Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: But as funeral preparations continue, the death of Pope John
Speaker 2: Paul the Second has prompted tributes from around the world.
Speaker 2: In Argentina, the nation's leaders attended church, while Mexican President
Speaker 2: Vincente Fox paid a call to his country's Vatican embassy. Elsewhere,
Speaker 2: the Pope, who was credited as a leading force of
Speaker 2: anti communism in the eighties, was fondly remembered by Wah,
Speaker 2: that's right, a Condolen's book, signed by none other than
Speaker 2: Fidel Castro, who and I say this with all respect
Speaker 2: is next. That's the pool I'm in. But perhaps the
Speaker 2: most moving tribute took place in Brazil, specifically that Catholic
Speaker 2: hot bed of Rio de Janeiro, where soccer fans remembered
Speaker 2: the Holy Father like this, and these people are mourning.
Speaker 2: You cannot bring the Brazilians down. You can't do it.
Speaker 2: In Rome, millions of people filled the streets for a
Speaker 2: chance to pay their respects to the pontiff in person,
Speaker 2: while outside Saint Peter's Cathedral, Italian official struggle to provide
Speaker 2: the crowds with blankets, portable toilet facilities, and of course
Speaker 2: incomprehensible cinema probably would have been better off with just
Speaker 2: more toilets. Now, what are you gonna do? One international
Speaker 2: worshiper described his dedication. I'm from Poland, from Warsaw.
Speaker 3: I came to Rome eight to nine o'clock.
Speaker 4: I walk.
Speaker 5: I've been walking for ten hours.
Speaker 2: He added, did you see the ball spot? Yeah? I
Speaker 2: been working on that. We're gonna take you out to Rome,
Speaker 2: Vatican City actually, where a Daily Show table correspondent at
Speaker 2: Helmes is standing by. Ed, thank you so much for
Speaker 2: joining us. I understand that. I understand that you have
Speaker 2: joined the throngs, the millions in Rome.
Speaker 6: That's correct, John, Like countless others from around the globe,
Speaker 6: I am waiting online here in Rome. I've just started
Speaker 6: our sixteen I don't know if I'm gonna make it.
Speaker 6: We're not all going to get.
Speaker 2: There, But Ed, can you give us a little bit
Speaker 2: of a sense of what it's like to be there
Speaker 2: in Rome during this historic moment.
Speaker 6: It's terrific, John, no problems at all. As you know,
Speaker 6: the Italians are famous for their organizational skills. They're handling
Speaker 6: this sudden influx of three million pilgrims like a Fiat
Speaker 6: handles on the auto strata.
Speaker 2: So you would mean terribly.
Speaker 6: It's not good, John, But they have done some things well.
Speaker 6: Officials are handing out bottled water, setting up porta potties
Speaker 6: and perhaps even more important, porta confessionals. As it turns out,
Speaker 6: ninety nine percent of all sins happen on pilgrimages.
Speaker 2: Well, that's underesting. It's interesting statistics. It does sound like
Speaker 2: there's been a spirit of coming together there.
Speaker 6: That h absolutely John. There's nothing like death to bring
Speaker 6: people to get Oh hey, looks like I'm up.
Speaker 3: Ari gotto.
Speaker 1: This stuff is awesome.
Speaker 2: You were online for gelato.
Speaker 6: Dude, you can't get the stuff in the United States.
Speaker 6: This is like triple delicious ice cream.
Speaker 7: It's better than sex.
Speaker 6: It reminds me I got to hit one of those confessionals.
Speaker 2: All right, Well, thank you very much. At Helm's everybody
Speaker 2: from Rome now, of course, Uh, that looks absolutely realistic.
Speaker 2: Of course, for many of us, the passing of Pope
Speaker 2: John Paul's a time for reflection on how to use
Speaker 2: the Pope's death to further your own agenda. It's a
Speaker 2: difficult task, after all, it would be impossible to sum
Speaker 2: up this Pope's personal political and religious beliefs with just
Speaker 2: one simple talking point.
Speaker 8: Frankly, this pope book, as I view it, is a great,
Speaker 8: great pillar of humanity because he liked freedom and he
Speaker 8: was in love with the culture of life.
Speaker 2: Yes, as luck would have it, the Pope's death turned
Speaker 2: out to be a wonderful time to point out how
Speaker 2: his views coincided exactly with those of many conservatives. I'll
Speaker 2: let White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan continue.
Speaker 9: The Holy Father was someone who stood for freedom, for
Speaker 9: human dignity, and promoting a culture of life. He was
Speaker 9: someone who believed very strongly in a culture of life.
Speaker 9: Culture of life.
Speaker 2: Okay, you've set it up on a tee. The Pope
Speaker 2: is beloved. Pope believed in a culture of life, Bring
Speaker 2: us home.
Speaker 9: The President has long believed in promoting a culture of life.
Speaker 1: Yes, you've got it. The Pope and the President won
Speaker 1: and the same.
Speaker 2: Yes, But unfortunately for the administration, the Pope had also
Speaker 2: expressed other beliefs. Yeah, I was gonna say, Senator Domnici,
Speaker 2: on the issue of the death penalty, you disagree with
Speaker 2: the Catholic Church.
Speaker 8: You know, that's a nice question. But I didn't really
Speaker 8: come on here to talk about that.
Speaker 2: I came on here to spin the Pope's death positively
Speaker 2: for me. Scott McClellan, same question.
Speaker 6: Knowing that the president.
Speaker 2: Police supports the death.
Speaker 5: Penalty, to use the death penalty, does he see it
Speaker 5: as a contradiction to use that phrase culture of life?
Speaker 9: I think the President's future well known. I don't think
Speaker 9: now is the time to talk about where they may
Speaker 9: have differed on one or two areas for shame.
Speaker 2: For shame, reporter, out of respect for the Holy Father,
Speaker 2: just once, could you not point out our book, please,
Speaker 2: just once, out of respect for the guy. Another place
Speaker 2: the Pope different from the administration was on the Warren
Speaker 2: of Rock. The Pope called it quote a defeat for humanity,
Speaker 2: while the Vatican referred to it as quote illegal, immoral,
Speaker 2: and unjust. To Fox News is Neil Cavudo. That meant
Speaker 2: there was some wiggle room in the Pope's position.
Speaker 8: I think he impressed a lot of people in the
Speaker 8: Arab and Islamic world by taking a strong stance against
Speaker 8: the war in Iraq.
Speaker 9: Something might his ues.
Speaker 3: We're not that black and white on the Warner Wreck,
Speaker 3: but the same, thank.
Speaker 7: You very much, I think you're wrong about that.
Speaker 3: Okay, well, we can argue, but I don't want to
Speaker 3: argue with you today because I like you.
Speaker 2: Pope says defeat for humanity, I say tomato. But as always,
Speaker 2: the classiest respects were paid by our good friends at Crossfire.
Speaker 1: We decided.
Speaker 2: We decided the best way to honor the Pope was
Speaker 2: through completely inappropriate show intro music. I you not. Here
Speaker 2: is an actual clip with the actual sound from the
Speaker 2: opening of Tuesday's Crossfire.
Speaker 3: Today on Crossfire.
Speaker 10: Live from the George Washington University and Robert Novad.
Speaker 1: The cross Fire Rata Tata Tata Tata data.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm starting to think I was too easy on
Speaker 2: those tricks. I'm starting to think that show's cancelation orders
Speaker 2: came from higher up than we thought. We know that
Speaker 2: Rick Sentram administration would look to the Vatican for inspiration,
Speaker 2: but how would Santorum get those messages of inspiration? Last
Speaker 2: week it became.
Speaker 11: Clear the Pontifical Council for Social Communications, or probably better
Speaker 11: known as Pope Benedicts social media team, is using Twitter
Speaker 11: in hopes of getting Catholics to focus more on Lent
Speaker 11: the Pope, who you see here using an iPad, nonetheless,
Speaker 11: will post spiritual guidance on Twitter.
Speaker 1: Pope has an iPad?
Speaker 2: What do you use that for? Why? Where is it?
Speaker 2: Bird so angry? That whats the pigs done to angers?
Speaker 2: The birds? The green boomel angie bird? Right? Why can
Speaker 2: not this bird learn forgiveness? But if a two thousand
Speaker 2: year old institution is doing, it's got to be cutting edge.
Speaker 2: Where do I find this holy Twitter feed?
Speaker 12: Pope Benedict will tweet some of his themes for this
Speaker 12: season at Pope to you, Vatican.
Speaker 2: Pope to you, Vatican. The Pope can't get a straight
Speaker 2: up Twitter handle? The Pope that is weak.
Speaker 1: Twitter.
Speaker 2: That is tweak, although it is the inspiration from a
Speaker 2: new off Broadway show. Pope Benedict the sixteenth chooses his
Speaker 2: Twitter account. I had to go with a chef's hat
Speaker 2: and a twenty year old iMac for some reason. As
Speaker 2: a Jew, obviously I'm not licensed to go full miner. Okay,
Speaker 2: this is Pope benedicta sixteen chooses his Twitter account. My
Speaker 2: new one mens www dot twitter dot com. Click on
Speaker 2: new account user name. The Pope already taken.
Speaker 1: What I'm the Pope? What about the real Pope?
Speaker 2: Nine nine how can that be taken?
Speaker 1: I am Zelle and Pope, that's the Holy Pope? Son
Speaker 1: of a bitch? How is that pope with a zero
Speaker 1: for the Oh? What is going on? How can the
Speaker 1: the actual holy see Pope Benedict sixty? Mother call it?
Speaker 1: Does this?
Speaker 13: Love?
Speaker 1: Smile? I'll just go with Pope to you. That's taken,
Speaker 1: Pope to you? Are you? Are you watching this? One
Speaker 1: man and one.
Speaker 2: Man shows what it's closed already.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's okay.
Speaker 2: Now that the pope's online, though, well, what's the pope
Speaker 2: gonna what's the Pope gonna put out there?
Speaker 12: The s Folkeson says, many of the key ideas of
Speaker 12: the Gospel fit very nicely into one hundred and forty
Speaker 12: character very convenient.
Speaker 2: It is very convenient, although not all of them, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. I don't know if you know
Speaker 2: the fame passage from the twenty third Psalm, though I
Speaker 2: walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I
Speaker 2: will fear, oh boy, so ghost. Of course, there was
Speaker 2: one message the Pope really does want to get across.
Speaker 1: That's good to see the Pope adapting to modern times.
Speaker 1: For me to gay with young people, I think that's
Speaker 1: a great.
Speaker 2: Idea, A great idea. What better way for a celebraty
Speaker 2: four year old to modernize his religion For a younger
Speaker 2: generation of hormone adult kids eager to protect themselves from
Speaker 2: an into and pregnancies and ScDs, they just start a
Speaker 2: Twitter account. I can't think of anything else you could
Speaker 2: do hashtag nothing comes to mind, But let's begin tonight
Speaker 2: where the only independent country, Liechtenstein, can whip Vatican City.
Speaker 2: Today mark the beginning of the twenty first centuries first
Speaker 2: papal conclave. As we speak, one hundred and fifteen Roman
Speaker 2: Catholic cardinals are gathered in the Sistine Chapel to choose
Speaker 2: the next pope, while thousands of pilgrims gathered outside the
Speaker 2: witness history and of course taunt the Swiss guards. Hey, hey, guardy,
Speaker 2: nice hat the northern breasted cockatoo called.
Speaker 3: Once in corners.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm sorry, is that too specific? This morning,
Speaker 2: the cardinals entered the chapel and took an oath of secrecy,
Speaker 2: promising the hell the rules of the conclave. First rule
Speaker 2: of conclave, you do not polk about conclave.
Speaker 1: Of course.
Speaker 2: Second rule of conclave. The one who denied its supplot.
Speaker 2: The cardinals are now discussing the church's future under the
Speaker 2: impressive backdrop of Michelangelo's painting The Last Judgment. Interestingly, in
Speaker 2: a poem written three years ago, John Paul the Second
Speaker 2: himself urged the cardinals to look to the masterpiece for
Speaker 2: inspiration when choosing his successor of an English translation of
Speaker 2: The Home Right here, let's see Kanto forty three. I
Speaker 2: believe Okay, Here it is a painter from Florence named
Speaker 2: Mikey through some pictures of Popeyes. You might like.
Speaker 14: Ee good ah.
Speaker 2: Oh, I wish I'd been on Oprah last week. You'd
Speaker 2: really have something to tune into. The Cardinals will not
Speaker 2: emerge until a pope is chosen. Wait a minute, that
Speaker 2: that's what you guys are gonna laugh at. I'm up
Speaker 2: here busting my nuts, all show for nothing.
Speaker 1: We throw up pope.
Speaker 2: Secret. Oh I am very.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 2: I can have Oprah disappear. You people, I'm friends with you.
Speaker 2: The cardinals will not emerge until a pope is chosen.
Speaker 2: For some this will mean days away from their wives,
Speaker 2: although those are the bad cardinals. But for further privacy,
Speaker 2: electronic jamming and anti bugging devices have been hidden under
Speaker 2: a false floor in the chapel, making it impossible to
Speaker 2: even get a cell phone signal, which is good because
Speaker 2: when you're making your case to be the spiritual leader
Speaker 2: of one point one billion people, nothing undercuts your argument like.
Speaker 1: Ratzinger.
Speaker 2: During each round of voting, the cardinals write the names
Speaker 2: of their chosen candidates on ballots marked illego insummum pontificum, which,
Speaker 2: if my Latin serves me correctly, is just a bunch
Speaker 2: of crazy gibberish. They keep voting until two thirds of
Speaker 2: the cardinals agree on one man after three days. If
Speaker 2: they don't, a simple majority will suffice. If that still
Speaker 2: doesn't do the trick, each side gets one possession from
Speaker 2: the twenty five yard line with a minute on the clock. Now,
Speaker 2: as is well known, the cardinal's progress is monitored by
Speaker 2: the color of the smoke emerging from the Vatican chimney. Today,
Speaker 2: black smoke emerged, meaning a pope had not been chosen.
Speaker 2: But when a pope is chosen, the chimney will look
Speaker 2: like this. Dudley, Uh. For more on the conclave, We're
Speaker 2: gonna go out to our senior religion correspondent, Ed Helms,
Speaker 2: who was in Vatican City, tonight, Ed, thank you so
Speaker 2: much for joining us talk to us.
Speaker 4: Ed.
Speaker 2: How's it going out there in Vatican City?
Speaker 8: John?
Speaker 6: The security here is tight. The Sistine Chapel is locked down.
Speaker 6: The place has been swept for bugs, surrounded by Swiss guards.
Speaker 6: Frescoes are rigged with explosives, Cyborg armies patrol the roof,
Speaker 6: and of course the slowman's shield.
Speaker 2: So there's really no sense. I guess a way for
Speaker 2: you to get in there and get a sense of
Speaker 2: what's happening.
Speaker 6: Not exactly, John, I do have a conclave simulation program,
Speaker 6: the Simstein ACU Chapel six thousand. Now, this gives you
Speaker 6: a pretty good idea of what's going on. As you
Speaker 6: can see, the College of Cardinals files into the chapel.
Speaker 6: Then they move past this guy here, kind of a
Speaker 6: downer in the world's top Catholics take their seats and prepare.
Speaker 2: The voting begins.
Speaker 6: The cardinals write their choice on official ballots. The votes
Speaker 6: are then tallied and burned in a furnace to produce smoke.
Speaker 6: Then afterwards everyone takes part in a violent shooting spree.
Speaker 4: Whoa and uh.
Speaker 15: That was?
Speaker 6: That was Grand Theft Autumn Grand Theft auto Vatican City, John,
Speaker 6: and thank you.
Speaker 2: That's really very nice here, I miss thanks for joining us.
Speaker 6: To say, oh slow down, John. With this recreation, even
Speaker 6: you can be part of the action.
Speaker 2: Check this out.
Speaker 6: Okay, now watch this.
Speaker 2: I'm totally conclavin.
Speaker 15: You got that, John.
Speaker 6: If I press the A button, I can vote for
Speaker 6: my favorite cardinal.
Speaker 2: And if I push the B button, this is awesome.
Speaker 1: I can put him who que. All right, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: we have to go now.
Speaker 2: I'm right.
Speaker 1: I'm totally working on a combo.
Speaker 6: Move A B B A puts Francis Cardinal Orenz in
Speaker 6: a headline.
Speaker 1: All right, thank you very much.
Speaker 3: Ed.
Speaker 2: We'll be right back after this. The whole pope thing,
Speaker 2: I'll tell you here's how wrong I was about this
Speaker 2: whole thing. As far as the new pope, I had
Speaker 2: my money on Lieberman. I thought, for sure. I'll tell
Speaker 2: you what conservative religious I thought.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: The only problem apparently he's got the what you caught
Speaker 2: there the penis.
Speaker 10: With the US.
Speaker 2: The apparently you want to be the pope, you got
Speaker 2: to wear something. But the important thing is I know
Speaker 2: nothing about anything. Let's uh, what an incredibly historic time
Speaker 2: in Rome yesterday and this morning. The crowds gathered in
Speaker 2: Saint Peter's Square. They were disappointed as black smoke emanating
Speaker 2: from the Vatican Chimney signaled that no pope had yet
Speaker 2: been chosen, because only an idiot would indicate a pope
Speaker 2: had been elected with black smoke.
Speaker 1: What But at six.
Speaker 2: O'clock Rom time eleven o'clock Eastern time, more smoke began
Speaker 2: to pour from the Vatican chimney. At first, many news
Speaker 2: people were caught off guard.
Speaker 10: Vatican Radio so far as saying it's black and you
Speaker 10: can hear no bells.
Speaker 1: However, once again there's a lot of confusion.
Speaker 2: About Jim black smoke.
Speaker 11: Yet again we're.
Speaker 2: Not absolutely positive here, Betty.
Speaker 3: This is a tough call. It's looking white now, looking white,
Speaker 3: all though.
Speaker 1: That looks darker now when you look at it.
Speaker 4: We all know what a tire fire looks like, and this,
Speaker 4: this is not it.
Speaker 1: What is there I could do?
Speaker 8: Now?
Speaker 1: What is their job? What is the news? What is
Speaker 1: their job?
Speaker 2: Are they reporters? Are they literally just sitting there in
Speaker 2: their pajamas drunk, yelling at the TV that that's my job.
Speaker 1: It's like Ms.
Speaker 2: Three three thousand for God said, They're just sitting there
Speaker 2: narrating it looks like smoke there in there. Here's it.
Speaker 2: Why did you flip over ABC?
Speaker 1: See what they have?
Speaker 2: But soon the news was confirmed, the bells began chumming.
Speaker 1: A new pondum had been selected. Kalu kala.
Speaker 2: Fox News broke the story with the stunning words we
Speaker 2: have off pope.
Speaker 1: We exclamation point.
Speaker 2: We have a pope.
Speaker 1: We have a pope.
Speaker 2: Apparently Fox News is now officially a diocese. By the way,
Speaker 2: the graphic on Al Jazeera TV was a little different.
Speaker 1: Now who is the new Pope?
Speaker 2: The throngs gathered in front of the ential balcony cheered
Speaker 2: wildly as the door swung open to reveal here he is.
Speaker 1: Pope Walker Affair, Oh my god, I.
Speaker 2: Can't actually no, It's Germany's Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, or the
Speaker 2: joey rat says he likes to be called Pope. John Fall,
Speaker 2: the second longtime Adviser, stood adorned with paper vestments and
Speaker 2: crowned with the pope signature white skull cap. And as
Speaker 2: he stood there before the adoring multitudes, it was then
Speaker 2: that he realized this is how Bono must feel.
Speaker 1: Whither with that gez Sunday Holy Sunday.
Speaker 2: Ratzinger, now known as Benedict the sixteenth, addressed the crowd.
Speaker 1: Let me hear you say.
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Now now just the ladies.
Speaker 1: So there you have it. The suspense is over.
Speaker 2: Roman Catholicism has a new pontiff, and as usual, the
Speaker 2: CNN news crawl was the first signal of the media's
Speaker 2: return to idiocy as the pope's being announced. They announced
Speaker 2: singer klay Ak and we'll talk about his own experiences
Speaker 2: with bullying on the Doctor Phil Show today. How are
Speaker 2: we supposed to watch that without getting brain damage?
Speaker 1: Someday?
Speaker 2: There was the easter there, so you know that was
Speaker 2: a good time. Let's check in with the new Pope,
Speaker 2: Francis the first and see how he's holding up.
Speaker 5: The first pope from Latin America is setting a new
Speaker 5: tone with the papacy, choosing to wear simple white vestments,
Speaker 5: shake hands with the public and focus on the.
Speaker 7: Poor, presenting the priesthood as as a as a task.
Speaker 3: Of service, choosing a simple apartment so for the grand
Speaker 3: papal residents, accepting a soccer jersey from his favorite team.
Speaker 1: Servant communion at a time for where.
Speaker 2: Minus red slippers that pay less trading in the popemobile
Speaker 2: for a pope moped, it's a simpler time.
Speaker 3: What else is he doing paying his hotel bill after
Speaker 3: becoming pope?
Speaker 2: Where the popes didn't used to pay their hotel bills.
Speaker 2: The other popes, what do they do when they go
Speaker 2: to check out? They're just like, Hey, this thing's got
Speaker 2: no pockets. What are you gonna do? I tell you this,
Speaker 2: Pope Francis seems like a breath of fresh air. I
Speaker 2: like this. He prefers the title of Bishop of Rome,
Speaker 2: simpler and less majestic than Pope or his holiness. Please,
Speaker 2: his Holiness lives in Florida. Basically, everything Pope Francis does
Speaker 2: is a standing.
Speaker 1: Reproach to the more.
Speaker 2: Festoons style of his predecessor. I'm not saying Benedict over Dennet,
Speaker 2: but every time that guy went to Mexico, kids hit
Speaker 2: him with sticks. Open jewels would pour out, what is
Speaker 2: the most unbenedict Like thing? What is the most you
Speaker 2: like that? What is the most unbenedict Like thing Pope
Speaker 2: Francis could do?
Speaker 5: Instead of washing the feet of twelfth priest on Holy Thursday,
Speaker 5: the Pope disregarded church custom and washed the feet of
Speaker 5: twelve prisoners, including a Muslim woman.
Speaker 13: I don't see anybody's religion. All I see is twenty
Speaker 13: four really thirty feet? What one hundred and twenty very
Speaker 13: thirty dollars.
Speaker 1: Let's do this again. This little thing he went together,
Speaker 1: this little thing he went to prison. You are not
Speaker 1: even I love this guy.
Speaker 2: He's given prisoners many popies.
Speaker 1: We should call him Pope.
Speaker 2: Raymond because everybody loves and it's only a second week
Speaker 2: on the job.
Speaker 1: How do you top this?
Speaker 5: The new Pope is marking the weekend with many first
Speaker 5: on Italian television. Today, the Pope did something Pope's.
Speaker 2: Rarely do, hunt rare lions from a hot air balloon.
Speaker 2: Harlem shak, tell the aristocrats joke.
Speaker 5: The Pope did something Pope's rarely do, participating in a
Speaker 5: broadcast special on the Shroud of Turin. It's the first
Speaker 5: televised showing in forty years of the Shroud, only the
Speaker 5: second time in history.
Speaker 2: What a relief to Catholics everywhere to have their new
Speaker 2: Pope go on television. This is the only dirty laundry
Speaker 2: he's going to be airing.
Speaker 1: But I'll get it.
Speaker 2: Mister Varney, your supply sider, you want to hear a
Speaker 2: moral argument about that type of economics. Well, let's look
Speaker 2: to a gentleman seen as a voice of moral authority
Speaker 2: for millions of people today.
Speaker 4: Pope Francis denounced trickled economics as unfair to the poor.
Speaker 11: He calls unfettered capitalism a new tyranny, and he urges
Speaker 11: world leaders to fight poverty and inequality.
Speaker 3: Money must serve, not rule.
Speaker 12: I exhort you to generous solidarity and to the return
Speaker 12: of economics in finance to an ethical approach which favors
Speaker 12: human beings.
Speaker 2: Oh, somebody lights some incense. That's going to go over
Speaker 2: like a fart in church.
Speaker 16: I disagree with the pope who doesn't like free market capitalism.
Speaker 16: I think free market capitalism is a great liberator.
Speaker 1: Ah, you're going up against the Pope.
Speaker 2: You're going up against the Pope on how to help
Speaker 2: the poor, helping the poors in this man's wheelhouse. This
Speaker 2: pope helps the poor, but you're telling him how to
Speaker 2: do his job. Pope doesn't come over to where you
Speaker 2: work and slap Jamie Diamonds get.
Speaker 1: Of your mouth. That's weird. That wasn't in the prompter.
Speaker 2: Can anyone actually have a rebuttal?
Speaker 15: For the Pope with all due humility, and as a
Speaker 15: church going Catholic convert, devotional convert, I adore the Holy Father.
Speaker 15: I still must completely disagree. Need I remind his Holiness,
Speaker 15: Pope Francis. Charity is a Gospel value that puts free
Speaker 15: market capitalism on the right side of the Lord.
Speaker 2: Exactly, free market capitalism on the right side of the
Speaker 2: Lord who says.
Speaker 1: You can't serve both God and money. Who would say
Speaker 1: such a thing?
Speaker 3: Wo would.
Speaker 1: Save such an.
Speaker 2: That's a fair look at the beard.
Speaker 1: Guy's clearly a Marxist, all right, step right up? Who's
Speaker 1: got next?
Speaker 16: And the Pope criticizes an entire economic system and he's
Speaker 16: negative about it. He's indulging in politics, and I don't
Speaker 16: think he should. I personally do not want my spiritual
Speaker 16: life mixed up with my political life. I go to
Speaker 16: church to save my soul.
Speaker 1: Then why aren't you there right now?
Speaker 2: I do think we've got some common ground here. I
Speaker 2: think we both actually agree that some people are being
Speaker 2: paid too much money to shovel unappetizing, unhealthy to the
Speaker 2: American public. We just disagree about who those people are
Speaker 2: and where they were speeding with Juwis let's go. Why
Speaker 2: don't we start the show with the opposite of said
Speaker 2: Richard Lewis.
Speaker 1: The Pope is the head of the Jewish Church.
Speaker 2: Pope is the head of the Catholic Church, the Vicar
Speaker 2: of Christ. Number one on Godspeed Dial one point two
Speaker 2: billion worshipers hanging on the Pope's every word. And guess
Speaker 2: what the word just came down.
Speaker 12: Ope Francis issued a nearly two hundred page document casting
Speaker 12: climate change as a moral issue, not simply a political
Speaker 12: or economic debate.
Speaker 2: A two hundred page, two hundred page and cyclical moral
Speaker 2: treaties on climate change and just in.
Speaker 1: Time for beach season.
Speaker 2: What a great read down at LBI. I hope it's
Speaker 2: in the original Latin. So the Pope is weighing in
Speaker 2: on the side of taking action against climate change. It
Speaker 2: seems a lot for the Catholic Church to take an
Speaker 2: environmental stance. But Buddhism was the religion obsessed with recycling.
Speaker 1: Oh boom boom, oh snap, no you did it? Oh
Speaker 1: where where my eightfold pathwalkers at?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: That wine usually doesn't get a lot of enthusiasm. It's
Speaker 2: not to say the Vatican as being a popey come
Speaker 2: lately to this. They've recognized climate change for a long time.
Speaker 7: The Vatican claims it was among the first institutions to
Speaker 7: believe that global warming is caused by human activities. The
Speaker 7: Vatican's Potentifical Academy of Sciences was the first exclusive scientific
Speaker 7: academy in the world. Among its first members was Galileo Galilei.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you really want to list Galileo
Speaker 2: as one of your references. The Catholic Church, yeah, I
Speaker 2: remember working with them. They were lovely people. Convicted me
Speaker 2: of heresy and sends me to house arrest for the
Speaker 2: last nine years of my life. Otherwise, though, very forward thinking.
Speaker 2: Tell me more about this magic hand I'm talking into
Speaker 2: now here. In America, the Republican Party has traditionally been
Speaker 2: pretty pop pope, pretty pro pope, sharing as they do,
Speaker 2: a yearning for the simpler morality of fifteenth century. But
Speaker 2: now that the pope has gone rogue, how they going
Speaker 2: to handle it?
Speaker 14: Joe Barton, the senior Republican on the Energy and Commerce Committee,
Speaker 14: says he doesn't consider the pope an expert on environmental issue.
Speaker 14: Is state was his job?
Speaker 2: I mean, let us state with artists, that is his job.
Speaker 2: That's the biggest job of the pope is to tell
Speaker 2: people when they're being bad. So he dresses like a
Speaker 2: big white blanket. Just uh, but you know what Barton
Speaker 2: and Enhoff, who cares about those guys? San Tormal back
Speaker 2: to pope, Like sant Torm's so Catholic. He was an
Speaker 2: altar boy until like six weeks ago.
Speaker 1: So this guy's so Catholic.
Speaker 2: His crucifix, where's a crucifix?
Speaker 14: I think that, uh, we probably are better off leaving
Speaker 14: science to the scientists and focusing on what we do,
Speaker 14: what we're what we're really good at, which is uh,
Speaker 14: which is the which is theology and morality?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, no, you should leave it.
Speaker 1: Just leave the science to the scientists.
Speaker 2: By the way, what do the scientists who have an
Speaker 2: overwhelming consensus about global warming say about global warming? Even
Speaker 2: Republican front runner, Yeah, be Booth.
Speaker 1: Is chafing at the pope.
Speaker 10: I don't get economic policy from my bishops or my
Speaker 10: cardinals or from my pope. I think religion ought to
Speaker 10: be about making us better as people and less about
Speaker 10: things that end up getting into the political realm.
Speaker 2: Yeah, religion is about making us better people. Politics is
Speaker 2: about bringing out our worst, and I think we need
Speaker 2: to keep those things, you know. But this is weird
Speaker 2: because Jeb seemed very in favor of church and state,
Speaker 2: at least dating at last week's Faith and Freedom coalition.
Speaker 4: Our faith and our moral traditions, it is really the
Speaker 4: moral foundation of our country, the greatest country on the
Speaker 4: face of the earth. This conscience should also be respected
Speaker 4: when people of faith want to take a stand for
Speaker 4: traditional marriage.
Speaker 2: Oh so there, it's okay. Well, perhaps maybe people would
Speaker 2: be more for preventing global warming if we referred to
Speaker 2: it as taking a stand for preserving traditional sea levels.
Speaker 2: It's out of an EU of work.
Speaker 11: I didn't know it.
Speaker 2: Ort As the Bible says, it is Adam and Eve,
Speaker 2: not Adam and Cook. Look, Republicans reacting to the Pope's
Speaker 2: honest call for environmental consciousness with hostility. It's not the
Speaker 2: way to go. And the Pope lays down the doctrine
Speaker 2: like this, there was only one force on earth powerful
Speaker 2: enough to sway him.
Speaker 12: Exon has sent actually a senior lobbyist and another executive
Speaker 12: over to Rome.
Speaker 15: Exon's been lobbing the Vatican over the Pope's climate change message.
Speaker 2: They've appealed to a higher authority than God, and so
Speaker 2: in the in the words of our Lord and Savior,
Speaker 2: Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1: Drill Baby Drill.
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