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Speaker 1: You can't hear me.

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Speaker 2: Concession, I can't take back earl arms Mouth.

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Speaker 3: Speaker text to seventy five nine two says as a kid,

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Speaker 3: I had a weird obsession with the Pillsbury dough Boy. Really,

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Speaker 3: every time we bought a Pillsbury product, I made my

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Speaker 3: mom cut out the dough boy picture on.

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Speaker 2: The packaging and I would tape it on my bedroom wall.

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Speaker 3: I had hundreds of dough boys decorating my room into

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Speaker 3: my teens.

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Speaker 1: Yes for life.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, some people have posters of half naked supermodels on

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Speaker 3: their walls. Some people have pictures of fully naked pastry boys.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you know what naked? Well, he has a scarf

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Speaker 2: and a hat.

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Speaker 1: That's the odd part, you know. It's like either go

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Speaker 1: no clothes or just some like excuse me.

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Speaker 2: He's a chef. He's gonna wear his chef at That's

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Speaker 2: why we trust him. It counts his clothing in our world.

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Speaker 3: And if we don't, we just want you to come

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Speaker 3: on the show and share your secrets here on the

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Speaker 3: mass Speaker while we keep you anonymous and.

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Speaker 2: Preserve your dignity.

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Speaker 3: Like with today's caller, who's chosen to go by the

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Speaker 3: fake name Larissa, So Larissa, Welcome to the show. Hi.

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Speaker 1: Thanks. Do you want us to change your voice so

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Speaker 1: you sound like the Pillsbury door?

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Speaker 4: Please?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 3: Well with the laugh even the voice changer is on.

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Speaker 3: You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear

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Speaker 3: your confession.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So years ago, I signed up to do a

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Speaker 4: five k run for a charity. Some of my friends

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Speaker 4: were doing it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, wow, that's a big secret. I wouldn't want anybody

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Speaker 2: to know.

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Speaker 4: I'm so terrible.

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Speaker 1: I'm so terrible people there.

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Speaker 4: I didn't finish the race because of the embarrassing thing.

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Speaker 2: Okay, what happened?

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Speaker 4: So here, I'm not a runner, I'm lazy. My friends, however,

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Speaker 4: are all really athletic, and like some of them did

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Speaker 4: cross country in school and so they were like super

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Speaker 4: competitive and they just took off.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so they're going fast on the five k, because

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Speaker 1: there's always people who just walk the five k's.

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Speaker 2: Like the same loop three times walked.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I was I was happy with them. I'm okay

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Speaker 4: with them taking off. I was just jogging. I'm doing

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Speaker 4: my best. And then there's this really cute guy running

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Speaker 4: near me, really cute muscle shirt and curly brown hair,

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Speaker 4: and my mission changed from survived the race to stay

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Speaker 4: with this guy. They eye contact, look charming.

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Speaker 2: You're like the rabbit.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he's like the rabbit and you're the dogs.

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Speaker 4: I was trying to be a gazelle, but it wasn't

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Speaker 4: happening for me. Right, I'm just jogging along. So but

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Speaker 4: we do like catch each other's eye right now and then,

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Speaker 4: and I smile and he smiles back, and I'm like, yay,

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Speaker 4: it's working.

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Speaker 1: Okay, because he slowly start to get more and more

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Speaker 1: out of breath.

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Speaker 4: It's working. If I live, it's working. And we go

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Speaker 4: around a corner, I look over it because I'm going

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Speaker 4: to make eye contact and be charming, right, And when

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Speaker 4: I did that, I guess I just sort of I

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Speaker 4: veered off a smidge and all of a sudden, I

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Speaker 4: hit something really hard and I fall down and I

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Speaker 4: rolled and I have I know that's not even.

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Speaker 2: The worst Oh no, oh god.

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Speaker 4: Right, I ran into one of those stupid metal steaks

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Speaker 4: that hold up the ribbon on the side of the track.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, did that sounds so painful?

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Speaker 4: It was, But I was stuck because I got tangled

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Speaker 4: up in the ribbon and I have no idea.

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Speaker 3: How were you still keeping eye contact with the guy

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Speaker 3: the entire time.

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Speaker 2: As you rolled?

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Speaker 4: I was getting harder because I'm choking myself. I'm this rope.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, see in a row and this would be

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Speaker 1: the moment that he comes and rescues you fall madly.

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Speaker 1: It's too busy to turn around, so I got to

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Speaker 1: keep going.

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Speaker 4: I was like a Pomeranian on one of those retractable leashes,

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Speaker 4: you know.

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Speaker 3: So you're completely tangled up now in the ribbon that

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Speaker 3: goes along the side.

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Speaker 2: Of the track.

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Speaker 4: I've hold tied myself.

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Speaker 1: This is embarrassing.

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Speaker 4: And there were firefighters too, so that was an embarrassing day.

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Speaker 1: Wait, the firefighters had to even come help you.

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Speaker 4: They had to cut me free suffocate myself because I

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Speaker 4: had stupid ribbon wrapped around my neck and a bunch

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Speaker 4: of people.

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Speaker 1: Oh come on, wait, you don't tell this story all

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Speaker 1: the time, because to me, that's hilarious.

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Speaker 4: My girlfriends know because they were well when they finished

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Speaker 4: the race. There I am with stitches and into the

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Speaker 4: steak cut my legs. I'm sure that guy is telling

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Speaker 4: the story too, about this crazy chick who was stalking.

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Speaker 2: Down the five Ka. You go back from a kate.

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Speaker 2: Looks like you got back from a battle.

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Speaker 1: So how many runs have you done since?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Non and done for you with emotions.

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Speaker 2: There you go.

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Speaker 1: That's the only way you make stitches feel better. I'm okay.

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Speaker 3: Well, what about the cute guy that you were chasing?

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Speaker 3: Did you ever catch up to him at the end

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Speaker 3: or did you see him again?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 4: I know I was in an ambulance.

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Speaker 1: You're telling me there wasn't one hot firefighter to be seen.

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Speaker 4: It must have been like the wrong calendar monks or something.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Wow. Also as a firefighter, I don't think you should

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Speaker 3: be like flirting with the concussed, bleeding woman tangled in rope.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's a good look.

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Speaker 1: Had an allergic reaction, and she was like, there was

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Speaker 1: a hottie that came to my door.

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Speaker 2: She was also heavily concussed. Shock. That's all. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 2: well that's hot, all right.

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Speaker 3: Text in the seven eighty five nine two, If you

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Speaker 3: have a confession that you've been holding on to, we

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Speaker 3: can hide your identity, mask your voice, and make you

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Speaker 3: our next mass speaker.

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Speaker 2: Your phone TAP's coming up right after this