Speaker 1: My mother would be disappointed in me. It's one more thing.
Speaker 1: I'm strong and getty one more.
Speaker 2: That's a heavy, one more thing living knowing your mom
Speaker 2: would be disappointed in you again.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: Again.
Speaker 1: So ah, I was I'm going to not be at
Speaker 1: work Maniana tomorrow. We were speaking these words on Wednesday,
Speaker 1: the thirteenth of May. I will be off tomorrow. I'm
Speaker 1: playing in a golf tournament. And normally I'd be worried
Speaker 1: about how I'm gonna play, a concerned, a little nervous
Speaker 1: how you are before a sports thingy. But all I
Speaker 1: worry about this time is not being injured, not aggravating
Speaker 1: an injury I've got, which is I had a tear
Speaker 1: in some of the the muscles like the adductor that
Speaker 1: Al Gore used to like to get rubbed. It gets
Speaker 1: near you crack, you know if you if you're gonna
Speaker 1: squeeze a basketball between your knees, that's your adductor's.
Speaker 3: Okay, And then you're why would I want to do that.
Speaker 2: So it doesn't fall to the ground obviously, yeah, And
Speaker 2: the hands are full of something else.
Speaker 1: Well clearly yeah. And then you got your ham strings,
Speaker 1: which is like the muscles of the back of your leg.
Speaker 1: And there's a couple in the one that's close to
Speaker 1: the adductor. So I strained the crap out of that one.
Speaker 1: A couple of muscles that's your interior hamstring or something
Speaker 1: or I don't remember. Anyway, Boy getting old teaches you
Speaker 1: about anatomy.
Speaker 2: Did you forget to activate your glutes?
Speaker 1: I did, Michael. I have a lot of trouble activating
Speaker 1: my glutes, just like Tiger. All right, So here's how
Speaker 1: I heard it them it that area. I take this
Speaker 1: golf lesson. It's great.
Speaker 3: Keep your head down, keep your left arm straight.
Speaker 1: Oh you took the same lesson. Huh and uh and
Speaker 1: and I realized, Okay, that's great and it's really helping me.
Speaker 1: But I'm still not flexible enough to pull it off
Speaker 1: regularly because of all my arthritis and hip replacements stuff
Speaker 1: like that. And so I vow I'm going to swing
Speaker 1: a golf club twenty times a day, every single day.
Speaker 1: That's the best way to stretch it out. Make it
Speaker 1: an everyday thing. Just go out in my driveway, swing it,
Speaker 1: and go back and do whatever I'm doing. So, like
Speaker 1: day two of this, I go out into my super
Speaker 1: busy day. We had a busy day at work and
Speaker 1: then I had an appointment. I've got five minutes to
Speaker 1: do my golf swings and it's day two. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: if you don't do it today, you just yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you ended your resolution on January third. Just sad. And
Speaker 1: so I go out into my driveway and I take
Speaker 1: a swing. Then I think, you know, you need to
Speaker 1: stretch a little bit. So I'm stretching out. I'm like
Speaker 1: doing toe touches more or less. And I hear a
Speaker 1: door slam, car door, pick up truck door. Guy ambles
Speaker 1: up my driveway. Do a little stretching. Huh, he says,
Speaker 1: years old beard. I'm like, yeah, yeah, trying to get looseen.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And he says, yeah, yeah, I got
Speaker 1: compressed my account. What's the compress my vertebrae number three
Speaker 1: and number four? Yeah. I said, oh, you're too young
Speaker 1: for that. He goes, yeah, yeah, it really hurts sometimes.
Speaker 1: And I'm like okay, yeah, and he says something else,
Speaker 1: and uh, he's in your driveway. He's walking on my driveway.
Speaker 1: I've got like a short driveway and then a big
Speaker 1: ish area where you can park and uh, and he's
Speaker 1: walking toward me. Yeah, this, Then I tell you what
Speaker 1: and I'm like, finally I slip you with something. Finally
Speaker 1: I said to him, I said, look, are we just
Speaker 1: two guys talking about stretching on my driveway or is
Speaker 1: there something I can.
Speaker 3: Do for you? What you said?
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, And so so he hits me. He says,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, I'm a yeah, funny you bring it up. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm whatever. What Brandon? Is that? What the Chinese food?
Speaker 1: What you name your son Brandon? So he goes, oh, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm Brandon. I'm the project manager. We're doing your the
Speaker 1: Smith's house, tudors down the roof. Just wanted to tell
Speaker 1: you about our roofing inspection plan and you are absolutely
Speaker 1: not supposed to solicit like that in my hood. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, a roof is in fine shape.
Speaker 1: Give me your card, I'll let you know if we
Speaker 1: need anything. All right, give to me happy stretching. And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, for f's sake, And so at
Speaker 1: this point.
Speaker 2: You're you're better than me that I'm like, don't sell
Speaker 2: me stuff. I know my driveway. It's a nice day.
Speaker 3: I don't want some son stuff. I know.
Speaker 1: I know, it's it's partly that that doesn't happen in
Speaker 1: my hood. And so I thought, oh, this is like
Speaker 1: my neighbor's son or or he's the new guy in
Speaker 1: the hood. Yeah, that's good because that's the vibe. And
Speaker 1: so at this point, this guy is chewed up three
Speaker 1: and a half of my five minutes, and I am
Speaker 1: pissed off. And so do you know what an orange
Speaker 1: whip is? Not the cocktail popularized in orange Whip, Orange Whip,
Speaker 1: orange whip, three orange whips exactly. That was Blues Brothers. Yeah, John,
Speaker 1: It's a golf training tool. It's like a whippy thing
Speaker 1: with an orange ball at the end that you use
Speaker 1: to stretch your back and get your timing blow bother.
Speaker 1: It's a tool. And so I'm pissed off. So I'm like, you, asshole,
Speaker 1: I got it a tone, And so I take my
Speaker 1: orange whip and I take like fifteen violent fast swings,
Speaker 1: prixturing his head. Yeah, well more or less. I wake up.
Speaker 1: Was it the next day or the day after that?
Speaker 1: I can't remember, and I can't walk. I cannot walk.
Speaker 1: Everything's in spasm. I can barely move. I'm like crying
Speaker 1: out in pain. I gotta take muscle relaxance and pain killers.
Speaker 1: It didn't happen at the time when you were doing that. No,
Speaker 1: I didn't feel it at the time. You're way overstretched
Speaker 1: it and tore it, and so.
Speaker 3: Wow, I would have thought it would have hurt right then.
Speaker 1: So freaking stupid. Well, you know, adrenaline is the most
Speaker 1: incredible painkiller in the world. I've experienced that playing sports,
Speaker 1: where you get done and you realize you're socking, your
Speaker 1: shoe are full of blood. You're like, what the hell happened?
Speaker 3: Like when I wrecked my motorcycle. Oh, I was fine.
Speaker 2: I was halfway home in that uber, bleeding all over
Speaker 2: his back seat everything. All of a sudden, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: this hurts, right, I haven't.
Speaker 1: Felt anything so anyway. Yeah, And so I've been rehabbing
Speaker 1: like a mother scratcher, and I haven't played golf in
Speaker 1: two weeks, just trying to heal this thing I've done.
Speaker 1: I've swung a few times in all, and so I've
Speaker 1: just got to see if it work. But my mom
Speaker 1: always said, because my sister and I were a year
Speaker 1: apart and we'd fight sometimes. We're best friends now, thank god,
Speaker 1: but she'd always say don't say they made you mad.
Speaker 1: That's a decision you make. You're in control of your
Speaker 1: emotions and your reactions rise above it. And he made
Speaker 1: me mad, and I'm paying the star stupid tax.
Speaker 3: That's a good one. That's a good one. In pain,
Speaker 3: I'm Joe getting um that's a good one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, how'd you hurt your leg? Well, this bearded guy
Speaker 1: was trying to sell me.
Speaker 2: Roof, I got mad at a salesperson is not a
Speaker 2: good good answer, never mind makes you got pissed and forgot?
Speaker 1: I'm old and was That doesn't sound good.
Speaker 2: That The reason I'm hurt for weeks or months or
Speaker 2: maybe forever is because I got so mad.
Speaker 1: At a salesperson, totally lost my head and abused my
Speaker 1: own body. I punched myself in the face repeatedly to
Speaker 1: show him how mad I was.
Speaker 3: You remember that?
Speaker 1: Might as well have Jeez, what a jackass? The stupid tax?
Speaker 2: There it is?
Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.