WEBVTT - Featuring Olivia O'Brien 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:05.000 Hi guys, and welcome back to this week's episode of 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:08.360 The Left bal Podcast. I'm your host, Sammy J. Welcome. 0:00:08.520 --> 0:00:11.200 I hope you guys had a lovely week. We did 0:00:11.200 --> 0:00:13.640 not pose last week because it was Thanksgiving, but I 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:16.000 hope you had a lovely day and I'm very thankful 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:18.800 for all of you, and I'm also thankful for this episode. 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:22.680 Look at that transition, you guys. Anyways, Um, this week 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.639 I got to chat with the incredibly talented Olivia O'Brien. 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:30.120 We have a really daunderous conversation about life growing up 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:34.720 in the public eye, social media, dating, her music, her 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:38.880 latest tour, her EP episode season one, and so much more. 0:00:39.159 --> 0:00:44.640 I hope you guys enjoy. I was so excited during 0:00:44.680 --> 0:00:46.680 my podcast and I'm so excited we're doing this in person. 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:49.360 Thanks for having me. Do you normally do zoom stuff? 0:00:49.479 --> 0:00:51.640 Is that what even doing lately? Or what was in 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:55.240 person than pandemic and now it's like a mixture. So 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:59.080 I'm like seeing people in person just makes me so happy. Yeah, same, same. 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:02.200 I'd love to tell to about social media. How do 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:06.080 you find a balance? You have millions of followers on Instagram. 0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:08.520 I'm nineteen and for so many other people in my age, 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:11.800 and for some it's fun, but it's also part of 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:14.880 a business and it can sometimes be really difficult. It's 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:16.800 really hard, and I pretty much have to be on 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:20.080 social media. Like I've taken breaks before and just like 0:01:20.200 --> 0:01:21.800 send my photos to Max and been like you can 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:25.720 you post this? Um, it's weird. It's it's hard. I 0:01:25.760 --> 0:01:28.640 stopped editing my photos like I used to, like not 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:31.040 like changing everything, but like I used to like use 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:33.000 face two and like I don't really use it anymore, 0:01:33.120 --> 0:01:35.280 like I do. I mean, if I have a pimple 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:37.000 or like, if something looks weird in a photo, I'm 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:39.160 gonna edit it out. But I don't know. It's just 0:01:39.319 --> 0:01:42.920 like I'm trying really hard to have a healthy relationship 0:01:42.920 --> 0:01:45.520 with social media myself. It's I think it's a struggle. 0:01:45.880 --> 0:01:49.680 It's kind of um an impossible task, or it seems 0:01:49.760 --> 0:01:52.840 very daunting because like you, literally the internet is dangerous. 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:57.040 You have access to literally any piece of information about 0:01:57.080 --> 0:02:00.000 anything or anyone at any time pretty much, and even 0:02:00.000 --> 0:02:02.720 if it's not true, you can still probably find out 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:07.560 something about something like people's conspiracy theories and like I 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:10.880 don't know and and everyone's um, you can go down 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:13.600 a rabbit hole so fast. Yeah, Like I always see 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:15.680 things about myself that aren't even true, and like that 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:19.240 must be so annoying. It's like the weirdest feeling in 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:23.000 the world. But I have just really been trying to 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:26.760 not focus on anyone else but me when I'm on 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:28.880 social media. Like that sounds not like in a selfish way, 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:32.040 but like I don't need to go compare my likes 0:02:32.080 --> 0:02:34.040 to this person. Also, turning my legs off was really 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:36.920 like I I really really liked doing that. I'm not 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:39.400 ashamed to admit it. I've deleted photos in the past, 0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:42.519 and it's just it's stupid. If you like a photo, 0:02:42.760 --> 0:02:45.080 just post it exactly when you turn the legs off, 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:48.120 and you like, I don't even really check, Like I'm 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:49.360 the only one that can see how many I get 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:51.040 and I don't even check it because it's it still 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:52.799 says like and others to me and my profile and 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:54.520 you click on any looks like if I don't want 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:56.800 to know, I don't even have to know. I haven't 0:02:56.800 --> 0:02:59.600 been on TikTok in a really long time. And maybe 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:01.720 it's add but I'm proud of myself for that. But 0:03:01.840 --> 0:03:05.320 I am um what's your favorite social media app? Because 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:07.600 something that I know I've talked about in past episodes, 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:12.399 but in college specifically, the main app that's used is Snapchat. 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:16.480 Texting is not a thing. It's just snapchatting. And to me, 0:03:16.880 --> 0:03:18.639 I just I missed text and I wish I could 0:03:18.680 --> 0:03:22.799 delete Snapchat sometimes, but it's how everyone communicates. Yeah, that's 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.040 such a like college and high school thing. I hate it. 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:27.720 I absolutely hate it. My best friend she is uh, 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:30.160 she goes to school at um Pitzer, like forty five 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:32.840 minutes away from here, and she's she came over. She 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:34.800 sleep and sleeping my house for the past two nights, 0:03:35.040 --> 0:03:36.840 and she was like snapchatting this boy last night. And 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:39.400 I'm like, dude, I haven't used snapchat in so long, 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:41.960 Like I just don't use it. Whenever someone snapchats me, 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:44.720 I'm very confused. Um, but it's such a college thing. 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:47.200 I know, it's terrible. I wish people could just text 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:49.880 me or call me, just text me, I know, seriously, 0:03:49.920 --> 0:03:52.440 Like why it just seems like sus and weird and 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:54.280 it reminds me of like middle school and it's not. 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:56.480 It triggers me from high school. And I was like, 0:03:56.560 --> 0:03:58.440 did I just get out of here. Yeah, it's not 0:03:58.440 --> 0:04:00.920 not the greatest. Um. I'd say my go to social 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:04.040 media is probably TikTok, just because it's so easy to 0:04:04.080 --> 0:04:08.880 just waste so much time and and I feel like 0:04:08.920 --> 0:04:12.160 it's especially in the music industry, everyone's so obsessed with 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:14.400 it right now, like let's make this a trend and 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:16.839 blahlah ball and you feel like you're left out if 0:04:16.920 --> 0:04:19.320 you're not always on TikTok. Like there's so many weird 0:04:19.360 --> 0:04:22.480 trends that are always happening. It's like, I don't know, 0:04:22.560 --> 0:04:25.800 it's it's like there's always another one. It feels like 0:04:25.839 --> 0:04:29.080 the like YouTube for people with really short attentions. Because 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:32.799 is it hard writing music in such an time period 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:34.800 when it's all about, you know, making sure that this 0:04:34.839 --> 0:04:36.880 goes viral, this blows up, but actually focusing on the 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:39.320 art of it still. Honestly, when I'm writing, I don't 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:42.440 think about anything except for what I want to say, um, 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.599 because that's just how my best songs are made, and 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:48.400 that's how I work as an artists, like always what 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:52.880 I've done since I was a little kid. Um. But 0:04:52.960 --> 0:04:54.320 you know, like the other day I wrote a song 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.040 I was I just started writing going back into sessions 0:04:57.080 --> 0:05:00.680 pretty recently, um, after like me in my little tour 0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:02.920 and just I've been super busy with other things and 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:05.600 I haven't really been writing. But I had two sessions 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:08.839 last week, and the first one we wrote this song 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:11.479 and it was we were having so much fun. It 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:14.000 was like a really great session and we finished a 0:05:14.040 --> 0:05:15.800 song and I was like, wait, like this, actually I 0:05:15.800 --> 0:05:18.080 could see like this being a moment on TikTok or something, 0:05:18.360 --> 0:05:20.640 and I was glad that I didn't have that thought 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:23.400 until after we had already written the song. But like, 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:25.200 that's kind of how it works. It's like, oh, I 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:27.680 could see this happening, and then it's like after the 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:29.719 song is done, I'm like, oh, what could I do 0:05:30.240 --> 0:05:34.039 for this? But I also don't really like I it 0:05:34.160 --> 0:05:36.120 sucks to think like that, Like you don't want to 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:39.680 be like, well, let's make a song that will but 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:41.760 with the age we're living in, it's kind of hard 0:05:41.839 --> 0:05:44.719 not to think that way. Yeah. Yeah, but it's like 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:50.400 I've never even like even before TikTok was a thing, um, 0:05:50.440 --> 0:05:52.920 I never wrote a song or wrote songs being like, well, 0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:55.120 let's try to get it as as top forty radio 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:56.840 as possible so that we could get it like to 0:05:56.920 --> 0:05:59.680 sound as radio and cool, like I never thought like 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:01.760 that work. That's what I find so interesting and so 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:04.000 kind of unique about your career is that it just 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:06.800 started with that one song I Hate You, I Love You, 0:06:06.800 --> 0:06:08.800 and it wasn't about blowing up. It was just about 0:06:09.839 --> 0:06:12.920 writing and using that as therapy, which is so special, 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:15.000 and it just just goes to show like art can 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:17.800 speak alone for itself exactly, and that's what I've been 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:20.479 trying to, like not necessarily trying to replicate, but I 0:06:20.480 --> 0:06:23.640 don't want to ever like be like, oh and you 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:25.040 know their head and their head, I need to write 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:26.640 a hit, because that's not how I Hate You, I 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:31.960 Love You happened. Yeah, it's not how anything like you know. Yeah, 0:06:32.200 --> 0:06:33.800 I just want to you know, make stuff that I'm 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:36.400 proud of and that I like, and um, stay true 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:39.400 to myself, and that's more important to me than anything else. 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:43.200 What was your favorite experience playing so far, Like, have 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:45.800 you had a certain performance that's that as your mind 0:06:45.920 --> 0:06:49.520 is like your favorite. I think Lollapalooza was really special 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:53.400 because it was my first real show back after um 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:59.000 the Pandemic, and it was just incredible. There was so 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:01.240 so many more people than I thought would be there. 0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:05.040 It was really really hot and like kind of excruciating, 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:08.080 but it was really fun. So um yeah, that was 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:09.920 just like a great weekend. It was kind of like 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:13.560 my my introduction back into the world of performing and 0:07:13.600 --> 0:07:16.720 just festivals in general. Um, and it was it was 0:07:16.760 --> 0:07:20.120 really great and memorable. But I think all my performances 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:22.120 are special for different reasons, you know. Like it's kind 0:07:22.160 --> 0:07:24.400 of like asking me what my favorite song of mine is, 0:07:24.440 --> 0:07:27.160 Like I don't really have one, because like I like 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:29.320 them for all all for different reasons, you know. And 0:07:29.360 --> 0:07:31.600 also like each performance is a different audience and you 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:34.760 get like a different energy and I make a different mistake. 0:07:36.320 --> 0:07:38.239 What happens when you do and make a mistake on stage, 0:07:38.240 --> 0:07:42.120 because I cannot imagine do you just like embrace it 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:44.000 and then just go forward or do you just kind 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:46.720 of skip past it. I always I pretty much always 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:49.440 pointed out like I'm always like oh sorry, guys, or 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:52.080 like I just like I'm like fuck. I think people 0:07:52.120 --> 0:07:55.080 forget that everyone's human, and then when people funk up 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:57.280 on stage, it's like, yeah, they are. That needs to 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:00.480 think be celebrated more than anything else. I think I 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:03.640 try to make it a point to like show the 0:08:03.680 --> 0:08:07.080 fact that I am very imperfect whenever I can, because 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:11.760 I don't ever want anyone It's not just like, it's 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:14.320 kind of multiple things, like I don't want to have 0:08:14.400 --> 0:08:16.480 to uphold some perfect image that I know I'm never 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:19.600 gonna be. And I also, you know, want everyone to 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:22.080 know that nobody's perfect and they don't have to be perfect. 0:08:22.120 --> 0:08:23.600 E there. You know. It's kind of like a bunch 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:26.040 of different things. It's something that I love about performances. 0:08:26.080 --> 0:08:28.080 I don't know if you've ever seen Julie Michaels live, 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:32.199 but it was one of the best performances I've ever seen. 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:34.920 It's like when artists talk to the audience and just 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:36.880 have fun with it like you do, it makes you 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:38.880 feel like you have a connection with the people that 0:08:38.920 --> 0:08:41.320 are there, and it just makes you experience so much 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:44.040 more enjoyable. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to ever feel 0:08:44.040 --> 0:08:46.840 like I'm like a robot. And just like some people, 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:48.680 I feel like the only thing that they change in 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:52.800 their set at each city is like hello in different 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:55.240 city here, and like I always try I have like 0:08:55.640 --> 0:08:59.240 this this uh tour that I most recently just did, 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:02.480 I did my California shows in like week. But um, 0:09:02.520 --> 0:09:04.600 it's like the closest thing I've ever had to like 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:07.560 something kind of scripted, Like I have things that I say, 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:09.160 but I still kind of try to mix it up 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:11.720 a little bit because keep you on your toes. Yeah, 0:09:11.760 --> 0:09:14.160 because I I don't know, it's hard for me to 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:16.040 do the same thing every single night I want it 0:09:16.040 --> 0:09:17.880 gets boring and too Like I do want to make 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:19.559 it personal to whoever is there, Like I don't want 0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:22.560 every single person to get the exact same thing and 0:09:22.600 --> 0:09:24.760 they know exactly what they're getting and then it's not special, 0:09:24.800 --> 0:09:26.720 you know. And I know you've talked about like being 0:09:26.720 --> 0:09:30.160 in creative threats and all that, and they creative threats 0:09:30.559 --> 0:09:35.560 are so underratedly terrible and not discussed because enough because 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:37.400 a few months ago I was in a really bad 0:09:37.440 --> 0:09:40.640 creative right, probably the first one I've ever truly experienced. 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:42.760 And I look at YouTube videos like how to get 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:45.520 out of creative rent, and there is nothing. It happens 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:47.920 all the time. Um, sometimes I there's nothing I can 0:09:47.960 --> 0:09:50.040 really do to get out of it. I just kind 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.360 of cancel all my sessions and try to go live 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:53.880 my life. That's usually what I do is I just 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:57.160 try to experience things. I try to not work and 0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:00.440 not force myself to work sometimes if it's if it's 0:10:00.440 --> 0:10:02.280 been a really long time and I'm just kind of 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:04.960 used to like having writer's block. Like the other day 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:07.600 a couple weeks ago, I was like starting to write 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:10.240 by myself in my studio again, and I just forced 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:13.200 myself to write like eight songs. Um Like I would 0:10:13.200 --> 0:10:14.520 go in every single day and just like write a 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:16.880 little song by myself. Didn't ask me good, Yeah, don't 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:18.640 have to be good, just like as a little exercise. 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:20.520 Like so if you really are stuck and you know 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:22.679 you need to start being creative again, you just kind 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:25.160 of have to force yourself. And if it's bad, it's bad. 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:26.800 But once you get kind of back into the rhythm 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:29.679 of it, like it'll start feeling normal again and then 0:10:29.720 --> 0:10:32.480 you'll get more inspired. But for the most part, I 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:35.320 just like to go out and live my life and 0:10:35.360 --> 0:10:38.120 meet people and try to get inspiration from wherever I can, 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:41.079 because like that's that's just how it works for me. Look, 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:43.240 that's what your songs are. They're about your life. So 0:10:43.320 --> 0:10:45.560 the best way to be inspired is to live your life. 0:10:46.360 --> 0:10:49.400 What's your favorite part of songwriting. I like how it 0:10:49.559 --> 0:10:51.160 just kind of acts as a therapy for me and 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:53.800 I can say whatever I want, um, and a lot 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.520 of times, like I'll be too afraid to tell someone 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:59.240 something to their face, but I can always write a 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:02.760 song about it. That's awesome. What an awesome outlet to have. Great, 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:04.640 it's amazing, and it kind of it can help me 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:07.160 realize things. And it's also like every time I go 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:09.199 in and especially when I work with a top lener 0:11:09.200 --> 0:11:12.000 that I really love, like another writer, Um, it's like 0:11:12.040 --> 0:11:13.600 having therapy because I should tell them what we're going 0:11:13.640 --> 0:11:15.800 to write about, like to tell them about everything that's 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:18.320 been going on with my life, and I'll realize so 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:21.400 many things. Like my last session that I had, I 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:23.079 even told her, I was like, this feels like therapy 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:27.440 right now because we were going over just everything that 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:29.960 I've done in the past week and how I was 0:11:29.960 --> 0:11:32.640 getting over this guy and I realized like that and 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:34.719 she made me realize, like I'm that I don't love 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.520 this kid. Like it was like crazy. I was. I 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:39.920 was saying, They're like, wow, this is a very clarity, 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:42.920 very deep session we're having right now. But it was great. 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:46.120 It was awesome, so Um, yeah, I mean it's it's 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:49.400 also nice that I get to do this as a 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.480 job because it's something I would be doing regardless if 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:55.880 you weren't a singer or if you weren't an artist 0:11:55.880 --> 0:11:57.959 who was putting their music out there. What do you 0:11:57.960 --> 0:12:02.400 think you'd be doing, Um, I'll probably be either a 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:06.480 lawyer or a psychologist. Like being interested in psychology has 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:08.040 helped me with my song writing a law because it's 0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:10.120 like analyze people and it makes me like think deeper 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.080 about what I'm writing, about what I want to say, 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:13.920 and how I feel about other people and how they 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:15.920 feel about me, and it gives me more concepts and 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:20.120 it's cool. I think that's so interesting. Something that we 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:22.480 actually have in common is that I also have O 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:26.680 c D and struggle with anxiety. And when I heard 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:28.920 you talking about it, I was like, Man, more people 0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:31.240 should talk about it because I feel like there's such 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:33.760 a stereotype like if you have O c D, like 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:37.480 you just like to have everything clean and organize. It's like, no, 0:12:37.840 --> 0:12:40.400 it's different for everybody. For me, it's like I never 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:43.120 even would have thought that I possibly could have O 0:12:43.200 --> 0:12:47.000 c D until I got diagnosed. Because people are so 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:50.080 wrong about what it is and it can be. Yes, 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:51.920 some people with o c D love to have everything 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:53.680 clean and a lot of time, but it's not. Yeah, 0:12:53.720 --> 0:12:55.160 and like, especially if you have like O c D 0:12:55.240 --> 0:12:57.840 and a d h D, like that's so hard because 0:12:58.360 --> 0:13:02.280 you don't have the eni span to like clean and 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:05.000 make your life perfect. But then it piss you off 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:06.760 that it's not perfect, but then you can't fix it 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:09.439 because it's so distracted and you're doing it all these days. 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:12.520 I don't know, it's just like, yeah, anxiety disorders are 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:16.719 really so annoying. Yeah, and they're also really complex, Like 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:20.000 I think they all are very similar, but then they're different. 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:22.559 So it's like and everyone reacts to it differently, everyone 0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:27.040 perceives differently exactly. My sister has OCD two, so it's 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:29.560 like and we both just got diagnosed. And it's crazy 0:13:29.600 --> 0:13:32.800 because I've been going to therapy and seeing psychiatrists since 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:35.040 I was a kid, so like I should have been 0:13:35.720 --> 0:13:38.319 but they were just like we were depressed, you anxiety whatever, whatever. 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:41.480 And then it took a long time with me actually explaining. 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:43.240 And then I also started talking to my friends about 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:45.880 like you know, intrusive thoughts and random things and I'm like, 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:47.280 did this happen to you guys? And they're like no. 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:52.320 And I always thought that that happened until I started 0:13:52.320 --> 0:13:54.640 actually asking people about it. I hate it therapy for 0:13:54.640 --> 0:13:56.440 a while because my my mom like kind of forced 0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:57.640 me to be in therapy. I would think I was 0:13:57.640 --> 0:14:00.360 around eight two was when my parents were separated. My 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:01.960 mom was like, I need to put them in therapy. 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:05.199 My mom like loves therapy and she's the biggest advocate 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:08.559 for therapy. But you got to be ready to do. Yeah, 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:10.679 if you don't want to go, you're not going to 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:13.560 get anything out of therapy if someone's forcing you to go. 0:14:13.840 --> 0:14:15.400 Like I would sit there and I wouldn't talk because 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.160 I didn't know. I didn't want to talk. I didn't 0:14:17.200 --> 0:14:19.400 know what I wanted to say. I didn't know why 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:21.360 I was even there. Like it was, it was just 0:14:21.800 --> 0:14:24.360 not beneficial to me at all. It was wasting an 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:26.400 hour of my week every week. It took me a 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:31.720 while of realizing like, Okay, I actually want to go 0:14:31.760 --> 0:14:34.840 to therapy and I want to help myself. This is 0:14:34.840 --> 0:14:36.160 the first time in my life that has actually been 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.520 beneficial to me. Because I decided that I wanted to 0:14:38.560 --> 0:14:41.440 go and I made the active decision, and that's when 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:44.200 I got my diagnosis and when everything started to make 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:46.200 sense and I got a medication, and now I'm doing 0:14:46.240 --> 0:14:48.600 so much better because I wanted to do better. You know, 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:52.720 there's something very special. I know special is an interesting 0:14:52.720 --> 0:14:54.520 word to is, but I'm going to use it anyways. 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:58.440 About when you get diagnosed, everything, at least for me, 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:02.800 it just clicks. I've just went through so many life 0:15:02.800 --> 0:15:05.680 experiences and it all made sense. You go home and 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:07.880 google literally everything about it, and you're like, does this 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:09.520 have to do with my O c D? And you're like, 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:13.000 oh my god, and it makes you feel less alone. 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:15.480 But you've got to be ready for it. But I 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:17.280 think one of the things that I've learned for me 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:19.360 at least is that I wouldn't be who I am 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.080 if I don't have anxiety. If I don't have O 0:15:22.160 --> 0:15:23.760 c D, it wouldn't have I wouldn't be talking to 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:26.320 you right now, frankly. And I think I'm trying to 0:15:26.360 --> 0:15:29.040 find the good parts in it and then what sucks? 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:32.000 It's making me who I am? Yeah, and I think 0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:35.040 it makes I think having an anxiety disorder like makes 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:38.200 you a little bit more of a complex thinker because 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:42.720 you're always thinking about literally everything, and I know that's 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:45.600 such a like it sucks and there there's no I'm 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:47.800 just relating to you right now. I'm just trying to 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:50.920 find a solverligning is like it's like, okay, well, I 0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:52.800 still don't want an anxiety disorders because it makes me 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:55.760 a deep thinker. But like it's a nice, cool little 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:59.760 side of it, like you know what different integay, Yeah, 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:01.640 and and I agree it's I mean, but that's with 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:03.680 everything in life you're you wouldn't be who you are 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:06.920 without every single part of you, and it all, it 0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:09.240 all makes up the big picture, right, So yeah, I 0:16:09.480 --> 0:16:11.920 like to look at I like to look at it 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:14.400 that way as well. Okay, we have to take a 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:16.200 quick break, but when we come back, I want to 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:19.040 talk more about your music, tour and so much more. 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:29.440 We'll be right back and we're back. I will say. 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:31.360 One thing I love about your projects and you as 0:16:31.400 --> 0:16:35.800 an artist is that you're so versatile. Like Seasons episode one, 0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:39.600 it just shows the difference in the styles you like, 0:16:40.040 --> 0:16:43.000 and that's so incredible in itself. I like a lot 0:16:43.040 --> 0:16:45.440 of different things. I like a lot of different genres 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:48.800 of music and also different TV shows. I'll go through 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:50.760 phases where I'm super into a certain kind of music 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:55.120 or certain show. Yeah, but but then I think, and 0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:57.160 then when I move on from that, or like I'll 0:16:57.160 --> 0:17:00.360 start dressing differently, But I still like how of all 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.280 the other parts of me and the other phases within 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:04.880 my personality and within who I am. So I feel 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:06.400 like I can kind of be everything all at once, 0:17:06.440 --> 0:17:08.080 and I don't ever want to put myself into a 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:10.199 box of like, oh, I have to make songs at 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:11.680 all sound like this because this is what people want 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:14.400 from me, or oh I can only have this aesthetic 0:17:14.440 --> 0:17:16.919 because everyone thinks that this is my thing. Like, no, 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:19.440 you can literally if you like the whole The most 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:21.640 beautiful part about living in the time that we live 0:17:21.640 --> 0:17:25.359 in is you can be and do anything that pretty 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:27.399 much anything that you want now hear me at But 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:29.480 I think it would be so cool if one of 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:32.119 the songs he wrote on Seasons was actually put in 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:35.840 a TV show. That would be that would be pretty cool. Yeah, 0:17:35.880 --> 0:17:40.719 that would be pretty cool. When is season two coming out? Um? Seasons? Um, 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:44.560 That's a great question. I don't know. So basically what 0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:47.640 happened right now is um or what's happening right now 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:50.959 is that are my labels in like a very transitional period. 0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:54.800 We are president left and basically like everyone that I've 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:58.439 worked with on on the team at my label is gone. 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:02.439 They've either and laid off or quit and move like 0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:05.960 went to another years stock. Yeah, not the best, and 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:08.080 it's happened. This is like the this will be the 0:18:08.119 --> 0:18:12.960 third president that I've had at my label, so five 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:18.119 five years, six years almost. Um, that's frustrating. Yeah, it's 0:18:18.160 --> 0:18:23.160 a little frustrating. But um, the new presidents, there's gonna 0:18:23.160 --> 0:18:25.080 be two of them that are working together, and they 0:18:25.080 --> 0:18:28.720 start on January one, so after that I'll be able 0:18:28.760 --> 0:18:31.440 to you know, kind of regroup with them and um 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:35.280 hopefully put something out. The plan originally was like I'm 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:38.440 gonna put out UM season one and then season two 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:41.680 is going to come really shortly after. It was really 0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:44.280 really frustrating at first because all I wanted to do 0:18:44.320 --> 0:18:47.000 was put it out. I've had these songs for literally years, 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:50.879