WEBVTT - #163 Granger Smith’s advice on dealing with miscarriage & loosing faith in God 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:06.520 Brett. I am so so sorry about this. There's only 0:00:06.600 --> 0:00:10.000 one word. I don't like you use the word accident. 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:15.400 But if you say you and your wife are both 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:17.680 God fearing Christians and love the Lord, which I believe 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:21.480 that you do, and you trust God to carry through 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:26.160 and align your past to his will, which I believe, 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:29.840 you're sincere saying that if you believe all that, then 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:43.920 there is no accidents. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:46.839 the podcast. This is episode one sixty three. Thanks for 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:50.400 watching and listening wherever you're coming from or whatever platform 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:54.280 you're using. This podcast is available free all over wherever 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:56.560 you love to hear podcasts, and I love doing it, 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:58.560 so thank you for being here. This is where I 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:02.040 answer your questions. You email me anything you want to 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:04.480 talk about, and we're going to talk about it with 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:07.399 me not having notes and not preparing and not having 0:01:07.400 --> 0:01:09.000 a bunch of stuff sitting around and I'm going to 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:11.440 read and figure out how to do it so with 0:01:11.520 --> 0:01:15.560 some psychological solution. That's not what this is. This is 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:18.000 like me and you are friends and we're driving in 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:19.400 the cab of the truck and you're like, hey man, 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:21.200 there's something's been going on in my life. I would 0:01:21.240 --> 0:01:23.440 love to run this by you. What do you think? 0:01:23.440 --> 0:01:25.760 And I'm going to answer back with something that I 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:28.760 would give to a friend, and I would hope that 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:31.400 someone would return the favor. If I have a question, 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:35.640 and I usually do so, you could email your question 0:01:35.800 --> 0:01:39.679 granger Smith Podcast at gmail dot com. Send it to 0:01:39.760 --> 0:01:43.600 Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com, and I'm going to 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:45.800 get to the first one. The subject line here says 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:50.000 faith and the email says, Hi, I enjoy your videos. 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:53.040 I watched them all the time. I'm writing because I 0:01:53.040 --> 0:01:56.600 feel like I'm losing my faith in God. My sister 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:59.440 needs a hip replacement and the doctor's not doing anything. 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:02.440 I'm also having health problems and I feel like God 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:06.080 is not healing us. I have blood cancer and I've 0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:09.520 been having problems with my knee after knee replacement surgery 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:13.400 three years ago. I've been told nothing is wrong, but 0:02:13.520 --> 0:02:16.760 these doctors that tell me this aren't having the problems. 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:21.959 I am sorry I've bothered you. Maria. Yeah, Maria, thank 0:02:22.000 --> 0:02:26.959 you for emailing. I appreciate you open it up with something. 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:29.720 You know that this is this is a vulnerable subject 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:32.639 for you, so I appreciate you opening up and I'm 0:02:32.639 --> 0:02:35.040 gonna give you some tough love. I love giving tough 0:02:35.080 --> 0:02:38.520 love because I think that that's very important that I 0:02:38.560 --> 0:02:40.840 shoot you straight if I just coddle you guys, and 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:46.359 I'm just like, oh, Maria, I'm so sorry. You know, God, God, 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:49.920 here's you, and He's just coming. God's on the way, 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:54.120 you know. Church. A lot of churches teach this every Sunday, 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:59.280 and it man, I got to go easy with what 0:02:59.320 --> 0:03:04.320 I say here, but churches will teach God's on the way. 0:03:04.639 --> 0:03:06.800 You just stay right where you are, just wallow in 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:10.600 the mud, and God is God's coming. It's like it's 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:13.840 like God is on an airplane and the plane's delayed 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:17.160 and he made it to his connection flight, but you 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.960 know they're having engine problems. But he's coming. He's got 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:23.280 the ticket and he always gets to his destination. Just 0:03:23.280 --> 0:03:27.880 sometimes he's late. Like they don't say that exactly in churches, 0:03:27.919 --> 0:03:31.800 but there's this idea that you just you just stay 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.120 on the ground and you just wallow around in the 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:37.760 mud and you just keep praying and God's going to 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:40.840 come and pull you out of the mud and you 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:46.040 just lay you just lay there, and and if he doesn't, 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:48.840 then you you end up like Maria, and you say, no, 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:52.400 I'm losing my faith, like maybe there isn't a God 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:55.960 at all. That's kind of Maria, that's kind of what 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:57.480 you're saying, right, Like if we were sitting in the 0:03:57.480 --> 0:03:59.520 cabin of the truck, you'd say, if I was going 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:02.000 to dig into you think you're losing your faith. What 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:05.880 you mean by that is, I think I'm I think 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:12.840 I'm doubting that God exists. Right, So let's dive into that. 0:04:13.400 --> 0:04:17.919 Let's dive in if that's true at all? Could could 0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:20.200 God be on a delayed plane and he's coming to 0:04:20.200 --> 0:04:23.480 get you? Well, let me tell you this. God could 0:04:23.480 --> 0:04:27.560 do anything. But we see when we read the Bible, 0:04:27.839 --> 0:04:30.440 which is our revealed God's word to us. That's how 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:33.520 we know what God is saying to us in twenty 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:37.280 twenty two is through the Bible. And so when we 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:41.120 go through there and we see hundreds of examples of 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:47.520 God encountering humans in some way, right, whether it's through 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:51.800 a judge or a king, or an apostle or a prophet, 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:57.160 or just a man or just a woman. God's call 0:04:57.279 --> 0:05:01.159 is always a call up, a call forward, a call 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:05.400 that says stand up, dress for action. Like a man. 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:09.719 Let's go follow me, if you, if we, if we 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:12.520 notice the hundreds and hundreds of commands in the Bible. 0:05:12.720 --> 0:05:16.960 It's always a call to action. It's a call to come, come, follow, 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:23.359 do something. Activate. It's never Hey, I see you're laying 0:05:23.400 --> 0:05:27.880 there and you're you've got all these problems and I'm 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:31.080 just gonna rescue you from the problems and make them 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:34.400 all go away. That doesn't happen if you think that 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:39.160 you're you're worshiping a different God, and if you're worshiping 0:05:39.160 --> 0:05:44.080 a different God than that God doesn't exist. Or let 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:47.039 me put this another way. Or Maria, you're looking at 0:05:47.120 --> 0:05:50.279 God as a genie in a bottle and you you 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:52.560 rub on the lamp and you get three wishes, and 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:55.000 God pops up and you say, I got three wishes. 0:05:55.360 --> 0:06:00.640 I want my knee, my my sister's hip replacement to 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:06.760 be better, I need my blood cancer to be fine. 0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:09.960 And I'm also, oh, yeah, God, my third one is 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:12.880 this knee replacement surgery three years ago is not doing 0:06:12.920 --> 0:06:15.840 too well? How need you to fix that too? And 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:17.640 so then God fixes it and then jumps back into 0:06:17.680 --> 0:06:21.960 the bottle and disappears nowhere in the Bible do we 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:27.480 see anything like this? Can God heal yes? Do we 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:31.479 pray for healing? Yes? But Maria, what are you doing? 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:35.440 Are you just asking the genie? Are you in your word? 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:39.560 Are you praying? What's your part in this besides laying 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:43.839 in the mud wallowing? Let me tell you something tough, love, Maria, 0:06:44.800 --> 0:06:46.640 I'm so glad you listened to this podcast, and we 0:06:46.720 --> 0:06:49.640 got to think, as you're listening right now, you have 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:52.520 to consider because I'm sure these words are gonna be 0:06:52.600 --> 0:06:54.800 hurtful to you in a way, but you have to 0:06:54.839 --> 0:06:58.240 consider that maybe, just maybe you're supposed to be hearing 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:02.400 this from somebody, right. Okay, So go with me down 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:04.400 this path for a second and listen to what you 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:10.120 told me. Everything's wrong, everything's going wrong. Well, life has problems. 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:13.000 We are stuck in a world that is broken, that 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:16.480 has fallen, and we have tribulation. We have problems daily. 0:07:16.800 --> 0:07:20.320 In fact, the more we look, the more we find them. Now, 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:23.160 you can't control that what's coming at you, these kind 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:27.000 of problems, But what you can control is how you 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:31.720 react to them. It sounds like what you're saying is 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:35.520 through this whole thing, is that you really just want 0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:39.960 to be the victim, the victim of so many problems. 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:46.440 Your sister's hip replacement is not doing anything, your health 0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:51.080 is just failing. These doctors are idiots. The doctors are idiots. 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:54.800 They you are having problems with your knee replacement surgery 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:59.160 and they say nothing's wrong. What do they know? They're 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:02.400 not living through this pain, what do they know? Well, 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:04.640 I mean, they did go to medical school for a 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:11.680 lot of years. Are they just fraudulent? It sounds like 0:08:11.680 --> 0:08:15.440 you just want to be a victim, and Maria, I'm 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:18.360 here to tell you on this podcast to stand up, 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:24.840 to stand up and move forward. You're asking for a 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:28.280 genie in the bottle and God's going I'll wait to 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:32.520 you stand up. I'll wait. You think you're losing your faith? 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:34.440 What are you doing with your faith? I've told so 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:37.280 many people on this podcast. Faith is a verb. It's 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:40.640 not a noun, as if you could lose it, like 0:08:40.679 --> 0:08:44.080 it's like it's tangible in your hand, like a bag 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:47.080 of marbles, and you lost your bag of marbles. Where 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:50.400 to go? I don't know where I put it. I've 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:52.959 slipped away and just now they're just going down the drain. 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:59.440 As if faith is like that. Faith is instead a 0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:03.880 verb action. It's something you put in the work every day. Now, 0:09:03.920 --> 0:09:07.160 you don't ever work to please God. You don't ever 0:09:07.280 --> 0:09:11.040 work to gain favor with God. You don't ever work 0:09:11.160 --> 0:09:14.040 for your salvation. That is clear. We are saved by 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:19.319 grace through faith. But works, good works are a direct 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.440 result of the faith. That's why James says in James 0:09:22.440 --> 0:09:25.920 two that faith without works is dead. What he means is, 0:09:26.480 --> 0:09:30.680 if you don't have good works, then how do you 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:34.200 know that you have a saving faith that results in 0:09:34.280 --> 0:09:38.160 those works. It's a good indicator if you've got nothing 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:39.800 going on, you're just laying in the mud. You're like, 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:42.760 I think my faith is dead. Well maybe it is. 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:45.839 You know why, because you have zero to show for it. 0:09:46.800 --> 0:09:49.680 So what do you do? Get in the word? You 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:52.520 get on your knees, You go God, God. I've been 0:09:52.520 --> 0:09:55.520 praying for healing, but I have never said anything that 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:59.200 I'm thankful for God. I have breath today. I'm so 0:09:59.320 --> 0:10:02.320 thankful for this breath. I ate a meal today. There's 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:04.560 people on this earth that don't get a meal. I 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:08.080 just ate a meal. I just drank clean water. You 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:11.200 know how many people on this earth right now would 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:14.000 love just a glass of clean water and you just 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:17.240 got it out of your faucet. Maria, have you ever 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:20.880 told God that, God, thank you for this water, this gift. 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:25.440 Thank you for this clean air that I'm breathing. Thank 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:31.400 you for this meal. God, you are holy, God, You're almighty. God. 0:10:31.440 --> 0:10:36.720 You woke me up this morning. I still have my sister. God, 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:39.880 I love my sister. Thank you for my sister. Thank 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:42.920 you for these doctors that are diligently working for me 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:46.200 and my sister, trying to find cures for us. Thank 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:49.280 you for the schooling that they have gone through so 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:53.000 that I could be healed in some way, shape or 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:58.880 form it someday. God, you have done all this for me, 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:02.240 and I'm so grateful and I'm going to dive into 0:11:02.240 --> 0:11:05.200 your word. I'm going to learn more about you. Oh 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:08.960 by the way, God, some healing on this knee would 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:12.480 be great, But if you don't. If you don't heal 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:15.240 this knee, then let me see what you're trying to 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:18.720 show me through this pain. Open my eyes to what 0:11:18.760 --> 0:11:22.079 this kind of this kind of tribulation, what this adversity 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:25.480 is doing to make me stronger for you. Let me 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:31.040 see that God, you see what I mean. Maria, there's 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:34.680 a difference, right, instead of yeah, I don't honest, I 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:36.440 asked God to heal. He didn't heal. With that, I 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:41.319 just think he doesn't exist. Sounds like you're a victim. 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:44.280 What a way to start. I got a way off 0:11:44.320 --> 0:11:46.040 on that one. Guys, I'm sorry. Let me just come 0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:49.040 and jump into the next one. No septic, come the 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:51.000 next one, says Hey, Graandard like to stay anonymous here. 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:54.640 I'm fourteen, living in a small town in California. I'm 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:57.000 not allowed to date, but I have a friend who 0:11:57.080 --> 0:12:00.080 I have a crush on. We don't really talk, and 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:03.280 I know that she recently went through a breakup, and 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:05.040 I'm not sure if I should try to avoid her 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:07.280 without being rude, or if I should try to get 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:09.839 a little bit closer to her or just leave it. 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:13.280 I'm not allowed to have girls' phone numbers for the 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:15.920 next year or so, but I don't know how to 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:19.840 handle these feelings. The way I feel about her isn't 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:23.040 from the way she looks, but I've seen some from 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:26.240 her personality. She's very kind, but I'm not allowed to 0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:29.200 date until I move out. If you could give me 0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:32.599 some advice would be awesome. God bless Hey, anonymous to 0:12:32.640 --> 0:12:36.680 fourteen in California, thank you for emailing, And Hey, I 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:38.440 think that's really cool. I think you have some great 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:44.760 parents that are your parents, legitimately love you and they 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.160 want to protect you, and they want to prepare you 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.240 for the world. And I think if they're telling you 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:52.760 not to date, I think that that's a legitimate rule 0:12:52.760 --> 0:12:54.839 in your house that you should follow. And it sounds 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:59.720 like you are, So kudos to that, buddy, and I'm 0:12:59.760 --> 0:13:02.240 happy that you're listening to the podcast. I think you're 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:05.000 probably a great kid from what I get from this email. 0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:08.640 And so that leads to a pretty decent question. You know, 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.120 my parents said I can't date, but I have a 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:13.000 crush on a girl. So how do I do it? 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:14.800 What do I do with this? Like where do we 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:17.839 go from here? It's a great question because what you 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:21.560 can't suppress your feelings. You can't say I don't have 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:23.720 a crush on her, and like some kind of mind 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:25.840 jedi mind tricks going to make it just go away. 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:29.520 And at the same time, I want to address something 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:32.200 you asked here. You said, should I just try to 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:35.200 avoid her without being rude? No, I don't think that's 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:39.560 the answer. I think you know what, I think. I 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:43.240 think this is a great conversation to have with your 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:46.959 mom and dad. I think it's like, hey, mom and Dad, 0:13:48.280 --> 0:13:50.120 you told me I can't date till I move out. 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:53.480 I respect the house rules, and I understand that you 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:56.200 make these kind of rules because you love me. I 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:58.840 have a crush on this girl. Can you guys give 0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:01.360 me some advice on what to do with this because 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:03.920 I really like her and it's not based all on 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:05.440 look of course, it's got to be a little bit 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.520 on looks, buddy, but it's not based on looks. She 0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:12.760 has a great, sweet personality. Mom and Dad, where do 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:17.000 we go from here? And it could so then they're like, well, 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:24.200 how about we take we have some escorted group times, 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:27.600 set the movies, or we go to eat dinner with 0:14:27.880 --> 0:14:31.640 your friends and her friends and me and your mom. 0:14:32.920 --> 0:14:35.560 But maybe there's some kind of compromise in there. I 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:37.920 don't think the compromise is just a void her like 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:40.920 that's that probably could lead to bad things. In fact, 0:14:40.920 --> 0:14:43.280 I wouldn't do that, because you could. If you suppress 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:46.160 it too much, you might just go crazy. And I 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:49.280 think it's also it's as embarrassing as it might be 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:52.360 it's a conversation you have with her. It's like, Hey, 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:55.400 I'm really embarrassed to say this, but I really like 0:14:55.480 --> 0:14:57.720 you and I don't know what to do with it 0:14:58.040 --> 0:15:01.400 because I'm not allowed to date. But maybe we could 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:05.600 just talk and see where this goes, and maybe in 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:09.400 a few years we could date. I mean, I just 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:13.080 think being vulnerable and being honest like this is a 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:17.280 good bet. It's a good safe bet, and it puts 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:21.040 honesty out on the table, It puts integrity forefront, and 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:25.640 you just you have these kind of open conversations instead 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:28.320 of kind of disappear and she's like, man, what happened 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:31.680 to my friend? He just gone? He just disappeared. And 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:35.280 then in a few years you're back all excited. So yeah, 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:42.920 I have these conversations and have them soon. Next question, 0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:45.760 Subdecline says tragedy and feeling lost. Hey, grand your my 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:49.400 name is Chad, thirty six years old. I'm from southern Ohio. First, 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:51.480 I want to say I've only been listening for a week, 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:53.520 but I love the podcast. I started back on your 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:56.520 one hundredth episode and I've been listening as often as 0:15:56.520 --> 0:15:59.840 I can. Recently, through a friend, I was introduced to 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:02.360 a woman, and we instantly connected. This is a woman 0:16:02.360 --> 0:16:06.400 of God that I've been praying for my entire life. 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:10.080 On October eighteenth, she was tragically passed away in a 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:14.520 car accident, one week before her thirty first birthday. Because 0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:16.320 we lived two hours apart, we didn't get to have 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:20.240 a first date because of scheduling issues. But we would 0:16:20.240 --> 0:16:22.920 talk on the phone for hours and hours. I'm talking 0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:25.760 five or six hours a night, and those conversations were 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:28.720 primarily a Bible study that the two of us were 0:16:28.760 --> 0:16:31.480 doing together. We would use the Bible app and read 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.240 through various books and discuss them with each other. We 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:37.640 were having the normal conversations and learning about each other, 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:40.200 but a huge part of our relationship was centered around God. 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:44.360 I fell in love with her instantly. Through conversations with 0:16:44.400 --> 0:16:46.360 our mutual friend, I found out that we were on 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:48.280 the same page with how we felt about each other 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:51.440 and that we were the answer to each other's prayers. 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:54.600 She loved Jesus so much and had a fire and 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:56.960 her to serve others and spread the love of God 0:16:57.000 --> 0:16:59.920 to everyone. She was the love of my life. I 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:03.240 couldn't wait to serve God with her hand in hand. 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:07.040 What I'm really struggling with is how do I heal 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:09.760 from this? I know that she would want me to 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:12.520 continue to lean into God, but I cannot see where 0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:16.320 this plan is having her work. Where the plan is 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:21.879 having her leave so many loved ones behind and taking 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:26.320 her while she was actively recruiting more followers for God. 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:29.359 She leaves behind a seven year old daughter, and this 0:17:29.440 --> 0:17:33.080 added another level of anger for me. She was a 0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:35.679 warrior for God, and I feel so upset that she 0:17:35.720 --> 0:17:38.520 didn't get to have the marriage, more kids, and the 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:41.199 family that she desired so much. She went through a 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:44.679 lot of pain and abuse and past relationships, and she 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:49.240 deserved to be loved unconditionally. I am angry, but I 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:52.439 am not blaming God. How do I heal from losing 0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:54.720 the love of my life before we could make any 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:57.760 lasting memories together? Thank you for any advice you can give. 0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:04.159 God has loved Chad all right, Chad Man, I'm so sorry. 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:08.280 That is a that is a tough, tough situation, and 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:11.520 I'm sure you were just devastated, and I'm sure your 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:13.959 heart broken, and I'm sure you lay in bed at 0:18:14.000 --> 0:18:16.680 night and think about her and what could have been. 0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:19.600 And I think there's probably a feeling that you have 0:18:20.320 --> 0:18:21.560 that you you know, you kind of go to the 0:18:21.560 --> 0:18:25.600 funeral and to everyone, to everyone at the funeral, you're 0:18:25.640 --> 0:18:30.320 just another face mourning this girl. But only you know 0:18:30.480 --> 0:18:32.640 deep down that you were way more than just that. 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:35.160 You're more than just a phase like you you were 0:18:35.160 --> 0:18:38.000 going to marry this girl, and you you kind of 0:18:38.000 --> 0:18:40.080 want to shout from the rooftops to everyone, like this 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.160 girl loved me and I loved her. I loved her, 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.439 but we have nothing to prove physically for it on 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:47.960 this earth. I'm sure that's kind of part of it, 0:18:48.040 --> 0:18:51.520 right that you there was no declaration to the world 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:56.480 about this girl, and so I have sympathy for you. 0:18:56.840 --> 0:19:01.240 And it's a tough situation. But I want to dig 0:19:01.240 --> 0:19:03.520 in a little bit, okay, because that's what we do 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:07.240 on this podcast. And if you email me, you kind 0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:10.280 of expect I'm gonna take and I'm gonna dig and 0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.359 I'm gonna twist a little bit. Okay. Now here's the thing. 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:16.840 Here's the thing you signed off. God is love, which 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:22.200 he is, but that's not his only attribute. He's also merciful, 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:27.480 he's also just, he's also all knowing. He's also forgiving. 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:34.879 He's also Holy. Those are just a fraction of his attributes, 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:38.960 but Holy really encompasses a lot meaning Almighty in the 0:19:39.000 --> 0:19:43.920 beginning in the end, he is everything, all planning, all knowing, 0:19:44.040 --> 0:19:48.640 all preparing. There is nothing that slips past him. There's 0:19:48.640 --> 0:19:50.879 nothing that he doesn't know. There's nothing that he doesn't 0:19:50.880 --> 0:19:54.640 work for good. There's nothing that he doesn't work for love, 0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:58.159 not in a way we define good, not in a 0:19:58.200 --> 0:20:02.840 way that we define love. Right, he defines it. He 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:05.760 is it. So then we define our good and our 0:20:05.800 --> 0:20:11.000 love based on his glory. Now that's hard to totally understand, 0:20:11.440 --> 0:20:13.480 but it puts us on a track where we know 0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:15.520 I don't get to define love, I don't get to 0:20:15.520 --> 0:20:19.320 define good. And that's how that's the lens we look 0:20:19.440 --> 0:20:21.919 to the world with. We define it the way the 0:20:21.920 --> 0:20:26.240 Bible does. So here's where I want to dig on you. 0:20:25.960 --> 0:20:30.000 You're speaking, you're speaking in terms first of all that 0:20:30.160 --> 0:20:32.639 sounds like God didn't know this was going to happen, 0:20:33.560 --> 0:20:36.560 or God planned it and it wasn't right, and you 0:20:36.640 --> 0:20:40.560 can't see how it was right. You're also looking at it, 0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:42.640 and I see this so many times in these emails. 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:46.400 You're looking at life through a lens that our earthly 0:20:47.119 --> 0:20:52.879 presence is who we are, and it's not true if 0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:56.040 you're a believer. Well, no matter who you are, and 0:20:56.080 --> 0:20:58.680 let me put it that way. This life we live 0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:01.800 on Earth, in this flesh, and this body is a 0:21:02.080 --> 0:21:07.679 tiny blip, a tiny breath, a tiny vapor compared to 0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:10.520 our eternal life that we're going to have after this. 0:21:11.160 --> 0:21:13.000 Now we go to one or two locations after this, 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:17.760 but we all have eternal life. So you're looking at 0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:21.560 this as as though she had everything to do on 0:21:21.640 --> 0:21:25.280 this planet Earth in her lifetime and now that's just ruined, 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:30.159 as if she didn't go home. That's what that's the 0:21:30.160 --> 0:21:33.000 whole thing you missed in this email is that she 0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:39.520 went home like you said. You said she was a 0:21:39.600 --> 0:21:43.240 warrior for God, and I feel upset that she didn't 0:21:43.280 --> 0:21:46.680 get to have the marriage, more kids in the family 0:21:46.720 --> 0:21:49.680 that she desired. She went through a lot of pain 0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:51.919 and abuse and past relationships, and she deserved to be 0:21:52.040 --> 0:21:56.920 loved unconditionally. What you didn't say was but now she's home. 0:21:58.240 --> 0:22:06.159 She's home. None of that matters at all. Mission accomplished, 0:22:06.520 --> 0:22:10.560 race finished, She is with her Creator, she is with 0:22:11.040 --> 0:22:13.560 the Lord. If she was a believer, she is home. 0:22:15.119 --> 0:22:19.960 There is nothing bothering her. There is no regrets, there 0:22:20.040 --> 0:22:24.720 is no problems, there is no no position that she 0:22:24.840 --> 0:22:28.320 missed out on at all. Like if she's home, she 0:22:28.720 --> 0:22:32.520 was here briefly and now she is home. That's that's 0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:35.560 you miss that in your whole email. Okay, So that's 0:22:35.720 --> 0:22:38.960 that's that. That's her. Okay, Now we shift to you. 0:22:41.280 --> 0:22:43.159 Let's talk about you for a second. You're looking at 0:22:43.160 --> 0:22:47.359 this whole situation as if now I'm putting words to this, 0:22:47.440 --> 0:22:50.720 but you're looking at it as if she was the 0:22:50.760 --> 0:22:54.120 perfect girl for you that God planned and then God 0:22:54.200 --> 0:22:56.800 messed it up. What in the world did he do 0:22:56.840 --> 0:23:00.879 that for? He set you up with this perfect girl 0:23:01.200 --> 0:23:04.919 that was supposed to be the love of your life, 0:23:05.080 --> 0:23:08.760 and then this happened. What a wreck, what a mess, 0:23:08.840 --> 0:23:14.280 what an accident? And that's not what happened. Why how 0:23:14.280 --> 0:23:17.159 do I know that? Well, the Bible says God is 0:23:17.160 --> 0:23:21.200 all knowing, all planning, all purposeful, You sovereign over everything. 0:23:22.359 --> 0:23:26.080 So let me just say this lightly to you out 0:23:26.080 --> 0:23:32.560 of love. She was not the love of your life. 0:23:33.520 --> 0:23:37.879 How would I possibly know that because she's gone because 0:23:37.920 --> 0:23:42.919 you didn't marry her. So the reality of that tells 0:23:42.920 --> 0:23:46.960 me the reality of what your future is. There's somebody else. 0:23:47.760 --> 0:23:52.440 There is somebody else for you that could be blowing 0:23:52.480 --> 0:23:54.320 your mind right now if you've never thought about it. 0:23:54.359 --> 0:23:58.160