1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: I don't world understead. Would you believe it's not my 2 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: sillion pieces? Would you do? Bas? 3 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,920 Speaker 2: Oh? Oh look at this? 4 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 3: Mm who is it? It's us again with the minisode. 5 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,279 Speaker 3: Hi Scottie, Hey Kurt, what's up? 6 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 4: Man? We're gonna do minisod your stories on bananas. The 7 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 4: silliest little podcast server was. I'm sitting here. I'm just 8 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,640 Speaker 4: having a great afternoon. It's ninety degrees and sunny and 9 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,320 Speaker 4: beautiful Los Angeles, Califuns. 10 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 3: You don't have air conditioning. I wonder what would Why 11 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 3: don't you buy a unit, an AC unit? 12 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 2: I don't know. Okay, I think I have that new office. 13 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,240 Speaker 4: I have a new office in loft space, and that 14 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,480 Speaker 4: is fully hvaced in every way, so I have it 15 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 4: whenever I'm writing during the day, I have it pumping 16 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:17,040 Speaker 4: like sixty eight degrees. Wheem she used to it. It 17 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 4: opens up everything screened in the in the little cabin. 18 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 4: So I just, you know, I keep it easy, breezy man. 19 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:22,720 Speaker 4: That's my whole thing. 20 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 2: All right. 21 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. 22 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 2: And you don't sweat. That's what I appreciate about you. Yeah, 23 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,679 Speaker 2: I mean I swell. 24 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 1: I sweat all the time. 25 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 2: Not a big sweater. 26 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:32,479 Speaker 4: I once had an next girlfriend that got mad at 27 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 4: me because my feet didn't smell and I didn't sweat, 28 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 4: And I think she was implying that her feet did 29 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 4: smell and that she sweats a lot. And she used 30 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 4: to be like she would get outraged by it. I'm like, 31 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,360 Speaker 4: I'm pretty sure these are positive traits. 32 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think. 33 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 4: I think this is a sign of a bigger problem 34 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 4: in the relationship if you're mad at me about not 35 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,440 Speaker 4: having two knocks again. 36 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 1: Anyway, did I ever tell you this story? 37 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 3: It was I because it was like I always had 38 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:03,080 Speaker 3: an interview you to direct, and I'm not a director, 39 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 3: you know, I made good At some point in the future, 40 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 3: I would be. But I had directed these these web series, 41 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:13,359 Speaker 3: this web series back in the day. I was probably 42 00:02:13,440 --> 00:02:16,840 Speaker 3: twenty nine or so, and I got brought in because 43 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 3: of these web series. Got brought in to interview to 44 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,080 Speaker 3: direct the Electric Company, like on PBS. 45 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 2: You know, I remember, sure. 46 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 3: And so, And it was summertime and I was wearing 47 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 3: classically what I used to always wear was a T 48 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 3: shirt and then a button like a buttoned up, short 49 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:39,240 Speaker 3: sleeved T shirt over it, right, Yeah, And I was 50 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 3: like looking at the subways to on how to get there, 51 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 3: and it was right on the side of Central Park, 52 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, well, I could like wait 53 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 3: and transfer and go to right where it is, or 54 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 3: I could get off on the other side. 55 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 1: Of the park and then walk through the park. And 56 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 1: I love walking through the park. 57 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 3: And for those of you who haven't been to New York, 58 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 3: Central Park is very big. It's pretty wide as well, 59 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,360 Speaker 3: but it's beautiful, very fun to walk through. 60 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:03,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's paradise. 61 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,519 Speaker 1: But I didn't just I just didn't think about it. 62 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 3: It's ninety five degrees out and I walked through the 63 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 3: park and by the time I get to the elevator 64 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 3: to like go up, I am pouring sweat. And then 65 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 3: also I'm nervous because I've never interviewed for a directing John, 66 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,239 Speaker 3: I don't know what is in fast here. 67 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 2: Yeah. No, So I like go. 68 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,079 Speaker 3: Up and I sit down and uh and I go 69 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 3: in and I'm still sweating. I've swept through one shirt 70 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,560 Speaker 3: and then the other shirt. And they're so alarmed. They're like, 71 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 3: do you need water? 72 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: And I was like, I guess, I guess I do 73 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: need water. So that I started drinking water, and then 74 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: they would die like. 75 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 3: They would just stop and be like, do you do 76 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 3: you want to like take a break, and I'd be like. 77 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: No, I'm fine. I just I walked across the park. 78 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 3: And then new people would come into the meeting, They're like, 79 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 3: he walked across the park. 80 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: They would have to explain it through that before me. 81 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, he fell in a pool. He didn't fall into 82 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 4: Central Park Lake. He fell in the ice skating rink. 83 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 4: They dragged him around behind the zign bony for two hours. 84 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 4: That's so, I mean, you must have just looked in 85 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 4: over your head. Yeah, you must have just looked like 86 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 4: you had never been to a job interview ever. 87 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 3: Before, or inside a building. That's probably what it looked like. 88 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 2: Like. 89 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 3: I just spent my life on the streets and I 90 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,159 Speaker 3: was so nervous to be inside a room. 91 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. 92 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,600 Speaker 4: You have the most extreme clusterrophobio nonder Man just buildings 93 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,200 Speaker 4: in general. 94 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 2: Can we take this outside. 95 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 4: The head coach of the University of Maryland basketball team, 96 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:33,400 Speaker 4: Gary Williams, used to sweat through his suit and I 97 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 4: always thought that that blew my mind. That in like 98 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 4: an and it's an air conditioned the arena, but it's 99 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,559 Speaker 4: so intense and like by the middle of the second 100 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,359 Speaker 4: half he would be just sweating through a suit jacket. 101 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,679 Speaker 2: That is not serious sweat pleasant. 102 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 3: I have definitely done it before and it is not pleasant, 103 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,840 Speaker 3: especially when you're like in you know, for me, it's 104 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,160 Speaker 3: performance and that's why I don't wear a suit anymore. 105 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 3: But I had a suit. I actually had a suit. 106 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:59,800 Speaker 3: Oh man, I'm such an idiot. I had a suit 107 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 3: that I used to wear when christ and I would 108 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 3: do our double act in Australia. It was a three 109 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 3: piece suit, polyester like just made of plastic essentially. 110 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,560 Speaker 2: I remember it well, yeah and uh. 111 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 3: And I never fucking dry cleaned it the entire we 112 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 3: were We did twenty nine shows in thirty days. 113 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,560 Speaker 2: Oh my god, it was by the end. 114 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 3: It was so discuss like disgusting and I it smelled 115 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 3: like shing guards and I was just like, I was like, 116 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,279 Speaker 3: this is my performance jacket. 117 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 4: You guys were very alternative. Kristen's going to be on 118 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,559 Speaker 4: an upcoming regular Eppie of Bananas again, which is so fun. 119 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 4: But you guys were true alt performer comedians back before 120 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 4: you know, hm, the rise, It's true. 121 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 2: Well that's cool, homeboy. First, I'll go. Yeah. 122 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:53,160 Speaker 4: So this is from Matt bush Row from Seattle. And 123 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,600 Speaker 4: the thing I like about Matt bush Row from Seattle 124 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 4: is he gave us a headline to his own story. 125 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: I like, so we could say best in the biz. 126 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, so this one, brilliant but mildly unstable university professor 127 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 4: brings down the house for an audience of one. 128 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 2: Oh wow. Okay, so this was written by Matt Busher 129 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,679 Speaker 2: from Seattle. Love it. Thank you Matt. 130 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:21,480 Speaker 4: That guy can write. He is the best in the business. Hi, 131 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 4: Banana boys, I think the show is great. I was 132 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 4: delighted to hear you invite the audience to submit their 133 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,280 Speaker 4: own weird stories. So stand by for a moment while 134 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 4: I crack wise about a pedantic professor. I knew once 135 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:34,400 Speaker 4: upon a time. 136 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:39,240 Speaker 3: I mean, I am into this writing. Very good, right, 137 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,320 Speaker 3: alliteration right off the bat. All right, I'm in very 138 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 3: good writer. 139 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 4: Early in the new millennium, I was a student studying 140 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 4: economics at a prominent university in Louisiana. The professor was 141 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:54,080 Speaker 4: a professor of one of my classes, was truly an eccentric, 142 00:06:54,720 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 4: a statistical genius. He held multiple doctorates and published many 143 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:03,360 Speaker 4: scholarly papers and several disciplines, but of his brains there 144 00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 4: could not be a speck of doubt. But his lectures 145 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 4: were so extremely theoretical and lofty that nearly everybody would 146 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 4: sit down in class and promptly falsely, we've all been there. Yeah, 147 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,520 Speaker 4: we know what that's Yet, especially in cold weather like 148 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 4: up at u Masks, you'd wear a jacket. You'd go 149 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 4: into like a four point thirty class when the sun's 150 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,280 Speaker 4: aready down, you're asleep, and then you think you can't see, 151 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 4: and then you give a presentation and you just see 152 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 4: every sleeping fed You see that head bob. Thing's the 153 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 4: best that happened to me in rhetoric. Once I took 154 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 4: a rhetoric class and I was giving a presentation on 155 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 4: green eggs and ham uh, and I looked out in 156 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 4: every one of my classmates was asleep, and except the 157 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 4: professor in the back. 158 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, they can see it so flagrantly. 159 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 4: Teachers all are teachers and professor, but animals, you know 160 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 4: what we're saying. 161 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,640 Speaker 2: Anyways, back to the story. 162 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:54,360 Speaker 4: Meanwhile, his appearance was always somewhat shocking for its lack 163 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 4: of presentability. He always had on a rumpled white buttoned 164 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 4: down shirt half untucked with a collar square. He us 165 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 4: and buttoned way up to his double chin, staying by 166 00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 4: cuts from his morning shave. 167 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 2: Great writing. 168 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 4: His tie was always hideously cheap and outdated. He had 169 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 4: a bald Oh is it peate? It is Pat, isn't 170 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 4: it pat? Pat is right? I think he had a 171 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,400 Speaker 4: bald pate. Uh. 172 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 2: I thought it was when you have a spot on 173 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 2: the back of your head. 174 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: Oh, okay, that's not a bald pate. 175 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:29,119 Speaker 2: Let's go bald pate. 176 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 4: He had a bald patee with uncut and unruly curly 177 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 4: hair sticking around the perimeter of his head. Now, maybe 178 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:42,319 Speaker 4: it's like Larry David's style bald pate, the George Costanza 179 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 4: bald patee. I had a knack for statistics and an 180 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 4: enormous respect for his intelligence, but it was like he 181 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 4: was a living caricature. So one day I'm in class, 182 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 4: as it was often the case, everyone else has totally 183 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 4: passed out and I'm the only one actually awakened listening. 184 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 4: He's going on and on lecturing about some complicated anomaly 185 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,680 Speaker 4: of the stock market, when all of a sudden, one 186 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:08,960 Speaker 4: of his denture slides out of place. Gets ejected fully 187 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,839 Speaker 4: from his mouth by the sheer exuberance of what he's saying, 188 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 4: and is launched into space, out from the lectern where 189 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 4: he's standing. Before I could even fully comprehend what I 190 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 4: was seeing, he shot out one of his hands, snatched 191 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 4: his dentures out of the thin ail, and jammed it 192 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 4: back into his mouth, and continued lecturing as if nothing 193 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,200 Speaker 4: out of the ordinary had ever happened. I cannot tell 194 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 4: you how overwhelmed I was with the conflicting feelings of 195 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 4: both shock and awe and outright hilarity over what I 196 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:36,439 Speaker 4: had just seen. 197 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 2: And I was the only soul in the class who 198 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:41,520 Speaker 2: was awake to see it. 199 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:45,920 Speaker 4: He gave an absolutely Oscar winning moment that probably couldn't 200 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 4: be reproduced if it was attempted again and again and again. 201 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 4: And that is the story of how one of my 202 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:54,320 Speaker 4: favorite professors made the fantastic contribution to my odd and 203 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 4: outrageous stories that are truly or that are true but 204 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 4: completely uncorroborated thing. 205 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: Oh that is great. I love that. 206 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't recognize denthers anymore. 207 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 4: Like I feel like when I was a kid, I 208 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 4: must have watched a lot of Jeopardy and wheel fortune, 209 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:14,640 Speaker 4: and it was always for polydent or like whatever sticks you, 210 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 4: but you never think about dentures. Maybe dental care has 211 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,079 Speaker 4: gotten so much better in the States or something. 212 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, possibly, or maybe I'm just not looking at enough 213 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 3: old people's mouth. 214 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, is a land of the young and veneered. 215 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 4: So God, I had this professor, I mean, I had 216 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:37,320 Speaker 4: this high school teacher, a physics teacher. Mister vant Hall 217 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,600 Speaker 4: was his name. He was from a foreign country. He 218 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 4: had one of the craziest accents I've ever heard, and 219 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 4: he knew I was too stupid to be in physics, 220 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 4: but I had to take it, so he would let 221 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 4: me explain why I thought things were the way they 222 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,920 Speaker 4: were without showing any trigonometry. 223 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 2: O nice guy. 224 00:10:55,800 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 4: His hobby apparently he had a identical twin brother. I 225 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,439 Speaker 4: don't know if he's ever verified, but he really liked 226 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 4: doing experiments to prove physics to us, and that included 227 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 4: his hobby where he was the president of the Maryland 228 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 4: Hang Gliders Association. 229 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 2: There it is there. 230 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 4: It is something he brought up proudly and often. And 231 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 4: when you're sixteen or seventeen whatever I was, it's like, sure, 232 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,960 Speaker 4: hang gliding is on the list of things you'd like 233 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 4: to do before. 234 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 2: You die, but you don't give a shit about it. 235 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 4: You're happy to have a car, You're happy to have 236 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 4: taco bell down the street. So one day we're studying 237 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 4: lyft and all that stuff. So he takes us outside 238 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 4: and surprises us. There is his hang glider. He had 239 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 4: it fully set up, and there was this nice little 240 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,199 Speaker 4: running hill down to sort of the football fields and 241 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 4: the soccer fields on our campus. 242 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 2: And he talks. 243 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 4: He's got a highlighter in his hand, as he always did, 244 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 4: and he's explaining lyft and why air passes over and 245 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 4: pulls up and not down and blah blah blah. And 246 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 4: so then he's like, so I'm going to show you 247 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 4: how that works. So this guy is the president marylnd 248 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 4: Hangli's association. He picks it up in front of my 249 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,839 Speaker 4: class of thirty five people or so, he runs down 250 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 4: the hill about five steps, not in the bag, just 251 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 4: he's going to just hold onto the bar whatever, the 252 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 4: crossbar thing, just to show the lift. And the idea 253 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 4: was he was going to let us do this too. 254 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 4: Oh wow, okay, because he wanted us to see, which 255 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 4: is also I doubt you could even do that with 256 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 4: some smartphones these days. So he runs full speed, this 257 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:33,839 Speaker 4: little man, just in his science teacher outfit, puts his 258 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,120 Speaker 4: highlighter in his back pocket and it takes off from 259 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 4: the ground and crashes so violently down that he is 260 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 4: holding his shoulder like I think he's dissiocated his shoulder. 261 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 4: And he gets up sort of laughing and smiling in 262 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:49,199 Speaker 4: the way that only Europeans do after tragedy, and nobody 263 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 4: else was allowed to do it. We were all like, 264 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,560 Speaker 4: what do you do? It's like when an old when 265 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 4: an adult gets hurt, and you're just kids. You're just horny, 266 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 4: angsty kids. And so he like limps back up. I 267 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 4: think he just left it at the bottom of the hill, 268 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 4: and like we just kind of limp back into the 269 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 4: class and he's just like working it out for the 270 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 4: rest of the day. 271 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 2: But you could tell it was his moment to fly. 272 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 2: He wanted to shine. 273 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 4: This was his hobby, this was his thing. And to 274 00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 4: say he crashed it was like just as if a 275 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,719 Speaker 4: twister came out of nowhere and just leveled him into 276 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:18,200 Speaker 4: the ground. 277 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:20,560 Speaker 1: Oh man, Two. 278 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 2: Years ago, I tweeted it. 279 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,640 Speaker 4: I tweeted the same thing and a guy that I 280 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 4: went to high school with that I didn't know follow 281 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 4: me on Twitter, goes, I can confirm this. 282 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 2: This dude, Ryan was like, I. 283 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 3: Was there, man, I know his pain so intimately because 284 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:43,480 Speaker 3: an embarrassment. I an embarrassment. I So I am a 285 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 3: lifelong surfer. Started surfing when I was fourteen. I've been 286 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,800 Speaker 3: you know, body surfing and boogiey boarding before. 287 00:13:50,520 --> 00:13:51,560 Speaker 2: That for my whole life. 288 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,719 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I surf in the winter. I used to 289 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,560 Speaker 3: surf in the winter in New York City for ten years. 290 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 3: Would surf for work. 291 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:01,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. 292 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,640 Speaker 3: I would surf at like six am, twenty degree temperatures. 293 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 294 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,839 Speaker 3: And and so my buddy Joanah Ray had this TV 295 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 3: show which was a travel It was kind of like 296 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:17,840 Speaker 3: a documentary of a travel show, which you guys should 297 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 3: really go and watch. 298 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 1: It's very funny. 299 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,560 Speaker 3: And one of the episodes was in Cleveland, which is 300 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 3: on Lake Erie. And he's like, Hey, do you want 301 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 3: to surf Lake Erie and in the winter? And I 302 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 3: was like, I sure totally do yes. 303 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure, the most curt thing you could get 304 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 4: at exactly. 305 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 3: And so they wrote this whole bit about surfing in 306 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 3: cold water. 307 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: But then we're gonna actually get footage. 308 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,360 Speaker 3: Of me surfing, and it was like we get there 309 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 3: and this is like the surf beach in Cleveland, and 310 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 3: so you can you have to understand like the when 311 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 3: I didn't understand this really the Great Lakes, Like when 312 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:57,320 Speaker 3: surf comes, it's what's called wind swell, which means it's 313 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 3: very choppy. It's not like the ocean where the has 314 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 3: been traveling across the water for a long period of 315 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 3: time and you just have these nice rollers. 316 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,600 Speaker 1: It's just like wave. 317 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 2: Wave wave wait wait, wave wait wait wave. 318 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 3: And the people who are used to surfing that like 319 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 3: that is you know, they just gotten used to it 320 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:14,400 Speaker 3: and how to do it. 321 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, there's swing staters. Yeah, they just do everything a 322 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:17,920 Speaker 4: little wacky out there. 323 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,560 Speaker 3: So it's probably like twenty eight degrees or something. And 324 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,480 Speaker 3: I get into it. It's a five mil wet suit, 325 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 3: tachable hood, lobster, clog gloves. I bring my own wetsuit, 326 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 3: but they're going to provide the surfboard, okay, okay, And 327 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 3: uh so they provide the surfboard. Yeah, and then I'm like, well, 328 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 3: is there a leash? And then they're like no, there's 329 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 3: no leash, and I was like okay. And then they 330 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 3: like mounted a camera on the front of the surfbo 331 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 3: and it was like literally dooring production and I like 332 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,360 Speaker 3: and you know, it's just like we gotta get out, 333 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 3: we gotta shoot me. And I was like yeah, yeah, 334 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 3: and I was just wasn't taking straight. And also because 335 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 3: they brought the surfboard, no one brought me any surf wax, 336 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 3: and so I didn't have wax. 337 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 2: It's a very slick, unleashed surf yes, okay. 338 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,800 Speaker 3: And uh and for you of you don't know, you 339 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 3: have to put wax on the top of the surfboard 340 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:03,800 Speaker 3: so you can stick to it. 341 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: Otherwise it's very slippery slide right. 342 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 2: Yes, like a wet linoleum floor. Yeah. 343 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 3: So four cameras go and like start shooting this beach 344 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,320 Speaker 3: where I'm gonna go out, and I start paddling out. 345 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,720 Speaker 3: The moment I hit the water, I'm like, fuck, I 346 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 3: need surf wax, Like this is almost impossible to do. 347 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 3: And then like eight waves hit the camera on the 348 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 3: front of the board and immediately look it off. So 349 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:34,040 Speaker 3: now I'm trying to hold a camera and paddle an 350 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 3: unwaxed surfboard with like and it was like the waves 351 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 3: were probably like four feet high, but just like just 352 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 3: crashing constantly and I can't even make it out. I'm like, 353 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 3: am I gonna get I'm like, this is the most 354 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,640 Speaker 3: embarrassing I could ever be in my life to not 355 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 3: be able to like. And also I had been exactly 356 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 3: and I was in like this five mil wet suit. 357 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: And I've been in LA for nine years at that. 358 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 3: Point, you know, I've been only surfing in a two 359 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:03,920 Speaker 3: mill wet suit, much less rubber. 360 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:09,000 Speaker 4: It's two million dollars. That's two million dollars wet suit. 361 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:14,800 Speaker 4: It's it's gold, it's got copper on the inside, diamond encrusted, 362 00:17:14,840 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 4: two million dollars. 363 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,679 Speaker 3: So I didn't even catch one wave and I was 364 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:18,760 Speaker 3: for the whole the whole time. 365 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:19,959 Speaker 2: Did it make the episode? 366 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 3: There's no surf, no footage of me surfing whatsoever. So well, 367 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 3: it's not your fault, embarrassing. 368 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 4: You're set up to fail, like mister van Hall and 369 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 4: his my fault. 370 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,800 Speaker 2: Oh okay, well next time. 371 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,680 Speaker 4: That's why you always travel with doctors, sex, wax or whatever. 372 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 3: Mister, That's why I should have always traveled with wax. 373 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:42,879 Speaker 4: I hope, I hope when you fly to Denver this 374 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 4: week and you take sticky bumps. 375 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,400 Speaker 3: You got sticky bumps is my brand, sticky Bumps. 376 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:49,600 Speaker 2: I knew it. I knew it. 377 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,240 Speaker 3: Oh man, god damn it. All right, do we have 378 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 3: do we even have time for this? 379 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,400 Speaker 2: We can? We could do a story. 380 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna back us out when we maybe we don't 381 00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:57,919 Speaker 1: tell a story to it. 382 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 2: Here we go, kadoki. This is see how we feel. 383 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,000 Speaker 1: This was email to us by Laura Olsen. 384 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,080 Speaker 2: Thank you, Laura, Thank you Laura. 385 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 3: Hello to my favorite banana boys. All right, so I'm 386 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:16,119 Speaker 3: gonna it's a long one, all right, you bright in 387 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,800 Speaker 3: my week every Tuesday, much love. All right to tell 388 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,359 Speaker 3: you of a silly story of my friend that I 389 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,880 Speaker 3: thought you would enjoy. It's a bit long and kind 390 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 3: of holiday theme, but I figured i'd forget to write, 391 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,919 Speaker 3: So here you go. As we all know, the holidays 392 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,280 Speaker 3: foster lots of joy eating, drinking, family arguments, and increased 393 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 3: petty crime. My friend, I'll call him Jason, bravely defended 394 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 3: his home and neighborhood from a holiday purp. Jason is 395 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 3: a good old Boston boy, large billed, thick beer, very 396 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:47,240 Speaker 3: intimidating if you know this, normally, his normally kind nature 397 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,040 Speaker 3: and He's come back from home from Denver for the 398 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:54,159 Speaker 3: holidays at Truster, a night of drunken shenanigans with old friends. 399 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 3: He returns home in the wee hours of the morning 400 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,000 Speaker 3: to pass out on the living room couch because his 401 00:18:58,119 --> 00:19:02,040 Speaker 3: childhood bedroom is occupied by other visiting family members. 402 00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:02,679 Speaker 2: Great. 403 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 3: Then a few hours later he hears some tinkering on the porch. Alarmed, 404 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 3: he gets up to check out the situation, only to 405 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 3: find a person standing there with a bag and a 406 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:15,240 Speaker 3: car running idle in the driveway, a holiday purp. Jason 407 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,320 Speaker 3: may have been in his boxers and t shirt, but 408 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 3: he braves the winter night and charges outside, ready to 409 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,640 Speaker 3: defend his home. The poll Yeah, runs back to the car, 410 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,399 Speaker 3: gets in, and drives away. He goes back inside feeling 411 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:29,360 Speaker 3: so good. Jason sounds like the personification of a dog. 412 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,720 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, he does, like a really good saint Bernard yep. 413 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:38,680 Speaker 1: But he goes back inside. Uh, who got that mailman 414 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:39,200 Speaker 1: out of here? 415 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,720 Speaker 2: But no, the purp. 416 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 1: Car did not go far, merely next door. 417 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:45,320 Speaker 3: He sees the purp get out of the car, leaves 418 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,480 Speaker 3: it running idle, and approaches the neighbor's house. He thinks, oh, 419 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 3: hell no, this fucker thinks he can just escape like 420 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 3: that and get away with some shit. The only logical 421 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,960 Speaker 3: conclusion for him at the time, a man pumped up 422 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,400 Speaker 3: by Boston fueled testosterone, lots and lots of alcohol, very 423 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 3: little sleep, and a deep sense of family and neighborhood pride, 424 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 3: is to grab a knife from the kitchen and go 425 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,840 Speaker 3: show the Purp what's up. 426 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 2: That's a whoa, that's Boston pride out the. 427 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,200 Speaker 1: Doors, charging, screaming, knife in hand. 428 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,200 Speaker 3: The Purp sees him and flees back to the car 429 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:19,120 Speaker 3: and tries to drive away. This does not deter Jason. 430 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,600 Speaker 3: This fucker already tried this once. He's not gonna let 431 00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:23,680 Speaker 3: this go. He jumps on the hood of the car. 432 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 2: Oh boy, big mistake. 433 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:31,800 Speaker 3: He hold on, yelling many threatening remarks and displaying his knife. Unfortunately, 434 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,479 Speaker 3: his grip isn't very good, and he almost immediately slips 435 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 3: off the car once moving, and thankfully doesn't impale himself 436 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:38,080 Speaker 3: on said knife. 437 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:39,440 Speaker 1: Who the Purf drives off. 438 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,239 Speaker 3: The Purp drives off in a hurry, clearly frightened and 439 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,920 Speaker 3: unlikely to return. 440 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 2: Wow, but you never jump on the other car, guys. 441 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,639 Speaker 4: We get sent so many banana stories, real stories of 442 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 4: people going down the highway on the front of somebody's car. 443 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,000 Speaker 2: You don't want to do it, especially not holding her kitchen. 444 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 2: No kidding. 445 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 3: He returns home absolutely with pride. A few minutes later, 446 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,760 Speaker 3: he sees several cop cars roar by, thinking someone must 447 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,120 Speaker 3: have seen or heard the commotion and called the cops. Right, 448 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 3: Jason is so proud, and he passes out once again, 449 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:14,440 Speaker 3: knowing all is well and safe. In the next morning, 450 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,919 Speaker 3: the family's eating breakfast and his mom says, oh, I 451 00:21:17,119 --> 00:21:20,199 Speaker 3: just can't believe what happened last night. Thinking it was 452 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 3: his time to shine, he prepares to be lauded by 453 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 3: his family for his bravery. She continues, someone terrorized the 454 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,840 Speaker 3: poor male girl. She had to call the cops because 455 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,880 Speaker 3: some lunatic tried to attack. 456 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 2: Neighborhood. 457 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,400 Speaker 3: Gossip had already gotten around that the teenage male girl 458 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 3: called the cops early in the morning to report an incident, 459 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 3: and there were soon many cops on the street trying 460 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 3: to investigate this odd attack. While my friend slept in 461 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 3: toward off his impending hangover in se not willing to 462 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,840 Speaker 3: go from brave hero to assailant, my friend simply shook 463 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,119 Speaker 3: his head and said, oh, my god, that's fucking horrible. 464 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's the but that's see, Jason's a genius that 465 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:00,639 Speaker 4: he just got out of it. 466 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:04,160 Speaker 2: That's wonderful. Ah. Man, that's terrible. Who would do that? 467 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 2: That's so good. What a story. Great story, crazy, great story. 468 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:11,399 Speaker 2: I have a real quickie. 469 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 4: And I might have told this one before, but recently, 470 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,360 Speaker 4: like last I guess it was pre the Great Choar. 471 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,639 Speaker 2: But I was lying in bed and no ac. 472 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:26,639 Speaker 4: I had my screen window open, and I heard footsteps 473 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 4: outside of my house. And about two nights before, my 474 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,440 Speaker 4: former a guy that used to live he used to 475 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,359 Speaker 4: AIRBN but one of his house and somebody tried to 476 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:37,160 Speaker 4: open my front door. 477 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,360 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, screen door. 478 00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:42,159 Speaker 4: Twice and I heard it and I look out there 479 00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 4: and there's two Asian men standing there and I was like, hey, 480 00:22:47,880 --> 00:22:51,639 Speaker 4: wrong house, and they like they like look at the window, 481 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,640 Speaker 4: really scared, and so I just slammed my window really 482 00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,359 Speaker 4: hard and then I get up and by the time. 483 00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:00,000 Speaker 2: I go, they're gone. And so I was. 484 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,120 Speaker 4: I told my neighbor. I was like, did you guys 485 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:03,800 Speaker 4: see anybody? Somebody just tried to break in my house? 486 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,040 Speaker 4: As the two guys who goes, oh, they're Chinese. Exchange students. 487 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,120 Speaker 4: They were looking for their Airbnb. They got the numbers 488 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,960 Speaker 4: mixed up, and so they weren't trying to just enter 489 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,680 Speaker 4: your house. And so I yelled at them, Hey, wrong house, 490 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,520 Speaker 4: and then slammed a window in their face. So it's 491 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:19,479 Speaker 4: like they had just gotten off the plane at Lax. 492 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 4: They had taken an uber taxi here and they know 493 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,520 Speaker 4: why live in this weird these cabin clusters that's in 494 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,280 Speaker 4: the trees, and it's kind of dark, and it's definitely 495 00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 4: like a weird place. 496 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,760 Speaker 2: And so I probably scared the shit out. So two 497 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,520 Speaker 2: nights later, two nights. 498 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:38,600 Speaker 4: Later, I'm lying in bed and I hear footsteps and 499 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,760 Speaker 4: I'm like, what the hell? Because it was like a 500 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,080 Speaker 4: new air Andbnb property. I'm like, is this going to happen? 501 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 4: Is the listing wrong? Do they have my address? 502 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: Like? 503 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:46,680 Speaker 2: What the hell? 504 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 4: And so I hear my gate to my backyard. I 505 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,560 Speaker 4: put a little shop bell on the back. That's my 506 00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:57,199 Speaker 4: security system. It's a shop bell, and I hear it 507 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 4: ring and I look and there's a guy with a 508 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,320 Speaker 4: back pack on. So I think it's an airbnber And 509 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:07,680 Speaker 4: in my sleepy deep voice, I go Yo, wrong house, 510 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,320 Speaker 4: and he freezes and he puts the latch back on 511 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 4: the gate. He takes a couple steps and then sprints 512 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:17,399 Speaker 4: up the stairs full speed. And it was uh tiger. 513 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,119 Speaker 4: It was a graffiti guy that they later caught in 514 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:23,200 Speaker 4: the neighborhood, and we had caught him on security cameras 515 00:24:23,359 --> 00:24:25,520 Speaker 4: and he was actually trying to break into my backyard 516 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,679 Speaker 4: to spray the back of my fence. But in my 517 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,320 Speaker 4: in my trying to be polite, but also it's three 518 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 4: em and I'm pissed off. 519 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:32,400 Speaker 2: My brain went. 520 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:36,400 Speaker 4: Yo wrong house, and that's all he needed to hear. 521 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,840 Speaker 4: He probably thought I had like a cannon pointed out. 522 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,760 Speaker 4: He was like, seea But they got that guy. But 523 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:48,720 Speaker 4: sorry to those Chinese Exchange students, I'm sure you're huge bananimals. 524 00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 1: Well we did it again. 525 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Scottie, Thank you exactly right. 526 00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,679 Speaker 4: Thank you to our producer Keay Levine into our intern 527 00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:00,880 Speaker 4: Lisa Magadho helps us compile these stories. Keep your bananas 528 00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 4: real stories. The weirder the better. Give us the details. 529 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,640 Speaker 4: We like funny details. Send them to The Bananas Podcast 530 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:11,040 Speaker 4: at gmail dot com or the Bananas Podcast on Instagram. 531 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 4: You guys know it. Thanks for following us. My name Gurnambers. 532 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,360 Speaker 4: This has been an exactly right production. 533 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:26,440 Speaker 1: Produced and engineered by Katie Levine. 534 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,440 Speaker 2: The music by Kahan, and all of our. 535 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,119 Speaker 1: Artwork is done by Travis Millard. 536 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 4: You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast, 537 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,240 Speaker 4: where we post stories every day and things that we 538 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:36,760 Speaker 4: don't cover on the podcast. 539 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 3: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast, 540 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,359 Speaker 3: Stitcher or wherever you get your podcast. 541 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 4: And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email 542 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,680 Speaker 4: us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's 543 00:25:48,880 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 4: the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. 544 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,359 Speaker 2: But balance that he 545 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:05,760 Speaker 1: Put there, but beara