Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with Dean Unglert and Dared
Speaker 1: Haven and I heard radio podcast. Hey everybody, welcome to
Speaker 1: an all new episode of Help I Suck At Dating.
Speaker 1: My name is Jared, quarantined here at the in law's house,
Speaker 1: currently in my mother in law's closet. If you would
Speaker 1: ask me two months ago I would ever be recording
Speaker 1: an episode of help by secondating from my mother in
Speaker 1: law's closet. That doesn't sound that crazy. Actually joining me
Speaker 1: from the other side of the country, Dean Angler, Dean,
Speaker 1: how you doing, Buddy good Man? Just seeing some pop
Speaker 1: tarts in Kalin's bed? What flavor pop talts? Cinnamon brown
Speaker 1: sugar obviously the best? So you're more of a cinnamon
Speaker 1: brown sugar guy than a strawberry guy. Yeah, I think
Speaker 1: cinnamon brown sugar is buying far the best pop tart flavor.
Speaker 1: Strawberry is good, but nothing can come, nothing can compare,
Speaker 1: you know, Oh God, I don't know. It's those Those
Speaker 1: two are the top two from me, and then there's
Speaker 1: a distant, distant third, which is probably like blueberry or
Speaker 1: something very bland like that. But the strawberry man have
Speaker 1: you here? So do you toast your pop tart? Or
Speaker 1: do you just eat it straight out of the bag.
Speaker 1: I prefer them toasted, but these ones are non toasted,
Speaker 1: They're just raw. Um. Depending on how much time I'm
Speaker 1: willing to commit to putting together their meal, I'll toast it.
Speaker 1: But you know, I wanted to rush just to get
Speaker 1: to you guys for the podcast. So you're am eating
Speaker 1: a raw pop tart? So how many pop tarts? I'm
Speaker 1: I'm very interested in this conversation. How many pop tarts
Speaker 1: do you eat in one sitting? For example, when you
Speaker 1: open the bag, as we all know, there's two pop
Speaker 1: tarts in the bag, So do you eat both or
Speaker 1: do you eat one? I just say both. I grabbed
Speaker 1: a bag before I came in, and Caleen wanted to
Speaker 1: split it with me, and I said, absolutely not. You
Speaker 1: can go get your own bag. You know I respond
Speaker 1: to popcarts. Yeah, I hear you there. Yeah she should
Speaker 1: get her own damn pop tart. So, as you guys know,
Speaker 1: we are currently self isolated to our respective homes. I'm
Speaker 1: calling in, Dean is calling in Easton is making this
Speaker 1: all work right now? Um, And we also have a
Speaker 1: guest that's gonna be calling in in just a few minutes.
Speaker 1: It is Emily Morse. Now Emily Morse. I guess the
Speaker 1: proper way to put this is she's a sex expert. Um.
Speaker 1: She has a radio show called Sex with Emily, So
Speaker 1: I'm very interested to talk about her, uh and her
Speaker 1: point of view on sex and most of more specifically
Speaker 1: what she has to say about all the sex that's
Speaker 1: probably gonna be happening while everybody's quarantined. M Yeah, and
Speaker 1: there we have it. That's our show. We also have
Speaker 1: some emails coming in later in the show. And then
Speaker 1: I posted on the Instagram earlier today to see if
Speaker 1: anybody had questions for myself Dean about our relationships dating.
Speaker 1: So I have tons of those ready to go as well.
Speaker 1: But Dean, update us. How is your quarantine going right now? How?
Speaker 1: How are you doing? How are you doing? Mentally? Uh? Man,
Speaker 1: where do I even begin? No, I'm just Kidding'm probably
Speaker 1: the same place as everyone else. Uh. The only thing
Speaker 1: I've been dealing with like this poison IVY And I
Speaker 1: was working on my motorcycle a couple of days ago
Speaker 1: and I spilled gasoline all over my body. So now
Speaker 1: I'm like covered in irritated like contact dermatitis or something
Speaker 1: like that. So it's something the couch last night self
Speaker 1: quarantine from Caitlin's bedroom. It's been a it's been a
Speaker 1: struggle hold on. So you have the poison ivy and
Speaker 1: you spilled oil on it because you're working on your
Speaker 1: motorcycle and then that caused what So okay, so this
Speaker 1: is what I think happened. I've got poison ivy on
Speaker 1: my legs. I took the carburetor off my motorcycle. And
Speaker 1: if you know, if for the people that don't know,
Speaker 1: carburetor is like essentially where the gas flows through the
Speaker 1: carburetor and then into the motor So there's always gonna
Speaker 1: be gas in the carburetor. So when I took it off,
Speaker 1: I was like emptying of the gas that was in it,
Speaker 1: and it got all over my hands, and then I
Speaker 1: itched my poison ivy with my gasoline covered hands, and
Speaker 1: then the gasoline irritated my skin, and so now I'm
Speaker 1: covered in little bumps and not just my legs are itchy,
Speaker 1: but like my arms, my hands, my wrists, I'm just
Speaker 1: itchy all over now. So I called my doctor. He
Speaker 1: prescribed it's a nice appointment to go pick up today
Speaker 1: hopefully cover up and fix all of the itching and
Speaker 1: the scratching and the discomfort that it's caused. But I
Speaker 1: mean that's like the worst of my my my quarantine.
Speaker 1: At this point, it's like, you know, I mean, my
Speaker 1: leg is still recovering, so at least it's like I'm
Speaker 1: not really missing out on anything by being itchy and broken. No,
Speaker 1: you're not missing on anything. You just be doing exactly
Speaker 1: what you're doing right now, sitting on the couch for
Speaker 1: the most part. Yeah, you know, I can't complain. I
Speaker 1: know that obviously a lot of us are either spending
Speaker 1: a lot of time alone or with a significant other,
Speaker 1: so you know, it's not so bad having Kaylin here
Speaker 1: with me. I feel bad for I think we talked
Speaker 1: about it last week, you know, like Nick and uh,
Speaker 1: Mike and all of them that don't have a significantly
Speaker 1: like you and me do. So I think that we're
Speaker 1: fortunate in that sense. But you're pretty close quarters, I
Speaker 1: guess after enough time and that what's nice for you,
Speaker 1: I feel like is you have uh some third party
Speaker 1: presidents to kind of diffus use the time between you
Speaker 1: and Ashley, right, so you can like talk to her
Speaker 1: parents and hang out and it's not just you guys
Speaker 1: want him one the whole time. Now. So, like you said, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're at Ashley's parents house, so it's the four of us,
Speaker 1: um and Ashley's dad is a doctor at the hospital.
Speaker 1: He's an aneste geologist. So he's actually quarantined himself to
Speaker 1: the basement. They have a finished basement because for precautionary reasons,
Speaker 1: he just wants to make sure I think I talked
Speaker 1: about the podcast last week. Then if he catches something
Speaker 1: at the hospital, he didn't want to bring it back
Speaker 1: here so he can infect Audrey myself or Ashley or
Speaker 1: conversely somehow, even though we're quarantined, we get it whatever
Speaker 1: it is, or however we'd get it, and then we
Speaker 1: give it to him and then he goes to the hospital.
Speaker 1: So it's just better as sad as it is that
Speaker 1: he has to go through like the back door every
Speaker 1: time and he just stays downstairs. Uh, it's just you
Speaker 1: know what we kind of have to do right now.
Speaker 1: But it's been nice, you know being at the house. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, there's more room, you know, obviously there's more
Speaker 1: room in the house and there's a backyard and a
Speaker 1: neighborhood to walk around and and so we have our
Speaker 1: Lois and then Ashley's parents have their dog Ethel, so
Speaker 1: they've been playing. So it's been really good, especially the key.
Speaker 1: The key is and anybody who owns a dog knows this.
Speaker 1: They have a fenced in backyard, so all we have
Speaker 1: to do is let them into the backyard and they
Speaker 1: can just run around and we don't have to walk
Speaker 1: Lois five times a day like we are used to doing.
Speaker 1: So that's been a very added bonus. Other than that, man,
Speaker 1: we're doing well. I mean, as everybody's feeling out there,
Speaker 1: probably a little uh you know, they're getting a little
Speaker 1: wound up mentally right now, but it's all for the best.
Speaker 1: They just extended this this quarantine till ap um, so
Speaker 1: everybody's gonna be doing this for at least another month,
Speaker 1: most likely more another month. I just because I saw
Speaker 1: that same thing this morning on CNN, and I was like,
Speaker 1: holy because everyone kind of expected it to be through April,
Speaker 1: through the end of April anyways, but then you see
Speaker 1: it and then I started, like, I started thinking about
Speaker 1: we've only really been doing this for like a week
Speaker 1: or two weeks, week and a half whatever, there's a
Speaker 1: whole four plus weeks doing what we've been doing. Like
Speaker 1: we're not even a third of the way through this yet. No,
Speaker 1: I know that's the crazy party. Like you said, once
Speaker 1: you put a number on it, it's like, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: gonna last a couple more months and then we'll get
Speaker 1: through it. But then when you see like no, this
Speaker 1: at least we'll go to April thirty or three, Like wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's another like thirty two days away and we've been
Speaker 1: quarantined for about fourteen. This might be a long time.
Speaker 1: But honestly, the way I'm like this was like a
Speaker 1: grieving process for me. Like at first, I wouldn't say
Speaker 1: I was in denial. I took it seriously, but I
Speaker 1: never thought in my wildest dreams that the country would
Speaker 1: be shut down, And so I think at first it
Speaker 1: was like fear set in, and then I was sad,
Speaker 1: and now I've just accepted it and doing everything I
Speaker 1: possibly can to avoid getting the coronavirus and then secondly
Speaker 1: keeping my uh mental health as positive as possible. So like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know what, in a couple of months, when we
Speaker 1: all have to kind of go back to whatever we
Speaker 1: were doing, our nine to five or working constantly or
Speaker 1: always is having no time to just sit down and
Speaker 1: watch movies and just enjoy the time you have now,
Speaker 1: Like I feel like there's projects we all want to
Speaker 1: do at home. I'm sure we can figure out things
Speaker 1: to do. We get to just be, you know, couch
Speaker 1: potatoes for the next month and not feel bad about it.
Speaker 1: There could be worse things. There could be worse things
Speaker 1: than just staying at home, right, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the year that can be opposite because
Speaker 1: you're someone who needs to go out and I'm someone
Speaker 1: who you know, does need to go out, and and
Speaker 1: I like going to the gym, and I like kind
Speaker 1: of having my routine. But I think now in my head,
Speaker 1: I'm just putting everything a perspective, and I think I've
Speaker 1: been doing it for quite a while now where I'm
Speaker 1: thinking things could be so much worse than being quarantined
Speaker 1: to a place that has electricity, TV, internet, Um, you know,
Speaker 1: a roof over my head. Uh so that's kind of
Speaker 1: where my head is now. The biggest break with the
Speaker 1: quarantine for me specifically is it just breeds bad of
Speaker 1: its for me, It's like I'm sleeping in later. Obviously
Speaker 1: I'm playing more video games. I you know, I had
Speaker 1: like five glasses of whiskey either night when I normally
Speaker 1: don't drink. So it's just like it's it's not it's
Speaker 1: like bringing out the worst parts of me. Oh dude,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Oh? Absolutely, it's bringing out
Speaker 1: the worst of me too. I don't get out of
Speaker 1: bed before ten just because in my head, I'm like,
Speaker 1: what am I gonna do? Walk down and sit on
Speaker 1: the couch. And especially working out, I've been trying. I've
Speaker 1: been doing pretty well. I work out like every other day,
Speaker 1: but it's not an intense workout. You know, I'm doing
Speaker 1: push ups or burpies or squats, and you know, I
Speaker 1: don't have weights, so I don't feel like I'm really
Speaker 1: gaining any strength. So I think that's going to be
Speaker 1: a testament to try not to just feel like a
Speaker 1: complete slouch when this thing is over with. But but anyway,
Speaker 1: we do have our guest, Emily Morris, who is on
Speaker 1: the phone right now waiting for us, um so we
Speaker 1: would love to talk to her. But before we do,
Speaker 1: let's take a quick break. Welcome back to help I
Speaker 1: suck at dating, and our guest Emily Morris is on
Speaker 1: the phone with us right now. You can listen to
Speaker 1: her daily radio show Sex with Emily, which airs every
Speaker 1: evening on Sirius XM Stars Channel one O nine. Emily Morrise, Emily,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. How are you hi? Hello?
Speaker 1: Good to be here. I also have the podcast Text
Speaker 1: with Emily. That's that's pre dated, serious extent. Hi, guys,
Speaker 1: are you doing so good? I'm actually really good. I
Speaker 1: got stuck in Maui, so it's so bad here? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You what? That's awesome? Okay. So, Emily, so I have
Speaker 1: a question for you because I'm looking at your background here. Um,
Speaker 1: can you tell me what a doctor of sexuality it means? Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm a doctor of human sexuality on the sex therapist
Speaker 1: and so essentially what I do is I've been doing
Speaker 1: this for fifteen years and I helped people feel more
Speaker 1: common I have people understand their desire sexually, what they
Speaker 1: want sexually, what they want in relationships, and then also
Speaker 1: how to communicate and how to ask what they want.
Speaker 1: So I help, I mean literally I could any sex
Speaker 1: dating relationship tips. Um. That's what I do, basically help
Speaker 1: people feel better and safer talking about sex, so I
Speaker 1: study human sexuality. They're like, how can more sexual beings?
Speaker 1: How do we feel the most sexual? What do we
Speaker 1: you know, what do we desire? I think we don't
Speaker 1: often really explore it. We just think sex is something
Speaker 1: that you're supposed to feel good. Magically we have chemistry
Speaker 1: at someone, but you know that changes over time, the
Speaker 1: honeymoon phase end for everybody. Have you ever heard of
Speaker 1: the five love languages? I'm sure you have, yes, absolutely,
Speaker 1: So you know how like everybody has a certain need. Yes,
Speaker 1: everybody has a certain way they express or need to
Speaker 1: have love reciprocated to them. Is that similar to sex? Yes? Well,
Speaker 1: I wish there was a actually been thinking about like
Speaker 1: having like a sex love language, because like, if we
Speaker 1: could figure out what we need sexually and you can
Speaker 1: just divide it into like a love language, that would
Speaker 1: be awesome. But what I think the love languages, though,
Speaker 1: are great for, is that I think I think if
Speaker 1: you could figure out because a lot of times, if
Speaker 1: we're not getting our love needs met, like our partners
Speaker 1: not speaking our love language, we're definitely not gonna want
Speaker 1: to have sex with them, Like if you haven't been
Speaker 1: getting me gifts. If that was my love language, or
Speaker 1: you haven't been telling me that I'm hot, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna want to have sex with you because I don't
Speaker 1: feel loved and I don't feel safe. So I think
Speaker 1: understanding love languages first really helps. But sex is like
Speaker 1: a whole different language. I think that the problem with sex,
Speaker 1: the reason why we have problems I think sexually is because,
Speaker 1: especially for women like and have our sexual relationships, the
Speaker 1: way we've learned about sex is that it's all about
Speaker 1: penetration and that men okay, like you walk in let's say,
Speaker 1: and you see your girlfriend and your partner just beyonce it,
Speaker 1: and you're like, I'm so turned on right now, I
Speaker 1: can't wait to like you've seeing them turn you on.
Speaker 1: But for women, we might need to had a conversation.
Speaker 1: I might have wanted you to ask about my day.
Speaker 1: I might have needed in thirty minutes to warm up.
Speaker 1: And so what happens with a rousal and desires that
Speaker 1: just gets messed up because women don't. But what we
Speaker 1: see in like movies and porn is that like women
Speaker 1: should be ready to go when men are, and typically
Speaker 1: we're not. And I try to help people understand how
Speaker 1: they get attracted to each other and how to keep
Speaker 1: the spark going, and how people dating figure out what
Speaker 1: they wanted a partner and all the things. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, as a kid growing up in the
Speaker 1: years that I did, porn was a very it was
Speaker 1: you know, very easily accessible, and so honestly, that's kind
Speaker 1: of how I first started learning about sex. And um,
Speaker 1: I wanted to get your take on porn in general
Speaker 1: being a sex um experts such a good question. I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: I am a tech expert, say yeah, I know. Listen,
Speaker 1: porn is not how you should legitimately at porn. It's
Speaker 1: like it's like learning how to drive by watching Fast
Speaker 1: and the Furious, Like, like, porn is not actually how
Speaker 1: sex happens. But the problem is people that you grew
Speaker 1: up with support that we think that it's it's actually
Speaker 1: real life, but it's sort of it's created from And
Speaker 1: I'm not anti porn, don't get me wrong, Like I
Speaker 1: love watching porn myself with a partner. However, to say
Speaker 1: that this is technically how sex is going to go
Speaker 1: down is not accurate. Like it's a fictional account of
Speaker 1: sex from a male day what they think would be hot, right,
Speaker 1: But for women. It just doesn't work that way. So
Speaker 1: it's very confusing, and it's made sex really confusing I
Speaker 1: think for many people. Yeah, I mean especially porn is teaching.
Speaker 1: You know, the demographic that was watching most porn is
Speaker 1: younger men, probably boys, you know, and they're antienage years
Speaker 1: and so, um, you know, not to get t m
Speaker 1: I here, but like I can speak from personal opinion,
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, that like, yeah, it's just it teaches you.
Speaker 1: It's like it's weird, right because we're all human and
Speaker 1: I think at our core we kind of have these
Speaker 1: animal instincts, and it's just like I feel like porn
Speaker 1: has escalated sex to the point of no return, you know,
Speaker 1: like it just it's like you watch certain videos and
Speaker 1: I think, guy, I think both guys and girls have
Speaker 1: been kind of thrown into this culture of where, you know,
Speaker 1: we watched certain porn and we grow up with it
Speaker 1: and we think that that's like the sexiest thing that
Speaker 1: someone can possibly do, and if we don't meet those standards,
Speaker 1: then um, we're we're not as good as the other
Speaker 1: person in bed. Sex is a weird thing to talk
Speaker 1: about because it's everybody is so insecure about it and right,
Speaker 1: like I get insecure about it all the time. I
Speaker 1: remember as like I remember as a kid, you know,
Speaker 1: not like in my early twenties, I I didn't have
Speaker 1: that many partners at this point in my life, you know,
Speaker 1: less than a handful and um, and it was always
Speaker 1: just I I never knew if if I was doing
Speaker 1: things right, and I never knew if, um, what was
Speaker 1: expected of me. And then especially you know, it was sex.
Speaker 1: It's just like each partner wants so many it's you know,
Speaker 1: different things. Like it's just there's there's I don't know.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to I wanted you it to address,
Speaker 1: like how how early do you bring up these conversations
Speaker 1: because like I've had, I have friends that are girls
Speaker 1: that you know, a guy when they first you know,
Speaker 1: have to go on a couple of days, will first
Speaker 1: start getting intimate with each other, and then like the
Speaker 1: guy is not aggressive enough and the girl finds that
Speaker 1: to be a turn off. But I feel like in
Speaker 1: in this age that we're living in, that's probably better
Speaker 1: than you know, what the alternative is, which is being
Speaker 1: too aggressive. I don't know, So, like, can you describe
Speaker 1: the balance of like, you know, sex in today's society
Speaker 1: and how we should be able to talk about it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so great and so exciteful. You're absolutely right. So
Speaker 1: first let's oh my god, there's a lot there and impact,
Speaker 1: and I think it could be so great for your listeners. No,
Speaker 1: it's amazing because here's the thing. And I love that
Speaker 1: you're asking this because it's like, okay, so to talk
Speaker 1: about porn for a minute. So generations before that, right,
Speaker 1: like we had like our parents, Erica had a Playboy, right,
Speaker 1: you taught us with it, like there was like a
Speaker 1: Playboy and then there was like some weird VHS tape
Speaker 1: is porn, But otherwise you would just have sex and
Speaker 1: you have to kind of have to figure it out.
Speaker 1: We still had a lot of we still didn't have
Speaker 1: the savements, we didn't have information, we didn't teach in schools.
Speaker 1: We still had to figure stuff about like orgasm and
Speaker 1: pleasure and desire. But now with porn, which is literally
Speaker 1: not an active But since you won't get any other information,
Speaker 1: let's just say that all you get is porn. Of course,
Speaker 1: men and women, boys and girls are going to decide
Speaker 1: if that's how sex should happen. I should like women
Speaker 1: are thinking, well, when I'm on top, I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: up and down and I'm not going to move side
Speaker 1: to because that's what I'm seeing im porn. When the
Speaker 1: truth is there's certain positions that are picked it imporn
Speaker 1: that actually don't feel good to women, Like as a
Speaker 1: sex educator and a sex factor, I'm looking at porn going,
Speaker 1: there's no way she's having an orgasts and like that
Speaker 1: doesn't even feel good to her, right because I know
Speaker 1: I'm like watching it's like you guys, know, like you
Speaker 1: cheat towards camera when you're shooting something for television, try
Speaker 1: the same thing in porn, like there's no ways that
Speaker 1: is after it. And then so women are they're coming
Speaker 1: into it going, well, I never saw anything else before,
Speaker 1: so this is what I'm gonna do. And then the
Speaker 1: guys are also expecting like, well, I got to excalate
Speaker 1: it because porn doesn't still show really important things like
Speaker 1: for play and arousal and like kissing and missing out
Speaker 1: and all those things that goes right into penetration, and
Speaker 1: so that for the majority of women isn't what feels good.
Speaker 1: So the problem with porn is that the majority of
Speaker 1: it isn't what feels good to women. So so that
Speaker 1: is why it's still misleading. And I and I and
Speaker 1: and that we also the problem is if I took
Speaker 1: away all porn right now, which I wish in some ways,
Speaker 1: I wish we could start over. I would teach men
Speaker 1: and women first off, how to understand their own bodies
Speaker 1: and what feels it, like what actually does turn you on?
Speaker 1: Because what you to go back to what you said
Speaker 1: initially was about like it keeps escalating. I think that
Speaker 1: was the word you use, like porn escalates it. And
Speaker 1: so what we're seeing now is it's funny because right
Speaker 1: now everyone's locked in their bedrooms right like, I'm getting
Speaker 1: so many, so many d m s and so many emails.
Speaker 1: And if people have questions and listening to this, you
Speaker 1: can I'm sex and Emily, I knew everywhere feedback at
Speaker 1: Texas Emily dot com. We answer all the questions. But
Speaker 1: it's like so many guys are locked in their room
Speaker 1: and they're like, I'm just watching porn right now? Is
Speaker 1: there a problem? And not? I've escalated to watching it
Speaker 1: like eight hours a day or masturbating five times a day.
Speaker 1: And we escalated because let's say we watch a scene
Speaker 1: that's particularly graphics well, once we get through that our threshold,
Speaker 1: we're like, well that was pretty crazy, but now I'm
Speaker 1: going to watch a gang bang and something out whatever
Speaker 1: however you define escalation, And then it gets more and
Speaker 1: more extreme, right, And then eventually for guys, is what
Speaker 1: I'm hearing, Well, then you can no longer get turned
Speaker 1: on unless it's really extreme. Right, So then what happened
Speaker 1: Now we're out locked at bedrooms though, right, some people
Speaker 1: without partners. And then so that's the problem that's always
Speaker 1: been a problem before quarantine, but now I just see
Speaker 1: it escalating with people watching more and more parts. But
Speaker 1: even before then we get to be with our actual partner, right,
Speaker 1: and then we're like, oh, I'm not getting turned on
Speaker 1: anymore because it's not as extreme as what I'm seeing
Speaker 1: in porn. Because the synapses in our brain, because that
Speaker 1: the neural pathways become used to a certain kind of escalation,
Speaker 1: whether it's like a threesome or a gang bang or
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you beds them. And then when
Speaker 1: you're with an actual partner, that connection doesn't seem as
Speaker 1: intimate or as hot, right, And so that's the problem.
Speaker 1: And so so I think and then for women, since
Speaker 1: they're only learning to through porns. They're not understanding that
Speaker 1: for women, the majority of women, So let me tell
Speaker 1: you a big stat here to get into what we
Speaker 1: need to learn is that only twenty of women are
Speaker 1: going to have an orgasm through penetration, meaning the old
Speaker 1: in and out, which is what we're seeing everywhere and
Speaker 1: even before porn, like you see the movies like couple
Speaker 1: makes out and they fall into bag and there's like
Speaker 1: this super hot scene you know they have they have
Speaker 1: in a course, and then there's orgasm cabining. But most
Speaker 1: women require external stimulation like c literal stimulation externally. She
Speaker 1: needs like four pray is not just like hey, I
Speaker 1: a suggestion like oh I wish we could make out more.
Speaker 1: It's actually requirement because women get turned on very differently
Speaker 1: than men. So women are faking orgasms and trying to
Speaker 1: do what they see in porn, and that's not actually
Speaker 1: feels good. So what's the great thing to do is
Speaker 1: if you're in a relationship is to slow everything down
Speaker 1: and to actually have conversations outside the bedroom about what
Speaker 1: is hot, what does turn you on, what kind of
Speaker 1: touch feels good? And all of that starts with masterization
Speaker 1: for men and for women, And I would say especially
Speaker 1: for women without porn, like just and for men I
Speaker 1: would say that too. But then you guys just like
Speaker 1: hang up on me and be like what the porn
Speaker 1: I did for But for women, like what does feels
Speaker 1: like you like pay attention to, like your body, like
Speaker 1: using your finger is using lube? Like what turns you on?
Speaker 1: Because we just don't know, and we feel inadequate and
Speaker 1: broken because we don't it doesn't happen like it isn't porn.
Speaker 1: So I could keep going, But does that make sense?
Speaker 1: There's a lot there. I think you kind of touched
Speaker 1: on a little bit too. A lot of people are
Speaker 1: in this quarantine part of the year and they're gonna
Speaker 1: be alone. So what is your advice for those people
Speaker 1: that are alone? Uh, throughout all of this this process
Speaker 1: that we're going through now with COVID Nighteteam. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that if we're alone right now, and I
Speaker 1: think that it's really important to dectually and masturbate, just
Speaker 1: figure out your bodies and what feels good if you're
Speaker 1: alone without a partner. But it's also a good time
Speaker 1: to like explore and figure out what feels good. Besides porn.
Speaker 1: So if you feel like you've been getting going down
Speaker 1: the rabbit hole of porn, maybe just like scale it back,
Speaker 1: use your memory, like think about fantasize on your own,
Speaker 1: think about what you know, what feels good to you,
Speaker 1: what turns you on. UM. And then for women to
Speaker 1: like take the time to like take a bath, figure
Speaker 1: out what what's hot for you and just like because
Speaker 1: because then we can come back with our powner and say, like,
Speaker 1: this is what we like and this is what feels good. Um,
Speaker 1: if you're in a long term, if you're in a
Speaker 1: like so you mean, if you're like in a relationship
Speaker 1: though under quarantine, what you do or yeah, just like
Speaker 1: you for the people that are um, you know that
Speaker 1: obviously have these desires and urges while they're alone. I
Speaker 1: liked your advice, Emily, about as awkward as oh no,
Speaker 1: it's gonna have I really liked your advice. This is
Speaker 1: gonna sound really awkward, but whatever, we you know, sex
Speaker 1: is a part of life, and so is masturbation. I
Speaker 1: think if you are alone, I think especially guys out
Speaker 1: there and women to masturbate without porn, like you said,
Speaker 1: because there's such an escalation with porn that like you said,
Speaker 1: like you can see like literally you can google anything
Speaker 1: anything and you will be able to find it. And
Speaker 1: we live in a world where, for some reason, there's
Speaker 1: so much stigma around talking about sex and it's and
Speaker 1: I get it, it's awkward, but I I think, especially
Speaker 1: in today's world, with the access that we have with
Speaker 1: the Internet, we have to make sex more of a
Speaker 1: priority to talk about at a younger age because kids
Speaker 1: are finding out about it at a younger age, um
Speaker 1: with no context and no understanding of what it actually is.
Speaker 1: And I think it's it's it's not good, you know,
Speaker 1: it's really not good, and um so anyway, but I
Speaker 1: want to exactly know You're absolutely right, there's no context
Speaker 1: and kids are learning in school, so they just have
Speaker 1: shame and they blame maybe religion told him that text
Speaker 1: was wrong or it was really bad to talk to
Speaker 1: touch themselves. And so you know, that's what I've been
Speaker 1: trying to do for fifteen years. And my podcast is
Speaker 1: like educate people the guys can downloade so many episodes
Speaker 1: of just like how like it's basically people are understanding like, well,
Speaker 1: how do I masturbate without porn? How do I touch myself?
Speaker 1: How do I get rid of shame? How do I
Speaker 1: figure out what the hell I even like? So it's
Speaker 1: you're right, it's a it's gotten very messy, especially with porn.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean that's what we've got to do
Speaker 1: right now with times it's interesting putting it not be shameful.
Speaker 1: It's gonna get messy. Um. But I wanted to talk
Speaker 1: to you about couples to sex with couples because I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people are ashamed to buy
Speaker 1: toys or lube or things of that nature. What would
Speaker 1: you say to help people get over the um that
Speaker 1: that that challenge of I guess second hand embarrassment of bio. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a great question. And I think that first off,
Speaker 1: like here's the thing about toys, Like you've always think
Speaker 1: like many people get threatened by toys and they think, oh, well,
Speaker 1: if you use a toy, that means that I eil
Speaker 1: men think like I was satisfying you or somehow you're
Speaker 1: going to replace me if you use a toy. But like,
Speaker 1: literally that never happens. In fact, what it does is
Speaker 1: it just means that, like since I was telling you
Speaker 1: that for the majority of the women, we need external
Speaker 1: stimulation anyway, and in the vibrations, like your penis doesn't
Speaker 1: vibrate right, So I just want to start there to
Speaker 1: day like toys, and actually toys feel great for men
Speaker 1: and for women as well. So just knowing that that
Speaker 1: like toy is are really hard. It a looks like
Speaker 1: having a threesome. It's like something new and exciting, because
Speaker 1: the reason how we crave something like a threesome is novelty.
Speaker 1: It's new, it's exciting, it's different. Same goes for toys.
Speaker 1: It can provide endless orgasms, so much pleasure, and so yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that the first rather than just bringing one
Speaker 1: on your partner being like, look what I bought you,
Speaker 1: I think all this stuff stuff comes down to communication
Speaker 1: and talking to your partner about it and and saying you
Speaker 1: know what I think, and especially now, like Jesus thing
Speaker 1: right now, order a toy, get some loo, but find
Speaker 1: something that's like a great there's some great couple of toys. Um.
Speaker 1: I love the brand we Vibe because they make they
Speaker 1: actually invented the first couple of toy that you could
Speaker 1: actually wear during intercourse. So she's getting internal stimulation and
Speaker 1: external and it feels great on him as well, but
Speaker 1: they also have an app and it's called we Connect.
Speaker 1: So if you're in the long distance relationship or quarantined
Speaker 1: right now, you could actually launch the app and you
Speaker 1: can control your partner's toys from anywhere in the world.
Speaker 1: Plus it has like a FaceTime component to it, so
Speaker 1: you could watch each other like you could watch each other.
Speaker 1: It's pretty cool. So and I have a bunch of
Speaker 1: stuff on my site, such a nay dot com when
Speaker 1: your view toys all the time. But I would say
Speaker 1: anything by we Vibe getting a poplish toy and this experimenting.
Speaker 1: So yes, I'm all for toys. And let me tell
Speaker 1: you about lube. I think that lube is so underrated.
Speaker 1: It has a huge stigma because what happen with lube
Speaker 1: is I think a lot of guys felt like if
Speaker 1: I use lube, it means that I didn't turn her on,
Speaker 1: I didn't get her wet enough. And what I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell you is that women's wetness level, I want you,
Speaker 1: guys to be like sitting down, which you probably are,
Speaker 1: A woman's wetness level is not an indicator of her
Speaker 1: being turned on. So she could be wet and turned
Speaker 1: on or or turned on and not wet because it
Speaker 1: changes the different parts of the month. And I'm not
Speaker 1: saying she's never not wet and turned on, but when
Speaker 1: you add so, it's not a clear indicator because our
Speaker 1: bodies change certain times a month all that stuff. So
Speaker 1: if you just add a few drops the lube, my
Speaker 1: dream is like a lueb every night. Then before you
Speaker 1: have any kind of sex like oral sex penetration, it
Speaker 1: will change the game. Women are more likely to orgasm,
Speaker 1: there's less tear, there's less chances for like um tearing
Speaker 1: or for injection. Just add a few drops on your
Speaker 1: penis robin inter clitter. It's before you have sex every time.
Speaker 1: It is a game changer, more orgasms, more pleasure. How
Speaker 1: about that? Yeah, I love I love where this podcast
Speaker 1: is getting really created too. I appreciate that was like
Speaker 1: a mic drop moment right there. Deana and I were stunned. No,
Speaker 1: I I agree, I uh, I got. I'm a big
Speaker 1: proponent for LOUP because there's also like there's also like
Speaker 1: I have no shame talking about it. There's like there's
Speaker 1: medications too that certain people will take that inhibit their
Speaker 1: sex drive. Oh yeah, and so exactly, and a depressant
Speaker 1: blood pressure. Yeah, everything true. A great way to inhibit
Speaker 1: your sex drive is to break your femur and then
Speaker 1: get covered in poison ivy. It really does great things
Speaker 1: for your sex drive. Ah wait, what happened? Did that
Speaker 1: happen to you? Yeah, I'm recovering from a broken leg
Speaker 1: and I poison eye all over my body. Both happened
Speaker 1: to him. Oh no, I was gonna be missing because
Speaker 1: of those things, you know. Yeah? Absolutely, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Well that's there, you go. There's just spark.
Speaker 1: But she could give you a hand job with lube
Speaker 1: and you could use you could wash your hands and
Speaker 1: touch her with them. I'm telling you guys. Mutual masturbation
Speaker 1: is also really hot. And I think that the way
Speaker 1: we think about sex and it's all about penetration and
Speaker 1: it's literally you could both get off, you could do oral,
Speaker 1: you could like get creative. Right now. I think this
Speaker 1: is a time where we want variety anyway, And I
Speaker 1: think if I could change people's perspective about how we
Speaker 1: think about sex, it's like, well, if I can't put
Speaker 1: my penis inside of you, then it's over. It's like
Speaker 1: so not true. There's so many other ways to get off.
Speaker 1: You guys could watch porn together, like that's where I
Speaker 1: think porn is actually helpful. Or get its toy that
Speaker 1: she could use on you or you use it on her.
Speaker 1: So you guys can still touch with touch me. You
Speaker 1: can't move, you know. So I did ask these questions
Speaker 1: all the time, like it doesn't have to be just
Speaker 1: about that, like get creative in your mind about and
Speaker 1: I think also though the problem with that if you
Speaker 1: might be thinking or your listeners are thinking, yeah, that
Speaker 1: sounds great, but my girlfriend won't talk about masturbation, or
Speaker 1: my boyfriend thinks it's shameful, and that's what happens a lot,
Speaker 1: and the only thing keeping us from having better sex
Speaker 1: and from connecting it is that is it is talking
Speaker 1: about it and learning how to get past the shame
Speaker 1: and the weirdness of it and saying like, okay, babe,
Speaker 1: I know we've never talked about sex. I get that.
Speaker 1: I know it's weird, but it's so important that we
Speaker 1: have great sex and we prioritize our pleasure and it's
Speaker 1: important to me and I've never talked on either. This
Speaker 1: is awkward, let's admit it, awkward, weird moment, but I
Speaker 1: think it's worth it. So about like, you know, can
Speaker 1: you give a piece of advice of how somebody might
Speaker 1: be able to broach that conversation, Like any listener out
Speaker 1: there who's thinking they want to talk about it, you know,
Speaker 1: to anybody there, partner or a friendly do you have
Speaker 1: a piece of ice for them to be like, this
Speaker 1: is how you can be able to broach the conversation. Okay,
Speaker 1: so here's what you do. So my number one tip
Speaker 1: is to do it outside the bedroom. Okay, So what
Speaker 1: happens is we often think, oh, I think weird happening
Speaker 1: in the moment, I you you're hurting my penis? Or
Speaker 1: we should you know, and we talk about in the
Speaker 1: bedroom we get it? How can we never have sex anymore?
Speaker 1: How can we did an initiate or I just tried
Speaker 1: to initiate. That's the wrong way to do it. Actually,
Speaker 1: do you never want to talk about your sex in
Speaker 1: a constructive way in the bedroom. The bedroom is for
Speaker 1: sleeping and for sex. Okay, let's just say that. So
Speaker 1: how you do want to approach it is when you
Speaker 1: guys are like hanging out, you're and right now we're
Speaker 1: all hanging out. So maybe if you are a long
Speaker 1: distance with your partner quarantined. It's not a it's not
Speaker 1: a FaceTime call. You're having a date night on FaceTime,
Speaker 1: or you're just hanging out on the couch. You guys
Speaker 1: are in a good place, the chilling, your relaxed, and
Speaker 1: then you say, hey, you know what I realized. I
Speaker 1: realized that we haven't much talked about our sex life
Speaker 1: really like about like, I want to be your greatest lover,
Speaker 1: like I think we both you know, you guys make
Speaker 1: this your own, but I want to be great lovers
Speaker 1: to each other. I want to figure out what's really
Speaker 1: hot to you. And because I think one of you
Speaker 1: said this earlier that every partner is different, Like we
Speaker 1: also think that our last partner, watch what this current
Speaker 1: partner was. But I'm telling you, if I put a
Speaker 1: hundred women in a room and they were all touching themselves,
Speaker 1: they would all be doing something different. And that's really
Speaker 1: hard for men because the vagina is like the rubist
Speaker 1: scud of life. Like you're like, what do I do here?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm just imagining in a room. It's kind
Speaker 1: of hot right that your next I don't like, I
Speaker 1: mean good for them, but I just don't know if
Speaker 1: I'd be able to not last. Just like if there's
Speaker 1: a hundred dudes in the room just touching themselves. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm not looking, but I'm probably laughing, right, I
Speaker 1: hear you. I mean women, but we're all this is
Speaker 1: what I'm thinking that you can't possibly because they just
Speaker 1: said I want to talk about it. Now we're going
Speaker 1: to happen in this moment, She or he could say,
Speaker 1: or if you're with the same sex, whatever, whatever, whoever
Speaker 1: didul you're part of it. Be like, O, what do
Speaker 1: you mean? Do you think what they might think is
Speaker 1: I'm gonna walk this through all this scenarios, she might say.
Speaker 1: She might think to herself, Oh, I'm really bad in bed.
Speaker 1: He thinks I'm a terrible lover. He's talking about sex
Speaker 1: because I gave him a bad blow job last night.
Speaker 1: Or I don't know what I'm doing because we're also God,
Speaker 1: Dave meant to cure about it, because no one's ever
Speaker 1: talked to us about it, right. He used to reassure
Speaker 1: and say no. And this is what I tell my
Speaker 1: listeners all the time. They're like, lame it on me.
Speaker 1: So you were listening to this podcasts and you were
Speaker 1: driving along listening to Dr Emily, and she said you
Speaker 1: should talk about sex, and you haven't yet like realized, no,
Speaker 1: I've never done this either. Let's get on the same
Speaker 1: page and figure out how we can be great lovers
Speaker 1: to each other. Like, it's not sex, it's not something
Speaker 1: that like, well, because sex is always great at the
Speaker 1: beginning of a relationship because and the only reason that
Speaker 1: is it's because it's biological. It's something that's new and exciting,
Speaker 1: and like all of our brain waves are like it's
Speaker 1: like literally, if you look at the brain wave patterns
Speaker 1: of someone falling in love, it's the same as someone
Speaker 1: on cocaine because it's exciting, the dopamine, the serotonin, and
Speaker 1: so we don't really need to talk. We think we
Speaker 1: don't need to talk about sex in the first three
Speaker 1: months in the honeymoon faith. But what happens is we
Speaker 1: equalized after that point and everything becomes sort of boring
Speaker 1: or groat, and then we'll no longer turned on in
Speaker 1: the same way and we don't how to talk about it.
Speaker 1: That's why we end relationships typically. But this is the
Speaker 1: point where you talk about it and you don't. You
Speaker 1: don't have to say it's gotten boring or weird. You
Speaker 1: just say, you know what, I realized that to be
Speaker 1: great lovers the number one thing. And every sex therapist
Speaker 1: spect educator will tell you this. It's about healthy communication.
Speaker 1: It's not about fancy moves, it's not about looking at
Speaker 1: a lot of porn and like having all these tricks.
Speaker 1: It's literally about communication, saying like, what is hot to you?
Speaker 1: Can you like like starting with like, And a lot
Speaker 1: of times your partner won't know because literally no one
Speaker 1: has talked about this. And my mission on the planet
Speaker 1: is to make sex not taboos, to make it not shameful,
Speaker 1: and to have it taught everywhere so we all feel
Speaker 1: comfortable because we have a lot better relationships. So then
Speaker 1: you need to say, well, what's the hottest moment you
Speaker 1: can remember from our sex life, Like, what are the
Speaker 1: three top times we've had sex? And she might so
Speaker 1: that would be really interesting. She might say, well, it
Speaker 1: was that time that you made me that really sexy
Speaker 1: dinner and my roommates were gone, or you surprised me
Speaker 1: and where we were on vacation, and then you find out, oh,
Speaker 1: she liked element of surprise, she liked that I went
Speaker 1: out in her for a half hours. She liked that
Speaker 1: we made out first, you know, and then you just
Speaker 1: kind of find out what was hot, you know. And
Speaker 1: I have a lot of great tools on my site too.
Speaker 1: I have something called a yes no maybe list, and
Speaker 1: that's something that asks a bunch of sex acts, right
Speaker 1: like kissing, saking, dirty talks, and then you each fill
Speaker 1: it out separately and you write like yes no maybe
Speaker 1: on certain sex acts and then you can compare like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I didn't know you wanted to talk dirty, said I,
Speaker 1: or you know, like you did sort of. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of different tools to help you guys along this conversation.
Speaker 1: I could go on and on, but that's really what
Speaker 1: it is like getting curious, not shaming, not blaming, and
Speaker 1: being open discovery. Now it's also not a one time conversation.
Speaker 1: It's ongoing and the more you talk about it's like
Speaker 1: everything else. That's that's my advice. No, you've you've been
Speaker 1: very insightful and we really appreciate you joining us. Emily.
Speaker 1: So you have your your podcast, your daily radio show
Speaker 1: Sex with Emily, UM and what else? What else you
Speaker 1: have going on right now? I have? Um, I that's
Speaker 1: really what I do. I do a daily show on Serious.
Speaker 1: I've got my podcasting right now. During the quarantine, I'm
Speaker 1: doing a ton of like Instagram live, Facebook Live. I'm
Speaker 1: doing a lot more content, just answering people's questions. Like
Speaker 1: almost every night I'm doing something. It's Sex with Emily
Speaker 1: Everywhere because we're all in like home, freaking out trying
Speaker 1: to figure out what to do. So that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 1: And where can they find you on social Sex with
Speaker 1: Emily Everywhere? My My podcast Instagram is Affect of Emily.
Speaker 1: Pretty simple. Well, Emily, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: Everybody go follow Emily right now. Sex with Emily, listen
Speaker 1: to our podcast following on social media. Uh, Emily, stay
Speaker 1: safe out there, wash your hands you too, you too?
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me guys, of course you all right.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to help I suck a dating. We just
Speaker 1: had a very insightful conversation with Emily Morris, the sex expert.
Speaker 1: De in any comments. Uh no, she loved me speechless. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I found it very insightful. I like talking about sex.
Speaker 1: I think more people should be open about talking about
Speaker 1: that topic. It's just like it's just sex, But I get,
Speaker 1: I get it's awkward and sometimes it can get too far.
Speaker 1: But the older I get, the more comfortable I get
Speaker 1: talking about it, not only with my partner, but with
Speaker 1: just who I like, my friends and whoever else. I
Speaker 1: just think it takes a little bit time to get
Speaker 1: comfortable more and more comfortable with it, you know. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I agree, It's just like it's just like anything in life.
Speaker 1: Like you said, the more the older you get, the
Speaker 1: more comfortable you get talking about it, the less you
Speaker 1: feel shameful about it. And so I think for me,
Speaker 1: the more we have that conversation, the more a younger
Speaker 1: generation will feel the same way. Uh, Because again I
Speaker 1: think it's just like this, this this activity that especially
Speaker 1: you know, people in their twenties or just so oblivious
Speaker 1: to I don't know. Uh. We do have some emails
Speaker 1: from our wonderful listeners and we have some questions to
Speaker 1: um that Dean and I are going to get into
Speaker 1: right now. So we have an email from j uh
Speaker 1: not me, even though I'm very curious about this topic
Speaker 1: as well. The subject is Dean's ring and the email says, so, Dean,
Speaker 1: whether or not you're engaged. I was just wondering, is that? Uh?
Speaker 1: On yex silver on the ring and who made it? Congrats?
Speaker 1: I think you wear it well. So one he wants
Speaker 1: to know about the ring and uh, are you engaged? Bro?
Speaker 1: It's it's X on X. Excuse me, I'm an idiot.
Speaker 1: I actually don't know what it is. I think it's
Speaker 1: on X and silver. Maybe got it for me, So
Speaker 1: I can't speak exactly to what it is. Uh, but
Speaker 1: I always knew that I wanted to have a black
Speaker 1: band on and so that's what I got. I do.
Speaker 1: I do have to say I was trying rings on
Speaker 1: after I got missed one and there was this comfort
Speaker 1: fit style one that I have made a big difference
Speaker 1: compared to the one that I have on. Now, what's
Speaker 1: the kind it's like? It's like because my ring now
Speaker 1: it's like kind of big and blocky looking, but the
Speaker 1: comfort ones like has these rounded edges on it. That's
Speaker 1: pretty cool. That sounds like your smile. I might trade
Speaker 1: it in a little bit, in a little bit, I
Speaker 1: don't know, TB D. But um, I can't to get
Speaker 1: the question. I can't answer it directly because I don't
Speaker 1: know exactly because Kalin got it for me. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it is like an ONYX silver black ring. Do you
Speaker 1: think Kalin got you a big ring so everybody can
Speaker 1: see it, even all the women who look at your
Speaker 1: left hand. It's possible. So I know that you're taken
Speaker 1: man everything. It's just a concert reminder to me too,
Speaker 1: you know, I looked down and if it's if it
Speaker 1: wasn't as big as it is, I probably would miss
Speaker 1: it every once in a while. So does Klin wear
Speaker 1: a ring too? She wears a ring? Correct? She Yeah,
Speaker 1: she wears a lot of rings. Yeah. But does she
Speaker 1: wear a ring on her ring finger on her left hand,
Speaker 1: the one right next to the pinky, Yeah, she does.
Speaker 1: That's very nice. Is it symbolize anything? Is there like
Speaker 1: a meaning behind it or anything like that. I don't
Speaker 1: know what you're gonna get her. I can I can
Speaker 1: go ask her. I mean, if you guys are in
Speaker 1: the same household and she ain't doing nothing, I mean,
Speaker 1: I can't believe I just said eight, but I I
Speaker 1: think it looks think he's working out. I don't want
Speaker 1: to disrupt your Okay, that's that's that's fair enough. But
Speaker 1: my question to you is, so, why do you guys,
Speaker 1: why are you guys playing it so koy so? Because
Speaker 1: you know everybody in the world, Like, I get more
Speaker 1: questions about your marriage than I do about mine, and
Speaker 1: nobody even knows if you're married. Yeah, that's weird. I
Speaker 1: wish I could answer that, but it's it's not my place.
Speaker 1: It's kind of Kalin's thing. So so we gotta get
Speaker 1: Kalin on the podcast. But you said that if Kalin
Speaker 1: comes on the podcast, you don't want to be on
Speaker 1: the podcast because you don't want to do joint interviews
Speaker 1: right now because you just feel like it adds pressure. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I understand. At some point there's gonna be a time
Speaker 1: where maybe we could have, like Klin and Ashley host
Speaker 1: an episode of help by Secred Dating and then you
Speaker 1: guys they can talk about that. That's actually good idea
Speaker 1: what they think about it. Yeah, I actually really like
Speaker 1: that idea. Let me ask you something about the quarantine
Speaker 1: in your relationship. Do you think as of right now,
Speaker 1: we've been quarantined for two weeks, you guys have been
Speaker 1: in one household. Do you think it's helped your relationship,
Speaker 1: hasn't changed anything in your relationship or worse than your relationship. Um,
Speaker 1: that's a really good question. I think it hasn't changed anything.
Speaker 1: I mean basically whenever, whenever we're around, we spend all
Speaker 1: together anyways, and so this is no different. It's just
Speaker 1: now it's like a lot of time. Six weeks in
Speaker 1: a caramps department is like a long time to spend
Speaker 1: something one But I mean, it's not like we weren't
Speaker 1: we basically we're already doing this before the quarantine anyways,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Same with you. And actually
Speaker 1: I feel like you guys were you guys are constantly together,
Speaker 1: and so like this doesn't really feel like that much
Speaker 1: of a shift for you. I bet no, it doesn't
Speaker 1: feel like a shift at all. Ashley and I, because
Speaker 1: you know, we lived together, we're married, we kind of
Speaker 1: work together as well, a lot of the things we
Speaker 1: do are together, and so we spend so much time
Speaker 1: together before the quarantine that this doesn't feel any different either.
Speaker 1: And I think her and I just got lucky that,
Speaker 1: you know, we were friends for so long beforehand, that
Speaker 1: we really were able to figure each other out before
Speaker 1: we even started dating, which created this comfort level that I,
Speaker 1: you know, I've talked about in the podcast before, I
Speaker 1: never really experienced before. And it's it's been great, especially
Speaker 1: in this quarantine because it's just, you know, I truly
Speaker 1: don't get tired of her. Uh, and that's a really
Speaker 1: great quality to have. Last week, we were wrapping up
Speaker 1: recording episode, she popped on and was a little distraught.
Speaker 1: What ended up happening after we we signed off off air, Oh,
Speaker 1: it was fine. She just so her mom just had
Speaker 1: the you know, grandkid conversation and wants us to have
Speaker 1: kids a sap, which is very sweet. And I don't
Speaker 1: think anybody should knock that. It's just, you know, it
Speaker 1: would be a lot worse if it was the opposite,
Speaker 1: where she said she never wants us to have kids,
Speaker 1: and if we do, she's never going to speak to
Speaker 1: the grandkids. She just she wants grandkids. That's a wonderful thing.
Speaker 1: But I think it was just, uh, you know, it
Speaker 1: was Ashley and her mom, and I think it just
Speaker 1: got to a point where, you know, her mom started
Speaker 1: bringing up age and then it got Ashley upset and
Speaker 1: felt like she was being pressured, and it just kind
Speaker 1: of like snowballed. And then Ashley came up here and
Speaker 1: spoke about it on the podcast. It all worked out.
Speaker 1: They talked about it later, and of course her mom
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to pressure you whenever you
Speaker 1: guys want to have kids, but of course you know, um,
Speaker 1: she just wants kids down then that's really the crux
Speaker 1: of the conversation. And actually have often about that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff. No, I mean we talked about it. We're
Speaker 1: very but we're kind of on the same page where
Speaker 1: we want to wait too. You know, you know, the
Speaker 1: tentative plan quote unquote plan because everybody has plans to
Speaker 1: have kids when they want it never works out. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, we'd like to start trying later this year
Speaker 1: and kind of see what happens. But you know, I
Speaker 1: mean age plays a factor. I you know, actually will
Speaker 1: be thirty three next March, so say we don't get
Speaker 1: you know, say we're lucky and we you know, we
Speaker 1: get pregnant early next year. You know, she'll be thirty
Speaker 1: three through her pregnancy and then we'll have a kid.
Speaker 1: And if we want a second kid, you know, she'll
Speaker 1: be pregnant probably like thirty five. And so you know,
Speaker 1: when we start talking, we have conversations about you know,
Speaker 1: if we're lucky enough to have multiple kids that are
Speaker 1: healthy and you know thirty five. From my understanding, I
Speaker 1: needed to do more research about it, but it seems
Speaker 1: to be not a tipping point by any stretch. But
Speaker 1: you know you're at a higher risk. Uh for uh,
Speaker 1: I don't want to stay an unhealthy baby. But you
Speaker 1: know they always say that, right, like women at thirty
Speaker 1: five or more at high risk. But doesn't mean you
Speaker 1: can't have a kid. So I don't know. We talk
Speaker 1: We talked a lot about it, and we're pretty much
Speaker 1: on the same page about it, which is really nice. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's also really nice to know, you know, when
Speaker 1: we have kids parents from that, to tell your child
Speaker 1: that they were conceived during the Great Shutdown. I know, right,
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a lot of babies being born about
Speaker 1: nine ten months from now, just because what the hell
Speaker 1: else are you gonna do? There's only so much Netflix
Speaker 1: you can do without doing a little chilling, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean? What what Netflix shows are you been
Speaker 1: watching lately? We do. Obviously we're watching entire King because
Speaker 1: we feel like we're the only people on this planet
Speaker 1: who haven't seen it. So I'm three episodes in. It's good.
Speaker 1: It's not great, but I enjoy it. Yeah, we're two
Speaker 1: episodes in the Tigre King. It hasn't really hit us
Speaker 1: like it seems to have hit the other everyone else.
Speaker 1: I think the hype just got built up before we
Speaker 1: saw it. I think that's what really happened. I think
Speaker 1: people saw it realized how bad crazy these people are,
Speaker 1: and we're fascinated by it. And now everybody's catching up
Speaker 1: being like, oh wow, I heard this is the greatest
Speaker 1: thing ever. And you watch it and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's good, but I heard also gets better, So stay tuned. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: we'll give it a fair chance. Maybe three, episode five.
Speaker 1: But other than that, we watched, like I watched Don't
Speaker 1: f with Cats for the first time, which was really good. Um.
Speaker 1: And then we've been watching, like rewatching movies, um, like
Speaker 1: I showed Actually in Her Family Zodiac, which is a
Speaker 1: great film about the Zodiac Killer in San Francisco back
Speaker 1: in the nineteen sixties and seventies. Um. So we've just
Speaker 1: been like doing that and surprisingly, I want to ask
Speaker 1: you what you guys have been watching. But also I
Speaker 1: just want to say, surprisingly, I don't know if you
Speaker 1: agree with this. Do you feel like it's I haven't
Speaker 1: been that bored? How about you? Actually, I meant to
Speaker 1: ask you this at the top of the podcast, because
Speaker 1: I personally have been that bored either. I mean, there
Speaker 1: are days where I'm like, Okay, I'm doing the same
Speaker 1: thing I did yesterday and the day before, but like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I can find ways to entertain myself
Speaker 1: pretty easily. But part of that is because I like
Speaker 1: to play video games and you're not much of a gamer.
Speaker 1: You are, but maybe uh not with actually his parents,
Speaker 1: So like, what do you do the past the time?
Speaker 1: If you're not watching Netflix or you know, just sitting
Speaker 1: on the question TV. I play a little video games,
Speaker 1: but like the TV and Ashley's room is very very
Speaker 1: small and old and so it's it's kind of hard
Speaker 1: to see. Um, but I like I'll play Madden every
Speaker 1: once in a while, or NBA two K, or like
Speaker 1: I play Fortnite. But usually if I play a video game,
Speaker 1: it's like for an hour and then I get bored
Speaker 1: and need to do something else. But uh yeah, l A,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, because I knew once we left l A,
Speaker 1: I knew there was we're probably gonna be on the
Speaker 1: East Coast for at least a month, and so oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I was bringing my Xbox. I wasn't gonna come here
Speaker 1: without it. Um, I thought that you went, what that is?
Speaker 1: That's smart. That's smart. Now I planned, you know, we
Speaker 1: planned for like potentially being over here for a month,
Speaker 1: which is why we came over here at first. Um,
Speaker 1: and then obviously that's going to be extended, uh to
Speaker 1: who knows really because you know, the entire country is
Speaker 1: large parts of it, uh you know are on mandatory
Speaker 1: stay at home orders and you know, we'll see where
Speaker 1: this goes. Right now, looks like April could be longer,
Speaker 1: probably will be longer. But um, but yeah, man, so
Speaker 1: have you shown, like, have you shown Kalin any movies
Speaker 1: that you love? Like, do you have a movie that
Speaker 1: you need your significant other to see? Like? For me,
Speaker 1: I needed Ashley to see The Matrix, even if she
Speaker 1: didn't like it. I just needed her to watch it
Speaker 1: because of my love for that movie. Do you have
Speaker 1: any movies like that that you have to show Calin Um.
Speaker 1: That's funny because I make Calan watched The Matrix trilogy
Speaker 1: like a couple of months ago, and she actually liked it.
Speaker 1: She watched all three. I'm so jealous. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: a good couple of days. Um. I made her watch
Speaker 1: a little bit of Fight Club the other day. But
Speaker 1: we didn't really finish it. We kind of got distracted. Uh.
Speaker 1: Interstellar is my favorite movie of all time. I think
Speaker 1: we'll probably watch that in the next week or so.
Speaker 1: But I haven't really made her. I'm I'm not making her.
Speaker 1: But I've been watching like Entourage casually, casually a little bit,
Speaker 1: and uh, it's funny to see her reaction because Entourage
Speaker 1: is just such a show that's Taylor specifically for like
Speaker 1: an eighteen year old guy. Uh, and then so to
Speaker 1: like see her reacted like some of the things that
Speaker 1: they say and do, and it's kind of funny to see.
Speaker 1: But other than that, she's like been watching a lot
Speaker 1: of Gossip Girls. So I'll like watch a couple of
Speaker 1: episodes of Gossip Girl with her, and uh, that's about it. Really,
Speaker 1: I haven't I haven't like sat her down and forced
Speaker 1: her to watch the movie. There's like an anime movie
Speaker 1: that I really like that was pretty influential in my childhood.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll make her watch that at some point. It's
Speaker 1: called Acura. Yeah, it's it's a weird movie. It's like
Speaker 1: super weird, but it's one of the greatest animal movies
Speaker 1: of all time. I think, so maybe maybe I'll make
Speaker 1: her suffer through that this sometime this week. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's what they do at the quarantine. We just make
Speaker 1: the other persons suffer through movies we love, and then
Speaker 1: we have to suffer through movies they love. You know,
Speaker 1: that's a relationship right there. I got her, uh. She
Speaker 1: I asked her like a month ago, what her favorite
Speaker 1: picture is that she ever took, uh, And she showed
Speaker 1: me a couple of them, and I got her favorite
Speaker 1: picture turned into a puzzle, a big three ft by
Speaker 1: two ft puzzle of two pieces. And so we spent
Speaker 1: like the whole night putting that together a couple of
Speaker 1: nights ago. It's pretty fun. Well, Dean, that's the sweetest
Speaker 1: damn thing I've ever heard of my entire life. That
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Good for you. We need we need more puzzles. Honestly,
Speaker 1: that was like it took us a good four hours
Speaker 1: to finish two two piecessn't sound like a lot, and
Speaker 1: I was kind of disappointed. It was like the only
Speaker 1: option that they gave us for the amount of pieces.
Speaker 1: But then like actually putting it together, I was like,
Speaker 1: holy sh it, this is way harder than I thought
Speaker 1: it was gonna be. Was that the one you put
Speaker 1: on your Instagram? Yeah? Okay, yeah, that was a good time,
Speaker 1: lots good job. I was very invested to see you
Speaker 1: guys finish that puzzle. Oh my gosh. I wanted to
Speaker 1: give up so many times. But what we did was
Speaker 1: I got that a bit. It's a big four by
Speaker 1: thirty six inch puzzle, and then I ordered like a
Speaker 1: big frame for it, and then we're gonna hang it
Speaker 1: in her apartment too, so that way we'll always have
Speaker 1: like a momentum to remember from the quarantine times. Oh
Speaker 1: that's actually really cute and I like that. I gotta
Speaker 1: think we gotta do something like that. Hopefully we all
Speaker 1: make it out of here. Um, all right, let's do
Speaker 1: another email really quickly. This one's from Anonymous, because our
Speaker 1: anonymous is our favorite and as we determined last week, Anonymous,
Speaker 1: as we know, is our friend Nick Vile. So Nick
Speaker 1: Vile writes him, Uh, I'm kidding Anonymous as my ex cousin. Uh. So, basically,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old and dated a girl for almost
Speaker 1: two years. She broke my heart, but through time I healed.
Speaker 1: It's been over a year now and I can't help
Speaker 1: myself when I see pictures of her cousin on Instagram.
Speaker 1: She is also single, completely my type, and goes to
Speaker 1: a college in the same state as me. My ex
Speaker 1: is now with someone else, and me and her are
Speaker 1: both single. Her as in the cousin of the X,
Speaker 1: would it be bad to shoot my shot? I'm sure
Speaker 1: chances are slim as we meet once while as we
Speaker 1: met once while I was dating my now X, But
Speaker 1: I thought I would get your guys input on it,
Speaker 1: So my thoughts, Uh, Yeah, I mean, I guess it
Speaker 1: really depends on how long you dated. You did dated
Speaker 1: the X for two years. That's kind of a long relationship.
Speaker 1: How close is she with the cousin? Yeah, he has
Speaker 1: to address it immediately for it to at least not
Speaker 1: be as awkward as potentially it could be. Right, Like,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna read reach out via Instagram, game or whatever,
Speaker 1: we're like, Hey, is this super weird? I used to
Speaker 1: get your cousin obviously, what would you be interested in
Speaker 1: hanging out? Sometimes I don't think it's that weird. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's that weird either. Well, because I'm
Speaker 1: also kind of close with my cousins. Like there's a
Speaker 1: few cousins that are more like brother and sister to me.
Speaker 1: So I guess it depends on the relationship between the
Speaker 1: cousin and the ex, because if it would if like
Speaker 1: they reached out to a particular cousin and it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, my sister or like my brother, I don't know,
Speaker 1: then I'd have to see my ex all the time
Speaker 1: because then they'd be a part of the family, say
Speaker 1: they got married. I guess it's okay, Like, at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, just be adults about it. Personally,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a bit of an issue to
Speaker 1: reach out to your ex's cousin at this point, it
Speaker 1: seems like your ex has moved on, You've given yourself
Speaker 1: time to heal. Uh, it might be a little awkward
Speaker 1: at first, just to address the elephant in the room.
Speaker 1: And uh, I think you'd be okay, But that's gonna
Speaker 1: do it. For this week's episode of Help I Suck
Speaker 1: At Dating Quarantine, episode number two in the books, hopefully
Speaker 1: we can continue to refine and perfect our sound situation here. Um,
Speaker 1: but thank us for listening. Hopefully this helps you not
Speaker 1: be so bored while you're stuck in isolation as well,
Speaker 1: and uh, big thank you to our guests this week,
Speaker 1: who was the great sex expert Emily Morse. Be sure
Speaker 1: to check her out Sex with Emily, which airs every
Speaker 1: evening on Serious XM Stars Channel one, O nine and uh,
Speaker 1: next week, we were gonna this week we're gonna answer
Speaker 1: some Instagram questions, but we didn't have much time, So
Speaker 1: next week we're gonna go ahead and do that, So
Speaker 1: be sure to tune in next week on Help I
Speaker 1: Suck a Dating, where maybe we will suck just a
Speaker 1: little bit less. Follow Help I Suck at Dating on
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcast