Speaker 1: This is How Men Think and Gavin de grab and
Speaker 1: I hear radio podcasts. Hi, my name is Brooks like
Speaker 1: and welcome to the show. This is the How Men
Speaker 1: Think podcast where we dive into the minds of these
Speaker 1: goods serves sitting here with me today. So we have Rick,
Speaker 1: we have Ryan, we have Dimitri, and we're gonna get
Speaker 1: in plug in with Gavin later he's out on tour.
Speaker 1: But first off, gentlemen, how are you doing. Let's say that,
Speaker 1: let's bring you in doing well? Doing well? You look well?
Speaker 1: Thank you? Okay, Well, here's the thing. Last week, at
Speaker 1: the end of the show, we had Ryan's friend. Ryan
Speaker 1: proposed a situation that his friend was going through and
Speaker 1: we had an enormous response and out just an outrageous
Speaker 1: amount of emails about what to do in this situation. So, Ryan,
Speaker 1: can you tee up for anybody that didn't listen to
Speaker 1: the last episode, can you tee up the scenario? Scenario?
Speaker 1: And then we're gonna give our response to what we
Speaker 1: think we would do in that. So they should go
Speaker 1: back and listen to the last episode. Wait, wait, well done,
Speaker 1: You're a better salesman than I and pause. Yeah, So
Speaker 1: what is the scenario and then we'll give our response.
Speaker 1: So the scenario is a buddy of mine um he
Speaker 1: and his now wife were having a lot of trouble
Speaker 1: to conceive. They've gone through two rounds of IVF. She
Speaker 1: was previously married uh, and after the second failed round
Speaker 1: of IVF, she said to him, look, I really want
Speaker 1: to start a family with you, and we've gone through
Speaker 1: two rounds of IVF and we're unsuccessful and I'm, you know,
Speaker 1: getting older, and I don't know if it's ever going
Speaker 1: to happen. I don't biologically, I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: in the cards for us. But I have a solution,
Speaker 1: hear me out. The solution is my ex husband and
Speaker 1: I went through IVF as well, and I have three
Speaker 1: viable embryos on ice with his sperm that I could
Speaker 1: implant tomorrow and we could have a baby together and
Speaker 1: raise that baby as our own, the only copulation being
Speaker 1: it will be my ex husband's sperm and technically his baby.
Speaker 1: And there's resentment for the X right from the current husband.
Speaker 1: There's resently does not like this guy. Yes, exactly right,
Speaker 1: I mean yes, yes. So a lot of people weighed
Speaker 1: in right because with a ton of emails. So we
Speaker 1: had a ton of emails, and everybody the over overwhelmingly,
Speaker 1: I shouldn't say everybody overwhelmingly people said no. They could
Speaker 1: not get to the point of like, because we asked
Speaker 1: the question, if you were that guy in this relationship,
Speaker 1: would you say to your wife, yes, let's take the
Speaker 1: embryo from you and your ex and implant and try
Speaker 1: and get pregnant that way, And overwhelmingly you guys responded
Speaker 1: with no. What do you what is your what is
Speaker 1: your feeling on the situation? What would you guys do?
Speaker 1: My feeling is what I started. What I said a
Speaker 1: little bit at the last the end of the last
Speaker 1: episode was um, you know, there's a lot of kids
Speaker 1: that that need home. So I think you look at
Speaker 1: adoption if this is a real problem. But what I
Speaker 1: think is the bottom line when it comes to is
Speaker 1: there's nothing more incredible than the feeling of being a dad. Okay,
Speaker 1: so it sounds like these two really want to be parents.
Speaker 1: I say, figure out what's best for you. Whether that's adoption,
Speaker 1: I don't. What I will say is, if you're going
Speaker 1: to use these embryos from a from a man that
Speaker 1: you have resentment towards you have to make sure that
Speaker 1: you're okay with it because once that baby is born,
Speaker 1: that's your baby and you cannot have any of those
Speaker 1: feelings towards that baby. Well that you really got to
Speaker 1: think this through, is what I'm saying. So you have
Speaker 1: to be a d percent sure before you do this. Okay,
Speaker 1: But here's the thing, Like I said, people are people
Speaker 1: become Um, you know stepfathers two kids that are that
Speaker 1: are from someone else, and they they love them and
Speaker 1: they they accept them, whether they like the father or not.
Speaker 1: So it can be done. But what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: you look at adoption and you figure out and if
Speaker 1: this is what you want to do, then you do
Speaker 1: it and you be and you be the best parent
Speaker 1: that you could. Difference with the stepfather of it all
Speaker 1: is is there no choice, no choice? This is a
Speaker 1: choice to get Yes, but yes, I agree, but this
Speaker 1: you're being presented with a situation where you have a
Speaker 1: choice and you're being asked are you okay with this?
Speaker 1: And so he struggled with this exact thing, which is
Speaker 1: his wife laid out everything on the line said, I
Speaker 1: want in my life, I want to be able to
Speaker 1: have my own child. Adoption is not really what I want.
Speaker 1: And while that's an option for some people, I want
Speaker 1: to know that I have my my son or daughter
Speaker 1: is my own biologically, and then I've given birth to
Speaker 1: this child and that it is my own, and so
Speaker 1: do not take that from me. We have an option
Speaker 1: and it just happens to be my ex is sperm
Speaker 1: and our embryo, but like, we will raise this baby
Speaker 1: as our own. And he felt so conflicted because he said, well,
Speaker 1: if I don't allow her this, she's going to resent me.
Speaker 1: But if I do allow it, I'm going to resent
Speaker 1: her and potentially the child. So it's a zero sum game.
Speaker 1: There's going to be resentment from either side. So how
Speaker 1: how do you proceed? So okay, here's one thought on this.
Speaker 1: They've tried IVF twice, I believe, right, Could they go
Speaker 1: around for one more shot at IVF? Could they do
Speaker 1: it one more time? I know you, I said last
Speaker 1: time she had fears that she wouldn't be able to
Speaker 1: do it. But like they've tried twice, I get that,
Speaker 1: but try one more time. Maybe. By the way, there
Speaker 1: are situations where let alone that, there are situations where
Speaker 1: people are told they can't have a baby, they do
Speaker 1: and then they have a baby. Nts like things can
Speaker 1: can It's a lot. I say that. I say that
Speaker 1: having been through IVF with my wife, knowing that it's
Speaker 1: financially expensive, and it's a lot as far as your
Speaker 1: time and your energy and what it puts a woman's
Speaker 1: body through. It is a massive undertaking. So anybody listening
Speaker 1: it says, oh, it's easy to just say that. No,
Speaker 1: I understand what it's like to go through it. So
Speaker 1: I say that, knowing fully what it's like to go
Speaker 1: through IVF, but a shot to have a baby together,
Speaker 1: maybe try it one more time. But here here's the question.
Speaker 1: If it was you, Dmitri, there's no political answer here,
Speaker 1: yes or no, Like, could you say yes to your
Speaker 1: wife in that situation take the embryo from the X
Speaker 1: and implanted I don't. I don't know that I could.
Speaker 1: I honestly, it would depend on on me knowing this
Speaker 1: other person. But if it was just straight up generic
Speaker 1: resentment towards this other guy, I would I would have
Speaker 1: a problem knowing that I was bringing someone into the
Speaker 1: world based on that, and and and my feelings would
Speaker 1: be conflicted. I if I had to give a quick answer,
Speaker 1: I would say no, Ryan, I would say no. And
Speaker 1: by the way, I don't think that makes either of
Speaker 1: us a bad person. I think that's just the honest truth.
Speaker 1: Like we're human beings, and if we're gonna look at
Speaker 1: that kid and constantly be constantly be reminded of an
Speaker 1: X that we're not fond of, then I don't think
Speaker 1: that's unfair. But that's just the honest truth. I I
Speaker 1: as well, would say no. I don't think I could
Speaker 1: get there. And as much as I and I mentioned
Speaker 1: this on the podcast last week, as much as I
Speaker 1: would love to see a representation of my wife in
Speaker 1: a child, to see those qualities and to imagine if
Speaker 1: the child looks like your wife, even like how cool
Speaker 1: would that be? Um, I just don't think I could
Speaker 1: get past the fact that it's an embryo with an
Speaker 1: X and that there's resentment between me and that man
Speaker 1: already whatever. I just don't see myself getting there. So
Speaker 1: in the current position, I would say no, and I
Speaker 1: would say try. I would like to try IVF one
Speaker 1: more time, and if it doesn't work, I would look
Speaker 1: at so I'll talk to at all. It all shipped up,
Speaker 1: which is wow. He he said exactly what all of
Speaker 1: us would have said, which is, really, I love you,
Speaker 1: but I can't. I cannot do it. I'm sorry, and
Speaker 1: I don't want that to ruin our marriage, but like
Speaker 1: I can't. If I'm being honest, I can't it. She
Speaker 1: was upset by that, admittedly, but they came to an agreement,
Speaker 1: was like, we will do it one more time. Go
Speaker 1: have you have one more time. She went to a
Speaker 1: different fertility doctor in Colorado, the leading guy in the nation,
Speaker 1: and got come on, really, yes, Wow, is that amazing?
Speaker 1: It's amazing. Wow. Didn't they know what they having boy
Speaker 1: or girls? So they just literally, like two weeks ago,
Speaker 1: had a girl. Come on, dank, So we didn't know that. Wow.
Speaker 1: That fires me up, man, because you know why, So
Speaker 1: this is why that really fires me up. My wife
Speaker 1: and my wife. I'll give her credit because she was
Speaker 1: the first person that I heard that said this and
Speaker 1: I adopted it on the spot. She said no is
Speaker 1: not an answer. Will always find a way, and she
Speaker 1: applies that in her business, in her career, in her life.
Speaker 1: She says, no is not an answer that I will accept.
Speaker 1: I will always find a way. And these two did that.
Speaker 1: You know, they could have went that way and it
Speaker 1: could have caused who knows what that would have caused
Speaker 1: in their relationship, but they just they I just love it.
Speaker 1: They dug in and they found a way to do
Speaker 1: it together. And now that baby is their own. That
Speaker 1: fires me up. I love that. Welcome everybody. My name
Speaker 1: is Brooks, like and this is how men think. Right now.
Speaker 1: We are missing our buddy in studio, Mr Gavin de
Speaker 1: Gross so I cannot introduce him right here, but we've
Speaker 1: got Ryan Rick and Dmitri fear not, fear not. Gavin
Speaker 1: will be on later. Should have a moment to do.
Speaker 1: We need a smile like Gavin does every time he gets.
Speaker 1: Will be checking in from the road. Thanks Brooks. It
Speaker 1: feels good to be I'm smiling, you know. I'm happy
Speaker 1: every day. Had a good meal before it got here
Speaker 1: where I ordered a shrimp cocktail at a steakhouse. I
Speaker 1: missed him, though, I miss what We are going to
Speaker 1: call him. He's out on tour. Fantastic performer, so we're
Speaker 1: going to touch base with him. Kind of upset that
Speaker 1: we're not on tour with him right now. So I
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe maybe do we even call him or
Speaker 1: do we cut him from this show? Oh never, how
Speaker 1: dare you to my tree? And Gavin had a little
Speaker 1: bit of a romantic adventure in lake talk. I don't
Speaker 1: know what romantic is that. Well, actually it was pretty romantic. Well,
Speaker 1: we had some downtime, there was other stuff going on,
Speaker 1: and you know, we're just looking around and Gavin said,
Speaker 1: it's such a beautiful area, isn't it? And um? And
Speaker 1: I said yeah, And I normally don't fall for this,
Speaker 1: but he said, do you want to go for a drive?
Speaker 1: And I was like and I giggled like a schoolgirl
Speaker 1: and I was like, I think I do. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: felt good. Yeah, So we drove around the lake and
Speaker 1: then he did the old well this is look how beautiful.
Speaker 1: Let's pull over and then get out and take pictures.
Speaker 1: And again I was like, not something I normally do,
Speaker 1: but sure. But so what happened was we just got
Speaker 1: out and looked. It was actually a very beautiful, um scene.
Speaker 1: But what I His dog Buddy was in the car too,
Speaker 1: and I think he was mad because I got the
Speaker 1: front seat. So when we got out, we got back
Speaker 1: in and Buddy had taken my seat. Oh no, And
Speaker 1: at that point I was like, okay, well, Buddy, I
Speaker 1: know this is your car. But I can't go back.
Speaker 1: I can't go back to camp and be riding the
Speaker 1: back seat with your upfront because I'm gonna look like
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can say bitch, but that's
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna look like. So um So we compromised.
Speaker 1: I got in the car, we put you know, Buddy
Speaker 1: got down on the floor, and then I got there,
Speaker 1: and then Buddy jumped up on my lap. So every
Speaker 1: stoplight we stopped at, everybody's looked over and saw Gavin,
Speaker 1: myself and Buddy on my lapt and I'm gonna be honest,
Speaker 1: I think we look pretty cute. I have a I
Speaker 1: have a burning question. I don't know this whole time.
Speaker 1: This has been in my mind. What music did he
Speaker 1: play for you? It was weird he played all his music. No,
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding, Um, you know, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know that there was music playing. And then we
Speaker 1: just had the windows down, smelling the Tahoe air. Deep conversation,
Speaker 1: Yeah we were. We were talking was like real good
Speaker 1: eye contact. I mean it was made it dangerous, but yes,
Speaker 1: he did keep we kept making eye contact, and I
Speaker 1: was like, should you be looking at the road. But
Speaker 1: it was, um, there was no it was. It was
Speaker 1: actually a very nice ride. And I got to know, um,
Speaker 1: a little bit about Gavin, a little bit about Tahoe
Speaker 1: because I had never been to Tahoe, and um, you know,
Speaker 1: Rick was was warming up because he was he was
Speaker 1: swimming the next day and he was. He spent the
Speaker 1: whole weekend in a speedo, which I thought unnecessary. I
Speaker 1: want to channel my inner Gavin right now. Let me
Speaker 1: ask you a question. Is his car stick shift or
Speaker 1: an automatic? Hypothetically speaking if the car broke down? Um, no,
Speaker 1: I'm having fun with it. We did have a nice
Speaker 1: time though, Yeah. Uh, here's actually we we had a
Speaker 1: whole nice time the whole weekend. Right, it was fantastic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank everyone for supporting and it was it was a blast.
Speaker 1: How did you do? Great race? We did well? Yeah,
Speaker 1: the weather was perfect. Team buil everybody in on what
Speaker 1: she could just competed in. Yeah. So we just finished
Speaker 1: the Trance Tahoe Race, which is a twelve mile race
Speaker 1: across Lake Tahoe. There's six people participate Pinson. It's a
Speaker 1: relay race, so everybody swims a half an hour and
Speaker 1: then after you do your first half hour, you go
Speaker 1: increments of ten minutes until you finish. Uh. It was
Speaker 1: eighty degree day. There was no wind, so the lake
Speaker 1: was perfectly flat. We started off. We ended up finishing
Speaker 1: sixty three out of two hundred and sixty seven teams.
Speaker 1: I think it was total UM six in our age bracket.
Speaker 1: So we were we were pleased with the results. It
Speaker 1: was it was exciting. Lady I did not mind the
Speaker 1: speedos at all. Enjoyed saw the photos. It looked like
Speaker 1: the water must have been cold. It's definitely cold, but
Speaker 1: putting everybody else down to make yourself feel better. We
Speaker 1: dubbed it um I will say though I was on
Speaker 1: the boat, I was kind of would you call me
Speaker 1: an honorary team? Uh oh yeah, yeah I was. I
Speaker 1: was ready to jump in, you know, for anybody that
Speaker 1: could not finish for any reason. Um I did not
Speaker 1: have a speedo, but um Amy said the speedos were
Speaker 1: not bad. You were not on a boat with with
Speaker 1: six of them just staring at you, just for those
Speaker 1: of you that aren't watching, so I can't see. She
Speaker 1: just hit her mouth on the mic because I wanted
Speaker 1: to say I wish I was question for you. Rick
Speaker 1: in a thirty minute swim. It's a twelve mile race
Speaker 1: in a thirty minute swim. How far would you swim
Speaker 1: in thirty minutes? I we did not measure it, but
Speaker 1: I estimated we'd probably swam about a mile and a half.
Speaker 1: I have each half each, so each partner did thirty minutes,
Speaker 1: so that's six times through. And then how many increments
Speaker 1: of ten minutes did you do? I had to do
Speaker 1: three ten minutes after that, so yeah, um, but I
Speaker 1: started the race, So basically the race starts started at
Speaker 1: seven fifty am. They dropped me off around seven. I
Speaker 1: sat on the beach for a while I had closed
Speaker 1: on and then you put your clothes in a bag
Speaker 1: and then the sponsorship brings it over to the end
Speaker 1: of the race and you grab your clothes after. But
Speaker 1: the beginning of the race is kind of hectic, like
Speaker 1: there's everyone's jumping in the water at one time, everyone's running.
Speaker 1: It's cold. It was was a gorgeous David. We're on
Speaker 1: the east side of the lay and so it's still shadow.
Speaker 1: The sun hasn't come up yet, water is cold, and
Speaker 1: I was heading around the first booie and I think
Speaker 1: I got like either altitude sickness, or maybe it was
Speaker 1: the three fingers rum the night before. I'm not sure
Speaker 1: you heard drinking the night before. We had a couple
Speaker 1: of SIPs. Yeah, just a couple of SIPs. It's like,
Speaker 1: tin cup, It's like, what do you think I should do? Like,
Speaker 1: you gotta get drunk, you always play better. We're talking
Speaker 1: about it because I was like, because obviously I was
Speaker 1: drinking the night before because I didn't have to, you know,
Speaker 1: as an alternate, you don't really have to. Um. But
Speaker 1: then I was like, I was actually surprised at how
Speaker 1: much these guys were drinking. But I wasn't gonna be like, guy,
Speaker 1: should you stop? Because then I would have been drinking alone,
Speaker 1: and that's an awkward feeling. UM. I will say, all
Speaker 1: joking aside, you guys were you did a phenomenal job.
Speaker 1: Like all the jokes I'm making about the speedos and
Speaker 1: is that you guys were in there and you were
Speaker 1: swimming and it was pretty impressive swimming through that that lake?
Speaker 1: Was it what you say? It was twelve miles? I
Speaker 1: was impressed, and I have to tip my captain. You'll
Speaker 1: see pictures I was in the boat drinking beer, is
Speaker 1: cheering them on, So maybe I was. It was it
Speaker 1: was you guys did a great job. It was impressive,
Speaker 1: Thank you, It was. It was great to see like
Speaker 1: every time you would you would turn and stroke and breathe.
Speaker 1: Dmitri on the boat like sipping his Coors Light, and
Speaker 1: it was like, oh, okay, just another nine more minutes
Speaker 1: until we get to have one of those. For anybody
Speaker 1: that hasn't or isn't a swimmer, try swimming thirty minutes
Speaker 1: straight in a lake that as hard as hell. Yeah,
Speaker 1: minutes straight in a pool and front crawl the whole way. Canadian.
Speaker 1: So Dan, Yelle and I would love nothing more than
Speaker 1: to hear you guys talk about swimming the whole time,
Speaker 1: But instead we'd rather know how long do you wait
Speaker 1: to have sex with someone that you have just begun dating?
Speaker 1: Did you meet somebody you mean like asking for a friend.
Speaker 1: It actually is from a listener, Okay, listener questions after
Speaker 1: the race or before the race, the night before. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of there's a lot of there's a lot
Speaker 1: of theory behind that. Save your legs, don't do it.
Speaker 1: Let me ask you that on that topic, did you
Speaker 1: abstain from sex before NHL games? Like was there a
Speaker 1: policy team wide? It's like night before game, guys, there
Speaker 1: was never a policy. No, you're grown man, you can
Speaker 1: do what you want. There's grown men with families, wives, kids.
Speaker 1: Just you're in control of your careers. Show up and
Speaker 1: your performance is going to reflect your preparation usually. So
Speaker 1: I never had anything like that, was single most of
Speaker 1: my life. So, um, I wasn't really doing much. And
Speaker 1: you already admitted that after the games you would go
Speaker 1: and work out, So clearly you weren't getting much before
Speaker 1: the games because you had so much energy even after.
Speaker 1: I just have a lot of energy in general. Brother,
Speaker 1: So let's focus. So here's the question. Is the success
Speaker 1: of the relationship determined in any way by how long
Speaker 1: you wait? Do you know what I mean? Like, you
Speaker 1: know how some women, Oh I made him wait for
Speaker 1: three months and then he married me, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? This is seriously a question from her, and
Speaker 1: then she also wants to know this might be a
Speaker 1: lot of inn formation, but did you wait longer with
Speaker 1: your wives than maybe a previous relationship. Well, so you're asking,
Speaker 1: like when you're first dating somebody, that's what you're asking.
Speaker 1: How long how long do you wait to have sex.
Speaker 1: How long do you wait to have sex? I mean
Speaker 1: you want you don't care about what you do want
Speaker 1: want or like, I mean like the guy you want
Speaker 1: to like I did it right there? Right? I mean
Speaker 1: I mean right, isn't what you want to hear? Right? Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we want to have sex that night if she's ready
Speaker 1: to go. But see, I think it depends on what
Speaker 1: I think it depends on what you're expecting or what
Speaker 1: you want from that situation. If it's like obviously you're saying,
Speaker 1: yea guy wants to have sex all the time, so
Speaker 1: first aid he'd like to have sex. But in my
Speaker 1: you know, in my opinion, it's like, all right, if
Speaker 1: this is someone you can see spending, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: that Like, oh, she just had sex right away? So
Speaker 1: is that something that affects you? I I agree with
Speaker 1: what he's saying. So when you meet somebody that you
Speaker 1: have a an intellectual connection with an emotional connection with,
Speaker 1: um something Because you meet somebody that you're physically attracted to,
Speaker 1: and then you meet somebody else that you're intrigued by,
Speaker 1: and when you meet that person that really intrigues you.
Speaker 1: From a man's standpoint, I think it's actually more enjoyable
Speaker 1: to not rush to the physical. Um, because you, as
Speaker 1: Dmitri said, you probably see this person, you see yourself
Speaker 1: with this person long term, so you don't want to know, oh,
Speaker 1: we just hooked up on the first night. You kind
Speaker 1: of want to have according period there. This is from
Speaker 1: my my life anyway. In my standpoint, you want to
Speaker 1: have a cording period where it's maybe one to three dates, um,
Speaker 1: whatever it is before you get really physical. Uh, and
Speaker 1: it's actually a really exciting time versus rushing right to
Speaker 1: it and then oh yeah, yeah, maybe that you haven't
Speaker 1: learned this person enough, or maybe that just tarnishes the
Speaker 1: the intrigue a little bit. That's so I found yeah,
Speaker 1: being respectful also because if you if you really appreciating
Speaker 1: our intrigued by this person, you want to respect them
Speaker 1: and you're probably not going to push those boundaries right
Speaker 1: out of the blocks. And that's that's the way I feel.
Speaker 1: That's a preference. But um, I'm it doesn't mean it
Speaker 1: doesn't work. Like I do have friends that that hooked up,
Speaker 1: slept together on the first date and they're happily married,
Speaker 1: they have a bunch of kids and and things are
Speaker 1: going great. So it is possible, but it's just really
Speaker 1: probably just a preference. Then I think what what you
Speaker 1: were saying Brooks, there is there's an excitement to the
Speaker 1: anticipation of actually having sex. It's it goes back to
Speaker 1: what I said weeks ago on about Christmas morning. I
Speaker 1: dread Christmas morning because it's here and then it's gonna
Speaker 1: go away. It's supposed to be the happiest day in
Speaker 1: the year, but it's like, once it's there, it's done.
Speaker 1: So it's the build up that leads to the moment.
Speaker 1: To me, that's probably more exciting than the actual moment itself.
Speaker 1: You're saying you get sex for Christmas. The chase, I
Speaker 1: think what you're saying is the chase. So for a guy,
Speaker 1: the chase is really enjoyable. And I'm sure I can't
Speaker 1: speak from a female standpoint, but I'm sure for them
Speaker 1: it's the same thing. But the chase of getting plus
Speaker 1: you're just infatuated by somebody, You're getting to know them,
Speaker 1: and that's going to amplify the physical experience when it
Speaker 1: comes to that. But that chase is really exciting. I agree.
Speaker 1: I think the chase is really exciting. But I think
Speaker 1: you're all kind of wrong because I feel like if
Speaker 1: you're actually sitting there and you're at a very nice
Speaker 1: dinner and you're having the time of your life and
Speaker 1: she is too or he or whatever, and like that,
Speaker 1: you just want to get at it, like why not? Well,
Speaker 1: maybe like that's the whole point, was not the whole point.
Speaker 1: If Gavin was here, he'd say, hold on, hold on,
Speaker 1: what am I having for dinner? Because if it's a
Speaker 1: nice steak, maybe I can put off this, And he'd say,
Speaker 1: who's paying for dinner? But yeah, I think it's I
Speaker 1: think go either way. As as Demetri said, I do
Speaker 1: have friends that have hooked up on the first night,
Speaker 1: have been married fifteen years and have kids. So that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that that's going to dictate the quality of
Speaker 1: the relationship. But I think it's just a personal preference.
Speaker 1: Do you want to advance the physical part of it
Speaker 1: sooner or later? I prevard later, And I'll wrap it
Speaker 1: up with this. I think the older you get, the
Speaker 1: more you know what you want. So when you find
Speaker 1: that person, if you're older, you're like, yeah, I know this,
Speaker 1: I want to be I want to have sex with
Speaker 1: this person. Like I'm not gonna waste any time. It's
Speaker 1: let's just I know what I want, he has what
Speaker 1: I want. Let's do this. We'll be right back in
Speaker 1: just a second. Okay, we're gonna get into today's topic.
Speaker 1: We've covered this before on the show. So you guys
Speaker 1: remember the episode where my wife Julianne was on and
Speaker 1: she had mentioned about a special lady named Miss Jaia
Speaker 1: who is a sex therapist. See, I'll be honest, I
Speaker 1: thought that was a metaphor. I didn't realize that was
Speaker 1: a real person. I realized that, yes, she's a sexologist,
Speaker 1: not a sex therapist. I got that. I just want
Speaker 1: to clear that up. But we talked about this lady
Speaker 1: named Miss Jaya, and she has an erotic blueprint UM,
Speaker 1: and it's an erotic blueprint or erotic bre Through dot com,
Speaker 1: you can take this erotic blueprint and it sort of
Speaker 1: gives you a little background about what you are essentially sexually. UM,
Speaker 1: just your erotic blueprint. And so my wife and I
Speaker 1: have have both taken this UM and did you guys
Speaker 1: take it? Have you guys taken it? Now? We have
Speaker 1: taken it. We have taken it UM. And the response
Speaker 1: from this that show was incredible. We had so many
Speaker 1: people email us and jump on our Instagram page saying
Speaker 1: they want to hear more from Miss Jaya. So today
Speaker 1: we actually have Miss Jaya coming on with us, which
Speaker 1: is Rick's eyes just lit up. He's like, oh boy,
Speaker 1: all your answers are all your questions, your whole life?
Speaker 1: What blueprints? You know? How I gave you one word
Speaker 1: describing you. I was a shape shifter? What is that?
Speaker 1: That's what Miss Jaia is gonna answer. I was a
Speaker 1: kid that wass sorry? I was a shape shifter. Also
Speaker 1: a shape shifter, shape shifter shape my wife was also
Speaker 1: a shape shift. Well, that's what I want to know.
Speaker 1: Is it is an ideal situation that you and your
Speaker 1: partner are the same? Or does a shape shifter pair
Speaker 1: well with a kinky? I think actually in the test,
Speaker 1: I think it does say who you pair well with?
Speaker 1: I believe, but I could be mistaken. It sounds like
Speaker 1: a question. Can't wait, what do you get? I got kinky?
Speaker 1: You're kinky? Obviously? Wow? No, he got kinky taking the quiz?
Speaker 1: What did you get? Wait? Is that when you're you
Speaker 1: guys are a match? You're asking he's a shape shifter
Speaker 1: and I'm a kinky there's and I was not expecting that.
Speaker 1: But look, uh sexual sexual, which I don't know if
Speaker 1: you read the fine print after he said this is
Speaker 1: the best thing to be but I'm pretty sure. And
Speaker 1: then Amy's face is really read over here because she
Speaker 1: is kinky. I just get a text message from her.
Speaker 1: Oh God, of course I'm kinky. It's all that said.
Speaker 1: She hadn't even taken the quiz yet. I feel like
Speaker 1: you even changed. You changed your voice when you said
Speaker 1: that word to to try to you know, did I
Speaker 1: sound kinkier? You have a big smile on right now.
Speaker 1: I won wear it like a badge of honor? Would
Speaker 1: you get Danielle? I got sensual? Sensual? And Tory and
Speaker 1: Hanna took it to right? What did you guys get?
Speaker 1: So if you guys want to take this, you can
Speaker 1: go to Erotic breakthrough dot com. Miss Jaya can talk
Speaker 1: more about it. But this is an erotic blueprint to
Speaker 1: give you a little idea into how you look at
Speaker 1: intimacy and sex. Um. This is producer Tori and I
Speaker 1: had energizer or energetic, it's whatever. I also think it's
Speaker 1: also what miss Jaya is because she said we share
Speaker 1: the same erotic blue parents young. This is young Hanna
Speaker 1: and I got sexual okay, so kind of neat that
Speaker 1: we have like a mixture, that we have all different
Speaker 1: kinds on this panel. So I'm I'm interested to ask
Speaker 1: questions to miss Jaya um and find out what this
Speaker 1: means for us. And so we have Jaya on the
Speaker 1: show with us. Welcome Jaya. Hello, it's so pleased to
Speaker 1: be here. Yeah, welcome, round of applause. I cannot state
Speaker 1: this enough. I'm so excited that you're here. Um. We
Speaker 1: have four gentlemen here that are extremely lost in this area,
Speaker 1: um and are looking for some answers. And and and also
Speaker 1: I just want to pass on to you. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you heard the episode with my wife Julianne
Speaker 1: Huff where she mentioned your name and that we took
Speaker 1: your erotic blueprint quiz. UM. My wife doesn't fangirl over
Speaker 1: many people, but last night when I told her that
Speaker 1: we were speaking with you on the podcast today, she
Speaker 1: tried to literally clear her schedule to come meet you.
Speaker 1: So she wanted me to pass that on that she
Speaker 1: is a ass a fan of yours and she hopes
Speaker 1: that we can connect and talk. Um. She just loves
Speaker 1: what you do loves your work and has so many
Speaker 1: questions for you. So sometime after the show we'll have
Speaker 1: to continue the conversation. But um one, we just want
Speaker 1: to introduce you to our listeners. Um And you're often
Speaker 1: mistaken for a sex therapist, but you're actually referred to
Speaker 1: as a sexologist. Can you elaborate on that for us please.
Speaker 1: So I have the great pleasure of not just talking
Speaker 1: about sex, but I help people hands on. So my
Speaker 1: practice is somatic, meaning you know, people come into my office,
Speaker 1: we talk a little, and then I actually see how
Speaker 1: they touch each other. So I can say, hey, you're
Speaker 1: touching her like a piece of meat. You need to
Speaker 1: start touching her more like very gently, like a tulip,
Speaker 1: for like you're dropping a pebble into a pond, So
Speaker 1: that we can start to really get this not sex
Speaker 1: and just something we can talk about, it's something that
Speaker 1: we actually need to get hands on and hands in with. Wow,
Speaker 1: so you actually get to watch and coach real time.
Speaker 1: I watched and coach real time. I work with the
Speaker 1: physical body. We work with biochemistry, so we're working with hormones,
Speaker 1: we're working with the emotional aspects, and we work with
Speaker 1: the energetic aspects. Wow, okay, so I just want to
Speaker 1: read here um your mission, So it says your mission
Speaker 1: is to help people gain access to erotic ecstasy. You're
Speaker 1: committed to shifting the cultural view of sexuality from being
Speaker 1: something that is bad, wrong, or shameful to something seemed
Speaker 1: as healthy, worth cultivating and celebrating, which I think is
Speaker 1: an incredible mission mission. And you've been doing this work
Speaker 1: for now over two decades. Over two decades. I really
Speaker 1: want to acknowledge you guys. You know people kind of
Speaker 1: judge like, oh, they're working on their sex life. You know,
Speaker 1: things must be going wrong or self stuff like that,
Speaker 1: and it's like, no, this is something that we need
Speaker 1: to bring out of the dark and start talking about
Speaker 1: because people feel like they're wrong, they're broken something, you know, shameful.
Speaker 1: Let's not talk about it? When why not do this
Speaker 1: in the beginning of your relation ship? That takes a
Speaker 1: lot of courage, And I just really want to acknowledge
Speaker 1: you guys, because that's amazing that you took steps to
Speaker 1: really improve talk about these things, have conversations because I
Speaker 1: see couples thirty or forty years into their relationship and
Speaker 1: they've never had the conversation about sex, and they're both
Speaker 1: really really suffering in this area. Well, and you this
Speaker 1: is dmitri Um. You might know me as sexual from
Speaker 1: the results. But it's kind of like a car, right,
Speaker 1: Like you don't wait for your car to break down
Speaker 1: to get it tuned up right, You bring it in
Speaker 1: and you get you get it tuned up so that
Speaker 1: it doesn't break down. And I imagine that's what the
Speaker 1: same thing with the relationship and a sexual relationship. And
Speaker 1: if you get a hyper sports car, you want to
Speaker 1: know how the thing works, you know, like some people
Speaker 1: are like some people have a McLaren and you've got
Speaker 1: to learn you know, how to all the buttons and
Speaker 1: how to drive it in the right gas to put
Speaker 1: in it. And that's a more sophisticated blueprint. So you
Speaker 1: mentioned your sexual blueprint, but that would be like an
Speaker 1: energetic shape shifter. Is that fine automobile? You've got to
Speaker 1: know how to play it just right. So I have
Speaker 1: a question for Ugia. So when my wife first, she
Speaker 1: came home one day and she said, I found this
Speaker 1: quiz that gives you an erotic blueprint. Um, I've read
Speaker 1: up on it. I've started studying her stuff she's watched videos. Um.
Speaker 1: She was really informed on you when she brought you
Speaker 1: to me. And originally, as you said, I pushed away.
Speaker 1: I was like, wait, don't like why we don't need that? UM?
Speaker 1: Our sex is great? UM Like why do we need
Speaker 1: to what? What is this? I was uncomfortable with it?
Speaker 1: Just full transparency. I was uncomfortable with this. It was
Speaker 1: something that my wife had never mentioned before. UM did
Speaker 1: you feel inadequate? No, I was just I was I
Speaker 1: was curious, like why is she? Is she not happy?
Speaker 1: I kind of started thinking like, is she not happy
Speaker 1: in our sex life? I don't. And then I started
Speaker 1: thinking about it more and I was like, well, I
Speaker 1: go to I'm extremely well versed in nutrition, but I
Speaker 1: still go to a nutritionist. I'm extremely well versed in
Speaker 1: athletics and training, but I still seek advice from anthon
Speaker 1: conditioning coaches and this other um. Kinds of areas of
Speaker 1: my life that I still I might be proficient at,
Speaker 1: but I still want to grow in that area. And
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I'm proficient sexually. But when I started
Speaker 1: thinking about it that way, I was like, Oh, actually,
Speaker 1: I'm just seeking some growth in the area versus something
Speaker 1: is wrong. But why do we tend to look at
Speaker 1: for maybe listeners that think, oh, I could never go
Speaker 1: to a sexologist or something. Why do we tend to
Speaker 1: think that that's sort of taboo? And which I love
Speaker 1: your mission is you're trying to change that. But what
Speaker 1: is our mindset to try and think that that's taboo. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we have this history of let's put it under the rug,
Speaker 1: let's not talk about sex when we're taught from an
Speaker 1: early age about sex. And I asked people this question
Speaker 1: all over what were you taught about sex growing up?
Speaker 1: And a lot of people say, oh, I didn't get
Speaker 1: sex education, but you were taught about sex. You were
Speaker 1: taught let's not talk about it. You were taught this
Speaker 1: is how we behave. You were taught close your legs,
Speaker 1: be good, don't you know, hash hash hash hashash Again
Speaker 1: then like, don't talk about it, peace creates the taboo
Speaker 1: around it, which either becomes an erotic charge like oh
Speaker 1: it's naughty. That's one of the blueprints as well, and
Speaker 1: like that naughty, let's not talk about it, and that
Speaker 1: turns me on. Hey, Ji, I just wanted to ask you,
Speaker 1: you know, what the benefit of do going to you know,
Speaker 1: as uh, sexology sexologists Early on in the relationship, when
Speaker 1: you're with somebody and you guys both think you may
Speaker 1: have everything kind of going on the right way, and
Speaker 1: what's the advantage of that. So the beginning of a relationship,
Speaker 1: everything is kind of hot sexually, biochemically, you know, you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: new hormones, new energy. And then what happens is we
Speaker 1: go into the default of how we're wired erotically, and
Speaker 1: so after like six months eighteen months, biochemistry changes, the
Speaker 1: limerince wears off, and now we're like, maybe this person
Speaker 1: isn't right for me. But what we do when we
Speaker 1: have preventative, which is we really love this person, And
Speaker 1: I want to bust a myth here, which is about
Speaker 1: sexual compatibility. We think when we go talk to somebody
Speaker 1: about our sexuality, or we like it isn't super hot
Speaker 1: in the bed, or we're not having the orgasms that
Speaker 1: we might think we should be having, we say, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm incompatible with that person. But it's not incompatibility. If
Speaker 1: you love someone, you're gonna learn their language. So think
Speaker 1: about it more as a language, and so wouldn't it
Speaker 1: be better at the beginning of the relationship, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: you speak Spanish and I speak French. Let me learn
Speaker 1: French and let me learn Spanish. Now we know each
Speaker 1: other's languages. As we go into the relationship, we can
Speaker 1: keep it much hotter. Or if things change. So you
Speaker 1: have a baby, I hear one of you has a
Speaker 1: baby on the way? Um or is your you know
Speaker 1: your partner gets pregnant. Blueprints can change, sexuality can change.
Speaker 1: And now you have a language to go. Oh, my
Speaker 1: partner just shifted to energetic. Now I know how to
Speaker 1: how to speak Chinese versus I have no idea what's
Speaker 1: going on. I don't know how to touch my partner anymore.
Speaker 1: I don't understand why things have changed. And we're at
Speaker 1: a loss. And before you know what, you're in a
Speaker 1: sexist situation or you're just dissatisfied and not talking about
Speaker 1: it and you're going through the motions. So what is
Speaker 1: what is one thing that the most common problem that
Speaker 1: you you see in couples when they contact you, they
Speaker 1: aren't having sex, or the sex isn't enjoyable or is
Speaker 1: it um a partner is giving sex or acts of
Speaker 1: sex how they want to receive them, and it's not
Speaker 1: how their partner receives them or prefers like, what are
Speaker 1: some common problems that maybe um our listeners are facing,
Speaker 1: and maybe we're facing that we don't know. We actually
Speaker 1: have an epidemic on our hands of sexist relationships. You'd
Speaker 1: be really surprised. Last I heard, statistically, I think it
Speaker 1: was one in seven long term relationships were sexless, one
Speaker 1: of three in the US, And so this is a
Speaker 1: that's a lot of sexist relationships. And then we have
Speaker 1: the quality of sex, so we have people who aren't
Speaker 1: having se ux and then we have the I'm just
Speaker 1: not enjoying myself. I'm not saying anything. I wish my
Speaker 1: partner would read my mind. I hear this a lot
Speaker 1: from uh. We can say the feminine energy people or
Speaker 1: people who are identify as women who say, you know,
Speaker 1: I just wish my partner would know what to do
Speaker 1: and read my mind and be able to just voila
Speaker 1: magically give me orgasms. And that's not how it works.
Speaker 1: Part of it's a communication challenge. And I had this
Speaker 1: in my own relationship. You know here I was I
Speaker 1: was a sex therapy sex I'm not a sex service.
Speaker 1: I was a sexologist who when I knew all the
Speaker 1: sex techniques. I knew everything. I've written the book on
Speaker 1: oral I've written the book on erotic massage, I've written
Speaker 1: the book on sex positions. I couldn't get my own
Speaker 1: partner to have sex with me, and so you can,
Speaker 1: guys can imagine I'm already like fifteen years into my
Speaker 1: career and my own like we're rolling over on the
Speaker 1: opposite side of the bed, and I'm crying myself to
Speaker 1: sleep at night because I'm incongruent with what I'm doing
Speaker 1: for a living. I had to figure out what this was,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't about another sex technique. It wasn't about me.
Speaker 1: You know, strip teasing on the floor. That wasn't my
Speaker 1: partner's blueprint. Now, the sexuals, you guys might right of
Speaker 1: luck the strip tease of the floor, but my partner
Speaker 1: is not as sexual. So I had to refigure out
Speaker 1: all of this. And that's where a part of this
Speaker 1: came from, was my own pain in my own relationship.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to say we have a amazing, epic sex
Speaker 1: life now, but that time period after me having a
Speaker 1: baby and me trying to figure out who he was erotically,
Speaker 1: and it wasn't the stereotype of what we think men are.
Speaker 1: We think men are all sexual and this is how
Speaker 1: they should behave I'm naked, I'm on the bed, he
Speaker 1: should be ready to go. But that's not the truth.
Speaker 1: As we've learned through seventy thousand people now taking this quiz, uh,
Speaker 1: we see that there are men who have many different blueprints,
Speaker 1: not just a sexual blueprint. Is the beginning of the blueprint.
Speaker 1: No matter what the blueprint is, is it communication? Is
Speaker 1: that how you would start the blueprint out? So we
Speaker 1: start with taking the quiz and then figuring out from
Speaker 1: there what is it? Just mentally that you would start
Speaker 1: to type in and the quiz will give you different
Speaker 1: percentages in that map. Then we actually have physical games.
Speaker 1: So I don't have many of you been to the
Speaker 1: eye doctor. When you do, like here's a and here's
Speaker 1: be which one can you see clear? It's a similar
Speaker 1: thing where we start to play games with the bodies.
Speaker 1: To me, it's about what how the body responds. Somebody
Speaker 1: may say, I'm not kinky. This is the one that
Speaker 1: habits the most frequently. I'm not the kinky blueprint. Which
Speaker 1: are people who are turned on by taboo, But then
Speaker 1: we get them touching and all of a sudden, their
Speaker 1: body responds like, oh my god, I love that rope
Speaker 1: or oh my like you know, I love dominated and
Speaker 1: that doesn't lie. So for we mentioned this already before,
Speaker 1: but for people listening, they can take this quiz and
Speaker 1: find out your erotic blueprint at erotic breakthrough dot com. Um.
Speaker 1: But say somebody hasn't taken the quiz, or somebody has
Speaker 1: taken the quiz. What are the different erotic blueprints and
Speaker 1: what are characteristics of those blueprints? Great questions. So there's
Speaker 1: five erotic blueprints. The first one is energetic. It's someone
Speaker 1: who's turned on by anticipation, space, tease, and longing. They
Speaker 1: love to yearn there's superpowers that they can have orgasms
Speaker 1: without even being touched, so they can go into high
Speaker 1: pleasure without actually having physical touch. This is a conundrum
Speaker 1: for some of the other blueprints, and I find that
Speaker 1: one really interested because there are like learning about this.
Speaker 1: There are people that they're most turned on when their
Speaker 1: partner is six ft away or across the room, like
Speaker 1: another city, the same thing we're unavailable. That could be
Speaker 1: a shadow party. So that's an energetic. Each blueprint has
Speaker 1: a superpower, and each blueprint has a shadow. The shadow
Speaker 1: side of the energetic is they're so sensitive that they
Speaker 1: may short circuit, so if you approach them too much,
Speaker 1: too quickly, too fast. I don't know if any of
Speaker 1: you had this experience where you're about to kiss somebody
Speaker 1: and it's so hot and like your lips are just
Speaker 1: like they're you're about you're about to do it, and
Speaker 1: then there's all this excitement and then the moment the
Speaker 1: kiss happens, it kind of fades. That could be that
Speaker 1: you're an energetic or that it was just too much
Speaker 1: and more time and that yearning and longing and tease
Speaker 1: and edge play would be even more powerful. So that's
Speaker 1: the first one, and the second one is the sensual,
Speaker 1: and the sensual is turned on by all of their
Speaker 1: senses being ignited, so this is taste, smell, touch. Superpower
Speaker 1: is that they can have non genital orgasms, so this
Speaker 1: could be like sucking on someone's big toe or you know,
Speaker 1: bring down on the back of their knees something like that.
Speaker 1: Clearly took a shower before that sounds like sensual shadow
Speaker 1: who just said that. He's also the one that perked
Speaker 1: up when you said there was a book on oral
Speaker 1: so he's he's a roller coaster over here. I am
Speaker 1: only a microphone, so that's sensual. So we have energetic,
Speaker 1: we have sensual, and then the sexual is someone who's
Speaker 1: turned on by what we think of in our culture
Speaker 1: as sex is penetration, erection, intercourse, that is, and there's
Speaker 1: zero to sixty like I can get turned on usually
Speaker 1: high drive, very very quickly. And sex is fun. It's simple.
Speaker 1: So superpower is that it's just it's simple, it's easy.
Speaker 1: It's like, how can you go wrong? And sex helps
Speaker 1: the sexual relax, whereas like a sensual they need to
Speaker 1: relax first in order to have sex. So a sexual
Speaker 1: is maybe more like a primal primal feeling. Yes, sex
Speaker 1: is a need, it's a desire, it's a drive. It's
Speaker 1: like everything is right in the world if I am
Speaker 1: having sex, successful sex. I think that's Gavin, isn't it?
Speaker 1: Dmitries sexual That's what I can thank you. I came
Speaker 1: up with that in the quiz, But I don't know
Speaker 1: that that's I don't know that that says, you know,
Speaker 1: nails me to a t there. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: feel primal. I don't feel like I need to have
Speaker 1: sex like it sounds at least the way it was
Speaker 1: described there, it sounds a very um what's the word
Speaker 1: I'm looking for, very like transactional like yeah, and I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't think that's me. I'm sure you
Speaker 1: probably possess or g I you could answer this, but
Speaker 1: like Dmitri, so he's saying he's sexual, but that doesn't
Speaker 1: sound like him. He would possess elements of all these
Speaker 1: other blueprints, wouldn't he don't be embarrassed by your blueprint, Dmitri.
Speaker 1: I'm not embarrassed, um actually, But the truth is so
Speaker 1: with the way he's broke down, I do. I don't
Speaker 1: remember what they said, but I know it said, um,
Speaker 1: sexual was a certain percentage, and then you're at something
Speaker 1: else a certain percentage. So maybe that's what you possess
Speaker 1: other blueprints. Yeah, so that's somebody who's like, like, let's
Speaker 1: say they're eighty percent sexual. They're gonna like that A
Speaker 1: is a need, desire, want if it's high on your percentages.
Speaker 1: Whereas like my my mapping used to be that I
Speaker 1: was thirty three sexual and then I was thirty energetic,
Speaker 1: So I had those two you as my high, my
Speaker 1: my bottom. My zero was kinky now my partner, that's
Speaker 1: the next blueprint on here. Kinky is turned on by
Speaker 1: that taboo, someone who's turned on my taboo, And that
Speaker 1: can be psychological kinky with dominance and submission play, or
Speaker 1: it can be more sensation based, like spanking or the
Speaker 1: feeling of constriction on your body, something like that. My
Speaker 1: partner's highest is kinky and my zero was kinky. My
Speaker 1: highest was sexual, his zero was sexual. So we were
Speaker 1: complete opposites, which is why I'm stripped teasing for him,
Speaker 1: and he's going, why are you doing that? That does
Speaker 1: not you know, not doing it for me? Um, that
Speaker 1: makes sense because I just pulled up my results. Sexual
Speaker 1: was it was the most dominant one, but it was
Speaker 1: only and then shape shift seventeen, kinky seventeen, and energetic eight.
Speaker 1: Is it safe to say if if you are polar
Speaker 1: opposite with your significant other? Is that are you in
Speaker 1: the most need of help? Is that? Yeah? I guess
Speaker 1: i'd say what what I'd say? You are not help necessarily,
Speaker 1: But education, it's like learning, it's learning a language and
Speaker 1: it's just getting an education around Well, how do I
Speaker 1: speak like? You know? Meant you being eight percent there?
Speaker 1: Then energetic is the place where he could expand and develop.
Speaker 1: So once you know your blueprint is about learning how
Speaker 1: to feed it so you feel satisfied speaking it, like
Speaker 1: what are the right words to use, Like you're not
Speaker 1: going to go to an energetic and speak sexual that's
Speaker 1: going to turn them off. And the body language that
Speaker 1: you use healing the shadow aspects of the blueprint. And
Speaker 1: then the final piece is expanding into new territory with
Speaker 1: the blueprint. So when I went to expand, I started
Speaker 1: expanding into kinky because that was my partner's language. To
Speaker 1: learn that and start to find my own turn on
Speaker 1: and that so we can find cross over where we
Speaker 1: really love to dance. So that's four of them. So
Speaker 1: so far we have energetic, sensual, kinky, sexual, and then
Speaker 1: what is the fifth one? And the final one is
Speaker 1: the shape shifter and the shapes after there's someone who's
Speaker 1: turned on by everything. It's they they love it all,
Speaker 1: they could go forever, um, they speak all the languages,
Speaker 1: they're great lovers. Um. The shadow side of this this is,
Speaker 1: by the way, Brooks is a shape shifter and the
Speaker 1: amount of gloating he is doing right now, I'm not
Speaker 1: doing any listeners that they can't see. It's just like
Speaker 1: the smile on his face and the way he's just
Speaker 1: sitting back like taking it all, and it's tough to watch.
Speaker 1: By the way, Botinue. By the way, Brooks speaks six languages,
Speaker 1: and he also he's made thirty million dollars in his
Speaker 1: NHL career, but he's counting. There's a new category called
Speaker 1: Brooks now that that has nothing to do with sex.
Speaker 1: Though I was doing I was doing none of those things.
Speaker 1: Ryan just got irritated as soon as you started saying
Speaker 1: that because we had talked before, and I am a
Speaker 1: shape shifter, I've taken the test. I am a shape
Speaker 1: shifter and my wife is also a shape shifter. Wow.
Speaker 1: So is it is it good to be Is it
Speaker 1: good to be, like Ryan asked his good to be opposite?
Speaker 1: Or is it is it tough to be opposite of
Speaker 1: your partner? Is it good to be the same erotic
Speaker 1: blueprint as your partner? Is that good hans to both?
Speaker 1: So it can be like if you get two energetics
Speaker 1: together and they both are really high energetics, it's great.
Speaker 1: But if you get when somebody who's like me, who
Speaker 1: was an energetic sexual, I really love the physical aspect
Speaker 1: of sex. So if I would just get really really
Speaker 1: frustrated if somebody didn't also have that in their blueprint map,
Speaker 1: because I want that physical aspect now to shape. Shifters
Speaker 1: together can be great because you've got all that variety,
Speaker 1: But what if one of you is in this mood
Speaker 1: one night, but you're in the other mood, you know,
Speaker 1: like one of you is energetic one night and the
Speaker 1: other sexual, and you might need three to four hours
Speaker 1: to have sex or you know ten I had a
Speaker 1: partner who was that way, and we couldn't get sex
Speaker 1: under thirteen hours. Like every time we were having sex,
Speaker 1: and I know there's other things to do in life,
Speaker 1: couldn't get it under thirteen hours. We were like sixteen
Speaker 1: to twenty hours. We were averaging of our love making experiences. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like in a month anything, what is that? Over winter break?
Speaker 1: We call those that's called the champion. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I like, and it's Olympic athletes, you know, like
Speaker 1: we're the shapeshifterre can be like an Olympic athlete and
Speaker 1: I'm more like an astronaut where I just like to
Speaker 1: explore all that's erotically possible, Like what are all the
Speaker 1: different things that you can do and play with because
Speaker 1: in sexuality we're only hitting the tip of the iceberg
Speaker 1: with the conversation. There's so much that's possible that we
Speaker 1: most people just don't even know. Yeah, and if you're
Speaker 1: a majority of one of those five and like, do
Speaker 1: you want to work on the others? I mean even
Speaker 1: if like you know, you want to be a well
Speaker 1: balanced person, right, so if your partners, if you don't
Speaker 1: match your partner, but you want to maybe work on
Speaker 1: something else or I don't know, do you do you
Speaker 1: ever see somebody that's nearly for each of the five categories,
Speaker 1: so they are the most well rounded. We do see
Speaker 1: people who are well rounded, it's usually after they've been
Speaker 1: through some of our work. Like, my goal is that
Speaker 1: everybody sort of becomes a full spectrum human and their
Speaker 1: sexuality so that they become shape shifters essentially. I think
Speaker 1: it's our true essence as human beings. I just think
Speaker 1: we get shamed out of different desires like this is okay,
Speaker 1: that's not okay, and then that starts to shape and
Speaker 1: form who we are erotically, and so we have this
Speaker 1: conditioned erotic mask. When we start to take that mask off,
Speaker 1: you start to see that people are much more varied
Speaker 1: in their sexual desire and what they really love. They
Speaker 1: start to learn that, oh, I didn't even know that
Speaker 1: I liked that. They start to go, oh, I'm free
Speaker 1: now to express that as they start to learn more
Speaker 1: and more and more about their sexuality. I think that's
Speaker 1: a very important point which you just touched on. There
Speaker 1: is um Sometimes I think in a relationship it could
Speaker 1: be difficult for a person or a couple to bring
Speaker 1: up topics like this to talk about what they want
Speaker 1: sexually and for people listening. Taking just from my own experience,
Speaker 1: taking this erotic blueprint quiz just sort of open the
Speaker 1: door a little bit from my wife and I. We
Speaker 1: have very good communication as it is, but it opened
Speaker 1: the door a little bit for us to just talk
Speaker 1: about more of this. And this was a platform in
Speaker 1: a way, um too, for me to voice what I want,
Speaker 1: things that are important to be. And then because we
Speaker 1: were both shapeshifters, we started discussing things different things, specific
Speaker 1: things that turn us on, whether it's a touch or
Speaker 1: a kiss of the ear or space or like just
Speaker 1: gently rubbing your hand or like your fingertips down the
Speaker 1: back or stuff like that. So, for if you're struggling
Speaker 1: people listening, if you're struggling in your relationship, to bring
Speaker 1: up something like this, or you want to bring up
Speaker 1: something like this. This is this Erotic Blueprint quiz is
Speaker 1: maybe a little bit of an icebreaker um that you
Speaker 1: can share with your partner to start this conversation. Should yeah, um, okay,
Speaker 1: I have one. I have a question for you then,
Speaker 1: So moving from that, jaya um, the sex quiz um,
Speaker 1: the Erotic Blueprint quiz? Can you give everyone listening one
Speaker 1: one or two really important questions from the quiz um?
Speaker 1: Maybe what the most important one is and what that
Speaker 1: answer might tell us? Is there anything that jumps out
Speaker 1: from this quiz? Absolutely? I love to just do an
Speaker 1: exercise with my partner. I'm most turned on when and
Speaker 1: go back and forth with one another. So um, one
Speaker 1: of the examples would be something like, I'm most turned
Speaker 1: on when I'm doing something I consider edgy, naughty or taboo.
Speaker 1: Or I'm most turned on when I'm immersed in a
Speaker 1: beautiful environment with amazing fragrances, music and sensual artistry. So
Speaker 1: how would you answer this, you guys, which which one
Speaker 1: of you are most turned on with edgy, naughty and
Speaker 1: taboo or beautiful environment with smells and music. And I
Speaker 1: have to admit I fell asleep when you were talking
Speaker 1: about the beautiful environment in the music in the artistra
Speaker 1: So what would you what would be your form deal
Speaker 1: which is more naughty taboo? I guess yeah, as I'm
Speaker 1: watching you, I notice too, like when I'm talking about
Speaker 1: those things, you light up a little bit. So I
Speaker 1: just when I watched body language a lot to just
Speaker 1: see when people light up or so I would agree
Speaker 1: with you on that one. The truth is I lit
Speaker 1: up because I was looking at Brooks and it's it's
Speaker 1: all of us, we're victims of it. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: get it. Um, to answer your question, I like, I
Speaker 1: really like an environment, So I like, UM like some
Speaker 1: dim lighting. I like like candles on music. Um, I
Speaker 1: like that. But then also something specifically that I that
Speaker 1: really gets me um in the mood would be when
Speaker 1: my wife wears lingerie. So when she comes, it's just
Speaker 1: there's an element of risque, there's an element of desire
Speaker 1: and lust and also a little space there. So she
Speaker 1: wears lingerie, but she's just like five or six ft away,
Speaker 1: or maybe she just walks around the bed a little
Speaker 1: bit or walks back or just creates a little bit
Speaker 1: of space there. Um is something that's very erotic for myself.
Speaker 1: Do you need a minute? Do you need a minute?
Speaker 1: I may, I got I got nervous because Brooks was like,
Speaker 1: I like a room. It smells good, it's dimly lit,
Speaker 1: and he started describing the room we're in right now,
Speaker 1: and it kind of made me a little bit. You
Speaker 1: guys are pretty, but you're not as pretty as my wife.
Speaker 1: And with the lingerie, that can be more sensual, or
Speaker 1: it could be sexual. You know, if it's the visual
Speaker 1: part of it, it's like seeing the body, it's like
Speaker 1: seeing the roundness of a butt or you know, seeing breasts,
Speaker 1: that that that piece is more of the sexual blueprint.
Speaker 1: But then if it's like I like the feeling of
Speaker 1: the lease and I like the colors, then that can
Speaker 1: be more sensual in the environment we actually she was
Speaker 1: cleaning out her lingerie or two days ago, um, and
Speaker 1: I told her to throw out everything that wasn't black
Speaker 1: or red, so anything that I had to pink on
Speaker 1: it or anything. I was like, I don't, I don't,
Speaker 1: and I think maybe in the past I might like that,
Speaker 1: but now anything black or red. To me, that's very sexy.
Speaker 1: And I think the other thing about lingerie is that
Speaker 1: to me, it emotes a feeling that she's excited and
Speaker 1: she's erotic. So when I when she puts it on,
Speaker 1: I mean I don't ask her to put on, she
Speaker 1: puts it on. I'm like, whoa, she's She's really in
Speaker 1: the mood and really erotic right now. And that, um,
Speaker 1: that stimulation mentally is a big part of the experience
Speaker 1: as well. When you say throw them away, you mean
Speaker 1: like donate them. Uh? Yeah, donated. We always, Dmitri, We
Speaker 1: always donate everything that we give away that we have
Speaker 1: no use for. I gave it to Rick. He's wearing
Speaker 1: it right now. Uh. You two gentlemen, what about you?
Speaker 1: What is something specifically? UM? I think mine, something like
Speaker 1: a turn on, is more probably more mental, and it's
Speaker 1: more of like I find situations to be to be exciting.
Speaker 1: So if you're out somewhere, maybe you're you know, you're
Speaker 1: I don't know, if you're out at a bar or
Speaker 1: a restaurant or with you know, and all of a
Speaker 1: sudden you realize you kind of connect with your partner
Speaker 1: and realize that you're both kind of thinking something and
Speaker 1: no one else knows that you're thinking this, and you
Speaker 1: have to go like, say, you're at a dinner party
Speaker 1: right and um, and you and you're and your wife
Speaker 1: are both aware that you're you're attracted to each other
Speaker 1: right now, but no one else knows. To me, that's
Speaker 1: exciting and you think, Okay, well we're gonna go through this.
Speaker 1: Are you going into the bathroom by the time you
Speaker 1: get home? When you go home, then it's then it's on.
Speaker 1: And so it's just that that acknowledgement of knowing and
Speaker 1: you're both kind of turned on, but no one else
Speaker 1: knows it. And to me, that's exciting. When you're can
Speaker 1: I jump in on this first? Because to each other,
Speaker 1: are you touching each other? I have something? I have
Speaker 1: something on this topic. So what you were just saying,
Speaker 1: I know what you're talking about. And here's a story
Speaker 1: from a teammate. I'm not going to say his name,
Speaker 1: but a teammate of mine. Brooks just winked when he
Speaker 1: said teammates continue, He bought and g I I'm interested
Speaker 1: to see what you think of this. He bought his
Speaker 1: wife vibrating underwear that he had a remote too. And
Speaker 1: so when they would go out and sometimes two team parties,
Speaker 1: a Christmas party, he would they'd be across the room
Speaker 1: from each other and he'd hit this button on the
Speaker 1: remote and her her underwear would vibrate and you could
Speaker 1: see her move and squirm a little bit, and it
Speaker 1: turned him on, and he told us about this. But
Speaker 1: what do you think about that? Gi, I don't know.
Speaker 1: This is probably for everyone listening, that is not what
Speaker 1: I was talking about. I was just thinking maybe you
Speaker 1: could add that indomitri, if that's what you're into. I've
Speaker 1: done this many times, and I recommend it for homework,
Speaker 1: especially for any of you who have kinky in your
Speaker 1: blueprint and you love the taboo and loved you know,
Speaker 1: the movie theaters um. And there are lots of different
Speaker 1: kinds of vibrating panties out there and all kinds of
Speaker 1: fun things. There's even apps that you can control from
Speaker 1: far away, so you don't even have to be there, Like,
Speaker 1: there's so many fun things that you can play with,
Speaker 1: and then you can create context around it of you know,
Speaker 1: your tonight. I own you, you know, in a in
Speaker 1: a good way own you because it's consent, but I
Speaker 1: own you your mind and therefore I get to control
Speaker 1: your pleasure. You can't have an orgasm until I say so.
Speaker 1: I'm going to, you know, turn this on and off,
Speaker 1: like these kinds of fun things where you can go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: is anybody else getting like insanely turned on your right now?
Speaker 1: I think we're all sitting down. They want complain about
Speaker 1: They won't complain about you being on your phone too much.
Speaker 1: That was That was amazing. That was amazing by the way, Gavin,
Speaker 1: he said he's the one that it's into the sucking
Speaker 1: of the big toes. So just so we cover that
Speaker 1: I do that that my wife really enjoys it when
Speaker 1: I suck on her toes. Yeah, true story. Interesting what
Speaker 1: I'm giving signals to Danielle. But please call People magazine. Hey,
Speaker 1: we play around. Why do you like? Do you like
Speaker 1: your toes? I don't know. I would never. My toes
Speaker 1: are in skates and workout shoes and I can shower
Speaker 1: and soap them off, but I would never. Hey, there
Speaker 1: are some people who are into that too. Let's see
Speaker 1: you're not wearing shoes right now? Oh yeah, oh yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: That one looks like it has a wig on. So
Speaker 1: that's a that's one anyway back on track here. So
Speaker 1: another great question that I like to ask is when
Speaker 1: it comes to sexual interaction, I mostly crave And if
Speaker 1: any of you go to take the quiz, you're gonna
Speaker 1: see these questions. So you can you can work with
Speaker 1: your partner and just say, tell me something that you
Speaker 1: crave when it comes to sex, and just go back
Speaker 1: and forth. This is a great exercise to start to
Speaker 1: open up the conversation. So here's another one. When it
Speaker 1: comes to sexual interaction, I mostly crave endless, timeless, erotic
Speaker 1: sessions where I am fed in always, when my hunger
Speaker 1: is seen and as a superpower instead of as overwhelming
Speaker 1: and too much. Or I crave scratching, slapping, squeezing, or
Speaker 1: holding or being held down. You can guess which blueprint
Speaker 1: that is. Or I crave mostly sexual penetration ending in
Speaker 1: a climax more intercourse overall. Or I crave amazing touch, massage,
Speaker 1: pleasure and my whole body. Or I crave my partner's
Speaker 1: full presence in this moment, my partner being fully present
Speaker 1: to my body, my heart, my soul, and my spirit. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's crazy, as you were just as you were talking
Speaker 1: about that, Um, do you recommend that couples take this
Speaker 1: quiz at the same time. Just a good question. I
Speaker 1: taking it separately really and then coming back and then
Speaker 1: talking about it. And and this is only if you
Speaker 1: really have struggled communicating about sex. You're gonna feel more comfortable.
Speaker 1: You're going to answer more honestly. If your partner is
Speaker 1: not there now, if the two of you are already comfortable,
Speaker 1: then yet go ahead and take it together. And then
Speaker 1: you're gonna get enlightened and be able to like, actually,
Speaker 1: stop while you're taking the quiz and go, let's talk
Speaker 1: about that one. Let's share more about that. What about
Speaker 1: that turns you on? That's another really great question if,
Speaker 1: for example, the big toe sucking. If you're turned on
Speaker 1: by big toe toe sucking, what about that turns you on? Yeah,
Speaker 1: So as you were just talking there, I was thinking,
Speaker 1: my wife and I have taken this quiz separately, but
Speaker 1: as you were just talking, I would like to take
Speaker 1: it with her at the same time, so we can
Speaker 1: look at the question together and voice why this I
Speaker 1: think this one and why she thinks that one. That's
Speaker 1: got a quick question for Brooks. When you said about
Speaker 1: the sucking the toe, now you said that's obviously a
Speaker 1: big turn on for your wife. Is that a turn
Speaker 1: on for you as well? Or is it like knowing
Speaker 1: that to turn on for her makes it do? Yes?
Speaker 1: I do? And I like I enjoy giving my wife
Speaker 1: a massage. I really enjoy like, um, touching her body
Speaker 1: and giving her a massage before just getting before as
Speaker 1: like four play before getting to just straight sex. Um.
Speaker 1: So and and that's every part of her body. And
Speaker 1: my wife's my wife's a dancer. So her whole life,
Speaker 1: her feet have been in high heels and her feet
Speaker 1: that she's a danced eight hours a day. Her feet
Speaker 1: are always sore, and so a big turn on for
Speaker 1: her because of her profession has been feet. And so
Speaker 1: there will be a lot of times where we're on
Speaker 1: the couch and she'll put her feet on me. She
Speaker 1: just like it's a it's a love language for her.
Speaker 1: If I rub her feet, she feels immensely loved and
Speaker 1: taken care of. Tell you a secret about feet. A spot,
Speaker 1: Oh please, let me look at the screen he's getting
Speaker 1: a pen hold on. It's called the bubbling spring and
Speaker 1: it's right below the big toe. Okay, I'm gonna show
Speaker 1: you guys my feet right here. Spring, that's it there,
Speaker 1: that's it right there. Gorgeous, But I think that's where
Speaker 1: my blister is, though, can you too hard? Can you
Speaker 1: elaborate on the bubbling spring? And why you show the stuff?
Speaker 1: So I know a whole lot of different sexual modalities.
Speaker 1: I studied a whole lot about ancient cultures and sexuality.
Speaker 1: So this is a Taoist practice and it goes in
Speaker 1: with Chinese medicine. But there's a there's an act pressure
Speaker 1: point right there, and a lot of times when I
Speaker 1: have clients will go right to that spot when we
Speaker 1: start to get into higher pleasure and we'll press on
Speaker 1: that spot and it just sends them crazy, like they'll
Speaker 1: start to get dibrasions through their whole body and kind
Speaker 1: of like shaking. It's really fun um So so pressing
Speaker 1: in that spot stimulates one of the meridians that goes
Speaker 1: up into the kidneys and it and it's I can
Speaker 1: get into all kinds of fun stuff there, but I
Speaker 1: think that that's enough brain package there for the fun facts.
Speaker 1: And you guys get it. Just pressing right there, you
Speaker 1: can go right up into the meridian and then it
Speaker 1: can starts to get convulsions into the body. It's really
Speaker 1: fun bubbling spring of the foot. Maybe we'll have to
Speaker 1: put a picture on our Instagram page for yeah, so
Speaker 1: you can find it easier for everybody next to the manator.
Speaker 1: Which of you will be our foot model? Probably not.
Speaker 1: Ryan claimed today he was going to be a hand model.
Speaker 1: So maybe Ryan's gonna be if we can get those
Speaker 1: orthopedic shoes off and we can probably get a picture
Speaker 1: of his feet. Jaya, can you hold your foot up
Speaker 1: again for our camera? Oh, Tori has taking a picture
Speaker 1: right there. You. Brooks is so distracted he just called
Speaker 1: Danielle Tory. Did I just getting Tori more airtime? Do
Speaker 1: you enjoy giving a massage to Julianne If you don't,
Speaker 1: or if you know that it's not going to lead
Speaker 1: to sex, yes, yeah, I'll probably almost do that daily. Um,
Speaker 1: she like I'll be most days there will be some
Speaker 1: element of rubbing her feet or shoulders or something. I
Speaker 1: know she really appreciates it. There's other times she just
Speaker 1: comes and puts her feet right on me. So, um,
Speaker 1: yes I do. I I would for sure. Well, thanks
Speaker 1: for making the rest of us look like, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't do it. Let's be honest, it's probably not every day,
Speaker 1: but it's not an in common occurrence. You're gonna do
Speaker 1: it more that you know about the bubbling spring, though
Speaker 1: I have never tried the bubbling spring. Maybe good nights
Speaker 1: the nights tonight bubbling spring and I'll and I'll stay
Speaker 1: here that it just shows blueprinting, like nobody's wrong or bad.
Speaker 1: Like if you just like to give the shoulder massage
Speaker 1: for five seconds and then get to intercourse, that's awesome,
Speaker 1: Like that's that was me right, Like I like, get
Speaker 1: me a little bit turned on, and then I want
Speaker 1: to go straight to intercourse. I want to go straight
Speaker 1: to penetration. And there's nothing wrong or bad about that.
Speaker 1: That's just perhaps the type that you are. Now if
Speaker 1: you like to give a five hour massage or you know,
Speaker 1: thirty minute massage and you don't need, like you feel
Speaker 1: fulfilled in that, you're great too, Like nobody is wrong,
Speaker 1: bad or broken. And I think that's one of the
Speaker 1: messages that I really want to get across. Because we
Speaker 1: don't talk about sex, we feel we get in a
Speaker 1: comparison game like oh my god, that person is having
Speaker 1: all these different orgasms or this or that as opposed
Speaker 1: to you are just who you are erotically right now,
Speaker 1: in this moment, and that's okay. Now, can you grow absolutely,
Speaker 1: But who you are erotically is not bad and wrong
Speaker 1: or strange or not normal. The majority of people out
Speaker 1: there feel like they're abnormal, and I'm here to say
Speaker 1: you are normal, and you're erotic mapping most likely, and
Speaker 1: you're not broken. Wow, that's amazing. Yeah, I find it
Speaker 1: fascinating that you said you were a fan of the
Speaker 1: five second massage, but yet ten minutes ago you told
Speaker 1: us about your thirteen hour marathon sessions. I don't know
Speaker 1: where the rest of the time goes. But she also
Speaker 1: said you said that erotic blueprints can change over time. Yes,
Speaker 1: So have you seen that happen in any of the
Speaker 1: couples you've worked with, where maybe they start out as
Speaker 1: one and then how long over time? How long are
Speaker 1: we talking? Is it a year? Is it five years?
Speaker 1: Or like for people Rick and Dmitri have both been
Speaker 1: married almost fifteen years. Would you say, in the course
Speaker 1: of their lives that you think their erotic blueprint is
Speaker 1: probably shifted or their wives has shifted. Yes, So we
Speaker 1: have different things that happen in life that can create
Speaker 1: a shift in blueprint. So birth of a child can
Speaker 1: create a shift in blueprint. Longevity of the relationship can
Speaker 1: create a shift to menopause. You know, life changes, injuries, sickness,
Speaker 1: or many things that can shift our blueprint, as well
Speaker 1: as partner shifts. So if you're single and you're listening,
Speaker 1: that can also change depending upon the partner that you get.
Speaker 1: We're looking at polarization. Oftentimes we polarized in relationship. So
Speaker 1: what I see happen is as people gain awareness of
Speaker 1: their blueprint, and they have this awareness, they're then able
Speaker 1: to go, Oh, I can expand into all these different languages.
Speaker 1: Now influent in like you said, five six different languages.
Speaker 1: I can speak all the different erotic languages. And therefore,
Speaker 1: no matter what life hits me with, or what life
Speaker 1: change happens, or how things shift, I'm able to go
Speaker 1: in and create epics X Wow, epic sex, Ryan, epic sex. Amen,
Speaker 1: He's blown away. Your mind is blown. Um. I want
Speaker 1: to thank you so much, Jaya. Can we give her
Speaker 1: a round of applause? Um? First, I want to commend you.
Speaker 1: Just listening to you speak, You're attacking an area that
Speaker 1: socially is maybe as you said, taboo or hush hush,
Speaker 1: and you're very bold and courageous, and I want to
Speaker 1: acknowledge that. Um, yeah, you you attack this and you
Speaker 1: try and open this platform for other people to have
Speaker 1: a voice in and to feel expressed and understood by
Speaker 1: their partners. So, um, anybody listening can take the Erotic
Speaker 1: Blueprint quiz at Erotic Breakthrough dot com. But where can
Speaker 1: they find you and get in touch with you? Because
Speaker 1: you are you are a hot topic from our listeners
Speaker 1: from the episode with my wife and now after our
Speaker 1: listeners here you talk. I'm sure your your email is
Speaker 1: gonna be full and your phone's gonna bring it off
Speaker 1: the hook. But where is the best place for our
Speaker 1: listeners to get in touch with you? Jaya dot Love
Speaker 1: is my website, So it's j A I y A
Speaker 1: dot love l O B E. If you want to
Speaker 1: visit our website, but go take the quiz Erotic Breakthrough
Speaker 1: dot com and you'll see me talking on videos you
Speaker 1: You'll get a video with me and you'll get connected
Speaker 1: with us there. I'm also on Facebook and all those
Speaker 1: good social media platforms, and I want to also just
Speaker 1: acknowledge you guys for having this conversation. I know that
Speaker 1: this could be edgy territory and you're opening a box.
Speaker 1: And one of my big missions in life is to
Speaker 1: have a conversation community around sexuality, and you're all putting
Speaker 1: yourselves out there too, So just thank you so much
Speaker 1: for having me on, for having this conversation. It really
Speaker 1: means a lot to me. Thank you so much. Thank you.
Speaker 1: We appreciate and like I said, my wife, my wife,
Speaker 1: if you're ever in l A would love to take
Speaker 1: you out for dinner, have you up to the house.
Speaker 1: But some at some point we'll be in touch real
Speaker 1: soon because she's a massive fan of yours and all
Speaker 1: the work that you do, and she's very explorative and
Speaker 1: curious in this space. So that's how I got into it.
Speaker 1: So credit to her, Um, and credit to you for
Speaker 1: all the work that you do. And I'm sure that
Speaker 1: I will be seeing your face or talking to you
Speaker 1: very soon. So thank you for the time today. Really
Speaker 1: appreciate it. Thank you, good sirs for you opening up
Speaker 1: um about some intimate topics, and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: Is Gavin. Hello, it's Givin. What a brother? What's going on?
Speaker 1: Some ice cream cake? We miss you? Somebody? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: miss you guys. Back man what are you doing right now,
Speaker 1: hanging man, I'm on the tour bus, hanging out with
Speaker 1: my dog and uh, buddy, give us so tour kicked
Speaker 1: off on Thursday. How's it going so far, buddy, man,
Speaker 1: it better be going good. I'm in trouble. Hopefully this
Speaker 1: podcast someday makes money and it can be your backup
Speaker 1: plan in case the vocals, in case the vocals disappear,
Speaker 1: or or the offers on the table from all four
Speaker 1: of us to turn us into like a boy band
Speaker 1: of five man band band. Yeah, there's nothing. There's nothing
Speaker 1: cooler than a man band. And I think, I think,
Speaker 1: I think we should all have our have our own
Speaker 1: independent stylists where we show up and like, you know,
Speaker 1: we do like you know, like one of us is,
Speaker 1: you know, the hot one, and one of us is
Speaker 1: not as hot one. And then there's a third one
Speaker 1: who's not as hot as the one that is. And
Speaker 1: then there's there's the one who are the one, the
Speaker 1: one who knows, but the one who everybody likes because
Speaker 1: he knows that he's not hot, but he's okay with
Speaker 1: not being the hot one. And then there's the other
Speaker 1: one who's like girls like him just because they know
Speaker 1: that he would never even claim to accept the fact
Speaker 1: that he was. Where are you going there? There's only
Speaker 1: five of us, but that was you caught that too.
Speaker 1: That was the sixth guy. But all the cousins of
Speaker 1: the man band members who also would be out and
Speaker 1: I'll start up their own social accounts, I think. And
Speaker 1: then back to your stylist point, buddy, I think I'd
Speaker 1: have the best stylist because right now I'm wearing a
Speaker 1: Gavin the graw T shirt, the new merch there's a
Speaker 1: big there's like a big moon behind you. I just
Speaker 1: text you the photo we did. Hey, I don't know.
Speaker 1: We made shirts for boys. Hey put it this way,
Speaker 1: you put it this way. You sold five shirts already. Dude.
Speaker 1: He cut off the sleeves. He rolled it up like
Speaker 1: I'll put I'll post it on our Instagram for you
Speaker 1: to see everybody's best damn shirt. This might be my
Speaker 1: new date night. It's a good workout shirt. To you know,
Speaker 1: this is a date You don't wear shirts on date night.
Speaker 1: Which ones did you get? Because I tried to mail
Speaker 1: you guys a little the little half shirts were talking
Speaker 1: about should we cut the sleeves off? Cut these off?
Speaker 1: At the belly and send just the photo. Do you
Speaker 1: saying we're your biggest fans. We just did that thing
Speaker 1: where you pull it up to the neck and pull
Speaker 1: it down so it's like it it looks like a
Speaker 1: tube top. I do got a commandia though, brother. This
Speaker 1: T shirt is extremely comfortable and I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: share it on my Instagram page to plug your rch
Speaker 1: because we want you to get your grotto. You're not
Speaker 1: getting any checks from hell men think, so we we
Speaker 1: gotta get that merged flying off the shelves and get
Speaker 1: you your grotto. Okay, well that was death Ray Jenner seven.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you why those are so soft because
Speaker 1: I hand washed them, so I thought you were going
Speaker 1: you hand knit them, and then they smelled so good
Speaker 1: because I call drive my dog with them before I
Speaker 1: pulled them up and put them in the boxes to distribute.
Speaker 1: You're a hard working man. Yeah. By the way, I
Speaker 1: saw a picture. I saw a picture of your dog
Speaker 1: on your Instagram um um, and then I comment, I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, we gotta get we gotta get him
Speaker 1: a play date with our boy Coda. You know we
Speaker 1: should do We should start a TV show that's like
Speaker 1: it's like chips, but two dogs dogs, but they're like
Speaker 1: they're they're they're canine dogs that are a duo. That's
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. To have their own merchandizing. They
Speaker 1: can start. We could have our own video game video
Speaker 1: bubble heads. That's right. So there's there's alcohol on the
Speaker 1: tour bus. It seems. Yeah, Hey, Gavin, yav we just
Speaker 1: talked to miss Jaya, the sexual blueprint woman, sexologists, the sexologists.
Speaker 1: Wait a second, was she the one um my wife
Speaker 1: references the dark haired girl. Yes, yeah, yeah, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: she's a sexologist. I guess we had to sum it
Speaker 1: up and give you the cliff notes. Brooks sucks Julianne's tone.
Speaker 1: It's pologist, somebody who basically makes drinks but with generals.
Speaker 1: Uh maybe that's I can't say no, but I mean,
Speaker 1: if that's a really profound question enough, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: But anyway, so she ran us through the have you
Speaker 1: taken the quiz? Have you taken your erotic blueprint quiz?
Speaker 1: Because we were all kind of laughing and wondering what
Speaker 1: you might be. Man, I'm not much for schoolwork. I
Speaker 1: think Gavin's Gavin's got an Eurotic tattoo. He doesn't go
Speaker 1: for the blueprint. It's a straight tattoo. The problem with
Speaker 1: me and quizzes and the second someone even says the
Speaker 1: word quiz, I just break out sweating profusely and start
Speaker 1: feeling a little bit noxious. So anyway, it gives you
Speaker 1: this answer of whether you are energetic as as like
Speaker 1: your sexual energy is energetic, kinky, uh, sensual? Sexual sensual
Speaker 1: or a shape shifter? And so we're all all four
Speaker 1: of us were different things. Um isn't that the nature
Speaker 1: of a shape shifter or that they would be different things?
Speaker 1: So are you all shape shifters? No? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'm a shape shifter. The other guys are? I was apexual?
Speaker 1: Rick shape shifter? Sap. When you say, when you say
Speaker 1: shape shifter, does that make me like con man? Think
Speaker 1: of it like you can play you can think of
Speaker 1: it like you can play all of the instruments in
Speaker 1: the band, Like you can play the drums, the bass,
Speaker 1: the guitar, and you can suck a cringing over there.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make sense of this analogy. But OK,
Speaker 1: so we took the question I'm going to sit next.
Speaker 1: Do you want the answer to that? Because it's you're
Speaker 1: gonna go Oh, of course Amy was kinky. A was
Speaker 1: kinky self, admittedly kinky or like, she didn't even take
Speaker 1: the test. She just came right out with it. And
Speaker 1: there's a pole running, there's a pole running that you're
Speaker 1: probably kinky as well. Oh that's the pole. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: what's the wager? I just made it up? Hell, I mean,
Speaker 1: I want to know the odds because all that all
Speaker 1: bet a hundred bucks that says you come out kinky.
Speaker 1: Hey man, it's very possible. I think basically, uh, if
Speaker 1: I was to discuss this in public, which I would
Speaker 1: never do. Nobody's listening to this, No, I would say
Speaker 1: that you uh, you basically uh have to become whatever
Speaker 1: the environment is, right, But at the same time you
Speaker 1: have your own you know, your own I guess version
Speaker 1: of adapting to the moment, right. So I don't know
Speaker 1: what that makes me, but hopefully I I'm adaptable. I
Speaker 1: think that makes you a shape shifter. You're sort of
Speaker 1: you play with all these Actually I have to say
Speaker 1: that that actually kind of makes me a little bit.
Speaker 1: They call that a one man band, son one man band.
Speaker 1: That's right, that's too funny. I think the best part
Speaker 1: about this is that probably this isn't even going on.
Speaker 1: You guys are just sent me like, yeah, so I'm
Speaker 1: what are you gavin to grow? Are you super kink
Speaker 1: super in? In our conversation with the sexologist, one of
Speaker 1: us in the group divulged that he sucks his wives
Speaker 1: wife's toes. Which, among the four of us here today,
Speaker 1: do you believe that to be Huh, well, it wouldn't
Speaker 1: be Brooks interesting, would be talk us through your logic
Speaker 1: as you eliminate people. Somebody who gets to put their
Speaker 1: feet up on their desk at work, so they think
Speaker 1: that perhaps they have a clean foot. Somebody somebody somebody
Speaker 1: somebody who does who they have never bought open to
Speaker 1: choose for. And uh somebody who also um somebody who
Speaker 1: also must have very very nice looking feet, I mean
Speaker 1: very nice feet. They have very very bad teeth and
Speaker 1: they don't care what coasts in their mouth. So who
Speaker 1: is your guests for? Who on our panel sucks their
Speaker 1: wives toes? Who sucks your wives toes? Uh? Ryan wrong?
Speaker 1: I take that as a compliment, thank you, but the
Speaker 1: that is not correct. Next, a process of elimination actually
Speaker 1: is that insulting? Or is that a compliment. It's not Brian. Okay, sick.
Speaker 1: Hold on a second, now, maybe Rick would do it.
Speaker 1: Why do you think Rick would do it? Because I've
Speaker 1: seen him swim in a dirty lake. You won't even
Speaker 1: suck a lollipop. He's out what they say, a pig
Speaker 1: will always find dirt. Okay, So it's not Rick. Not
Speaker 1: so it is not Ryan. You've guessed Ryan and Ricken
Speaker 1: is not Ryan or Rick. He's sort of ruling out Brooks.
Speaker 1: But I don't know if you guys got you guys
Speaker 1: got me feeling lucky. I need to spend more time
Speaker 1: in Las Vegas. We're going there, buddy, September nine. We're
Speaker 1: going there for the iHeart Music Fest we're doing and
Speaker 1: and I might need your weight on this, but I
Speaker 1: am leveraging Amy hard to put us at the Blaggio
Speaker 1: or the Venetian. And she's saying, we kind of have
Speaker 1: accommodation somewhere else, and I said, no, Gavin will not
Speaker 1: put up with that Blaggio. Listen, all I heard was wait,
Speaker 1: do you call me fat? That was like ten minutes ago.
Speaker 1: All the ice cream cake is gone. Okay, back to it.
Speaker 1: Who do you think it is? Rick? Or do you
Speaker 1: think it's Dmitri or myself. Man, I don't know. Man,
Speaker 1: this is the hardest game of roulette I've ever played. Gentlemen, Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Well, you're the newly win, I mean
Speaker 1: newly wins, dude, see your honeymoon face. So probably everbat
Speaker 1: anything right about now. So we'll see in twenty years
Speaker 1: if you're still sucking. That's rights Brooks its Yeah, of course,
Speaker 1: I was the first word out of your mouth. It's
Speaker 1: not Brooks's how it goes. Of course, there's a little twist.
Speaker 1: Brooks sucks Ryan's wife's toes. No, buddy, buddy, how's the tour?
Speaker 1: How's um? How's life on the tour? So it's good man.
Speaker 1: I love torns, so I love the road, and I
Speaker 1: happen to love being on the tour buses. So it's
Speaker 1: just kind of just a comfortable place for me and
Speaker 1: I I'm just somebody who likes watching the miles kicked by. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not a big airplane fan. Um. I much prefer
Speaker 1: choling on tour buses. I got a question, probably for
Speaker 1: the listeners want to hear any answer. I mean, do
Speaker 1: you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the bus. What
Speaker 1: are you? What are you doing on the bus? Do
Speaker 1: you stop over? Do you have an agenda on where
Speaker 1: you want to stop and eat and visit things? I
Speaker 1: looked some stuff up online, you know, like uh use
Speaker 1: you know, use the apps, like where do you recommend
Speaker 1: I eat such and such a town? You know, do
Speaker 1: a little research and uh find recommended places and talk
Speaker 1: to locals. Also when you get a certain places and
Speaker 1: say what's the best place in town? And what place
Speaker 1: would you? You know, where where do the tourists go?
Speaker 1: So don't send me there? Send me where like you
Speaker 1: would go with your you know, with your friends or whatever.
Speaker 1: You know, you find exactly exactly. You find some great
Speaker 1: stuff out on the road. You know, there's some great
Speaker 1: great hole holes in the wall and places like that,
Speaker 1: and there's some great better dining and worth dining and
Speaker 1: you know taverns and pubs and stuff like that. So um,
Speaker 1: there's just a lot. There's a lot of world to see.
Speaker 1: You know, my liver is willing to do all of it.
Speaker 1: Do you only eat at places that guy Fiery has
Speaker 1: eaten on? Diners, drivings and dives? Is that accurate? It's
Speaker 1: good enough for triple D it's good enough for the gav.
Speaker 1: You know that's correct. One way trip to flavor Town, Bud.
Speaker 1: Are you a donkey sauce on a flip flop? Do
Speaker 1: you know what the side deal with Guy Fieri here
Speaker 1: that I've always just wanted to work donkey sauce into
Speaker 1: a flip flop. That's into a podcast, missing accomplice, goodbye.
Speaker 1: Random question. Guys in flip flops? How do you think
Speaker 1: you were perceived socially? Because I was wearing flip flops
Speaker 1: today and I was thinking to myself, well, these are
Speaker 1: pretty comfortable, and somebody took a picture and I was like,
Speaker 1: come wearing flip flops so full transparency. Brother, If you
Speaker 1: could see me, I'm kicked back on the couch with
Speaker 1: one leg crossed over the other, and I have a
Speaker 1: pair of black flip flops on right now. That's all
Speaker 1: I wear. Are you watching the Golf Channel? No, I'm not.
Speaker 1: I've never I don't. My dad actually watches the I live.
Speaker 1: I live in flip flops. I'm either in workout shoes
Speaker 1: or flip flops. The weird thing is Brooks has socks
Speaker 1: on too, so they's a good luck. Are you? Are
Speaker 1: you rocking the sacks with the sandals right now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I am like he likes to keep his toes free
Speaker 1: for sucking. Don't don't never tell anybody else that, Um, nobody,
Speaker 1: You're You're fine in the flip flops. Um? Yeah, but
Speaker 1: what about what about the musician? For example, if I'm
Speaker 1: asking for a friend, if there's a musician on stage
Speaker 1: and he's wearing flip flops, how do you feel about
Speaker 1: that during this, like during the show or during Yeah,
Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't be a fan of that unless it
Speaker 1: was like Jimmy Buffett. It's like if you're okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So it has to shoot the music style. Yeah, is
Speaker 1: it like a little summer kind of festival, just kicking back, relaxed,
Speaker 1: just chill music. Or is it like what she's wearing one?
Speaker 1: What if he's up there playing his songs, he's wearing
Speaker 1: one very nice shoe and his wife is sucking on
Speaker 1: his other foot. I don't even know how to go
Speaker 1: with that one me neither question for you, buddy. Um,
Speaker 1: just to educate, Just to educate us so we know
Speaker 1: what you're going through out there. And then also our
Speaker 1: listeners are probably really super curious. What does an average
Speaker 1: day on tour look like like, let's say, uh, what
Speaker 1: do you have a show tonight? What does the full
Speaker 1: day on tour look like? Full day on tour? It's
Speaker 1: it's kind of it's hard to explain. It's a bit
Speaker 1: of a little bit like half hibernation, half hard work
Speaker 1: because you're you know, sitting your tour bus for a
Speaker 1: good part of the day hanging out just because it's
Speaker 1: your house. You know, your bus is your home on
Speaker 1: the road. You know, it's sort of like sort of
Speaker 1: like this just traveling cabin. Um. And then I'll go in,
Speaker 1: I'll rehearse with the band. Um, we'll do that for
Speaker 1: an hour or two or three hours. What time? What
Speaker 1: time is that material that's in the afternoon? Um? And
Speaker 1: But but typically the hours are a little bit messed
Speaker 1: up because this sleep thing is a little bit inconsistent,
Speaker 1: depending because I don't know about what kind of sleeper
Speaker 1: you guys are. But if the bus stops, right, and
Speaker 1: it stopped frequently throughout the night because drivers want to
Speaker 1: take a break and hop off the bus and refuel, etcetera,
Speaker 1: you may wake up a few times throughout the night
Speaker 1: or several times throughout the night, So you're kind of
Speaker 1: sleeping on and off, on and off, on and off, working,
Speaker 1: taking a nap, working rehearsal, take a nap, go overter walk,
Speaker 1: check out the town, head back to a signing, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, do a meet and greet, hang with your fans,
Speaker 1: signed some autographs, player show, hang out after the show,
Speaker 1: sign autographs, take picture and stuff like that. Um, and
Speaker 1: then you roll out, usually very late at night because
Speaker 1: the best the best traveling time is in the middle
Speaker 1: of the night for the buses because there's no traffic.
Speaker 1: So do you guys leave I am? Do you leave
Speaker 1: it two am? That's common? That's common, you know, midnight
Speaker 1: to UM. Depends on how long the drive is. And
Speaker 1: if it's a really long drive, well we'll go out
Speaker 1: with double drivers, will bring a couple of drivers, um,
Speaker 1: you know, and uh, you know, a couple of drivers
Speaker 1: will split the shifts like that. What's your absolute favorite
Speaker 1: thing about being on tour? I like, I like not
Speaker 1: sticking around, you know what I mean. I like just
Speaker 1: kind of checking out the scenery and then hopping on
Speaker 1: the bus and split and then go to the next place.
Speaker 1: That's just what I like to do, you know. I
Speaker 1: like the fact that it changes every day, and I
Speaker 1: actually like the small inconveniences that kind of forced you
Speaker 1: to go out, and you know, it makes the most
Speaker 1: fundamental task become a task. You're like, oh, damn, I
Speaker 1: just ran out of whatever. I don't have a car here.
Speaker 1: I need to go figure out a ride to get
Speaker 1: to such and such. And to be honest with you,
Speaker 1: just because day to day life is so much easier
Speaker 1: at home and kind of like overly convenient at home
Speaker 1: tends to be overly convenient. Um, it's nice being down
Speaker 1: the road as it kind of the small things to
Speaker 1: do are actually pleasurable. I don't know how to I
Speaker 1: don't know how to over I can't really sell that
Speaker 1: idea to anybody. But if you just notice everything is
Speaker 1: where you're used to having it, and then you kind
Speaker 1: of get thrown into a different house in a different
Speaker 1: town every day. Um, you know, it's just it just
Speaker 1: changes your your routine sounds. I mean, it sounds like
Speaker 1: you're it sounds like you got it down. It sounds
Speaker 1: kind of cool. It's an adventure. It's like being I've
Speaker 1: been on tour with yeah, my wife and her brother,
Speaker 1: my brother in law. Um, and it is it's an eventure.
Speaker 1: You have little many adventures in every little city, like
Speaker 1: something goes wrong, you don't know where this is and
Speaker 1: you have to figure this out, and it's every day
Speaker 1: is kind of a new little day. You get to
Speaker 1: the new venues. There's different staff, Um, different places have
Speaker 1: you can probably attest to this. Some audiences in some
Speaker 1: places are exceptional and other ones you'll have to work
Speaker 1: harder to get them to feel some energy back from them. Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely,
Speaker 1: there's certain things about it that are really predictable, but
Speaker 1: there's certain things about it also that they're they're completely uncontrollable, right,
Speaker 1: and so you know, and the reality is you can
Speaker 1: give the same show, uh, tomorrow night. I think you
Speaker 1: give tonight and tonight's show people are next actolutely losing
Speaker 1: their minds and tomorrow night you may feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: they're you know, they're sleep at the wheel, but it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean they're not loving the show. Do you ever
Speaker 1: change the show set list from one night to the
Speaker 1: next night? Is a change? Yeah, well we'll alter some
Speaker 1: things and just to keep it fresh for ourselves up
Speaker 1: on stage. Um, you know, you get the few maybe
Speaker 1: a first a few nights going give it a little consistency,
Speaker 1: just so you feel like you have your bearings then
Speaker 1: to begin, you know, making making changes kind of like
Speaker 1: learning anything, you know what I mean, Like learning an instrument,
Speaker 1: The same thing with kind of learning your set list,
Speaker 1: and than any technique. You learn your technique and then
Speaker 1: you start expounding on your technique, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Same thing with same thing with the show the second
Speaker 1: you start, the second you get a few down and
Speaker 1: you're feeling you're really capable of it, that then you
Speaker 1: could start throwing throwing wrenches at it and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: and altering it a little bit here and there and
Speaker 1: kind of keeping it, keeping it interesting for yourself. Plus
Speaker 1: you know, there's a lot of revisitation, you know, with
Speaker 1: fans will come out. Some fans will come out to
Speaker 1: you know, one or two shows. Some fans come out
Speaker 1: to ten shows, do you know what I mean? And
Speaker 1: just showed people who come out to eight shows, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So, and and you want to
Speaker 1: give them some variation so that they go, oh wow,
Speaker 1: that night he played you know, some song that they
Speaker 1: haven't heard in you know, ten years, you know. So,
Speaker 1: and I think I think you need to do that
Speaker 1: right exactly we never know. It's like you played Chariot
Speaker 1: one night, or you know, I tend to play Chariot
Speaker 1: more often just because it was a hit, So you
Speaker 1: to play Chariot, I don't want to be not over you.
Speaker 1: Certain songs that are bigger hits, you try to you
Speaker 1: try to give those to your fans on a regular basis.
Speaker 1: Do you always save one of those for the core?
Speaker 1: And do you leave the stage and demand the standing
Speaker 1: ovation to woo you you gonna love this, so so
Speaker 1: get this, so my so my first, my first big
Speaker 1: hit was was I Don't want to be right, I
Speaker 1: don't want to be And I remember I started becoming
Speaker 1: a hit song, and I remember I was getting all
Speaker 1: these gigs um and and a lot of the gigs
Speaker 1: that were coming were sort of, uh like college type
Speaker 1: gigs right and and which almost seemed like the jokers
Speaker 1: on me because I quit school and so you know
Speaker 1: they're they be playing all these colleges, and I remember
Speaker 1: I wanted to change things up. So one day I
Speaker 1: go out and I played the song that's the big hit,
Speaker 1: um the first hit, and I played it like fifth
Speaker 1: song and by like the tenth song. They're like half
Speaker 1: as made people in there, and they showed up to
Speaker 1: hear one song. We got what we came herefore to
Speaker 1: see you later, sucker, you know, and so you know,
Speaker 1: but but you know, it's a little bit of a
Speaker 1: learning curve there. But at the same time, you know,
Speaker 1: you you you must play certain songs at your show.
Speaker 1: The song is that of your biggest hits, you gotta
Speaker 1: play those. It's important. What's your what's your favorite song
Speaker 1: right now? To play the one that you just like
Speaker 1: might not be the biggest hit, but the one that
Speaker 1: you yourself enjoy singing the most most recently. It would
Speaker 1: probably be the most recent one. Uh, that I've been
Speaker 1: wanting to add to the set list for a few
Speaker 1: years but haven't. It's called You Make My Heart Sing Louder,
Speaker 1: and uh because that was my mom's favorite song from
Speaker 1: my last record and uh yeah, now my mom is
Speaker 1: not around anymore. So it's so it was great to
Speaker 1: nail that one down in the studio or in the
Speaker 1: rehearsal studio. Um, I feel like we we finally we're
Speaker 1: executing it right, you know, to bring it out on
Speaker 1: tour this tour, will you will you intro it with
Speaker 1: that that it was your mom's favorite song and this
Speaker 1: is why you want to tell stories about the do
Speaker 1: you get? It depends on the night, you know. Sometimes
Speaker 1: some songs you roll right through. Yeah, Sometimes you pick
Speaker 1: your certain moments in the show to stay, you know,
Speaker 1: if you if you find this is something that that's
Speaker 1: really worth telling. Sometimes you tell little bits and pieces
Speaker 1: throughout the show and you think, oh, that's not connecting
Speaker 1: or maybe I'm talking too much throughout the show and
Speaker 1: taking the flow from the actual show. You know. So
Speaker 1: there's that fine line right between um, the bits of
Speaker 1: storytelling and the relatability stuff on stage. Uh, but also
Speaker 1: trying not to slow the showdown so much where they're like, man,
Speaker 1: this is a real snooze fest. If I thought we
Speaker 1: were too many story time, I would have gone to
Speaker 1: the bookstore, you know what I mean. So, you know,
Speaker 1: so you're trying to you try to find those sweet
Speaker 1: spots where you're we're the right times to the right
Speaker 1: times to engage the audience. Have you have you thought
Speaker 1: about giving a shout out and being like, listen, if
Speaker 1: you guys like hearing me talk, download the How Men
Speaker 1: Think podcast? That's right, I mean, these arenas are packed, right,
Speaker 1: you do this I agree with you, and we should
Speaker 1: have a T shirt that tays Brooks sucks toes. Ryan
Speaker 1: will make one for me. That's right by the way
Speaker 1: on your tour bus. Do you have do you This
Speaker 1: is gonna seem like a base on the side of
Speaker 1: the bus, doesn't I have like your autograph like that?
Speaker 1: That's you know what that says when you have your
Speaker 1: face on the side of your bus says I'm a
Speaker 1: big deal. I got my face on the side of
Speaker 1: a bus. Boom. It says, draw something in my mouth
Speaker 1: with the sharpie and on the outside. That's why Ryan
Speaker 1: was asking, you're gonna fly down there and do that?
Speaker 1: So here's the real important question, um, or actually, I'm
Speaker 1: just excited to say I'll see you in a couple
Speaker 1: of days at that place where we're doing the gig
Speaker 1: together that we told that we said we wouldn't tell
Speaker 1: the other guys about you know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: So I'll be excited to see you there. But um,
Speaker 1: how come, how come we haven't actually been offered a
Speaker 1: featuring gig on your tour. I thought we were good,
Speaker 1: or at least like maybe maybe there should be a
Speaker 1: day that you guys come at and we just sit
Speaker 1: on stage and we do an episode in front of
Speaker 1: the audience. So see what he did there. You see
Speaker 1: what he did there. That's a deflection. That's a classic.
Speaker 1: But I like this better. I'd rather go talking for
Speaker 1: the audience than go and sing. No. But he just
Speaker 1: said what he just said in in a polite way,
Speaker 1: was you guys can't sing worth? Yeah, no, he's right, though, No,
Speaker 1: that's not what I said. What I meant to say
Speaker 1: was what I meant to say was what you guys
Speaker 1: show up. I'm gonna need some extra hands moving the gear, alright.
Speaker 1: But Ryan wants his face on the bus though, Man, absolutely, well,
Speaker 1: we all got sharpie. Be careful, be careful. What the
Speaker 1: portrait you put up? Man? I think yeah, I think
Speaker 1: that would be great. Come on out if you want
Speaker 1: to get up and we'll do a little jam. You
Speaker 1: guys play any instruments I do. I play guitar, I
Speaker 1: played drums, and I play piano. Is that true? That's true?
Speaker 1: When I was seven, eight and nine, my mom said
Speaker 1: I had to take piano lessons. She took piano, and
Speaker 1: she said I had to take piano where I couldn't
Speaker 1: play hockey. So I learned piano at a very young age.
Speaker 1: And then when I turned pro, I was nineteen years
Speaker 1: old and a trainer in our room. His dad had
Speaker 1: got arthritis, and his dad played guitar and had nine
Speaker 1: guitars for sale. He was trying to sell his dad's guitar,
Speaker 1: and I said, I'll buy one, Just give me one.
Speaker 1: All buy like I can make it. You're like I
Speaker 1: can make it. I can make a stick out of this.
Speaker 1: And then so that's how I picked up guitar. And
Speaker 1: then I used to go to the guitar center to
Speaker 1: get new strings and look at guitars and all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. And in the one day I was
Speaker 1: in there, there was a sale on drums, and I
Speaker 1: just bought a set of drums so I can play
Speaker 1: my drumming. I actually I love drums, man. When I
Speaker 1: had when I had drums and guitar in my basement
Speaker 1: in my house, I would go downstairs and I would
Speaker 1: gravitate towards the drums first. I wish I would. I
Speaker 1: have never taken any lessons in in guitar or drums
Speaker 1: um and ended up giving them away when I left
Speaker 1: d c UM. But it's so much fun, man, You
Speaker 1: can lose yourself in music. It is so much fun. Yeah, absolutely,
Speaker 1: they say that. They say that, and I don't know
Speaker 1: if this is true, but they say that people who
Speaker 1: played drums and people who study martial arts that their
Speaker 1: brain actually rewires itself for for your limb independence. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's the first thing. You have to completely big time.
Speaker 1: Have you ever played drums? Have you played, like, sat
Speaker 1: down and tried to play those drums? Can you? I
Speaker 1: only do it for money, Um, it is, but you
Speaker 1: have to break everything everything, Like your limbs all move
Speaker 1: in sequence. They go up and down together, and you
Speaker 1: have to break that change so they can move in depends.
Speaker 1: He's a black belt on the snare drum. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: um well, buddy, we appreciate you taking the time. I
Speaker 1: know you're super busy. I know tour life is excited
Speaker 1: to talk to you guys. And we missed you at
Speaker 1: the lake man. I know, I know I missed you
Speaker 1: guys too. I heard all these stories. Um, I heard
Speaker 1: you and Dmitri had a nice little heard you and
Speaker 1: Dmitri had a nice little date around the lake. He
Speaker 1: filled us in on the dude. They started saying we
Speaker 1: had a romantic drive around the lake and finally I
Speaker 1: just gave in and I said, you know what, it
Speaker 1: was pretty nice. That's it. That's it us. And uh,
Speaker 1: you know, a couple of solo cups and a bottle
Speaker 1: of Corbel. We got crazy and buddy and Buddy, that's it. Um, well, dude,
Speaker 1: we wish you the best. We wish you the best
Speaker 1: of luck on tour at some point, at some point
Speaker 1: we'll come out and see you. Um, just huge fan,
Speaker 1: huge out of your music. Um. Where can people get
Speaker 1: tickets for the tour right now? Where can they go?
Speaker 1: I just go just go to my name Gavin to
Speaker 1: Grow and just type up Gavin to Grow on tour
Speaker 1: and you tickets right there and buy the v I
Speaker 1: P that's right by the v I P or not
Speaker 1: and just come on and take out the show man.
Speaker 1: It's all about the music. So we come out and
Speaker 1: we do what we do and we put some smiles
Speaker 1: on faces. We'll have fun. Man. We miss you, yeah, man, thanks, yeah, brother,
Speaker 1: miss you too, sugar man. Yeah yeah. Shout out to you. Amy.
Speaker 1: She loves you, she said she loves you. She misses
Speaker 1: you too. Love she said she's kinky. Okay, buddy, travel
Speaker 1: safety Well, um, have a fun, have a blast out there,
Speaker 1: and for everybody else listening, take care of one another,
Speaker 1: love one another, and we will see you right back
Speaker 1: here for another episode of How Men Think Next week Licktoes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: hey guys, it's Brooks and one last thing before we
Speaker 1: let you go. If you like today's episode, we would
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Speaker 1: that would be amazing as well. We always look forward
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