WEBVTT - Nurture your virtual relationships

0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:06.720
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:14.040
<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

0:00:14.640 --> 0:00:18.040
<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is about how to build and maintain close

0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:22.720
<v Speaker 1>ties with people you mostly see virtually. In the past

0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.239
<v Speaker 1>few weeks, plenty of people have been trying remote work

0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:29.520
<v Speaker 1>for the first time. It's necessary under the circumstances, but

0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:32.000
<v Speaker 1>I know that for many people there's an assumption that

0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:36.080
<v Speaker 1>it's a poor substitute for an in person connection. Whole

0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:39.640
<v Speaker 1>industries of business travel have been built around the idea

0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:43.240
<v Speaker 1>that in order for people to work well and creatively together,

0:00:43.800 --> 0:00:46.480
<v Speaker 1>they need to spend a lot of time face to face.

0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:50.200
<v Speaker 1>As someone who's been working from home since two thousand two,

0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:53.280
<v Speaker 1>I think this is kind of ridiculous. As one example,

0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:56.520
<v Speaker 1>I co host my other podcast, Best of Both Worlds,

0:00:56.800 --> 0:00:59.639
<v Speaker 1>with Sarah hart Unger, who's a practicing physician who lives

0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:02.880
<v Speaker 1>in Floor It to I live in Pennsylvania. She and

0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:05.240
<v Speaker 1>I have seen each other in person just half a

0:01:05.240 --> 0:01:08.520
<v Speaker 1>dozen times over the last five years, but we have

0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:11.640
<v Speaker 1>managed to start and run an enterprise together and have

0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:14.640
<v Speaker 1>quite a bit of fun doing it. These things don't

0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:17.120
<v Speaker 1>need to be either or I'm certainly not saying that

0:01:17.160 --> 0:01:20.200
<v Speaker 1>you never need to see people in person, but we

0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:24.000
<v Speaker 1>won't all be engaged in social distancing forever. When we

0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:26.360
<v Speaker 1>are on the other side of this, we can all

0:01:26.400 --> 0:01:29.920
<v Speaker 1>recalibrate what should happen in person and what really doesn't

0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:34.000
<v Speaker 1>need to, thus saving time and wear and tear on

0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:38.440
<v Speaker 1>our planet. So how do you maintain close virtual relationships?

0:01:39.160 --> 0:01:41.600
<v Speaker 1>I found that video conferences are a key part of it.

0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.360
<v Speaker 1>Sarah and I use Squadcast to record our podcasts, which

0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:48.280
<v Speaker 1>allows us to see each other and our guests even

0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:51.520
<v Speaker 1>though we're only recording audio. I have a Zoom Pro

0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:54.720
<v Speaker 1>account to which I use all the time. FaceTime on

0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:57.120
<v Speaker 1>your phone is good for one on one type stuff.

0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:00.720
<v Speaker 1>Before there were good video conferencing options. It's true that

0:02:00.840 --> 0:02:04.559
<v Speaker 1>remote work did feel more distant, but now this isn't

0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:07.680
<v Speaker 1>true at all. And unless we're talking about someone you're

0:02:07.680 --> 0:02:11.040
<v Speaker 1>planning on touching a lot. The human brain has no

0:02:11.120 --> 0:02:14.200
<v Speaker 1>way of knowing that interacting with someone via video is

0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:17.360
<v Speaker 1>different than interacting in person, because how would it know this.

0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:20.160
<v Speaker 1>It's not like our caveman ancestors would have had a

0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:23.920
<v Speaker 1>way to see people without them being right there. This

0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:26.440
<v Speaker 1>is why people who are on television a lot report

0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:28.160
<v Speaker 1>that when people see them on the street or in

0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:31.320
<v Speaker 1>a restaurant, they act like they know them, as if

0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:35.120
<v Speaker 1>the relationship is mutual rather than one way. It's kind

0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:37.440
<v Speaker 1>of funny, but you can use that knowledge to your

0:02:37.480 --> 0:02:42.880
<v Speaker 1>advantage whenever you possibly can do video calls. Yes, this

0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:44.800
<v Speaker 1>means you need to build in time to brush your

0:02:44.800 --> 0:02:48.280
<v Speaker 1>hair or shave, but so it goes as a side note,

0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:52.799
<v Speaker 1>video calls massively cut down on the multitasking that happens

0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:57.240
<v Speaker 1>during audio only calls. They're much more efficient. Second, build

0:02:57.240 --> 0:03:00.639
<v Speaker 1>in socializing time into your video calls. Actually think it's

0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.040
<v Speaker 1>wise to build in social time to meetings in general,

0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:05.680
<v Speaker 1>but this is doubly important when you're not going to

0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:07.600
<v Speaker 1>be able to grab a cup of coffee or go

0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:11.480
<v Speaker 1>to lunch afterwards. I run one monthly video meeting where

0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:14.960
<v Speaker 1>we usually start with an icebreaker question. If the agenda

0:03:15.080 --> 0:03:17.800
<v Speaker 1>is planned well, you can still get through everything, and

0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:20.760
<v Speaker 1>given that any meeting is as much about the relationship

0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:24.519
<v Speaker 1>as the stated agenda, this is a good thing. Third,

0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:29.080
<v Speaker 1>be more systematic about reaching out. The human brain doesn't

0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:32.160
<v Speaker 1>naturally think of people that we don't see frequently. Again,

0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:35.120
<v Speaker 1>that's just the way we're built if someone disappeared from

0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:38.160
<v Speaker 1>our caveman tribe for six months, well, the odds weren't

0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:41.320
<v Speaker 1>good that person was coming back. So in our modern world,

0:03:41.640 --> 0:03:43.960
<v Speaker 1>you need a mechanism for thinking about the people you'd

0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:47.240
<v Speaker 1>like to maintain relationships with, even if you're not physically

0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:50.360
<v Speaker 1>seeing them all that often. Some people are kind of

0:03:50.360 --> 0:03:53.720
<v Speaker 1>funny about this. I get regular emails from people at

0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:57.240
<v Speaker 1>a certain time every three months, and I know that

0:03:57.280 --> 0:03:59.240
<v Speaker 1>they've probably made it a goal to reach out to

0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:04.120
<v Speaker 1>the people in their networks every quarter. Yes, kind of humorous,

0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:08.360
<v Speaker 1>but it's also effective. I remember these people. Frequency of

0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:11.280
<v Speaker 1>contact makes you feel closer than you might actually be,

0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:14.080
<v Speaker 1>So build in time to go through lists of your

0:04:14.160 --> 0:04:19.400
<v Speaker 1>social media connections, old colleagues, people on your Christmas card lists, whatever.

0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:21.839
<v Speaker 1>If you can come up with a decent reason to

0:04:21.839 --> 0:04:25.520
<v Speaker 1>send a note, then do so. And of course, take

0:04:25.560 --> 0:04:30.280
<v Speaker 1>advantage of random opportunities to subscribe to lots of industry newsletters,

0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:35.080
<v Speaker 1>and anytime you see someone mentioned that you know, reach out. Well,

0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:37.240
<v Speaker 1>none of this means that we never need to see

0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:40.120
<v Speaker 1>people in person. I found that these in person meetings

0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:44.120
<v Speaker 1>can be relatively infrequent and you can still feel quite close.

0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:46.840
<v Speaker 1>I have a small Mastermind group that have run for

0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:48.680
<v Speaker 1>a while, and I realized that I can count on

0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:51.360
<v Speaker 1>one hand the number of times I've seen its members

0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:55.239
<v Speaker 1>in person in the past five years. I would consider

0:04:55.279 --> 0:04:58.119
<v Speaker 1>all of them my good friends and colleagues. I believe

0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:01.640
<v Speaker 1>they'd say the same about me. All this self isolation

0:05:02.240 --> 0:05:05.640
<v Speaker 1>doesn't actually have to be isolating if you're smart about it.

0:05:06.560 --> 0:05:09.520
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear your tips for staying in touch virtually.

0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:13.360
<v Speaker 1>You can keep in touch with me virtually by emailing

0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:17.360
<v Speaker 1>me at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeart media dot com.

0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:21.040
<v Speaker 1>In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and

0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:29.760
<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:32.120
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

0:05:32.120 --> 0:05:35.800
<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:40.200
<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod

0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:45.240
<v Speaker 1>that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:48.960
<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:52.600
<v Speaker 1>podcast at iHeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast is

0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:55.400
<v Speaker 1>spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I

0:05:55.400 --> 0:06:03.480
<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

0:06:03.520 --> 0:06:06.760
<v Speaker 1>production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I

0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:10.680
<v Speaker 1>Heart Radio, visit the I heart radio, app, Apple podcasts,

0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:15.200
<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. H