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Speaker 1: We talk about finance and money so often in a

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Speaker 1: vacuum of like, this is the correct decision to make,

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Speaker 1: But we don't talk about what happens when life gets messy,

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Speaker 1: and how you have that really uncomfortable conversation with friends

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Speaker 1: and family or your spouse, or how to set your

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Speaker 1: kids up for success in a way that maybe you

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Speaker 1: weren't set up by your parents, and how do you

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Speaker 1: break those generational curses and turn them into generational wealth.

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Speaker 1: For Well Endowed, the hope was that I could give

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Speaker 1: folks a tool to help them in their actual life

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Speaker 1: decision making so that when they're making the biggest financial

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Speaker 1: choices throughout their journey, they don't have buyer's remorse.

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Speaker 2: Ava Fan, Welcome back to Brown Ambition. I have an

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Speaker 2: incredible guest in the house today, Vivian two, the author

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Speaker 2: of the New York Times best selling book Well Endowed.

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Speaker 2: Is it a dick joke? Yes, it is. Do we

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Speaker 2: like that in a personal finance book?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Way down. You know Vivian as your rich bff, your

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Speaker 2: favorite Wall Street girly who has blown up in fame

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Speaker 2: over the past five years, I mean overnight success. We're

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Speaker 2: going to talk about building her TikTok Empire, becoming a

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Speaker 2: two time New York Times bestselling author, but really like

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Speaker 2: getting down to earth about how success has changed the

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Speaker 2: way that she has used friendships and the way that

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Speaker 2: even she spends money every day strategic spending, building a

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Speaker 2: financial foundation for you and your family, creating that lasting

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Speaker 2: generational wealth. I will probably overshare about the reality of

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Speaker 2: being an entrepreneur slash stay at home mom and like

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Speaker 2: what kind of BS that can bring about in your life.

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Speaker 2: We really get into it. Vivian even talks about her

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Speaker 2: decision to go through an egg freezing journey with her

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Speaker 2: and her husband and what that has meant for them,

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Speaker 2: and how she sort of views the potential of becoming

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Speaker 2: a mom and a parent and how that can actually

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Speaker 2: potentially hinder her career. So I hope you enjoyed my

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Speaker 2: conversation with Vivian two. As always, don't forget to share

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Speaker 2: Brown Ambition with a friend that you know needs to

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Speaker 2: hear this episode of this content. Please follow me at

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Speaker 2: Brown Ambition Podcast on Instagram, and if you haven't left

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Speaker 2: a review yet, what are you waiting for? Please leave

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Speaker 2: a review or comment on this episode. If you're listening

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Speaker 2: on Spotify, or YouTube. All that engagement means a lot

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Speaker 2: to me, and I read every single one and usually

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Speaker 2: we'll get back to you. Thank you for listening. Ba fam.

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Speaker 2: Here's my conversation with Vivian two. Hey, Vivian, welcome to

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Speaker 2: Brown Ambition. Thank you so much for coming back to

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Speaker 2: the show.

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Speaker 1: Hey Andy, so good to see you.

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Speaker 2: As always, A lot has changed since you were last

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Speaker 2: year on Brown Ambition.

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Speaker 1: A lot has changed.

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Speaker 2: I got rid of my co host. She was todged.

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Speaker 2: Yes you know to go now. I love you, Tiffany,

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Speaker 2: But you were on your second I think by that

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Speaker 2: time you were on the show, it was promoting your

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Speaker 2: first book, rich Af, which was phenomenal in such a

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Speaker 2: huge success, Like I blinked, And now you have your

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Speaker 2: second book, baby, I know your second. I'm sorry New

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Speaker 2: York Times best selling.

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Speaker 1: Thank you. Oh baby, you have children, so you know this.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like after the craziness of the first book,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'll never do this again. And then

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Speaker 1: a couple months passed and I got the itch again,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, maybe it wasn't that bad, and

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Speaker 1: maybe I'll write another book, and I did, and then

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Speaker 1: you know again, of course, then it's the craziness and

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Speaker 1: you're like, ah, why did I do this? But I'm

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Speaker 1: happy I did, and I think I think people are

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Speaker 1: going to love this second book.

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Speaker 2: Well, I want to start just like with a little

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Speaker 2: intention setting and just like a grounding. I know you've

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Speaker 2: been on this whirldwind book tour. I know you were

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Speaker 2: the Internet's rich bff, and like a lot is demanded

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Speaker 2: of you to like always be on. But I feel

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Speaker 2: like my intention for you is just to like have

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Speaker 2: a good chat with a pal and someone who I

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Speaker 2: really admire and respect. And we've crossed paths a couple

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Speaker 2: of times over the years. Eason, Yeah, well you know,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, I'm really rooting for you, and I'm just

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Speaker 2: really happy to see everything sort of going the way

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Speaker 2: that it's been going. So I hope that you know,

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Speaker 2: this hour or so that we have together just feel

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Speaker 2: really okay, thanks for the love, just like you don't

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Speaker 2: have to be so on with ba fam. So you

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Speaker 2: mentioned that it was a couple of months in and

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Speaker 2: you were like, this is the book I want to write.

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Speaker 2: How did that come to you? I mean the first book,

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Speaker 2: rich af you really laid down the financial foundation for folks.

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Speaker 2: Now we're doing well endowed, which hilarious.

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Speaker 1: We love a dick joke, we love a fun, punny,

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Speaker 1: silly title.

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Speaker 2: We do so.

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Speaker 1: Basically, the first book, like you mentioned, was all about

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Speaker 1: laying the financial groundwork. I wanted you to get your

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Speaker 1: financial house in order. So let's talk about asking for

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Speaker 1: that raise, budgeting, saving investing, paying down debt, the basics

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Speaker 1: that need you need to have essentially to feel really

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Speaker 1: stable in your own financial picture. But what happened was

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Speaker 1: my life. So many things happened in between the first

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Speaker 1: and the second book. I ended up getting married, graulation,

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Speaker 1: thank you. I ended up going through a round of

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Speaker 1: egg freezing and it turning them into embryos with my husband.

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Speaker 1: I lived through so many of my friends having children,

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Speaker 1: a couple people getting divorced. Unfortunately, I'm also at that

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Speaker 1: age now where like some of my friend's parents are

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Speaker 1: passing away, And it was just a lot of life.

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Speaker 1: I lived a lot of life in between book one

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Speaker 1: and two. And what I realized is that we talk

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Speaker 1: about finance and money so often in a vacuum of

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Speaker 1: like this is the correct decision to make, but we

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Speaker 1: don't talk about what happens when life gets messy and

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Speaker 1: how you have that really uncomfortable conversation with friends and

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Speaker 1: family or your spouse, or how to set your kids

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Speaker 1: up for success in a way that maybe you weren't

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Speaker 1: set up by your parents, and how do you break

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Speaker 1: those generational curses and turn them into generational wealth. And

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Speaker 1: so for well In Dowed, the hope was that I

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Speaker 1: could give folks a tool to help them in their

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Speaker 1: actual life decision making so that when they're making the

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Speaker 1: biggest finance choices throughout their journey, they don't have buyer's

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Speaker 1: remorse fifty years down the line. And that was really

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Speaker 1: important to me because I think that my audience, as

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Speaker 1: I'm living mine, is also living their life, and we're

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Speaker 1: living kind of in parallel.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I think what I love about the book and

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Speaker 2: the way that its structured is like it's it's incredible.

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Speaker 2: It's sort of like I had. I mean, I can

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Speaker 2: say he felt rich, had an uncle who had a

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Speaker 2: decent job, and I went to college and he was

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Speaker 2: the one who would give me, like my first negotiation

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Speaker 2: advice when I first moved to New York. Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: was like, Uncle Royce, they're offering me forty five and

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Speaker 2: he's like, oh, it's for fifty five. Yeah, you know,

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Speaker 2: and this book feels like if you don't have an

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Speaker 2: uncle Royce, where you don't have someone to lean on

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Speaker 2: for I mean literally you break down. Like buying a house,

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Speaker 2: you go into like every scenario for buying a car. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: these like big, major financial choices. Why was it important

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Speaker 2: to you to really like go there into that depth

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Speaker 2: of detail which with each of these.

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Speaker 1: Choices, because nobody teaches us this stuff. And you and

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Speaker 1: I have been screaming this like the old man off

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Speaker 1: the side of the mountain, but like, it is so

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Speaker 1: frustrating to me that nobody walked me through the process

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Speaker 1: of buying a home in high school. Of like, at

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Speaker 1: some point in your life, you're going to want to

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Speaker 1: do this. This is most often the largest expense, largest

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Speaker 1: purchase every single person will ever make, is their home.

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Speaker 1: Why was I not explained the different types of mortgages.

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Speaker 1: Why was I not explained the different types of fees

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Speaker 1: I was going to have to pay? Why did I

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Speaker 1: not know what an inspector, an appraiser or any of

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Speaker 1: those things were. Should I get a broker or not?

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Speaker 1: I didn't know the question like the answer to any

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Speaker 1: of those questions, And it felt like I was building

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Speaker 1: the plane as I was already flying it, and that

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Speaker 1: was incredibly frustrating for me. So I wanted the details.

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Speaker 1: I wanted like if I needed a jump start, like

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Speaker 1: a quick, quick and dirty manual of like these are

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Speaker 1: the things I should be thinking about to then be

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Speaker 1: able to speak to an expert. Like That's why I

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Speaker 1: give that level of detail. It's not about, oh, we

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Speaker 1: can just manifest a better life. What are the actual

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Speaker 1: steps we have to take to get it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the first one of the first chapters, Frere, which

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Speaker 2: chapter it was? You can correct me, let me know

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Speaker 2: what it is in the book. I love how you

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Speaker 2: talk about de influencing and as someone who came to

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Speaker 2: fame literally on TikTok, like you're one of the og

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Speaker 2: Yeah you know TikTok overnight sick, not overnight, but you

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Speaker 2: know like if no overnight.

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Speaker 1: By the way, you weren't correct, my very first video

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Speaker 1: went viral, so it is overnight.

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Speaker 2: See that's what I should have been doing when I

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Speaker 2: was too busy, like breastfeeding during a pandemic and I'm kidding,

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Speaker 2: and yeah, but you had this overnight success and you

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Speaker 2: are you know, millions and millions and followers. Later, I

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Speaker 2: find myself on TikTok. Now I'm like, this is a

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Speaker 2: freaking shopping mall. Every video is someone selling me something.

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Speaker 2: No matter how earnest they are, it can be and

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Speaker 2: for me, I get a lot of stuff around, like,

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Speaker 2: you know, this is a book you need to get

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Speaker 2: your kids so that they hate you when you're you

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Speaker 2: know whatever. But yeah, can you talk about why that

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Speaker 2: was important? And like what do you mean by de

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Speaker 2: influencing and how is that important for people's financial journeys

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Speaker 2: as they become Yeah, well and done.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So to set the record straight, I love social media.

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Speaker 1: I do my work on social media, and I think

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Speaker 1: social media has provided a level of information access and

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Speaker 1: democratization that we've never seen before. And I think that's

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Speaker 1: incredibly great and powerful. But people forget that prior to

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Speaker 1: being your rich bff. In my past life, I worked

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Speaker 1: in digital media strategy sales at BuzzFeed. So I worked

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Speaker 1: at GP Morgan. Then I went to BuzzFeed and I

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Speaker 1: saw all of the evil things that happen on the Internet.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I was the one doing them. I was

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Speaker 1: working with an operations team to make the Internet a

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Speaker 1: worse place. We were putting ads on the Internet and

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Speaker 1: I saw some stuff that really scared me because I

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Speaker 1: realized that with two major things, targeting and tracking, I

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Speaker 1: could get inside of your head. So with targeting, I

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Speaker 1: can say, oh, I want to speak to twenty five

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Speaker 1: to forty four year old Asian or Latina black women

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Speaker 1: like people of color, they need to drive an SUV,

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Speaker 1: they need to be the head of household, they need

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Speaker 1: to have at least one child, and by the way,

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Speaker 1: they need to use Sharman toilet paper. That is terrifying

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Speaker 1: because back in our parents' generation, the only way that

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Speaker 1: you were able to be targeted prior to the rise

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Speaker 1: of the Internet was a store associate had to size

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Speaker 1: you up and be like, you look like you might

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Speaker 1: be in the market for a crock pot, but like

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Speaker 1: that was the best they could do. Now I can

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Speaker 1: literally geo target you down to your zip code. So

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Speaker 1: if there is something that you want, I probably know

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Speaker 1: before you even want it because I see other people

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Speaker 1: in your neighborhood buying it. That is a problem. It

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Speaker 1: has gotten too good. The a'lgo really does know you.

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Speaker 1: And then on top of that, with tracking, say you

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Speaker 1: go and you find a beautiful pair of leather boots.

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Speaker 1: You see them and you're like, oh, yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I want to buy this. These are kind

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Speaker 1: of expensive. I'll come back to it later. Those boots

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Speaker 1: then follow you around on the Internet, on your social

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Speaker 1: on your you're reading an article on the New York

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Speaker 1: Times or the Wall Street Journal, whatever, because a one

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Speaker 1: by one tracking pixel was appended to you like a barnacle,

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Speaker 1: and that barnacle followed you around all over the Internet,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, good analogy, and you're just like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, it's divine intervention. I need these boots. No, babe,

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Speaker 1: I wanted you to have the boots. That's why you

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Speaker 1: have a barnacle on you. And so I think we

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Speaker 1: need to de influence our brains and understand where the

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Speaker 1: incentives lie of where brands want to sell you stuff

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Speaker 1: even if you don't necessarily need it, they need you

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Speaker 1: to buy it for their businesses to keep running. So, yes,

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Speaker 1: social media is amazing because it gives us access, it

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Speaker 1: gives us knowledge, and it allows us to be a

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Speaker 1: more global society. But social media has also led to

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Speaker 1: an incredibly terrifying comparison game of who has what and

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Speaker 1: making you feel like you need to stay on this

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Speaker 1: consumption hamster wheel that frankly, at the end of the

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Speaker 1: day may not make you happy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. And it's not just about acquiring the things you

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Speaker 2: know that you'll see on social media other people having.

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Speaker 2: It's about then doing an unboxing and sharing it with

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Speaker 2: your followers. Yeah. And I like in your book how

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Speaker 2: you say ask yourself this question, would I buy that?

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Speaker 2: If I wasn't, what is it? If I don't immediately,

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Speaker 2: if I wasn't going to show somebody it's aday?

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Speaker 1: Do I want this or do I want people to

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Speaker 1: know I have it? I feel like all of the

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Speaker 1: purchases I made in my early twenties were because I

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Speaker 1: wanted people to know I could have it, or I

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Speaker 1: wanted people to know that I could frankly afford it.

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Speaker 2: And just like post because you're yeah, so was this

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Speaker 2: like post rich bff taking off No, No, in your career.

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Speaker 1: No, this was like early straight out of college, I

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Speaker 1: was working at JP Morgan, and I felt like I

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Speaker 1: had something to prove right because certainly some of my

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Speaker 1: peers had come from the upper crusty New England generational

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Speaker 1: wealth families and they were sitting shoulder to shoulder with

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Speaker 1: me in my analyst class, and certainly there were students

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Speaker 1: who had come from, you know, even less wealthy backgrounds,

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Speaker 1: but it felt like it was a game of keeping

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Speaker 1: up with the Joneses. And so I wanted people to

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Speaker 1: know I could afford the designer bag. I wanted people

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Speaker 1: to know that I could afford the beanie with the

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Speaker 1: fun little pom pom that, by the way, is itchy,

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Speaker 1: but like you know, it's three hundred fifty, because I

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Speaker 1: needed people to know I could have it. And I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tell you what happened. That beanie has sat

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Speaker 1: in the back of my closet, has gotten nowhere because

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Speaker 1: I got a big old melon and my forehead is

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Speaker 1: itchy when I wear it.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to picture a beanie with a pomp palm

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Speaker 2: that's three hundred dollars.

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Speaker 1: Oh girl, they sell them. It's bad. Don't get one, Okay,

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Speaker 1: you don't need it, all right, And it's it's just frustrating,

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Speaker 1: I think, because we value the wrong things. And because

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Speaker 1: of that, so many people will DM me and say,

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Speaker 1: if I've done everything right, I went to the right school,

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Speaker 1: I got the right job, I made the right money,

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Speaker 1: but I'm in my thirties or forties or even fifties,

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Speaker 1: and I'm looking at a closet full of stuff and

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Speaker 1: a life that I don't even want. And that's a lot.

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Speaker 2: I ate to that at all. That's so weird.

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Speaker 1: That's so weird.

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Speaker 2: Everyone else's for problems. No, you know, it's funny. I

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Speaker 2: mean you in the book you you talk about your

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Speaker 2: beloved parents again, you're an only child, only two parents,

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Speaker 2: who Yeah, I did the best they could for you.

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Speaker 2: And you open the book by talking about you know,

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Speaker 2: I think you were in a play, your Orphan number something.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, I was not orphan number something. I was

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Speaker 1: Duffy Mandy speaking role. Sorry, it was yead to be

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Speaker 1: a speaking role because I was talented and you should

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Speaker 1: remember the fifth grade was very important to me. No,

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Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. Yeah, but you had.

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Speaker 2: A speaking role, which is a big deal. And like

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Speaker 2: your you know, your parents was two lines.

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Speaker 1: By the way, it was only two lines.

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Speaker 2: It was a speaking role, speaking, that's correct, and it

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Speaker 2: was the it was the you know it really uh

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Speaker 2: was the window into where you're gonna because we're going

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Speaker 2: to talk about your Amazon deal. I hope so. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: your parents missed that performance and you talk about knowing

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Speaker 2: it was because they were working, And I just wondered, like,

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Speaker 2: how how were you Did you talk to your parents

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Speaker 2: about putting that in the book, and like, how have

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Speaker 2: y'all reconciled with that? Do they are? They? My mom

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Speaker 2: gets hurt by anything I say.

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Speaker 1: By the way, in a negative way.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm like constantly tell I'm like, I shouldn't have

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Speaker 2: said that. Ont me edit that out because I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: hear from my mom It's not worth it. It's not

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Speaker 2: worth it, you know.

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Speaker 1: What I feel like? If I they had to consider

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Speaker 1: my parents' opinion on everything I said about my experience

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Speaker 1: growing up, I would not be able to tell you

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Speaker 1: about my experience growing up. I need therapy because my

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Speaker 1: parents didn't go point blank. But I think we can

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Speaker 1: acknowledge that I had incredible parents. They were loving, They

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Speaker 1: did the absolute best that they could. They provided me

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Speaker 1: safety and comfort, and they made an unlimited number of

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Speaker 1: sacrifices so that I could have what I currently have.

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Speaker 1: I acknowledge that. I think it's also fair for me

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Speaker 1: to acknowledge my lived experience of feeling incredibly isolated, very different,

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Speaker 1: very othered than my peers because I lived in a

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Speaker 1: neighborhood where there were many PTA moms who were able

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Speaker 1: to not work and were able to spend significantly more

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Speaker 1: time with their kids.

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Speaker 2: And that sucks.

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Speaker 1: That sucks for me. My mom's I'm probably gonna hear

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Speaker 1: from my mom probably makes some comment of you made

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Speaker 1: us look like we were absent parents. You weren't absent parents,

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Speaker 1: but like you did miss the play. You missed a

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Speaker 1: lot of things. And I don't regret it now, but

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Speaker 1: at the time, yeah, I was what in fifth grade,

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Speaker 1: it was like ten, I was eleven. Of course I

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Speaker 1: was sad.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I think a lot of kids sadly, A

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Speaker 2: lot of babies of boomers have that experience. And I

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Speaker 2: mean especially like you know, immigrant boomers. You know, my

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Speaker 2: mom missed my clarinet recital when I was like.

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Speaker 1: In devastate Giodvas.

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Speaker 2: She was a single mom of four, and there's no

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Speaker 2: judgment there, but damn it, it sticks with you. It

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Speaker 2: really does. Of course I have kids now and it

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00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,200
Speaker 2: really do get it now, I get it. But you know,

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Speaker 2: the thing is, like, here's the bullshit of being a parent.

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Speaker 2: In today's eight you mentioned like PTA moms, I'm kind

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Speaker 2: of sort of on the pta girl, I try h

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Speaker 2: like I want to mean class moms or a thing. Now,

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Speaker 2: this is shit that you don't No one tells you this.

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Speaker 2: But we are all working too, and you stay at

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Speaker 2: home moms, like maybe there's one or two and I

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Speaker 2: live in Westchester, west train what it used to be.

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Speaker 2: I think in terms of like, oh, you know.

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Speaker 1: You you most families need dual income.

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Speaker 2: Now I have to have Jesus Christ. The house that

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Speaker 2: I bought six years ago couldn't afford today. Yeah, right,

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Speaker 2: it's just insane. So yeah, a lot of us are

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Speaker 2: working and we are still because we know it's important

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Speaker 2: to show up optically too, Yeah, well optically, but then

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Speaker 2: also for the kid, Like, you know, my kid had

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Speaker 2: a thirty minute at nine thirty and nine thirty in

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Speaker 2: the morning, a thirty minute spring concert last last Friday. Actually,

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Speaker 2: I want to turn to make sure, hey, he's still there.

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Speaker 2: We love. I brought my kid to work today.

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Speaker 1: We saw a little foot. It's safe, little.

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Speaker 2: Minecraft you Yeah, and so you know I show up

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Speaker 2: and you got to show up forty five minutes early

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Speaker 2: because if the doors open at eight point fifty, yes

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Speaker 2: they do, and people will be lining up and you

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Speaker 2: will miss out on getting the front roal seat. It's real.

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Speaker 2: And so it's like and then there's the stress. And

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Speaker 2: for me, yes, I think a huge reason that I've

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Speaker 2: been all in with brown ambition and having my own business. Yes,

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Speaker 2: because I'm a baddie and like, I want to make

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Speaker 2: more money and I'll leave corporate and it's amazing. It's

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Speaker 2: also because without that flexibility, how the hell are we

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Speaker 2: supposed to be that present and then be able to

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Speaker 2: like afford simple luxuries such as house.

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Speaker 1: Food on table at the same time at the same time.

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Speaker 2: Ideally, you know. So it's just I just my heart

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Speaker 2: goes out to working parents today. Yeah, I know you

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Speaker 2: have a chapter about kids in your book and you

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Speaker 2: have little baby embryos.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you know that are they're on ice, They're on ice,

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Speaker 1: and you know, can I even just make a comment

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Speaker 1: about that. I felt like I needed to do that,

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Speaker 1: not because I was like, oh, wow, this feels like

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Speaker 1: a really nice step in my relationship. I did that

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Speaker 1: because I was terrified that by the time I was

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Speaker 1: ready to maybe consider starting a family, I wouldn't have

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Speaker 1: the facilities to be able to do that anymore. You're

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Speaker 1: so smart to have done it, do you feel like,

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Speaker 1: But like I also felt like a little bit of

402
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Speaker 1: pressure because it felt like, well, yeah, I'm I'm thirty

403
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Speaker 1: two now, today's my birthday. Actually yeah Spring Chicken, literally

404
00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,720
Speaker 1: the first Spring Chicken, happy birthday than you. But like,

405
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,919
Speaker 1: I could have a child right now and no one

406
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,879
Speaker 1: would bat an eyelash. This is not like an unplanned

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00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 1: which I'm married, everything like it would be normal. I don't, allegedly,

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Speaker 1: I don't feel like I can have a child right

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Speaker 1: now because I work for myself. There's no such thing

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Speaker 1: as Matt leave, there's no such thing as PTO. I

411
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,520
Speaker 1: am the office that I'm out of, and so it's

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Speaker 1: incredibly scary for me to feel like I would need

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Speaker 1: to take the you know, year off essentially to the

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Speaker 1: back half of the pregnancy, and then actually take care

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Speaker 1: of and that's if everything is perfect. And it is

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Speaker 1: so scary to me because I feel like I am

417
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Speaker 1: thinking so much of will having a child deeply negatively

418
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Speaker 1: impact my career? And I wish I didn't have to

419
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Speaker 1: think like that, but we as women do, and that

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Speaker 1: is in part why I got my eggs and embryos frozen,

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Speaker 1: because I want to have the optionality to start a

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Speaker 1: family when I'm forty and hope that, you know, medically

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Speaker 1: everything can still go well for me. But I wish

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Speaker 1: it wasn't like that. I wish a woman's prime earning

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Speaker 1: years a woman's prime child bearing years did not coincide.

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Speaker 1: Like literally, it's like a ven diagram, except it's just

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Speaker 1: one circle.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you should have got on the internet when

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Speaker 2: you were fourteen.

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00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, Like what were you doing?

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Speaker 2: I mean, what were we doing?

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Speaker 1: I know what I was doing at fourteen. I was

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Speaker 1: playing neopest, I was busy.

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Speaker 2: While was YouTube and around on Yeah, heyba fam, we

435
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,879
Speaker 2: got to take a quick break, pay some bills and

436
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,479
Speaker 2: we'll be right back. Listen. I wish I could sit

437
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,080
Speaker 2: across from you and you didn't ask for my advice.

438
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 2: I wish I could sit across from you and say

439
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,440
Speaker 2: that you know, it's fine, just have them when you

440
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,600
Speaker 2: want them, and like, yeah, but I would be a

441
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 2: complete hypocrite if I didn't say. The thought goes through

442
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 2: my mind. Had I pushed it out a couple of

443
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 2: more years and then started my business before having kids.

444
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,720
Speaker 2: I tried to do it at the same time I

445
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,520
Speaker 2: was still in corporate when I had my first and

446
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,399
Speaker 2: then I left a year. I think he was like

447
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,600
Speaker 2: a year and a half or two years old when

448
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 2: I went full time, and then I had another one

449
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,920
Speaker 2: because god damn it. Like I'm really good at it

450
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,880
Speaker 2: and I enjoy it. It's like annoying. I never thought

451
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,280
Speaker 2: i'd be that person, but yeah, I would forget you.

452
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,679
Speaker 1: You love your family deeply and.

453
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:17,399
Speaker 2: There they're pretty chill, like they're fun. But then the

454
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,440
Speaker 2: reality is, like I make decisions every day at the

455
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,840
Speaker 2: detriment of my business and my growth because I am

456
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,399
Speaker 2: valuing them. And at the end of the day, like,

457
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,359
Speaker 2: would I be richer? I know you say in your

458
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:32,160
Speaker 2: book point blank, you know kids will make you poor. Yeah,

459
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 2: I'm not poor, but I know I am not. I'm

460
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 2: not where I could be financially, you know, had I

461
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,200
Speaker 2: not had them. And I think that's where values become

462
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:45,640
Speaker 2: deeply important, and even the idea of being well endowed,

463
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 2: and like what does that mean? And I think for me,

464
00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 2: it's just shifting the way that I value myself. You know,

465
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,000
Speaker 2: I wanted to. I was that badass. I was gonna

466
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 2: te next my salary. Over ten years, I probably followed

467
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 2: every step in rich af and I was really good

468
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,879
Speaker 2: at it, and I really valued myself based on what

469
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,919
Speaker 2: I was earning and the fact that I could get

470
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,560
Speaker 2: a house at twenty nine, I could pay for my

471
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 2: wedding in cash and all those things. And I'm not

472
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,600
Speaker 2: her right now, Like I wouldn't spend my money in

473
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 2: the same way, and I'm not earning the way that

474
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 2: I was earning before, and like I have had to

475
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 2: just like really shift the way that I value myself

476
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 2: as a person. And I'm like, I am rich because

477
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,399
Speaker 2: I was able to line up at eight thirty twenty

478
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 2: minutes before doors open for the Spring concert to hear

479
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 2: what I'm saying about the Debt Center.

480
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,679
Speaker 1: First row. My son can see me, and girl.

481
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 2: I made sure he saw me. I'm like, Mama was here.

482
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, put it in the history book literally for

483
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 1: her memory. If he doesn't see you, it didn't count. Okay, Right,

484
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: we are getting credit for all of the things we're doing. Yes,

485
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,200
Speaker 1: burn it into your mind. You will never write a

486
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,439
Speaker 1: book about me not showing up to your play dred percent.

487
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:54,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, just like the idea of kids like yesh, financially

488
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:56,800
Speaker 2: terrible decision you're looking at And I don't know what

489
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,359
Speaker 2: it was I was laughing out loud. In the book,

490
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 2: I wrote it down. I wrote loll daycare price because

491
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:02,840
Speaker 2: it was like, I know, you use some kind of average.

492
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: It was like six K to fifteen K. Yeah, thirty

493
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:06,400
Speaker 2: K is what I pay a year.

494
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 1: If you live in a major metro, it's probably double exactly.

495
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. So it's another mortgage payment, and you know, it's

496
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 2: just it's a travesty, you know. And so I feel

497
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,679
Speaker 2: like that if that's if that's the life you want,

498
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 2: if you want kids, it's that reality check of like

499
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,359
Speaker 2: earn as much as you possibly can and set some

500
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:27,360
Speaker 2: aside for that first year of you know, daycare expenses.

501
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 2: I just like that you covered that in the book,

502
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 2: and people do.

503
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 1: Not talk about it because if you because if you

504
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 1: are someone who is childless, it doesn't even cross your

505
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,359
Speaker 1: mind how expensive daycare is.

506
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that kind of thing. Oh, you just take

507
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 2: on it's like maybe a couple hundred dollars no, yeah,

508
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,000
Speaker 2: and it gets more expensive all the time. So speaking

509
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,399
Speaker 2: of parents, I mean, I know you get into a

510
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 2: couple of different accounts that you can set up for

511
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 2: your kids. Can we kind of get into the nitty

512
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 2: gritty a little bit alphabet superlans. Yeah, okay, So let's

513
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 2: talk about the UTMA versus the UGMA, Like, what are these?

514
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 2: I don't have either of those for my kid. I

515
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 2: have a custodial brokerage account. Yeah, because I went for

516
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 2: the dun and dirty. Yeah yeah, but yeah, educate me.

517
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:09,480
Speaker 1: So UTMA UGMA stands for Uniform Transfer or Gift to

518
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 1: Miners Act, and essentially it's simply a way that allows

519
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:18,199
Speaker 1: you to transfer things. Typically, I would say it differs

520
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 1: by state what's really accessible and available to you, but

521
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,960
Speaker 1: transfer is typically my preference because you can put other

522
00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:26,840
Speaker 1: stuff in them. So a gift account is a little

523
00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 1: bit more traditional. You put stocks, spawns, things like that,

524
00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 1: but transfer you can put like a car in there.

525
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 1: And it's just a great way to help effectively pass

526
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 1: down assets, making sure that they're organized, making sure that

527
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: they're protected. It just is a great way, especially if

528
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 1: you don't already have a trust setup and you're going

529
00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 1: to take a little bit of time to be doing that.

530
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,639
Speaker 1: Maybe you want to make the UTMA account the beneficiary

531
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,359
Speaker 1: of your life insurance policy, as you can't pass down

532
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 1: life insurance policies to minors. So it's just a really

533
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 1: great tool to use to make sure that what you

534
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 1: want to happen is actually happening. And there aren't any

535
00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 1: sort of legal hiccups or potholes that you fall into

536
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,199
Speaker 1: when transferring or gifting things to your kid.

537
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,520
Speaker 2: So when do they get the money or when can

538
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:15,159
Speaker 2: they access it?

539
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,920
Speaker 1: That is a great question. So with the different accounts,

540
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 1: they're stipulated different ages, so you can either depending on

541
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 1: states too, it changes, So eighteen twenty one is typically

542
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 1: roughly where you'll be looking at. But I also think

543
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 1: that like at that point, it's really smart to just

544
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: have a trust and have a will that is stated

545
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:38,200
Speaker 1: of this is how much money my kid will get

546
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,840
Speaker 1: at this age, at this time for this purpose. By

547
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 1: the way, you don't get any of it if you

548
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: don't have a prenup with your soon to be spouse, because.

549
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 2: Oh for the kid, you don't get any of it.

550
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 1: Lest first off, now you should be the villain. You

551
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 1: should make yourself the villain and say you will get

552
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 1: zero dollars of anything if you do not get a

553
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: prenup with your future spouse. That way, it takes the

554
00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 1: whole awkward conversation out for your son.

555
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 2: My mommy made me do it.

556
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 1: My mommy made me do it exactly. But the reason

557
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 1: why I think estate planning, wills, trusts, power of atturntion

558
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: all is so important is because you have worked so

559
00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 1: hard for your money. If you are going to give

560
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 1: it as a gift, wouldn't you want to make sure

561
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,680
Speaker 1: that it's used for the intended purposes. You want your

562
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,399
Speaker 1: kid to get smarter, so maybe they're going to school.

563
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 1: You want your kid to be more stable. Maybe it's

564
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: helping them buy a home. Maybe you want to help

565
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 1: accelerate the ability of them to travel. So maybe it's

566
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 1: a car. Maybe it's a gift for the even the

567
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 1: furniture that they need to buy in their first apartment.

568
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,400
Speaker 1: Maybe it's all of these things. But what I don't

569
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 1: want to have happen is people who just say, Okay,

570
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 1: well oops, mom and dad kicked the bucket. You get

571
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 1: a million dollars at eighteen. Let me tell you what

572
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 1: I was doing at eighteen. I was sneaking out of

573
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 1: my house. I was making bad decisions. I was definitely

574
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 1: not fully developed in the prefrontal cortex. Every single decision

575
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 1: I made was bad. I would have blown through that

576
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: money in about six months. I would have been popping

577
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 1: bottles and I would have regretted it for the rest

578
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 1: of my life. You don't want your kids to feel

579
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 1: that way.

580
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 2: So why fucking up by just having a brokerage right now?

581
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,000
Speaker 2: I mean for me, I was like, just get it done.

582
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,639
Speaker 2: I just opened it alongside a custodial brokerage. Yeah, it's

583
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 2: a custodial brokerage. So I think, what is it that

584
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 2: I'm missing out on?

585
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: So I think you should consider is it just a

586
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,640
Speaker 1: traditional brokerage? Should get a custodial Rothie Ray.

587
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 2: Well, he doesn't earn income. Don't you need to be

588
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 2: earning incomes? But like I could make him my intern.

589
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 1: I know that could be you own a business. He

590
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,280
Speaker 1: definitely could be in your marketing material.

591
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 2: He could be in some ig stories. Yeah you get employee,

592
00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:49,640
Speaker 2: yeah yeah, yeah yah yeah.

593
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,119
Speaker 1: But if I didn't have that as an option, you know,

594
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: I think these days it's really really challenging for kids

595
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 1: to do anything without higher education that's not necessarily just

596
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 1: four year traditional colleges for every nine five to nine,

597
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 1: So you want to make sure to be saving for

598
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 1: their educational expenses. I think that's really powerful. Also, credit

599
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 1: score making your kid an authorized user on your credit card.

600
00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 1: I think is so exceptionally smart because when you do that,

601
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 1: they can leach off of your good credit and I

602
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,920
Speaker 1: know you. So you're paying your credit card in full

603
00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,720
Speaker 1: on time every month. By the time he is ready

604
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 1: to go apply for his first apartment or get that

605
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: loan for his first card, get a loan for his

606
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:32,959
Speaker 1: first home purchase, he's going to have like an eight

607
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 1: hundred plus credit score. I did not start doing this

608
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:39,239
Speaker 1: until college, so I had to work my way up

609
00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 1: to a credit score, and then, like an idiot, when

610
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 1: I got my fancy, big girl job, I canceled my

611
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: oldest credit card, shortened my credit history down to like

612
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: two months, had to start all over. I made a

613
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 1: bunch of mistakes with my credit I eventually got there

614
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: right now, I have a high seven hundreds credit score,

615
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 1: sometimes into the low eight hundreds, just depending on the

616
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,959
Speaker 1: month and whatever. But it took a while, And if

617
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 1: you can save them that time, why not.

618
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 2: It'll be kind to yourself. We were all dummies. I mean,

619
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 2: I think even if you have these books like, you're

620
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 2: still gonna make some dumb decisions. And what I like

621
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 2: about you know, or just decisions. Did you do the

622
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 2: best with the information you have. Also, emotions come into play. Yeah,

623
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,479
Speaker 2: Like I knew everything about buying a home, but then

624
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 2: when we were shopping for a home, my gut, my

625
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 2: my spite, like my heart told me this was the

626
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 2: house that we need. Didn't look at it. We looked

627
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 2: at one house. I was like, this is the house.

628
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,800
Speaker 2: It felt good, felt warm and cozy. Didn't comparison. Yea,

629
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 2: you know, shop trusted my gut a little bit. So yeah,

630
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:36,840
Speaker 2: there's that little there's that there's that grace you have

631
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 2: to give yourself for like letting these other factors sort

632
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 2: of lead you in different directions. And I do think

633
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 2: in the book you give people some latitude. Yeah, you know,

634
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:45,640
Speaker 2: space for that.

635
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,280
Speaker 1: Listen. I think at the end of the day, like

636
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 1: when I say we should all be financially literate, it

637
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,880
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you should never ever make a financial mistake. Yeah,

638
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 1: it means that when you do, or when you learn

639
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: something new, you are resourceful enough to be able to

640
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,040
Speaker 1: figure away out of it and to learn from your

641
00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 1: mistakes and be able to move forward and be better

642
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: tomorrow than you are today. I think it's people beat

643
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: themselves up so much on this one topic. And it's

644
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 1: so crazy because it feels like every mistake you make

645
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 1: is the end of the world.

646
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's not.

647
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:17,440
Speaker 1: Most of them you can fix.

648
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: You're also comparing yourself to your rich bff, you know which.

649
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 1: By the way, you didn't see your messy bff ten

650
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 1: years ago.

651
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

652
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,160
Speaker 1: And so I think people forget that I was living

653
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: paycheck to paycheck, not because I was making a like,

654
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: you know, a little bit of money. I was making

655
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,040
Speaker 1: a lot of money, but I had to pay New

656
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 1: York City rent. I was spending all my money on

657
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 1: going out partying. Was not saving money because I was

658
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: irresponsible or just didn't even know any better. And so

659
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 1: like to sit here and pretend like I have always

660
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 1: been good with money would be a disservice.

661
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, and just like not the reality. Yeah, for the

662
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 2: time that we're in now, like you think you have

663
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 2: in the book, Like in this economy, I mean, dumpster

664
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,280
Speaker 2: fires are sort of every where. I just got a

665
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 2: very long voice note from a friend of mine who

666
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 2: works at like a big like a fang company and

667
00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 2: was let go on Monday, and woman of Color, and

668
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 2: it's just it's happening, you know, And it feels like

669
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 2: you look at the stock market, and then it's completely

670
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 2: antithetical to like what our lived experiences are. So for

671
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,160
Speaker 2: someone who's been down on their luck, like financially for

672
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 2: a long time, like these layoffs, this whole like you know,

673
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 2: downturn in terms of like tech layoffs that's been going

674
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,080
Speaker 2: on for a couple of years now, and it's still happening,

675
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 2: these big waves. Like what do you think they can

676
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 2: get from the book or what advice would you have

677
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 2: for them, because maybe they've had to make some bad

678
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 2: choices because they were the only choices, you know.

679
00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 1: Listen, I think to sit here and pretend like you

680
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 1: can budget your way out of a really hard position

681
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 1: is irresponsible. But I think there still requires a bit

682
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 1: of optimism. I genuinely believe that we can all do it.

683
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: Whatever you're trying to achieve, we can do it. But

684
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: it might take a little bit of creativity. So maybe

685
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: that means for the time being, if you're not able

686
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: to find that new job or you've been laid off,

687
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: it's piecing together freelance work. Maybe it's really like cutting

688
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:20,720
Speaker 1: down on those expenses, and when you do get that

689
00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 1: full time job, maybe it's really negotiating aggressively every year

690
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:26,600
Speaker 1: for a raise, making sure you are in the top

691
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: ten percent of performers. It is frustrating to me that

692
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: we also don't rely more on our social safety nets.

693
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:41,760
Speaker 1: In America. It's very like you live in your house.

694
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 1: We don't know, we don't. But in America it's basically

695
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,760
Speaker 1: like we've been tricked into this. Right like you have

696
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,760
Speaker 1: your one car, you live in your one house, you

697
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:53,600
Speaker 1: have your one nanny, and you have to go do

698
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 1: the grocery shop for your one family every single week.

699
00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: That is not how it is, especially in Eastern cultures,

700
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 1: there is a very big community oriented mindset of once

701
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: a week, I will be picking up five children from school.

702
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: They will be tearing apart my house, and it is

703
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 1: going to be one afternoon that is deeply, deeply unproductive

704
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:21,320
Speaker 1: for me. Fine, But then for the other four afternoons,

705
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 1: someone else will be taking care of my terrible kid,

706
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,800
Speaker 1: and I get to have four afternoons where I can

707
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 1: be fully locked in and present with my career. Why

708
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: is it that it's better to take your one kid home,

709
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 1: have them distract you and you're still kind of not

710
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 1: getting all your stuff done, versus giving up one afternoon

711
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: and then being able to have the other four completely sound, silent,

712
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,120
Speaker 1: ready to go. I don't think that we are leaning

713
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 1: on each other as much as we need to be

714
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: because the favor's economy has dissipated. Our parents were able

715
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:53,920
Speaker 1: to ask their neighbors to drive them to the airport.

716
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,040
Speaker 1: You were able to ask your neighbor, can you come

717
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: walk my dog? And you would do each other little

718
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 1: favors for free. Now, well you're spending forty bucks for

719
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,960
Speaker 1: an autonomous way moo to drive you to the airport.

720
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,839
Speaker 1: You're spending forty bucks for someone to come walk over.

721
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:11,279
Speaker 1: Like all of the things that we used to do

722
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: for each other. We have now outsourced our friendships to apps,

723
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 1: and we're not only are we spending more money, we

724
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 1: are falling behind.

725
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think whether you talk about renting or home ownership,

726
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 2: I love that you mentioned that, and I think that

727
00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 2: was one of the best investments I made when I,

728
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 2: you know, at twenty eight, moved into the suburbs and hated,

729
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:33,800
Speaker 2: I hate. I did not want move to suburbs. That

730
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,320
Speaker 2: was a compromise with my husband, and then the pandemic

731
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 2: happened and he got to be all smug and it's fine.

732
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 2: But one of one of the earliest investments was I

733
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 2: got to know my neighbors really well. And it's funny.

734
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 2: I mean, yes, you still have your friendships from your

735
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:50,359
Speaker 2: twenties and thirties, but you're like literally the people next

736
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 2: door to you, they come in clutch, like I'm single,

737
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 2: momming right now, I'm six weeks s and girl, how

738
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 2: do I look and you see some great hares. Husband's

739
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 2: going to be away for six mon more weeks. And

740
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 2: the number of times I have had to lean on

741
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,840
Speaker 2: my neighbor, yeah, I'll shout her out, Lynn, you know,

742
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:07,800
Speaker 2: shout out Lynn, watch the two year old so I

743
00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 2: can take the six year old to swim classes. And

744
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 2: you know, I one hundred percent. It also feels good.

745
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 1: To have a neighborhood.

746
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:19,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, it feels good to know that you have people.

747
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,839
Speaker 2: To ask people for things. It makes them feel good

748
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 2: to be able to give it. Like there's that psychological benefit.

749
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 2: You know.

750
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,040
Speaker 1: Have you heard the story of how like, uh, there

751
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 1: was this and this is probably like some fake, made

752
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: up Internet story, but like basically this mom tells her

753
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,760
Speaker 1: daughter go run across the street and ask the neighbors

754
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 1: for like a couple cups of flower, and the daughter's like,

755
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:43,840
Speaker 1: we have a bag of flower at our house, Like,

756
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,319
Speaker 1: why don't we just use that? And she she tells

757
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 1: her daughter like, oh, the neighbors kind of fell on

758
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: hard times and we've been helping them out a little

759
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: bit with certain stuff. But we don't want them to

760
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 1: feel indebted to us, So run across the street ask

761
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: for some flower. It costs them nearly nothing, but it

762
00:35:59,239 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: makes us feel like we actually have like a symbiotic

763
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 1: relationship versus a parasitic one. And it allows other people

764
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 1: to feel like they are doing good for you, because

765
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I'd like to believe

766
00:36:12,719 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 1: most people are good people and they want to do

767
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 1: nice things for you too, just like meet people at

768
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 1: their level.

769
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 2: Yeah. Literally, I just asked Linn's husband, can you come

770
00:36:23,239 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 2: look at my window? It popped out. I don't know

771
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,720
Speaker 2: how to put it back in. I'm just a girl.

772
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,800
Speaker 2: I loved it. He was like, yes, dad, toolkit, you know,

773
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 2: ready to go.

774
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,480
Speaker 1: He comes over with like the fresh DeWalt kit the

775
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 1: tape still on it.

776
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, never had a longer conversation with his man than

777
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,719
Speaker 2: when my window popped out and he was coming to

778
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,279
Speaker 2: fix it. Yeah, I mean it's so true. How are

779
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 2: you doing that? I mean you live in Manhattan, right, Yeah,

780
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 2: you're still a Manhattan early So like.

781
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:49,080
Speaker 1: How are you I split time Manhattan and Miami but yeah,

782
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 1: oh Miami.

783
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 2: Okay, So how are you building? Like how do you

784
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,560
Speaker 2: manage to build the community in i RL while you're

785
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 2: also driving this huge internet juggernaut of your rich bff.

786
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,920
Speaker 2: I mean, I know the business structure has changed. You're

787
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 2: a mogul.

788
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:06,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's very kind of you. If I'm honest, not

789
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,759
Speaker 1: as well as I could be. I found that I

790
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:14,840
Speaker 1: can sometimes feel very lonely because you know, I have

791
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 1: a very different schedule than my friends. I'm not available

792
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 1: on certain days, like my husband and I both travel

793
00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 1: a ton for work. But I've been lucky. I've been

794
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 1: able to make friends in my building in Miami, in particular,

795
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:32,360
Speaker 1: I live in a building that is largely senior citizens. Okay,

796
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 1: cut and me. But like, you know, I mentioned this

797
00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:38,920
Speaker 1: too in the book, like they are just so active

798
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,920
Speaker 1: and that they're always working out or they're always like

799
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 1: come to Bridge Club, like you know, we're all doing

800
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 1: this together, get breakfast with us. And it has been

801
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,160
Speaker 1: so refreshing to hang out with people who have no

802
00:37:51,239 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 1: idea who I am. They just like me because I'm

803
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,759
Speaker 1: I remind them of their kids and grandkids and it's

804
00:37:57,840 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 1: so sweet and I love that.

805
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 2: That's why I'm my neighbor. My best neighbor friends are

806
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 2: all like twenty years old. Yes, yes, it's true.

807
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:06,920
Speaker 1: Isn't that so funny? Though? But I find that it's

808
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,720
Speaker 1: actually easier there than my building in New York because

809
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 1: I feel like the people in New York in my building,

810
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,120
Speaker 1: like they're all just living very independent lives and they're

811
00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 1: also busy and I barely get to see them.

812
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 2: But you know, you're also you're a rich baff What

813
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:23,359
Speaker 2: do you need?

814
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 1: You have everything, but that doesn't matter. I think I

815
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:26,760
Speaker 1: could use a little friendship.

816
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,759
Speaker 2: No, I know that I'm saying that in the sense

817
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,319
Speaker 2: of like people maybe looking at you, like, what can

818
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 2: you give to me, whether it's advice or resources or

819
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 2: a leg up or a connect I will say that's

820
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 2: a possibly need from us, you know, yeacuse you're at

821
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 2: this mountaintop. At least we see that from the internet.

822
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:44,080
Speaker 1: I also think that it's harder for me to make

823
00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 1: friends now because there have been situations where I can

824
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: tell someone's just trying to get out something from me,

825
00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 1: and so it doesn't feel as genuine. I got the

826
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:57,360
Speaker 1: same ten girlfriends from college from my high school, Like

827
00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 1: it's so funny. They were my bridesmaids at my wedding.

828
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,880
Speaker 1: These people know where the bodies are buried. They are

829
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 1: the ones who saw me, you know, in every single

830
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 1: possible like down bad situation when I was staying up

831
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:10,800
Speaker 1: until six a m. Studying for that test that I

832
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,360
Speaker 1: one thousand percent did not go to class too for

833
00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 1: the entire quarter. They were the people who, you know,

834
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,880
Speaker 1: watched me struggle and they liked me then when I

835
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: had nothing, and so I know they liked me for me,

836
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 1: And I think that's why some of my longest tenured

837
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 1: friendships are the ones that I value most. And I

838
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 1: still have been able to make new friends, but it's different.

839
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, quality over quantity. Yeah yeah, I had the worst

840
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 2: moment this week with the girlfriend of mine. She moved

841
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:41,279
Speaker 2: cross country. That's both fas kidding, Yeah it was. You know,

842
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,359
Speaker 2: I think people are like your own history book, those

843
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,480
Speaker 2: friendships that you have. And she, yes, she's really like

844
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 2: a keeper of my twenties new York life that I

845
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 2: look back on and it's kind of I'm in my

846
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 2: tail end of my thirties now, and I'll look back

847
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, this are the amazing times, you know,

848
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 2: the best belly laughs, the best stories, and like when

849
00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 2: that person moves across the country and also has their

850
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 2: own family and she's, you know, has an incredible career

851
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 2: in healthcare and all this. And we're on the phone

852
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 2: the other night. We talk like every few months, we try.

853
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,640
Speaker 2: I was having a really hard time on single momming,

854
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 2: really struggling. She called me during bedtime and I'm like, God,

855
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 2: I just like I don't recognize myself sometimes anymore. I

856
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 2: don't know who the hell I am. And she's like, oh, well,

857
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:25,840
Speaker 2: I saw you interviewed this famous person you know on

858
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,479
Speaker 2: your podcast. I saw that you looked you looked really great,

859
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,720
Speaker 2: and like my heart kind of cracked in that moment.

860
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:33,439
Speaker 2: I'm gonna I haven't really talked about it out loud.

861
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 2: We're in therapy, so yeah, thanks, we'll do it here.

862
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:39,800
Speaker 2: But I have not stopped thinking about that. It was

863
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:43,440
Speaker 2: really like deeply like unsettling and made me feel very

864
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,399
Speaker 2: like to I tell her that before this comes out.

865
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 2: But it sucks because I do think like you can

866
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 2: fall into that trap of following your friendships, especially if

867
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:53,800
Speaker 2: they are on social media, Like I have to be

868
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:57,439
Speaker 2: for my work and think that you know how they're doing.

869
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:00,840
Speaker 2: And I have found people check in less because.

870
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:04,320
Speaker 1: I am so omnipresent on the internet right and they think.

871
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 2: They know what's going on. I deeply don't want I

872
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 2: feel closer to my old neighbor Lynn, who really knows

873
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,360
Speaker 2: what I look like on a Saturday morning when I'm like,

874
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 2: have a blowout diaper and I need her to come

875
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,279
Speaker 2: over and you know, entertain a kid so I can

876
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:20,880
Speaker 2: clean up stuff like that is Yeah, it's just like

877
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 2: a reality. I think of being older and yeah, having

878
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 2: these friendships and kind of having to make peace or

879
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:32,279
Speaker 2: reconcile with how things have changed. Hey, ba fam, we

880
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,719
Speaker 2: got to take a quick break, pay some bills, and

881
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:35,640
Speaker 2: we'll be right back.

882
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,280
Speaker 1: Can I give you one piece of unsolicited advice. Please

883
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 1: call your friend and be so real with her. I

884
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,319
Speaker 1: will get texts from my girlfriends that are like, congratulations

885
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,120
Speaker 1: on this thing. This looks amazing. And I used to

886
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:50,800
Speaker 1: feel like I had to keep it all kind of

887
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 1: welled up. I cracked like a couple months ago, and

888
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 1: I was like, hey, guys, I just want to let

889
00:41:55,840 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: you know I'm doing really bad, Like I'm exhausted. I've

890
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 1: been on tour. Everything is tough, Like just because it's

891
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 1: glittery doesn't mean it's gold. And they were like, we

892
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:11,399
Speaker 1: need to actually get together and we forget how much

893
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 1: we love these people. And sometimes it's so crazy. I

894
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 1: don't want to go to social events or activities with

895
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 1: people I like because I'm just so tired. I'm like,

896
00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:21,359
Speaker 1: you know, I don't really want to do this. I'd

897
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:25,200
Speaker 1: rather stay my home and my sweatpants. You never feel

898
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,360
Speaker 1: more refreshed than after you do it, and it's I

899
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,240
Speaker 1: think we have to be more honest with our friends

900
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,320
Speaker 1: because turns out none of my girlfriends were doing that

901
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:34,719
Speaker 1: well either, and.

902
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,359
Speaker 2: We're all just hanging on my thread.

903
00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 1: Like and I truly like, it's so funny, like I

904
00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: am like, I am very proud of what I've built,

905
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,320
Speaker 1: hanging on by the red. I'm very proud of what

906
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:47,080
Speaker 1: I've built, and I'm very proud of the work that

907
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 1: I do, but like to boil it down, like I

908
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 1: create content. I've built a media business. One of my

909
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 1: girlfriends is a surgeon and like she had a patient

910
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: die on the table and she was like, yeah, I'm

911
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 1: having a really hard time with it. Like it was

912
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,360
Speaker 1: nothing that we did wrong, like it just we couldn't

913
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 1: make it happen and that's hard. And she had like

914
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: no one to talk to about that, and so I

915
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 1: think we all just need to I mean, I I

916
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 1: don't know if I should be like talking about this.

917
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 1: Maybe my PR team will be mad, but like I'm

918
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 1: I'm on the hunt for a good therapist.

919
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,439
Speaker 2: I'm took me mad about that girl. Yeah, always Yeah,

920
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,480
Speaker 2: I lost my therapist to five years. She like, you

921
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,680
Speaker 2: know away, she's working at a hospital now, and I

922
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 2: was like, I'll just find another one. I'm on like

923
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:40,440
Speaker 2: number five. Baby.

924
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:43,960
Speaker 1: It is hard, hard, and it's so hard, and the

925
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,760
Speaker 1: same dating process is so much worse than even regular

926
00:43:46,840 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 1: dating because you're just they're not saying anything and you're

927
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 1: just like spilling your guts and you're like, do you

928
00:43:51,239 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 1: think I'm crazy?

929
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, just the intake form but just to get

930
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:58,200
Speaker 2: a consult let me just dump all my trauma on

931
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,359
Speaker 2: this paper. And I'm like, please don't record this because

932
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:01,800
Speaker 2: I don't want you to like file this away and

933
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 2: have my info if I don't think this is a

934
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 2: good match. Yeah, girl, I feel you on that. Yeah,

935
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 2: it's but it's one of those like things you have

936
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:10,440
Speaker 2: to come back and chip at. I like have to

937
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,879
Speaker 2: put it on my calendar, like a thirty minute called

938
00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 2: follow up with that doctor for yourself. It's only going

939
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 2: to get harder, you know when those when those frozen

940
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 2: little ice cubes become humans and humans yeah you know,

941
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 2: but yeah, thanks for being real on that. I just

942
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 2: think that like, no matter who you are, how many

943
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:30,239
Speaker 2: resources you have, it's still like getting the time to

944
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 2: invest in you know, put that time into yourself. Yeah, well,

945
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 2: can we talk about some of the glittery shit. Yeah,

946
00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:39,439
Speaker 2: it's just like pretell like it's all fun. You're gonna

947
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:40,760
Speaker 2: have an Amazon show.

948
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: Bitch, Okay, okay, okay, let's not get let's not put

949
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:44,359
Speaker 1: the car before the horse.

950
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:44,760
Speaker 2: Okay.

951
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 1: We are currently in development. So that just means, uh.

952
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 1: They were very excited about my first book. They thought

953
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,840
Speaker 1: the stories were fun, funny, and I'm working with some

954
00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:01,960
Speaker 1: an incredible team at PKM and some credible showrunner, a showrunner,

955
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 1: a writer, Mallory Rosenthal, Sarah Kasherska and we are working

956
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 1: together on the development. This is not to say it

957
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,200
Speaker 1: hasn't even been you know, we're not even a pilot yet,

958
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,759
Speaker 1: we're not even a greenlit yet. We are so far

959
00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 1: from this being on your television. But it is a

960
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:19,600
Speaker 1: good start. It's a very good start, and I'm very

961
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:20,400
Speaker 1: very excited about it.

962
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 2: Was that ever in the cards, like you thought about no,

963
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:26,839
Speaker 2: I mean who wrote the money Book? And it's like, yeah,

964
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 2: this will be a.

965
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 1: Great TV show, TV show, Yeah, I mean it's so

966
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 1: funny myself. Someone said that, they were like, oh, are

967
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: you going to be the main character? I'm like, absolutely not.

968
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 1: We are going to pay a legitimate actor who's talented, Like,

969
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I didn't think you would. Certainly not. But

970
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 1: you'll get You'll get like a cameo of me as

971
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 1: like the barista in the background of whatever.

972
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 2: Scene, like that Marvel guy who wrote the comics.

973
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 1: Exactly exactly on a bus, Yeah exactly. But I think

974
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,680
Speaker 1: it's not something I expected, but something that I do

975
00:45:55,840 --> 00:46:00,840
Speaker 1: think is really interesting to me, because these days I

976
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:05,399
Speaker 1: find it's harder and harder to get people to want

977
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:09,320
Speaker 1: to learn. You have to kind of blend the spinach

978
00:46:09,360 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: into the Smoothie, and.

979
00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:14,920
Speaker 2: I think that's always been the case. Yes, Smoothie has

980
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:17,440
Speaker 2: had to change the INCREADI correct. The Smoothie used to

981
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 2: be like when I started writing Personal Finance, the Smoothie

982
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 2: was like put it in the slide show. Yeah, you

983
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 2: make it a funalistical Now this Smoothie is like, let's

984
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:26,960
Speaker 2: put it in a sixty second like you know, graduate

985
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,600
Speaker 2: attention TikTok or a bingeable you know, show that like

986
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:31,720
Speaker 2: Pierces the Zeitgeist.

987
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:34,959
Speaker 1: It has to be romantic, it has to be action fieled,

988
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:36,760
Speaker 1: it has to be comedy, it has to be everything

989
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,240
Speaker 1: except for educational. That's like the real undertone.

990
00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, picked, well that's a very exciting Would you like

991
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,600
Speaker 2: be writing No.

992
00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,719
Speaker 1: No, no, no, We're like I obviously you know you

993
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 1: and I are both book writers, but I think it's

994
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,759
Speaker 1: a very different process to write a show versus writing

995
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:56,880
Speaker 1: a book. And it's not something that I want to do.

996
00:46:57,120 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 1: It's something that I'm very much helping with. I'm sharing stories. Obviously,

997
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 1: there's a full three hundred and thirty page written work

998
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 1: that they're working off of that's been licensed for this show.

999
00:47:07,520 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 1: So yes, a little bit I am writing for it,

1000
00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:11,320
Speaker 1: but it's just through my first.

1001
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 2: Book, and the lead has to be an Asian female.

1002
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:17,839
Speaker 1: Right, like, No, I don't know, Y be a woman

1003
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:18,719
Speaker 1: of color for sure?

1004
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:20,880
Speaker 2: You think, okay, it's it's not super important to you

1005
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 2: to make sure. I think it's an East Asian lead.

1006
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 1: I don't think it's a mandatory for me. I think

1007
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:27,879
Speaker 1: it has to be a woman of color.

1008
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 2: Doesn't have to be a woman, it doesn't.

1009
00:47:29,800 --> 00:47:31,920
Speaker 1: It doesn't necessarily have to be an East Asian lead

1010
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 1: who looks like me. I think it just has to

1011
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 1: be a woman of color. They have to be able

1012
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:40,320
Speaker 1: to tell a story that I am proud of, and

1013
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 1: I would love for the cast to be as diverse

1014
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 1: as possible. I want them to look like my friends.

1015
00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 1: I want them to look like the people I went

1016
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 1: to college with, the people that I admire, And I

1017
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 1: want to give people who may not historically have had

1018
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:56,920
Speaker 1: the opportunity to be cast as leads that chance. But

1019
00:47:57,120 --> 00:47:59,760
Speaker 1: we'll see, that'll be a big casting department.

1020
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 2: We're just coming off the high of Bridgerton, you know,

1021
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 2: I mean, like having an Asian family and like Urine

1022
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:04,960
Speaker 2: Ha and all that.

1023
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 1: Though I will laugh, I'm like man Benedict. We gotta

1024
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 1: work on our our eyes because uh, why are you

1025
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: looking at everybody but the one family in the town.

1026
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:16,840
Speaker 1: Come on, Yeah, it just made me well, obviously, you

1027
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:18,840
Speaker 1: know in the book it wasn't nearly as diverse, and

1028
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 1: like it it wouldn't. It would have been more challenging

1029
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:22,880
Speaker 1: and it was like a longer period. I get it.

1030
00:48:23,360 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 1: But it did make me giggle.

1031
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,239
Speaker 2: But he real dumb, real dumb. She had a Really

1032
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 2: he's he's marrying up?

1033
00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, okay, Well what.

1034
00:48:30,880 --> 00:48:32,359
Speaker 2: About the podcast Networth and Chill.

1035
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:37,000
Speaker 1: You're in season now, we are in season three, but

1036
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 1: largely we're wrapping it up and you know, okay, maybe

1037
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,839
Speaker 1: there will be a season four. Maybe we'll see, we'll see.

1038
00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:45,000
Speaker 2: How are you liking the podcast? I mean, you have

1039
00:48:45,120 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 2: these different things happening now. I know you're you're entry

1040
00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 2: this new phase in your business. Is this the time

1041
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 2: also where you've tried different things and maybe it's like

1042
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:55,560
Speaker 2: I want to take this away and put something else in,

1043
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 2: Like how are you thinking about that? Like we're to

1044
00:48:58,560 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 2: place these different I think comptunities.

1045
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 1: You have, they're I think I want all of it

1046
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: to kind of like live in an ecosystem where they

1047
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:08,399
Speaker 1: can feed off of each other, just because I find

1048
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 1: that the people who listen to the podcast are not

1049
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,399
Speaker 1: the same people who read the book are not the same.

1050
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:14,640
Speaker 1: People who watch the social content are not this. Yeah,

1051
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:17,960
Speaker 1: they're all largely different because they those people like to

1052
00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 1: consume media differently. Like a person whose attention span is

1053
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:23,399
Speaker 1: only sixty seconds long is not sitting through a forty

1054
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:27,399
Speaker 1: five minute podcast. But a person who wants to sit

1055
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:30,319
Speaker 1: through a forty five minute podcast may also not want

1056
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,120
Speaker 1: to read a three hundred plus page.

1057
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:33,719
Speaker 2: Book and the audio book.

1058
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly exact close enough. But I think it's just

1059
00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:44,520
Speaker 1: entirely dependent on what I feel like is most necessary.

1060
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 1: I if we can address it. We're living in a

1061
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:51,359
Speaker 1: real scary time right now. It feels like everything's kind

1062
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:56,840
Speaker 1: of on fire. People are scared. They do not like

1063
00:49:57,520 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 1: feel like they are being represented well in large swaths

1064
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 1: of our government. They are concerned about geopolitical conflict. The

1065
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:10,960
Speaker 1: cost of living has risen astronomically. Gas is expensive, food

1066
00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:14,600
Speaker 1: is expensive, homes are expensive, college is expensive, wages as stagnated.

1067
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:17,280
Speaker 1: And I don't mean to end, you know, our conversation

1068
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:21,759
Speaker 1: on like a really down note, But people need hope,

1069
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 1: help and like support right now in a way that

1070
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 1: we frankly haven't gotten it. I don't have some amazing

1071
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 1: answer I wish I did of how we can magic

1072
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,760
Speaker 1: wand this and solve it. Like we're very literally watching

1073
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:42,000
Speaker 1: the cake shaped economy play out, Like the rich are

1074
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:44,839
Speaker 1: getting richer, the people who are struggling are struggling harder,

1075
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:48,239
Speaker 1: and it doesn't seem like we're changing anything. And if

1076
00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:51,080
Speaker 1: you do the same thing and expect different results, that's insanity.

1077
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 1: Why aren't we taking care of our most vulnerable? Why

1078
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 1: don't we give a shit if everybody can have a

1079
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,359
Speaker 1: good life. That's not to say there won't be rich

1080
00:51:00,400 --> 00:51:04,280
Speaker 1: people and people who have less money, but man, wouldn't

1081
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 1: it be nice if we could actually be the place

1082
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:10,359
Speaker 1: that people could have an American dream?

1083
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:15,359
Speaker 2: I mean, yes, it would be, But I also think,

1084
00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 2: I mean, you've said it in our conversation already, is

1085
00:51:18,239 --> 00:51:20,279
Speaker 2: like you tend to be on the hopeful side of things,

1086
00:51:20,320 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 2: and I think, I mean, there's days where I'm curled

1087
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 2: up in a ball, too, girl, And I'm like, like,

1088
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 2: why am I spending money on daycare and not even working?

1089
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 2: I'm just like curled up in a ball, like trying

1090
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 2: to cope and at the end of the day, that

1091
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:33,400
Speaker 2: day ends and the next day begins and you can

1092
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:36,719
Speaker 2: choose hope another day. And I think it's like, I

1093
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:38,840
Speaker 2: know you won't know this yet. One day. There's a

1094
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:42,479
Speaker 2: book called Grumpy Monkey and it's very popular kids. Grumpy Monkey.

1095
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:45,360
Speaker 2: Grumpy Monkey's very grumpy, okay, and all these other jungle

1096
00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 2: animals try to get him to stop being grumpy, and

1097
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 2: he's like, well, I want to be I need to

1098
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:52,200
Speaker 2: be grumpy right now. And at the end of the day,

1099
00:51:52,239 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 2: it's like having your own negativity and that pessimism feed

1100
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 2: in because there is a lot of shit happening right

1101
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 2: I have learned that it's like you have to allow

1102
00:52:02,160 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 2: yourself to have those dark thoughts, dark days, and then

1103
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,120
Speaker 2: just decide the next day, like we can choose hope.

1104
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:11,400
Speaker 2: Hope can be free, hope can mean. And it's like

1105
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 2: small things. I mean picking up a book and doing

1106
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,480
Speaker 2: one thing out of this book that could potentially set

1107
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 2: your heirs, your future, or just yourself. If you don't

1108
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:22,359
Speaker 2: want to have kids. You know, talk a lot about kids,

1109
00:52:22,360 --> 00:52:24,359
Speaker 2: but some people don't want that, which is fine. Enjoy

1110
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 2: your wealth, enjoy your disposable income, but if you can

1111
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 2: do one single thing out of this book to set

1112
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:33,839
Speaker 2: yourself for success, that can give you hope. I think

1113
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:36,160
Speaker 2: that sort of inoculates you a little bit, gives you

1114
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:40,479
Speaker 2: like a bit of a talisman against the bullshittary of life.

1115
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 2: If you can pick like one chapter from Well Endowed

1116
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:46,919
Speaker 2: that could give people that kernel of like I'm doing

1117
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 2: something I can control in the face of all this uncertainty.

1118
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 2: What would that be?

1119
00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 1: I would say to read the deinfluencing chapter, just because

1120
00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 1: I think that'll make the most immediate impact on how

1121
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,680
Speaker 1: you of your life. Is all the other stuff important, Yeah,

1122
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:06,840
Speaker 1: but it's got to start with you. And to quote

1123
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:10,200
Speaker 1: a philosopher of our generation, Glourrilla. At the end of

1124
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:11,200
Speaker 1: the day, the day got to end.

1125
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:14,160
Speaker 2: What I was trying to say earlier at the day

1126
00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 2: that that was Glorilla.

1127
00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:20,800
Speaker 1: By the way. I love her. I'm obsessed with her music.

1128
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:23,760
Speaker 1: I think she's so funny. I love her Memphis accent.

1129
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 1: I caught the interview that she did with Speedy for

1130
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:29,680
Speaker 1: Complex and they were just flirting.

1131
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 2: I was in love.

1132
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, this needs to happen.

1133
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,719
Speaker 2: So my LOVEITHM is not serving me up. Glow really

1134
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 2: content it should be.

1135
00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:37,760
Speaker 1: We have very different fyps.

1136
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 2: It's probably listening right now. Yes, I'm sure if you.

1137
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,760
Speaker 1: Say glorilla enough times, they'll start serving.

1138
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 2: You the lorilla Gorilla. I need it.

1139
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:44,799
Speaker 1: I need it, yeah, a couple of times.

1140
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:46,919
Speaker 2: So you've had a tough month with this like book

1141
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:48,960
Speaker 2: tour and all this stuff, And I think that makes

1142
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:51,839
Speaker 2: so much sense when you start succeeding, like, yeah, it's

1143
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 2: a toll, right, it takes a toll, So how are

1144
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 2: you pouring back into you? Are you resting? Like what's happening?

1145
00:53:56,320 --> 00:53:59,760
Speaker 1: Yes, so I will say these are all just an

1146
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 1: harassment of riches. I am so happy I got to

1147
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:05,319
Speaker 1: see everybody in person on my tour. The book made

1148
00:54:05,320 --> 00:54:07,080
Speaker 1: the New York Times bestseller list. I mean, like, I

1149
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 1: can't be mad about anything. I have literally nothing to

1150
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:13,600
Speaker 1: complain about. However, after this week is over, I want

1151
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:15,719
Speaker 1: to be horizontal on my couch. I want to watch

1152
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:19,759
Speaker 1: the pit I want to eat pizza, maybe do a

1153
00:54:19,840 --> 00:54:23,880
Speaker 1: midnight taco bell order. I do not want to be bothered.

1154
00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to feel responsible to respond

1155
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 1: to the forty five unread text messages on my phone

1156
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:31,719
Speaker 1: right now. And I just need to, like, be in

1157
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: my little isolation chamber. Give me a couple of days,

1158
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 1: I'll emerge like a butterfly. I feel it. I am

1159
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 1: someone who's very like an ambrovert, Like I get my

1160
00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:44,480
Speaker 1: energy from being around people, but every so often I

1161
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:46,840
Speaker 1: need to retreat to be able to recharge and be

1162
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:47,480
Speaker 1: my best self.

1163
00:54:47,960 --> 00:54:50,520
Speaker 2: Yeah. And is that in New York? Is that Miami?

1164
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:52,760
Speaker 1: Does your husband go sometimes?

1165
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:53,440
Speaker 2: Take them along?

1166
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 1: Sometimes he was actually just traveling in Europe for work.

1167
00:54:57,120 --> 00:54:59,480
Speaker 1: But the hope is we'll be in New York for

1168
00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 1: about a week and then we'll head back to Mamie.

1169
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, listen, girl, like I know, you're on a ride,

1170
00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 2: and anytime you want to you can always keep it

1171
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,319
Speaker 2: one hundred. Yeah. But at the same time, it does

1172
00:55:09,360 --> 00:55:11,680
Speaker 2: not take away from the enormous success that you have

1173
00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:13,799
Speaker 2: and I hope you will continue to have. I really

1174
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,800
Speaker 2: genuinely feel excited by you, in particular because it seems like,

1175
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:18,759
Speaker 2: you know, when I was coming up as a personal

1176
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 2: finance journalist, there was like David Bach and Susie Orman

1177
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,279
Speaker 2: and it we need a generational shift, and there's a

1178
00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:28,920
Speaker 2: there was a vacuum, you know, for a bright voice

1179
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:31,400
Speaker 2: that people would really relate to and hear from it.

1180
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 2: I'm just really glad that it's yours. You seem to

1181
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:36,319
Speaker 2: have your head on straight so well, and I hope

1182
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 2: you write many more books, maybe not like right now.

1183
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 1: Maybe like not right away, maybe like yeah chill, yeah,

1184
00:55:41,760 --> 00:55:42,399
Speaker 1: for a couple of years.

1185
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:45,400
Speaker 2: But yeah, the more Vivian two is out there, I

1186
00:55:45,480 --> 00:55:47,399
Speaker 2: just think the better off will all be. So thanks

1187
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:49,360
Speaker 2: for sharing this part of yourself with us and for

1188
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 2: coming to Brown Ambition again and much continued success and

1189
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 2: some rest I hope.

1190
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:55,920
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me.

1191
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:59,399
Speaker 2: Thank you all right, bi fam. Check out Vivian two's book.

1192
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,600
Speaker 2: It's called The Well Endowed. Where's the camera here? It is,

1193
00:56:02,719 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 2: It's got a fancy My son love the gold.

1194
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,799
Speaker 1: Oh, he was like, is it weed like embossed gold? Yeah,

1195
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 1: it's nice.

1196
00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 2: You know it's going to be a bestseller when they

1197
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:13,759
Speaker 2: invest in the embossing. Yeah, get the book wherever books

1198
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:16,440
Speaker 2: are sole. Check out her podcast Networth and Chill, which

1199
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:17,720
Speaker 2: is on YouTube.

1200
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:20,520
Speaker 1: And YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. You can

1201
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:22,800
Speaker 1: check me out on social media. Is your rich bff?

1202
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:26,719
Speaker 2: They already follow you. Yeah, all right, Brown Ambition fan,

1203
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 2: We'll see you next time. Thank you. So much for listening. Bye,

1204
00:56:34,480 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 2: and before I go, BA Fam, I want to shout

1205
00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 2: out the team that helps make Brown Ambition possible. Huge

1206
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:43,720
Speaker 2: thanks to my fam at iHeartRadio, Katrina Norvel and Jenna Cagel,

1207
00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:47,800
Speaker 2: my worker Bees behind the scenes, booking Assistant Brittany Laie

1208
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:51,800
Speaker 2: and virtual Assistant Camera McNair who keep me organized, and

1209
00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:54,839
Speaker 2: of course my editor Courtney Dean. Thank y'all so much

1210
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:58,000
Speaker 2: for supporting the show. If you love Brown Ambition, share

1211
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,439
Speaker 2: it with a friend, tag us on social and don't

1212
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:03,399
Speaker 2: forget to leave a comment or review Until next time.

1213
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:04,279
Speaker 2: By BA Fam