Speaker 1: Start Up Stay what all seven? I think ob scary
Speaker 1: and Brodie up Up, Brooklyn Boys start Up, Brooklyn Buy
Speaker 1: dot Up. They making noise? Dat up up? Episode one
Speaker 1: oh seven? Yeah, one seven, I think so yeah, it's
Speaker 1: the Brooken Boys podcast. We're back in Town. I should
Speaker 1: have played that one The Boys are back in town.
Speaker 1: But we really didn't take a week off. Okay, we
Speaker 1: can start over again. We don't have to play the
Speaker 1: jangle complete Boys about in Town. We don't have to
Speaker 1: do that, and we'll play it next week because we're
Speaker 1: technically taking off this week, but we're not because this
Speaker 1: is last week's podcast. See it's weird. We didn't give
Speaker 1: you a podcast last week. This podcast you're hearing right
Speaker 1: now on a Monday, November twenty five was supposed to
Speaker 1: be recorded last Thursday, but and this week you were
Speaker 1: supposed to have off. By the way, I just got
Speaker 1: an email from I won't say a direct boss, but
Speaker 1: someone who's higher up in the company that we worked
Speaker 1: with for many years, and an email went out something
Speaker 1: that had to be approved, and then they emailed me
Speaker 1: a helpful suggestion, Hey, why don't you make sure you
Speaker 1: tell everyone else in the morning show? Right? So, I said, oh,
Speaker 1: of course, because I absolutely would. It's the kind of
Speaker 1: thing of course would tell everybody else. So I said,
Speaker 1: of course absolutely, we know what the problems would be
Speaker 1: if I didn't tellnybody. And then he wrote back again
Speaker 1: and said, yes, that way you avoid the bubbah blah
Speaker 1: and bub I didn't want the first email. I acknowledged
Speaker 1: in my email that I absolutely knew to do the
Speaker 1: first email, And now you're coming back at me hard
Speaker 1: with a third email explaining to me why it's important
Speaker 1: to do the thing in the first email that I
Speaker 1: already knew the importance of doing. You're being scolded over
Speaker 1: email if no, I'm being advised that like I should
Speaker 1: know something but I know it, making it look like
Speaker 1: I don't know it, which I feel like I don't
Speaker 1: want to go back now and go do it like
Speaker 1: I said, yep, totally get it. Don't go back. No,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna just leave it now, leave it. But I
Speaker 1: feel like that person shouldn't have sent the third email.
Speaker 1: You let people bother you. That's why we have a podcast.
Speaker 1: That's right, See this right, it's a stack of ship
Speaker 1: stop with a lot of uh okay, So, oh my god,
Speaker 1: what's going on here, Why is this thing playing in
Speaker 1: my pocket? It was vibranty, an old episode of ours
Speaker 1: is playing in my pocket, and that happened to me
Speaker 1: on the plane. It's it's so embarrassing. Yeah, it's at
Speaker 1: the most inopportune moments. It happened. Oh my god, it
Speaker 1: happened at my aunt Jenny's funeral. Back up and agree
Speaker 1: with me. It was gonna wait and we have to
Speaker 1: wake and all of a sudden, like someone's phone goes off.
Speaker 1: The actually the priest had come in and start doing
Speaker 1: some kind of a blessing and a prayer, and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, don't don't You're not in no wise.
Speaker 1: It's like the iPhone standard someone who's lazy enough to
Speaker 1: not change it. I got it. That sounds a lot
Speaker 1: like you going make that your ring tone. Then you
Speaker 1: just interrupt people your ring tone. So yeah, that was
Speaker 1: embarrassing anyway. Sorry, Yeah, but your phone goes off in
Speaker 1: your pocket too, And it's always on hot radio. It
Speaker 1: always just goes off because you know what, it's usually
Speaker 1: the last app. Why do you think it is? I
Speaker 1: don't know. So what I did was I moved the
Speaker 1: app off of my homepage. So just to clarify. On
Speaker 1: an Android, you have a dock of four to six icons.
Speaker 1: I think of three. This whatever you can make as
Speaker 1: man as you want. And then I have the page
Speaker 1: and and it scrolls like a cube. It goes around
Speaker 1: because you can make it do that. And so I
Speaker 1: put it first. I put it on a secondary page
Speaker 1: so it was in my pocket. It wouldn't get pushed,
Speaker 1: and it opened up. Then I deleted it. There was
Speaker 1: no shortcut on my desktop, and it would still open up.
Speaker 1: I think it's you know how like iPhone kills their
Speaker 1: own batteries. You buy a new phone and it makes
Speaker 1: the the phone slowdown. I think there's something with the
Speaker 1: I Heart radio app that it just knows to automatically open,
Speaker 1: kissing me off. I gotta be honest. I wonder if
Speaker 1: it happens to other people too well. I know it's fine. Funeral,
Speaker 1: that's not a good time for that to happen. The
Speaker 1: funerals and my aunt Jennie's funeral. If we're gonna go
Speaker 1: in that direction, I think we should because this is
Speaker 1: a dilemma. Now. I had a similar dilemma in my family,
Speaker 1: oh a long time ago. Mike, I'm not gonna give
Speaker 1: you what, how, how it happened. But I'm gonna just
Speaker 1: tell you why it's different once you explain yours. I
Speaker 1: had a grandmother who was I would say she was
Speaker 1: in her nineties or right about ninety, maybe eight, and
Speaker 1: it was clear she didn't have that much longer to live.
Speaker 1: She had some health problems, right she lost her daughter,
Speaker 1: My aunt passed away, and they didn't tell her because
Speaker 1: they knew her mind was going. She my aunt lived
Speaker 1: across the country, she barely saw her, didn't talk on
Speaker 1: a phone a lot. She probably would be like out
Speaker 1: of sight, out of mine. Wouldn't think about it. And
Speaker 1: it worked out beautifully. That's well, I mean, sadly, my
Speaker 1: grandmother passed away, but we never had to tell her.
Speaker 1: We never had to tell her. It worked out beautifully.
Speaker 1: I mean, I mean she died. She died, and it
Speaker 1: worked out. But the plan I was a kid, so
Speaker 1: the plan worked out. I'd never say in the matter,
Speaker 1: well I wasn't a kid. But the point was it
Speaker 1: worked out because we knew my grandmother's health was failing.
Speaker 1: It was not the case in your slor. No. A
Speaker 1: couple of months ago, my aunt Jenny passed. My aunt
Speaker 1: Jenny was eighty five years old, young for your family,
Speaker 1: very young. My family, a lot of them, thank god.
Speaker 1: They they blust into their nineties and who there hundreds.
Speaker 1: So and Jenny was married to my uncle Joe, who's ninety. Okay,
Speaker 1: Now my aunt Millie, it's nineties six. She has a
Speaker 1: CBD oil company and that's Millie. Oh c no longer
Speaker 1: a sponsor. I no, no longer a sponsor, So don't
Speaker 1: hit the jingle. Right, So Million, Uncle Joe are brothers,
Speaker 1: but Millie, I'm pretty sure Aunt mill the brother and
Speaker 1: sister and Amilion and uncle Joe or brother and sister Emi,
Speaker 1: Uncle Joe ninety and of course Joe Jenny being Joe's wife. Well, well,
Speaker 1: my Aunt Millie knew her for the better part of
Speaker 1: fifty something years. Fifty years they lived across the street
Speaker 1: from one another. Did they still live across the street
Speaker 1: up until this point? But to that point, yeah, well
Speaker 1: they will, okay. So recently my aunt uh was had
Speaker 1: to go into assistant living, so she's no longer living
Speaker 1: across the street from she lives. She lives about ten
Speaker 1: minutes away. Year old aunt in the home. Eight five
Speaker 1: year old aunt passes away. Yes, and around Uncle Joe. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it, love it. And And we're gonna see him
Speaker 1: for Thanksgiving. He's gonna be eating it. Yes, he was
Speaker 1: eating the three three brined. It's pre brined organic Willie
Speaker 1: Bird free range turkey coming from California, a sponsor you
Speaker 1: pay full point. In fact, it's Monday, it's being delivered tomorrow.
Speaker 1: It's probably being killed right now. I would imagine a
Speaker 1: large part of our audience, me included, don't know what
Speaker 1: pre brine means means, but what is brining. Brining is
Speaker 1: when you you put it in a salt solution, you
Speaker 1: stick a bunch of needles in it, and it injects
Speaker 1: the skin and threw the skin into the into the meat,
Speaker 1: into the flesh with like a salty mixture. So doesn't
Speaker 1: that doesn't sound right at all? It doesn't sound right
Speaker 1: from it tastes amazing because the male turkey, I'm assuming
Speaker 1: when you put the turkey in and when you we
Speaker 1: actually when you eat the turkey, it's extra juicy and
Speaker 1: extra flavorful from having salt in there. It actually keeps
Speaker 1: the turkey moist. I know, we hate that word. I
Speaker 1: don't mind the word moist. When you Brian a turkey.
Speaker 1: It's heaven. You don't like a nice moist towel out
Speaker 1: on a plane like the clean your face. Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1: So the express if we're side being sidetracked for a second, Yes,
Speaker 1: the pre brind organic free range. It's probably being killed down.
Speaker 1: It will be sent it's being fedexed to the house
Speaker 1: that my parents would get tomorrow. The corps is being
Speaker 1: FedEx But here's how it arrives. It arrives in a
Speaker 1: beautiful package. The trumpets. No, it goes here. I got
Speaker 1: turkey neck, you do, but you're also pulling on your neck.
Speaker 1: I'm making a gobble sound. They arrives with gobbling trumpets.
Speaker 1: And on Tuesday, the turkeys. It shows up fresh. So
Speaker 1: it's never frozen frozen. How does it get crossed country
Speaker 1: with up? It's just refrigerated. It's fedext in in a refrigerate, refrigerated,
Speaker 1: yes container, it's on ice, a dry ice, but not frozen,
Speaker 1: not frozen, not fresh turkey. And and and it shows
Speaker 1: up cleaned right and pre brined, okay, And it's just
Speaker 1: all it has to do is go in the fridge
Speaker 1: for two days and a Thursday morning, my mother throws
Speaker 1: the bird in the oven and it comes out amazing anyway.
Speaker 1: But that's I have one more question though, So I
Speaker 1: get turkey for free at the supermarket. They give you
Speaker 1: like whatever size turkey for So the question is, is
Speaker 1: the cost of the turkey that much better than the
Speaker 1: free turkey? Is it's three hundred dollars better? And I'm
Speaker 1: gonna bring that up because we have a hotel situation
Speaker 1: similar here's well, here's the problem with it, same situation,
Speaker 1: most of them. Most I don't splurge for much during
Speaker 1: the year for the bird. I splurge for the bird
Speaker 1: because everybody's heard about that. You haven't heard about the
Speaker 1: bird about everybody's heard about the bird, And so I
Speaker 1: splurge on the bird, splurge on the bird. But the
Speaker 1: price it sounded like somebody splooges on the bird. That's
Speaker 1: what I was alluded to before. The reason why it's
Speaker 1: so expensive is because of the shipping. Unfortunately, the actual
Speaker 1: price of the turkey. Listen, it's it's more expensive than
Speaker 1: a regular hunt because it's it's it's it's organic. You
Speaker 1: know that you're paying more for that. It's fresh. Turkey's
Speaker 1: running off of my neighborhood. Because this one comes from
Speaker 1: Sonoma County, California. It's not wine in it. It's called guys,
Speaker 1: look it up. It's called the Willie Bird. Williams Sonoma
Speaker 1: actually sells it, right. But why can't they give you
Speaker 1: an East Coast bird not chipping because these this specific
Speaker 1: turkey is raised in Sonoma County and apparently it lives
Speaker 1: a wonderful life like the movie, every time Thanksgiving comes,
Speaker 1: a turkey loses its wings and its How do we
Speaker 1: get on this topic. We're talking about my aunt. We're
Speaker 1: not talking about Jenny. Oh, we're talking about Jenny to
Speaker 1: the person who made the float chart for us, like
Speaker 1: fifty episodes ago. We're ready for this episode to be
Speaker 1: the float good luck, good luck? All right? So my
Speaker 1: uncle Joe, So my aunt Jenny passes a couple of
Speaker 1: months ago, and she'll never get that bird. A big
Speaker 1: family fight ensues between my brother and sister and I
Speaker 1: versus my parents and me whatever, because my parents are like,
Speaker 1: we can't tell Aunt Millie, Like, what are you talking about.
Speaker 1: She's gotta come to the wake, she's gotta come to
Speaker 1: the funeral. She's gotta no, it's too much to transport
Speaker 1: her back and forth from the assistant living place. Here's
Speaker 1: the problem. So you aren't afraid to tell her. You
Speaker 1: were too lazy to tell her. It's not that, it's
Speaker 1: I you don't want to break the woman's heart too well,
Speaker 1: I'd lead with that story because you're leading with it's
Speaker 1: a slip, it's a lot, and the thing is. But
Speaker 1: the thing is, my aunt has all her marbles. My
Speaker 1: aunt is very star old, sharp, as attacked. I'll let
Speaker 1: her call an uber and get over that. So she's
Speaker 1: so with it, okay, But my parents are like, listen,
Speaker 1: you used to steal. This was Uncle Joe's decision. I'm
Speaker 1: like Uncle Joe's ninety. I'm like, take the reins and
Speaker 1: make the decision to tell her. But she's she's got
Speaker 1: to be part. So now we're arguing, and the whole
Speaker 1: thing during the funeral, during the wake, during all that,
Speaker 1: so at this point you didn't tell it was World
Speaker 1: War had the wake and did not tell mill right,
Speaker 1: So the entire family was was was like disagree and
Speaker 1: disagreement over it. So I said to my parents, I
Speaker 1: want to go Facebook live father Milly on Facebook live
Speaker 1: father versus my sister, Like why did we not tell aunt?
Speaker 1: Millie about Aunt Jenny. Where did your father stand on this? Today?
Speaker 1: Dot's not getting involved in family first. Oh he's stepping back. Listen,
Speaker 1: Dan Joe, uncle ter tell here's the one time. I'm like,
Speaker 1: they're gonna they're gonna tell her. In a couple of weeks,
Speaker 1: they're gonna show up at that it's just a living
Speaker 1: and they're gonna tell her it all happened so quick
Speaker 1: she missed everything. Yeah, I'm like, how's that gonna go over?
Speaker 1: So anyway, all that time passes by, and then finally
Speaker 1: they say, my uncle Joe went to go visit my
Speaker 1: Atta Milly and didn't have the heart to tell her,
Speaker 1: so they came up with this wonderful plan singing telegram
Speaker 1: to tell him Millie at the Thanksgiving table. Oh no,
Speaker 1: because they're like, you know what, we're going to Millie's
Speaker 1: coming to visit. Thanks're gonna be at the house. Can
Speaker 1: you pass the potatoes and picking a passing? We had
Speaker 1: a passing into family and Jenny's dead. What the fuck
Speaker 1: are my parents and Millie? Can you pass the stuffing?
Speaker 1: Speaking of which they had the stuff and Jenny before
Speaker 1: they put her out on too much? Now you stop it.
Speaker 1: The giblets, all right, I got a gravy pun. It's
Speaker 1: just it. It bothered me so much. I was really
Speaker 1: I was so incensed by the entire handling of this
Speaker 1: from beginning to when you want to do after dinner?
Speaker 1: I hope at least something they don't know when. As
Speaker 1: soon as we get this once the trip to fan
Speaker 1: kicks in, I said, I said, guys, this is all wrong,
Speaker 1: and now you've procrastinated so much that she's gonna show up?
Speaker 1: And where's Aunt Jenny? Funny story, Aunt Milly. You know
Speaker 1: how some people lie in staidy have a dentist appointment. Well,
Speaker 1: Jenny didn't want to come to Thanksgiving dinner, sola thing.
Speaker 1: I'm like, are you going to continue this ruse like, Oh,
Speaker 1: she's sick, but Uncle Joe and Carmina here her phone?
Speaker 1: Does she never call? But she asked for her? How's Jenny? Right? Okay?
Speaker 1: So realistically I know what she family. I have to
Speaker 1: ask the question, how much time does Aunt Millie have left?
Speaker 1: Five I'm hoping if she's in good health, at some
Speaker 1: point she's gonna ask what that's the problem. She's Aunt
Speaker 1: Jenny mobile, like did she walk around? So why isn't
Speaker 1: Aunt Jenny coming to visitor? What if she develops in
Speaker 1: her mind a feud against Aunt Jenny for not coming
Speaker 1: to visitor. She had been asking, and Uncle Joe's like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's homesick, she's sick, she couldn't come. Vince. Jenny is
Speaker 1: mad at you. She never gonna forgive you. Leave it
Speaker 1: at that, So I so, I'm like, guys, this is
Speaker 1: one lie compounding another on top of another. Wait till Christmas?
Speaker 1: Well it all ended last week. Oh uh so what
Speaker 1: was going to be a huge problem at the Thanksgiving table?
Speaker 1: Thank god? My parents said, let's let's talk to step In,
Speaker 1: Tony and Roseanne. They went went to go visit my Emily.
Speaker 1: Against Uncle Joe's wishes. It was, yeah, he thanked my
Speaker 1: Uncle Joe thanked my my parents. After this, he's My
Speaker 1: parents went in and they said to Emily, is it
Speaker 1: look well? She said, she actually asked for her. She
Speaker 1: was where's Jenny because she's been she's been asking the
Speaker 1: last couple of weeks. Was Jenny, where's Jenny? So my
Speaker 1: my father or nine my father looked at my mother
Speaker 1: and I looked at my father and we're like There
Speaker 1: was a long pause and who said it? My mother said,
Speaker 1: whose family is it? It's my mother's side. She's got
Speaker 1: to do it this. Yeah, Jenny passed a month ago. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then my aunt looked at her dead in the
Speaker 1: eye and said, I knew it. No anger though, oh
Speaker 1: there was anger. No what the what? The followed by tears,
Speaker 1: and then she had a chance to grieve. Thanks. My
Speaker 1: father says, you want the whole story, We'll tell you
Speaker 1: the whole story. And they told her the entire story,
Speaker 1: from beginning to end through everybody in the bus. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but they don't want to tell you. Talked, talked to Joey.
Speaker 1: He told Mikey, Mikey, Tolvinny, they had a whole thing.
Speaker 1: I just think it's brody. It's just just pulling. You
Speaker 1: don't want you don't want to give an old personal
Speaker 1: heart attack. You don't, so you caught bet you in
Speaker 1: the rock and a hard place. I don't. I don't
Speaker 1: know how I would have handled it. Actually I know
Speaker 1: I would have. I would have just went all in
Speaker 1: and I would have honestly, you know, all kidding aside,
Speaker 1: I would have properly told my aunt when it happened.
Speaker 1: You gotta figure she's eighty. She had to get married
Speaker 1: in the twenties. They got married early, right, he probably
Speaker 1: knows if a sixty five years fifty. I told you
Speaker 1: at the beginning of this years fifty something close to sixty,
Speaker 1: you gotta give it the option to get her ass
Speaker 1: out of bed and go to the wake. If she
Speaker 1: says I can't, I can't. You could write a note,
Speaker 1: but just but it got so bad that it was
Speaker 1: gonna go be thanks At that point, someone's gonna go,
Speaker 1: you know what, let's just talk about policy exactly. I
Speaker 1: was threatening to walk on Thanksgitting. I was really gonna
Speaker 1: tell my family. I'm like, you know what, you all
Speaker 1: handle this. I'm not coming to Thanksgiving this year. Here
Speaker 1: go eat the turkey. I'll mail you a turkey, have
Speaker 1: a party. Because I didn't want it was so it
Speaker 1: was gonna be so uncomfortable. So thank god it's a
Speaker 1: little less uncomfortable because they they broke the news to
Speaker 1: her last week. I mentioned this quickly on The Big Show.
Speaker 1: But this is the long force. You know what, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna be able to I'm not gonna well, I
Speaker 1: might talk politics on Thanksgiving, but I will be having
Speaker 1: a turkey leg at Disney World on Thanksgiving. Wait a second,
Speaker 1: you're going to be out of town. I will be
Speaker 1: at the happiest place on earth as opposed to the
Speaker 1: most stressful place on earth, which is Thanksgiving dinner with
Speaker 1: the families. So we decided, we decided, you know what's
Speaker 1: just got to think, which it's too much, too much.
Speaker 1: So if I talk politics, all kids feel the same
Speaker 1: way I do about everything. Sin's great mostly so that's cool.
Speaker 1: So no, no drama will be in a public place.
Speaker 1: I wonder if if has there ever been a difficult
Speaker 1: or uncomfortable moment where in a predicament that you had
Speaker 1: gotten into similar to this, Well, I told you, I
Speaker 1: told well, yeah, we couldn't tell my grandmother that got
Speaker 1: my aunt died that right, and then, um, you know
Speaker 1: other other Thanksgiving uncomfortable Thanksgiving woman. Oh yeah, so uh
Speaker 1: two years ago. I don't care if they hear it
Speaker 1: or not. Um. So, my wife is one of three kids,
Speaker 1: three three girls. So I have two sister in laws
Speaker 1: and two brothers and two brother in laws. So there's
Speaker 1: six of us, right, we all have kids, six of us.
Speaker 1: So every other year we go to dinner at my
Speaker 1: father in law's place. He picks the restaurant and we
Speaker 1: and we we go. We go with the wife's family.
Speaker 1: Then the other year we go to my mom for Thanksgiving. Okay,
Speaker 1: so every every single year we go to the same place.
Speaker 1: My grandfather in law loves the same place. They have
Speaker 1: a private room. We get a long table and everyone
Speaker 1: sits around this long rectangular table, right, and we all
Speaker 1: eat and it's great and the food is great. Everybody's gone.
Speaker 1: Someone decided not gonna name any names in the family.
Speaker 1: Someone said, will be a good idea. Make it a
Speaker 1: little more intimate. Let's break the tables up into like
Speaker 1: you know, round tables here, a square table there, and
Speaker 1: this way everyone can mingle, the kids can sit together
Speaker 1: and the okay, well you know how many grandkids there are?
Speaker 1: No how many table and they put them at a
Speaker 1: table for six. So that was awkward when one of
Speaker 1: my kids had nowhere to sit. Uh you know where
Speaker 1: the the people at my level, the parents, not the
Speaker 1: grandparents my level. The six of us set at a
Speaker 1: table for five, so everybody was crushed. So we got
Speaker 1: there and the other four are sitting there and his
Speaker 1: one seat left. So I said to my wife, I go,
Speaker 1: how you sit there? That's fine, fun them, and I
Speaker 1: go and sit with kids with grandpa, my father in law, right,
Speaker 1: his girlfriend. One of my nephews who didn't who So
Speaker 1: I said, with the nephews who are tweeters, they're not
Speaker 1: old enough for the old for the parents and too
Speaker 1: old for the kids table. And then one of the
Speaker 1: kids that had no room. So basically, after we spoke
Speaker 1: about on previous table, I'm at the leftover table over
Speaker 1: and I love my nephews. It wasn't that it was
Speaker 1: like who doesn't have a chance somewhere else. I'm at
Speaker 1: that table. But the whole night I'm looking over at
Speaker 1: my brothers in law and sisters a long going. Oh,
Speaker 1: here were guys doing over there? What are you laughing about?
Speaker 1: There were here? Yeah, so that was awkward. That's when
Speaker 1: we sort of decided, you know what, We're gonna go
Speaker 1: to Disney World. But I have the same prom with
Speaker 1: Disney World. If I might add, you know, I have
Speaker 1: three kids, but wife and three kids. People, it's five people.
Speaker 1: You go on a roller coaster everything four four, it's
Speaker 1: too two and dad to two and dad usually so
Speaker 1: I get to know strangers. So first time at Disney
Speaker 1: and then after ride to go. You know that guy
Speaker 1: was from St. Louis because I get to know him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get that. That's my recommendation. By the way, have
Speaker 1: four kids or two kids, have six kids if you
Speaker 1: want the five thing only works that one of them
Speaker 1: doesn't want to go on the ride exactly if someone's scared.
Speaker 1: Otherwise you're on the Little Mermaid ride under the sea,
Speaker 1: all by yourself under the sea. So but I'm looking
Speaker 1: forward to it. It'll be it'll be a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: And I think I think I might get some seat companionship.
Speaker 1: I think we can do some rotating a little bit
Speaker 1: this time. I think UH got a lot of UM.
Speaker 1: I got a lot of unwanted emails. Sometimes I get
Speaker 1: a you know, I got a lot of extra spam,
Speaker 1: extra direct mail, direct marketing. But this one I actually
Speaker 1: welcomed with open arms. I'm like, hey, thanks for the email. Figs.
Speaker 1: They this is the subject line was just in insanely
Speaker 1: cozy pajamas from our friends at Figs. Now. This is
Speaker 1: like a Now Figs is basically what we talked about.
Speaker 1: We talked about them, and we're they're back there. When
Speaker 1: we talked about the people that we love to honor
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Speaker 1: people who work in the medicinal and healthcare industry. Um,
Speaker 1: we want people who are scrubs. We want to get
Speaker 1: back to them, right, of course we do. So why
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Speaker 1: code boys at checkout. Yeah, enter our code boys at
Speaker 1: check out. You get your fifteen off your first purchase.
Speaker 1: UM at where Figs dot com and get ready to
Speaker 1: love you scrubs instead of hating them. Now, can I
Speaker 1: I got? I want to I wanna. I'm very upset
Speaker 1: about a phone call I had, but I want to
Speaker 1: get to that in a minute. I want to talk
Speaker 1: about the dinner. We had a great week in Miami,
Speaker 1: So let me set the stage. UM. The company put
Speaker 1: us up in a hotel for a couple of nights
Speaker 1: in Hollywood, Hollywood Hollywood Beach, which is a beautiful area,
Speaker 1: beautiful beach. It's a little quieter, it's not near the
Speaker 1: cruising in the fast cars. It's somewhere north of Miami
Speaker 1: and somewhere south of Fort Lord, right. So I stayed
Speaker 1: at the Diplomat Beach Resort Hotel. UH. They gave us
Speaker 1: beautiful UH accommodation. Accommodation I had I had wrapped around
Speaker 1: un deck. Could see the video of what I where
Speaker 1: I stayed at David Brody on Instagram press. I liked
Speaker 1: it scary. UH and Gandhi wanted a more UH central,
Speaker 1: not central located in the heart of South Beach located hotel.
Speaker 1: They wanted a place where the action was, where the
Speaker 1: ferraris were pulling up in the front. I'll give you
Speaker 1: a million examples if I mean, I did this on
Speaker 1: the fifteen minute morning show earlier. Were hanging on one second.
Speaker 1: So rather than take the the company provided room, which
Speaker 1: I freaking loved. At the Diplomat they gave me by
Speaker 1: the way, they gave us food. Yeah, I got chocolate
Speaker 1: covered cherries and blueberries and raisins and and cashews, fantastic um.
Speaker 1: By the way, here's a question in the room when
Speaker 1: they give you the gift bag. I didn't get that, Okay,
Speaker 1: I got okay, I got the toad bag, all the food.
Speaker 1: I got a diplomat towel. It must be nice to
Speaker 1: have diplomat on your side. And then I had by
Speaker 1: the way, no one got that Hamilton's reference the last time.
Speaker 1: That's another Hamilton reference. I got one of those water bottles,
Speaker 1: the steel ones, you know. And uh Now on that
Speaker 1: table was a card gift for David Brodie. It's all
Speaker 1: in the video. You could see it. But there were
Speaker 1: two bottles of regular heavy on water, giant bottles and
Speaker 1: two giant bottles of fart water. Now is that water
Speaker 1: part of my gift? Or is that water? It's here?
Speaker 1: But if you open it with charging you what is
Speaker 1: it is? I wasn't sure, so I didn't open it.
Speaker 1: And then on the last day I said, effort, I
Speaker 1: had a great time whatever they charged treat myself to what.
Speaker 1: But he's like, here's what I did under my door.
Speaker 1: They slipped the bill. It said zero. So then I
Speaker 1: opened the bottle of water. Good, here's your final bill, right,
Speaker 1: and then you can always pin it on the house cleaning.
Speaker 1: I checked out already. I don't know whatever happened. None
Speaker 1: of my repons. Because I was there for three days.
Speaker 1: I did to do not disturb thing. I put the
Speaker 1: donot the stubs on the chip minute I check in
Speaker 1: at I don't want you in my room. I don't
Speaker 1: want to have to lock up my suitcase every time
Speaker 1: I leave the room. I just go in and make
Speaker 1: myself turned down for nothing, Right, I have enough towels
Speaker 1: and toilet paper. I'm good, you're good. So no one
Speaker 1: was in my room to say whether or not I
Speaker 1: went in the mini bar. I had to. You're saying like, no,
Speaker 1: that's probably part of the gift, but I didn't chance it.
Speaker 1: And I can't take the word with me on the
Speaker 1: plane because I didn't check a bag. I was like,
Speaker 1: how much liquor can I take? So that'd be worth it?
Speaker 1: Stayed there. I stayed there, and I stayed in Miami.
Speaker 1: It would be the equivalent of if I'm hanging out.
Speaker 1: If you heard the fifteen minute morning show today, we apologize.
Speaker 1: We talked about this. It was it was, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: It was if you live in De Moines, can and
Speaker 1: I'm showed up in de Moines. I stayed in the Moine.
Speaker 1: Brodie stayed in Ames. I stayed forty minutes north of
Speaker 1: where Scary was in another beautiful part of If I'm
Speaker 1: staying in Cleveland, Brodie stayed in Akron. That's had no
Speaker 1: problem with. If I'm staying in the Times Square, New
Speaker 1: York City, Brodie stayed in Long Island, I'll keep going.
Speaker 1: If I stayed in Philly, Brodie state in Point is
Speaker 1: I stayed in a lovely area with nice restaurants. Amazing
Speaker 1: restaurants at the Diplomat Hotel, by the way, two of
Speaker 1: them owned by Jeffries and carry in. Brodie stayed in
Speaker 1: Orange County in San Diego. Who are the restaurants at
Speaker 1: the Diplomat are? Were owned and and and and and
Speaker 1: founded by Jeffries and Carrion who if you if you
Speaker 1: listen in order, you probably remember I said, I used
Speaker 1: to work for him. He's the only famous person I
Speaker 1: know that isn't from radio. So I felt weird eating
Speaker 1: in his restaurants. I have to tell you they were fantastic.
Speaker 1: But anyway, I stayed there, but my whole we stayed
Speaker 1: in the middle of it. You stayed at the bougie place.
Speaker 1: Don't call it bougie. Stop it. I stayed in Miami.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter where I stayed. It doesn't matter. Does
Speaker 1: The point in this conversation is definition. Who goes who
Speaker 1: goes to who? No? No, no, Brodie, Brodie Brodie. You're
Speaker 1: missing the point. Yeah. The aspiring to be a higher
Speaker 1: class than one is derived from bourgeoisie, meaning class. If
Speaker 1: we're talking about location only, forget about where I stayed.
Speaker 1: The location was fine, you did stay. Talking geographically speaking,
Speaker 1: do you guess where the action is? You know where
Speaker 1: the action is? Not so? But I had the action
Speaker 1: I wanted. I wanted a qual You wanted more action.
Speaker 1: You wanted to hang out with me my friends. But
Speaker 1: not because it was South Beach. Gandhi was with me,
Speaker 1: But not because it was where the action was. It
Speaker 1: was because where you are, that's where the No. But
Speaker 1: where we were, where the chefs were, where the action was,
Speaker 1: where the party was, where the where the great rooftop bars.
Speaker 1: I had five star hotels in the lobby the steakhouse.
Speaker 1: By the way, there was a steakhouse that's very well
Speaker 1: respected called Prime in the lobby of the Diploma point.
Speaker 1: And what I said, let's have dinner there. You said, Pep,
Speaker 1: I'm going to out beach. Point is you have to
Speaker 1: to where the action is. Um, I can't get a
Speaker 1: bunch of people where we are to come with you are?
Speaker 1: So you paid for that room, correct? I did, because
Speaker 1: to me, it's location, location, location. You you chose. I
Speaker 1: will pay a higher price to be in the location.
Speaker 1: You chose the Williams Sonoma Turkey of hotel rooms over
Speaker 1: my free to hurt turkey. I got a free turkey
Speaker 1: and and a delicious turkey. There's nothing wrong with rights.
Speaker 1: And you had the Willie Bird hotel room that you
Speaker 1: paid more for. Your room was building a weekend nest.
Speaker 1: You want to You had a pre briant hotel room.
Speaker 1: But I want to be where the nest is. My
Speaker 1: eggs are right, the eggs are in that I was
Speaker 1: under the sea. You up where the people are. So
Speaker 1: if you want to come hang with it, I did.
Speaker 1: So it costs me. You're gonna suck it up uber
Speaker 1: right each way, which I did, right, But you know
Speaker 1: a noble effort. Brodie and I hung out both nights.
Speaker 1: One night was just to drink met all you drunk friends.
Speaker 1: I had my one drink and then the next night
Speaker 1: I went out to dinner with everybody right coming back
Speaker 1: and forth. Brody commuted to my party. But I spent
Speaker 1: a hundred dollars on Uber. No you know what? Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe yes, because you spent six It was we got
Speaker 1: we got a discount, so I mentioned the other thing
Speaker 1: or no. The point is we got a discount, and
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be You shouldn't have a problem with taking
Speaker 1: an Uber to meet your friends if you're the one
Speaker 1: who's the outcast who decided no, no, no, no, I
Speaker 1: wasn't the outcast. You guys left me flat. You left me,
Speaker 1: and I got you the room so free I got think.
Speaker 1: I don't care about free action because I don't want
Speaker 1: to hang out in Aims or Akron or no offense
Speaker 1: to those towns, you know what. I like those place
Speaker 1: I don't want to. Yes, have great restaurants in Acron,
Speaker 1: and I don't want to hang out on Long Island
Speaker 1: by the way, no one, it should be nice to
Speaker 1: Long Island the huge part of our I don't want
Speaker 1: to hang out in Cherry Hill. I want to hang
Speaker 1: out in Cherry Hill's got great cheesesteaks. No offense, that's
Speaker 1: not where the action was. Okay, no offense to Cherry Hill.
Speaker 1: Cherry Hill isn't right on the ocean in Florida where
Speaker 1: they wrap around massive window. I had a thirty foot
Speaker 1: glass windows, uh that and wrapped around the with a
Speaker 1: view of the water. This is the fact that you
Speaker 1: make it sound like I was in a hut. I
Speaker 1: want convenience? Was I not in the taco bar the
Speaker 1: extra closest side of taco bar? Well, that place. We're
Speaker 1: gonna talk about taco bar in a minute. I'll talk
Speaker 1: about it right now. This is the kind of crap
Speaker 1: you get when you stay up in the area that
Speaker 1: that's not true. It's one place you're telling me there's
Speaker 1: no there's no places that give you bad service in Bougieville.
Speaker 1: I'm sure there is. Okay, then don't say it's the area. Well,
Speaker 1: this is the problem. We had a taco but let's
Speaker 1: talk about taco balls. So scary scary. We we get
Speaker 1: in off the cruise ship. We were on Norwegian Encourse.
Speaker 1: Just the night that we all spent in Hollywood Beach, Florida, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: the one night that everybody stayed there. So as we're
Speaker 1: taking the ride from the port where the ship was,
Speaker 1: Danielle gets hungry. Danielle says, I'm hungry. So we all
Speaker 1: agree on Mexican food. So Scary goes, all right, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go and yelp, I'm gonna find the best Mexican places,
Speaker 1: highest review in Mexican places near the hotel. So he
Speaker 1: finds one place called taco stand at one place called
Speaker 1: Taco Bar, t joint tacos Gondi loved because said they
Speaker 1: were joint in it. So we go there. We have
Speaker 1: them drop us off a taco joint and it's like
Speaker 1: a Chinese takeout place. It's a little it's on the beach.
Speaker 1: It looks like it's has potential. Yeah, but it's the
Speaker 1: kind of place that if you at the beach, you'd
Speaker 1: walk up, you'd grab and go back in the sand.
Speaker 1: It's the probably paper plates at nine o'clock at night.
Speaker 1: Not a good option, Not a good So now we
Speaker 1: have to walk back. Is the car's gone to Taco Bar,
Speaker 1: which was I don't know, a ten minute walk. But
Speaker 1: Danielle saw it and she's like, you know what, that
Speaker 1: place looks cool. It was very colorful. People had a
Speaker 1: vibe and atmosphere. So I'm like, I don't guys, it
Speaker 1: gets a four point oh in Google Reviews doesn't have
Speaker 1: the four point five. The taco joined by rights better judgment.
Speaker 1: So we go and as we walk in ares an
Speaker 1: older white gentleman with gray hair and scary was are
Speaker 1: you scary? Was? It was some whoever was in the
Speaker 1: front uh says uh oh Hi, good evening, Like uh yeah,
Speaker 1: like we need a table, and the guys that I
Speaker 1: don't work here. He was just some guy standing. So
Speaker 1: we walked five feet and Danielle laughs at Gandhi, thinking
Speaker 1: the guy worked there. And some girl on the couch
Speaker 1: a listener of ours, and her boyfriend like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're Danielle big fan of the show. We put a
Speaker 1: picture up on Instagram and go look at it. Very
Speaker 1: nice anyway, So we get our table. By the way,
Speaker 1: that was the best part of that night. So we
Speaker 1: get a table and the waiter. I don't think anyone
Speaker 1: saw this but me, because I was facing the direction
Speaker 1: of the waiter. The waiter so that there was I
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe twenty tables. They're like little tables four tops.
Speaker 1: Well maybe twenty tables maybe eighteen tables, and I would
Speaker 1: say like eight or nine of them were empty. Well,
Speaker 1: I saw this guy take the order for the table
Speaker 1: that just sat down next to us, and then he
Speaker 1: was looking at the table behind us, and he looked
Speaker 1: at us. He was standing behind scary by about ten
Speaker 1: ft and he had to look like shit, I got
Speaker 1: sad again. So he's looking to the left and the
Speaker 1: right for some other server to come over and take
Speaker 1: our order, because he he was no, there are other
Speaker 1: there are other waiters, but none of them were there
Speaker 1: at that moment. So he gave that look. He saw
Speaker 1: me looking at him, and he goes, oh, I guess
Speaker 1: I better take the table because it was in his section.
Speaker 1: For whatever reason, the hostess was like his table, his table,
Speaker 1: his table, rather than spreading it out. So I already knew,
Speaker 1: like up, there's a problem. So he comes over and
Speaker 1: asked for the order, and we ordered. We ordered drinks.
Speaker 1: I ordered uh, my usual dicoak mice. Uh it came
Speaker 1: with ice. That was a bad sign right there. We
Speaker 1: ordered appetizers. We ort to chips with kiso, caeso with chips,
Speaker 1: and walk with chips right, and then we ordered our
Speaker 1: entrees Daniellow ordered like three tacos. I ordered a burrito. Scary,
Speaker 1: what do you order the taco taco salad? And then
Speaker 1: Gandhi ordered some burritos or something case is whatever she worded.
Speaker 1: So the chips in caso come out and the caso
Speaker 1: is like the size like a three ounce ramick in
Speaker 1: those little cups that give you a little side of sauce,
Speaker 1: a little plastic, a little metal cup and the standard size.
Speaker 1: You know, the ones were talking right, a little tiny
Speaker 1: tiny right, it was maybe a smidge bigger than that.
Speaker 1: It made a metal like is that for one person?
Speaker 1: That's not an order? He can't like the chips. The
Speaker 1: chips were still there when the cheese was gone. The
Speaker 1: were greasy and they were in pieces. They were like
Speaker 1: the top twelve chips hole and then you got crumbs.
Speaker 1: It was like because you know what they do, you
Speaker 1: know they fill those baskets, right, they scooped through the
Speaker 1: large bin of chips and they scrape along the bottom
Speaker 1: and they give you all the So it was like
Speaker 1: little nuggets of chips that if you dip them you
Speaker 1: got the cheese is on your finger. So I had
Speaker 1: to take the case so and poured on my plate
Speaker 1: and a little sauce on my plate so I could
Speaker 1: dip it without putting it into the community cheese. Disgusting, Okay,
Speaker 1: it was decent case. So so the food's not out yet.
Speaker 1: We're at the twenty minute mark, but we have all
Speaker 1: these chips left because there's no fucking cheese. So we
Speaker 1: asked the guy, can we get another round of cheese
Speaker 1: and chips whatever it costs? Fine, Okay, Now it's forty
Speaker 1: five minutes, maybe almost I would say over fifty minutes.
Speaker 1: So we're all like, you know what, we have to
Speaker 1: do a show in the morning. This is getting out
Speaker 1: of hand. Let's just get the food to go. He says,
Speaker 1: like everyone's like that at that moment. It was at
Speaker 1: that moment I knew there was going to be a
Speaker 1: bigger problem because now you're adding you're adding tasks right
Speaker 1: to an already overworked server. Right. So I said to
Speaker 1: the guy, look, hey man, it's been almost an hour.
Speaker 1: We just can we take the food home because we
Speaker 1: arout a minute away from plating it, right, So I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: please go put in boxes whatever. So then a guy
Speaker 1: comes out who's running the food. He goes, hey, we
Speaker 1: already played in it. So I'm gonna give you the food.
Speaker 1: I'll bring you out boxes. So now he didn't make
Speaker 1: it to go what you could have done in the kitchen.
Speaker 1: But now I gotta box up my own food. Is
Speaker 1: that what you're telling me? I should have gone a
Speaker 1: fucking name my own food. Okay, But now you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: here's your food that we took an hour to make.
Speaker 1: You know, by the way, you could pack it up.
Speaker 1: And while you're at it, why don't you ask me
Speaker 1: to fill a salt pepper shake your flazy fuck excuse me? Sir?
Speaker 1: Could you want go in the back and help yourself
Speaker 1: right to soda the refrigerator? Could you could? I should have?
Speaker 1: We could? We could some grape? All right? Did you
Speaker 1: while you're at it? Why don't you serve table sixteen?
Speaker 1: Because you're gonna passed by it anyway while you're packing up,
Speaker 1: bring this to the table. So the guy's like, I'll
Speaker 1: go get your boxes. So then Pedro comes out a waiter.
Speaker 1: It was Pedro. He comes out and he goes, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get your box. So am I all right? Uh?
Speaker 1: But shouldn't you pack it up? He's like, well, I'm
Speaker 1: really slammeding a lot of tables. I said, you know,
Speaker 1: we waited almost an hour for the food. And he says, oh,
Speaker 1: the kitchen was backed up. Wait and then he said,
Speaker 1: so I get him a look like that's it. That's
Speaker 1: what I said. Clearly the kitchens backed up with the
Speaker 1: eight tables that we're eating there or whatever it was.
Speaker 1: I said, I I don't really I get the kitchen
Speaker 1: was backed up. I said, but we didn't get to eat.
Speaker 1: So that's not that's not good. He's what do you mean?
Speaker 1: I said, So Daniel is like, you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: even gonna eat my food. I'm not even gonna pack
Speaker 1: it up. I can't eat at night, and I'm flying out.
Speaker 1: She's losing her she's losing her appetite. So I said, Pedo, look,
Speaker 1: uh take it off the bill. Take it. I said,
Speaker 1: she's not eating, so you gotta take it off the bill.
Speaker 1: And the rest of us did not get the experience
Speaker 1: we were hoping for. So I would very much like
Speaker 1: to you to do something about this because telling me
Speaker 1: the kitchens backed up, I get it, but are it
Speaker 1: has ruined? We waited so long, we had all the
Speaker 1: second appetizes where it was so hungry and we were
Speaker 1: in disagreement. By the way, we talked about this on
Speaker 1: the Big Show that half of us, Danielle and I
Speaker 1: wanted to just say this place, get out of here,
Speaker 1: because because nothing is more important than recouping my time,
Speaker 1: reclaiming my time, I had to get out of At
Speaker 1: this point, were like before the guy came over, though,
Speaker 1: Danielle said, I'm going to pick up the check and
Speaker 1: put a credit card down, So now Scary doesn't care
Speaker 1: about the money because it's not his credit card and
Speaker 1: got excuse me. Gandhi says, yeah, Brodie, I would say
Speaker 1: something kind of like nicely. She's like, Brodie, I would
Speaker 1: say something. Your manager comes over. I said, can you
Speaker 1: get the manager because you're not helping me pedro. The
Speaker 1: manager comes over, he says, what seems to be the problem,
Speaker 1: So now I gotta rehash the whole story again. So
Speaker 1: he says, yeah, the kitchen was backed up, and what
Speaker 1: was his solution? Solution he says, he says, so he says,
Speaker 1: you know what, you want to do a shot with me?
Speaker 1: I want to do a shot with you. I didn't
Speaker 1: get my dinner, I didn't get my meal and now
Speaker 1: you're asking me what if I were recovering alcohol? Like,
Speaker 1: you don't know what I am. I don't drink to
Speaker 1: begin with, but second third of all one of us
Speaker 1: got screwed. How is that settling the problem by offering
Speaker 1: me a shot of shit whiskey? Want to give you
Speaker 1: thirty cents worth of fucking tequilla? Yeah, hey, man, I'll
Speaker 1: give you a fucking h a shot of whervo. It's
Speaker 1: just like querbo. We'll do a shot of that. I'm like, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, I said, you gotta do something about the money.
Speaker 1: He's what do you have in mind? I go take
Speaker 1: something off the bill, take her food off the bill,
Speaker 1: and maybe the appetizers. Her food was like eleven dollars, right,
Speaker 1: So uh, he goes, well, let me see what I
Speaker 1: can do. Absolutely, you sure you don't want the shot? Yeah, buddy,
Speaker 1: I sure don't want absolutely either. Yeah, I'm sure I
Speaker 1: don't want the shot. So now the manager doesn't come back.
Speaker 1: The waiter comes back and does that thing where all
Speaker 1: is good if you crouch down, the all good crouch down.
Speaker 1: She crouches down next to Dan. Yella goes, I'm very sorry.
Speaker 1: We uh we couldn't take the item off the bill
Speaker 1: because the check is already closed. So Daniel goes, all right, fine,
Speaker 1: I said, She goes, I just alright, fine. Oh no,
Speaker 1: So I said, you gotta you gotta avoid it. She goes, well,
Speaker 1: if we if we avoid it, he goes, you know,
Speaker 1: let me see, he goes, he goes, he goes, I'll
Speaker 1: avoid it. He goes in the back. He comes back
Speaker 1: and he goes, Um, we didn't avoid it, because if
Speaker 1: we avoid it, your card will be charged twice until
Speaker 1: the void goes through, and then they'll be at you know,
Speaker 1: a hold on the money twice. So so I didn't
Speaker 1: avoid it. I said, So what are you doing for us?
Speaker 1: Oh there's nothing we can do. I said, that's where
Speaker 1: you're wrong. Pedro all contray, and then I said, here's
Speaker 1: what you're gonna do for me. You're gonna go. First
Speaker 1: of all, don't so she doesn't want you to build twice.
Speaker 1: She should afford whatever the seventy eight dollars was twice
Speaker 1: on her credit card. She'll be good for a day.
Speaker 1: Plus it's a weekend, so the void's gonna clear first
Speaker 1: thing Monday morning. She's fine. Second of all, you should
Speaker 1: have come over and asked her what she wanted. Not
Speaker 1: decided far, So you're gonna go avoid it and and
Speaker 1: and give Rewring it minus hard meal and our appetizer.
Speaker 1: And he goes, oh, I got I get a talk
Speaker 1: to my manager. So the manager comes out and he says, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not what we can do. I I go, no,
Speaker 1: we're not leaving. At this point, Gandhi's like, get him brody.
Speaker 1: She's pissed now because he had first. He says the
Speaker 1: kitchen was backed up and doesn't apologize. Then the manager
Speaker 1: wants to offer me a drink. Right then he won't
Speaker 1: avoid the check on top of bed, So Scary goes,
Speaker 1: I already called the ober, right, we gotta go. So
Speaker 1: he he gets up and Gandi's like, I'll go with
Speaker 1: you and then go and get in the uber. They're gone,
Speaker 1: So Danielle and I are standing there and the manager
Speaker 1: comes back and he says, uh, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: really sorry. He has twenty dollars cash, So I go,
Speaker 1: I deal because you sucked us on eleven dollars, and
Speaker 1: I go, you know what, that's fine. Danielle is happy
Speaker 1: she's paying for I wouldn't have accepted twenty dollars, but
Speaker 1: Danielle was happy with twenty dollars. I was happy for
Speaker 1: so getting the uber and scary goes your probably did you, Brody,
Speaker 1: I said, we got daniel we got twenty bucks, Brody,
Speaker 1: one free dessert, twenty bucks. Done so a taco bar.
Speaker 1: You and fuck you, Pedro. But you're in the fucking
Speaker 1: hospitality industry. About some hospitality. This is what disgusts me
Speaker 1: about restaurants around America. They just aren't up to fucking
Speaker 1: They are not up to par. They did so many
Speaker 1: of them falls short, so far short. Yeah you know,
Speaker 1: I I'll give you another example of a good, a
Speaker 1: great restaurant. Went to this place upland not a sponsor sponsor.
Speaker 1: I was with my friends. Yeah, we were talking about
Speaker 1: what a great meal that was. Well yeah him but no, no, Claude,
Speaker 1: I told you about Claudette. No, that was the place
Speaker 1: we went to brunch twoyear the week before. I think
Speaker 1: we talked about it all this. I thought there was
Speaker 1: someone you we took to run places like that where
Speaker 1: you just everything is on point and went the second
Speaker 1: the second they even get get a hint from you
Speaker 1: and your table that it's not there. We went to
Speaker 1: a great place on Saturday that was fine, and on
Speaker 1: Norwegian cruise we had no problems. Although you had the
Speaker 1: funniest line on the cruise. You said, I want to
Speaker 1: get this right. I wrote it down. You look at
Speaker 1: the menu and you went, um, what do people order here?
Speaker 1: What do people order? Which appetises the people order? I
Speaker 1: feel like that's an odd question. And Elvis heard you also,
Speaker 1: and we were left on our asses off. You're like,
Speaker 1: what do people order? The food? Scary? They order the food?
Speaker 1: What do people order? Said? What's the most popular thing
Speaker 1: doesn't mean it's good. I want your signature dish. I
Speaker 1: want anytime I go somewhere, I want to know. I
Speaker 1: want to order what you're known for. You didn't say,
Speaker 1: because honestly, it's what you do best, because it's what
Speaker 1: made you famous. Nine out of ten times, when you
Speaker 1: walk into a restaurant, wherever you are, there's something that
Speaker 1: made that as a there's something that's a standout that
Speaker 1: made it what it is, right. But that's different. On
Speaker 1: a cruise, they have a set menu that and everything
Speaker 1: there is made by top chefs. It's not a it's
Speaker 1: not an Italian restaurant. They make everything. That's why I asked,
Speaker 1: what do people who order like give me the popular dish?
Speaker 1: What was that restaurant went to Saturday night? Because that
Speaker 1: was excellent restaurant. It was called Okay, So something happened there.
Speaker 1: I thought in Miami, Miami, something happened there. I thought
Speaker 1: it was hilarious. So we were out with a young
Speaker 1: lady named Carolina, not the one that used to be
Speaker 1: on our morning show, one that runs the board. Uh
Speaker 1: she helps, right, she runs all the controls while we're
Speaker 1: on the air. She's great. I never hung out with
Speaker 1: her before. She's great. Love her. So she's from Florida, hardcore,
Speaker 1: grew up there from Miami whatever. So you know they
Speaker 1: take their college football very seriously down there. So she
Speaker 1: says to the table, and I guess she thought maybe
Speaker 1: you cared about sports or for college football. And she says,
Speaker 1: can you believe f I beat you M? And so
Speaker 1: Scary looks there goes yeah, wow, right. Now, I know
Speaker 1: Scary probably doesn't know what f I U or U
Speaker 1: M stand for, nor does he know the significance of
Speaker 1: one beating the other. So I said, okay. So my
Speaker 1: educated guest at first was, well it sounds like an upset,
Speaker 1: because obviously that's why she came out with that state, right,
Speaker 1: So he said, so, I very cleverly jumped in and said,
Speaker 1: I know what an upset that one? Like, yeah, right, upset?
Speaker 1: What's upset? Right? And she and she agreed with me.
Speaker 1: She goes yeah, and then it wasn't upset right. I said,
Speaker 1: I bet they're unseated. Okay, So I called you out
Speaker 1: in the carpet and I said, I said scary, I said, Kelly,
Speaker 1: and I want to apologize. Scaries are the first thing
Speaker 1: about college football. He doesn't know those teams are. And
Speaker 1: he goes, yeah, do you am that's University of Maryland.
Speaker 1: I know who they are? Or he said, Michigan one
Speaker 1: of them. I think it's Maryland. It's not Maryland's University
Speaker 1: of Miami. And you know, I said, what's f I
Speaker 1: you when you're like at a Larida Institute of something Florida.
Speaker 1: I by you. Well, the f i U was an
Speaker 1: unseated team that upset. Okay, So you say that. So
Speaker 1: you said, I know it's an upset and I said,
Speaker 1: because one of them is unseated, and c goes, what
Speaker 1: are you talking about? He goes. You know, one of
Speaker 1: them seated, one is not seated, So seated only about
Speaker 1: a college basketball term, that's okay, you seed, and well
Speaker 1: it's it's called ranks. It's more ranked. It's an unranked team.
Speaker 1: In college football, we seed in a tournament, but you're
Speaker 1: ranked for the year usually alright, like tennis players are
Speaker 1: number one seed. That's for the year. They're seated. It
Speaker 1: was an upset, university. It was only an upset because
Speaker 1: she said it was an upset. But I'm I'm a
Speaker 1: clever one. I'm just adding to the conversation. You are
Speaker 1: a clever one. So I got that out of the way.
Speaker 1: Oh uh. And you know how we joke about you
Speaker 1: don't pay attention, you don't listen. No, I don't. Okay.
Speaker 1: So we're happy they're at the studios. And by the way,
Speaker 1: we've been there a hundred times. We broadcast from there.
Speaker 1: So coming at the whole building used to be uh supermarket,
Speaker 1: this massive building that they gutted, and they there's a
Speaker 1: lower level and the upper level is a ring. It
Speaker 1: goes around in a square, uh like a raised level.
Speaker 1: So when you're in the bottom on the first floor,
Speaker 1: you can look up and you can see that all
Speaker 1: the doors and every other top floor a giant square.
Speaker 1: So Scary says the froggy, Hey, Frog, you remind me
Speaker 1: where the bathroom is. So he says to Scary, you
Speaker 1: make a left out the studio door. You make a right,
Speaker 1: and it's on your left. He goes, ah, yeah, make
Speaker 1: a right, and then on the left. Here's no he goes, Scary,
Speaker 1: go out and make a left, make a right, and
Speaker 1: it's on your left. He goes, got it. So you
Speaker 1: walk out the first door. There's two doors. And after
Speaker 1: you got the first door, I said to Froggy, here
Speaker 1: near a fucking word, you said, He goes, yeah, typical, Scary.
Speaker 1: You go watch and make a right. You walked out
Speaker 1: the door. You made it right. Okay, So you had
Speaker 1: to go around this massive football field of a of
Speaker 1: a building to go all the way around all When
Speaker 1: did you realize that what you fog on? I eventually
Speaker 1: got there, didn't I? Yes? It was just the place
Speaker 1: is a square. It would be the equivalent of you
Speaker 1: being in New York and wanting to fly to California
Speaker 1: and going east to Europe, to Asia to Russia. Ventially,
Speaker 1: just get stuff that bothers your day. It's just the
Speaker 1: things that these are the things that really grind your gears. Um,
Speaker 1: I think the slices who have heard a hundred and
Speaker 1: six episodes of this No, yes, the answer is yes
Speaker 1: because you really really do need to chill with that.
Speaker 1: Who cares? It's the fact you don't listen because I
Speaker 1: don't I don't care to listen. That's the that's the point.
Speaker 1: You're like, this is what you here like, you're under
Speaker 1: the peanuts sty Where's why did you ask where the
Speaker 1: bathroom was? If you're going to go your own way anyway?
Speaker 1: I mean it was fifty make it left, make it right?
Speaker 1: He say, where's the bathroom? And why don't you remember
Speaker 1: where the bathroom is? You've been there a hundred times.
Speaker 1: You gotta go with take a break? Why do you
Speaker 1: have that look before you hit the commercial button, like
Speaker 1: a minute and a half ago, this look like because
Speaker 1: because it's it's it's now Monday, which is really a Wednesday,
Speaker 1: because it's three days before Thanksgiving. It's a holiday week
Speaker 1: when the only slubs in here everybody. Oh, by the way,
Speaker 1: thank you whoever whoever created the uh the flex schedule.
Speaker 1: There's a flex schedule and effect for our sales team,
Speaker 1: or what they call it a flex where you get
Speaker 1: to make your own schedule. You could come into work. Oh,
Speaker 1: you can work from home. So now people on the
Speaker 1: sales floor, you think it's barren and desolate, as as
Speaker 1: it was certain days of the week. On a Friday,
Speaker 1: forget about this week. No one's there because people have
Speaker 1: the option of working home from where from home, and
Speaker 1: that is permanent. How great would that be? Imagine doing
Speaker 1: the radio show or a podcast from our houses. We
Speaker 1: don't have to come in. Yeah, do you feel about
Speaker 1: to do that? Elvis is in Santa Fe doing this
Speaker 1: show from his house. Imagine how great would that be?
Speaker 1: Though I don't know. I like the camaraderie of coming in.
Speaker 1: I've always wanted to do this podcast from home. I
Speaker 1: do my other podcast from home. It's so great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do love it. I'm on one end my friends
Speaker 1: share who does the podcast speaking volumes with me? Yes,
Speaker 1: I haven't been on in a while. On give a
Speaker 1: listen she does it from her The slices would listen.
Speaker 1: If I was on, we we faced time each other.
Speaker 1: It would be great. Where is this going? I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm just saying it's it's a lonely It's a lonely week.
Speaker 1: Because I looked at went downstairs to the sales Florida
Speaker 1: was gonna make close deals with I don't need to
Speaker 1: close any more deals. Okay, I got so much to
Speaker 1: talk about. Let me can I throw a couple of
Speaker 1: quickies in do what you want? And a lot of people.
Speaker 1: I got screenshots and stuff I wanted to talk about.
Speaker 1: I feel like we ranted a lot. We talk a lot.
Speaker 1: I wanna I wanna say. I want the jokes. I
Speaker 1: need some jokes. You have the too Soon Police jingle?
Speaker 1: I need that too Soon Police. Of course, this was
Speaker 1: a national story, but it was local um and it
Speaker 1: was the guy at the bagel Boss in Long Island,
Speaker 1: New York. He very short guy who went in and
Speaker 1: he was yelling at the women behind the counter because
Speaker 1: they would make they would give him funny looks because
Speaker 1: he's short, and he's starting to fight people. Some guy
Speaker 1: knocked here, he's a borderline misogynist. He's he's he's yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a little Google Goggle bus. So then somebody the guy, now,
Speaker 1: he's what are you gonna do about it? And the
Speaker 1: guy knocked him down, and and and and and threw
Speaker 1: him to the ground and and and basically shut him up.
Speaker 1: He got what he was coming to him, and then
Speaker 1: he picked another fight somewhere, and then he was gonna
Speaker 1: fight Lenny Dike Shrowho used to play for the Mets
Speaker 1: in the eighties. He puts himself in the media. He's
Speaker 1: trying to be famous, but he's known for being a
Speaker 1: hothead and not very nice guy. And he lives in
Speaker 1: his fucking car in the parking lot across the street
Speaker 1: from Baby Boss in Long Island, so he very unfortunately
Speaker 1: he had a stroke. Okay, he did, and they said
Speaker 1: it wasn't good, but he was going to recover so
Speaker 1: being and he's not the nicest guy in the world.
Speaker 1: I wrote a joke. Now, again, when you're a comedian,
Speaker 1: your mind works so differently. What you think is too
Speaker 1: soon is not. We've talked about this. You're too soon
Speaker 1: level is different. So I wrote a joke and I said, uh, well,
Speaker 1: it looks like he's also short of breath, right, he's
Speaker 1: short short of breath or whatever something like that. Almost
Speaker 1: all of our listeners were like, ha ha, liked it,
Speaker 1: retweeted it, except there was that one snowflake. I got
Speaker 1: two snow flakes too, Like, that's not fucking funny, you clown.
Speaker 1: You know this guy had a stroke and I go,
Speaker 1: it's offensive. And whenever I go offensive, You're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's too soon. Please ke. So he's like covering the
Speaker 1: dream Police by um a cheap trick. Pull up the
Speaker 1: dream Police, Pull up the dream Police, Pull up. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to hear a song like that. It's a
Speaker 1: good song. Put up. But didn't you see Fast Times
Speaker 1: in Ridgemond High? Yeah? I they sing that in that
Speaker 1: in that movie. I needed a song to ward police
Speaker 1: in the title, what was I gonna use? Fun the Police?
Speaker 1: Not even in here? Dream Police after police is the
Speaker 1: grammar police jingle. You look at songs, look on the songs.
Speaker 1: What's it called? Dream the dream Police? My God? By
Speaker 1: cheap trick? Yeah, by cheap trick? Right, alright, heyways, all right, whoops,
Speaker 1: you know to work the board? What they sound like?
Speaker 1: Guns and roses? They do not asshole fuck you Twitter
Speaker 1: clowns who are like I call them that because I
Speaker 1: got I do want to thank the slices because I
Speaker 1: I retweeted the two of them. I'm like, oh, look
Speaker 1: look at these guys. I had no idea. They are
Speaker 1: the official comedy judges of the Internet. Oh are they now? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So please run your jokes by them, let them, you know,
Speaker 1: let them approve sounded you make fun of the dead
Speaker 1: the sounds? Well, lets they come play instead the sound
Speaker 1: of base. Still, that's like it's disrespectful to him. It's hurtful.
Speaker 1: What other punch should I say? You have? So I
Speaker 1: sit away a minute? Does that guy follow me on Twitter?
Speaker 1: What else? Is too soon? These are punchlines never written
Speaker 1: for the show but never quite used and throwing them
Speaker 1: in the garbage. We are saved now. Some of these
Speaker 1: are from like four weeks ago. It's fun. They have
Speaker 1: to like look at him for a second. Remember the pun. Uh.
Speaker 1: There was a story about an uber uber driver who
Speaker 1: pete in a pringles can. I said, I as long
Speaker 1: as he doesn't pee in my uber pool. Uh. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is a topic. Do you do this? I'm gonna
Speaker 1: put that topic there. Okay, Nope, that's a topic. Oh
Speaker 1: I want to I want to rant about gender reveal parties.
Speaker 1: Um oh, call us small? What are you what are
Speaker 1: you reading? Oh no, that's I can't read that. These
Speaker 1: aren't jokes on on what did you do your stack?
Speaker 1: Oh we were talking about this ship. We were going
Speaker 1: on and uh, Elvis kept saying she's beautiful. It's a
Speaker 1: beautiful ship. I said, hey, what if Encore identifies as
Speaker 1: a man you don't know ynt onto that joke? Um, oh,
Speaker 1: Leslie Odom Jr. He was in Hamilton's. We had him
Speaker 1: up on the show a couple of weeks ago. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you may know to him from the Nationwide commercial. He
Speaker 1: sings the Nationwide is on your Side jingle? Right, and
Speaker 1: Elvis was saying, you could with that voice, you can
Speaker 1: endorse anything. So I so the joke was you could
Speaker 1: even you could even endorse tampons. So after he said that,
Speaker 1: because I said, Elvis, having I wrote the jingle, I
Speaker 1: said have him sing this, which was our tampons are
Speaker 1: on your inside, And he said, we can't do that's offensive. Um,
Speaker 1: there's a serial at Scottie b Broad and Scotty the
Speaker 1: host of Serial Killers podcast. There's a serial called colon Cereal. Right,
Speaker 1: it's so much fiber it cleans you out. So my
Speaker 1: joke was from the makers of leather cheerios. Now, if
Speaker 1: you don't don't know the leather cheerio as you can
Speaker 1: google it's a butt hole. It's a leather cheerios right. Uh, Scary,
Speaker 1: I forget what the joke, what the setup was. Um,
Speaker 1: but we I made us. I wrote a sloth joke
Speaker 1: and Scary said something that was perfect. Uh, that the
Speaker 1: joke attached to him. It was great and I and
Speaker 1: the joke was Scary. You walked slowly right into that
Speaker 1: joke because you walk slowly. Um oh will Smith. Will
Speaker 1: Smith said he was talking about how we got a
Speaker 1: call on oscoping as that's why his new song is
Speaker 1: getting ikey with it. I didn't do that one all right.
Speaker 1: Um oh uh, Scary, you talked about how you like
Speaker 1: to pick up hot girls. It's a great place to
Speaker 1: pick up women at a funeral, right. Yes. If I said, oh,
Speaker 1: the dead person gets to meet the Lord and you
Speaker 1: get to meet your next sex partner, we didn't get
Speaker 1: to that. Uh. We were talking. We were talking about
Speaker 1: being two PC. We're talking about being too politically correct.
Speaker 1: It was around Halloween. This how long this joke? And
Speaker 1: I said, oh, does that mean black cats and our
Speaker 1: African American cats? Oh, we're talking about Siamese cats. Siamese
Speaker 1: twins don't want to be called Siamese twins anymore. They don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know's have a negative connoting.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess they're not attached to that
Speaker 1: word anymore. Okay, well, isn't it. There also is a
Speaker 1: in the one of the Disney movies the same means,
Speaker 1: Pat say Jack. They edited it out, edited out. I
Speaker 1: did not hear that. I don't think that's a fact.
Speaker 1: Pat's say Jack was in the hospital a couple weeks ago. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's not too soon, and he had some surgery done
Speaker 1: on his ass. True story. I said, Oh, he needs
Speaker 1: to buy a bowl that's great host a wheel of fortune.
Speaker 1: Um oh t I T I said he likes to
Speaker 1: go to the gynecologist to check his daughter's vagina to
Speaker 1: make sure she's still a virgin. So I said, the
Speaker 1: only t I that the GINO should be uh seeing
Speaker 1: is a U T I. You're an attract infection. Oh.
Speaker 1: Somebody called and they said they were gonna go see
Speaker 1: Sesame Street Live, and I said I wouldn't waste my money.
Speaker 1: I hear Elmo lip syncs because he's a puppet. True. Um,
Speaker 1: I don't remember what we were talking about. I just
Speaker 1: have anal sex not very often, uh, on a line.
Speaker 1: And then I guess there was some kind of joke
Speaker 1: about anal sex and a basket of something. Somebody sitting
Speaker 1: up and I wrote, famous anis cookie basket, But I
Speaker 1: don't know what that was. Um, that's just funny on
Speaker 1: its own. It doesn't need a set up, right. So
Speaker 1: Elvis said, we're talking about, um black and white something.
Speaker 1: Elvis said, do I have a black and white butth hole?
Speaker 1: And I said, I don't know, scary what colors your nose?
Speaker 1: We didn't get to that. Oh. Elvis was talking about
Speaker 1: how healthy nuts are nuts so very healthy? So I said,
Speaker 1: is that why your chin looks so good? He didn't
Speaker 1: want to do that joke. Um. Oh. Elvis said, Whitney
Speaker 1: Houston was bisexual when she was younger, and I said,
Speaker 1: that's why she sang she wants to answered somebody. She
Speaker 1: wasn't specific as do not really a joke, more an observation.
Speaker 1: We didn't get to that. Um oh uh. We were
Speaker 1: talking about prison cosmetics, things that the the inmates make
Speaker 1: out of whatever they have, ketchup, lipstick, whatever they use
Speaker 1: in there that dayrect and they were playing the sound
Speaker 1: of some woman who's in jail. She has a YouTube
Speaker 1: page maybe and she makes a prison cosmetics. I said, well,
Speaker 1: my recommendation is to avoid the prison bath bomb. We
Speaker 1: didn't get to that. Uhh Um. Elvis was talking about
Speaker 1: how peacocks are beautiful but they're dangerous, and he said
Speaker 1: you should stay away from peacocks, and my joke was, yeah,
Speaker 1: Elvis is to stay away from peacocks, but he loves
Speaker 1: a good cocker. Two. We didn't get to that. Um.
Speaker 1: What was this one was something to do with McDonald's.
Speaker 1: Was there a prostitution thing? All I wrote was I
Speaker 1: got a mc haappy ending, So there was something to do.
Speaker 1: There was a joke about something to do it. So
Speaker 1: it was that long ago? Yeah, um oh oh uh
Speaker 1: this was this? This is my Favorite'm gonna say this one. Um,
Speaker 1: penis soccer? What was penis soccer? I don't know. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's uh Daniel Brodie. Some of these are really all
Speaker 1: these like two months old, these jokes. Oh it something
Speaker 1: about he doesn't like soccer or something like that. They's
Speaker 1: something about Penis and then I, you know, they call
Speaker 1: soccer football every worlds in the world, And I said,
Speaker 1: almost doesn't like soccer he likes. He likes half a
Speaker 1: foot ball something like that was Penis joke. But I'm
Speaker 1: gonna set up. Um oh, I made a joke. Gandhi
Speaker 1: said her her Christmas trees already up, and I said, oh,
Speaker 1: that's funny. My minot's already lit as a Jewish joke.
Speaker 1: Nobody got it. Um oh. We were talking about how
Speaker 1: Disney did we do this on the air. They've done
Speaker 1: a many but I like him enough, I'm gonna read anyway.
Speaker 1: Disney has a warning now in front of their movies
Speaker 1: on Disney. Plus, Hey, these movies are filmed a long
Speaker 1: time ago. Some of the content was okay at the time,
Speaker 1: but maybe considered offensive now, Like, yeah, they're changing some
Speaker 1: of the names. The Siamese Twins song, isn't that my film? Right? So?
Speaker 1: I think we may have read these on the air,
Speaker 1: but I like him so much. We read him here.
Speaker 1: I wrote, the Lion King is now the Lion king
Speaker 1: or queen whoever they identify. We're not sure. Yeah we
Speaker 1: did these on the air, right, Beauty and the less
Speaker 1: than traditional looking Man because you don't want to call
Speaker 1: my beast and Snowflake white and the seven Little People
Speaker 1: you can't call him dwarves. Um and then uh oh um,
Speaker 1: you know what addictick is. Isn't that a bird? No,
Speaker 1: addictic is like a it looks like a little it
Speaker 1: looks like a deer, and uh some other kind of animals.
Speaker 1: They're only even like Australia, right, and so so then
Speaker 1: Daniel goes, what do you call a small dicktic? And
Speaker 1: I said, Nate, I said, I made that joke. That's
Speaker 1: how long ago. That was too soon? Yeah, too soon? Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's and I understand it's not get it. And
Speaker 1: then Elvis said, I don't like man buns he's talking about.
Speaker 1: I don't like man buns. I said, no, but you
Speaker 1: do like man buns. Say like man buns. He likes
Speaker 1: man ones. That sounds like it's welcome. You've got the
Speaker 1: text message we got? He said, I love that phone tap.
Speaker 1: I'm literally laughing. Which phone tap doesn't matter. He's literally laughing.
Speaker 1: It's called laughing. You can always email us at the
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys podcast at gmail dot com. I just don't
Speaker 1: you should know him A slice Feel life. Currently re
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast from zero a second time, Love It,
Speaker 1: love you, and yes, I have an all email account
Speaker 1: and also so fuck you. I was watching a show
Speaker 1: called Atypical on Netflix about a boy with some type
Speaker 1: of autism or living with autism. Turns out that Michael
Speaker 1: Rabbitport is one of the main characters. I desperately wanted
Speaker 1: him to go off and say fuck you, you fuck
Speaker 1: but I haven't heard it yet. He doesn't say it's
Speaker 1: it's you, fuck you, you fuck you. The Michael ra
Speaker 1: Report episode is my favorite episode from the Brooklyn Boys.
Speaker 1: Just do It, I would share, eagerly waiting the next show.
Speaker 1: Thank You f r D see at a o L
Speaker 1: dot com carried Jordy says hey free ship for me.
Speaker 1: I jokingly told my friends I was gonna send Red
Speaker 1: Bull a thank you card for getting me through college.
Speaker 1: For a year and a half, I worked the third
Speaker 1: shift bar, attended and kept up at three point oh
Speaker 1: g p a while taking a full semester of classes.
Speaker 1: Recently graduated from Northern Illinois University, and remember to send
Speaker 1: my thank you to Red Bull. After an exchange of email,
Speaker 1: Red Bullocks asked for my address. About a week later,
Speaker 1: I received a handwritten note from Red Bull headquarters and
Speaker 1: two free cans of original Red Bull. It was unexpected
Speaker 1: yet so appreciated. Just thought I would share with you guys.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys. So she got free ship just for
Speaker 1: complimenting Red Bull. Isn't that nice? So she wasn't even
Speaker 1: asking for free dessert, but she got it nice? Okay.
Speaker 1: Finally Ken's stomach, it says Joey P wanted to thank
Speaker 1: you guys for a great podcast. Brodie has me laughing
Speaker 1: pretty hard most days. Scary is truly a city boy.
Speaker 1: I think this is why the two of you work
Speaker 1: so well together. Brodie made it a point to bring you.
Speaker 1: Brodie makes it a point to bring you back to
Speaker 1: reality where most of us are. I have to admit
Speaker 1: the Jersey kid forgot his name. Don't tweet me. Maybe
Speaker 1: impossible for me to listen to the fifteen minute morning
Speaker 1: show podcast? Which is that other podcast we do? Um.
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's a great guy, he's just not great
Speaker 1: at leading us, leading a talk show or a podcast.
Speaker 1: The two of you guys make it work together perfectly though.
Speaker 1: Trying to listen in order, but my heart makes it impossible.
Speaker 1: On Android, Yeah, we're working on that. Keeping the last coming,
Speaker 1: Making you guys make my long nights on the road
Speaker 1: fly by ps. Scary upstate is not everything north of
Speaker 1: the city, Western, central, eastern or capital region of Northern
Speaker 1: New York. Brodie, we have Shabagel's up here by the ways,
Speaker 1: Thank you Bagels, Joey p Oh speaking of s Bagels.
Speaker 1: So we were why one hundred in Miami right at
Speaker 1: the WAGO station, and after our show, they had a meeting.
Speaker 1: So the meeting that catered in bagels and orange juice.
Speaker 1: And I went over and I looked and Scary was
Speaker 1: like ten ft behind me. I was trying to went,
Speaker 1: don't bother bagels? What would do? Asks Elizabeth A Uh, Brody,
Speaker 1: what would you do? I ordered uh and got installed
Speaker 1: a new garage door. Cost me two grand installed the door,
Speaker 1: but they didn't have the correct hinges. Of course, I
Speaker 1: they fuck you on the hinges every time. They waiting
Speaker 1: on them to get the parts and finished my door
Speaker 1: for about a month. Haven't charged me for the door
Speaker 1: yet until it's complete. But we're still upset. We've been
Speaker 1: waiting this long. I want my free dessert. Feedback is appreciated,
Speaker 1: Thank you, Liz. I'm saying if it was a big
Speaker 1: inconvenience to you, like it was no big deal, but
Speaker 1: if the door doesn't open and you're manually lifting. It
Speaker 1: depends on how much you're you're being put out. I
Speaker 1: would think four to five hundred dollars off a four
Speaker 1: office fair alright because of two grand. Yeah, so I
Speaker 1: would say four hundred dollars back for your trouble, because
Speaker 1: you paid for what you paid for when it was
Speaker 1: supposed to be put in if they funked up on
Speaker 1: the hinges. And by the way, you know, my mother
Speaker 1: always used to say, David, they always fun the hinges. Yeah, always,
Speaker 1: they always do. Kristen Mara Klein, thank you for checking in.
Speaker 1: She's a new listener Slice for Life. Also another one,
Speaker 1: Jamie Fazzina. Jamie Fazzina, she's a media specialist. I wanted
Speaker 1: to know how much I love she likes dating and
Speaker 1: she likes walks in the park. Well, she's up to
Speaker 1: episode twenty two right now. Oh man, But I have
Speaker 1: to tell you episode twenty one, when you guys talked
Speaker 1: about anchovies on the Greek salad and cracked me the
Speaker 1: hell up? Uh, And then the Ben's in her song
Speaker 1: on episode twenty two was fantastic, so funny. I can
Speaker 1: relate to everything you guys say I grew up on
Speaker 1: six and eleventh Avenue by Ridge, right right there, and
Speaker 1: that's started by Rich. Yeah. Moved to Staten Island, now
Speaker 1: live in Jersey. I'm exactly Scary's age, which is forty
Speaker 1: five years Is that true? Found out everything you guys
Speaker 1: is so relatable, especially talking about Christmas, Eve and sushi.
Speaker 1: I love it because my family doesn't do the whole
Speaker 1: fish thing anymore. Kind of said, if you think about it.
Speaker 1: I I do listen to the newest podcasts in between
Speaker 1: catching up on the old ones. Is that okay? Is
Speaker 1: that okay to catch up in between? I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: I got some I got something. When you're done, all right,
Speaker 1: ye take it up, take it away? Uh d M
Speaker 1: from Thomas va Levin. Hey man, just listen to the
Speaker 1: fifteen minute Morning Show and that turtleneck and the bone
Speaker 1: a Lisa joke absolutely killed me. I'll explain those in
Speaker 1: a minute. Have you thought about doing stand up? I
Speaker 1: know you kill it at improv, but if you wrote
Speaker 1: a solid thirty Netflix would easily give you a special.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite comedians well, as I explained it,
Speaker 1: Thomas doing what we do here and being quick witted.
Speaker 1: Uh and good at improv really doesn't translate to stand up.
Speaker 1: As I told him, doing stand up involves writing material,
Speaker 1: rehearsing it, beating it to death, and in basic repeating
Speaker 1: the same thing over and over again, night after night.
Speaker 1: Like you're in a play, right you have to you
Speaker 1: have to tell stories and have punch lines and anecdotes
Speaker 1: and then callbacks. And it's an art form which I
Speaker 1: greatly admire and respect, and you have to perform at
Speaker 1: night and tour and play dives and club listen. It's difficult,
Speaker 1: but it's not like, oh, he's funny, she do stand up?
Speaker 1: Stand up is not being funny. You have to be funny,
Speaker 1: but also not how to craft everything is structure a joke.
Speaker 1: There's a lot more to go into it. Not that
Speaker 1: I couldn't do it eventually, but it's a lot of work.
Speaker 1: I don't have the time, but I appreciate the compliment.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure Netflix would give me a special but
Speaker 1: I love that. Jamie Fezzina did you read Jamie? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Uh oh, she's the new listener. She's listening to twenty.
Speaker 1: She likes all the stuff that we've been doing well.
Speaker 1: She wrote slightly different words when she tweeted me. She said, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm a new listen to the Book of Boys podcast
Speaker 1: and just want to say how much I love you both.
Speaker 1: I listened to The Big Show forever, but just now
Speaker 1: became a listen to the podcast. I can relate to
Speaker 1: just about everything. She rewrote. She re wrote, re wrote it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's my boarding past. You don't need to hear me
Speaker 1: read that. Um s o s Underscore forty eight commenting
Speaker 1: on the picture of the fruit that Norwegian Cruise Line
Speaker 1: put in my room? Did they put that healthy train
Speaker 1: in your room to kill you? Should have been an
Speaker 1: l and be slice and di cocon the ice one
Speaker 1: where love that? I got a couple of free desert Oh.
Speaker 1: Jordans s j s K zero eight four tweeted do
Speaker 1: you see the irony and it looks like it's a
Speaker 1: pop up ad for Tom's Pizza Palm's Pizza and it
Speaker 1: says after your workout, check us out at Tom's Pizza
Speaker 1: and Restaurant for a Greek chicken salad. Oh that is irony.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to Tom's Pizza for a Greek chicken salad.
Speaker 1: You got to have a pizza hilarious. Uh oh I
Speaker 1: took a picture from my my diplomat might stay at
Speaker 1: the diplomat hotel, and uh dave zz I eat the
Speaker 1: de Vezi one to three says they gave you far water.
Speaker 1: Love that, um. And then Claude deine Zell says, and
Speaker 1: he Parsley and those mixed nuts. So I said, of
Speaker 1: course no, so I love that they're playing along, um.
Speaker 1: And I A bunch of people asked, is where we
Speaker 1: ate dinner in Jersey City? Was Matthews right? Matthews food
Speaker 1: and drink right? And then I give you one more
Speaker 1: of course. Chris harcl Road Uh Free Desert Story bought
Speaker 1: a four count package of Whitecastle Breakfast sliders. Found out
Speaker 1: it was two weeks past the cell date and I
Speaker 1: was missing a cheese slice. I called customer service. They
Speaker 1: mailed me a dollar and a four dollar off coupon
Speaker 1: Thank you Brooklyn Boys, David Brody, Scary Jones Slice for
Speaker 1: Life they got. I got a letter apologizing from Taco Bell.
Speaker 1: Never would have done it had they not called. Lastly,
Speaker 1: Cavaric one oh one oh one. Can you please bring
Speaker 1: Mama Brody on more? I love her, I wrote back
Speaker 1: me too, I will as soon as she's available, we'll
Speaker 1: have her on, but she you know, Mama Brody, she's
Speaker 1: igon me to come on. But we haven't been hating
Speaker 1: when she's available anyway, and this is the reason why
Speaker 1: we do our podcast. We got something from Andy Bowser
Speaker 1: to our Facebook fan page, which we do have one
Speaker 1: at the Brooklyn Boys. On Facebook fan page yep at
Speaker 1: it's our Own, It's our Own, on Instagram and on
Speaker 1: Twitter at the Brooklyn Boys. He wrote, Hey, guys, how's
Speaker 1: it going. I just want to say I'm twenty seven
Speaker 1: and lately I've been going through a lot. I'm a
Speaker 1: gang member due to some bad stuff involving me and
Speaker 1: my brother and my childhood altogether, being bullied and whatnot.
Speaker 1: I just want to say, even though you might not
Speaker 1: read this email on the podcast, but I am You
Speaker 1: guys are amazing and make my whole day. Whenever I
Speaker 1: hear y'all makes me think about how great people can
Speaker 1: be and how much good people can do for others.
Speaker 1: I have four kids, so I'm not an active gang member,
Speaker 1: and because of you too, I feel like there's something
Speaker 1: better in life then being well a piece of ship.
Speaker 1: But even though this probably won't be read on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I wanted y'all to know you're amazing. I hope your
Speaker 1: podcast last forever because it gives me the greatest feeling
Speaker 1: in the world. And you two are amazing. Wow, it's
Speaker 1: pretty heavy. That's that's that that is that's crazy, man,
Speaker 1: that's awesome. Thank you so much. I you know, and
Speaker 1: and and and I know I listen. I know a
Speaker 1: lot of you are like, hey, how do I get
Speaker 1: my email read on here? We get simply right. I
Speaker 1: know you're not going to read this on the just
Speaker 1: like that. No, no, no, but I did want to
Speaker 1: just that is great. But also we see you, Alex Crump,
Speaker 1: thanks for your email. We have some free dessert stories.
Speaker 1: Kevin Kozlowski always contributes. I see you, Jessica Morgan, shout
Speaker 1: out to you, Stephen or Bach or Bak. We just
Speaker 1: don't have enough time to read all this. Some of
Speaker 1: them are free dessert stories. Others are just just very complimentary.
Speaker 1: Thanks for thank you for all the love. And and
Speaker 1: by the way, speaking of the love um more love topic.
Speaker 1: We want to what we want to be. This is
Speaker 1: just a public thing. If you're on iTunes, send us
Speaker 1: a review, put a review on there. If you can
Speaker 1: any Spotify anywhere there's a review. I hear doesn't have review,
Speaker 1: but give us a thumbs up Spotify. We're on Spotify.
Speaker 1: We need to make some We want to get on
Speaker 1: Spotify's top charts. We want to get on Pandora's top charts.
Speaker 1: Everywhere on all these platforms. But we're not in the
Speaker 1: top anything of any of the platforms except for I
Speaker 1: Heart and we need that, and we need you to
Speaker 1: spread the word. We we are approaching. We are approaching
Speaker 1: getting clients that might be able to help a sponsor
Speaker 1: T shirts and we might be able to sell that
Speaker 1: monopoly game. We're trying to figure this out before the
Speaker 1: early next year. I did want to read Rudy Marino, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy,
Speaker 1: Ruddy drives a truck. Uh, he wrote, UH, love you both.
Speaker 1: Twenty days without a day off, and You're the only
Speaker 1: thing I listened to in the truck, my Brooklyn boys
Speaker 1: getting me through the day. Got home today, put the
Speaker 1: news on mute, and continue to listen to episode sixty
Speaker 1: four even though I've heard it three times. That's dedication.
Speaker 1: And then he said, I I don't know. I said,
Speaker 1: why do you why do you like sixty four? What's
Speaker 1: the special about sixty four? He said, I don't know.
Speaker 1: They're all great. I love the banter, the topics. You
Speaker 1: and Scary make a great team. One other thing, thanks
Speaker 1: for nixing the birthdays. I don't fucking care if it's
Speaker 1: your birthday, you and a million other people have the
Speaker 1: same birthday. There you go. So I wanted to just
Speaker 1: read Rudy's um. Well, well, the birthday thing was intended
Speaker 1: to be a shout out for people that like, like,
Speaker 1: like hardcore slices, But we do that. We read their
Speaker 1: emails and their tweets, and I wish we could do
Speaker 1: something for Slice for life's birthdays. We gotta have everybody,
Speaker 1: but we gotta have something. We gotta have gotta have
Speaker 1: so I don't have to mention it. We don't have
Speaker 1: to mention it on the podcast. When we first started,
Speaker 1: we were just kind of finding our way. But we
Speaker 1: should do something. Yeah, he's what we'll do. We'll do
Speaker 1: an episode next week because I feel bad we didn't
Speaker 1: get a chance to send you in visible T shirt.
Speaker 1: Visible T shirts. You know what, the guy with the
Speaker 1: four kids you just read an email, Send him in
Speaker 1: a visible T shirt. Will ruin it. I want to
Speaker 1: get out of here on a high note. Uh, just
Speaker 1: a quick little rant because I know you'll agree with me.
Speaker 1: I don't know if this ever happened to you. All Right,
Speaker 1: this is it, and then we're gonna go, and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I had to take all right. I had to
Speaker 1: take it uber to the airport from my hotel. It's
Speaker 1: about a half hour ride to Miami International Airport. So
Speaker 1: you gotta take ninety five. You get a ninety five.
Speaker 1: It's the main road. There's always traffic, but there wasn't
Speaker 1: traffic on Sunday when I was going. The woman didn't
Speaker 1: speak any English. Very little English. Not a problem. She
Speaker 1: speaks Spanish. She said to me. Uh, And I said, Umi, poco. Oh,
Speaker 1: she's got very excited, like m bom poco a little yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I said, MOI poco very little, very little. Right, listen,
Speaker 1: I speak a little Spanish. Poco means a little bit,
Speaker 1: but okay, but I said very little. That's correct, MOOI
Speaker 1: poco very little. Moss is more boys, hold on, moi
Speaker 1: poco is not is not a thing? No, no, it's
Speaker 1: un poco. She didn't correct me. Whatever, hold on with
Speaker 1: your story. I'm translating. Moi poco means very little, fuck you.
Speaker 1: I took Spanish in five years and worked in restaurants
Speaker 1: with MOI poco very little? Are you speakinglish? Very little?
Speaker 1: Moi poco? Thank you? Suck it? Then what's un poco?
Speaker 1: A little? Won is? Ah? Okay, all right, you don't
Speaker 1: speak Spanish. Put more in front of everything. Then moi mui.
Speaker 1: That means very moist, so very fun, very sun, very sunny,
Speaker 1: very hot, soul is the sun. Okay. So we're riding
Speaker 1: and there's no conversation because she doesn't speak right, and so,
Speaker 1: uh it's being English and I don't speak Spanish enough
Speaker 1: and uh. She gets off the parkway there's little bit
Speaker 1: of traffic and starts taking the streets and she's got
Speaker 1: the the Google maps. I guess she's using on her phone.
Speaker 1: That's the worst. It's clipped to the air conditioning event
Speaker 1: like the one that's INAPT, the INAPT thing. Maybe maybe
Speaker 1: that's I don't know what. It didn't look like Google,
Speaker 1: but no, it wasn't ways, it wasn't Google. It was
Speaker 1: whatever nav system. So all of the I'm not following
Speaker 1: along with the with what she's doing and and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, like this is a neighborhood is getting
Speaker 1: kind of bad. It's looking a little CD not ranked CD.
Speaker 1: And uh she she says to me, uh, um, uh,
Speaker 1: you have phone? See and she says, uh, that means
Speaker 1: I have a phone. Scary, And so I said yes,
Speaker 1: she was could uh could you could you google map?
Speaker 1: You google map? I see see your tank and she was, uh,
Speaker 1: my name and my system. No, good, right, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do in the accent because that's what And I'm trying
Speaker 1: to convey that she didn't write, okay, I said, what
Speaker 1: do you mean? Don't ever come down on me for
Speaker 1: doing an accent again? Thank you? Continue. That's exactly how
Speaker 1: she sounded. I'm trying to explain, so so she want
Speaker 1: so she just my navigation is basically said, my navigation
Speaker 1: is not working. It was all over the plate. It
Speaker 1: was going sideways crooked. Because can you can you put
Speaker 1: on your nap system? Basically what she says, you can
Speaker 1: put Google maps? I go what she wanted you to do?
Speaker 1: Some work? She says, I I'm I didn't getting lost lost?
Speaker 1: Why did you get off the park way? If you're lost,
Speaker 1: you're an Uber driver. You have one job. Get me
Speaker 1: to the airport. I didn't say, get me to like
Speaker 1: Mike's bagel shop. I asked, gave me to the international airport.
Speaker 1: You're cast. You go to the airport automatically, but you
Speaker 1: got off and you start making turns by flat fixed
Speaker 1: shops and skanky looking liquor stores out of where we
Speaker 1: were right. Okay, So I'm like this, why I'm paying
Speaker 1: for this? So I put my phone on. By the way,
Speaker 1: I got a message on my phone an hour earlier.
Speaker 1: Eisen says, you've used data for the month, which I
Speaker 1: know is my kids. But I'm like, fuck now, I
Speaker 1: gotta turn my data on and my location services so
Speaker 1: I can use Google Maps. So I'm in the back
Speaker 1: with Horror and she goes, Okay, where do I go?
Speaker 1: So I go, dus kay a in that direction, and
Speaker 1: I go she's making a left. I'm speaking in her language.
Speaker 1: She's still making wrong turns. She had a back out
Speaker 1: of the street because she made in this Canada instead
Speaker 1: of a direction. Okay, so not even in Spanish. She's
Speaker 1: going the wrong way. So I see she's going um
Speaker 1: south and we had to go north. So I make
Speaker 1: her turn around, and then I tell her to turn.
Speaker 1: I say, turn on on on on first Avenue. Right.
Speaker 1: She turns on second Avenue and then can't make the
Speaker 1: turn to get on the parkway. So now I have
Speaker 1: to I'm recalculating, and I go, I go. So I
Speaker 1: get her back on the parkway finally, and and she goes. Uh.
Speaker 1: I said, now you're on now all the side and
Speaker 1: say Miami International Lamport. Right, the road is splitting to
Speaker 1: the left a giant sign. Even if you didn't speak English,
Speaker 1: it says Miami, which in Spanish is still Miami. Right
Speaker 1: with a giant white plane on the side. Right, Miami
Speaker 1: aeroplane right, okay, on the left, um and on the
Speaker 1: right sign where the road splits, it says a bunch
Speaker 1: of words, a bunch of towns and cities. Guess what.
Speaker 1: None of them said airport, and none of them had
Speaker 1: a plane on them. I assume as an uber driver, right, okay, uh,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say. I don't even
Speaker 1: have to pronounce her name. I assumed the lady knows
Speaker 1: airport signs. Right with the airplane picture, you know how
Speaker 1: you say you know you know what an airplane picture is?
Speaker 1: In Spanish? An airplane picture. So at the last minute,
Speaker 1: she's going at the middle, at the middle, at the divider,
Speaker 1: and she's going which way? So I look up, I
Speaker 1: go it's Gerada. Okay, that go? It was the crazy Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, but Brodie, there's a language barrier there. There's
Speaker 1: a like Miami Airport logo. I don't know what do
Speaker 1: you want to say? I know I she probably doesn't part. No. Look,
Speaker 1: she was a sweet woman. I gave it five stars
Speaker 1: and gave her a nice tip. My point is, why
Speaker 1: why am I using my data? I'm paying you for
Speaker 1: the er? Do I get a discount? Did I get off?
Speaker 1: I'm giving a direct It's like the guy who wanted
Speaker 1: me to pack my own food. You didn't want to
Speaker 1: pack your own food. I didn't. Would you want to
Speaker 1: go into ouper? And I have to give the directions
Speaker 1: and use your data? And I don't have a limited
Speaker 1: data before you like it's a long story, A long story.
Speaker 1: You stressed me out going into the holiday weekend. Moy
Speaker 1: Poco by Poco hit the jingle and I'll say adios.
Speaker 1: You can't win. The boys roll back home with the
Speaker 1: family to Benji in Hurst, Brooklyn. Happy, Thanks, good boys.
Speaker 1: From Brooklyn, Brooklyn Boys Rock Brooklyn,