1 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: Hello everybody. I'm Jemma Spake and welcome back to the 2 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 1: Psychology of Your Twenties, the podcast where we talk through 3 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: the biggest changes, moments, and transitions of our twenties and 4 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: what they mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back 5 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,520 Speaker 1: to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. It is 6 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: so great to have you here back for another episode 7 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: as we of course break down the psychology of our twenties. Today, 8 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:41,600 Speaker 1: I have something really fun and scientific for you guys. 9 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:45,239 Speaker 1: So if your favorite episodes of the podcast and when 10 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:49,880 Speaker 1: we kind of go deep into concepts and deep into research, 11 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:54,120 Speaker 1: you are going to love today's topic. And even if 12 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: you don't, I still think this is one of those 13 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,320 Speaker 1: ones you should definitely listen to because it will tell 14 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: you all much about how you operate, your behaviors, your 15 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:07,479 Speaker 1: decision making while you make decisions that you don't always 16 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 1: actually want to make rationally, because today we are talking 17 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: about the conscious versus unconscious mind and the role each 18 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: of them plays in our lives and why we kind 19 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 1: of again yeah, make decisions that feel bizarre and hard 20 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:28,320 Speaker 1: to justify while we have these reactions that come out 21 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:33,440 Speaker 1: of nowhere, and yet we still keep doing them, and 22 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: we can't quite figure out how to change. This is 23 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: the unconscious mind. This is the part of our existence 24 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: and how we interpret the world. We're going to really 25 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: drill into today. The idea that there are parts of 26 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: us operating outside of our deliberate rational control is not 27 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: a new idea. What's just changed over time and over 28 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,559 Speaker 1: the years is how we explain it. And we cannot 29 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 1: talk about the unconscious versus conscious mind without doing a 30 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,960 Speaker 1: little bit of a history lesson first. So long before 31 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: we had these words that I think we use so 32 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: often these days, unconscious, conscious, subconscious, A lot of brilliant 33 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: ancient thinkers were describing basically the same thing, this feeling 34 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:22,000 Speaker 1: that we as humans are split between what we know 35 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:26,639 Speaker 1: rationally and how we choose to behave emotionally. This goes 36 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: like all the way back to like Plato and Aristotle 37 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: and Spinosa, who basically distinguished between what they called intuitive 38 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: passions or appetites and then on the other hand, deliberate reason. Plato, 39 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:45,360 Speaker 1: for example, I like this metaphor. He described the human 40 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,840 Speaker 1: soul as having three parts, and he kind of described 41 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: it as if we are sitting behind a chariot and 42 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 1: the chariot represents us and represents our reason, and we 43 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,520 Speaker 1: think we're the ones that are guiding it, but really 44 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 1: what's guiding the chariot are these two horses were guided 45 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 1: by these two in his mind, two winged horses. One 46 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 1: represented nobility. It represented our emotional and social knowledge and 47 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 1: our desire to be good and to be reasonable and rational. 48 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: And then the other horse represented like our wild side 49 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: like it represented our desire and the appetite of like 50 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:27,399 Speaker 1: the unbounded parts of the soul. That is a very 51 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 1: early representation of how we might now view our rational mind, 52 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: and how we might also view our impulses and emotions 53 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: or our I guess beliefs, or our social behavior, each 54 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 1: of them leading us in different directions. If this sounds 55 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:51,520 Speaker 1: familiar to Freud's idea of the ego and the super 56 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: ego and the id, it's because it is. Freud took 57 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:58,480 Speaker 1: a lot of his ideas from Plato and some of 58 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 1: these ancient thinkers. He is obviously one of the most 59 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: famous psychoanalysts of all time. And yeah, he based a 60 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: lot of his work and the foundation of a lot 61 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: of his theories on some of these metaphors, and he 62 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 1: kind of took those initial ideas and tried to format 63 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:20,839 Speaker 1: them or flashed them out even more. And in his mind, 64 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:25,000 Speaker 1: the mind is divided into three parts, the conscious mind. 65 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: So what you're aware of right now, you know, I'm 66 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,120 Speaker 1: sitting in this room, I'm looking around, There's a microphone 67 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:32,840 Speaker 1: in front of me. I'm recording my podcast. My pre 68 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:37,159 Speaker 1: conscious mind things that are kind of just sitting below that. 69 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:40,040 Speaker 1: I want to talk about, where this idea is going, 70 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 1: what I have to do next, how my mood is 71 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 1: being impacted by things that happened earlier this morning, and 72 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:52,159 Speaker 1: then the unconscious mind material that to him is kept 73 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 1: out of awareness but is still influencing you. So you 74 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,680 Speaker 1: may have seen this, especially in like psych one oh 75 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:03,360 Speaker 1: one classes, represented as an Iceberg. That's a pretty classic 76 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: way of representing it. I still remember having that Iceberg 77 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 1: diagram in my psyche textbooks. But all of these things, 78 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: the conscious, subconscious or pre conscious and unconscious or kind 79 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,919 Speaker 1: of work together to form the person that we know 80 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:23,920 Speaker 1: as ourselves. One thing Freud really emphasized though, was the 81 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 1: role of dreams in being able to basically understand what 82 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: the unconscious mind is doing below the surface. So in 83 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 1: his mind, like we could never directly know what's happening 84 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 1: happening unconsciously in our mind. He basically said that dreams 85 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,960 Speaker 1: are one of the only ways of really being able 86 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 1: to understand what's going on. He wrote a whole book 87 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,920 Speaker 1: about it. It's literally called The Interpretation of Dreams. He 88 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:55,599 Speaker 1: also claimed that you know, our dreams fulfilled our unconscious wishes. 89 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,640 Speaker 1: So like, if you want to be famous, your dream 90 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:02,279 Speaker 1: may your dreams may reveal to you how you should 91 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 1: do that. Or you know, if you feel guilty, your 92 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:10,720 Speaker 1: dreams may reveal to you how you're not or how 93 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: you should forgive yourself. He also says they reveal what 94 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,359 Speaker 1: we desire most and what we fear the most. Some 95 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 1: other ways that he said we could get in touch 96 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 1: with the unconscious mind were the famous Freudian slip artwork 97 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: repressed memories. These days, we know that's all probably less 98 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: than accurate. There may be some slight truth to it, 99 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:37,960 Speaker 1: some slight truth to our dreams kind of working out 100 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,360 Speaker 1: some deep emotional wounds. But Freud did get a lot 101 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 1: of stuff wrong. I think he did the best that 102 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,160 Speaker 1: he could with what he had. But he's still a 103 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 1: controversial figure. And this is a great place to kind 104 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:51,160 Speaker 1: of shift gears and talk about what we know about 105 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 1: the unconscious and conscious mind now in the modern day, 106 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,279 Speaker 1: with a bit more technology, with a bit more scientific 107 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:03,479 Speaker 1: experimental practic going on. Pretty simply, the conscious mind, in 108 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:08,120 Speaker 1: psychological terms, is the set of mental processes that you 109 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 1: can deliberately direct, what you can hold in awareness, what 110 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 1: you can reason about, what you can talk about, what 111 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 1: you can see. The big thing about the conscious mind, sorry, 112 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 1: is that it's relatively slow. It's very intentional effortful. It's 113 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 1: kind of limited in its capacity as well. So for example, 114 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: you can't you really can't juggle more than a couple 115 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: of things in your conscious mind at any one time. 116 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 1: It's why we're bad at multitasking. It's why we get 117 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 1: mentally overwhelmed. It's why you say things automatically you don't 118 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: really mean when a lot's going on around you. I 119 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: like to think of your conscious mind as like the spokesperson. 120 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: It is the person that, like the company puts in 121 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,840 Speaker 1: front of the cameras, who is like reading off the 122 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 1: script that the unconscious mind has given it. Or it's 123 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 1: kind of more like it's putting together a speech from 124 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 1: a bunch of dot points that the end conscious mind 125 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 1: has given it. It has some decision making powers, It 126 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: directs a small amount of information. It definitely applies a 127 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 1: lot of reason, and it interprets the small things that 128 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 1: the unconscious mind gives it. But beyond like directing impulses 129 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 1: and directing things around you, it also doesn't completely Your 130 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 1: conscious mind cannot be aware of absolutely everything. It's just 131 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: responsible for constructing the story of who you are based 132 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: on what it has access to. Just basically, it interprets 133 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: your human experience for you, but it doesn't always have 134 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:51,760 Speaker 1: a good grip on everything that's going on in kind 135 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,679 Speaker 1: of the back offices of the mind. Right again, think 136 00:08:54,679 --> 00:09:00,559 Speaker 1: off this spokesperson or CEO analogy. Let's use the ceo analogy. 137 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 1: The CEO may be upfront, but she is like nothing 138 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: without the staff whose jobs she can't possibly do or 139 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 1: by herself, and she can't possibly be aware of everything 140 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: that's going on in the back offices all the time. 141 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: That's the unconscious mind. The conscious mind is just the 142 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,920 Speaker 1: front man. There's a lot going on behind the scenes. 143 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: One key aspect that the unconscious mind is responsible for 144 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:26,840 Speaker 1: is rapid evaluation that our conscious mind just isn't quick 145 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,520 Speaker 1: enough for you know whether something is good or bad, 146 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:33,440 Speaker 1: whether something is safe or unsafe, whether to approach or avoid, 147 00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: how to react in a situation of danger. Before you 148 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: consciously decide how you feel about a situation, or even 149 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: about someone's tone, or their physicality or their presence, your 150 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:50,240 Speaker 1: body often already knows automatic evaluations. They are what help 151 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: us really move quickly in social and physical environments. You know, 152 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: for example, if you meet somebody and you instantly feel uneasy, 153 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,679 Speaker 1: but you can't explain why. That's your unconscious mind, Like 154 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:06,480 Speaker 1: your mind has picked up on subtle cues like microexpressions 155 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: or a mismatch between their words and their tone without 156 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 1: conscious awareness. It's like that feeling in your gut right interestingly, actually, 157 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: maybe not a surprising fact for many people, but women 158 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,839 Speaker 1: are better at this. Women are better at unconsciously picking 159 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 1: up on these microexpressions. It was a study in twenty 160 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:35,560 Speaker 1: twenty that basically gave participants a bunch of portraits of 161 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 1: people either with an authentic or an unauthentic, non authentic smile. 162 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 1: Women were picking up on that incredibly quickly and with 163 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: much higher accuracy. This is because your unconscious mind is 164 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: also responsible for always kind of having this idea of 165 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,359 Speaker 1: like what are we going to do next? Or action preparation, 166 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: i e. If this person is dangerous, it knows what 167 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: you're immediately gonna do before you even know about it. 168 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:11,720 Speaker 1: It's also responsible for associative learning, right that study right 169 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:15,040 Speaker 1: where these women could tell if people were inauthentic and 170 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 1: the smile was not to be trusted. Definitely, your unconscious 171 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 1: mind has picked up on times in the past where 172 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:25,079 Speaker 1: that's probably happened, where you've trusted somebody and they had 173 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,160 Speaker 1: a smile like that person and then they betrayed you, 174 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 1: or you've trusted somebody and they've had an authentic smile 175 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 1: like that person and they've ended up being a great friend. Really, 176 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,960 Speaker 1: it's this embodied reaction. We often label it as a 177 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: gut reaction that comes from all these past experiences, childhood hurt, 178 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 1: memories we've forgotten about that have lingered on in some 179 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:50,640 Speaker 1: form or another, often through automatic behaviors. And sometimes this 180 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:54,319 Speaker 1: is amazing, right, intuitive reactions are really helpful. Knowing how 181 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 1: to follow your intuition is an amazing human ability. But 182 00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:02,880 Speaker 1: other times this reaction can be really faulty. It can 183 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:07,320 Speaker 1: be encoded through bias and through fear so that you know, 184 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 1: we often do respond in weird self sabotaging ways or 185 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: in a way that we don't really want you because 186 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: our conscious mind didn't sign off on it. And that's 187 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: the final thing. The unconscious mind, or the theories say 188 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,520 Speaker 1: the unconscious mind is also really responsible for and plays 189 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:30,920 Speaker 1: a role in, is your habits and your context triggered behavior. 190 00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: Habits aren't just repeated actions, they are learnt links between 191 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 1: a q A response and a feeling. For example, choosing 192 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: to exercise or not. Yeah, your conscious mind might make 193 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,680 Speaker 1: the final decision, and you might think that you have 194 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 1: a say in whether you choose to exercise tonight or not. 195 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:56,319 Speaker 1: But behind the scenes are all these associations that are 196 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,320 Speaker 1: pushing you towards one decision or another, Like how you 197 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,239 Speaker 1: felt the last you exercised, your beliefs about people who exercise, 198 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,920 Speaker 1: that one time you were a kid and you were 199 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 1: picked last for the ball team, or you fell over, 200 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,320 Speaker 1: and now you forever resent exercise, and there's always this 201 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 1: like weird duck memory about it, even if you can't 202 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 1: consciously remember that happening. Another way we see this really 203 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:22,440 Speaker 1: interestingly is with a lot of our food choices, like 204 00:13:22,559 --> 00:13:25,720 Speaker 1: how we choose what we buy at the grocery store. 205 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 1: So why is it important to separate the conscious from 206 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:35,360 Speaker 1: the unconscious? What does that actually help us with behavior 207 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 1: behaviorally and emotionally and psychologically. We're going to talk about 208 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,120 Speaker 1: all of that and more and the important lessons we 209 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 1: can really take from unconscious impulses after the short break, 210 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: stay with us. So why can't we just lump our 211 00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,719 Speaker 1: conscious and our unconscious together and call it a day, 212 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 1: Like it's our mind, it just is what it is, Like, 213 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 1: why do we actually have to understand them separately. Well, 214 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 1: these habits we were talking about, right, those like repetitive 215 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: behaviors or things that we keep doing. That is why 216 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:18,560 Speaker 1: it's important to know what comes from your conscious goal 217 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 1: directed you, your higher self, and what comes from something deeper. 218 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 1: The quote I always use, I feel like I've been 219 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 1: quoting Carl Jung and lot in recent episodes, but this 220 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 1: quote is spectacular for what we're talking about today. Carl 221 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:38,720 Speaker 1: Jung one of the grandfathers of modern psychology. He said, 222 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,760 Speaker 1: until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, 223 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: and we will call it fate. And this is what 224 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,440 Speaker 1: we're talking about. I think a lot of us assume 225 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,600 Speaker 1: that we're pretty self aware as people, especially if like 226 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 1: you've done a lot of that deep emotional work or 227 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:59,040 Speaker 1: you've been in therapy, especially if you talk openly about 228 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 1: your feelings, you're like, yeah, kind I know myself, I 229 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,960 Speaker 1: know what's going on. But a lot of research says 230 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: that most of these behaviors and this knowledge is really 231 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 1: just scratching the surface. There was a pretty famous piece 232 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 1: of literature psychology, literature from the nineteen seventies where essentially 233 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: these researchers Nis Bitton Wilson realized that, wait, we really 234 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,960 Speaker 1: don't know why we make certain choices. We really don't 235 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 1: know what produces our judgments. And when we're asked to 236 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,760 Speaker 1: explain when we make certain decisions, often we'll just give 237 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,040 Speaker 1: an answer that sounds reasonable, even if that is not 238 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:41,640 Speaker 1: the true reason, just to kind of make our unconscious 239 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:45,480 Speaker 1: actions make sense. And this study, this study was like 240 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 1: fundamental in showing this. So essentially they put these participants 241 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 1: in a room or I don't know how they actually 242 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: did it, when it was one by one I think 243 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,560 Speaker 1: it was, and they put them in front of like 244 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: a clothing rack, and there were these series of clothing 245 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 1: items and they didn't have any tags on them, and 246 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 1: they just asked them to choose which item was the best. So, 247 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,560 Speaker 1: which item was the best, had the best quality? Which 248 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: one did they prefer the most? The thing was the 249 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:16,880 Speaker 1: items were almost identical, and most people chose the item 250 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: that was simply the furthest to the right. They just, 251 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,040 Speaker 1: for whatever reason, people kept going back to this one. 252 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,320 Speaker 1: They were all the same, this one at the very end, 253 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 1: and they would feel all these items. Whether it was 254 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 1: because it was the last item they felt because it 255 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,240 Speaker 1: was on the very end or the last item they saw, 256 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,880 Speaker 1: it didn't really matter. For some reason, they were all 257 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: choosing this particular piece. And when they were asked why 258 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 1: did you choose this item, participants never mentioned the positioning. 259 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 1: They never mentioned anything about that. They weren't even consciously 260 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 1: aware of it. Instead, they just gave these explanations like 261 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 1: this one had this very particular sense to it, or 262 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,200 Speaker 1: this very particular texture and I could tell it was better, 263 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,879 Speaker 1: or this one the fib account reminded me most of 264 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 1: like this Twitter I had as a kid that my 265 00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:12,800 Speaker 1: mum spent a lot of money on. Like they were 266 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,959 Speaker 1: just it wasn't that they were lying, It's just that 267 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:20,000 Speaker 1: there were these underlying unconscious processes that were impacting their 268 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,320 Speaker 1: choices that they didn't have access to, and yet their 269 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:29,159 Speaker 1: conscious mind had to justify it. And this is a 270 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 1: way that human behavior can be manipulated. That is one 271 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,880 Speaker 1: of the biggest reasons why we have to understand it. 272 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,199 Speaker 1: The group who know a lot about this and know 273 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 1: very well how do we manipulate these unconscious shortcuts or 274 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 1: choices are actually advertisers. And also this may surprise you. 275 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,960 Speaker 1: We talked about grocery stores before. The people who stock 276 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 1: your supermarket shelves, they know a lot about the unconscious mind. 277 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,720 Speaker 1: Did you know that most of our shopping decisions are 278 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:04,400 Speaker 1: based on placement alone. So the majority of us, if 279 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 1: we were given let's say, twenty options for like jam 280 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 1: or pasta or sauce or whatever, we're just gonna buy 281 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 1: what's like directly in our line of sight, like ninety 282 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: percent of the time. Yeah, like price and quality will 283 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: sometimes come into play, but big brands will literally pay 284 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 1: top dollar to buy shelf space right in the middle, 285 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:30,280 Speaker 1: right in that line of sight. And that's why the 286 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: most popular brands will often sit there, even if you 287 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:38,159 Speaker 1: choose not to buy that product. Why you buy a 288 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,720 Speaker 1: different one is also due to your own conscious mind. 289 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,120 Speaker 1: For example, stuper markets always put the most expensive items 290 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:50,080 Speaker 1: at the top. That slightly higher price makes it feel 291 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 1: slightly better. It makes you feel slightly better about yourself 292 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:56,640 Speaker 1: being able to afford something that isn't the basic choice, 293 00:18:56,760 --> 00:19:00,240 Speaker 1: because it feeds your ego, It feeds some unco just 294 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,919 Speaker 1: part of your mind that needs validation. Maybe if you 295 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,680 Speaker 1: choose a certain past the saurce because one time somebody 296 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:09,080 Speaker 1: really attractive who reminded you of your childhood crush. You 297 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 1: saw them buying that pasta sauce. You don't remember that happening, 298 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,240 Speaker 1: but now that's someone you always buy. Maybe it was 299 00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 1: the one that your parents always chose. That is a 300 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: huge influence. What our parents buy is often what you 301 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,080 Speaker 1: know continues to influence us, even when we think we're 302 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:28,159 Speaker 1: making our own conscious decision. You need to understand the 303 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 1: unconscious mind again, because people are using it to direct 304 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: your behavior, maybe against your actual wants. People can manipulate it. 305 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:42,119 Speaker 1: But also because imagine we're not in a grocery store, 306 00:19:43,359 --> 00:19:46,639 Speaker 1: Imagine we're around our friends, Imagine we're with somebody that 307 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 1: we're dating. Those same automatic, ingrained mental shortcuts that dictate 308 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 1: your grocery choices also then dictate how you behave in 309 00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:59,880 Speaker 1: those situations as well. Like why you pick a fight 310 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:03,760 Speaker 1: over something small that seems to mean absolutely nothing. Why 311 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:08,360 Speaker 1: you get so defensive towards criticism even though you rationally 312 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:11,200 Speaker 1: know it's like a healthy part of a relationship. Why 313 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,480 Speaker 1: for some reason, like your friend interrupting you drives you mad, 314 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,840 Speaker 1: but like she could be as late as she want, 315 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 1: she could literally steal money from you and you don't care, 316 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:21,880 Speaker 1: but as soon as she's mad, Like that's this weird 317 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,640 Speaker 1: disrespect that you don't know why you respond, but you do. 318 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:30,199 Speaker 1: Your unconscious mind is trained to respond to whatever you 319 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:36,960 Speaker 1: repeatedly experience, rehearse an emotionally encode, especially when it happens early, often, 320 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,439 Speaker 1: or intensely. That is really how your unconscious mind is 321 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 1: trained early often, or intensely, frequency, intensity, or the age 322 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:50,400 Speaker 1: at which it occurred. A big aspect that impacts our 323 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 1: unconscious mind is obviously you may have guessed this our 324 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:58,520 Speaker 1: early learnings, our family, our childhood experiences, even and some 325 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,560 Speaker 1: would say this speri answers you had in the womb 326 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 1: or generationally. Literally, there is this idea called collective unconscious, 327 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,159 Speaker 1: which says that our deepest beliefs in our ways of 328 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:15,119 Speaker 1: seeing the world are spiritually inherited before our before we 329 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,640 Speaker 1: even are conscious beings. Your unconscious mind is being formed 330 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 1: way before your conscious mind even catches up. Whilst I 331 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:29,359 Speaker 1: think that's pretty hard to prove scientifically and there is 332 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,000 Speaker 1: yet to be a lot of proof scientific proof for it, 333 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 1: we do know that you absorb the rules of your 334 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,960 Speaker 1: environment before you are consciously aware of them, things like 335 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,680 Speaker 1: how love is shown, what happens when you're upset, whether 336 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,280 Speaker 1: mistakes when you were a child were punished or repaired, 337 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,400 Speaker 1: whether your needs were welcomed or inconvenient, whether you were bullied, 338 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:54,160 Speaker 1: how you were taught to behave things that really traumatized 339 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,199 Speaker 1: you or excited you as a kid. They are what 340 00:21:57,240 --> 00:22:00,320 Speaker 1: are creating the rules for your unconscious mind, and they 341 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 1: become the template for how life works, how relationships work, 342 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: how everything in the world works. Even in adulthood. Your 343 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 1: body will keep running these childhood rules until you consciously 344 00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:19,240 Speaker 1: update them. And this is why therapeutic tools like you know, 345 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:23,520 Speaker 1: like talk therapy or learning to reparent yourself, or reprocessing 346 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,760 Speaker 1: or processing for the first time, or trauma are so effective. 347 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:29,760 Speaker 1: You know, these are the stuff that we're not necessarily 348 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,879 Speaker 1: aware of all the time. We kind of know what happens, 349 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 1: we don't really get the wounds that it's causing. And 350 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 1: it's not until you like really like get in the 351 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,320 Speaker 1: trenches and like dig deep, almost like an archaeologist, and 352 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 1: you bring up this stuff with a professional right that 353 00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,840 Speaker 1: you get yourself a bit more and you really understand 354 00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: what causes these patterns in your behavior. So how can 355 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 1: you recognize when your unconscious mind is really steering things 356 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,120 Speaker 1: in a way that isn't benefitting Because your unconscious mind 357 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,440 Speaker 1: is deering a lot some of it's great, We don't 358 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 1: need to touch that. How do we figure out when 359 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,640 Speaker 1: we do? We do need to do some of that again, 360 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:14,840 Speaker 1: archaeological digging. As Freud said, there will be signs. It's 361 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,880 Speaker 1: probably not going to be dreams though, or disturbing art 362 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:21,400 Speaker 1: or Freudian slips. That's probably not the only way. That's 363 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: not the best way to get access to this. Instead, 364 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 1: and I hate to say, it's probably going to be 365 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,400 Speaker 1: the natural consequences of your actions and of your behavior. 366 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 1: I wish we could interpret everything that was wrong with 367 00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,879 Speaker 1: us unconsciously through our dreams that'd be a lot easier. No, 368 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,600 Speaker 1: it's probably going to have a bit more realistic, tangible, 369 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 1: a more realistic tangible feel to it. One way to 370 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:47,320 Speaker 1: know is when you keep repeating a pattern even though 371 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:51,439 Speaker 1: consciously you want something different. You might genuinely want to rest, 372 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 1: but you keep overworking and you feel terrible about it 373 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,119 Speaker 1: because you're not seeing your family or your friends, but 374 00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 1: you cannot stop. You might really want a healthy relie relationship. 375 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 1: You really want to be with somebody who loves you, 376 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:09,119 Speaker 1: but you keep choosing emotionally unavailable people, repetition with regret. 377 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,439 Speaker 1: You might really want to stand up for yourself and 378 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 1: you really want to start that business, and you really 379 00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 1: want to be a self made success. But when it 380 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,840 Speaker 1: comes down to it, you put yourself, You put yourself 381 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:26,159 Speaker 1: in a box, You apologize, you can't you put yourself 382 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:29,880 Speaker 1: out there. You feel this kind of stagnation, that there 383 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,359 Speaker 1: is like this ceiling to how much you can achieve. 384 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,879 Speaker 1: You know, your wiring says to you, that is not 385 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 1: something that is available to us, That is not who 386 00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:41,800 Speaker 1: we are based on past experiences. That gap, that gap 387 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,240 Speaker 1: is important, the gap between what you consciously want and 388 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:50,040 Speaker 1: what you repeatedly do or believe is the clearer sign 389 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 1: of an automatic reflex that is built on unconscious unhelpful mechanisms. 390 00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:01,399 Speaker 1: Another time that you can notice that your unconscious is 391 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,919 Speaker 1: like in control in a way that's not great is 392 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 1: when your reactions feel bigger than the situation that is 393 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:12,879 Speaker 1: in front of you. A useful, very useful tool or 394 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:17,040 Speaker 1: clue is when you feel this real sense of urgency 395 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:20,640 Speaker 1: to respond in a specific way to a situation. If 396 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 1: it feels like I have to do this right now 397 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:27,800 Speaker 1: to feel okay, otherwise like I don't have any other way, 398 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,439 Speaker 1: I don't know any other way to respond to this. 399 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 1: That is often the unconscious mind trying just to reduce 400 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:37,199 Speaker 1: discomfort as efficiently as possible, and it's just trying to 401 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,800 Speaker 1: protect you in the way that made sense in the past. 402 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:44,680 Speaker 1: If a small comment sends you into panic and rage 403 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 1: and shut down and you just like don't know where 404 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 1: that has come from, or if you find yourself like 405 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:56,159 Speaker 1: overreacting just like rapidly and then you feel super confused afterwards, 406 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,720 Speaker 1: that is often an automatic threat response. In these kinds 407 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 1: of situations, we are responding through memory, and we're responding 408 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,160 Speaker 1: based on past meaning rather than what is actually happening 409 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 1: in the present moment, And it definitely is a sign 410 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,919 Speaker 1: like something deeper is being activated or triggered here that 411 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 1: maybe we're not aware of, or maybe we are but 412 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,760 Speaker 1: we don't want to think of. Just to give you 413 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:24,200 Speaker 1: some more examples, like I'm trying to think about what 414 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 1: would be a good one. So, for example, if your 415 00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:30,879 Speaker 1: friend always chooses the restaurant and you start getting like 416 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:34,840 Speaker 1: really annoyed them, really annoyed at them, and you do 417 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:38,119 Speaker 1: not know why is it really them or is it 418 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:40,560 Speaker 1: because you don't like being directed or because you're not 419 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,120 Speaker 1: in control of plants, because somebody else using a restaurant 420 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: probably shouldn't elicit that much of a of an emotional reaction, 421 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,800 Speaker 1: but you think it really says something about you. Or 422 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 1: if your partner doesn't say I love you back in 423 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: like the specific right tone at the right time, and 424 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,400 Speaker 1: like you go into this full tizzy. Is it about 425 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,560 Speaker 1: them or is it that you, like maybe all secretly 426 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,920 Speaker 1: question whether anyone could truly love you because your parents 427 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:07,240 Speaker 1: didn't show you that much affection, or because a relationship 428 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,440 Speaker 1: in the past made you feel worthless. It's worth asking. 429 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,399 Speaker 1: Once you are aware of these markers and these reactions 430 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,639 Speaker 1: that just seem really disproportionate. You are basically more aware 431 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,080 Speaker 1: than I would say ninety percent of people, probably higher. 432 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,879 Speaker 1: So like noticing it feels very shameful sometimes and feels 433 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:30,200 Speaker 1: very much like awkward and weird. And I actually think 434 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,639 Speaker 1: that's the greatest place to start in that discomfort of 435 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 1: recognizing behaviors you don't like about yourself because it isn't 436 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,840 Speaker 1: your fault. It definitely isn't your fault most of the time. 437 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,399 Speaker 1: That like, this is who you are, and this is 438 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,760 Speaker 1: how you were programmed, and this is how your this 439 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,720 Speaker 1: is what your unconscious mind chooses to prioritize. It is 440 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 1: your responsibility though, which really sucks. It's just an extra 441 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,479 Speaker 1: another one of those extra fun things about being an adult. 442 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 1: But we can definitely do it. We can definitely take 443 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 1: responsibilities for these behaviors and change the outcome and change 444 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,840 Speaker 1: the behavioral loop. So we're going to take one final 445 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 1: break here and then when we come back, I want 446 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:13,400 Speaker 1: to give you three ways to do this and to 447 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,640 Speaker 1: reprogram your unconscious mind as much as we possibly can 448 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:27,040 Speaker 1: as conscious individuals to stay with us. I personally think 449 00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 1: one of the biggest signs of intelligence in somebody is 450 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 1: choosing not just to accept your situation or learn behavior 451 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:38,479 Speaker 1: for what it is choosing not just to say like, 452 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,280 Speaker 1: this is the way I am, and this is how 453 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 1: I've always been, so why do I have to change, 454 00:28:43,760 --> 00:28:48,600 Speaker 1: but instead instead taking action on behalf of your better 455 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,720 Speaker 1: self and on behalf of the person you want to be, 456 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 1: even if you are not there yet. In fact, research 457 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,280 Speaker 1: has shown, research has shown time and time again that 458 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 1: one of the biggest signs of low mental flexibility and 459 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:06,960 Speaker 1: therefore low mental intelligence or emotional intelligence, I should say, 460 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:11,880 Speaker 1: is being unable to take accountability or see any issue 461 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:15,480 Speaker 1: with our own behavior that is not going to be us. Though, 462 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 1: that is not going to be us because we know 463 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,120 Speaker 1: what we're responsible for. Now we're going to change it. 464 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 1: Recognizing ways you may be self sabotaging is not a weakness. 465 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 1: Most people will never do this in their entire lives. 466 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 1: So this is what we're going to do next. The 467 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:38,600 Speaker 1: first step, according to the incredible author Brianna Weste I 468 00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 1: think her name is Brianna west Wist you will know 469 00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: her though she wrote the book one hundred and one 470 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,719 Speaker 1: Essays to Change the Way You Think. She also wrote 471 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,360 Speaker 1: the pivot year the mountain is you. I think she 472 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: has another book coming out, but one of the best 473 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,880 Speaker 1: things that she said about this, about this rewiring of 474 00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:59,080 Speaker 1: the unconscious, is if you want to change your behavior 475 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 1: and you want to rewire how your unconsciousness or unconscious 476 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,080 Speaker 1: brain responds to things, you have to signal to your 477 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 1: subconscious and your unconscious that another reality is possible. Essentially, 478 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: you have to be able to imagine a new scenario 479 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 1: and a better scenario for yourself. And the more you 480 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,160 Speaker 1: practice that imagined scenario in your brain by rehearsing it, 481 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:24,680 Speaker 1: by visualizing it, the more it feels real. So you've 482 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 1: recognized the response that you want to change. Now you 483 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:34,880 Speaker 1: are essentially reprogramming the outcome that the possibility of a 484 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:39,719 Speaker 1: different outcome that could come afterwards. Your brain often treats 485 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 1: subjective reality, and your thoughts about a potential reality or 486 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 1: your imagination is the same, and that means that if 487 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,920 Speaker 1: you think it can be true, your brain starts to 488 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:54,760 Speaker 1: believe it as well. That's cognitive rewiring. It's literally the 489 00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 1: same neurological patterns that create anxiety, just in the reverse 490 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,719 Speaker 1: right your brain like your brain cooks up these like 491 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,520 Speaker 1: what if possibilities and overinvest in them because it can't 492 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:10,320 Speaker 1: always tell imagined reality from actual reality. In this situation, though, 493 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,080 Speaker 1: we're going to overthink the best case scenario. We are 494 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: like reverse reverse engineering this to help us out. As 495 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,800 Speaker 1: Brianna says, you have to be willing to see it's 496 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:26,800 Speaker 1: possible before the reality of possibility follows. Whether that is 497 00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,800 Speaker 1: in a relationship, whether that is imagining how you are 498 00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:33,479 Speaker 1: going to break out of your cycle of dating emotionally 499 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 1: unavailable people, you have to imagine that that's possible. Whether 500 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 1: it is breaking out of a pattern of rage and anger, 501 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 1: you have to imagine it's possible first, whether it is 502 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:48,280 Speaker 1: breaking out of a pattern of not communicating with your 503 00:31:48,320 --> 00:31:51,960 Speaker 1: friends and always having these like dramatic friendship blow ups. 504 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,680 Speaker 1: If you cannot imagine a different way of doing it, 505 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,160 Speaker 1: you're not going to be able to do it. So 506 00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,240 Speaker 1: part of this practice is like almost kind of like 507 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:05,560 Speaker 1: a creative writing, creative rewiring exercise of like write your 508 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,520 Speaker 1: own adventure, write your own ending. How is this going 509 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:11,680 Speaker 1: to go? Second, once you have the imagined alternative scenario, 510 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:18,080 Speaker 1: just keep the programming really really simple. Choose one behavior, 511 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:23,120 Speaker 1: one reaction, one automatic choice you make that you don't 512 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:28,920 Speaker 1: particularly like and target that. This was advice that was 513 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,479 Speaker 1: written about in The New Scientists in twenty eighteen. They 514 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,960 Speaker 1: actually did this whole series of like reprogramming your own 515 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 1: conscious if you want to pay for a subscription. But 516 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 1: essentially what they said, or what the author of this 517 00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:45,520 Speaker 1: article said, was that we have to start small. We 518 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,800 Speaker 1: have to start on the most micro level to gain 519 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:52,320 Speaker 1: access to our unconscious and rewire it. So creating a 520 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:58,000 Speaker 1: singular if then plan whether then is the desired behavior? 521 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:02,400 Speaker 1: That is what we're talking about. If I'm in this situation, 522 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,480 Speaker 1: then this is how I'm going to respond. There's actually 523 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,880 Speaker 1: such strong evidence. It's been written about so many times. 524 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:10,800 Speaker 1: This is not an original idea for me, by the way, 525 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:13,600 Speaker 1: at all. This has been written about and studied so 526 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:17,920 Speaker 1: often that one of the simplest ways to gain more 527 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:23,400 Speaker 1: control over automatic impulses is to predecide what your response 528 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,520 Speaker 1: is going to be in advance. It's also a way 529 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 1: that people recover from addiction, you know, one behavior at 530 00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,560 Speaker 1: a time. There was a major two thousand and six 531 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:34,960 Speaker 1: meta analysis, so a little bit old now, but this 532 00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:39,760 Speaker 1: big meta analysis that pulled together results from dozens of studies, 533 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:42,880 Speaker 1: and they tested. What these are called. These are called 534 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:46,640 Speaker 1: implementation intentions, right, those if then plans like if it's 535 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:51,360 Speaker 1: ten pm, then I'm in bed. If it's the morning, 536 00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,840 Speaker 1: then I'm not on my phone. That's a bad one. 537 00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:56,960 Speaker 1: Like if I feel the urge to people please, then 538 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,720 Speaker 1: I will email somebody and say I'll get back to you. 539 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,080 Speaker 1: Then I will give myself twenty minutes to respond. If 540 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:04,600 Speaker 1: I'm angry at my partner, then I'll take a walk. 541 00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:11,000 Speaker 1: Those kind of implementation intentions. Across all these studies, people 542 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,400 Speaker 1: who had these in place, people who had the imagined 543 00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:21,040 Speaker 1: better scenario, were significantly more likely to follow through on 544 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:24,839 Speaker 1: their new habits and intentions then people who just set 545 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:29,399 Speaker 1: a general broad desire to change. So people who were 546 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,239 Speaker 1: like I want to be better, I want to be 547 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:33,640 Speaker 1: a better person, I want to be healthier, blah blah 548 00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,719 Speaker 1: blah blah blah, they weren't able to really do it. 549 00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:41,480 Speaker 1: But when you could say this is my trigger or 550 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 1: this is the situation I normally unconsciously respond to, and 551 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,520 Speaker 1: this is how I want to respond differently, when you 552 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:52,920 Speaker 1: could really identify A and B, your chances of success skyrocketed. 553 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:56,160 Speaker 1: And the explanation for that, sorry just to drill into 554 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,440 Speaker 1: this a little bit more. The explanation for that is 555 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:03,960 Speaker 1: that the if part is the crucial part because it 556 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:09,600 Speaker 1: makes you more sensitive to what is queuing the automatic 557 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:14,839 Speaker 1: response that you would normally perform. If the IF is 558 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:19,360 Speaker 1: making you aware of what in your environment triggers a response, 559 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,719 Speaker 1: what in your own environment makes you particularly sensitive, what 560 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:26,640 Speaker 1: in your environment your past has made you particularly reactive to, 561 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:32,040 Speaker 1: And then it interrupts the normal loop that your unconscious 562 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:35,600 Speaker 1: or automatic behaviors would want to perform and is like, 563 00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,560 Speaker 1: this is our exit, then we will do something else. 564 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:44,640 Speaker 1: Another way to feel more in control of the impulses 565 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:47,040 Speaker 1: of the unconscious mind, especially the ones again I keep 566 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,319 Speaker 1: saying this, the ones we don't want your unconscious mind 567 00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,200 Speaker 1: as great things. But another way to feel in control 568 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,520 Speaker 1: of those that we don't particularly enjoy is really simply 569 00:35:55,560 --> 00:36:00,359 Speaker 1: to just move slower. When we talk about impulses, we're 570 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:07,839 Speaker 1: often really talking about bottom up automatic, like automatic processing 571 00:36:08,239 --> 00:36:13,360 Speaker 1: and like automatic emotional responses. Right, It's coming from something 572 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:18,239 Speaker 1: very deep in us, and these responses are often generated 573 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:23,720 Speaker 1: by much older, ancient brain systems, the ones that would 574 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:27,920 Speaker 1: have come about first the amygdala, the limbic system, the 575 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:31,240 Speaker 1: mid brain structures. Literally, if you looked at a cross 576 00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:33,040 Speaker 1: section of the brain, they are right in the they 577 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,640 Speaker 1: are right in the center. They're the most protected because 578 00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:39,480 Speaker 1: they are the most important. These systems. They are fast, 579 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:44,440 Speaker 1: they are efficient, They are designed for survival. It doesn't 580 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,280 Speaker 1: want you to wait for nuance. Your automatic behaviors don't 581 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 1: care about your long term goals. They don't want to 582 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:55,680 Speaker 1: consult you about how your reaction might meet your vision 583 00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,279 Speaker 1: of your ideal self. When you are stressed, when you 584 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,960 Speaker 1: are sleep deprived, when you are over stimulated, when you 585 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:05,040 Speaker 1: are emotionally flooded, the balance between your limbic system and 586 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:10,160 Speaker 1: your prefrontal cortext shifts, so that your ability to intentionally 587 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:15,120 Speaker 1: interrupt a behavior or intentionally interrupt I don't know, reaction, 588 00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:19,160 Speaker 1: it just goes way down, like it's hard to get 589 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,920 Speaker 1: in front of that bus. In high arousal states, you 590 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:27,480 Speaker 1: are again more likely to return to the default or 591 00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:31,080 Speaker 1: to your habitual behaviors, and so your window for tolerance 592 00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:34,320 Speaker 1: of discomfort and your ability to interrupt it, it just narrows. 593 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:38,120 Speaker 1: Slowing down. On the other hand, interrupts that like that 594 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:44,399 Speaker 1: cascade of stuff that's happening from a neurobiological perspective. Deliberately, 595 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:52,320 Speaker 1: you know, reducing even your walking pace, deliberately making yourself 596 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 1: in less of a rush all the time, slowing down 597 00:37:55,560 --> 00:38:00,440 Speaker 1: your breathing, slowing down your speech, slowing down your physical movement, 598 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:05,560 Speaker 1: slowing down how you eat, even whether you rush breakfast 599 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:08,279 Speaker 1: over the counter or you sit down and enjoy it. 600 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:13,080 Speaker 1: Slowing down all of that stuff increases parasympathetic nervous system activity, 601 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:19,560 Speaker 1: which means better emotional regulation and stronger like top down 602 00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:24,720 Speaker 1: control rather than bottom up response. You are literally making 603 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:30,840 Speaker 1: it biologically, neurologically easier to choose a better outcome for 604 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:35,560 Speaker 1: yourself rather than just reacting. You can't manage what is 605 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:39,560 Speaker 1: unconscious if you are always in a reactive state. It's 606 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:43,320 Speaker 1: just not possible. So this is probably the most important 607 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:48,600 Speaker 1: thing of all. Do the talk therapy, do the inner 608 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:51,880 Speaker 1: child healing, do all of that to the historical work. 609 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:56,840 Speaker 1: But if your nervous system is not regulated, if you 610 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,239 Speaker 1: are not going about life more intentionally, and I feel 611 00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 1: like intentionality such a buzzword, but it's true. If you 612 00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,840 Speaker 1: do not work on these high level intentions and slowing 613 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:09,960 Speaker 1: down your life and reducing stress in whatever way you 614 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,080 Speaker 1: can I know it's a busy life, but reducing stress 615 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 1: and whatever way you can your ability to signal to 616 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:19,200 Speaker 1: your body that you want to perform this new set 617 00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:22,200 Speaker 1: of narratives and that you want to respond differently is 618 00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:25,399 Speaker 1: going to be very, very difficult. But I still think 619 00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,640 Speaker 1: you're able to do it. I still think that even 620 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:32,520 Speaker 1: just recognizing to begin with the role of your own 621 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:37,000 Speaker 1: conscious mind and what it's kind of doing, not doing 622 00:39:37,040 --> 00:39:39,640 Speaker 1: to you, but what it's trying to do for you, 623 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,440 Speaker 1: based on the past, based on past hurt, based on 624 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:47,360 Speaker 1: past fea trauma, even good things, that is a great 625 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,959 Speaker 1: place to begin, I know for me, and I feel 626 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,080 Speaker 1: like I've been talking about this a lot in recent episodes. 627 00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,000 Speaker 1: You can tell I'm really this is what I'm going 628 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,839 Speaker 1: through at the moment. But my big thing has been 629 00:39:56,880 --> 00:40:01,520 Speaker 1: realizing how I unconsciously like resp onto social threats, especially 630 00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,200 Speaker 1: with my friends, and reflecting on you know how when 631 00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:05,840 Speaker 1: I was a kid, like I wasn't accepted and I 632 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:08,920 Speaker 1: was bullied, and I didn't have many friends and I 633 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,839 Speaker 1: was very lonely, and so I would always have this 634 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,279 Speaker 1: weird reaction when like people would hang out without me 635 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,959 Speaker 1: or I don't know, things of that nature would happen 636 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:22,959 Speaker 1: where I would get really irritated and I would self 637 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,640 Speaker 1: sabotage in a way where I would put even more 638 00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,920 Speaker 1: distance between myself and that friend, even when they were 639 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,480 Speaker 1: kind of like, hey, what the heck is going on. 640 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,560 Speaker 1: That's been a big thing for me realizing that unconsciously 641 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,680 Speaker 1: everything that my brain is trying to do is to 642 00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,240 Speaker 1: make life safer for me, and it's trying to protect 643 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,040 Speaker 1: me from past hurt. And the thing is is that 644 00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:47,440 Speaker 1: I'm not in that situation anymore. I'm not that child 645 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,360 Speaker 1: or that teenager or that kid who was like feeling 646 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,640 Speaker 1: very socially rejected. I'm an adult who has a brilliant 647 00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:56,520 Speaker 1: life and who has really focused on brilliant friendships. Those 648 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:59,319 Speaker 1: patterns from my past like don't fit here anymore. And 649 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,960 Speaker 1: if I keep them up, and if I keep performing them, like, 650 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna lose a really good thing. So just noticing 651 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,840 Speaker 1: it and being as intentional as possible and being like, 652 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,080 Speaker 1: I don't want to be this person anymore. Just one 653 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:14,640 Speaker 1: of the most brilliant things that you can do or start, 654 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,799 Speaker 1: like not just in your twenties, but like at any age. 655 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:20,040 Speaker 1: You can be in your sixties and it's still gonna 656 00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:21,719 Speaker 1: be great. You could be in your nineties and this 657 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:25,719 Speaker 1: is still an effective, wonderful thing for us to do. 658 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:28,000 Speaker 1: So I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope it's 659 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,960 Speaker 1: given you some insight stirred up some conversation. As always, 660 00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:36,440 Speaker 1: thank you to our brilliant researcher Libby Colbert for her 661 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,400 Speaker 1: help with this episode. So much research went into this 662 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:42,360 Speaker 1: and it's just, like always such a fascinating topic to 663 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,120 Speaker 1: return to, whether you're like in the intro stages of 664 00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:48,399 Speaker 1: psychology or like more advanced. I feel like it's one 665 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:51,240 Speaker 1: of my Yeah, it's one of my favorite things to discuss. 666 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,600 Speaker 1: If you are listening on Spotify, leave a little brain 667 00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,600 Speaker 1: emoji below so I know that you made it to 668 00:41:56,600 --> 00:42:00,000 Speaker 1: the end of the episode and thank you for sticking around. 669 00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:02,520 Speaker 1: I very much appreciate it. Make sure that you are 670 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:07,520 Speaker 1: following us on Instagram on substack if you want the yeah, 671 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,360 Speaker 1: if you want the links to this article and to 672 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,080 Speaker 1: look at all the research we used. You can also 673 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:15,160 Speaker 1: watch us now on Netflix. If you're in the US 674 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:19,840 Speaker 1: or Canada, please tag me in your pictures, tag me 675 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:24,200 Speaker 1: in your stories of you watching the podcast. The vibe 676 00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:28,440 Speaker 1: is amazing. You can see all these cool props behind 677 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,759 Speaker 1: me right now. It just brings I don't know, a 678 00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,040 Speaker 1: whole deeper level to what we're doing today and what 679 00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:36,200 Speaker 1: we're talking about. So thank you again for listening. Hopefully 680 00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:38,960 Speaker 1: I see you over on Netflix. If you are in 681 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:41,440 Speaker 1: the US or kind of elsewhere, I'm sorry I can't 682 00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:44,280 Speaker 1: help you with that right now, but hopefully soon. And 683 00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:47,520 Speaker 1: until next time, be safe, be kind, be gentle to yourself. 684 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:49,920 Speaker 1: We will talk very very shortly.