Speaker 1: If you answer no to any of those questions, then
Speaker 1: absolutely do not give up. Don't that is that is
Speaker 1: a huge problem in society today. All right, is finally
Speaker 1: here episode one hundred. As promised, we have multiple guests.
Speaker 1: We're actually supposed to have one more. We're supposed to
Speaker 1: have Christian. He wasn't feeling good, so he bowed out.
Speaker 1: So we have the favorites of the podcast. Parker always
Speaker 1: a favorite. People always request you, what's happening? You're you're
Speaker 1: our relationship guy. Okay. Supposedly, all right, Chad past the Chad,
Speaker 1: past the Chad, welcome back. Always a big request. You're
Speaker 1: gonna be our You're gonna be our pastoral guy. Okay, God,
Speaker 1: questions will go to you. Indeed, that burns. Oh man,
Speaker 1: what's gonna get thrown at me? I'm so nervous. You're
Speaker 1: the utility draw, utility draw. Everyone could everyone could play
Speaker 1: multiple hats in this game. But you're gonna play our
Speaker 1: life guy. Okay, yeah, our career guy. Okay, Okay, I
Speaker 1: can do it. So what we do on this podcast.
Speaker 1: If for some reason you came to episode one hundred,
Speaker 1: it's the first time, maybe it is your very first
Speaker 1: time We're gonna answer questions as if we're sitting around
Speaker 1: I can't fire, and you're sitting around with some buddies
Speaker 1: and we're there and you say he could, I could.
Speaker 1: I got throw something at you, guys. Something's been bothering
Speaker 1: me or something I'm excited about and I need some
Speaker 1: kind of resolution, so you ask us that, And so
Speaker 1: that's that's what we're doing today. I've I've picked these
Speaker 1: these three gentlemen around me. These are these are good men,
Speaker 1: good hearts, They're smart. And if I and and this
Speaker 1: does happen, if I'm going through something or I need
Speaker 1: some some somebody to reflects some wisdom back on me,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna go to these three guys. And
Speaker 1: so I feel very blessed to have these these three
Speaker 1: guys and and others in my life, and I want
Speaker 1: to be able to share that with you. So that's
Speaker 1: what this podcast is about. If you have one of
Speaker 1: these questions, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. I
Speaker 1: want to get to some some good stuff today. I
Speaker 1: have some good questions lined up, so I don't want
Speaker 1: to waste too much time talking. So I'm gonna dive
Speaker 1: into the question for the record, I don't know what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pick first, and I don't know a lot
Speaker 1: about these questions. Can I cut something out of the
Speaker 1: way from go go ahead, Jed. So I'm not only
Speaker 1: you know, I get to be a guest here, but
Speaker 1: I'm also a fan of the podcast. I listen when
Speaker 1: I'm not on here, and I'm a little like starstruck
Speaker 1: right now that I get to hang out with Bernie.
Speaker 1: If you're if you are, you listen to this podcast,
Speaker 1: and you're like, I love to hang with that guy,
Speaker 1: Like I'm living your dream right now. And so it's
Speaker 1: just it's an honor to meet Bernie in Verson the
Speaker 1: first time we've ever met. Yeah, it was just we
Speaker 1: hugged it, we did we embraced it felt felt authentic
Speaker 1: and real. So yeah, same for me. Same here. I
Speaker 1: know Bernie would say the same thing back to you.
Speaker 1: So because he does call me and he's like, man,
Speaker 1: that episode with Chad Parker, you're in this too, dude,
Speaker 1: that both these guys will say the same thing. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: they just know you a lot better. This is the
Speaker 1: first time they've ever met. Ye, I've just before. I agree,
Speaker 1: it was a big day. It was a big day.
Speaker 1: I mean, you were kind of there, you were you
Speaker 1: saw it witness. Yeah, I couldn't believe they hadn't met yet.
Speaker 1: He was playing piano in the background, like I set
Speaker 1: it up. Yeah, Hey, Parker, get over there, play piano.
Speaker 1: There's a soundtrack. Yeah. I was trying to bring emotion
Speaker 1: to the moment. Very magical. The first question I want
Speaker 1: to I want to ask or I want to read
Speaker 1: is the septic line says question for one hundredth episode,
Speaker 1: it is failing my family. Great Andrew, thank you for
Speaker 1: all you do on this podcast is to highlight of
Speaker 1: my mondays. My name is Jared. I'm in my late thirties.
Speaker 1: I live in Nashville, Tennessee. I have many blessings in
Speaker 1: my life, a wonderful wife, an amazing nine year old daughter,
Speaker 1: a roof over my head, the ability to earn a wage.
Speaker 1: But I cannot escape the feeling that I'm failing at
Speaker 1: life and at worst, I'm failing my family. Brief backstory
Speaker 1: summer of twenty nineteen, diagnosed with a growth in my
Speaker 1: brain and it was still throwing off several systems in
Speaker 1: my body. Currently attempting to shrink it with medicine, but
Speaker 1: not reaching desired results. Spring a twenty twenty, I lose
Speaker 1: my dream job due to the pandemic. January twenty twenty one,
Speaker 1: my father, mother, and younger brother all diagnosed with COVID nineteen.
Speaker 1: In the same week, father, in his sixties, makes a
Speaker 1: full recovery, but my younger brother dies two weeks later.
Speaker 1: March twenty twenty one, after long struggle, my mother dies
Speaker 1: from COVID. My family lives about five hundred miles away,
Speaker 1: and I have done everything I can to help, but
Speaker 1: there is only so much you could do from this
Speaker 1: kind of distance. I'm blessed enough to find a temporary
Speaker 1: job working in a warehouse for a fraction of the
Speaker 1: pay I was making at my previous job, but it's
Speaker 1: really hard, only getting support from churches and friends. I've
Speaker 1: averaged about sixty hours per week since March of twenty
Speaker 1: twenty to get the income needed to keep us going.
Speaker 1: It's definitely been a physical, mental, and emotional strain. I
Speaker 1: have yet to be able to find another job in
Speaker 1: my previous field due to the volatility of the financial
Speaker 1: markets and the inability to generate clients in pre pandemic ways.
Speaker 1: In my heart, I know God has his hand on
Speaker 1: my life, and I believe he could turn all things
Speaker 1: for good. But I'm struggling with feeling that I'm not
Speaker 1: living up to my potential and failing my family by
Speaker 1: not finding a job that I could provide as well
Speaker 1: and still be available for them in this crazy season.
Speaker 1: All insights are greatly appreciated. Thanks Jerry ye Ye, Thanks Jared.
Speaker 1: Shout out to to Nashville. Bernie and I both lived
Speaker 1: in Nashville late thirties. Got quite a story here, that's
Speaker 1: a lot. But yet you're you're holding your head up
Speaker 1: and and talking about your blessings, which tells me that
Speaker 1: you're you're in a right place. It doesn't make it easier, doesn't.
Speaker 1: You could be in a right place and and still
Speaker 1: be struggling with what to do tomorrow. So did I
Speaker 1: hear right that he lost his mom and his brother
Speaker 1: this year? Yep. He's got a nine year old daughter,
Speaker 1: he's in his late thirties, and and a growth on
Speaker 1: his brain that looks like it's stable, but they're not
Speaker 1: getting the total results. So he's got a lot going on. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you could plug in, Jared. You could plug it in
Speaker 1: with a lot of people right now. In the world,
Speaker 1: A lot of Americans, at a lot of people worldwide.
Speaker 1: You could plug in anybody's name for Jared said, they've
Speaker 1: had several losses recently back to back, including their job,
Speaker 1: and they're dealing with their own physical health and they're
Speaker 1: feeling guilty that they might not be living up to
Speaker 1: what their family expects from them. Who's got something on this?
Speaker 1: So this sounds like a pastor question to chat on this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So what I hear in what he's kind of described
Speaker 1: there there is this belief in understanding that God is
Speaker 1: present through this. He says, I know that God has
Speaker 1: his hand on me. I know He's got a plan. However,
Speaker 1: I still wrestle with this feeling that I'm failing, that
Speaker 1: I'm insufficient, and so there's a tension there right, there's yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know God has this, but I still have to
Speaker 1: do my part in this, right And so I think
Speaker 1: that's what that's what my heart feels immediate format And
Speaker 1: he's again not alone in having all kinds of crazy
Speaker 1: things happen, but also not alone that we as men
Speaker 1: will tend to find our identity in what we can produce.
Speaker 1: I mean that goes back to Genesis three, right when
Speaker 1: the curse comes down from God to Adam and Eve.
Speaker 1: For Adam, it's particular in that you will labor hard
Speaker 1: and have difficulty producing from the ground, like this will
Speaker 1: be a hard thing for you. And so from that
Speaker 1: point forward, men in particular will always struggle to find
Speaker 1: their value and their meaning in what they can produce.
Speaker 1: And it's I think particularly sensitive when it comes to
Speaker 1: producing four wife and kids. Is that a good or
Speaker 1: bad thing? I think it is. It's a dangerous thing
Speaker 1: because as much as we can say no, I trust
Speaker 1: God for my identity, my value, my purpose, and I'm
Speaker 1: in Christ, we still go. But ye, when I compare
Speaker 1: myself to my friends or the culture around me, I'm
Speaker 1: only valuable to the extent I can produce in my
Speaker 1: mind what I think I need to produce. And so
Speaker 1: he has a unique opportunity that as the world watches
Speaker 1: him right all his neighbor's friend's family watch him go
Speaker 1: through some horrific seasons of life. They get to watch
Speaker 1: how he responds in a way that trusts the Lord.
Speaker 1: Doesn't find fault with the Lord and is okay with
Speaker 1: it because his identity is not in his own ability
Speaker 1: to produce and so that may be something that the
Speaker 1: Lord is trying to walk him through and teach him through.
Speaker 1: But it doesn't make it easy. It's super hard when
Speaker 1: and we can't produce in the way that we want to.
Speaker 1: And so I think there's something there with identity and
Speaker 1: not necessarily saying that he's giving lip service to his faith,
Speaker 1: but that there is a real tension with saying I
Speaker 1: believe God for this, However, I still need to do
Speaker 1: my part. I need to produce. And so finding that
Speaker 1: balance of seeing the opportunities you have and what you know,
Speaker 1: what God has given you, and the clients you do
Speaker 1: have and the work you can do, but just trusting
Speaker 1: that this is a season, this isn't forever, This too
Speaker 1: shall pass, as they say, right, and that this is
Speaker 1: an opportunity yet to demonstrate your loyalty, your commitment, your
Speaker 1: worship to God in the midst of trial. Yeah, so good, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're right on. And that there is a positive note
Speaker 1: that he's taking responsibility for taking care of his family
Speaker 1: and that is a good thing very much, And that
Speaker 1: is say that is a gift from God, that not
Speaker 1: only that he was given that, but he's accepting that responsibility.
Speaker 1: He's feeling the weight of that. So Garret Mahart goes
Speaker 1: to you, man, you feel the weight of this. But
Speaker 1: Chad's right on and saying that this is a season
Speaker 1: and it's so hard to see past a season like this,
Speaker 1: but they always change, just like the leaves and the
Speaker 1: trees and the seasons, they change. That's how life is.
Speaker 1: And that's such a big reason I think. I don't
Speaker 1: know exactly what I think. That's why Jesus just really
Speaker 1: wanted to teach don't worry about tomorrow. He made it
Speaker 1: a big part of the sermon on the Mount, but
Speaker 1: everything he could have said, he wanted us to say, No,
Speaker 1: you need to worry about today, and brother, you are.
Speaker 1: You're crushing today. You went out. You got a job.
Speaker 1: A lot of people email this podcast. They don't even
Speaker 1: have that temporary job. They're wanting to get back to
Speaker 1: what they think they deserve. You went out, you put
Speaker 1: pride aside. You got this temporary job, and you had
Speaker 1: every reason to just climb in a little cave and
Speaker 1: disappear with everything that's going on with you. But you
Speaker 1: fought back. You're a fighter. You fought back. You're working
Speaker 1: sixty hours a week. You're getting support from your friends,
Speaker 1: wise counsel that we love that you're getting wise counsel.
Speaker 1: And the only thing I think that's missing in this
Speaker 1: whole email is full trust God. You got this. You
Speaker 1: got People love to quote Romans eight twenty eight, but
Speaker 1: they always for they just quote the all things for
Speaker 1: good part. They forget the love God according to his purpose.
Speaker 1: They forget those parts. So He's got a purpose for you.
Speaker 1: Trust him, believe him, love him, And in the meantime,
Speaker 1: you're crushing it. Yeah, Jared, I'll hit you with some
Speaker 1: just practical I think they hit on this on a
Speaker 1: very spiritual kind of, you know, higher level. But having
Speaker 1: had a friend that's had a brain tumor removed and
Speaker 1: had to go on medication to address it, it sounds
Speaker 1: like you're on medication. And I know how that can
Speaker 1: mess with mood, It can mess with hormones, it can
Speaker 1: mess with your ability to process emotion. So I would
Speaker 1: just suggest to either, I don't and again, you're not
Speaker 1: at the campfire with us, so I can't ask you
Speaker 1: these questions like but I would I would suggest to
Speaker 1: like keep that in mind, and maybe your wife knows
Speaker 1: that and like you have some accountability to like, hey,
Speaker 1: this medicine is not this kind is not working, Like, man,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling this way. So I think from a medication standpoint,
Speaker 1: just make sure that you're being monitored, like and people
Speaker 1: that know you really well or seeing how you're responding
Speaker 1: to that because those things that they I've seen them
Speaker 1: firsthand play have major effects on people. And the other
Speaker 1: thing is everybody at this table probably has either experienced
Speaker 1: or know somebody that's experienced the death and the family
Speaker 1: that you're kind of working with. My dad passed away
Speaker 1: last December. Man, push into some counseling of some kind
Speaker 1: to really process your grief. And that's a lot all
Speaker 1: at once too, especially on top of just the low
Speaker 1: lying trauma that everybody's kind of dealing with in this
Speaker 1: season of COVID and everything. So I think just practical,
Speaker 1: you know, make somebody, make sure somebody is kind of
Speaker 1: like aware of your medication, and then counseling for your
Speaker 1: grief just to process through some of those emotions and everything.
Speaker 1: That's a pretty good, a pretty good paint that you know,
Speaker 1: we did a broad stroke on this and uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's awesome. Having having both of you guys in here.
Speaker 1: Here's one that this has to be lighter. But it's
Speaker 1: called friendship breakup, and it says, how do you know
Speaker 1: it's time when it's time to end a friendship? Long
Speaker 1: story short, We've been best friends for a few new
Speaker 1: years now, and our families were super close, did everything together.
Speaker 1: She was invited to a bachelorette party and declined for
Speaker 1: budget and aligning priorities quotations. Less than twelve hours later,
Speaker 1: they were at Windstar. The following weekend was a weekend
Speaker 1: getaway to a really expensive hotel and another trip to Windstar,
Speaker 1: and this coming weekend a weekend trip to New Orleans,
Speaker 1: all with friends that she that they excuse me, have
Speaker 1: made in the past two or three months. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm being told our friendship is not a priority
Speaker 1: to her, and I've been extremely hurt by this. Am
Speaker 1: I overreacting? Or is it time to step back? Parker?
Speaker 1: That's Parker all over it. This comes from Amanda Barker.
Speaker 1: Hasn't he lose his friends? All he knows about that? Hey,
Speaker 1: my friend go to casinos without me. I guess the
Speaker 1: question here is should I be friends with someone who
Speaker 1: seems to be not respectful of my time or wanting
Speaker 1: to hang out with me, or am I being am
Speaker 1: I being? Am I overthinking this? Am I bringing drama
Speaker 1: into this unnecessarily? Yeah? That a fair assessment. Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: If Christian was here, I know that he would say
Speaker 1: something about what kind of expectations are you setting for
Speaker 1: this friendship that that is not reciprocated. You're you're you're
Speaker 1: setting this high expectation of we're besties. We do everything together,
Speaker 1: we tell each other everything. If someone new comes into
Speaker 1: our lives, we introduce them, and that's an expectation that
Speaker 1: that the other person is not giving back to Amanda.
Speaker 1: I am frustrated. I'm frustrated with this question. And it's
Speaker 1: partly why I put it on this this group, and
Speaker 1: sometimes I put questions in here because I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people need to hear it, because a lot
Speaker 1: of people probably feel it. But this is this is
Speaker 1: a This is such a waste of spirit and effort
Speaker 1: and heart. I cannot imagine how you're stressing over this.
Speaker 1: And imagine Jared not not comparing here, but imagine what
Speaker 1: Jared's going through and and Amanda, you're dealing with a
Speaker 1: friend that's going to Windstar, and I want I just
Speaker 1: kind of I don't want to compare, but I do
Speaker 1: want to kind of just put a perspective in here
Speaker 1: that are you overreacting? Yes? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're you're
Speaker 1: you are? What does that make you feel? Yeah? My
Speaker 1: Immediately I look to expectations and what she expects of
Speaker 1: the friend and like, are you are you unwilling to
Speaker 1: sit down and have a conversation or kind of deal
Speaker 1: with some resolution here, Like, let's there's unresolved frustration, so
Speaker 1: just grab coffee, go grab lunch something, but just say, hey,
Speaker 1: here's what's going on. We've been friends for a long
Speaker 1: time and I just need to share some things. And
Speaker 1: because I want this friendship to continue. Obviously you wouldn't
Speaker 1: be hurt if you didn't want it to continue. So
Speaker 1: it's worth fighting for. And that's what friends do through
Speaker 1: thick and thin ups and downs, but they deal with
Speaker 1: unresolved conflict so that once resolved, you're better for it.
Speaker 1: You're better friends for it. If you find that through
Speaker 1: that confrontation, this friend is like, I'm sorry, this is
Speaker 1: too much for me. Maybe that's an indicator too that
Speaker 1: it's not the kind of friendship that's healthy and that
Speaker 1: you need to engage with. But I would be willing
Speaker 1: to resolve the conflict and in front it, and in
Speaker 1: doing that, you're being the kind of friend that you'd
Speaker 1: probably want to have. Yeah, So so let me ask
Speaker 1: you a question, because I think that's great advice. But
Speaker 1: let's say Amanda. Let's say Amanda reaches out to Julie says, hey,
Speaker 1: can we grab coffee? Do this? And julis like, now,
Speaker 1: I'm just busier, I can't do it. I'm not sure
Speaker 1: when I can do it. Or let's let's say that
Speaker 1: they do get together and have coffee. Let's go this way.
Speaker 1: They have coffee and Julie is just like, yeah, she's
Speaker 1: intentionally been doing this, and there there is like a break,
Speaker 1: and Julie doesn't necessarily want to continue the same level
Speaker 1: of friendship. Let's just say that's a possibility. How does
Speaker 1: Amanda then respond to that, not not just respond to Julie,
Speaker 1: but how does she go about living and accepting that
Speaker 1: this man is this was a friendship. I'm hurt that
Speaker 1: it kind of went this way, But how do I
Speaker 1: kind of like now navigate going forward without that friendship
Speaker 1: the same as it was before? I think when that happens,
Speaker 1: that is it's it's the loss of a friend, right,
Speaker 1: It's it's like a death, and there's a grief process
Speaker 1: associated with that of and I can't remember off the
Speaker 1: top of my head what that grief process is, but
Speaker 1: there are steps that we emotionally go through to kind
Speaker 1: of reconcile in our lives that that person isn't going
Speaker 1: to be that person in the same way or maybe
Speaker 1: ever again. And so I think there is a grief
Speaker 1: process that you have to go through and just lament
Speaker 1: the loss of a friend. If that's the case, if
Speaker 1: the if the friendship can never be what it was,
Speaker 1: you have to, you know, figure out am I okay
Speaker 1: with what it can be? And if it can't, If
Speaker 1: I'm not okay with that, then maybe you have to
Speaker 1: part with that. But it's there's no easy fix. Somebody
Speaker 1: doesn't want to be your friend. I mean, I I
Speaker 1: have to wrestle with this with my eleven year old
Speaker 1: daughter as she navigates every year there's a different group
Speaker 1: of girls in her grade and navigate through so and
Speaker 1: so who was a good friend is no longer a
Speaker 1: good friend and just help her see that because that
Speaker 1: one friend isn't there In the same way, it opens
Speaker 1: up opportunities in time for you to explore new friendships.
Speaker 1: And so I think maybe there's something to that too. No,
Speaker 1: that's great, great answer. I think that what you said
Speaker 1: about communication is by far the key, Like you got
Speaker 1: to talk to your friends period. I'm convinced that all
Speaker 1: questions can be answered by like I haven't figured out yet,
Speaker 1: but it's like six or seven answers and communication is one.
Speaker 1: And that's so this one falls under communication talk talk
Speaker 1: to her, yep, a man to talk to her. And
Speaker 1: the last one would fall under trust. Trust, just trust,
Speaker 1: trust the process, trust God, trust your spouse. You know,
Speaker 1: there's always a trust issue. And we'll maybe we'll continue
Speaker 1: to find these themes. If we do, we have to
Speaker 1: write a book about that. Yeah, every answer has one
Speaker 1: of six yes. Every question six answers. I think we
Speaker 1: let's let's talk about one more and took a break.
Speaker 1: Let me throw a couple at you guys and see
Speaker 1: if anything steps out. Mechanical bull at a wedding, trying
Speaker 1: not to be a Karen, legalistic Christians, what to do
Speaker 1: help ghosted? Any of those pop out? All right, Hey,
Speaker 1: Grangeer needs some advice from our wedding reception. My fiance
Speaker 1: and I are deciding on what entertainment to have for
Speaker 1: the guests at the beginning of the reception while we're
Speaker 1: all getting our pictures done right now, we have planned
Speaker 1: to do the typical appetizers, yard games, background music during
Speaker 1: this time, estimated about one and a half hours of
Speaker 1: down time between the ceremony and us entering the reception.
Speaker 1: He would like to have a mechanical bull with the reception.
Speaker 1: The mechanical bull is about nine hundred dollars to rent
Speaker 1: and seems too much to spend when that money could
Speaker 1: be used in other places. Now, we didn't meet at
Speaker 1: a rodeo and he doesn't ride bulls, so I don't
Speaker 1: see the reasoning behind it. Don't get me wrong, I
Speaker 1: think it would be super fun, but for us, I
Speaker 1: just think it would be a little weird. What do
Speaker 1: you guys think? What if you enjoyed at weddings that
Speaker 1: you've attended. Thanks for reading my email, Mary, Mary, you're
Speaker 1: asking the wrong group. Mary, I'll say, just the fact
Speaker 1: that you're willing to consider and entertain the idea. That's awesome. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so cool. You got to do it. I've never
Speaker 1: heard of anybody doing that, and I would never forget
Speaker 1: that of any wedding I went to they had a
Speaker 1: mechanical bull, or we could stand around and like have
Speaker 1: drinks and you know, appetizers, boring do the mechanical bull?
Speaker 1: Graduate will even pay for it? Just kidding. I don't
Speaker 1: want to volunteer for that, but I will say, besides
Speaker 1: the mechanical bull, besides any of that. This is an
Speaker 1: interesting indication of during this engagement time, of what is
Speaker 1: to come in your marriage. You think a mechanical bull
Speaker 1: is a big decision. Just wait till you have kids,
Speaker 1: Wait till you have to buy a house and you're
Speaker 1: you're you have to get a new car payment, and
Speaker 1: you're you're wanting that you needed to move for a
Speaker 1: job across the country because he got a new job offer.
Speaker 1: It only gets more complicated. Or he wants to like
Speaker 1: backpack into the remote parts of Indonesia, right, he's going
Speaker 1: to ask you that someday it'll be Really, it only
Speaker 1: gets more complicated. You're you're gonna have to You're going
Speaker 1: to have to understand the word of compromise before you
Speaker 1: get married. And Pastor Chad could maybe even jump in
Speaker 1: since he does marriage counseling. But this is if this
Speaker 1: is a big deal to you, then you need to
Speaker 1: see the bigger picture of why it's a big deal,
Speaker 1: because I would say it just like Bernie did. Hey,
Speaker 1: if you're fiance, if you love him, and he's all
Speaker 1: about the mechanical bull, and that's really what he wants,
Speaker 1: because I'm sure Mary that you have a bunch of
Speaker 1: things that you really want. If this is one of
Speaker 1: the few things, I'm assuming there's only a few things
Speaker 1: this dude wants. He wants a mechanical bull. Is it expensive?
Speaker 1: Nine hundred dollars? Yes, that's expensive. Can you compromise and
Speaker 1: give up a few of your things to make up
Speaker 1: that money? Maybe some flowers, Maybe there's something that you're
Speaker 1: doing that you could compromise a little bit and honor
Speaker 1: him in that if he was hey, if he was emailing,
Speaker 1: I would say the same thing back to him, to
Speaker 1: honor you. It's not a guy or a girl thing.
Speaker 1: I would say, I let'ld say honor that, especially right
Speaker 1: before what this day represents is huge. Yeah, I would say,
Speaker 1: there is Uh, what's the I think Bernie alluded to it.
Speaker 1: What's the win here, right, If the goal is for
Speaker 1: your guests to have an I mean an unforgettable experience
Speaker 1: while they wait and you take pictures. I've never I've
Speaker 1: been to a lot of weddings. Can we come? Can
Speaker 1: you just like invite to us? That would be sweet,
Speaker 1: but that your guests will never forget your wedding day
Speaker 1: if that happens. But if that's not your goal, then
Speaker 1: you know they make a different decision. I would also
Speaker 1: say too, it's a good opportunity like something like this
Speaker 1: for couples considering marriage or moving towards that they have
Speaker 1: to come to an understanding of how are you going
Speaker 1: to make difficult decisions? What are the what's the criteria
Speaker 1: by which you determine one way or the other? And
Speaker 1: the financial component, but what are the values that you
Speaker 1: guys have that help you make difficult decisions? Because they're
Speaker 1: only going to get harder from here, and so you've
Speaker 1: got to figure that out. How do you guys make
Speaker 1: decisions whether to move, whether to take this job, whether
Speaker 1: to you know, let this person move in for a season.
Speaker 1: There's all kinds of weird life situations that there's no
Speaker 1: book for, and you just got to figure out how
Speaker 1: you're going to make those decisions. Great stuff, Mary, honor him,
Speaker 1: go to him and just say, hey, babe, we should
Speaker 1: do it. Why Granger Smith said, so, has anyone here
Speaker 1: written a mechanical or live ball. I've been mechanical, yeah,
Speaker 1: fun not very long, but I was out there. I
Speaker 1: at least got We're going to take a break, be
Speaker 1: right back. Podcast is brought to you guys today by
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Speaker 1: interesting question that I picked out of the group and
Speaker 1: it says greater. My name is Ken. I live in
Speaker 1: beautiful Falcon, Colorado with my amazing daughter Sammy question do
Speaker 1: you feel or hear God in your heart or mind?
Speaker 1: Slash thoughts? Are these at times interchangeable for you? For myself,
Speaker 1: when I go into prayer about a decision, I'm very
Speaker 1: aware of my mind trying to justify what I want
Speaker 1: from the decision. Justifying almost always turns out to be
Speaker 1: the wrong choice. How do you receive the message? Parker?
Speaker 1: I'm kicking it off to you because it's an interesting
Speaker 1: thought and I think highly misunderstood, and I want you
Speaker 1: to go I want you to go straight reformed on us. Oh,
Speaker 1: because this is uh, this is how you start babbling
Speaker 1: in paganism if you start thinking too much about how's
Speaker 1: God speaking to me? I'm going to kick this off
Speaker 1: to No, I don't qualify. You've got this table you
Speaker 1: could crush. I'm not really following the question. If I'm
Speaker 1: being honest, and I don't know if the listener is
Speaker 1: he's asking how do you hear God? How do you
Speaker 1: hear God? And I'm fighting with my own consciousness over
Speaker 1: what God is telling me? And how do I discern
Speaker 1: the difference between its exactly exactly? M h. It's difficult,
Speaker 1: it's not easy. I think that it starts with admitting
Speaker 1: to God that you need his help, having a conversation
Speaker 1: with him daily. I know that the Bible tells us
Speaker 1: it's through the daily renewal of our minds to not hearts. Two. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. So, I mean John MacArthur passed
Speaker 1: it that I like always says, I don't know a
Speaker 1: better way for God to communicate with me what his
Speaker 1: will is than through my own desires. And that's a
Speaker 1: dangerous thing to say, because then the second part of
Speaker 1: that is, Okay, what happens if my desires aren't in
Speaker 1: line with His will? So this isn't helping very much.
Speaker 1: But I would say, no, you're right on, You're right
Speaker 1: where I wanted you to go with this. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So so then the question is, okay, well, how do
Speaker 1: I align my desires my will with God's? How do
Speaker 1: I have him give me the desires of my heart. Right,
Speaker 1: and so I think that it's in trust, it's in
Speaker 1: the daily reading of his word, it's in the seeking
Speaker 1: of wise counsel, of godly men who have been there
Speaker 1: and been in that situation before. It's through deep, honest,
Speaker 1: humble prayer and repeat those three things and and then
Speaker 1: you do whatever you want to do. Yeah. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what you would say, is you do those things and
Speaker 1: then you do whatever you want to do, because by
Speaker 1: that point he's controlling your want to, he's controlling your desire.
Speaker 1: He's putting the desires in you. Yeah, it's Psalm. I'm
Speaker 1: going to get it wrong. Somewhere in the Psalms, Yeah,
Speaker 1: says delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give
Speaker 1: you the desires of your heart. And you think about that,
Speaker 1: where is the center of delight, Well, it's in our heart.
Speaker 1: So if we delight ourselves in the Lord, then we
Speaker 1: get what our heart wants, which is Him. Right, So
Speaker 1: as I pursue Him and am satisfied in Him, then
Speaker 1: whatever I set out to do is going to glorify him.
Speaker 1: So when I delight myself and him, he will give
Speaker 1: me the desires of my heart. Some people read that
Speaker 1: and go, well, all all kind of do lip service
Speaker 1: to God, and then I'll get the ferrari, which is
Speaker 1: what I really want. Right, Well, that's not the that's
Speaker 1: not delighting yourself in the Lord truly, and so yeah,
Speaker 1: I think you're I like what you said. I think
Speaker 1: you're highly qualified. Yep. And I also say, Chad, I'm
Speaker 1: thankful that you didn't quote where that was in the
Speaker 1: psalms and you don't know, because it makes me feel
Speaker 1: a little better at the pastor of the table. Can't
Speaker 1: do it. So if I can't do it them, well,
Speaker 1: the Bible says, I love that I could have said that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. Well, I think too. Some people they
Speaker 1: go down a mystical road. They're wondering. I think we
Speaker 1: back in one of the earlier podcasts, we had somebody
Speaker 1: saying do you see God in the clouds? And some
Speaker 1: people wonder, is there like an audible voice when when
Speaker 1: Christians talk about I heard from the Lord or the
Speaker 1: Lord was showing me, and we would naturally go, okay, well,
Speaker 1: is there an apparition in the room or is there
Speaker 1: a voice that you hear, or are there signs that
Speaker 1: you're looking for, and they want there to be some
Speaker 1: something more magical or mystical. Then he's revealed himself in
Speaker 1: his Word. He speaks by the Holy Spirit through his body,
Speaker 1: which are the body of believers. And so he has
Speaker 1: revealed himself in creation to a certain extent, right, not
Speaker 1: in the clouds or whatever, but the clouds declare his glory.
Speaker 1: So we don't look for these magical mystical experiences. He's spoken,
Speaker 1: He's revealed himself in the Word. And there's an analogy
Speaker 1: about how the Holy Spirit works that's always helped me
Speaker 1: to say, to understand the things that people claim are
Speaker 1: happening via the Holy Spirit, like are they legitimate or not?
Speaker 1: And if you've ever been to Washington, DC and gone
Speaker 1: to check out all the monuments, have you guys been, Yeah, incredible.
Speaker 1: And the best time to go is at night because
Speaker 1: then not only is it not super hot, because I've
Speaker 1: only ever been there in the summer and it's really
Speaker 1: hot there, but the way the lights illuminate and bring
Speaker 1: to life some of these monuments, and the fascinating thing
Speaker 1: that I noticed one time when walking through there, I
Speaker 1: can always see the monuments in the Korean War Memorial
Speaker 1: or the Vietnam Memorial or the Lincoln Memorial. You can
Speaker 1: see them and they're perfectly lit up. But what you
Speaker 1: never notice is the actual light bulb that's doing it.
Speaker 1: They're always like recessed in the ground or behind a
Speaker 1: shrub or but you never can see the glare of
Speaker 1: a bulb. You just see the light that it produces,
Speaker 1: and it illuminates the monument the thing that you came
Speaker 1: to see. And that is exactly like the ministry of
Speaker 1: the Holy Spirit. That his goal, the reason why he
Speaker 1: was sent, was to manifest and make known Christ. And
Speaker 1: so if a thing that we're claiming is of the
Speaker 1: Spirit of God, if it doesn't make much of Jesus
Speaker 1: and cause us to look to him and exalt him,
Speaker 1: then it may not be of the spirit, because his
Speaker 1: whole goal is to get us to look and see
Speaker 1: the wonderful works of God through Jesus Christ. That's so good, Kenya.
Speaker 1: This is never as complicated as you think. If you're reading,
Speaker 1: if you're deep in the Word, you're deep in prayer,
Speaker 1: if you're surrounding yourself, like Parker said, with wise counsel
Speaker 1: of godly men, then at that point you literally do
Speaker 1: what you want because at that point, God is controlling
Speaker 1: your wants. That is, it's so simple that it's revolutionary.
Speaker 1: But don't sit around and think I don't hear anything God.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to listen for you, and I don't hear
Speaker 1: you talking. He's not going to talk to you because
Speaker 1: he only did that a few times to some of
Speaker 1: the prophets, but everybody else in the Bible, he did
Speaker 1: it through their desires and they're once. So yeah, there
Speaker 1: you go. Brother, Let's let's find how about this? Uh,
Speaker 1: Let's see if I can get one that's not about God.
Speaker 1: I get so many questions about God. Now this one
Speaker 1: says trying not to be a Karen Hey, Granger and Guest.
Speaker 1: I have a situation i'd like to get your input on.
Speaker 1: I'm currently married and been married for seven years. We
Speaker 1: have one child. We are having issues such as communication, trust,
Speaker 1: et cetera. He works out of town a lot. I'm
Speaker 1: wondering do I put in the effort to fix the
Speaker 1: relationship or give up and go our own ways. I
Speaker 1: have asked to seek couples counseling and I got a
Speaker 1: maybe from him. I have also looked into divorce. I
Speaker 1: truly don't know what to do. Thanks for your input, Karen.
Speaker 1: Let me start by this, Karen, is their abuse evolved involved?
Speaker 1: Is there is there cheating involved? Is your Yeah, she
Speaker 1: jumped pretty quick from yeah he works out of town
Speaker 1: and or sorry we're having trouble communicating? Should I just
Speaker 1: leave and like get divorced? And whoa? There's a lot
Speaker 1: in between there that we don't know what's going on.
Speaker 1: I guess there should be. If it's if she's making
Speaker 1: that leap, there must be something. Is your child in danger?
Speaker 1: If you answer no to any of those questions, then
Speaker 1: absolutely do not give up. Don't that that is That
Speaker 1: is a huge problem in society today. Marriage is not
Speaker 1: does not have an exit plan that doesn't come with contingencies.
Speaker 1: That's not what it's about. And so you can't get
Speaker 1: in your head that that's even a possibility. The D
Speaker 1: word is out. Unless your child's in danger, unless you're
Speaker 1: in danger, unless he unless he is cheated and will
Speaker 1: not repent to you. Because even if he cheated, you
Speaker 1: could you still got to try to hold it together. Parker,
Speaker 1: you're you're the single man of the group. Well, you're
Speaker 1: the one that's not married out of this group. I
Speaker 1: know that you you're not looking at marriage in your
Speaker 1: future as something that's going to have an explan to it.
Speaker 1: You're not ever going to get into a marriage where
Speaker 1: you might have to ask I don't know what to do,
Speaker 1: should just give up? Right? Yeah? I think, Uh, that's
Speaker 1: kind of why I was interested in going to the
Speaker 1: ghosting question after this one, so that you don't end
Speaker 1: up in this situation because that next girl, I'm assuming
Speaker 1: he's going to say, there's a guy who just who
Speaker 1: led me on and was talking to me, and then
Speaker 1: now he's gone, and I have no idea, and I
Speaker 1: feel really wronged and cheated and I want him back.
Speaker 1: What do I do? It's like, you thank God that
Speaker 1: you didn't marry that guy, and he got out of
Speaker 1: your life and made the decision for you. So I
Speaker 1: think it just starts with understanding the seriousness and gravity
Speaker 1: of what marriage is, yes, and that you're bringing God
Speaker 1: into this relationship to become one. I think that one
Speaker 1: of the biggest problems with society today is we just
Speaker 1: don't take that seriously. That doesn't really help her in
Speaker 1: this situation now, except for the fact that she needs
Speaker 1: to fight, and only I mean, unless it was really
Speaker 1: really really bad. Like you said, would you consider that child?
Speaker 1: Did she mention like relationship with God or like no? No.
Speaker 1: That's kind of why I read it because one of
Speaker 1: the few that don't say God. Okay. So second question
Speaker 1: would be what what when you say like fight for
Speaker 1: it practically? What does Karen need to do? I would
Speaker 1: say this with Karen, I would say I would go
Speaker 1: to him and go, Honey, I know you're wishy washy
Speaker 1: about going to counseling, but we're going to do it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do it me and you are going to
Speaker 1: do it because I love you, and I made a
Speaker 1: vow to love you until death, through sickness, through trouble.
Speaker 1: We made a vow and I will stand by you.
Speaker 1: We have if anything, we have a child that this
Speaker 1: will devastate. Look at the statistics, it will devastate that
Speaker 1: You're you're teeter tottering here with devastating this child or
Speaker 1: putting this child on a path that's just rough. It's common,
Speaker 1: it's like fifty percent or whatever, but very common, but rough.
Speaker 1: Why would you put your child through something rough when
Speaker 1: you're right here it sounds like you just don't want
Speaker 1: to do it, And so I would say, we're going
Speaker 1: to do counseling. I don't want to. Well I'm not
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not saying if we I don't want
Speaker 1: to either, but we have to. And and and I
Speaker 1: would just say, what's the kind of what what is
Speaker 1: a counseling that would make you feel comfortable? What is ah,
Speaker 1: should we go to a male or a female or
Speaker 1: a you know, I just find a compromise. But you
Speaker 1: got to make it work. Yeah, I think, like Bernie
Speaker 1: pointed out, there's just there was a huge leap, and
Speaker 1: there's it seems like there's a lot of information that
Speaker 1: we just are privy to that if you were here
Speaker 1: at the count campfire, we'd have a lot of questions
Speaker 1: and ask what you have tried to do and what
Speaker 1: you've explored and when did this start to happen? When
Speaker 1: did you start to experience this kind of distance and
Speaker 1: try to kind of get some more context to it.
Speaker 1: But I think, as you said, and you pointed out,
Speaker 1: uh Granger, that unless there's this, this, this, this and
Speaker 1: this fight, get into it and what does that look like?
Speaker 1: It it means getting into the communication and yeah, calling engaging.
Speaker 1: Are you able to go on some of these trips
Speaker 1: with him, and what would that look like for you
Speaker 1: guys to accompany him on within this travel and just
Speaker 1: be a part of what is going on? Is there, yeah,
Speaker 1: a way to challenge him to be to be more
Speaker 1: engaged at home? And it says, what's seven years America?
Speaker 1: Seven years? Yeah? Their kid doesn't say kids. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: since we don't have all those answers, Karen, I would
Speaker 1: just suggest find a group of ladies or maybe find
Speaker 1: a counselor yourself that you can ask these questions and
Speaker 1: they can kind of walk through and guide you a
Speaker 1: little bit more specifically through the through the process, and
Speaker 1: they can maybe hold your hand whatever is going to happen.
Speaker 1: That you can actually have real life people kind of
Speaker 1: that will sit in cry with you and laugh with
Speaker 1: you and whatever through this. And then serve your husband
Speaker 1: be in the word serve your husband until and I
Speaker 1: hope everybody understands what I mean by serve your husband.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean like go get his beer and deliver
Speaker 1: his food. That means like we take the posture of
Speaker 1: humility and when we're just soaking in God's word, that
Speaker 1: that's what it's gonna do to us. It's gonna it's
Speaker 1: gonna make us want to like think of others and
Speaker 1: like serving them and thinking of them. And if that's
Speaker 1: not happening now, and it starts to maybe that's something
Speaker 1: that your husband recognizes, like, man, something's something's changing, and
Speaker 1: you know, could be the start of something. But absolutely,
Speaker 1: what does it mean to be a Karen? I think
Speaker 1: I've been told this before, Dude, I'm so, but I
Speaker 1: think my kids have tried to explain it to me.
Speaker 1: What sounds like a Parker crush? Yeah, what is a Karen? Well,
Speaker 1: a Karen is somebody who is just a complainer and
Speaker 1: is typically having a bad time wherever she goes. The
Speaker 1: very first original Karen actually originated from somebody who's likely
Speaker 1: to ask to speak to the manager at a restaurant,
Speaker 1: at a business, somebody who's not happy with the service
Speaker 1: that they think they deserve. So it comes with a
Speaker 1: sense of entitlement and typically imagine like a brunch, everybody's
Speaker 1: just trying to have a good time. Karen asked for
Speaker 1: her dressing on the side, she got on top. She
Speaker 1: wants to speak to the manager who's going to make
Speaker 1: a big order a lot of it. Yeah, Karen calls
Speaker 1: the homeowners association because your grass is getting long or
Speaker 1: your train still out. There was this like in a
Speaker 1: skit somewhere or on the innywhere on social media where
Speaker 1: it would it's typically a woman in her you know,
Speaker 1: mid forties, big black sunglasses, highlighted hair typically down to
Speaker 1: the shoulders, and an I part again or a fur jacket,
Speaker 1: and it says girl with hair like this have a
Speaker 1: twelve out of ten chance of asking to speak to
Speaker 1: the manager. And I can totally visualize this person, Karen.
Speaker 1: I know quite a few Karens. I'm well, what that said? Thanks,
Speaker 1: So the subject line was I'm trying not to be
Speaker 1: a Karen. Look when it's your marriage that that doesn't count,
Speaker 1: doesn't count, that doesn't count. I want to go to
Speaker 1: ghosted because Parker remembered the title ghosted and I think
Speaker 1: it's going to be exactly what you thought it was
Speaker 1: going to be, and said I like to remain anonymous,
Speaker 1: but this is honestly kind of petty. The guy I've
Speaker 1: been seeing for the last two months has ghosted me.
Speaker 1: He seemed to be a strong believer, so I didn't
Speaker 1: expect to get ghosted, especially since the last text he
Speaker 1: sent was checking to see how I felt things were
Speaker 1: going between us. Actually kind of sounds like a problem.
Speaker 1: I want to make another online dating profile just to
Speaker 1: catfish him, but I'm thinking that that's not turning the
Speaker 1: other cheek. What do you think? I've tried everything to
Speaker 1: meet a strong believer, but it just hasn't happened. I've
Speaker 1: visited other churches, asked friends if they know God the guys,
Speaker 1: to Texas for a blind date, and eventually tried online dating.
Speaker 1: I went to a Christian college in grad school. Do
Speaker 1: you have any tips for meeting God the guys? As
Speaker 1: I'm getting closer to thirty, I started to give up
Speaker 1: hope of getting married and having kids. Maybe it's God's
Speaker 1: will for me to be single. Thanks Anonymous Parker. There
Speaker 1: are some terms in there you needed to find. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for sure. Oh man, Okay, there's a lot to unpack here.
Speaker 1: I'm hearing online dating, for one, not to say that
Speaker 1: you can't find someone with an online dating profile. Probably
Speaker 1: what's your criteria for finding somebody in an online dating
Speaker 1: You're just seeing a picture of them. I'm hearing that
Speaker 1: you thought he was a believer, but his actions, I
Speaker 1: like to say his actions are speaking, so loud that
Speaker 1: I can't hear what he's saying. So I think that
Speaker 1: I like the saying also, of the heart wants what
Speaker 1: it's fed. Don't follow your heart, inform your heart. So
Speaker 1: I think that she's in a spot right now where
Speaker 1: she can kind of ask herself, what is it that
Speaker 1: is making me attracted to these types of men that
Speaker 1: are doing this, that are maybe saying that their believers
Speaker 1: are saying that they're good guys, but their actions are
Speaker 1: speaking otherwise. I would I would just encourage her to
Speaker 1: also do a deep dive into trying to find contentment
Speaker 1: in her singleness. Now it's that I'm hearing a little
Speaker 1: bit of borderline being desperate and finding validation in a spouse.
Speaker 1: You're not going to be able to find somebody to
Speaker 1: completely complete you. You would only find that through God
Speaker 1: and through who He says you are. So it's just
Speaker 1: what a great opportunity now it's to focus on herself
Speaker 1: and her relationship with God and to truly have an
Speaker 1: honest conversation with herself. Of am I sounds like she's
Speaker 1: going to these different churches trying to find a guy,
Speaker 1: flying out of state to try to find a guy.
Speaker 1: I would just encourage her to you know. Aside, note,
Speaker 1: don't do that. Don't fly to another state for a
Speaker 1: blind date please, especially if it's online. I hope that
Speaker 1: this is what that wasn't from all, that's just dangerous. Yeah, sorry,
Speaker 1: go ahead, Yeah, agreed. I think that one of the
Speaker 1: best ways, one of the best pieces of advice at
Speaker 1: this point in my life that I can give to
Speaker 1: finding a spouse is first off, setting your non negotiables
Speaker 1: of what you're looking for in a spouse, what's important
Speaker 1: to you, of what's going to make a good husband
Speaker 1: and father. Like I said, finding contentment in your singleness
Speaker 1: now and saying even if I don't find someone, I
Speaker 1: will truly be content. It's one thing to say, it's
Speaker 1: another thing to really believe it, and then to find
Speaker 1: that joy and peace that's found through Christ and getting
Speaker 1: involved with your church. And then if you find someone
Speaker 1: else who's running toward him as fast as you are,
Speaker 1: then yes, you'll consider it. That's exactly my thought is
Speaker 1: that Anonymous here has spoke many times about Christians. She
Speaker 1: went to Christian college, she's talking to Christian friends about
Speaker 1: Christian guys. He assumed her X was a Christian. She's
Speaker 1: saying visited churches. She's thrown that out so much, but
Speaker 1: nothing in here screams you're pursuing Christ. This is the
Speaker 1: fundamental element of being a Christian, is passionately pursuing Christ.
Speaker 1: It's not a heritage or a it's not even really
Speaker 1: a religion. We like to say, it's not even really
Speaker 1: a religion in that sense. It's passionately pursuing a relationship
Speaker 1: with Christ. And that doesn't sound like you. I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to be rude, but that doesn't sound like that's
Speaker 1: not screening from your email that you're doing that you're
Speaker 1: wanting everybody else to and you're wanting to surround yourself
Speaker 1: with people that are. But I don't feel that from you.
Speaker 1: And I think Parker said it right. You're if you
Speaker 1: passionately pursue Christ, then you're going to find somebody that's
Speaker 1: side by side parallel with you doing the same thing,
Speaker 1: and you're going to turn and go, oh, hey, look
Speaker 1: at you. Right, Yeah, that's so good. Y'all need to
Speaker 1: rewind back to when Parker first started and listen to
Speaker 1: that one more time. That was really good, dude, That
Speaker 1: whole thing. I think that to ask something that what
Speaker 1: a lot of people would be saying, is hold on Granger.
Speaker 1: I do know a lot of Christians because they've said
Speaker 1: the prayer, and the Bible says that when we say
Speaker 1: the prayer and we accept Christ into our heart. Did
Speaker 1: it when I was twelve at church and I meant it.
Speaker 1: I do think that I'm a Christian. I do think
Speaker 1: that all my friends are Christian. What do you think
Speaker 1: is the difference between what you're saying of someone who's
Speaker 1: passionately pursuing and what the world views a Christian as
Speaker 1: now in America. I think it's a big problem. Thing's
Speaker 1: a massive problem. I think there's a lot of self
Speaker 1: proclaiming Christians that don't even really know what that means.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to throw shade. I've walked that walk before,
Speaker 1: and I think it's a very dangerous walk. So, so,
Speaker 1: what's the difference is someone passionately pursuing Christ versus someone
Speaker 1: who has professed his name. Maybe this is a good
Speaker 1: Chad question. Well, in the Gospel of Matthew and Luke,
Speaker 1: there's a an instance where Jesus he has entered Jerusalem
Speaker 1: and the triumphal entry has happened, and he's getting closer
Speaker 1: and closer to the events leading up to the Crucifixion.
Speaker 1: And after they enter they have to actually go and
Speaker 1: leave to a small community called Bethany to stay there
Speaker 1: for the night. So they're leaving and on their return
Speaker 1: to Jerusalem, they see off in a distance, it says,
Speaker 1: a fig tree full of leaves, and all of a
Speaker 1: sudden this expectation that, oh, there's a fig tree with
Speaker 1: leaves on it. And the indication is that in that region,
Speaker 1: when a fig tree has leaves, it means that it's
Speaker 1: bearing fruit. It's in the season for bearing fruit, and
Speaker 1: the text even says it wasn't the season for figs. However,
Speaker 1: this tree had leaves on it, so it looked like
Speaker 1: it was going to be fruit bearing. And when they
Speaker 1: get up closer because they're hungry, they find this tree
Speaker 1: does not actually have any fruit on it. And so
Speaker 1: then Jesus curses this fig tree and it shrivels up
Speaker 1: and dies right moment or the next day. And so
Speaker 1: I think the sober warning there is for believers to
Speaker 1: not just look like they're a believer, and that they
Speaker 1: say the right things and they go and do the
Speaker 1: right They go to the church and they check the box.
Speaker 1: But are they bearing fruit? Because we don't want to
Speaker 1: be a fig tree that looks like it should be
Speaker 1: bearing fruit. Right it claims that it's a Christian, but
Speaker 1: there's no fruit found in our lives. And fruitfulness is
Speaker 1: not only the fruit of the spirit love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
Speaker 1: self control, but also the mark of a follower of
Speaker 1: Christ is that you are causing others to meet Jesus
Speaker 1: and following follow him right, discipleship, evangelism, you're bearing fruit.
Speaker 1: You're causing other believers to occur, because that's what fruit does.
Speaker 1: For a tree. It has seeds in it and it
Speaker 1: produces other things like it, And so are we causing
Speaker 1: others around us. So, if that's the pursuit of Christ
Speaker 1: that's happening, it's gonna bear fruit, and you're gonna see
Speaker 1: it really right away. You're gonna be able to detect
Speaker 1: is somebody genuinely following Christ or not? If you were
Speaker 1: at that level. And I kept thinking, man, she is
Speaker 1: painted a picture or for us. I don't know if
Speaker 1: she intended to of a strong pursuit of men right she.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing a lot of time and energy and emotion
Speaker 1: is spent thinking about and posturing life and time and
Speaker 1: in pursuit of finding the guy. And I just what
Speaker 1: if that level of intentionality was put on pursuing the Lord?
Speaker 1: What would change in her life and her joy? So
Speaker 1: pastor correct me if I'm wrong, or guide me in this.
Speaker 1: But hey, guys, we've got a couple of minutes before
Speaker 1: this is going to break again. So I'm kind of
Speaker 1: proposing we do one more round. Okay, now do you
Speaker 1: hold that thought? Kick off another round, take a break,
Speaker 1: kick off another round. We'll leave with that, all right,
Speaker 1: get it back? All right, we're going extra long episode
Speaker 1: one hundred. I haven't even said how grateful I am
Speaker 1: that this podcast has lasted that long. It took a
Speaker 1: turn about episode fifty and turned into this, which I'm
Speaker 1: so grateful for. And Parker had a big part to
Speaker 1: do with that. We were trying to decide the direction
Speaker 1: of the podcast, and I was coming up with content
Speaker 1: and I was telling stories, and at some point Parker
Speaker 1: was like, man, we just answer questions, answer people's questions.
Speaker 1: That way, I don't have to worry about being creative
Speaker 1: every week, and I could actually be consistent about putting
Speaker 1: out the podcast, and then that turned in that was
Speaker 1: all it was, and then it turned into something so
Speaker 1: much more meaningful. So let's continue and burnieu. I don't
Speaker 1: want to leave you hanging. Yeah. So Chad was just
Speaker 1: referring to the fig tree, Jesus and the disciples walking
Speaker 1: back into Jerusalem, right, and I was just going to
Speaker 1: get some feedback from him on more of the specifics
Speaker 1: of what's happening there. We were talking about this I
Speaker 1: don't remember her name, Anonymous, pursuing these relationships with these
Speaker 1: Christian guys, and we kind of were discussing the you know,
Speaker 1: the adjective of Christian in front of something, and I
Speaker 1: just wanted to hear what Chad, you know, had to
Speaker 1: say about the fact that in that same passage that
Speaker 1: you know, asking like, was Jesus was referring to the
Speaker 1: nation of Israel and that was it was a metaphor,
Speaker 1: and that that tree the leaves were representing this religiousness
Speaker 1: that they that they had, that they showed they had
Speaker 1: the adjective in front of their name, that they were this,
Speaker 1: they were God's people, they were God's people. But yet
Speaker 1: there was no fruit. And what Jesus turns and says
Speaker 1: to the disciples is if you have faith and you
Speaker 1: do not doubt, you will say to this mountain, move
Speaker 1: and it will be so loosely right. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1: That's it. And just for some context, as they're walking
Speaker 1: back into Jerusalem, he doesn't say, you'll say to a mountain.
Speaker 1: He says to this mountain, and they're facing the mountain
Speaker 1: that the temple was on. And so what we're we're
Speaker 1: guessing and what we're thinking that Jesus is alluding to
Speaker 1: is that, hey, with your little bit of faith and
Speaker 1: with you believing in not doubting, like you will be
Speaker 1: the church. Yeah. And it's not in the substance of
Speaker 1: the things you do. It's not in the show of religiosity.
Speaker 1: It's in the substance of faith, trusting purely in the
Speaker 1: work of God through Christ. And it's interesting that if
Speaker 1: the reference is and we can we can extrapolate that,
Speaker 1: it's probably that and if it is, the temple represents
Speaker 1: and that's that's where people would go to meet with God.
Speaker 1: That's where the dwelling place, the dwelling place, that's where
Speaker 1: they would have interaction with God. That's where atonement for sin,
Speaker 1: like where their sin was dealt with through the sacrificial system,
Speaker 1: and so everything that the tuple represents, like he's literally
Speaker 1: saying that that all of that, right, could you know
Speaker 1: that's found in Christ through faith? And so the substance
Speaker 1: of faith is not the show of religiosity or the
Speaker 1: adjective oh yeah, I'm a Christian. It's it's truly a
Speaker 1: life of trusting God and the fruit that that produces
Speaker 1: in your life not working for your salvation. You're working
Speaker 1: as a result from that salvation. This is not a
Speaker 1: that we're not sliding mis anonymous here. That's that emailed.
Speaker 1: But we're just making a point and everyone listening has
Speaker 1: they're thinking, Actually, I was wondering about that person that
Speaker 1: says they're such a big Christian, but I don't see it. Well,
Speaker 1: that's a bunch of leaves and no fruit. So where
Speaker 1: you could see the proof always in the fruit. You
Speaker 1: guys know what I'm talking about here. I want to
Speaker 1: go to a question that I haven't I don't think
Speaker 1: I've seen anything like this before, and it's an interesting
Speaker 1: thing to address it. Says Hey Grangee, this is Cindy
Speaker 1: from Chico, California. I love all your podcasts and I
Speaker 1: love the Smiths. I have a question that maybe you
Speaker 1: could help me counsel on. I live with my adult
Speaker 1: child and their other half. They have no income, and
Speaker 1: it seems like they are happy that way. I want
Speaker 1: to find another place to live, but my dilemma is
Speaker 1: that I can't find the place big enough for the
Speaker 1: three of us on a fixed income. But if I
Speaker 1: leave them, they will be penniless, and I've tried that
Speaker 1: once before. They just keep coming to me asking me
Speaker 1: for money to get things they need so that I
Speaker 1: can support them. My question is how do I do
Speaker 1: what's best for me and not feel like I'm abandoning
Speaker 1: them and doing them wrong. In the end, I should
Speaker 1: add that my child has a disability that prevents them
Speaker 1: from getting a job and change that. Man, I was,
Speaker 1: I was about to go into that last sentence. I was,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what I was going to say, because
Speaker 1: it might not be that far off. But Cindy, I
Speaker 1: hope you know that what you're doing out of love
Speaker 1: can and maybe a form of child abuse. Oh that's shocking,
Speaker 1: But what you're doing out of love in your mind
Speaker 1: may be a form of child abuse. Until you said
Speaker 1: that your child has a disability, and then once again
Speaker 1: we would have to ask, well, what what disability is it?
Speaker 1: They have a spouse, so there, if they're functioning with
Speaker 1: a spouse, I would want to question, like why why
Speaker 1: can't they get a job? Why can't this the the
Speaker 1: better half get a job? But you are you are
Speaker 1: right to think at some level that it is time
Speaker 1: that you took care of yourself. You got to take
Speaker 1: care of yourself. It is this is the scenario of
Speaker 1: the airplane where the mask, the oxygen masks pop out.
Speaker 1: You put yours on first, and then your child, and
Speaker 1: it sounds like you're constantly putting the oxygen mask on
Speaker 1: your child and you're running out of air and you
Speaker 1: can't breathe anymore. And it doesn't matter if they're an
Speaker 1: infant or an adult with a disability. You've got to
Speaker 1: put the mask on that. I can't say that these days,
Speaker 1: the oxygen mask on you first, because if you don't,
Speaker 1: if you're not breathing, you can't help anybody. So Burns,
Speaker 1: where are you going with this? M Yeah, I do.
Speaker 1: The only thing she said about the disability is that
Speaker 1: it keeps him from getting a job. Right, It's interesting
Speaker 1: that she put them every time something like that, the
Speaker 1: sex of the child, Ye, the pronoun deal. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I griz, I think you nailed it. I don't know
Speaker 1: if there's much more to this man like she well, no,
Speaker 1: the more is what does she do now? Yeah? Right, Like,
Speaker 1: let's give her a let's give her a point of action. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think it's communication. You got to talk with the kids.
Speaker 1: I think, I mean again, just not knowing like the
Speaker 1: ages of them and a lot of story like, but
Speaker 1: I think you got to talk with them and communicate. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm not in a healthy place here and I want
Speaker 1: us all to be healthy. One. Maybe she doesn't even
Speaker 1: maybe she recognizes it, that's why she's writing in. First
Speaker 1: of all, it's a tough situation. I admire you for
Speaker 1: fighting through this and like help doing what you think
Speaker 1: you know you can do for your disabled child. I
Speaker 1: know that that probably wasn't an easy upbringing, so recognize
Speaker 1: the struggle you've been through. But also hopefully you have
Speaker 1: prepared them enough. They do have a spouse. I think
Speaker 1: you have the conversation and maybe whenever it becomes a
Speaker 1: group dialogue, hey guys, let's get a plan together, because
Speaker 1: we all know this isn't going to continue. Y'all are broke.
Speaker 1: I'm almost broke. This place isn't big enough. What do
Speaker 1: we do? And so maybe bring him into the discussion
Speaker 1: and just kind of see and if they're just apathetic
Speaker 1: and like they don't want to contribute anything, then I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: so you can you can respond in that way. I
Speaker 1: have a big problem with this. If the disability is
Speaker 1: lower back pain or a bad need, that's true. He
Speaker 1: disability keeps him from getting I think us, all four
Speaker 1: of us kind of thought mental disability, yeah, but severe. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this could be struggles with lower back pain. Yeah, can't
Speaker 1: lift anything. And if there if it's a disability that
Speaker 1: does not allow for them to work, then there's probably
Speaker 1: some sort of assistance, like financial assistance that's available. I
Speaker 1: would think, will you unpack why you said it's child abuse?
Speaker 1: Because if you are enabling an adult to live with
Speaker 1: mommy and to live off mommy's food and money, you
Speaker 1: are It is a a not talked about form, but
Speaker 1: it is a major form of child abuse because you
Speaker 1: are you are by through your enabling, you are disabling
Speaker 1: them from growing and learning and going into the world
Speaker 1: and facing adversity and getting getting a job and losing
Speaker 1: a job and get in hunting for a job again,
Speaker 1: or getting some form of education or skill or trade.
Speaker 1: You're you're inhibiting that by enabling them to feel comfortable,
Speaker 1: and that is a form of abuse. Yeah, it's almost
Speaker 1: like emotional like the physical would be like if you
Speaker 1: tiede your kid's hands together, people be like, that's child abuse.
Speaker 1: It's like your emotion. Yeah, kind of exact tying their
Speaker 1: hands together, not letting them, you know, learn how to
Speaker 1: use them. This is interesting, Cindy. It says your last
Speaker 1: and it says I will be seeing you in my
Speaker 1: hometown on November sixteenth. What I want you to do,
Speaker 1: Cindy is I've never done this on this podcast, but
Speaker 1: i want you to email back that week and I'm
Speaker 1: going to get you a meet and greet on me,
Speaker 1: Brie on me. I'm going to get you a meet
Speaker 1: and greet, get you backstage. I'll get to put a
Speaker 1: face to the name. I've just never done this on
Speaker 1: this podcast. To be able to put a face to
Speaker 1: the name and the story. I want to hug your
Speaker 1: neck and I want to I want to see you
Speaker 1: and I want to hear if there's been any kind
Speaker 1: of form of action, and if not, I want to
Speaker 1: hear it for myself. But I want to meet you
Speaker 1: in Chico and and you sound like you sound like
Speaker 1: you're ready, You sound like you're in, You're in a
Speaker 1: in a place to change, and I'm excited for you.
Speaker 1: So we got Chico and bull ride wherever. That is okay? Cool?
Speaker 1: So this could go a lot of different ways here.
Speaker 1: How to introduce prayer to a two and a half
Speaker 1: year old life after loss? Getting into the word career,
Speaker 1: life advice, faith help for Chad? I think I think
Speaker 1: it means from a timely advice question and legalistic Christians.
Speaker 1: I picked side note. Everything I picked for the podcast
Speaker 1: today is fresh, like these emails just came in. I
Speaker 1: kept it all just right this week. Yeah, I'm on Jeopardy.
Speaker 1: I'll take getting into the word. That's great, I don't
Speaker 1: I feel like we've covered a lot of different topics today.
Speaker 1: Does anything jump out to you? We've covered lost relationships.
Speaker 1: I kind of wanted to get into how to introduce
Speaker 1: a prayer to a two and a half year old? Yeah, hey,
Speaker 1: gring your my name is Monica and I'm the mother
Speaker 1: of two boys. Growing up, I was raised in a
Speaker 1: very religious household. Ever since college, having children, COVID, and
Speaker 1: all the other crazy events going on in today's world,
Speaker 1: my husband and I have been horrible about making time
Speaker 1: for church and prayer. How did you introduce your children
Speaker 1: to God in prayer? What are some activities or conversations
Speaker 1: we could have with our sons to bring God back
Speaker 1: into our lives. My husband and I have been to
Speaker 1: your concert numerous times. We cannot wait to see you
Speaker 1: back in San Diego. Thanks Monica. The bigger concern than
Speaker 1: the children, This is like the oxygen mask thing. You know,
Speaker 1: you're worried about the children. When I'm looking at you, going, hey,
Speaker 1: you got to get your oxygen mask on. You said
Speaker 1: you've been horrible about making time for church and prayer.
Speaker 1: And I love to say I love to quote this
Speaker 1: paraphrasing quote from Martin Luther when he said, I'm so
Speaker 1: busy right now. It's going to take me weeks to
Speaker 1: pray through all these things. And I love that medieval
Speaker 1: concept of prayer that was probably a lot closer to
Speaker 1: what the Apostles wanted us to think about it and
Speaker 1: Jesus wanted us to think about it. Where it's like
Speaker 1: the busier you are, the more you better be praying.
Speaker 1: And I think we've totally gotten away from that, And
Speaker 1: you say, crazy events today's world. You've you guys have
Speaker 1: been busy with having children in college and COVID, and
Speaker 1: you've been horrible about making time. Well, the first way
Speaker 1: to introduce your kids to God, like your question is saying,
Speaker 1: is for you to engulf yourself in God. Kid comes
Speaker 1: out of their room and catches you on your knees
Speaker 1: praying for them. That is the best example you could show.
Speaker 1: That is better than any recited dinner time prayer or
Speaker 1: nighttime go to sleep, have good dreams prayer. They walk
Speaker 1: in on mommy on her knees, eyes clenched, clothes, and
Speaker 1: her hands clasped praying for the salvation of their child.
Speaker 1: That's a beautiful image for a child to walk into.
Speaker 1: And and everything after that is going to trickle down.
Speaker 1: You put that oxygen mask on first, you make time
Speaker 1: for that church. Don't tell me you're too busy for church.
Speaker 1: Everybody listening, don't tell me you're too busy. You're talking
Speaker 1: to four busy guys here. Don't tell us or anyone
Speaker 1: else you're too busy to go to church on Sunday.
Speaker 1: Find a time. There is a church in your town.
Speaker 1: You're in San Diego, monic, I'm not yelling at you.
Speaker 1: He's just far up our church somewhere. Chad could look
Speaker 1: one up if you don't have one. Chad is good
Speaker 1: at finding churches. But there is one that has a
Speaker 1: service time that matches your schedule. It might be five
Speaker 1: o'clock on a Saturday, it might be five o'clock on
Speaker 1: a Sunday PM. It might be eleven am on Sunday.
Speaker 1: But there is there is a service and that you
Speaker 1: can give an hour and a half to And if
Speaker 1: you make that a priority, and you show your kids
Speaker 1: that we're getting dressed, we're going to church, why because
Speaker 1: we love God in this house? Then then everything, like
Speaker 1: I said, everything trickles down to you your original question
Speaker 1: of how to introduce God. All right, I'll stop preaching.
Speaker 1: Now he's got this. Now that's good. I think. On
Speaker 1: one of the podcasts Grangeer, you answered a question similar
Speaker 1: to this with how you prayed with London like that
Speaker 1: night before maybe it was Lincoln the night before, And
Speaker 1: I really liked it and appreciated how you said, like
Speaker 1: you don't just go in and say like a recited prayer,
Speaker 1: but you're like very specific whenever you pray with them,
Speaker 1: and I thought that that was cool. I started using
Speaker 1: that too. I think anytime, like meal times. I know
Speaker 1: it may seem cliche, but that has been when my
Speaker 1: kids are really little, a given opportunity because I'm not
Speaker 1: going to miss a meal, yes right, unless intentionally. And
Speaker 1: so we're gonna sit down and everyone's excited about food.
Speaker 1: So I would ask them, you know, what's your favorite
Speaker 1: part of this meal that we're about to have? And
Speaker 1: isn't it cool that God made food to be yummy? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's He's a god that wants us to enjoy stuff.
Speaker 1: Isn't that awesome? What's your favorite thing? And you just
Speaker 1: kind of have them go around and go, okay, you
Speaker 1: say thanks God for this being yummy. Thanks God, and
Speaker 1: you just at two and a half, they know that
Speaker 1: there's things they like, there's things that they get excited about.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they get scared, and so we would always talk
Speaker 1: to our kids like, you can absolutely come to us
Speaker 1: at night if you have a nightmare or you're scared,
Speaker 1: but you can also begin by just asking God to
Speaker 1: help you get through this. And so giving them real
Speaker 1: practical They eat all the time and they like yummy things,
Speaker 1: and God could have made everything taste like wood or something,
Speaker 1: but it's yummy. So thank you God. That tells us
Speaker 1: a little bit about him that he wants us to
Speaker 1: have joy and experience the pleasure of food, and so
Speaker 1: thank you for that. Have you guys ever had kids,
Speaker 1: or I know Parker, you've probably seen it with my kids,
Speaker 1: but have you ever seen kids really little walking around
Speaker 1: acting like they're talking on the phone and they're using
Speaker 1: a toy because they're imitating adults. Yep, they're seeing that.
Speaker 1: So imagine, imagine an invitation of a prayer. I'm doing
Speaker 1: what Daddy does, closes his eyes and puts his hands
Speaker 1: together and he talks to God. I love seeing their
Speaker 1: little personalities come out, too, because each one of my
Speaker 1: kids will pray differently, like Boston's very like to the
Speaker 1: point like here I think for this food, Amy, Yeah,
Speaker 1: and Stella is like thirty minute sermon on her friends
Speaker 1: at school and her teacher and all of this different stuff,
Speaker 1: and then you'll get to the food so we can eat.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, you're right, they're they're watching us to
Speaker 1: see how we do it, but it's also cool to
Speaker 1: kind of see how each one of them approach it.
Speaker 1: You know, their personalities start to kind of come out too.
Speaker 1: Have you ever heard them like sign off on a
Speaker 1: prayer like you do, and you're like, oh, I guess
Speaker 1: that's how I do it. Like they're saying things they
Speaker 1: don't know, right, Precious Heavenly Father, You're like like that,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna switch gears here and go to career life Advice.
Speaker 1: It says, Hey, grand your name is Josh. I live
Speaker 1: just north of you in Colleen, Texas. I've been in
Speaker 1: the military for over eleven years now. I'm not getting
Speaker 1: the job satisfaction anymore. I have an entrepreneur mindset, and
Speaker 1: my wife and I want to pursue that path. We
Speaker 1: have a small micro brewery and we want to run
Speaker 1: and that we run, and we want to pursue opening
Speaker 1: our own business. Giving up not only job security but
Speaker 1: the benefits that come with the military is such a
Speaker 1: hard choice. Retiring is an option, but I would much
Speaker 1: rather be home with my kids and family than what
Speaker 1: I currently do. What advice do you have for me? Josh,
Speaker 1: thank you for your service. I'm assuming you're at Fort
Speaker 1: Hood and we we want you to know that we
Speaker 1: could sit around microphones and talk about religion and life
Speaker 1: and freedom and post it to the world because of
Speaker 1: the freedoms protected by men like you, Josh. So you
Speaker 1: don't have to hear that from me, but I want
Speaker 1: to tell you that this is a common This is
Speaker 1: this is a common theme right now of a dissatisfaction
Speaker 1: in a career. If there's something better, it's the old
Speaker 1: The grass is greener right burns of you and I
Speaker 1: looked at stuff like that. Oh yeah, the questions like
Speaker 1: this before. I think I think that this can go
Speaker 1: a couple different ways. Though he's been in the military
Speaker 1: for eleven years. I think that God can move us
Speaker 1: two different things in different seasons. Right, So if this
Speaker 1: falls into one of the categories, the six categories that
Speaker 1: we're talking about, I think this may be go to
Speaker 1: the Word of God, like I feel like a lot
Speaker 1: of those will fall into this. But I think if
Speaker 1: you are spending time in the word Josh had mentioned
Speaker 1: that in here. Okay, well, I'm just advising this is
Speaker 1: a good place to start. What's next for you is
Speaker 1: gonna I feel like it's gonna be revealed as you
Speaker 1: were just like saturating yourself, uh in soaking in God's
Speaker 1: word and asking him and giving your life to him. Jesus,
Speaker 1: I want you to be known through my life. Whether
Speaker 1: I'm doing this or that, it doesn't matter. Where do
Speaker 1: you want me to go? And let's go. I think
Speaker 1: that that could be one path that this question could
Speaker 1: fall into. The other one could be the whole contentment thing.
Speaker 1: And I think you guys may have hit on this
Speaker 1: on the last podcast where we've or maybe it was
Speaker 1: you and I just about you know, somebody's not satisfied,
Speaker 1: they're not content in the job that they have, and
Speaker 1: it was there's kind of this question of like when
Speaker 1: did the generations kind of move towards this of like yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think it was you because we were talking
Speaker 1: about your did your grandparents change job? Yeah? They work?
Speaker 1: That was not caught for thirty years. And dude, since
Speaker 1: that podcast, I remember just thinking about this and thinking
Speaker 1: about this, and I feel like something that just kept
Speaker 1: coming up that is much more prevalent now is options, right,
Speaker 1: and man, it is options in people that you're available
Speaker 1: to date because you now have like the access to
Speaker 1: the internet. It's things you can buy because you can
Speaker 1: find the same thing and get it. The options of jobs, stuff,
Speaker 1: everything is endless, and it's creating so much discontentment and
Speaker 1: so much unsatisfaction with what we have because we're exposed
Speaker 1: to like all of this stuff and we believe this
Speaker 1: lie that, Oh man, if if I had that, I
Speaker 1: would be happy. If I had that, I would be happy.
Speaker 1: And all it's doing is keeping us from fully committing
Speaker 1: and being grateful for what we have in the moment.
Speaker 1: On social media, I know there's a lot of good
Speaker 1: things about it. I think this is one of the
Speaker 1: absolute downfalls of social media is it is exposing people
Speaker 1: to things that are not real and they're not in
Speaker 1: their lives, and people are giving their time and energy thinking, man,
Speaker 1: I wish I could go to that place, I wish
Speaker 1: I could be with that. Man, I wish my husband
Speaker 1: looked like that. I wish my wife looked like that.
Speaker 1: And it's really just all of these options were just
Speaker 1: bombarded with it. It's creating this lack of contentment. You're
Speaker 1: absolutely right, and that's probably where the microbrewery entrepreneur plan
Speaker 1: comes from too, is he's seeing an Instagram account. It's like, man,
Speaker 1: those guys are crushing it. They got they started up
Speaker 1: this microbrewery and now they've got their own brand. They're
Speaker 1: in HGB now, and Man, I could do that, and Josh.
Speaker 1: Part of that is the American dream. And so I
Speaker 1: don't want to diminish the fact that our heritage as Americans,
Speaker 1: it came from people going there's got to be something
Speaker 1: better out there. There's got to be something better, and
Speaker 1: whatever it takes for me to provide for my family,
Speaker 1: I'll do it. So I don't want to take that away.
Speaker 1: But just from a practical standpoint here, if you want
Speaker 1: to do this microbrewery thing, I would stay up later
Speaker 1: at night or get up earlier in the morning and
Speaker 1: try to start that while you're still working in the military.
Speaker 1: That maybe that's impossible. Maybe your wife could start. But
Speaker 1: don't just quit and start cold. That's tough. You're going
Speaker 1: to find yourself in a gap that you need another
Speaker 1: job quickly. So see if you can kick something going.
Speaker 1: You know, you can get a label and get this
Speaker 1: out to some friends and see if it's something you
Speaker 1: really want to do. I think the other lie that's
Speaker 1: out there is that you can be famous, you can
Speaker 1: run a brewery, you can do this, you can be
Speaker 1: a CEO, and there's a book to tell you how
Speaker 1: to do all of that. And it's I think that
Speaker 1: a lot of people are like, I am entitled to this.
Speaker 1: They said that I can do this, So why is
Speaker 1: it not happening for me? And you know the generation
Speaker 1: we were talking about, man, they started in the mailroom
Speaker 1: and they worked there for six years and then they
Speaker 1: moved up a little bit and they just there's no diligence,
Speaker 1: there's no you know, just sticking adherents, like sticking with
Speaker 1: something and going through it and feeling like a calling
Speaker 1: Like I think that, And I'll get off my soapbox now.
Speaker 1: The Jesus is going to provide for you far more
Speaker 1: than the American dream hands down. That's like a T
Speaker 1: shirt wouldn't sell very much. Noyea. The cameras are ready
Speaker 1: to reset, so I don't. I just don't want to
Speaker 1: quit yet. So we're about done for anyone that's listening,
Speaker 1: We're just about done. But I'm going to re set
Speaker 1: the cameras real quick and finish this. What you got ched? Well,
Speaker 1: I kept thinking as you guys were talking about this,
Speaker 1: that there is a what Bernie says about this instant
Speaker 1: gratification in this sense of entitlement is pretty pervasive. And
Speaker 1: we're not necessarily accusing the you know, the writer of
Speaker 1: this question of that, but there is that. It's very
Speaker 1: pervasive in our culture, and I think we all have
Speaker 1: to guard against that. And in First John, one of
Speaker 1: the letters in the New Testament, he talks about don't
Speaker 1: love the world or the things of the world. And
Speaker 1: the things of the world are lust of the flesh, right,
Speaker 1: are appetites the things that you know, this instant gratification.
Speaker 1: I want this, and I've just got this urge and
Speaker 1: I need to fulfill that urge, the lust of the eyes. Right.
Speaker 1: I see things that I want and I need to
Speaker 1: have them. Right. I'm not content with here, but I
Speaker 1: look out there and I go, oh, I want that.
Speaker 1: And then he says this phrase, the boastful pride of life, right,
Speaker 1: this idea of status, like if I have status, if
Speaker 1: I have stuff, and if I can satiate these appetites,
Speaker 1: then then I'll be good. And what we find is
Speaker 1: the more that we get of all of that stuff,
Speaker 1: we find ourselves increasingly more hungry because they don't satisfy.
Speaker 1: And so he says, rather to abide in God. That
Speaker 1: is where ultimate satisfaction will come, is when we abide
Speaker 1: or live in and dwell with Him. So, Josh, your question,
Speaker 1: really to yourself needs to be Am I truly not
Speaker 1: happy with my job? Or is it something deeper? Is
Speaker 1: it myself? Am I not finding something in me that's missing?
Speaker 1: Or is it just Hey, I'm actually just burnt out.
Speaker 1: And I think I could actually run a micro brewery.
Speaker 1: And can you do them simultaneous? I don't know, That's
Speaker 1: what I was thinking. At least get it started so
Speaker 1: that it's not a cold turkey, you know, quit the
Speaker 1: job and start something new. Maybe you could drop off
Speaker 1: a case at ee Farms. That would be great just
Speaker 1: down the road, right, Josh and everyone else that emailed,
Speaker 1: I hope that you never felt like I was, or
Speaker 1: any of us were yelling at you. The reason I
Speaker 1: get passionate is because I feel myself in your question. Yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: I'm not any better than you. I don't know any
Speaker 1: more than you. I just I feel because I'm a human.
Speaker 1: So with all these are like the ghostings of friends.
Speaker 1: And you know, I can't tell Amber I'm ready to
Speaker 1: quit the marriage, but but I feel that human sentiment
Speaker 1: in that I feel myself deep down inside going, yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree, what's the answer. And so I get passionate
Speaker 1: because we all know that you could answer things with
Speaker 1: trust or communication or run to Jesus as fast as
Speaker 1: you can, and you could answer almost all of these
Speaker 1: and so I love answering them and I get pass
Speaker 1: not because I feel better, but I feel you. I
Speaker 1: feel me in this question, so that that career life
Speaker 1: advice question is it's common and a lot of people.
Speaker 1: I read it on this episode because I know a
Speaker 1: lot of people ask me something like this, and I
Speaker 1: think it. I think we'd all four of us would
Speaker 1: be lying if we said we don't think this. Sometimes
Speaker 1: we don't think am I really gonna do this forever?
Speaker 1: And we all have really cool jobs. So that says something.
Speaker 1: Donald Trump said that I wonder what could be next.
Speaker 1: Donald Trump said that before he was president. Then he
Speaker 1: probably said it sitting in the Oval Office. I bet
Speaker 1: I bet you thought, how long am I going to
Speaker 1: do this? Like? Right, I could never be never in
Speaker 1: their everyone's everyone's going to have that because they're human,
Speaker 1: and part of it can become very destructive, and part
Speaker 1: of it could create the United States of America. To
Speaker 1: what it became with that mentality. I think another category
Speaker 1: that these things could kind of fall into and be
Speaker 1: answered by maybe is community. And so this couple, I
Speaker 1: would say, your community friends. If you don't have a
Speaker 1: community of friends, find them, push into them, serve them,
Speaker 1: give yourself to it, and just talk to hey, Parker,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about doing this thing. And he may be like, man,
Speaker 1: I've always seen the way that you handled this and this,
Speaker 1: and I actually know somebody I can like plug you
Speaker 1: in and you I think that you would be really
Speaker 1: good at this and get affirmation from them and support.
Speaker 1: And I think it's I think it's very and you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is right, but I feel
Speaker 1: like it's very rare where you wake up one day
Speaker 1: and God says do this, and it's like you have
Speaker 1: to decide in a moment. I feel like he just
Speaker 1: starts to kind of like nudge at you a little bit,
Speaker 1: and and then you go to his word and you're like, sis,
Speaker 1: what I feel. I'm feeling this? And then you talk
Speaker 1: to your community and you talk to your wife or
Speaker 1: you know, whoever, and talk to your friends, and I
Speaker 1: think you could get there that way. I think that's
Speaker 1: community is definitely so good. And what you mean, Burns
Speaker 1: is I would go to I would go to the
Speaker 1: general and talk to him about this. I'll talk to
Speaker 1: I would talk to the retired guy. You don't talk
Speaker 1: to the guy that's that's active, because you can find
Speaker 1: out you're not happy with your job. But I'd go
Speaker 1: to the retired general that works at the cigar shop
Speaker 1: in Slaedo, Texas or whatever and just say, sir, can
Speaker 1: I can I run something by you? And he's probably
Speaker 1: gonna go, I know exactly how you feel. And then
Speaker 1: I would go to the micro brewery guy, the guy
Speaker 1: the guy at the brewery and go the guy that's
Speaker 1: successful and go, I talk to you about something, and
Speaker 1: he might look you in the eye and go, don't
Speaker 1: get into this business. It's not what it looks like.
Speaker 1: It's terrible and we're fighting to pay the rent every day.
Speaker 1: You don't know, so that that community, that that's the
Speaker 1: wise counsel that it's also just such a great answer
Speaker 1: to any question. So, guys, episode one, thank you for
Speaker 1: thanks for being on it, Thanks for everyone for watching
Speaker 1: a little extra well, dude, thank you. Can we just
Speaker 1: say that, like one, thank you for having you know
Speaker 1: us on here, but to thank you that you continue
Speaker 1: to pursue this calling unapologetically and put out the kind
Speaker 1: of content that you do, and we, I think are
Speaker 1: all privileged to get to walk with you in this.
Speaker 1: It's fun stuff. So and I can say you asked
Speaker 1: me one time, like, you know, why do you come
Speaker 1: from so far? Whatever? I was thinking about Eye Nation.
Speaker 1: Anybody out there listening to this, if you called them
Speaker 1: and said, can you come to the podcast? You have
Speaker 1: to drive an hour and have to get here, they
Speaker 1: would be like yes. So I think all of us
Speaker 1: are like, man, of course, of course we're gonna come,
Speaker 1: because anyone out there would probably do the same thing,
Speaker 1: just to sit and chop it up with you. Man,
Speaker 1: Thanks buddy, appreciate you guys, and congrats one hundred. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Once sword a guy said that he wouldn't listen to
Speaker 1: a podcast unless there's been at least one hundred episodes,
Speaker 1: because he said that's how long it takes. Who was
Speaker 1: able to facilitate a conversation and host it? Well, I
Speaker 1: don't remember, but I remember that too. People can officially
Speaker 1: start listening now I guess at it's actually a legit podcast.
Speaker 1: We have one hundred et it. I understand all right,
Speaker 1: Love you guys. We'll see you next time, one on one.
Speaker 1: Ye thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I
Speaker 1: appreciate all of you guys. You could help me out
Speaker 1: by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Ye un, don't