Speaker 1: Is this Lyle? Yes?
Speaker 2: Who is this.
Speaker 1: Hid Lyle?
Speaker 2: My name is Goldie, Goldie. What's going on, Goldie? How's life? Oh?
Speaker 1: Man, I'm actually I'm crying right now, but so not
Speaker 1: the greatest at the moment.
Speaker 2: You're quiet? Why are you? Why are you crying?
Speaker 1: It's kind of silly. But so I'm an avid Twitch watcher, Okay,
Speaker 1: I love to watch Twitch streams, and uh, I've actually
Speaker 1: been watching you for probably like two or three years now. Cool,
Speaker 1: So I'm a very big fan. I love your stream, dude.
Speaker 1: But but uh, yeah, I'm actually crying because another person
Speaker 1: that I watch on here? Can you just ban me? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: from his Twitter community because actually, as it turns out,
Speaker 1: I'm already banned on Twitch, so I can't actually chat,
Speaker 1: but I do listen, right, Okay, yeah, so but I
Speaker 1: I just got banned from his Twitter community and I'm
Speaker 1: crying about it.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, let's well let's talk this through. Well,
Speaker 2: first of all, why why did you Why do you
Speaker 2: think you got banns?
Speaker 1: So I have a lot to say. I'm kind of
Speaker 1: I kind of talk too much, I guess, and I
Speaker 1: kind of say some outlandish things sometimes, and I think
Speaker 1: that he did not want me kind of speaking over
Speaker 1: him in his chat.
Speaker 2: Okay, is this as like a small streamer.
Speaker 1: Usually about like six hundred viewers a stream he has?
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, all right, I mean let's reverse engineer this
Speaker 2: in a few ways, because why are you why are
Speaker 2: you spending so much time talking in this guy's chat?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean they sometimes they call me a parasocial okay,
Speaker 1: because yeah, I'm not exactly one hundred percent sure what
Speaker 1: that means, but I think it's.
Speaker 3: Like, like I where I believe that I'm closer to
Speaker 3: him than I really am.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: A parasolic relationship is like a relationship that you form,
Speaker 2: is like a one sided relationship you form with someone
Speaker 2: that you don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's definitely what I'm kind of doing. I
Speaker 1: don't really have many Actually I don't have any friends
Speaker 1: in real life.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: I kind of use twitch as a platform where I
Speaker 1: can connect with people since I don't really have a
Speaker 1: way to do that in real life.
Speaker 2: Okay, why do you feel like you don't have any friends?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm a single mom, though I kind of lost
Speaker 1: most of my friends after becoming a mom.
Speaker 2: And then.
Speaker 1: I never made any new ones after I lost all
Speaker 1: my friends.
Speaker 2: Where were your friends from? Like? Where or were they
Speaker 2: from like high school?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Mostly?
Speaker 1: Uh, high school. I never really had many friends, but
Speaker 1: the few of them that I had were from school.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: M you know, I'm not fully opposed to using online
Speaker 2: communities to make friends. I'm not fully opposed to it.
Speaker 2: I think that Well, Like when I first was twitch streaming,
Speaker 2: I was a little worried about parasocial relationships. I was
Speaker 2: worried that people were like finding you know, I mean,
Speaker 2: I don't think parasocial relationships are are They kind of
Speaker 2: depend on intensity. I mean I have parasocial relationships with
Speaker 2: people that I, you know, listen to a lot or
Speaker 2: watch a lot, you know, I've you know, kind of
Speaker 2: form ideas of who they are, and you know, they
Speaker 2: they maybe uh their work speaks to me in ways
Speaker 2: that make me feel very understood. But I don't I
Speaker 2: don't ever, I don't let that go to to a
Speaker 2: place where I like feel like they're you know, I
Speaker 2: maybe have a reverence for their work and what they
Speaker 2: have to say and whatnot. By I don't let that
Speaker 2: cross into a territory of like they are part of
Speaker 2: my social life in any way, shape or form. And
Speaker 2: I was kind of worried about that when I first
Speaker 2: started streaming, But then I I noticed on Discord and
Speaker 2: even like in my twitch chat that people independent of
Speaker 2: me were like making friends with each other, and that
Speaker 2: became those became like, those weren't parasocial relationships. Those were
Speaker 2: real uh you know, albeit online, but they were They
Speaker 2: were real relationships that people formed with each other, and
Speaker 2: I thought that was cool. And I'm not against that
Speaker 2: because I've actually seen a lot of situations both you know,
Speaker 2: in my Gecko universe and in like anecdotally in real
Speaker 2: life where people have relationships like that that turn into
Speaker 2: like real friendships. And I'm not I'm not opposed to that.
Speaker 2: I'm opposed to like I'm opposed to like like making
Speaker 2: friends with an AI chatbot or trying to feel like
Speaker 2: a streamer is like your friends. But I I the
Speaker 2: the space between of like, you know, I chat with
Speaker 2: this person who lives in uh, Wisconsin, and I'm in
Speaker 2: Florida or whatever. I don't think that that's all that bad.
Speaker 2: And if that's where your life is and that's where
Speaker 2: your comfortability is and that's where you need to start,
Speaker 2: I don't think that that's the worst thing in the world.
Speaker 2: But I guess ultimately you'd want to form a forign
Speaker 2: friendships in real life. And it's I get why it's
Speaker 2: I get why it's hard for you as a as
Speaker 2: a single mom. You know, it's a lot of responsibility.
Speaker 2: Is there a kid? Yes, By the way, you sound
Speaker 2: like you're you sound like, uh, you sound like you're
Speaker 2: out in Are you out in public somewhere?
Speaker 1: No, I'm actually in my room. I'm pacing back and
Speaker 1: forth in my room right now, and my little baby
Speaker 1: just came in here and he wants me now, So I'm.
Speaker 3: Like, okay.
Speaker 1: But but about what you were saying is, yeah, like
Speaker 1: the thing about the parasocial relationships is like there's no
Speaker 1: form of like, uh the what's that word recipprosity? Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: so there's no Really, I'm not really getting anything out
Speaker 1: of these relationships of course, other than you know, it's
Speaker 1: kind of like an imaginary relationship in a way. So
Speaker 1: I definitely wish that I could find friends in real life.
Speaker 1: I'm just like kind of like an awkward person, So
Speaker 1: I don't know if I don't really know.
Speaker 4: How to do that.
Speaker 2: Well, you can find friends in real life even if
Speaker 2: you're an awkward person. You, I really do you can
Speaker 2: find friends in real life being exactly as you are,
Speaker 2: because I don't like I think like real friendship is
Speaker 2: mostly this is like really boring. But most friendship is
Speaker 2: truthfully more about repeated exposure than it is about any
Speaker 2: form of It's repeated exposure with like a little bit
Speaker 2: of compatibility, but I think it's mainly about repeated exposure
Speaker 2: than it is compatibility. And if you're awkward, but you
Speaker 2: have repeated exposure with like the same group of people,
Speaker 2: you'll be you'll start to you'll be less awkward because
Speaker 2: you get more comfortable with them because of that repeated exposure.
Speaker 2: So it's like, well, where do you get that repeated
Speaker 2: exposure is the main question. And it's hard for you
Speaker 2: because you got to you got a lot going on,
Speaker 2: But uh yeah, it's possible, And it's possible to do
Speaker 2: it online too. Like when you were in this guy's
Speaker 2: Twitch community, were you were you just like sending our
Speaker 2: messages to the void or were you talking to other people.
Speaker 1: Mostly like I would. I would interact with the other
Speaker 1: chatters once in a while, but I would mainly comment
Speaker 1: on his stream and what he was doing, sometimes say
Speaker 1: like jokes here and there. The guy that I was watching,
Speaker 1: he kind of felt like the things that I would
Speaker 1: say were me trying to like outshine him in a way,
Speaker 1: I think, and he, I guess he wanted to, uh
Speaker 1: basically had more control over his community and what was
Speaker 1: being said in his chat. And I don't know, maybe
Speaker 1: he just got the wrong idea about me. But yeah,
Speaker 1: sorry if it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2: No, it it makes perfect sense. But I don't think
Speaker 2: but it's I don't think it's the thing to be
Speaker 2: focused on, right because well, I mean what I what
Speaker 2: I want to see, what I'd like to see for
Speaker 2: you is to uh build up a better like social life,
Speaker 2: whether it's on the internet with other real people or
Speaker 2: with real people in real life, but less of this
Speaker 2: thing of you know, where it's you and like a streamer.
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2: And it's one thing if you like what they have
Speaker 2: to say and you like having them as background noise,
Speaker 2: you know, because I I have there's people that you know,
Speaker 2: I listened to Stavros' podcast all the time. I listen
Speaker 2: to a lot of different podcasts that I have on
Speaker 2: and ship and you know, but like I don't you know,
Speaker 2: but you got to have like a healthy, like, uh,
Speaker 2: real social life. Have you made any have you made
Speaker 2: any attempts to do that or like what would those
Speaker 2: and what have those attempts looked like?
Speaker 1: Not? Actually, not at all recently, like I would say,
Speaker 1: probably within the past couple years or so. Like, I
Speaker 1: haven't really tried to go out of my shell when
Speaker 1: I when I'm in public, which is usually like the
Speaker 1: grocery store, I avoid eye contact with everyone and I
Speaker 1: just kind of go in and get out as fast
Speaker 1: as I can. So I I don't really leave that
Speaker 1: open for opportunity.
Speaker 2: Well, are there areas in which you would feel more comfortable?
Speaker 2: Like what are your what are your hobbies? What do
Speaker 2: you like to do?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 1: I like to draw, and I like to paint, and
Speaker 1: I do word searches every now and then. But I
Speaker 1: don't imagine that the word search community is easy to find.
Speaker 2: Sure, we could find the word search community the fucking
Speaker 2: probably plenty of any anything that you would do, there's
Speaker 2: like a discord of people who are also doing it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so.
Speaker 2: Hmmm, I think that you should definitely go out in
Speaker 2: search of like online communities that are related to what
Speaker 2: you like. To do. How's being a mom?
Speaker 1: Uh, it's it's amazing because my kids really just like
Speaker 1: bring joy and just love and light to my life,
Speaker 1: and my whole world revolves around them, which has its
Speaker 1: pros and cons. But and there, my kid's dad is
Speaker 1: not in the picture, but he definitely tries to be.
Speaker 1: And our relationship was not the greatest, so it's kind
Speaker 1: of rough because I have to see him and uh,
Speaker 1: he kind of left, like left me in a dark place,
Speaker 1: and he's kind of like controlling. So it's it has
Speaker 1: its pros and cons, but I would say it has
Speaker 1: mostly pros.
Speaker 3: M Hm.
Speaker 2: Why why is your guys' relationship strained?
Speaker 1: Well, he's just he's always been very controlling and manipulative,
Speaker 1: and I'm uh, I don't I honestly don't even really
Speaker 1: know how to put it because.
Speaker 4: He just.
Speaker 1: Ye for a while, he would try to make me
Speaker 1: feel like I was crazy and and anything. Anytime I
Speaker 1: try to come forward about anything that he does wrong,
Speaker 1: he shuts me down completely. So I don't even really
Speaker 1: know how to describe it.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, it goes pretty deep, which probably didn't need
Speaker 1: real therapy for.
Speaker 2: But what's your what's your your kid sounds like he's
Speaker 2: running around ding a bunch of stuff in the background.
Speaker 3: Was he up?
Speaker 4: Was he?
Speaker 2: What's he doing right now?
Speaker 1: My bed is just covered and I was cleaning my kitchen,
Speaker 1: so I took everything off the top of the microwave
Speaker 1: and put it on my bed. And now they're just
Speaker 1: going through that all that. I actually have a little
Speaker 1: baby and an older four year old, so they're just
Speaker 1: going through everything right now. But it's okay, man.
Speaker 2: So you're juggling with fucking two kids. Are you you
Speaker 2: live do you Is it just you and the two
Speaker 2: kids or do you live with your folks? Oh?
Speaker 1: No, it's just us, just me, boys and.
Speaker 2: My cat man. You're holding you're holding that fucking ship down, dude.
Speaker 1: Thanks man. I try my best.
Speaker 2: That's hard, that's that's really that's tough doing that. And
Speaker 2: what do you work?
Speaker 1: I do not at the moment. I am looking for
Speaker 1: a job. I actually applied at the hospital near me
Speaker 1: to do like like you know, the people that bring
Speaker 1: you your food at the hospital. Yeah, I applied to
Speaker 1: do that and then I got denied. So try a
Speaker 1: different angle.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, goldie, goldie, Goldie. Damn, you're holding that fucking
Speaker 2: ship down, Goldie. I respect you, I really do. I
Speaker 2: respect you. This is you're holding You're holding out a
Speaker 2: lot of ship dude. I want you know, and I'm
Speaker 2: not I really I don't want to say this as
Speaker 2: a way of uh, I'm not trying to be like,
Speaker 2: uh motivational speaker type of type ship, but uh, get
Speaker 2: just give yourself some credit, man, I mean I hope
Speaker 2: throughout throughout whatever it is, like, give yourself some credit.
Speaker 2: I mean, you're what you're doing is uh is a
Speaker 2: wild undertaking. It's really that sounds so hard. Uh, you know,
Speaker 2: dealing with like a fucking uh you know, uncooperative, uncooperative father,
Speaker 2: you know, taking care of two kids on your own,
Speaker 2: working you know, dealing with I mean that's tough man.
Speaker 2: So you know, uh, have have some have some compassion
Speaker 2: for yourself as you never like do like it like
Speaker 2: do both things at once, Like have some compassion for yourself,
Speaker 2: you know, because what you're doing is hard, but also
Speaker 2: like like look at yourself in the mirror and be like,
Speaker 2: I'm fucking killing it right now. I'm doing I'm doing
Speaker 2: pretty good job at this like hard thing. Like because
Speaker 2: you because you I don't know it's from from what
Speaker 2: you said about like, oh, I feel awkward if like
Speaker 2: I can't look people in the eye. Like, uh, you
Speaker 2: didn't say it out right, but I don't know if
Speaker 2: you're dealing with any kind of like self confidence issues,
Speaker 2: but like take a second to look at yourself and
Speaker 2: be like, wait, I'm actually kind of sick right now,
Speaker 2: you know, like I'm dealing with all this shit, but
Speaker 2: I'm still I'm holding it down, you know, like walk
Speaker 2: around with it like that's what you should be walking
Speaker 2: around with and not like, oh I'm weird and I
Speaker 2: don't I can't fit into the planet.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you got it down for sure.
Speaker 2: You got it down. You got it down.
Speaker 1: Man, dude, you have no idea how happy you just
Speaker 1: nade me because, like, like I said, like when I
Speaker 1: first started watching you, like it was like every single
Speaker 1: stream back when you used to have like call screeners
Speaker 1: and stuff. I tried to call in, but then I
Speaker 1: got too scared and I hung up. But back then
Speaker 1: I used to watch literally every single one of your streams.
Speaker 1: I'd be chatting in it. So it's like so like
Speaker 1: surreal to be on the phone with your right though.
Speaker 2: I'm Goldie. Try to try to try to build yourself up.
Speaker 2: You're doing a fucking tough thing and you're doing a
Speaker 2: pretty good job at it because uh, your kids sound
Speaker 2: like they're alive, which is uh, I mean, even doing
Speaker 2: that it is hard. So uh, you know, give yourself,
Speaker 2: give yourself some credit when you try to make friends
Speaker 2: and you just go just don't know. When you're going
Speaker 2: about the world in general, you want to have that
Speaker 2: mindset about yourself about like, wait, I'm actually kind of awesome.
Speaker 2: So do with that information as you please. All right, man, Goldie,
Speaker 2: is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 1: Yeah, just love love, come on, chat, love on yourself,
Speaker 1: keep this uh stream of love going, swag, do something
Speaker 1: nice for yourself.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Lyle, Thank you Goldi. You have
Speaker 2: a good one.
Speaker 3: Good luck all right, you too, my Golden.
Speaker 2: I want to join the word search Discord. No, I
Speaker 2: actually don't want to do that. I'm not gonna lie
Speaker 2: and say I want to do that, but it's because
Speaker 2: I don't like word searches. If I liked word searches,
Speaker 2: i'd be in the I'd be the fucking head mod
Speaker 2: of the word search Discord and then I would have
Speaker 2: sex all the time. Hello, Hey, buddy, what's uh what's
Speaker 2: your name?
Speaker 4: My name title idle like like American? Yeah, like American idol?
Speaker 2: Cool. I like that name. I assume we haven't spoken before,
Speaker 2: because I would remember an idol.
Speaker 4: No, yeah, we haven't. I've been watching for a while
Speaker 4: and I've been trying to call in. I have a
Speaker 4: very specific reason why I'm calling in.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, you texted me and you said I want
Speaker 2: to talk about my anger.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I have a lot of pent up anger towards
Speaker 4: a you know, specific group online that just like gets
Speaker 4: me gone. I'm kind of sicking. I'm sick and tired
Speaker 4: of like these food reviewers blowing up, you know, low
Speaker 4: key spots, Like just the other day, like there's this
Speaker 4: pop up spot, taco spot, very low key nobody knows about.
Speaker 4: I'm going through Instagram and I see a fucking food
Speaker 4: reviewer with like one hundred and ten thousand mics at
Speaker 4: this spot, and I'm like, Fuck, it's gonna be like
Speaker 4: ten thousand people at this place now, I gotta wait
Speaker 4: in line. Quality is gonna drop because they're trying to
Speaker 4: serve Everybody's just like what the.
Speaker 2: Fuck why does that upset you that that's that's good,
Speaker 2: that's what you want that it's I I hate the
Speaker 2: whole like, uh, gatekeeping thing. Don't you want that business
Speaker 2: to be doing well?
Speaker 4: I do, but then it inconvenience is me because now
Speaker 4: it's just a line and now you know it's people
Speaker 4: there and it's just too much, too much going on. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I want the business to succeed, but not at the
Speaker 4: cost of me.
Speaker 2: But you don't run the business.
Speaker 3: No, I don't.
Speaker 4: It's just how can I say it. I'm just tired
Speaker 4: of places that I love to go where it's low key.
Speaker 4: Nobody knows. It's just I just like to enjoy it,
Speaker 4: enjoy the scenery, you know, but you know people, You
Speaker 4: got ignorant people and all these types of people coming
Speaker 4: in because you know, all this ship and it's just
Speaker 4: too much, you do.
Speaker 2: You do sound very angry. This is not about I
Speaker 2: can tell this is not about tacos. There's something else
Speaker 2: going it's definitely notice about going on in your life.
Speaker 4: No, nothing that's going on. It's just I'm sick of
Speaker 4: the tired of low key spots that I enjoy being
Speaker 4: blown up by food reviewers.
Speaker 2: But do use what I don't know. I can. I
Speaker 2: have go on to rants to you, and I don't
Speaker 2: get food. I don't get it. Do you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? You don't know what I mean. I don't
Speaker 2: I don't get like, Okay, I'm gonna say a bunch
Speaker 2: of things that sound insane. But you know when people
Speaker 2: are like, oh, the food at this restaurant is so good,
Speaker 2: I'm like, what who cares? There's food everywhere, Like, you
Speaker 2: can get a taco at a billion different places.
Speaker 4: It's fine, but it's just you know, the quality of
Speaker 4: the taco. It's not just the quality of it's just
Speaker 4: the food in general. It's just places that were special
Speaker 4: to me are being taken over. I guess you can say.
Speaker 2: That, Yeah you don't. You don't own I don't own it.
Speaker 4: No, I don't. I don't own the police. It's just
Speaker 4: safe spots where I can where people who like to
Speaker 4: just go and just like all right, yeah, nobody knows
Speaker 4: about this spot, let's go here being blown up. That's
Speaker 4: my problem.
Speaker 2: Where do you live? I live in Pennsylvania, what like
Speaker 2: in a big city. Yeah, he in Philly. Yeah, there's
Speaker 2: a billion restaurants in Philly. Just go to another place.
Speaker 1: That. No, that's the thing.
Speaker 4: I don't want to go to another place.
Speaker 2: But you might discover a new place. But you might
Speaker 2: discover another new place that you like.
Speaker 4: That is true. But it's just okay, you're right on that.
Speaker 4: I can discover a new place. It's just do I
Speaker 4: want to open myself up to that new experience?
Speaker 2: What did? I don't understand what you're saying. Why would
Speaker 2: you not?
Speaker 4: I don't know. It's this new things scare me.
Speaker 2: Well, let's talk about that. That's more interesting to me.
Speaker 2: Why do new things scare you? Why does it scare
Speaker 2: you to go to a new taco place.
Speaker 4: It's not necessarily taco place. It's just like, I hate
Speaker 4: wasting money on bad food, and that's what scares me.
Speaker 4: Then I'm just gonna waste money and just not enjoy it. Okay,
Speaker 4: you know what is life?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 4: And everybody likes to Everybody likes to sit there and
Speaker 4: enjoy a nice meal. And the meal would be ruined
Speaker 4: if you pay a certain price for for disgusting food.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Yeah, but that's what you gotta do. That's
Speaker 2: the cost of Like I actually, I can I tell
Speaker 2: you something. I hate reviews. Here's here's what my hot takes. No, No,
Speaker 2: I hate okay, I hate review Like when we're about
Speaker 2: to okay, here's here's one of my hot takes. Like
Speaker 2: if I'm with someone and I'm like, oh, let's try
Speaker 2: this restaurant, and they pull out their phone and they
Speaker 2: start reading the reviews. I hate that because, to me,
Speaker 2: if it's bad, let's just find out. Who cares? I
Speaker 2: don't want to Why does every experience have to be
Speaker 2: Why do I need the perfect, most amazing thing all
Speaker 2: the time, Like if we go to a place and
Speaker 2: it's shitty, we'll just find it out by going there.
Speaker 2: I hate that I have to like curate my life.
Speaker 2: I hate like trying to curate your life so that
Speaker 2: you never have any negative experiences ever, or any like
Speaker 2: negative food experiences even it's just stupid. It's like, just
Speaker 2: go into the restaurant and you pay the money, and
Speaker 2: you eat the shitty food, and then you know not
Speaker 2: to go there anymore. The reviews. I don't like the
Speaker 2: system of like we have to protect ourselves from you know,
Speaker 2: it's a real think. I think it's listen and I'm
Speaker 2: about to go on a huge this is the most
Speaker 2: podcast bro thing I'm gonna say it's part of the
Speaker 2: overall pacification of America food reviews. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It's it's it's a further passification of America that we
Speaker 2: feel the need to protect ourselves from eating a shitty burrito.
Speaker 2: You can handle the experience of eating a shitty burrito,
Speaker 2: and then that's what happens to you. You ate a
Speaker 2: shitty burrito, you know, you get upsets, and then you
Speaker 2: don't go to that place anymore. I'm being facetious, but
Speaker 2: I also do one hundred percent believe everything I'm saying.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just, you know, I'm just tired of it,
Speaker 4: but I do. Jeraly do thoroughly enjoy talking to you.
Speaker 4: It was good to get it off my chest. I
Speaker 4: appreciate it and appreciate you answering my call.
Speaker 2: Thanks mate, Is there anything else you want to say
Speaker 2: to the people of the computer before we go? Idle subscribe? Sweet?
Speaker 2: Thank you, adel. I was explaining this to someone the
Speaker 2: other day. This is why I don't I like when
Speaker 2: people are like, oh, the food in Texas is so like,
Speaker 2: the Mexican food in Texas is so great. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm sure it is, But if you live in like
Speaker 2: Rhode Island, there's some fucking Mexican restaurant within fifty miles
Speaker 2: a year that's probably pretty good. Is it is the
Speaker 2: one in Texas? Is it that much better? I don't know.
Speaker 2: Food is food. That's just how I am. I'm not
Speaker 2: like a Also, you know, I'm like, I think this
Speaker 2: maybe maybe this is because I'm like, I'm a single guy,
Speaker 2: you know, so I'm not gonna like like whatever. It's
Speaker 2: when people like people like, oh, you live in New York,
Speaker 2: you go do you go to all the restaurants? I'm like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm a single guy. I'm not gonna like go out
Speaker 2: alone to a nice restaurant on a Tuesday night. I don't.
Speaker 2: I'm not it. I just don't care. I eat at
Speaker 2: like I eat at the grocery store, the bodegas, the
Speaker 2: little fast casual whatever things. I also I hate. I also, like,
Speaker 2: just on principle, I hate spending money on uh fancy
Speaker 2: food with like low purport like low portions. You know,
Speaker 2: I like going to a shitty Mexican place where they'll
Speaker 2: give me a big fucking burrito for not that much money.
Speaker 2: But if it's think it's like a fancy takaria whatever place,
Speaker 2: and they give you a tiny thing of chips and
Speaker 2: a tiny little whatever and you pay like it's like
Speaker 2: thirty dollars. I hate that shit, and I hate I
Speaker 2: hate yeah, and I hate reviews. It's like, just eatat
Speaker 2: it's okay, you know, go you have a be in
Speaker 2: a bad go to eat a bad food. You know
Speaker 2: it'll be okay. I like good. I like UH. I
Speaker 2: like good reviews of things. Sometimes do I read a review?
Speaker 2: I guess I read reviews of uh. I read reviews
Speaker 2: of video games? Yeah, okay, all right, maybe it's maybe
Speaker 2: I'm you know what, I'm actually kind of a bullshitter
Speaker 2: because I read reviews of video games before I play them,
Speaker 2: or do do I? I do sometimes? Yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: because I don't like to waste my time on it. Okay,
Speaker 2: you know what, I take back everything I said. I
Speaker 2: think I just I think I just applied it to
Speaker 2: this situation because I don't care that much about food.
Speaker 2: But when I apply it to something I care about, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think reviews are good. Hey, everybody, what's up. It's
Speaker 2: me Lyle And I'm gonna do the second half of
Speaker 2: this episode as a gek mal portion. If that's okay
Speaker 2: with you. If that's not okay with you, then uh,
Speaker 2: I don't know what to tell you. It's too late,
Speaker 2: because I'm gonna I'm gonna do it. I am currently
Speaker 2: alone in a room talking into a microphone. I feel good.
Speaker 2: I took a Celsius, I took a bathroom break, and
Speaker 2: I feel good. I feel ready to talk into a
Speaker 2: microphone alone and read some emails and I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm talking directly to you guys. What's going on in
Speaker 2: my life? I went to Canada. That was nice. New
Speaker 2: York in the fall is great. I'm trying to romanticize
Speaker 2: my own life. Here's what's going on. This is my
Speaker 2: this is the portion of the podcast. I'll do my
Speaker 2: therapy for a second. I find myself constantly thinking about
Speaker 2: the future, the future, you know, I'm always making plans.
Speaker 2: I'm always like, oh, wouldn't it be cool to live here?
Speaker 2: One day? Like I go to fucking uh Zillow or whatever,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, what's the what's the rent in uh Madison, Wisconsin?
Speaker 2: What would it be like to be there? You know,
Speaker 2: I'm on the Reddit. I'm looking at other people's lives
Speaker 2: on Instagram. And shit, and I'm like, what would it
Speaker 2: be like to live that life? What would be like
Speaker 2: to do this? What would be like to do that?
Speaker 2: And I'm realizing I'm like, I'm fucking thinking about versions
Speaker 2: of myself and versions of different versions of life that
Speaker 2: are that I'm not even in, and I'm missing my
Speaker 2: own life. It's crazy. So I'm trying to romanticize my
Speaker 2: own life. So I'm feeling very romantic about this very
Speaker 2: moment in which I'm sitting here talking into this uh microphone,
Speaker 2: talking to you guys. So I'm going to romanticize the
Speaker 2: life I'm currently living right now, however good or bad
Speaker 2: it is. When I'm with someone, I'm trying to really
Speaker 2: be with them. I'm looking in their eyes. I'm like,
Speaker 2: even if I hate them, I'm like, oh, this is nice.
Speaker 2: I get to I'm like warmed by the distain I
Speaker 2: have for this person. Get I feel alive. I'm like
Speaker 2: really diving in all of my emotions. I'm like diving
Speaker 2: into them. I'm like, oh, I get to feel angry,
Speaker 2: I get to feel I'm getting into a I'm gonna
Speaker 2: fight with my landlord, and I'm like, this is exciting.
Speaker 2: I get to send an angry email about fixing my
Speaker 2: fucking heater. Look at me, I'm engaging with the universe.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm crazy. All right, let's read some emails.
Speaker 2: Let's see here. This is from Waka Hello GEK. My
Speaker 2: life is not bad. I'm about to graduate college, I
Speaker 2: have a good lady, I'm planning to marry, and a
Speaker 2: job that is giving me good experience with decent pay. Recently,
Speaker 2: I had a strange dream. In the dream, my parents
Speaker 2: were flying out to where I live to visit me,
Speaker 2: and their plane suddenly vanishes. But I can remember involves
Speaker 2: me trying to process this moment. I don't know what
Speaker 2: happened to the plane, but when I learned that my
Speaker 2: parents were missing, I was devastated. After some time, I
Speaker 2: began to question why I was even sad to begin with,
Speaker 2: and I started to reflect on all the problems in
Speaker 2: that relationship with my parents. I remember feeling angry for
Speaker 2: even considering that. Eventually, some kind of authority came to
Speaker 2: me and was about to reveal what happened to my
Speaker 2: parent's plane. But then I woke up. My parents are
Speaker 2: flying out to the state I live to visit me
Speaker 2: and my sister for Thanksgiving, So the timing of this
Speaker 2: dream is alarming. I recently asked chat gpt to interpret
Speaker 2: the stream for me because it's been stuck on my
Speaker 2: mind for a week now. Chat gave me mumbo jumbo
Speaker 2: about how it is a reflection of my strained relationship
Speaker 2: with my parents. Blah blah blah. What are your thoughts?
Speaker 2: Does this sound like a sign that my parents are
Speaker 2: going to die? Uh? No, I don't think it's a
Speaker 2: sign that your parents are going to die. I don't think. Okay, Like,
Speaker 2: there's actually a lot of woo shit that I believe
Speaker 2: is completely logical that makes a lot of fucking sense
Speaker 2: to me. I and what but and then there's a
Speaker 2: lot of woo woo shit that I think is stupid
Speaker 2: And with dreams, Like I don't interpret dreams to mean
Speaker 2: anything about the about anything external, like they don't. I
Speaker 2: don't think they mean shit about the external events of
Speaker 2: the universe. So like, no, I don't think that, uh,
Speaker 2: this dream means that your parents are gonna die or
Speaker 2: that something bad will happen. I don't believe in wu
Speaker 2: wuo shit like that. But I totally believe in dreams
Speaker 2: being like reflective of the internal state. So it definitely
Speaker 2: means you have some anxiety. It's definitely also dreams will
Speaker 2: like show you shit that you don't want to admit
Speaker 2: to yourself. Like what a perfect example is, like if
Speaker 2: you break up with someone and you believe you're fully
Speaker 2: over it, your dreams will show you that you're not.
Speaker 2: You'll be like, you'll be fucking like fun five months
Speaker 2: after a breakup or something like that, and believe you're
Speaker 2: totally over it, and then you just have a dream
Speaker 2: that you're like holding hands with that person, and your
Speaker 2: subconscious is like you're lying to yourself that you're over
Speaker 2: this right now, you know. So dreams will like show
Speaker 2: you uncomfortable shit, But that doesn't mean any That doesn't
Speaker 2: mean shit about the you know your ex girlfriend, you
Speaker 2: know she's out living her life, has nothing to do
Speaker 2: with your fucking dream. It's just reflects how you feel.
Speaker 2: So maybe you feel anxious that about your parents. Maybe
Speaker 2: you feel anxious about your parents dying, which is a
Speaker 2: legitimate feeling to have. Maybe, yeah, it's probably reflective of
Speaker 2: some relationship problems that you have with your parents. It's
Speaker 2: probably reflective of some anger of some kind. So I
Speaker 2: agree with the chat gpt interpretation of that. But I
Speaker 2: don't believe in like signs of external thing. I believe
Speaker 2: in signs of internal things. Uh yeah, I mean thinking that.
Speaker 2: To think that your dreams are like signs of the universe,
Speaker 2: of like events that will happen, that means that means
Speaker 2: that you're like God or some shit. You know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying. Okay, there's more of this email. That is
Speaker 2: the first of two strange experiences I have had at
Speaker 2: night recently. The other was last night I could not
Speaker 2: fall asleep after watching six episodes of Bob's Burgers. I
Speaker 2: turned to YouTube, and I decided to watch a documentary
Speaker 2: about the ongoing civil war in Sudan. The documentary explored
Speaker 2: the complex landscape of the parties involved in the war. Eventually,
Speaker 2: the video talks about a specific skirmish over a town
Speaker 2: in which one of the military forces kills hundreds of
Speaker 2: civilians and burns everything down. At this point, I had
Speaker 2: to stop watching the video. I feel like I somewhat
Speaker 2: keep up with global events. I am aware of horrible
Speaker 2: things that happen everywhere every day. Human history has an
Speaker 2: unmeasurable list of tragedies that have occurred, but for some reason,
Speaker 2: I could not go back to watching Bob's Burgers this time.
Speaker 2: I feel like I try to typically keep a good
Speaker 2: outlook on life, but this makes me feel like I
Speaker 2: am so ungrateful for my problems. I get to be
Speaker 2: upset at my parents from my childhood and not have
Speaker 2: to grieve my entire town being slaughtered and burned to
Speaker 2: the ground by an evil dictator. Ghek, am I going crazy?
Speaker 2: Why am I suddenly burdened with these thoughts? I'm grateful
Speaker 2: for the opportunity to be more appreciative of my place
Speaker 2: in this world, But how do I not let this
Speaker 2: haunt me? How am I supposed to bring kids into
Speaker 2: this evil world one day? Is it not morally wrong
Speaker 2: to be responsible for sending the next generation into a
Speaker 2: place where so much bad happens? Anyway, I hope this
Speaker 2: email reaches you. I enjoy your perspective on things, and
Speaker 2: I hope to hear back from you on this. I
Speaker 2: have the exact same thoughts, oh man, listen, man, I
Speaker 2: have the same fucking thoughts all the time. And uh,
Speaker 2: it's very funny because, like, I don't know, I've been
Speaker 2: to places where like I've seen like object poverty, and
Speaker 2: horrible things, but also like you know, I mean I
Speaker 2: live in haven't lived in like New York and LA,
Speaker 2: Like you just see that shit outside of your house, uh,
Speaker 2: And also like whatever you hear about it and you
Speaker 2: see it. Yeah, yeah, you know if you're looking at
Speaker 2: if you if you look up from your phone or
Speaker 2: down at your phone, yeah, you'll find lots of examples
Speaker 2: of horrible things happening, for sure. And that makes you
Speaker 2: feel a sense of like, damn, I'm ungrateful for feeling
Speaker 2: like shit about my problems. And I've heard people talk
Speaker 2: about this, and I've heard people say things like like
Speaker 2: sad and this is relative and problems are relative and
Speaker 2: this and that and the other thing, and it's like, well,
Speaker 2: you know, like people people say like, oh, I think
Speaker 2: it's so annoying when I have a problem and then
Speaker 2: someone says to me, well, you could be starving in Africa.
Speaker 2: It could be worse, like people people get like annoyed
Speaker 2: by that. But I I I disagree. I disagree. I
Speaker 2: think every problem. I think every problem can totally be
Speaker 2: solved by being like, well, at least I'm not you know,
Speaker 2: in Sedan getting killed by a dictator. You know, I
Speaker 2: think that's real. I hate when people say that that
Speaker 2: that is that that's not real. Like if your brave,
Speaker 2: if you your girlfriend broke up with you, or you
Speaker 2: didn't sell enough necklaces on Etsy or whatever, and someone's like, well,
Speaker 2: it could be worse. You could be you know, starving
Speaker 2: to death in the streets, and you're like, fuck you,
Speaker 2: that's not helpful. I'm like, fuck you, that's really helpful.
Speaker 2: You could totally it could totally be worse. I really
Speaker 2: try to think about that a lot. So I so
Speaker 2: you're not crazy. You're not crazy for believing that your
Speaker 2: life is so much better because you don't live in
Speaker 2: a country where you could be killed by the government.
Speaker 2: I don't think that makes you crazy. But also, at
Speaker 2: the end of the day, you got to live your
Speaker 2: own life, because I think if you dive too deep
Speaker 2: into that, and I've dived really deep into that feeling
Speaker 2: of like, well, let me just negate my entire existence
Speaker 2: because it could be worse, and that's not helpful either.
Speaker 2: That's not helpful either. So you know, I'm working. I'm
Speaker 2: pondering this shit with you, and I think it's as
Speaker 2: as as is the answer to a lot of shit.
Speaker 2: It's a yin yang like hold a good make some
Speaker 2: room in your brain for like a dedication. You like,
Speaker 2: dedicate a real, nice, solid part of your brain portfolio
Speaker 2: twenty thirty forty percent whatever you want delegate a real
Speaker 2: solid part of your brain portfolio to. Thank God, I'm
Speaker 2: not living in a country that's deeply impoverished in at war. Really, really,
Speaker 2: that's worthy brain space to take, So dedicate that, But
Speaker 2: don't dedicate the whole brain to it or else or else?
Speaker 2: What even are you? You know you're You can't because
Speaker 2: you have to engage with your life. And part of
Speaker 2: engaging with your life is engaging with your problems and
Speaker 2: your conflicts, such as your relationship with your parents. So
Speaker 2: you still got to engage in that. You can't. Oh,
Speaker 2: it could be worse. Your way out of your problems entirely,
Speaker 2: but having a little bit of it could be worse.
Speaker 2: I could be living in a bad place and subject
Speaker 2: to horrible the horrible things of the universe. Is a
Speaker 2: good it's a good thing to keep it in perspective,
Speaker 2: But you can't just negate your life. So uh, I
Speaker 2: think it's healthy. Uh Okay. And then the part where
Speaker 2: you're like, how do I not let this haunt me exactly?
Speaker 2: You don't want to let it haunt you. How am
Speaker 2: I supposed to bring kids into this evil world one day?
Speaker 2: That's another problem is you don't want to look at
Speaker 2: the world as evil. You don't. And there's a lot
Speaker 2: but you know, there's a lot of fucking people that
Speaker 2: I've met and talked to who live One of the
Speaker 2: craziest things that I've experienced in my life is like,
Speaker 2: I feel like I've been so fucking lucky to live
Speaker 2: the life I live, not even just like you know
Speaker 2: this the like gecko stuff, but like just outside of that,
Speaker 2: just like living in a growing up in like a suburb,
Speaker 2: and like having good parents and all these things. And
Speaker 2: I feel I feel these feelings of like of like
Speaker 2: lack and of like, uh, depression or whatever. And I'll
Speaker 2: meet people who've grown up with and have so much
Speaker 2: less than I have, and their way and they just
Speaker 2: figure out a fucking way to like be happy and
Speaker 2: have a really positive outlook on the world. And I'm
Speaker 2: like and that and that, and that blows my mind,
Speaker 2: so uh. And I say that to mean that there's
Speaker 2: probably people whose lives are worse than yours. That don't
Speaker 2: think the world is evil. That there's people with who
Speaker 2: are who's lives are worse than yours, that have a
Speaker 2: better outlook on the planet than you do. And I
Speaker 2: know that because I've met people like that, talk to
Speaker 2: people like that, And so if they can have a
Speaker 2: shittier life than you, and less stuff than you, and
Speaker 2: worse problems than you and still not believe the world
Speaker 2: is evil, then I think you can too. So I
Speaker 2: don't think that. I don't I'm I don't think that
Speaker 2: like object doom and being like, oh the world is
Speaker 2: an evil, awful, terrible place. Being like, oh the world
Speaker 2: is an evil, awful, terrible place is not fucking helpful
Speaker 2: to anyone in the same way that being like, dude,
Speaker 2: everything is fucking great. Like when you meet a guy
Speaker 2: like that who's like, everything's amazing, Everything's awesome. I just
Speaker 2: love being alive, and it's like, yeah, because you have
Speaker 2: whatever the thing is or maybe or maybe you don't,
Speaker 2: maybe it don't. I like a measured thing. I like
Speaker 2: a measured perspective of the world of like something in
Speaker 2: between those two things of like, yeah, there's some crazy
Speaker 2: shit going on. There's a civil war in suitan there's
Speaker 2: a horrible poverty and crazy wars and is awful stuff
Speaker 2: going on, and you know, it's good to be aware
Speaker 2: of that, like but also, like you know, there's a
Speaker 2: lot of good stuff happening to people. There's great things
Speaker 2: happening all over the world. There's right now, as I'm
Speaker 2: right now, as I'm recording this, all over the planet,
Speaker 2: there's like two, three, maybe four people who are eating
Speaker 2: something and talking to each other. That's happening. That's happening
Speaker 2: in an unfathomable amount across the planet Earth right now
Speaker 2: is a group of two to four people eating something
Speaker 2: and talking to each other. That's kind of amazing, that's
Speaker 2: kind of beautiful. So you take this pros and cons
Speaker 2: to it, and those four and those four people who
Speaker 2: are eating something and talking to each other there they
Speaker 2: have their own whatever problem's going on with their life,
Speaker 2: but they have also little moments where things are good
Speaker 2: and you have to believe that the good outweighs the
Speaker 2: bad enough that life's worth living. And we want to
Speaker 2: keep doing this, we want to keep doing this enough
Speaker 2: that we'll bring a kid here. I've thought about that too, man,
Speaker 2: I was thinking about that yesterday. I was i got
Speaker 2: to earlier this year. I was in such a dumor
Speaker 2: existentialist place that I was. I was on the Wikipedia
Speaker 2: page for anti natalism. Maybe I talked about this already,
Speaker 2: but yeah, and I was like looking through this like
Speaker 2: movement of people who believe that it's like morally wrong
Speaker 2: to have children and like bring consciousness into the world.
Speaker 2: I was thinking about that. I was like, yeah, I was.
Speaker 2: I was feeling really scared yesterday because I was thinking about,
Speaker 2: like if I want to have a kid, and I
Speaker 2: was like, fuck, that's a terrifying idea to me that
Speaker 2: I like bring consciousness into the world and then my
Speaker 2: kid is unhappy or feels, uh, you know, has exist
Speaker 2: some bad life, and I would feel weirdly responsible for that, Like,
Speaker 2: oh fuck, I've brought a new consciousness into this like
Speaker 2: kind of difficult thing and now I'm responsible for that.
Speaker 2: Like that spooks That spooks me out for sure. But
Speaker 2: I think it's gonna be up to me to believe
Speaker 2: that this thing that we're experiencing between two Oreo cookies
Speaker 2: of fucking oblivion is uh is worth, it is a
Speaker 2: cool ride, is a good thing, and that I have
Speaker 2: the opportunity to uh like install a positive perspective upon
Speaker 2: or dude, try the best I fucking can. I mean,
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, you bring a kid
Speaker 2: into this world, and you you have, of course a
Speaker 2: lot of influences. You have probably the most influence. You'll
Speaker 2: be the most influential person to this kid's life. And
Speaker 2: you know, I try to do that the best you can.
Speaker 2: But then after that, they, you know, develop their own
Speaker 2: perception of the world. And that's kind of a beautiful
Speaker 2: thing too. But uh, yeah, you have the opportunity to
Speaker 2: find your own I guess joy and positive perspective and
Speaker 2: like show and like introduce you can't make You can
Speaker 2: lead a horse to water, but you can't make it.
Speaker 2: You can lead a horse to good vibes, but you
Speaker 2: can't make them take it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: You can introduce your kid to like, oh, hey, this
Speaker 2: is a way of looking at the world that I
Speaker 2: think is good, and you can't make them take it,
Speaker 2: but you can at least be like I tried to
Speaker 2: introduce them to it. So is it not morally wrong
Speaker 2: to be sending the next generation into a place where
Speaker 2: so much bad happens? But also think about it like this,
Speaker 2: and I think about it all the time. And I
Speaker 2: have been the thing like I've been talking about on
Speaker 2: the show of like bad shit has been happening forever.
Speaker 2: I mean there's bad things have been happening forever, and
Speaker 2: we keep that, we keep doing it, we keep doing it.
Speaker 2: This is not new like all the stuff that we're
Speaker 2: thinking all the like uh numerism that we're dealing with.
Speaker 2: It's not like our problem where it's we have new problems.
Speaker 1: But like.
Speaker 2: You know, think about like whatever nineteen thirty whatever the
Speaker 2: fuck being like you know, oh fuck, this Hitler guy
Speaker 2: is kind of crazy. Uh, the world? Is it war?
Speaker 2: Should we have a kid? I don't know about how
Speaker 2: I feel about the world right now. You know, we
Speaker 2: figure it out. We just keep we keep figuring it out.
Speaker 2: And we've been and I'm pretty confident that we'll keep
Speaker 2: figuring it out because we just we keep figuring it
Speaker 2: out after like, uh, I mean, isn't that wild? We
Speaker 2: people keep even in like fucking places that have experienced
Speaker 2: a lot of turmoil, people keep having kids, and they
Speaker 2: keep figuring it out, and they keep deciding either logically
Speaker 2: or just or biologically their bodies. I mean, we're programmed
Speaker 2: to fucking reproduce. We just keep deciding we want to
Speaker 2: keep doing it. So the answer to why we keep
Speaker 2: deciding that as a species that we want to keep
Speaker 2: doing it is beyond me. I think it's just innate.
Speaker 2: I think it's just as a species where like sharks,
Speaker 2: we just want to We just fucking want to keep
Speaker 2: going and we're gonna do it. If you believe yourself
Speaker 2: to be part of a eight billion large collective conscious,
Speaker 2: we've unanimously, not unanimously, but we've kind of as a
Speaker 2: whole decided that we're gonna keep doing this until we can't.
Speaker 2: So if you wanna, with whatever individual agency you have,
Speaker 2: make a new person and try to raise them to
Speaker 2: be one of the good ones, I think that's a
Speaker 2: noble thing to do, regardless of would you believe the
Speaker 2: current state of the world to be, because there's always
Speaker 2: gonna be there's never gonna be a time where something
Speaker 2: bad is not happening, and there's never and there's never
Speaker 2: gonna be a time where something good's not happening. I
Speaker 2: really do believe this is bad. There's so like you,
Speaker 2: and that's why I love living in the city because
Speaker 2: every day I see, like, if you live in like
Speaker 2: a big American city like every day, or I guess
Speaker 2: a lot of European cities, there's not a lot of
Speaker 2: like a like I don't know, I haven't been to
Speaker 2: a lot of Asian cities, but like, uh, I think
Speaker 2: in most major places, you walk around and you see
Speaker 2: people living in some form of poverty. But then you
Speaker 2: also just see like if you if you're if you're
Speaker 2: looking for it, go on a walk outside in a
Speaker 2: populated area and you just watch like a mom like
Speaker 2: walking with their like normal fucking things, like a mom
Speaker 2: like walking with their kid and the kid has is
Speaker 2: holding a thing, or like two people just like someone
Speaker 2: just walking and existing like like, I don't know, there's
Speaker 2: good stuff about being alive as well as bad stuff.
Speaker 2: I've been ranking about this for too long, but I
Speaker 2: hope you understand what I'm kind of trying to say.
Speaker 2: All right, Okay, this is from jose Hey Lyle. I'm
Speaker 2: an on and off listener, and I want to know
Speaker 2: how tall you are. I'm five foot six and a half.
Speaker 2: I was five foot seven and then I started telling
Speaker 2: the truth. When I go on the day, when I
Speaker 2: go on the dating apps, I'm five foot seven. I
Speaker 2: can get away with five foot seven. I'm five foot
Speaker 2: six and a half. I'm somewhere in between five foot
Speaker 2: six and five foot seven, and uh, you know, I
Speaker 2: can work with five foot seven. I could work with
Speaker 2: five foot six, honestly whatever. I think. I've gone through
Speaker 2: ebbs and flows about my height where sometimes I get
Speaker 2: really insecure about it, and then other times I'm like,
Speaker 2: it's so stupid to be insecure about your height. It
Speaker 2: really is. It really is stupid to be insecure about
Speaker 2: your height. I sometimes I go to bush I think
Speaker 2: I go to Bushwick sometimes and that's a strong Mexican community,
Speaker 2: and I think in general Mexican guys are a little shorter.
Speaker 2: Walk around Bushwick and I'll see like a five foot
Speaker 2: three Mexican guy with a beautiful girlfriend, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: you know, we like, this is workable, you can work
Speaker 2: with this. Okay, wait, there's another height thing. Okay, here
Speaker 2: we go, Yeah, there we go. All right. This is
Speaker 2: from Danny, subject line five foot guy with women troubles.
Speaker 2: Dear Gek, First and foremost, you and your podcast are wicked.
Speaker 2: I've been listening to your show for almost a year now.
Speaker 2: It's been such a refreshing way to get new perspectives
Speaker 2: on life and hear experiences I'd never come across otherwise.
Speaker 2: Having you on in the background during my my team calls, Outlook, Grind,
Speaker 2: and daily work routine has made the nine to five
Speaker 2: so much more bearable. For context, I'm twenty five years old,
Speaker 2: five foot in stature, single and ready to mingle. I
Speaker 2: haven't been in a relationship for the past two years.
Speaker 2: I mentioned my height because it's been a bit of
Speaker 2: a hurdle on dating apps. Being short isn't exactly society's
Speaker 2: gold standard for attractiveness, and that can suck sometimes, but
Speaker 2: it is what it is. I've been using Tinder and
Speaker 2: Hinge for a couple of years. Met my past girlfriend's there, Okay,
Speaker 2: fucking we got some. We got some, we got a
Speaker 2: track record, and while I do get matches and occasional dates,
Speaker 2: there are definitely dry spells. Since moving to a new
Speaker 2: city last year, I've only been on two dates. I
Speaker 2: feel like I've reached a place where I'm comfortable being alone,
Speaker 2: but I still want to find someone to experience life with.
Speaker 2: I'm not trying to rush into a relationship just to
Speaker 2: check a box. I want it to feel right, so
Speaker 2: here's someone in my mind, I matched with a girl,
Speaker 2: let's call her April on Hinge. I was attracted to
Speaker 2: her and after a few days of texting, we set
Speaker 2: up a date. By the way, just like, that's another like, look,
Speaker 2: this guy's five feet and he's able to find meet
Speaker 2: a lady unhinged. And also, here's another cool thing I
Speaker 2: like about this is this guy's not like, uh whatever
Speaker 2: cards you were adults on the planet of like height
Speaker 2: or whatever whatever it is. It's it's only over when
Speaker 2: you when you spiral because you read this guy's email
Speaker 2: and this guy like this guy because this guy again,
Speaker 2: you can't. Falling into doom is not a good strategy,
Speaker 2: as is falling into blind optimism. Look at this guy.
Speaker 2: This guy's like, look I because this guy's like, look,
Speaker 2: it sucks being short, but it is what it is. Like,
Speaker 2: that's a perfect mindset. Because if this guy was like,
Speaker 2: I'm foot six, it's over. I'll just I just have
Speaker 2: to assume I'm never gonna be happy ever in my life,
Speaker 2: then you know that's he's never gonna be anywhere. But look,
Speaker 2: he's got a he's a sensible guy. He has some
Speaker 2: fucking grip on himself and so he's able to, you know,
Speaker 2: meet someone. Okay, I met a girl. We set up
Speaker 2: a date. We went thrifting and grabbed a late lunch
Speaker 2: an early dinner. I paid, did the gentleman thing. Date
Speaker 2: went well, conversation flowed, she was receptive. At the end,
Speaker 2: she asked if I wanted to hang out again. I
Speaker 2: said yes. Afterwards she texted me a lot of sweet messages,
Speaker 2: complimenting me and checking in on my day. I responded
Speaker 2: with playful, cute replies. But now I'm not sure how
Speaker 2: I feel about her. It feels like she's more into
Speaker 2: me than I am into her. Oh my god, look
Speaker 2: at this. This is not how where I thought this
Speaker 2: email was coming. Don't get me wrong. Being chased is nice,
Speaker 2: But I don't know if we see this turning. I
Speaker 2: don't know if I see this turning into a long
Speaker 2: term relationship. We have a I can date, planned moving
Speaker 2: it at her place where young. We have urges. We
Speaker 2: might not watch the movie if you catch my drift. Okay,
Speaker 2: but I worry about leading her on if I go
Speaker 2: through with it, and that thought keeps lingering. Can I
Speaker 2: do better? It sounds shallow, but it's there, so I'm
Speaker 2: asking for your advice. What should I do? You know, well,
Speaker 2: the I used, by the way, the whole idea of
Speaker 2: like can I do better? Being shallow. Can I do better?
Speaker 2: Is not like a when you say can I do better?
Speaker 2: It doesn't mean like, uh, I don't think that's like
Speaker 2: reflective of the other person. That's a reflective of you.
Speaker 2: When you say can I do better, you're not like,
Speaker 2: can I do better? In terms of like this person
Speaker 2: that's standing up, can I find a better person? You're
Speaker 2: more like, can I find a person where I feel
Speaker 2: a better feeling about them? So I don't think that
Speaker 2: that's shallow necessarily, because what's the fucking point, right, Because
Speaker 2: if you're like not that into this person, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean everyone's experiences this shit differently. Some people they
Speaker 2: can like be not that into some person and then
Speaker 2: over time they really like grow with them and they
Speaker 2: feel good with them and they kind of get a uh,
Speaker 2: they get they get like a positive you know, they
Speaker 2: they develop attraction over time. And that could be you,
Speaker 2: But I don't know, maybe you're maybe you're not that guy.
Speaker 2: Have you been that guy in the past, Like you
Speaker 2: said you met your past girlfriend's there. Are you a
Speaker 2: slow build guy or are you a I know when
Speaker 2: I know it guy? If you if you've been a
Speaker 2: slow build guy and you kind of feel in your
Speaker 2: gut you're like I could, I could be a slow
Speaker 2: build guy. I could slowly build attraction, then go for it.
Speaker 2: But if you're if you know in your gut that
Speaker 2: you're not a slow build guy, then I understand wanted
Speaker 2: to call it, and I don't. I don't think it's
Speaker 2: shallow because I think also, like you want to fucking
Speaker 2: be with someone that you want to be with and
Speaker 2: you want and so does this fucking this lady wants
Speaker 2: to be with someone that wants to be with her.
Speaker 2: So I don't think it's shallow to look for a
Speaker 2: stronger connection. I don't. I don't even think it's reflective
Speaker 2: of this lady. I think it's just reflective of like
Speaker 2: your own brain. That's That's another thing about like attraction
Speaker 2: is it's so it's a lot more complicated I think
Speaker 2: than people give it credit for. I mean, obviously, in general,
Speaker 2: like if you're more physically attractive, if you're taller, if
Speaker 2: you're in better shape, and you know, you get people,
Speaker 2: more people are going to be attracted to you, but
Speaker 2: like there's still a lot of subtleties that make it
Speaker 2: so that you can't be too black and white with
Speaker 2: this stuff. Uh So that's that's what I suggest you
Speaker 2: should do, is decide if you're open to a slow
Speaker 2: burn or if you're not, then it's okay to it's
Speaker 2: okay to withdraw respectfully. Uh let's see here, let's do
Speaker 2: one or two more. Uh okay. This is from Malachi.
Speaker 2: Subject line, I got stalked by a creep in prison.
Speaker 2: My name is Malachi aka Invader mal and I wanted
Speaker 2: to share a story with you. That's funny now, but
Speaker 2: back then it had me shook. I was locked up
Speaker 2: in prison and for a minute I had a cell
Speaker 2: buddy who called himself Mike that smokes crack. I thought
Speaker 2: it was just a weird nickname, but it turns out
Speaker 2: he was a full blown creep. Dude. Was this fat,
Speaker 2: oversized white guy. And at first he told me he
Speaker 2: got locked up for breaking into a pharmacy in the daytime,
Speaker 2: high on drugs after his girlfriend left him. Sounded believable
Speaker 2: until it got weird. One night, I'm asleep in my
Speaker 2: bunk and I wake up to this dude literally sitting
Speaker 2: at the edge of my bed watching me sleep. I
Speaker 2: jump up, I go what the hell and he hits
Speaker 2: me with, oh, hey, sell, buddy, I was just waiting
Speaker 2: for you to wake up. Jes got off the phone
Speaker 2: with my pastor bro what So later that day I
Speaker 2: told one of my big homies, yes, I'm a gang member.
Speaker 2: Tree Top pierro a blood set. I let my og
Speaker 2: know that Mike was watching me sleep, and he said,
Speaker 2: if he do that again, let me know we're gonna
Speaker 2: handle it. The funny part. I'm playing spades in the
Speaker 2: card room later that week and I run upstairs to
Speaker 2: grab my coffee. Mike's in the cell and goes, hey, sell, buddy,
Speaker 2: I accidentally showed someone my butt. I'm like what. He
Speaker 2: explains he was in the shower, bent over with the
Speaker 2: curtain wide open, and a Muslim brother saw him. That
Speaker 2: Muslim brother threatened to stab him for real. I went
Speaker 2: and asked the Muslim brother myself, and he said, Bro
Speaker 2: was straight bent over in the shower like he was
Speaker 2: in a music video. I was done. So now I'm
Speaker 2: thinking something's off. Rumors start going around the unit that
Speaker 2: he's in for touching boys at a Catholic church. I
Speaker 2: asked for his paperwork, and he sends me some fake
Speaker 2: nonsense that said breaking and entering. I dig deeper and
Speaker 2: find the real charges, multiple counts of molesting boys in
Speaker 2: the church. That night I went to bed with a plan,
Speaker 2: wake up and get him the hell out of my cell.
Speaker 2: I wake up to him again, staring at me, this
Speaker 2: time sitting on the bunk reading a book like this
Speaker 2: was some lifetime movie. I said, nah, not again. I
Speaker 2: ran to my og The whole blood set formed up.
Speaker 2: We went in that cell, took all his commissary, his food,
Speaker 2: and kicked him out barefoot. It was like prison house hunters.
Speaker 2: He got moved to the old man tier and where
Speaker 2: it is. They beat his ass and had him transferred
Speaker 2: out to another prison. When I got home, I looked
Speaker 2: him up. Everything was true. Not only did he have
Speaker 2: those charges, but apparently he used to sleep up in
Speaker 2: the rafters at church and wait until the service started
Speaker 2: and play with himself. That man was a real life boogieman. So, Gecko,
Speaker 2: what would you have done in that situation? Dude? I
Speaker 2: don't I don't know what would I What would I
Speaker 2: have done in that situation? I would have gone to
Speaker 2: sleep and been like I'm gonna would I would have
Speaker 2: just slept as much as I possibly could. Probably I
Speaker 2: would have been I would have attempted to be unconscious
Speaker 2: as long as humanly possible. I would have read a
Speaker 2: book and be like I would have I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know what I would have done in that situation. Man,
Speaker 2: how are you doing now? Matt? Like I call in,
Speaker 2: I want to talk to you. You see to make an
Speaker 2: interesting guy. I want to hear more more stories about
Speaker 2: what's going on with you. If you're listening, I want
Speaker 2: to I want to hear what's going on. You got
Speaker 2: a good you got it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I like the way you tell stories. Also, yeah, I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm only hearing about Mike, who smokes crack.
Speaker 2: I want to hear about Malachi. I want to hear
Speaker 2: what's going on with you. Let's see here. I think
Speaker 2: that's it. I think I think I'm done reading email
Speaker 2: for now. Thank you guys for listening to the podcast.
Speaker 2: I hope you enjoyed it. I hope it was a
Speaker 2: good time for you all.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: I hope I didn't piss anyone off every time. I
Speaker 2: I don't. I think I try to be pretty fair
Speaker 2: about the way I do this, But sometimes I'm like,
Speaker 2: am I pissing someone off?
Speaker 4: Right? Now?
Speaker 2: That's the that's the trade off of talking into a
Speaker 2: microphone and putting it on the internet, is you can
Speaker 2: just piss someone off somehow. I hope I don't do that. Okay,
Speaker 2: maybe I should read one more? Should I read one more?
Speaker 2: I'll read one more. I'll make the podcast a little
Speaker 2: bit longer. Okay, let's see here, Hey GEK call me ismail.
Speaker 2: Oh the subject line is h I stopped listening to podcasts.
Speaker 2: Hey GEK call me ismail. Thanks for all the time
Speaker 2: I spent on your podcast because I was depressed and
Speaker 2: wouldn't leave my house and had to remember how regular
Speaker 2: conversations worked. Now the Lexapro is working, and in a
Speaker 2: four month turnaround, I'm sleeping with two people that know
Speaker 2: about each other and are fine with it and love
Speaker 2: biting me. He capitalized all those anything that I said
Speaker 2: in that weird voice. He he had fully capitalized. Big
Speaker 2: shout out to Lexapro. Glad I'm not dead. I don't
Speaker 2: have a whole lot of use for podcasts now that
Speaker 2: I quit night shifts at UPS and got my sleep
Speaker 2: schedule right, started getting some writing done in a coffee
Speaker 2: shop and then going up to people that I'd seen
Speaker 2: around town, which is possible without lexapro for those interested.
Speaker 2: I got back to therapy. Fuck, working out, meds and
Speaker 2: sleep is fucking fine. I don't know what that last
Speaker 2: part means, but I mean working out it's cool. I
Speaker 2: always forget that I'm great at talking to people when
Speaker 2: I'm hold up in my room. Thanks for getting me
Speaker 2: through the night shift. I have listening since episode ten,
Speaker 2: but I have to go now. Sorry, and thanks again.
Speaker 2: Is Meil, But you know what is mil? I'm I'm
Speaker 2: happy to hear. Oh he sent this. He sent this
Speaker 2: email a long time. He sent this email months ago,
Speaker 2: so he's not he's not even gonna hear this. But whatever,
Speaker 2: he's he's having sex right now with two people that
Speaker 2: know about each other and are fine with it and
Speaker 2: love biting him. So that's good. Hmm. Yeah, that happens
Speaker 2: to me all the time. Man, Oh God, that hapens
Speaker 2: to me all the time. I'll be like, I'll be
Speaker 2: like really fucking depressed and like not wanting to talk
Speaker 2: to anyone, and I'll be like, shit, I think I've
Speaker 2: there's been so many times. It happens multiple times a
Speaker 2: week where I'm just like, shit, I don't think I
Speaker 2: can have a conversation with another human being. I do
Speaker 2: it for a living, and I'm just like, fuck, I
Speaker 2: don't I can't talk to other people. And then let's
Speaker 2: have a day where I'm like, I don't know the
Speaker 2: fucking vivance hits right or the sun hits right or whatever,
Speaker 2: and I'm just like, damn, I forgot that I'm actually
Speaker 2: awesome at talking to people. You got to remind yourself
Speaker 2: who you are. It's in there, folks. You just got
Speaker 2: to remind yourself who you are sometimes, and then you
Speaker 2: could end up like Ismail and stop listening to this
Speaker 2: podcast as well. No, thank you guys for listening.
Speaker 4: I listen.
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't, I don't. It's funny because this
Speaker 2: kind of harkens back to the very first caller we had.
Speaker 2: But uh, I don't, I don't know. I listened to
Speaker 2: a lot of podcasts just for like I guess noise,
Speaker 2: not so much for like social interaction. I fall asleep
Speaker 2: every night to podcasts about Nintendo games. I love that shit,
Speaker 2: And you know what, I'm gonna go do that right now.
Speaker 2: Actually I'm not. It's the morning time. So thank you,
Speaker 2: guys for listening to Therapy Gecko. I'm a gecko. I
Speaker 2: hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope this was good
Speaker 2: for you guys. I hope you enjoyed being here. I
Speaker 2: enjoyed recording it. I know that much. Thank you all.
Speaker 2: Have a good night and have a good What is
Speaker 2: it today's Wednesday? Okay, have a good weekend. Everyone, Get blessed,
Speaker 2: see you around the universe. Repeat, Get Ghosts on the line,
Speaker 2: taking your phone calls every night. The repeat, Get ghost
Speaker 2: doing his ride. He's teaching you a housing over your life,
Speaker 2: but he's not really an expert.