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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast,

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Speaker 1: Firm Elvis Presents fifteen minute Morning Show. Here we go

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Speaker 1: to our fifteen minute morning show podcast. Look at that

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Speaker 1: everyone decided to show up. There's Froggy, and there's Scotty

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Speaker 1: b there's Danielle, and there's there's Gandhi, and there's Garrett,

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Speaker 1: and there's Brody and of course straight Nate is shuffling

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Speaker 1: his butt hurt car. Brody looks so blurry. What is

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Speaker 1: is your lens? No, that's a special filter to make

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Speaker 1: it on the lens. That's Barbara Walters filter. Bacon. Let's

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Speaker 1: let's see and no less blurry. I think before you,

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Speaker 1: before you put it in your mouth, you're going to

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Speaker 1: things that you look good, you know. Yeah? Um, all right,

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Speaker 1: so before you get started, Scotty says he has a

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Speaker 1: proposal for a kickstart for the show. What is that? Scotty?

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Speaker 1: I would like to propose something for public restrooms. Um,

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Speaker 1: this wouldn't work so well for women's rooms, but I

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Speaker 1: think that for men's rooms there should be a room

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Speaker 1: for number one with urinals and a room for number

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Speaker 1: two with toilets. They already have that, No they don't.

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Speaker 1: Some some do I don't want to be accosted by

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Speaker 1: that smell when I just got in here to p like,

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Speaker 1: I just went into the bathroom and I almost vomited.

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Speaker 1: I had to put my shirt up over my nose

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Speaker 1: just to go to the bathroom. Like it should be separate.

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Speaker 1: Was it fresh? Still charticles floating? There was? Yes, that's

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Speaker 1: what they are, Daniel. You say it all the time,

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Speaker 1: and we're off to another start, Scott. The only thing

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Speaker 1: that would do is that would shame the guys going

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Speaker 1: in and out of the number two rooms, and that

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Speaker 1: people wouldn't go into the number two room. They would

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Speaker 1: just poop in the number one room and it would

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Speaker 1: be a problem. You can't. Why is it that you

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Speaker 1: get that and the girls don't get that? Beau? You

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Speaker 1: really it's difficult because they're all toilets for you. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter though. We don't want to smell that. What

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Speaker 1: do you want to wait? Wait, here's the thing. If

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Speaker 1: it's in the men's room, it's easy to determine where

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Speaker 1: you can pee and where you can pooh because we

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Speaker 1: stand up to pee, that's the urinal room, sit down

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Speaker 1: to pooh, that's the toilet room. With women, you don't

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Speaker 1: have your you have to have a sign, say, people

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Speaker 1: who poogle, you would have like a little stick figure sign.

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Speaker 1: You would have like you know that you would have

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Speaker 1: the woman's sign, but there would be like little like

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Speaker 1: little drops on one sign, and then the other sign

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Speaker 1: would have like the poop emoji on it. There you go.

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Speaker 1: See this is why I love us, because we said

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Speaker 1: we can't come up with answers to except when the

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Speaker 1: line gets too long at the poop toilets, the women

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Speaker 1: to go poop in the pat toilets. Well, we have

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Speaker 1: to have someone in there to watch that, now, don't we.

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Speaker 1: Did anybody see this picture online? I'm not sure if

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Speaker 1: it's real, but they had urinals in the men's room,

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Speaker 1: but it was like a massive funnel that went to

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Speaker 1: a little hole and that's where apparently you stuck your

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Speaker 1: dinger in and you peeed into the funnel so to

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Speaker 1: avoid like splashing, because you know when you're you're a

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Speaker 1: guy and you pee in the and there's like I

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Speaker 1: don't want my thing there anyone Else's what if your

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Speaker 1: penis is bigger than the tube or just the right

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Speaker 1: size and it gets stuck that it's not playing, it's

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Speaker 1: like playing Operation if he touched the sides, the nose

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Speaker 1: turns right. I mean the worst is the big metal

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Speaker 1: trough like in the nightclub, you know, with ice in it,

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Speaker 1: and the shoulder to shoulder peeing in a trough on

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Speaker 1: both sides too, so they're looking at each other. We've

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Speaker 1: been on this this this podcast for what less than

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Speaker 1: four minutes, and it's already in the depths of hell.

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Speaker 1: We started there, though usually we descend into it, but

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Speaker 1: we just started right. The first problem was when Elvis said, Scotty,

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Speaker 1: you started right, you know, Scott Scotty actually was as

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Speaker 1: clean as possible in describing the problem the poop room

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Speaker 1: versus the people. It wouldn't work in our building because

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Speaker 1: we already know that there's people that don't know how

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Speaker 1: to flush toilets in our bathroom. No, no no, but you

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Speaker 1: can't poop in a urinal, so I think it would

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Speaker 1: work well. That guy. Would you, like, do you put

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Speaker 1: paper towels on the toilet in your house? Why would

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Speaker 1: you do that anywhere else? Because because you're a fucking asshole,

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Speaker 1: Why do you have paper towels in your bathroom at home?

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Speaker 1: But not it's not even the paper towel, it's like sandpaper.

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Speaker 1: That's the thing. Like if you think about it, like

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Speaker 1: why would you know? No one knows what we're talking about.

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Speaker 1: There's a guy that goes down to the men's room

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Speaker 1: and he takes the hand towels that you're supposed to

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Speaker 1: throw in the trash after you wipe your hands off,

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Speaker 1: and he throws them in the toilet to the brim

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Speaker 1: of the toilet where we're just because we used them

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Speaker 1: to line in the seat. He doesn't like, there's no

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Speaker 1: way he lines the seat with that many to no way,

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Speaker 1: no way. Five I've seen it. It takes five sea

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Speaker 1: fall paper towels to cover the seat. It was so

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Speaker 1: bad last week building management had to bring a shovel upstairs.

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Speaker 1: If you never come to that, if you have to

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Speaker 1: shovel out the men's room. Since they're talking about toilets

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Speaker 1: and bathrooms, can we talk about Scary for a second.

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Speaker 1: Nate and I were a little dumbfounded by his his

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Speaker 1: announcement today in the room when the mics are off.

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Speaker 1: You know, Scary is the guy we know, right, He

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Speaker 1: buys bougie everything. He refuses to use anything but single

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Speaker 1: ply toilet paper, which is the worst awful thing to

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Speaker 1: use the thing is, He says, his toilet is not

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Speaker 1: a good swallower's defense. Okay, I've never, in all the

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Speaker 1: years I've lived in my apartment on my own, had

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Speaker 1: to use the plunger beside my toilet, because I use

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Speaker 1: single ply because I'm always afraid. I've had nightmares before

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Speaker 1: that my toilet would overflow, and I don't want to

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Speaker 1: see it overflow. Toilet, what are you? What are you

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Speaker 1: afraid you're gonna You're not gonna flush the whole roll down?

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Speaker 1: Scary when you go to other people's house, Just just

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Speaker 1: to clarify, scary. Not knowing what he was talking about,

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Speaker 1: he was convinced his apartment had a septic tank. He goes,

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Speaker 1: I can't plug up my septic tank. But whatever the

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Speaker 1: thing is, I prefer in this world, in that universe,

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Speaker 1: I prefer single ply to two pl When you go

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Speaker 1: to somebody else's house that has double ply, you don't

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Speaker 1: feel like, wow, this is this is a nice luxury,

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Speaker 1: this is living large. I notice a difference. And your

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Speaker 1: ship's that massive that you didn't have to do that.

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Speaker 1: Have a lifetime of chafed the butt. Then maybe a

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Speaker 1: toilet overflows once in twenty years. Things in life, like

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Speaker 1: paper towels, like Kleenex. I'll buy that made you made

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Speaker 1: your points. You wash your hands because this breakage and

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Speaker 1: stuff going slurge in other areas, not in my toilet,

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Speaker 1: on the hotel's drapes. From what you've told us, who

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Speaker 1: knows splurs? I'm aware of the for you know it alright? Alright,

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Speaker 1: can just like tone it down? Just the hair, hold

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Speaker 1: your hand up to the camera. Need to check on

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Speaker 1: your fingernails over the seat too. I don't understand how

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Speaker 1: that happens, is that you cleaning it up? No Elvis

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Speaker 1: had hair, you know what. I to be honest in

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Speaker 1: Scotty's defense. The bathroom in the hallway, I don't understand

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Speaker 1: how people don't realize that they it's and it's not

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Speaker 1: what they've done in the toilet. I swear it's that

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Speaker 1: they haven't showered. And you don't know you smell like that?

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Speaker 1: How is that possible? I don't know how that's don't

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Speaker 1: behind the smell easy. The weird thing about that bathroom

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Speaker 1: with the main lobby, there's a picture of Elton John

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Speaker 1: in there, John performing Like you're going to the bathroom

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Speaker 1: and there's Elton John looking at you scary. I'm on

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Speaker 1: your side with the single plot. You're okay, you live

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Speaker 1: your life. I'm going to no way. But I tell

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Speaker 1: I told him. They sell nautical toilet paper, which just

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Speaker 1: it dissolves if if it's human outside, it's that sensitive.

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Speaker 1: You should get some of that stuff. Stuff they use

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Speaker 1: on on yachts and sailboats. And now I'm aware of

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Speaker 1: its existence. You should get a tushy and actually have

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Speaker 1: a clean ass. Yeah, Elvis is nautical toilet paper, like

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Speaker 1: less than one plot, like what I know, you don't

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Speaker 1: even know. It's just it breaks down easily, that kind

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Speaker 1: of goes in the water, just so it's gone. It's

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Speaker 1: magic that you use the stuff they use in the

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Speaker 1: port of John's a concerts right, Oh, the blue stuff.

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Speaker 1: I hate toilets, hate toilet stuff. Didn't get rid of them.

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Speaker 1: Don't never use a toilet against Are we playing the

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Speaker 1: game anything but the scary place? But heard every time

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Speaker 1: he goes to the bathroom because you single ply well,

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Speaker 1: we really, Elvis, in your absence, we renamed this game

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Speaker 1: close second Brody. Why after every response somebody would say

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Speaker 1: a name of a person in the room and close

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Speaker 1: second Brody, So all right, let's see how it Let's

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Speaker 1: see how it works today. Ok, here we go, Elvis.

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Speaker 1: We'll start with you. Who is the last person in

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Speaker 1: this zoom room that you'd want to see naked? Myself? Second?

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Speaker 1: Close likewise by the wise likewise. I didn't say Brody

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Speaker 1: likewise fuck you Brodie in first place? Well, how did

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Speaker 1: I get fuck you? Then mentioned my name you likewise

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Speaker 1: well likewise meaning I don't want to see myself naked either,

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Speaker 1: not likewise you likewise me. My comment was after they

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Speaker 1: commented on I don't want to see anyone naked. I

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Speaker 1: don't see including me. Take back to funk you insult

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Speaker 1: to myself? Fuck you when you're right? All right? Who

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Speaker 1: pleasures themselves? I masturbates the most? Scotti Batty, I say God, Yes,

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Speaker 1: I think God close. Second Brody, truth that I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be with myself either. You guys all want

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Speaker 1: to go for the punchline. Let's take real. I think

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Speaker 1: Gandhi's like in the top token. You know what I think, Scott.

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Speaker 1: There's no way I do one more than Scott. What

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Speaker 1: do you guys think this way? Because that's the persona,

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Speaker 1: the persona that you I understand that but you know

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Speaker 1: it's it's just a persona sake. Okay. Who is least

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Speaker 1: likely to lose their temper? Danielle? Not close second? Seriously, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think I think Gandhi's up there too. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think I think Garrett. Garrett. I've never seen Garrett really

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Speaker 1: truly loves Yeah. Yeah, well when you do, you get

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Speaker 1: on that. Who is if you had to have someone

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Speaker 1: in this zoom room living in your house with you,

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Speaker 1: who would it be? Scotty? I would have to say Nate.

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Speaker 1: I think we're the most compatible. Yeah, I can see

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Speaker 1: you guys have a little trick. So Nate has two

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Speaker 1: sets of cards. The red ones will be close second, Brody,

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Speaker 1: because the red ones are all the negative stuff are

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Speaker 1: the positive things? How that works is how those things work. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure how anybody would answer this one. Gandhi?

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Speaker 1: Who is the most annoying? Brody? Wait? Close second? Scotty? Okay, Scotty, Okay,

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Speaker 1: hang on? Who handles all? Right? Garrett? Who handles adversity

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Speaker 1: the best? I mean probably Froggy? Good thing? There you go. Okay,

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Speaker 1: the first time I've ever heard that, I've never heard

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Speaker 1: that ship before. He's very good he hasn't ever had

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Speaker 1: had to handle adversity. Yes he does, he just doesn't

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Speaker 1: let it bother room. Danielle has seen me in times

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Speaker 1: of great adversity, and I'm not sure I handle it well.

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Speaker 1: I'l man, Yeah, like your toilet paper. Close second, by

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Speaker 1: this could be this. Somebody could really but hurt here?

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Speaker 1: Who Brody, who is the dumbest? Scary? Okay, everybody stand

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Speaker 1: up right now? Shows Gandhi already is standing up. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I was just wearing a black Okay, so Froggy, what

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Speaker 1: are we doing? Who is the worst dressed right now?

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Speaker 1: Scar Rod? Close second, Brody, No, I don't think anybody

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Speaker 1: is really terribly dressed right now. I think we're all

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Speaker 1: pretty boring T shirt, all wearing the same thing we

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Speaker 1: dressed for work in radio. I say, Garrett, because it

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Speaker 1: says kale and that's disgusting, messed up, It's delicious, terrible

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Speaker 1: all right? Okay, uh, I think we all know the

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Speaker 1: answer to this one the least common sense, sorry, Danielle, Yeah, kids,

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Speaker 1: really yeah? Absolutely? Second, you invest in crypto or f

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Speaker 1: al right? Everything changed my answer? Scary even looking like

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Speaker 1: crypto portfolio has a compost heap in his apartment. That's

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Speaker 1: really weird. Okay, Elvis, yea, yeah, yeah. Who would you

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Speaker 1: most like to be your boss in this zoom room?

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Speaker 1: That's a good one. That's a tough question. It's tough

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Speaker 1: because there are several I would love, but I would

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Speaker 1: like Gandhi to be the boss. Hello, lady, I would

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Speaker 1: We'd get nothing done. I mean, Dan, I think Danielle

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Speaker 1: would make a good boss, thanks, you know I do.

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Speaker 1: I mean she's she's got two kids and a husband,

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Speaker 1: and she has to deal with us every day. I

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Speaker 1: see how that could like prepare her for management. I

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Speaker 1: could never work for Danielle. We'd never get shipped done,

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Speaker 1: would get fed and appropriate sitting in HR every day

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Speaker 1: ourselves as Danielle, I would work for them. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: when are we starting? Our cousin's like I already do.

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Speaker 1: Last question we gotten everybody answered. I think, all right, Scotty,

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Speaker 1: we'll we'll get through this one. Jesus, why don't you

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Speaker 1: do one? Who Scotty, who has the best attitude towards life?

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Speaker 1: Best attitude towards life? Um? I guess I think scary.

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Speaker 1: Scary is like always out and about doing stuff and

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Speaker 1: loving everything. And I think scary I can see why

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Speaker 1: you would say that, say that Scary, let's things roll

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Speaker 1: off of him. He doesn't stress. I think it's a

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Speaker 1: lack of common sense that keeps him. Like I'm totally

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Speaker 1: oblivious to it. I'm a loose ring. Also, it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: I feel like you're a lot like my husband, Sheldon,

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Speaker 1: because when something is really wrong that I should really

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Speaker 1: worry about, I can tell by how he reacts. And

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Speaker 1: that's how I am with Scary. Like, if Scary is

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Speaker 1: really worried about something, I know it's an issue. Like

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Speaker 1: if not, it's it's like I'm there. Okay, Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: COVID was no problem at all, exactly other than that,

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Speaker 1: you know, you don't need to wear masks anymore. Three.

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Speaker 1: By the way, he was saying that, I'm taking my

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Speaker 1: I take that back, then yourself a question. We're done.

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Speaker 1: I would like to point out one thing before we're done.

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Speaker 1: We have gone over the fifteen minute mark every single

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Speaker 1: day this week. You hear that justin we don't have

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Speaker 1: to do anything tomorrow. We don't do it all right,

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Speaker 1: who is the friendliest Danielle? There we go, that's easy.

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Speaker 1: Some days we ended on a happy note. Out of here, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're not doing a happy note. Bye, everyone, get out

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Speaker 1: of here. When someone says something stupid, stupid, The fifteen

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Speaker 1: Minute Morning Show