Speaker 1: Good break it down.
Speaker 2: If you ever have feelings that you just wons maybe
Speaker 2: a cat gotcha Cob and locking m brother Lady's folks,
Speaker 2: do you just follow an the spirit where it tell
Speaker 2: us the phn real stuff to the chill stuff and
Speaker 2: the m but swaying. Sometimes the best thing you can
Speaker 2: do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things.
Speaker 3: With Amy and Kat.
Speaker 1: Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and.
Speaker 4: I'm Cat and I'm starting with the feeling of the
Speaker 4: day because I'm feeling so relieve right now.
Speaker 1: Tell us more.
Speaker 4: And this has a lot to do with you. Has
Speaker 4: everything to do with you, really, because a weight has
Speaker 4: been lifted off of my chest and I think this
Speaker 4: there's probably something deeper going on that I probably should
Speaker 4: work through with my own therapist. But yesterday you sent
Speaker 4: me a text that said something to discuss with you
Speaker 4: tomorrow when you come over or maybe a dinner conversation.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, yes, now I know what you're talking
Speaker 1: about it and you don't like messages like.
Speaker 4: That, so you sent me that, and I think I
Speaker 4: was trying to be cool because you've done this before.
Speaker 4: I don't know if you've noticed this, but like you've
Speaker 4: done this before where you said, like I.
Speaker 3: Want to talk about X, and I'm like, oh, oh,
Speaker 3: let's talk about it. But it's in your head.
Speaker 4: It's probably not that big of a deal, but like,
Speaker 4: I don't know what you're going to say about it,
Speaker 4: so I need to know.
Speaker 3: So I was trying to practice like coolness and calmness
Speaker 3: and trust and all the things. So I just was
Speaker 3: like okay.
Speaker 4: And then later I think I said, so, what do
Speaker 4: you need to oh, because then later you sent me
Speaker 4: something else and I said, oh, is.
Speaker 3: That what you needed to discuss? And you were like no, no,
Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, well you're giving me anxiety?
Speaker 3: What is it? And you didn't answer me. You left
Speaker 3: me like you re let me hanging.
Speaker 1: And I was like, shoot, oh, I had a busy
Speaker 1: phone call dayesterday, which I'm sorry about that, but now
Speaker 1: I know why you're feeling. Is your feeling of the
Speaker 1: day is you're probably feeling relief, right, it's relieved.
Speaker 3: Do I not even say what my feeling?
Speaker 1: I don't know if you did. I only know because
Speaker 1: I read relieved, but I didn't know what you were
Speaker 1: relieved about. Okay, you said it. Now I was getting
Speaker 1: nervous that like what I had done to you because
Speaker 1: I was like, wait a second, what did I do?
Speaker 1: But now I know you're relieved because I finally told
Speaker 1: you what it was and you realize it's not that
Speaker 1: big of bod deal.
Speaker 4: Yes, but listen to the text that I sent you,
Speaker 4: and this is just like to me, it reminds me
Speaker 4: of my mom will send a text and be like
Speaker 4: call me, and I'm like, who in our family has died?
Speaker 3: Or who had a heart attack? Because why wouldn't you
Speaker 3: just text me something? Or why can't you call me?
Speaker 4: You know, it's like I can't sit there and then
Speaker 4: like go have a session with a client, like I
Speaker 4: need to know.
Speaker 1: So like share with this worst case scenario what you
Speaker 1: thought I needed to talk to you about.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm trying to find Oh you said I have
Speaker 4: something to run by you. Oh how a dinner combo
Speaker 4: tomorrow or tomorrow I will see you or tomorrow when
Speaker 4: I see you when we record. I don't know what
Speaker 4: it was, but I was thinking like it either could
Speaker 4: be like something really exciting or it's like we need
Speaker 4: to talk about something. But then when you said dinner,
Speaker 4: I was like, Okay, well, like, it can't be anything
Speaker 4: too personal or bad.
Speaker 1: Like I was thinking, you know, is a scenario, Oh
Speaker 1: is something not going well with the podcast?
Speaker 4: Yes, that was part my initial but then I was like, no, Catherine, like,
Speaker 4: it can't be that because that's not dinner Kravo.
Speaker 3: She would like have a conversation with you about that.
Speaker 1: You talk to yourself full name when you talk to yourself, Yes, Catherine, Catherine,
Speaker 1: Elizabeth Brittany.
Speaker 4: Yes, Yath and Mary Francis, Sally Brittany, Defauda dan Buren.
Speaker 4: So then I said, what are you wanting to discuss?
Speaker 4: This is giving me anxiety? And you just go on
Speaker 4: talking about whatever else?
Speaker 3: You didn't. You just didn't.
Speaker 4: I think you didn't probably see that because we were
Speaker 4: talking about something else at the same time, and I
Speaker 4: think you were on the phone and then and then
Speaker 4: you and then you're talking to me about something else
Speaker 4: and I go, okay, is this what you we have
Speaker 4: to talk about?
Speaker 1: And you just go no, lol, yeah, because I'm like,
Speaker 1: why would I make a big deal to talk about that,
Speaker 1: which I wasn't trying to make a big deal. First
Speaker 1: of all, Well.
Speaker 3: You didn't, I did, okay, thank you?
Speaker 1: I was, I do this a lot where I try
Speaker 1: to just make little notes so I don't forget. So
Speaker 1: I feel like if I tell you, we won't forget.
Speaker 1: But now I know if I tell you, I'm sending
Speaker 1: you into panic mode and you're going worst case scenario
Speaker 1: and you're like, I need to know, don't do this
Speaker 1: to me. So I'll work on that. But I'll even
Speaker 1: text myself or email myself little notes of like, you know,
Speaker 1: just so I don't forget. So that that was my
Speaker 1: way of saying, hey, I want to talk to you
Speaker 1: about something, but not right now, okay.
Speaker 4: But if your boyfriend sent you a text and was like,
Speaker 4: I know we're not dating, but like if your boyfriends
Speaker 4: sitting in a text was like I have something I
Speaker 4: need to talk to you about tomorrow.
Speaker 1: What do you My boyfriend's studis to you? What and
Speaker 1: my boyfriend's studis to you?
Speaker 4: Just like that's like the typical, like, hey, we need
Speaker 4: to talk, so maybe we need another thing for this,
Speaker 4: like hey, I need to talk to you about something NBD,
Speaker 4: no big deal, oh MBD, because in your head again,
Speaker 4: it wasn't a big deal. So when I keep asking
Speaker 4: you about it, you didn't respond.
Speaker 1: To be fair, what I ended up sharing with you
Speaker 1: was sort of a big deal, but not in like
Speaker 1: a big deal like you need to know about it,
Speaker 1: but it was ehind okay, everything was okay. It was special.
Speaker 1: I wanted to share with you a revelation I had
Speaker 1: in therapy and you, being a therapist. I thought you
Speaker 1: would appreciate it because my therapist helped me work through
Speaker 1: something and I'm like, I felt so much better after
Speaker 1: my session that I wouldn't let you know that. After
Speaker 1: clients have sessions with you, there's probably so many times
Speaker 1: where they're walking out of your office and they're like,
Speaker 1: I feel so much better. And I wanted to share
Speaker 1: with you what a joy it is to have a
Speaker 1: job like bad where you're like really helping people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, which was actually so sweet.
Speaker 1: That's but no, we're like, oh, I'm relieved. You were
Speaker 1: just wanting to sort of compliment me, and I do
Speaker 1: see how though I caused some That's why I thought
Speaker 1: it would be okay to talk about at dinner, because
Speaker 1: I would like it would have been if we were
Speaker 1: with you know, my boyfriend and your husband and we're
Speaker 1: out to eat and I were to say, like, you know, Kat,
Speaker 1: just thinking about your line of work and what you
Speaker 1: get to do every day. I just wanted you to
Speaker 1: know you're making an impact because I'm sure my therapist
Speaker 1: probably just hung up from our video call and was like, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: did my job today, but like no, really, she like
Speaker 1: did her job. She showed up and to her it
Speaker 1: was just she's doing what she's trained to do. But
Speaker 1: for me, it was big. So I wanted you to
Speaker 1: know that. So you are feeling relieved that we're not
Speaker 1: ending the podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or like anything bad.
Speaker 4: So instead of NBD, why don't we say ETO, Everything's okay.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna send them all, gonna be the ETO
Speaker 1: MVD all good. Everything is fine, But I like talk
Speaker 1: about this later but not like a big deal. Later
Speaker 1: is just sort of which is something that I want
Speaker 1: to talk to you about but I don't want to forget.
Speaker 1: But a hunt IP talk about right now.
Speaker 4: I think that this is probably more something I need
Speaker 4: to work on. It's like I'm jumping to like conclusions.
Speaker 4: Why am I still on edge? Yeah, Like I that
Speaker 4: there could have been so many scenarios my brain made up,
Speaker 4: but I made up this like worst case scenarios.
Speaker 1: I saw so many memes that were very fitting to
Speaker 1: my therapy appointment yesterday. I guess once one popped up
Speaker 1: in my algorithm like other videos were popping up of Like,
Speaker 1: you know, trust the process is a common saying. I
Speaker 1: feel like I been saying it a lot lately myself.
Speaker 1: Trust the process, Trust the process. And have you seen
Speaker 1: the memes where it's like does the process? No, we
Speaker 1: are trusting it, And to me it's so funny and yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like, hello, I am trusting you process.
Speaker 3: Why aren't you being so crazy?
Speaker 1: Are you aware?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Because you're acting like you don't know that we're over
Speaker 1: here trying to trust you.
Speaker 3: Did you talk about that in your therapy session the
Speaker 3: meme and talk about the meme?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: But when I left therapy, though, I felt like the
Speaker 1: process like heard me a little bit and I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: so you in the process are working. Process showed up,
Speaker 1: showed up with a little bit, and then I showed
Speaker 1: some trust. Something that my therapist did say to me,
Speaker 1: like point blank is like Amy, a lot of times
Speaker 1: you're talking to me and you you start off one
Speaker 1: way and sound very fearful, like I have a lot
Speaker 1: of fear, but then I work my way through it.
Speaker 1: And I eventually get to the proper part that has
Speaker 1: more wisdom than fear, and like there's a little clarity
Speaker 1: there and it shows like I'm capable. And she's like,
Speaker 1: do you realize you do that and you get there
Speaker 1: and I'm like, so, she's like, if you would just
Speaker 1: pause and take a beet, you probably could get there.
Speaker 4: You know, they call yeah, they call that, and maybe
Speaker 4: this is not exactly what you're talking about, but you've
Speaker 4: heard the phrase play the tape through.
Speaker 1: No I have not, Oh so tell me.
Speaker 4: So that's a lot of times, specifically in recovery, but
Speaker 4: like any type of process in therapy, we can use this.
Speaker 4: But if somebody is worried about something, or if somebody
Speaker 4: is wanting to do something that they don't know is
Speaker 4: like it might be a little risky, We'll say play
Speaker 4: the tape all the way through. And so if you
Speaker 4: play the for example, if it's somebody's working through recovery
Speaker 4: and they're like, I really want to go to this party,
Speaker 4: but I know there will be a lot of alcohol,
Speaker 4: they're so like, I don't know, like should I go,
Speaker 4: But like also like I really want to go because
Speaker 4: my friends are going to be there, and I don't
Speaker 4: want to miss out on something. We'll say like, well,
Speaker 4: let's play the tape through. What would what are the
Speaker 4: steps that are going to happen? So we'll play the
Speaker 4: tape through and probably get to the point where like,
Speaker 4: I'm not that I'm still really early in recovery. I
Speaker 4: haven't been tempted a lot. I'm gonna go to this party.
Speaker 4: People don't know that I'm in recovery, so they're gonna
Speaker 4: be off offering me alcohol. I'm gonna want to feel cool. Dad,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna drink. I'm gonna have to start on day
Speaker 4: one again kind of thing. Or who knows what's gonna happen,
Speaker 4: or for you, it's like, okay, you start here with
Speaker 4: all this fear. Once you play the tape all the
Speaker 4: way through, you're like, oh, I got this, Okay, how
Speaker 4: do I And that allows you to pause and then
Speaker 4: how do I play the tape through and then make
Speaker 4: a decision.
Speaker 3: With all the information?
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, okay, Catherine, Yes, next time
Speaker 1: you get a text message from somebody that's like, hey,
Speaker 1: I need to talk to you about something, maybe you
Speaker 1: could play the tape through.
Speaker 3: Are you sitting there just thinking and waiting to see me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, hm, cat should play the tape through.
Speaker 3: I should play the tape here?
Speaker 1: Should you see?
Speaker 4: That is why therapist needs to go to therapy, because like,
Speaker 4: we have our own stuff and it's easy to dish
Speaker 4: it out, but sometimes we need to be able to
Speaker 4: sit and hear it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I also kept wanting to go like big
Speaker 1: picture though too. I understand like playing the tape through
Speaker 1: just for the moment, but like I want to play
Speaker 1: the tape through and it be accurate, like I want
Speaker 1: to know what's happening. And then she brought me back
Speaker 1: to like, let's stop focusing on what the next six
Speaker 1: months look like and let's focus on what the next
Speaker 1: day looks like. Like break it down into bite sized pieces.
Speaker 1: So that's a little nugget for if you're feeling like
Speaker 1: you're trying to trust the process, but you're like does
Speaker 1: the process know? Then start to take it down to
Speaker 1: bite size, which makes me think of the proverb or question.
Speaker 1: I think it's a proverb. Is it a proverb?
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've wrout that.
Speaker 1: How do you mean an elephant one by a time?
Speaker 1: That's right, because an elephant as a whole is very overwhelming,
Speaker 1: but if you break it down and eat it one
Speaker 1: bit at a time, you'll get there.
Speaker 3: Eventually that's the next right thing.
Speaker 1: The next right thing. So like, what's the next right
Speaker 1: thing I can do today or this minute? Like depending
Speaker 1: on how micro you need to go right, yeah, because
Speaker 1: it might be you could look at it it's a
Speaker 1: week if you want, because maybe you've got overwhelmed by
Speaker 1: the month of the year. So for you, maybe you
Speaker 1: go down to the week, but some people might need
Speaker 1: to go down to like the minute.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was gonna say hour, but minute also works.
Speaker 1: And that's okay. Some tips that she walked me through
Speaker 1: and like getting there were like sometimes even just giving
Speaker 1: yourself little task to do to show you that you
Speaker 1: can do it, Like what's something you've been putting off?
Speaker 1: Because there is one thing that I discussed in therapy
Speaker 1: that I have been putting off and she was challenging
Speaker 1: like why, And then she was like, could you practice
Speaker 1: doing little things that you're putting off, like that could
Speaker 1: build up to that that you're exercising that muscle, because
Speaker 1: like every time you read, you're giving your brain a
Speaker 1: little gift. Well, every time you do a little thing
Speaker 1: that you've been putting off. You're giving your brain a
Speaker 1: gift that makes the bigger thing.
Speaker 3: Well, it also teaches you that you can do things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so like, is there an email you've been putting
Speaker 1: off and it's really not that big of a deal, Like,
Speaker 1: but you know you need to send the email. Sit
Speaker 1: down and get out your computer and make yourself send
Speaker 1: that email. And then you're like, all right, I sent
Speaker 1: an eave sent an email, yeah or whatever that next, right,
Speaker 1: story you can do. So she was showing me and
Speaker 1: then she also brought up a little bit of stuff
Speaker 1: you've talked about before about the data and the story,
Speaker 1: like we've got the facts and we've got the stories.
Speaker 1: And she's like, also, what I want you to notice
Speaker 1: when you're doing my When I was playing the tape
Speaker 1: back and I was getting there, She's like, you're showing
Speaker 1: you're capable. And then also, look at your life. You
Speaker 1: have this fear about something. Sure it's coming up from
Speaker 1: childhood or this and that, but you look at you
Speaker 1: look at your life where you are, you pay bills like,
Speaker 1: you have a drop, like you have children, you have
Speaker 1: a home, you have a car, Like you're capable. I
Speaker 1: am capable. Yeah, like these things that like just freak
Speaker 1: me out. And she's like, so even when I got
Speaker 1: home from work today we were going to record, I
Speaker 1: was doing the Bobby Bone show at studio and I
Speaker 1: got home for today and I was pulling it through
Speaker 1: my house and I was like, this is my house,
Speaker 1: Like I bought this, and I was like, granted, it
Speaker 1: took a real litter and he knew what she was
Speaker 1: doing and you know.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you and you decorated it.
Speaker 1: And the lone people that knew She's like, but you
Speaker 1: need And then that showed me like, thank you Lord
Speaker 1: for the experts along the way that helped guide me,
Speaker 1: like I didn't have to do it alone, but yeah,
Speaker 1: also I did it. Yeah, And I need to remember
Speaker 1: that because I guess my big story that pops up
Speaker 1: a lot no matter what area is that I'm not capable.
Speaker 1: So and I feel like there's times where I've overcome
Speaker 1: it and then it will rear it's ugly little hey.
Speaker 4: Well, I think also that what's coming up for me
Speaker 4: is when it comes to being capable, we can get
Speaker 4: lost in the all or nothing of that. Because how
Speaker 4: you were saying, like this is my house, I bought
Speaker 4: this house and they're like, well I needed a realtor.
Speaker 3: Well yeah, but doesn't mean you weren't capable.
Speaker 4: And I think I do this too, where I'm like,
Speaker 4: I it can be really hard on myself for not
Speaker 4: knowing how to do something and then therefore putting it
Speaker 4: off because it's overwhelming or needing extra help with something.
Speaker 4: And you know, I love to do things on my own, like,
Speaker 4: no matter what it is, whether it's a home project
Speaker 4: or whatever.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I can do that. My nails.
Speaker 4: I can't do that, though, but like, I love being
Speaker 4: able to do something on my own.
Speaker 3: And something that I will always remember is when.
Speaker 4: I started having my father in law do my taxes
Speaker 4: because he's a tax accountant, which was a risk because
Speaker 4: we weren't married. And I was like, I'll let this
Speaker 4: guy see my finances. I got really embarrassed because he
Speaker 4: was asking me questions and I was like, I don't
Speaker 4: know what you're asking me. And I used to keep
Speaker 4: track of all my finances for work on a like
Speaker 4: a word doc.
Speaker 1: Well that's okay, I think you're gonna say a.
Speaker 4: Napkin no on like a word doc. So I would
Speaker 4: just like always write everything out and so like I
Speaker 4: sent that to him and he was like, I can
Speaker 4: can't use this.
Speaker 3: Don't you have Excel? And I was like, I don't
Speaker 3: really know how to use that.
Speaker 4: So Patrick helped me put it all in Excel because
Speaker 4: word docs you can't like do control all the things
Speaker 4: and whatever it has. So I sent it to a
Speaker 4: Excel and I was like, I'm sorry, like I don't
Speaker 4: know anything about taxes, and he goes, that's okay, I
Speaker 4: don't know anything about being a therapist. That's why you're
Speaker 4: a therapist. And I'm a tax accountant. And I was like,
Speaker 4: thank you, Like that doesn't mean I'm not capable. It's
Speaker 4: that to do my taxes, I am capable, but I
Speaker 4: need an expert to help me with that, right, I
Speaker 4: don't have to do everything.
Speaker 3: On my own. I don't have you all knowing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. That's what I mean too about
Speaker 1: the the realtor part is like I thank you for
Speaker 1: people that came in, and also that I could trust
Speaker 1: some people that work with realtors or lenders that screw
Speaker 1: them over. So I was able to do it and
Speaker 1: I was able to find people to trust. And something
Speaker 1: else that fits in the vein of like, okay, one
Speaker 1: minute at a time, one hour at a time, one
Speaker 1: day at a time. Is sometimes you may need to
Speaker 1: borrow hope from someone else, and like simply knowing that
Speaker 1: your friends believe in you, because like I know, if
Speaker 1: I were to call you or a cryocat or whoever
Speaker 1: like and have a conversation, you would encourage me and
Speaker 1: motivate me. And so I might if I don't have
Speaker 1: that hope for myself in the moment, I can maybe
Speaker 1: borrow it from you or hear one of your stories
Speaker 1: and then be inspired by that story. And so sometimes
Speaker 1: we might need to borrow the hope to get us
Speaker 1: to the next day.
Speaker 4: You want to know something that's kind of depressing, but
Speaker 4: like a similar vein, it was very helpful to me,
Speaker 4: So it's not bad depressing. When I went through a
Speaker 4: really bad breakup, and if you've been through a really
Speaker 4: bad breakup, it feels like you physically feel sick, Like
Speaker 4: the pain is not just emotional, it is like physical.
Speaker 4: And in my head, it was the first one I
Speaker 4: had ever gone through, so in my head, I was like,
Speaker 4: how am I ever going to not feel this again?
Speaker 3: Like I don't know how to.
Speaker 4: Get out of this, And what I did is I
Speaker 4: looked for people who like had gone through breakups and
Speaker 4: then I was like, where are they now? And like
Speaker 4: there was one specific there was like a song I
Speaker 4: think it was a Johnny Swim song or something like that,
Speaker 4: and it was like so sad and so depressing. Then
Speaker 4: I was like, they're married and they have children and
Speaker 4: they're happy, and so that hope was like, Okay, I
Speaker 4: know people can do this. People don't stay in this forever.
Speaker 4: And it sounds so silly saying it now because I'm like,
Speaker 4: it feels like dull people. Heartbreak doesn't kill people technically, yeah,
Speaker 4: but you like depression pretty yeah, yeah. And so I
Speaker 4: used that to like I looked for the depressing story
Speaker 4: to then see how they got out of it, and
Speaker 4: if they didn't, moment.
Speaker 1: Took you borrowed their story, borrowed their story, Yeah, to
Speaker 1: drink you up and get you moving and get you
Speaker 1: out there and get on the apps. Yeah, download hinge.
Speaker 1: I think about it. Without Hinge, you would not have
Speaker 1: met your husband.
Speaker 3: Technically, well that's not true. You would have met your boyfriend. Yeah,
Speaker 3: well okay, what I sorry?
Speaker 1: But you know I had that other guy I dated
Speaker 1: from Hinge, I wouldn't have had that experience.
Speaker 3: And that brought us a lot of I did bring.
Speaker 1: Us a lot of joy.
Speaker 2: It was cool.
Speaker 4: I still run into it and like he maybe, like
Speaker 4: you brought him to my rehearsal dinner, Like who knows,
Speaker 4: if he wasn't there, maybe something else would have happened,
Speaker 4: and we don't know if like it would have been
Speaker 4: the same.
Speaker 1: You know, do you remember the speech I gave at
Speaker 1: your rehearsal dinner was so pretty perfect because we all
Speaker 1: met on Hinge, and so I was like, so it
Speaker 1: was only appropriate that I bring a guy I met
Speaker 1: on Hinge and this is our second date and our
Speaker 1: first date was only like a one an hour drink thing,
Speaker 1: like we met for a cocktail for one hour.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I really wanted you to bring him. Yeah
Speaker 4: you did also like what a good sport, And I
Speaker 4: thought that, Yeah.
Speaker 1: I thought this is gonna be so fun. I'm gon
Speaker 1: end up marrying the guy that I brought to cats.
Speaker 3: And then I can hear that speech at year.
Speaker 1: Yeah I know, I really I mean not that I
Speaker 1: really thought we're gonna get married, but you know what,
Speaker 1: and then I had taken a trip with him, Well,
Speaker 1: we went to the US Open. Yeah, so anyway, not
Speaker 1: that this any of this matters. Like I don't even
Speaker 1: know why we're going down this memory lane. But we
Speaker 1: were with another couple and they were taking pictures and
Speaker 1: like we weren't like together together. So but also I
Speaker 1: was like, do we take a picture? And then so
Speaker 1: we took pictures of them, and then I remember I
Speaker 1: looked at him. I was like, should take a pic?
Speaker 1: Like just in case, like just in case we end
Speaker 1: up together together? Yes, so I have a picture of
Speaker 1: us like on that rock, you know the rock in
Speaker 1: New York. We did. We have a picture together, you
Speaker 1: know the rock.
Speaker 4: But like, what do you think the message is that
Speaker 4: he got when you're like just in case?
Speaker 1: Oh, come on, do you think he was thinking that deep?
Speaker 3: No, you're right.
Speaker 1: He probably was like, sure, I'll take you just in case,
Speaker 1: what like just in case we die. I don't know
Speaker 1: what he was thinking, and I don't know why I
Speaker 1: just give him that accent, but like I just like,
Speaker 1: should we take a pic, you know, just in case?
Speaker 1: And then I was like, here's my camera and so
Speaker 1: now somewhere in my camera roll, I have a just
Speaker 1: in case.
Speaker 3: Pick because don't get rid of it.
Speaker 1: If we ended up together, then like, yeah, we would
Speaker 1: have wanted to pick on that rock.
Speaker 4: Or like what if he becomes like super famous, then
Speaker 4: you can be like we went to New York together once.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I have that just in case super famous
Speaker 1: for what.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I know people got famous for anything. Now, yeah, he
Speaker 1: could get a TikTok. I don't even he has social media.
Speaker 1: Let's be honest. He was using Facebook, remember, yes, I
Speaker 1: was like, not that that's bad any of our listeners
Speaker 1: that do it at all, because like Facebook's a thing,
Speaker 1: but like that was his primary upload.
Speaker 3: I have an update on what.
Speaker 4: I don't want to change the subject, but on the
Speaker 4: go for it. Okay, Facebook made me remember it. Speaking
Speaker 4: of doing one task at a time, Yesterday, I was
Speaker 4: on Facebook Marketplace because I'm looking for a bench for
Speaker 4: my entryway. So if you have, if you see anything,
Speaker 4: let me know. And I'm trying to Patina, so I'm
Speaker 4: trying to get something used.
Speaker 1: And you know the bench in my injury way. You
Speaker 1: don't the cute, it's cute, I probably do well. I
Speaker 1: bought it on Facebook market Place.
Speaker 3: Really, okay, I need to look at it after.
Speaker 1: I need to never notice anything. I'm like, hey, do
Speaker 1: you notice that? And you're like what, Sorry, You're just kidding.
Speaker 3: I'm not observant.
Speaker 4: So I got some motivation out of I don't know where,
Speaker 4: because I went and checked to see if I made
Speaker 4: it into the Facebook group yet my subdivision Facebook.
Speaker 3: Group, and I haven't. So I messaged the board of
Speaker 3: directors on Facebook.
Speaker 1: Okay, so this is the next right step. Okay.
Speaker 4: I don't know if they use that group anymore because
Speaker 4: the last post was from twenty twenty four, but it
Speaker 4: was like the next thing for me to be able
Speaker 4: to do. If they don't answer, then I'm going to
Speaker 4: look at who's on the board of Directors and directly
Speaker 4: message them.
Speaker 3: But here's the thing.
Speaker 4: I don't look at my Facebook messages or I think
Speaker 4: they're spam you know.
Speaker 3: So I'm fraid they're not gonna Well.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to be intentional about checking your messages
Speaker 1: if you really want to be in this group.
Speaker 4: No, I'm saying, if they get a message from me,
Speaker 4: are they even going I'm looking to see if they
Speaker 4: answered me, are they even going to open it? You know?
Speaker 1: Oh? Well, I feel like if someone's when they're monitoring
Speaker 1: a group like that.
Speaker 3: They haven't answered.
Speaker 4: I said, Hi, I've been trying to join the neighborhood
Speaker 4: Facebook group since September when we moved in.
Speaker 3: Can someone help me out? Smiley face. That's good.
Speaker 1: You talk to any of your neighbors that are part
Speaker 1: of it.
Speaker 4: Yes, My one neighbor that I knew before I moved in,
Speaker 4: her she doesn't have Facebook, but her husband dies and
Speaker 4: she said keeps saying I need to tell my husband
Speaker 4: to send them a.
Speaker 3: Message, but I don't want to. I don't want to
Speaker 3: make a big deal about it because like, yeah, be cool.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to be cool. But I've just brought it
Speaker 3: up on this podcast for times.
Speaker 1: Just you're moving forward, because the next thing after borrowing
Speaker 1: someone else's story, borrow your neighbors. Yeah, borrow hope that
Speaker 1: your neighbors in the group. Yeah, but like you're gonna
Speaker 1: still move forward without clarity. You have no idea if
Speaker 1: they're going to accept you, But you just keep moving forward.
Speaker 1: Because that's another thing that my therapist has had to
Speaker 1: drill into me, is that a lot of times I
Speaker 1: want to know what's happening, and I've had to surrender
Speaker 1: that control. But I you have to move forward to
Speaker 1: the next right thing, the next right step, without full
Speaker 1: clarity of what's ahead, what's in they.
Speaker 4: Been.
Speaker 1: My ex husband and I had a good conversation today
Speaker 1: that is a complete one eighty from where I was
Speaker 1: yesterday with something we have going on, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what look at us? Like I just kept moving forward
Speaker 1: yesterday doing the next right thing, and then the next
Speaker 1: right thing. Things just started to I don't know, I'm
Speaker 1: looking at it through a different filter, Like I put
Speaker 1: on a different set of glasses, because instead of my
Speaker 1: fear goggles, instead of my fear goggles, I put on
Speaker 1: my like I want to just do the next right
Speaker 1: thing and approach this with confidence and wisdom, so like,
Speaker 1: take the facts right. So then I put on those
Speaker 1: there's fear goggles, And what do I want to call them?
Speaker 4: I have an idea what I have human Well, you've
Speaker 4: said like I'm open to creative solutions. I feel like, yeah,
Speaker 4: this is a you've you came up with a creative solution.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. That's when my Gaby Bernstein days, which
Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of people say that, but a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago I was listening to a lot
Speaker 1: of her stuff and that was Oh, I did my
Speaker 1: sister and I did her twenty one day not meditate, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe meditation challenge. I think it was, yeah, meditation, but
Speaker 1: manifestation maybe you know, I'll try it. Uh So I
Speaker 1: forgot about that and that was such a good thank
Speaker 1: you for reminding me of that. Oh good little nugget there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so your creative solution goggles?
Speaker 1: Yes? Is that a cute enough name for you? Said,
Speaker 1: my creative solution cs I can either put on my
Speaker 1: CSGS or my FG's Yeah, girl, yeah girl. You know
Speaker 1: we like an acronym. So with my CSGS. Today, well,
Speaker 1: I feel so much better and it's like we were
Speaker 1: able to work together as a team. And this has
Speaker 1: nothing to do with me and Ben by the way.
Speaker 1: It's something we're having to work on together, but it's
Speaker 1: not our relationship. And I'm like, look at us, and
Speaker 1: this feels so much better and I feel good about it.
Speaker 1: But I think if I was still wrapped up in
Speaker 1: the fear and not seeing the next right thing and
Speaker 1: also seeing good things in front of me, Like also
Speaker 1: yesterday I opened up my email and I looked at
Speaker 1: something with a different perspective where I could have been
Speaker 1: annoyed by it, but instead I said, this is a
Speaker 1: gift from the Lord. Thank you Lord for this opportunity,
Speaker 1: because it's almost like, you know the cute story about
Speaker 1: the guy praying in the flood for the Lord to
Speaker 1: rescue him and then he ends up dying, and I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm paraphrasing it just to get to the point. But
Speaker 1: he gets the pearly gates and he's like, what's up?
Speaker 1: Like I was praying to get saved. And Peter's like, hey, idiot,
Speaker 1: like we sent you a boat, in a helicopter and
Speaker 1: a but you kept waving it off, being like no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: the Lord's gonna save me. And it's like, you know
Speaker 1: you got to have on the the LG's what's that
Speaker 1: the Lord goggle? Oh, solutions. I'm open to creative solutions.
Speaker 4: The Lord gave you the creative solution goggles. Yeah, like
Speaker 4: you accepted them. And this kind of reminds me of
Speaker 4: what we learned about from Courtney cook shout out that
Speaker 4: her positive attitude probably makes that food taste better, just
Speaker 4: like you having a different outlook allows you to see
Speaker 4: more opportunities.
Speaker 1: Right, We did google that to fact check her taste buds,
Speaker 1: because that is something that, yeah, is very good theory
Speaker 1: of yours because I think, to quote you exactly, you're like,
Speaker 1: she could eat gravel and be like, hmmm, crunchy.
Speaker 3: To put manaise on it, but then she would eat it.
Speaker 1: She spirt it with mayonnaise. M yummy. Because yeah, she
Speaker 1: overall has a very positive demeanor and I love that,
Speaker 1: and I'm not always going to be that way, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I wonder if we're in a good mood or a
Speaker 1: bad mood, like it affecting our taste greats.
Speaker 3: Speaking of have you seen the videos?
Speaker 4: Won't do a whole podcast on her, but have you
Speaker 4: seen the videos of her eating, like showing you her
Speaker 4: pregnancy cravings.
Speaker 1: I only saw one that she did with her daughter, like,
Speaker 1: which I thought was really cute because she had her
Speaker 1: daughter and she was like, Hey, this is what I
Speaker 1: was craving when you were in my belly.
Speaker 3: Do you remember what it was?
Speaker 1: Something like popcorn dipped in something else, dipped in something else.
Speaker 4: Oh, that doesn't sound too bad. This one was like
Speaker 4: cottage cheese and pork rimes. Oh, and some kind of sauce.
Speaker 4: Maybe it was mayonnaise, Like you must have been in
Speaker 4: a really good you were having the pregnancy glow when
Speaker 4: you ate that?
Speaker 3: Because what anyway, Yeah, LG's.
Speaker 4: Cgg csgg fgese. You know what we need is we
Speaker 4: need a feeling things dictionary that has all our acronyms. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 4: that's the one that I can remember.
Speaker 1: This is pretty much the only one. I even though
Speaker 1: we just came up with wtw oh yeah, wait to worry.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and T B nope, n B D.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's not hard I know, but we're gonna use
Speaker 1: it like s I B we literally made.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we made that up. We'll put an asterisk on
Speaker 3: ones that we didn't trademark T A s A P.
Speaker 1: BRP I K y k n k oh. I don't
Speaker 1: even know that one, if you know, you know?
Speaker 4: I okay, why I know we should Well, no, we shouldn't.
Speaker 4: I don't know how interesting would be if we went
Speaker 4: through a list of all the like cool acronyms and
Speaker 4: if we knew what they were, because like, how often
Speaker 4: are you googling an acronym when your kids text you something?
Speaker 1: Thankfully they don't really use tons of like.
Speaker 3: Do you know t d l R t l d R.
Speaker 1: T l d R No, I'm too.
Speaker 4: Long didn't read, so people will like, no, no, no,
Speaker 4: it's not no, no, no, no, no, it's not bad.
Speaker 3: It's actually helpful.
Speaker 4: Like if somebody I think, I don't know, if somebody
Speaker 4: writes a really long post at the end, they'll be
Speaker 4: like t L D R and then they'll just give
Speaker 4: like the short version of it. Oh, do you know
Speaker 4: what f WW is? F ww fwww. No, No, think
Speaker 4: it's just f WW for what it's worth?
Speaker 1: For what? What about the I? It's f I.
Speaker 3: Don't think they put that in there.
Speaker 1: F W i W.
Speaker 3: Maybe maybe some people use that, some people don't.
Speaker 1: Well, they need to keep it straight if they're gonna
Speaker 1: do real acronyms. I need every letter because there's no
Speaker 1: way I'm going to figure it out how our.
Speaker 4: Dictionary will keep the eye. Anyway, just a little in
Speaker 4: case you didn't know, we.
Speaker 1: Have an email from I believe you say it's Zoe Zoe.
Speaker 3: How is it Zoe?
Speaker 1: It's Zoe z O?
Speaker 4: I E.
Speaker 3: Zoe? Wow? And why language would that be?
Speaker 2: Zo?
Speaker 3: Zoe?
Speaker 1: Zoe Zoe Zoe. Hi, Amy and kat I just finished
Speaker 1: listening to your episode about what you're watching and reading,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to tell you that one. I love
Speaker 1: Emily Henry books, so you made a good choice. If
Speaker 1: you end up liking her books, I suggest you check
Speaker 1: out Alie Hazelwood, Lucy Score, and Laura Gilmour. I think
Speaker 1: you'll love her Dream Harbor series. These are a few
Speaker 1: of my favorites. Two you said in your four books,
Speaker 1: said that one of them is called You and Me
Speaker 1: on Vacation. I just wanted to let you know that
Speaker 1: that's actually the same book as people would meet on vacation.
Speaker 1: They just changed the name for publishing in different countries.
Speaker 1: So if you don't want to read it, since you've
Speaker 1: already seen the movie, you can skip that one enjoy
Speaker 1: your reading. And I was like, oh, dang, I thought
Speaker 1: it was going to be a sequel or even a
Speaker 1: prequel or something. I don't know.
Speaker 3: You really only got three books.
Speaker 1: I only got three books. Well, I mean I can
Speaker 1: give the fourth away to somebody else that maybe wants
Speaker 1: to read.
Speaker 3: It's nice.
Speaker 1: And then she was like, depending on which country it's for.
Speaker 1: I'm like, did I order them in English?
Speaker 4: Wait? Yeah, because why would they change the English name
Speaker 4: on the English book if they changed the other.
Speaker 1: I don't know. But then you know, you were like Hey,
Speaker 1: what's the link that you got the four pack on?
Speaker 1: And then I went to it and it was like
Speaker 1: no longer unavailable, no longer available, like I bought the
Speaker 1: last four pack.
Speaker 3: I guess, So what link did you give me?
Speaker 1: I gave you the link, but there's you can't buy
Speaker 1: anything from it.
Speaker 3: Oh I linked that in our news.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: I realized that after I was like, oh my gosh, yeah,
Speaker 1: no I didn't. It's nothing I noticed right away, but
Speaker 1: then I noticed like, oh, you can't even buy it,
Speaker 1: like I must have bought the last one, which then
Speaker 1: makes you think like did I really get books?
Speaker 3: Have they come yet?
Speaker 1: Or they're like, finally someone bought that four pack?
Speaker 3: Wait? Has it come here?
Speaker 1: Yeah, they've come, but they're still wrapped in their plastic
Speaker 1: because I haven't opened them yet because I'm reading The Nightingale.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, pretty much done with that. And then once
Speaker 1: I finished The Nightingale, which is so good, I'm moving
Speaker 1: on to my other three books from Emily Henry and
Speaker 1: then thanks to Zoe here, I gotta check out Ali,
Speaker 1: Lucy and Laurie h Okay.
Speaker 4: So, also, I wonder if that sold out right after
Speaker 4: the movie came out, because the people were probably buying it.
Speaker 1: Oh good point, not because I certainly you scammed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like you got scammed for the weed of bis.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, can we talk about that?
Speaker 1: Sure?
Speaker 3: So somebody, can I tell you?
Speaker 1: I Can I tell you something right now?
Speaker 3: NBD?
Speaker 1: Now can I tell it to you right now? So
Speaker 1: you don't have something? And it's really not that big deal,
Speaker 1: but like I don't I know what you're going to say.
Speaker 3: I know what you're going to say.
Speaker 4: They don't like when I asked for permission to talk
Speaker 4: about things because you want it to feel like I
Speaker 4: can talk about whatever I want.
Speaker 3: That right there was more like girl, can we talk
Speaker 3: about that? Like girl talk?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 1: Well, I thought we were going back to our old ways,
Speaker 1: and like during the fifth thing, when it was like
Speaker 1: my podcast and then you would be coming on as
Speaker 1: a guest, sometimes you'd be like, ooh, can we talk
Speaker 1: about this? But then when we joined forces and became
Speaker 1: one podcast together, sometimes you would still ask that, and
Speaker 1: I'll be like, stop, like you, it's just as much
Speaker 1: yours as it is mine, So take it wherever you want. Girl.
Speaker 1: If you want to talk about weed a bic, go
Speaker 1: for it.
Speaker 4: But also, here's my thought too, because I do listen
Speaker 4: to podcasts that have like multiple co hosts, and something
Speaker 4: that does grind my gears is when a host is
Speaker 4: telling a story and then the other hosts like hi,
Speaker 4: or even when they're just interviewing, and when somebody hijack
Speaker 4: jack something and then like you lose track of where
Speaker 4: you're going because I interrupt you and I go over
Speaker 4: on a tangent.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 4: So sometimes when I ask for permission, it's because like
Speaker 4: I don't I have ADHD and I can't just let
Speaker 4: you finish, and I want to make sure I'm not
Speaker 4: derailing you because you might have you might be going
Speaker 4: somewhere you know.
Speaker 1: Oh that makes sense, so you're being considerate.
Speaker 3: And yeah, I'm always like they might allowed to talk.
Speaker 1: Then my gears were grinding, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: got to tell you something right now, stop okay.
Speaker 4: But that was more like we have to talk about this, like, girl,
Speaker 4: can we talk about that? Because we posted that weied
Speaker 4: debix video and we said like I think in the
Speaker 4: video you were like, yeah, you paid fourteen ninety nine
Speaker 4: for this, which I did, and then somebody commented that
Speaker 4: you can buy it for forty nine at al.
Speaker 3: Aldi Aldi, how do you say it?
Speaker 4: Aldi? And then somebody else said they got it for
Speaker 4: five dollars on Amazon, So I went.
Speaker 3: And looked, and I checked.
Speaker 4: I did pay fourteen ninety nine more than it, so
Speaker 4: fifteen something with tex in that same link, same exact link.
Speaker 4: Then was like on sale for five forty seven. I
Speaker 4: paid three times as much. And then there's this fancy
Speaker 4: button that Amazon has now where you can like click
Speaker 4: it and a little chatbot will come up and explain
Speaker 4: to you the price history. And it said that we
Speaker 4: debix can be anywhere from like fifteen dollars to five
Speaker 4: dollars average of for this it's the same box. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: isn't that weird? And I imagine it's the demand. So
Speaker 4: I must have bought it at a hot time, hot.
Speaker 1: Like you must have bought it when Oh, my boyfriend's calling.
Speaker 1: Oh hey, do you want to answer it?
Speaker 3: No, I'm talking about Weeda bes. No, you can answer it.
Speaker 1: No, what am I going to say?
Speaker 3: Like somebody says funny things?
Speaker 1: Oh? I just rejected him.
Speaker 3: I wish my husband would call me. He's not at work.
Speaker 1: Y'all don't call each other at work though, that's the thing. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's like the there are there's almost like there's two
Speaker 1: types of people in the world, those that like talk
Speaker 1: while they're at work and those that just don't. And
Speaker 1: Alex and I will call each other multiple times during
Speaker 1: the work day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, does he not like at an office?
Speaker 4: He has an office? Does he go to office? Where
Speaker 4: is he like calling you when he's on his way somewhere?
Speaker 1: He has a stand up desk because sometimes I FaceTime
Speaker 1: and he's standing up.
Speaker 4: And he can talk to you on the phone while
Speaker 4: he's at work, and nobody's like, why aren't you working?
Speaker 1: He's the boss?
Speaker 3: Okay? Is true? That's true. I think that's a difference.
Speaker 1: I mean there's other so the way his company works, like,
Speaker 1: yes he's CEO, but there are other there's a company
Speaker 1: that owns their company and that so technically that guy's
Speaker 1: in the building too, so technically he answers to those guys.
Speaker 1: But like in his office, he's I mean, but okay.
Speaker 3: I know that we know this.
Speaker 4: When you just said that your boyfriend is the CEO, Like,
Speaker 4: do you get to go to the company Christmas party
Speaker 4: and be like I'm with the CEO?
Speaker 1: No? His company Christmas party was in New York and
Speaker 1: I was like, well, oh am I going to go
Speaker 1: because I would love to go to New York. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, it was on a weeknight and I
Speaker 1: have work, so I couldn't go anyway. But he's like, also,
Speaker 1: it's not plus one. So I was like, what, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what kind of Christmas party is that? That's what I said, lame.
Speaker 3: Oh, well, I guest Patrick's isn't either.
Speaker 1: They just do it like it's like after work and
Speaker 1: everybody gets together and it's whole thing. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: but I mean, you flew from Nashville to go to
Speaker 1: this party.
Speaker 4: Wait, that's actually Patrick's companies too, like they have I
Speaker 4: think obviously in New York are somewhere where people will
Speaker 4: all come down for the party and it's just like
Speaker 4: one night after work and we're not invited. But for
Speaker 4: some reason, I'm like, if you're the CEO, then you
Speaker 4: can bring your whoever you want.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but then at that party in New York, he's
Speaker 1: but it's almost like he's head of some parts. But
Speaker 1: then when he's there, there's people that are bigger fish.
Speaker 3: Okay, you know it's still cool. You're that's cool. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's really cool. So that's why he can call you
Speaker 3: during the day.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 4: So, so I've actually tested the waters because I'm like,
Speaker 4: I want to talk to him.
Speaker 3: I would.
Speaker 4: I don't like going ten hours without talking to my husband.
Speaker 4: And so I've called him before and he's just like,
Speaker 4: what do you need something like It's like he's he
Speaker 4: thinks that there's like a obviously there's an emergency, so
Speaker 4: why she's calling me?
Speaker 3: So I don't want to scare him anymore?
Speaker 1: Right, So, yeah, he's starting to be like who died?
Speaker 3: Literally, I'm doing to him what I don't want people
Speaker 3: to do it. But also, now this has actually been
Speaker 3: really tough for us.
Speaker 4: It's been tough for me. I don't think it's been
Speaker 4: tough for him. So his office is getting in a
Speaker 4: new office. So for the next couple of weeks he's
Speaker 4: working from home, and for the past couple of weeks, so.
Speaker 3: I'm home and he's home, but I can't talk to
Speaker 3: him because he's working. Because he's working.
Speaker 4: One time I tried to give him a glass of
Speaker 4: water and I walked in on a call, and I
Speaker 4: think I embarrassed him.
Speaker 3: You're right, Wait a second, who cares?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: Did they see?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 3: I was in my robe and like had like my
Speaker 3: retainer in and.
Speaker 1: Like I had like.
Speaker 3: Yeah on you okay, but I opened the door.
Speaker 4: I cracked the door and I was like hi, and
Speaker 4: he was he like threw his like headphones off.
Speaker 3: He was like I'm on a call.
Speaker 4: Like I startled him. I think he was like, I
Speaker 4: don't want you to interrupt me. So we're gonna have
Speaker 4: to figure out a code of like when can I
Speaker 4: we need a like a light on the door, like
Speaker 4: we know when somebody's recording.
Speaker 1: Like on air. Yeah, yes, like I'm on a call,
Speaker 1: on a call, yeah.
Speaker 4: Yes, speaking of did you you used to have like
Speaker 4: the beads hanging.
Speaker 3: Down from your door when you're worse? Oh yeah? Did
Speaker 3: you ever have a doorbell on your room?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: I had that too. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Did your dad install a doorbell? Well it was like,
Speaker 1: I mean he's a builder, so like that would.
Speaker 4: Be really my dad didn't saw a doorbell. But you
Speaker 4: do know he took my door off the hinges.
Speaker 3: I do you know that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: No, it was like you know those like closet lights
Speaker 4: that like just stick to the wall. Yeah, it was
Speaker 4: like that vibe but it made a sound cute. Yeah, yeah, anyway,
Speaker 4: that just needed to come out of my breath.
Speaker 3: Yeah, should we get back to that.
Speaker 1: It could be something cute. No, I mean I just
Speaker 1: had the email and I was thankful for that, and
Speaker 1: then that took us on the weed to bix and
Speaker 1: then you're but honestly, once I moved on to the email,
Speaker 1: like I was done with my therapy revelations from yesterday
Speaker 1: when because I was like, does the process even know
Speaker 1: we're trusting it? And now I know it doesn't. It doesn't,
Speaker 1: It doesn't.
Speaker 3: Doesn't need, it doesn't need exactly.
Speaker 1: You still have to trust the process. You have to
Speaker 1: do the next right thing. What's the next teeny tiny step.
Speaker 1: You have to borrow hope wherever you can get it.
Speaker 1: And then you don't have to know the full picture.
Speaker 1: You have to move forward without clarity.
Speaker 3: I think that's the hardest one.
Speaker 1: Those are the three things of trusting the process or
Speaker 1: like trusting that you can trust the process. But you
Speaker 1: can't just like trust the process.
Speaker 3: You have to trust that you can.
Speaker 1: You have to take action and those are little things
Speaker 1: you can do, right.
Speaker 3: That's really helpful. I like that, Thank you.
Speaker 1: There're little nuggets. Yeah, But anyway, therapy was so relieving.
Speaker 3: You were relieved, and I was released.
Speaker 1: It's worth every penny yesterday.
Speaker 3: I see. That's the dream.
Speaker 4: If somebody leaves your office thinking that, like almost like
Speaker 4: I would have paid double?
Speaker 3: Would you go that far?
Speaker 2: Mm?
Speaker 3: Like I already paid a lot. I guess.
Speaker 1: I mean, I suppose I'm my because we had some
Speaker 1: good revelations, like even I haven't teared up in therapy
Speaker 1: in a while, and I got choked up.
Speaker 3: Here's a question.
Speaker 1: But it had to do with my dad. So and
Speaker 1: I remember she was like, stay with that, stay with that.
Speaker 1: She's like, what's the what's coming up for you right now?
Speaker 1: Stay with it, don't shut it down. And I was like,
Speaker 1: I think it's for my dad, and maybe just some
Speaker 1: I was taking on what I believe to be because
Speaker 1: it's hard to know for sure because there was a
Speaker 1: lot I was feeling. But I think in that moment,
Speaker 1: especially being a parent now myself, like I was taking
Speaker 1: on maybe some humility and that my dad was experiencing
Speaker 1: like some humble pie of sorts and his pride and
Speaker 1: how hard certain things must have been. But he didn't
Speaker 1: really let me know. And I kind of lived in
Speaker 1: lalla land, and I think that's why too. Maybe my
Speaker 1: stepmom had resentment towards me. It is because she knew
Speaker 1: all the facts and like I didn't, and that's probably
Speaker 1: why it was annoying for her. But I mean, I
Speaker 1: couldn't help them. I care. And then my therapist said,
Speaker 1: you can't. Your dad was choosing to make those actions.
Speaker 1: He was choosing to continue to pay for things, even
Speaker 1: if stuff was difficult for him. He didn't want you
Speaker 1: to know so like, and I'm like, yeah, but I
Speaker 1: would have gone and gotten a job.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, I could go get a job, but I
Speaker 3: want you to.
Speaker 1: Right, But but why like he had to work so hard.
Speaker 1: That's also what just just you know what grinds my gears.
Speaker 1: It's like it would have taught me something like it
Speaker 1: would have I would have had. Not that I don't
Speaker 1: I have a poor work ethic, but I just think
Speaker 1: I could have done that in high school and college.
Speaker 3: You didn't have a job in high school and college.
Speaker 1: I mean I was a nanny for a little bit
Speaker 1: in high school when I had part time, like my
Speaker 1: senior year, I only had half the day, and then
Speaker 1: I was a hostess for six weeks one summer, and
Speaker 1: then in college, no I mean I worked at this
Speaker 1: weight loss clinic one summer. I was toxic.
Speaker 3: Ang I did not know you did it.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, my job was too Wait.
Speaker 3: That's not funny, but like also like, uh, yeah it is.
Speaker 1: It is a little bit because like I should not
Speaker 1: like I a eating disorder, right, but I shouldn't.
Speaker 4: Have been currently and when you were working there like
Speaker 4: I did when he was working there, such like now.
Speaker 1: I mean I wasn't active active in it, but I
Speaker 1: definitely had a problem.
Speaker 3: But you don't you think that's part of what drew
Speaker 3: you to go work.
Speaker 1: There, Probably because I thought I'm gonna have access to
Speaker 1: all this diet knowledge. Yeah, absolutely, but like I was not,
Speaker 1: like I I wasn't qualified to talk to them about
Speaker 1: certain things, by what standards.
Speaker 3: To talk to them about anything?
Speaker 1: Well, correct, But I did have the I part of
Speaker 1: my duties.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was allowed to weigh.
Speaker 1: And measure them, yeah, and then ask them what they ate.
Speaker 1: They were supposed to come in a wig like every
Speaker 1: thro three times a week or something, so you would
Speaker 1: ask them, Okay, what'd you eat the last two days?
Speaker 1: Because we would have a journal and jury of what
Speaker 1: they ate the last time they came in and they
Speaker 1: would feel like if they went up on the scale
Speaker 1: and they would be like, I don't know why I
Speaker 1: went up. And then I'd think, okay, well let's talk
Speaker 1: about what you ate, and then I wouldn't you'd like
Speaker 1: consult there. No, No, I just had to write it down.
Speaker 1: I wasn't consulting. But in my mind, I'm like writing down,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, menudo like oreos, it's menudo menudo.
Speaker 1: So we're in Texas, so in sort of like in
Speaker 1: a South Texas park is where I was. But it's
Speaker 1: a popular Mexican dish that is made up of all
Speaker 1: parts of the cow, like very fatty. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's a if there's.
Speaker 3: All parts, what do you mean, like the bones are bones?
Speaker 1: Wouldn't be but like like I don't.
Speaker 4: Test the liver and the like the what is it called,
Speaker 4: like the giblets or something?
Speaker 3: Is that that's chicken giblets.
Speaker 1: Or giblets giblets, Yeah, something like that. So I guess
Speaker 1: I'm just clarifying that sometimes it was really guy would
Speaker 1: be writing it down and'd be like, well, I know why,
Speaker 1: maybe didn't. But I wasn't qualified to council on that
Speaker 1: I just wrote it down and then I moved on
Speaker 1: to the next person. But yeah, that was in college,
Speaker 1: and it probably only worked there a few months and
Speaker 1: then I don't even know. I think it's because I
Speaker 1: was doing summer school there, because other than that, I
Speaker 1: would always go home for the summer and I didn't
Speaker 1: really work. But you know, I had a gas card
Speaker 1: that he paid his gas card.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're like, I could.
Speaker 1: Have and it's like that that wasn't necessary. He should
Speaker 1: have been like, you're paying for your own gas, you're
Speaker 1: paying for your own insurance. Like here, learn how to
Speaker 1: be an adult. And then no, wonder I have a
Speaker 1: fear of like opening bills, like because I didn't really
Speaker 1: have to open bills. But then also I knew, she said,
Speaker 1: so much of what I struggle with is like such
Speaker 1: on a subconscious level. It's like I knew there was
Speaker 1: also issues with my dad, because I knew there were
Speaker 1: times he went bankrupt, but then he always just bounced
Speaker 1: back how because he was a businessman. That's just so
Speaker 1: it was a roller coaster.
Speaker 4: That's like a lesson though of like sometimes this is
Speaker 4: not what you're putting down. Let me know, sometimes we
Speaker 4: think we're doing something that's really good for our kids.
Speaker 3: And then you learned it humble like the humble pie.
Speaker 4: Like you said, we learned like m it would have
Speaker 4: been better for me to have her get a job.
Speaker 1: Well, that's why passive parenting is so dangerous in my opinion.
Speaker 1: It is certainly easier.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it is what so say passive parenting if
Speaker 4: somebody doesn't know what that is.
Speaker 3: What do you mean by that, I'm not a parent.
Speaker 1: Just it's easier to just let things slide slide? You don't.
Speaker 1: You don't take the initiative to course correct or to
Speaker 1: have consequences, to have boundaries, Like people thrive on boundaries.
Speaker 1: They're really helpful. At times, I had no curfew at
Speaker 1: my dad's house. I could have parties, we could drink.
Speaker 3: Shut up, yeah you didn't. I don't think I knew this.
Speaker 4: Oh your dad was like, come over to our house
Speaker 4: and drink, it's okay.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: Well, he would mostly be out of town, be he's like.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I'm gonna have people over. And
Speaker 1: he knew that we drank. He just didn't want to
Speaker 1: deal with it. It was pat like, I'm sure.
Speaker 3: He left me that you drank. What would happen.
Speaker 1: Oh, no, I was in trouble.
Speaker 3: So did they not talk to each other?
Speaker 4: Of Like?
Speaker 1: No, I would have parties at my dad's house. And
Speaker 1: I didn't live with my dad. I lived with my mom,
Speaker 1: so sometimes I would have to leave because I had
Speaker 1: curfew at my mom's house. People would stay at my
Speaker 1: dad's house.
Speaker 3: Were you like a party girl in high school?
Speaker 1: No? I wouldn't say major major party girl. But I
Speaker 1: think that you were cool, though I don't know. I
Speaker 1: didn't feel cool probably yeah, So I don't know what
Speaker 1: defines that. I felt very like I wanted to be.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So, but yeah, those are my friends. They were cool.
Speaker 1: And my best friend Andrea, she's actually coming to town
Speaker 1: next weekend, so I'm excited to see her. But there's
Speaker 1: a few of us. We all met when we were
Speaker 1: thirteen and we still are friends.
Speaker 3: Is she going to bet Alex?
Speaker 1: She is? Yeah, ble So Scott's great a Luke when
Speaker 1: and we went to the Bahamas? Or No, not the Bahamas?
Speaker 1: Where'd we go? Cayman Islands last summer. I'm in the
Speaker 1: airport in the Cayman's and I look up and I
Speaker 1: see Luke, which he's the other he was at all
Speaker 1: these parties too, and I was like, Luke, I hadn't
Speaker 1: seen him in years, and it's crazy to like see
Speaker 1: your friends from that long ago. I got a random
Speaker 1: airport in another country. Yeah, so that is just fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, well fun story.
Speaker 1: You were time, not bad you and your nickname was
Speaker 1: little Jesus.
Speaker 4: Literally, but I I'm the one that got uninvited to
Speaker 4: parties because there was drinking, So like, you are the
Speaker 4: one hosting them?
Speaker 3: Would you?
Speaker 4: But but I hear in that is you would have
Speaker 4: let me come to your party even if I didn't drink.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I I mean I probably didn't drink that night either,
Speaker 1: because I had to drive all the way back home
Speaker 1: to my mom's house. Yeah, and my mom and my
Speaker 1: dad didn't live near each other. Yeah, so it was
Speaker 1: Oh but I remember why one friend one night, she
Speaker 1: got busted for having the party. My mom caught me
Speaker 1: because one of my friends told her mom Hamsmin and
Speaker 1: then I with Amy, and she just assumed it was
Speaker 1: my mom's house, so she called my mom's landline to
Speaker 1: talk to her. You know, this is before cell phones
Speaker 1: and all that is Catherine there No, She's like, no,
Speaker 1: I swear she's spend the night with Amy. She's like,
Speaker 1: maybe she's so. My mom got in her car again.
Speaker 1: They did not look close, and my mom the Holy
Speaker 1: Spirit led her right to the door and I got
Speaker 1: in so much trouble.
Speaker 3: She walked showed up at the party. Yeah, are you drinking?
Speaker 1: Probably because I was staying there. Who knows, I don't know.
Speaker 1: And that was one time Jenna Bush. I went to
Speaker 1: high school with them. And this has nothing to do
Speaker 1: with like drinking. Did have a party? No, it's not
Speaker 1: to do with drinking, although she got busted underage drinking
Speaker 1: in the news. But we were doing a five k
Speaker 1: the next day and we had been up really late
Speaker 1: and we spent the night at my dad's house and
Speaker 1: I we had registered and paid for the money, and
Speaker 1: I really wanted to get up and go do the
Speaker 1: five k, and she was like, no, let's just let
Speaker 1: it go. I don't want to do it. And she
Speaker 1: was like, I'm so tired. I want to sleep, and
Speaker 1: I'm like no, we already read shirt like Noda and
Speaker 1: she was like, you're the devil. And I was like
Speaker 1: what she got? And she did it that we did it,
Speaker 1: but did you die? I think she was annoyed with
Speaker 1: me for sure.
Speaker 4: No, age, you can kind of bounce back different if
Speaker 4: you did that.
Speaker 3: Now, I don't think that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I think you so like, yeah we were
Speaker 1: we don't this No, if your kid's listening, No, we
Speaker 1: were stupid.
Speaker 3: But sometimes you just need a couple.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so there you are random, Yeah, jopped down memory lane.
Speaker 1: I had no idea we would do that, but there
Speaker 1: we are. Okay, anything else. This is a very diverse
Speaker 1: episode to talk about a lot of things, and we
Speaker 1: hope wherever you are, you are having the day you
Speaker 1: need to have. Bye Bye