WEBVTT - "I WAS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS" 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:05.160 How old were you when the alien encounters first started? 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:07.520 Four or five years when I was really young. I 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:10.400 got really scared when I had a bad encounter and 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:12.880 I saw it like carry my sister down the. 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:18.360 Hallway, And did any part of you desire to intervene, 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:20.680 like thinking that your sister was in danger and you 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:23.520 needed to do something that was. 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:32.920 Terrified because not all of them were friendly, some were scary. Hello, Carl, Hey, geck, 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:33.559 how are you. 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:36.040 I'm doing all right, Carl, how are you. 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:40.040 Doing? Awesome? Awesome? 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:45.760 Carl says here twenty four years old from Florida, and 0:00:45.800 --> 0:00:49.680 that you were abducted by aliens as a child. 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:54.960 Yeah, it was a little a little odd. It was 0:00:54.960 --> 0:00:56.600 more like they came to visit my room. 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:00.960 Why do you think they came to visit your room? 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:02.080 I don't know. 0:01:02.200 --> 0:01:04.720 Man. Like when I was younger, I had like really 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:09.200 bad nightmares. And one of the things that would happen 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:11.959 is like I would see stuff floating in my rooms. 0:01:12.760 --> 0:01:16.840 And so one time, like really late at night, and man, 0:01:16.880 --> 0:01:19.520 I was terrified to sleep with the lights not being on, 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:22.399 Like if the lights were on, I'd freak out. But 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:25.160 I would see like this little like two and a 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:31.160 half foot tall dude in like sparkling black pajamas, like 0:01:31.319 --> 0:01:34.920 dancing and moon walking with me, and like that was 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:39.920 the only time, like I wasn't really afraid of the encounters, 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:42.680 but there was a few times where it like got 0:01:42.840 --> 0:01:47.360 super like super scary. Bro Like, there was one time 0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:51.680 like when I was like I would say six, I 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:54.760 was sitting there watching TV in the dark, just sitting 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:56.760 there watching cartoons because you know, back in the day, 0:01:56.800 --> 0:02:00.520 you know, TVs were a lot different, didn't have them 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:01.480 everywhere like now. 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:03.560 Well, so hold on, so hold on, hold on, back 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:06.200 back up, back up. First for a second, Carl, how 0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:11.120 old were you when the Alien Encounters first started? 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:15.600 I would say about four or five years Oh, I 0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:16.240 was really young. 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:19.200 Okay, about four or five years old. And tell me 0:02:19.240 --> 0:02:21.960 about the very first one? 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:22.520 Was it? 0:02:22.880 --> 0:02:25.280 As you said, because because you're painting sort of two 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:29.240 separate pictures, one where the aliens are dancing with you 0:02:29.320 --> 0:02:31.280 and they come in peace and they're your friend, and 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:36.839 then one where they are hostile to you. And yeah, 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:41.240 in what form did they come the very first time? 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:46.960 Uh, it would be both at the same time because 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:50.320 they would have different shapes. There'd probably be about two 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:56.760 or three different types, you know, like like sometimes they'd 0:02:56.800 --> 0:02:59.000 just be like fo nords, and then sometimes it'd be actual, 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:01.679 like they take on a human form, but they would 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:05.480 look like a shadow, if that makes sense, a sparkly 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:09.200 shadow just walking around my room. 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:11.280 Did they talk to you at all? Did they say anything? 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:17.280 No? But I would see them pick up, Like there 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:19.960 was one time I got really scared when I had 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:23.080 a bad encounter and I saw it like carried my 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:26.360 sister down the hallway and my sister didn't wake up. 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:30.440 That was the crazy part. And then hut back in 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:31.280 the bed. 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:34.000 So you saw him carry your sister down in the hallway, 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:40.360 and did any part of you desire to intervene, like 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:42.520 thinking that your sister was in danger and you needed 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:43.200 to do something. 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:47.960 That was terrifying because not all of them were friendly. 0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:51.200 Some were scary and tell. 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:52.680 Me that were friendly. 0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:56.000 So so the friendly. 0:03:55.680 --> 0:03:58.280 Ones would, I guess when they figured out that I 0:03:58.360 --> 0:04:02.640 was too traumatized, the friendly woman come down and just 0:04:02.760 --> 0:04:05.560 like dance and like no one else would hear it 0:04:05.640 --> 0:04:07.840 us about they hear like this little like do. 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:10.880 Do do do doo in the like music and the 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:14.720 thing would dance and like when walking it's crazy and 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:17.720 he was like a little midget thing. He wasn't like tall, 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.880 he was like maybe three feet tall. And that was it. 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:22.920 He just looked like sparkly shadow. 0:04:23.640 --> 0:04:27.320 The hostile aliens, the ones that that you got bad 0:04:27.400 --> 0:04:29.679 vibes from, were they short as well or were they 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:30.920 were they a different size? 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:37.880 Uh, they would be. They would have extremely exaggerated arms 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:41.320 or legs and it would almost look like Groot from 0:04:41.680 --> 0:04:45.599 Guardians of the Galaxy. Yeah, like like like like like 0:04:45.800 --> 0:04:48.640 like watching TV one night, I saw a group like 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:52.760 arm probably about six to eight feet long, reach up 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:57.160 from under the bed and try to grab me. And 0:04:57.520 --> 0:04:58.479 and that that that p. 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:05.080 And you said, to try to grab you? Yeah, yes, 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:09.080 was there any Was there any other instances of the 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:11.680 aliens trying to touch you or or like fuck with 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:12.359 you in anyway? 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:19.240 The grabbing was probably towards the end because they knew 0:05:19.240 --> 0:05:22.719 I wasn't the interceptive and so when they grabbed me, 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:26.280 I just started screaming, screaming, and my family came in 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:29.160 the room and that was it. I mean, my family 0:05:29.240 --> 0:05:33.440 was not happy about me convinced that I was seeing 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.560 the stuff because you know, they didn't see it, they 0:05:36.560 --> 0:05:39.800 didn't encounter it. And I don't know if it put 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.600 them in a trance. I don't know, if it blacked 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:45.400 them out, I don't know. 0:05:46.720 --> 0:05:50.160 And so whenever no, go ahead, go ahead. 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:55.120 Yeah. So so so whenever like it hit the point 0:05:55.120 --> 0:05:59.280 that I freak out, man, my dad would get and 0:05:59.400 --> 0:06:02.560 my mom would get really really upset with me and 0:06:02.600 --> 0:06:05.359 be abusive over it to the point because they're terrified. 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:07.800 I mean, they were just frustrated. Like you got this 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:10.520 little five year old kid, six year old kid waking 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:13.720 us up at all hours of the night, screaming. It 0:06:13.839 --> 0:06:15.880 was almost like an episode of culture Guys. 0:06:16.760 --> 0:06:18.440 You said you said they would be abusive. 0:06:20.720 --> 0:06:23.960 Well yeah, I mean like go to bed now, you know, 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:26.240 and they'd get mad at me because I couldn't sleep 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:27.039 without the lights on. 0:06:27.640 --> 0:06:28.000 Mm hm. 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:29.720 Hm. 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:30.160 Yeah. 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:34.400 How many times did this happen, these alien encounters. 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:40.080 I would say probably over the courses about three years. 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:42.920 Okay, so over the course of about three years. And 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:44.640 how many instances in those three. 0:06:44.520 --> 0:06:49.839 Years, I would say about maybe twice a week, two 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:56.440 to three times a week. Yeah, they'd come down and 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:57.280 did that. I don't know. 0:06:58.760 --> 0:07:01.560 Yeah, So this was this is this is not just 0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:09.520 like a a couple of times things this happened a lot, right, Okay? 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:12.640 And did it? Did it always happen on certain days 0:07:12.960 --> 0:07:15.400 or was it just random? 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:20.040 It was random? It was random. I remember being so 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:23.360 afraid of waking the parents out, hiding the closet or 0:07:23.360 --> 0:07:25.280 in different parts of the house to get away from them. 0:07:27.400 --> 0:07:31.000 So I imagine that over the course of these three years, 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:35.679 like if you were getting visited by aliens twice a week, 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:39.480 imagine that during your waking hours, you're afraid to go 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:42.640 to bed. Yeah, like every night. 0:07:42.760 --> 0:07:47.320 Absolutely, I was afraid of the dark completely, okay. 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:50.120 And you tell your parents about this and they just 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:52.360 get pissed off and frustrated with you, and they don't 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:57.080 want to have anything to do with it, right, right 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:58.720 do you do? You tell you sister about this? 0:08:01.640 --> 0:08:01.760 Ye? 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:06.360 And I mean me, And it was one of these 0:08:06.360 --> 0:08:12.480 situations where we talked about it, but she didn't recept 0:08:13.120 --> 0:08:17.000 It was just sounds weird, if that make sense, And 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:18.920 she just didn't want to talk about it. 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:23.200 And you you're kind of were telling me about like 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:28.400 there's the friendly aliens and there's the hostile ones. And yes, 0:08:28.560 --> 0:08:31.640 how often I mean this is happening. This must have 0:08:31.640 --> 0:08:35.160 happened to you, Like at least one hundred times. Uh yeah, 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:42.720 how often were the aliens friendly versus hostile? Like if 0:08:42.720 --> 0:08:43.360 you had to give an. 0:08:43.240 --> 0:08:47.280 Age, nine of the time hostile? 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:48.240 Kay? 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:53.600 Or maybe a language barrier? And I just did they. 0:08:56.080 --> 0:09:00.360 Interest? Interesting? Interesting? So you believe that there's a chance 0:09:00.400 --> 0:09:03.760 that they weren't being hostile, that they were just communicating 0:09:03.800 --> 0:09:07.959 to you with actually pure intentions, but because of a 0:09:08.040 --> 0:09:10.280 language barrier, you interpreted it as hostile. 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:20.559 Maybe maybe about forty percent of the hostile encounters. Yeah, yeah, maybe. 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:25.640 So it happened for so you're twenty four years old. 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:27.560 When when did this stop happening? 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:29.000 Yeah? 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:33.680 I would say when I was about nine or ten. 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:40.480 Okay, And it says here that it hasn't happened recently 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:44.920 because you think they don't like you anymore? Is that accurate? 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:54.240 Yeah? Yeah. I got family that are devote Christians and 0:09:55.200 --> 0:10:00.480 they prayed against it, and when they prayed, they just last. 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:08.120 Interesting. So you think that your family praying against it 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:13.440 is keeping keeping them away happily? 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:17.040 So I would say, yes, are. 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:17.920 You are you a Christian? 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:21.160 Yes? 0:10:23.000 --> 0:10:25.280 Do you do you pray them away? 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:29.040 Yes? The scary ones? 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:29.360 Yes? 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:37.440 So can I ask has anything like supernatural kind of 0:10:38.000 --> 0:10:40.200 happened to you. I mean, this was it's been about 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:45.640 like fourteen years. Has anything kind of supernatural happened to 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:48.920 you in those past fourteen years aside from just this 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:49.760 alien thing? 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:56.440 No, not no, no, just it was like it was 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:59.880 completely unplugged and stop at age nine to. 0:11:02.559 --> 0:11:07.080 And and it happened right when you started praying. Yes, 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:09.800 do you pray have a day? 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:10.080 Yeah? 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:16.080 Yeah, and every day that you pray for the past 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:21.679 fourteen years. Do you think about these creatures. 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:25.160 When I was younger, yes, yeah, because those a traumatic thing. 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:30.920 What do you think about when you pray nowadays? 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:37.280 Yeah? Just life direction, man, Okay, that's the biggest thing. 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:44.920 I mean, you know, yeah. 0:11:44.960 --> 0:11:49.400 Have you ever talked about these aliens with like an 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:52.120 actual psychiatrist or therapist? 0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:59.599 My mom, when I was really young, cut me to 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:07.280 some one and she told him that she was praying 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.800 against when I got older, actually probably about nine, and 0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:15.280 that stopped them. And when they told her that, the 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:22.360 psychologist basically said you shouldn't have done that and that, 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:25.400 and that you're just feeding into the illusions. 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:33.160 M hmm. Okay, So the psychologist told your mom that 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:40.760 she shouldn't feed into your delusions. Pretty much Okay, so 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:48.960 do you I said, and this was when you were nine? Yes, okay, 0:12:49.040 --> 0:12:52.079 so you're twenty four years old, you're an adult. Now 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:56.840 have you made any effort, like, you know, independently to 0:12:56.920 --> 0:12:58.360 talk to a psychiatrist about this? 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:00.480 Uh? 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:05.800 Other instances, but no, not this, because honestly, I blacked 0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:11.600 a lot of it out. Yeah, I mean traumatic when 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:12.080 I was young. 0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:16.560 Interesting, Well, I mean okay, so tell me this, tell me, 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:17.960 tell me this, then tell me this. 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:18.240 Then. 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:22.720 How do you feel like in this very moment talking 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:26.040 to me and all these other people listening about it? 0:13:27.800 --> 0:13:35.760 Yeah? Yeah, mm hmm. I I I wanted to talk 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:39.320 in a way that it would be an open minded setting, 0:13:40.080 --> 0:13:41.600 and I feel like you're open minded. 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:48.760 Sure, so it feels so you you don't feel like 0:13:49.559 --> 0:13:52.840 because I because I want to kind of get to 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:55.480 why you don't feel like you can talk to a 0:13:55.920 --> 0:14:02.319 psychiatrist about this? Like is it a like is there 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:05.199 is there like a fear against doing that? 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:07.640 They're expensive? 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:10.360 They are fucking expensive. That's true. 0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:17.480 That is very true, guy, That is true. You know. 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:25.480 Yeah forty six an hour? 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:29.040 Yeah, yeah, that is true. I just run into this 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:31.360 thing where it's hard because I was I always tell 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:34.920 people that you know. Obviously, I'm not even a fake therapist. 0:14:35.000 --> 0:14:37.240 I'm a I'm a guy in a geckle costume talking 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:41.000 to people. But I always tell people they should go 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:43.960 talk to an actual therapist if they're trying to talk 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:45.680 to me about something that I've talked to an actual 0:14:45.720 --> 0:14:49.040 therapists about. And then I always, you know, they're like, 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:53.240 a therapist are expensive, and I'm like, that's true, But 0:14:53.280 --> 0:14:55.720 I would I would look into real I would, I would, 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:58.160 I would look into whatever. You know, listen, I want 0:14:58.160 --> 0:14:59.960 to keep talking about this, but just as an assad, 0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:04.960 I would look into whatever resources are available for you 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:11.840 to talk to a real therapist. But I guess all 0:15:11.880 --> 0:15:16.920 of that aside. Is this, you know, all that aside, 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:21.880 is this something that like contemporarily, you know, as a 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:24.560 twenty four year old as you sort of go about 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:27.280 your day to day life. Is this something that still 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:28.360 like affects. 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:34.840 You maybe out of sub this fear. Maybe I have 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:39.200 some fear that I deal with, Okay, you know, with 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:44.280 Gil being assertive and making decisions to do stuff, m 0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:47.680 you know, because you're afraid you're going to make the 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:52.200 wrong decision, you know, and that and that it would 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:52.920 make a mistake. 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:58.320 You know, how how did how do these aliens and 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:05.840 these encounters, how have they influenced your feelings about decision making? 0:16:10.440 --> 0:16:15.040 I think making the wrong decisions or the wrong moves, 0:16:15.160 --> 0:16:19.960 or making something angry. You know, that's that's that's the 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:25.200 biggest thing you don't want to encounter. I don't know. 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:27.200 I don't want to say rap of the heeling, you know, 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:29.760 that's probably the wrong thing to say. 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.600 I mean is that it are you like afraid that 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:34.920 if you make the wrong decision that like they'll come back. 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:40.160 I don't know, it's just you know, like you know, 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:42.280 when you're five and six years old and your parents 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:46.320 are yelling at you to go to bed, you know, yeah, 0:16:46.520 --> 0:16:48.600 it's like you know, you like you go to your 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:51.680 mom and dad for protection and say, hey, mom, you know, 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:55.760 I'm scared, and then all of a sudden, it's like, 0:16:55.800 --> 0:16:57.200 go to bed now. I got to be at the 0:16:57.200 --> 0:17:01.360 factory at six a m. You know, I'm sorry, talking quietly, 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:01.920 I'm not sure. 0:17:04.920 --> 0:17:09.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, dude, I I totally I can 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:13.840 see that, right, because you're fucking six. And whether or 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:16.240 not at that well, look, whether or not it actually happens, 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:22.680 you believe that fucking aliens are coming to fucking attack you. 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:24.879 You're six or you don't have any you know, and 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:27.040 you really kind of don't have any tools when you're 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:30.240 six years old to deal with anything except for your parents, 0:17:30.920 --> 0:17:33.520 and so you go to your parents and they fucking 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:39.520 become like an extra source of hostility toward you. And like, yeah, 0:17:39.760 --> 0:17:43.000 that fucking sucks. I can see why that uh uh 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:47.480 what would have an effect on someone, for sure? And 0:17:47.520 --> 0:17:50.240 I'm sorry that that happened to you. I feel like 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:52.280 you deserve better. You seem like a sweet guy. You 0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:54.520 don't seem like you deserve anything like that. 0:17:57.240 --> 0:18:03.399 Yeah. Yeah, what made me want to ask was I 0:18:03.640 --> 0:18:08.639 I was a friend of my family sent me a 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:14.080 link about Fran being abducted, and I was kind of 0:18:14.720 --> 0:18:19.200 like hoping that this would open up dialogue into that 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:22.760 and give me some like answers that you know, I'm 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:25.000 not alone. There's other people that have dealt with this, 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:30.199 you know, Fran, there's a change, Yeah, like Fran Dresser. 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:35.080 Ah, well, okay, all right, all right, Well, well Fran 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:39.159 was abducted by like assailants, not I don't think she 0:18:39.200 --> 0:18:40.680 was abducted by aliens. 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:42.600 It's on the today show. 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:45.760 Really did she talk about being abducted by a I 0:18:45.760 --> 0:18:47.760 have you know more about her than I do? 0:18:47.880 --> 0:18:52.119 Probably, yeah, Google it's true. 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:55.080 Well, look, I can put a word in I'll see 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:58.560 if if I I know she was abducted, but I'm 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:00.879 pretty sure it wasn't by aliens. Sure it was by like, 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:03.199 you know, assailants. 0:19:03.720 --> 0:19:11.000 Her hand, her hand, huh, being like, well, well look look, 0:19:11.000 --> 0:19:12.160 I'll tell you I'll tell you this much. 0:19:12.160 --> 0:19:14.200 I'll tell you this much. You're definitely not alone. And 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:19.800 you know people reporting uh ah encounters with with aliens 0:19:19.800 --> 0:19:24.399 and whatnot. I and I'm not gonna throw my you know, 0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:26.919 hat in the ring as to you know, my opinions 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:28.480 on whether or not any of that stuff is real, 0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:30.639 because I you know, who the fuck am I to 0:19:30.720 --> 0:19:34.720 determine reality. But man, look, at the end of the day, 0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:38.040 I will say, you know, I do hope that uh 0:19:38.760 --> 0:19:40.679 you you find the I I I again, I know 0:19:40.720 --> 0:19:42.600 it's I know it's tough for people out there to 0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:45.480 find like actual help, but I I do hope that 0:19:45.520 --> 0:19:49.679 you can find, uh, you know, a licensed person to 0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:52.960 kind of talk through this ship with that can help 0:19:53.000 --> 0:19:56.640 you make better sense of it. You totally didn't deserve 0:19:56.800 --> 0:20:00.439 for your parents to like fucking yelling you when you 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:05.960 were in that position. Yeah, And man, I appreciate you 0:20:06.000 --> 0:20:08.080 sharing this stuff. This is interesting. I feel like there's 0:20:08.080 --> 0:20:11.480 got to be somebody listening who's had a a similar 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:16.840 experience as you with these aliens that maybe we'll reach out. 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:20.359 Is there anything else that you want to say about 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:23.240 the whole thing or about anything in general before we go. 0:20:25.160 --> 0:20:28.600 The group hands When I was younger, scared me like 0:20:28.680 --> 0:20:31.800 that was probably the most traumatic because like, you know, 0:20:31.840 --> 0:20:35.000 you're sitting there watching TV and you see like a 0:20:35.520 --> 0:20:38.159 nine foot arm come out and try to grab you 0:20:38.200 --> 0:20:42.680 out of the bed. You know, that was probably the scariest. 0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:47.360 But see, like time they're scary, but there was that 0:20:47.400 --> 0:20:50.040 ten percent of the time where like I guess they 0:20:50.040 --> 0:20:52.760 would try to make me laugh. 0:20:54.520 --> 0:20:59.000 They're playing good, they're playing good alien bad alien on you. 0:20:59.040 --> 0:21:01.920 Maybe maybe like like like that looked a weird one, 0:21:02.040 --> 0:21:03.280 Like when you see like a two and a half 0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:07.560 foot tall dark shadow sparkly and at first you're scared 0:21:07.600 --> 0:21:11.240 and realize the dude's dancing and you're hearing like music. 0:21:12.760 --> 0:21:18.040 You know, I wonder if there's like I wonder if 0:21:18.040 --> 0:21:19.719 there's like and This will probably be the last thing 0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:23.800 I have to say about this. It's totally totally uninformed, 0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:27.320 But I wonder if there's like, you know, how people 0:21:27.320 --> 0:21:30.520 have like lucid dreams, where like they can kind of, yeah, 0:21:31.400 --> 0:21:35.879 like awaken themselves to determine the reality of, you know whatever, 0:21:35.920 --> 0:21:39.120 the dream reality of what's going on, Like, is there 0:21:39.160 --> 0:21:41.680 a version of that when you're in these encounters where 0:21:41.720 --> 0:21:45.480 you can sort of take control of the situation and 0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:51.159 perceive the aliens to be helpful, you know, like you 0:21:51.160 --> 0:21:52.960 can kind of take control over whether or not they're 0:21:52.960 --> 0:21:53.920 helpful or hostile. 0:21:55.560 --> 0:21:59.200 Maybe they were more like ghosts, because there's one point 0:21:59.280 --> 0:22:03.520 where I got bold enough to just run through them, 0:22:04.040 --> 0:22:09.040 if that makes sense. So so, but that was one 0:22:09.080 --> 0:22:12.760 hundred percent aware, like like like I wasn't I wasn't 0:22:12.800 --> 0:22:16.560 asleep or coming out of a dream to state if 0:22:16.600 --> 0:22:17.280 that make sense. 0:22:18.359 --> 0:22:19.840 Carl, is there anything else that you would like to 0:22:19.880 --> 0:22:20.560 say before we go? 0:22:22.080 --> 0:22:23.560 No, sir, thank you for your time. 0:22:24.160 --> 0:22:28.280 Hey, thank you for thank you for calling. Carl. Appreciate you, yeap, 0:22:28.359 --> 0:22:29.040 appreciate you. 0:22:29.400 --> 0:22:29.680 Bye. 0:22:36.240 --> 0:22:41.679 Oh man. You know what's interesting is I f everybody 0:22:41.840 --> 0:22:49.440 listening to that like had their own like, uh imagination 0:22:49.760 --> 0:22:55.639 in their head of what Carl's aliens looked like, and 0:22:55.720 --> 0:22:59.879 I'm thinking about, what, ever, what everyone's different imagination of 0:22:59.880 --> 0:23:02.520 the aliens looked like mine? They looked like little, uh 0:23:03.520 --> 0:23:07.480 outlines of creatures that have like stars in them or 0:23:07.520 --> 0:23:12.679 some shit, and they're kind of dancing around. Man, I 0:23:12.720 --> 0:23:15.919 fucking feel for Carl because I want him to I 0:23:15.960 --> 0:23:18.000 want him to be able to talk about all that 0:23:18.040 --> 0:23:22.040 shit with like an actual psychiatrist. And this happens, so 0:23:22.200 --> 0:23:24.920 this happens so often on this podcast where someone well 0:23:24.960 --> 0:23:27.160 will come to something and of course I'll be like, hey, 0:23:27.160 --> 0:23:28.480 you know, you should probably talk about that with a 0:23:28.480 --> 0:23:30.720 real therapist. And then I'm like, man, I wish I 0:23:30.720 --> 0:23:35.239 could sit in the room while he's talking about that 0:23:35.320 --> 0:23:38.640 with an actual psychiatrist and like actually like get their 0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:42.280 take on what's going on, because I have obviously no idea, 0:23:42.720 --> 0:23:46.960 but I do. I do wonder what they would have 0:23:47.040 --> 0:23:51.480 to say about what's going on with Carl. You know, 0:23:52.520 --> 0:23:56.119 if it is some form of a delusion, if it 0:23:56.200 --> 0:24:01.040 is some sort of masking of uh traumatic event that 0:24:01.040 --> 0:24:04.840 that's not even you know, being brought up, or if 0:24:04.840 --> 0:24:08.160 it's fucking aliens. What if he goes to see a 0:24:08.200 --> 0:24:14.119 therapist and they're like, yeah, that's aliens. Aliens exist, and 0:24:14.200 --> 0:24:19.600 they did try to abduct you, and that means that 0:24:19.680 --> 0:24:24.440 you're the chosen person and that I have to give 0:24:24.480 --> 0:24:28.639 you a million dollars that could be what happens. I 0:24:28.680 --> 0:24:32.320 have no idea, I have no semblance of the thing, 0:24:34.200 --> 0:24:37.959 but that's spooky. I felt bad for him too when 0:24:38.000 --> 0:24:40.520 he was talking about how his parents were just being 0:24:40.640 --> 0:24:43.959 jerks about it, because really, when you're six, you have nothing, 0:24:47.080 --> 0:24:50.159 you know. I mean, he's twenty four now, and you 0:24:50.200 --> 0:24:52.360 can kind of if you're twenty four and you get 0:24:52.359 --> 0:24:54.560 abducted by aliens, you can kind of be like, oh, well, 0:24:54.560 --> 0:24:56.760 that was weird that I thought about that. When you're six, 0:24:58.200 --> 0:25:01.840 you have every When you're sex, you accept everything that 0:25:01.920 --> 0:25:05.080 happens to you at face value. So if you if 0:25:05.080 --> 0:25:07.399 you are fucking getting abducted by aliens and you're six, 0:25:08.000 --> 0:25:10.400 you're not You're not much of a skeptic. When you're six, 0:25:10.440 --> 0:25:12.800 you're still believing in Santa Claus and the tooth Fairy 0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:16.280 and shit, and so you have every right to take 0:25:16.320 --> 0:25:18.600 everything that happens to you a face value. And so 0:25:18.760 --> 0:25:21.720 the fear that you feel when that happens to you. 0:25:21.760 --> 0:25:24.960 It's real. It's like, oh, I'm fucking getting abducted by aliens, 0:25:24.960 --> 0:25:27.120 Like you're really feeling that. And you go to your parents, 0:25:27.119 --> 0:25:28.760 who are supposed to be the only people in your 0:25:28.800 --> 0:25:32.880 life who can really you can count on for anything, 0:25:33.280 --> 0:25:36.600 and then they give you They respond to you with 0:25:36.680 --> 0:25:40.480 more fear. But it's not your fucking fault. Because you're six, 0:25:40.520 --> 0:25:42.840 You're just You're six, You're nothing. You none of your 0:25:42.880 --> 0:25:46.800 actions are propelled by anything except for whatever emotion you're 0:25:46.800 --> 0:25:49.600 feeling at that time, And you're whatever emotion you're feeling 0:25:49.600 --> 0:25:51.040 at the time, you're not even control of because you 0:25:51.359 --> 0:25:56.760 because you're six. Fucking Carl. I I feel for him. 0:25:56.800 --> 0:26:09.320 I hope, I hope he gets whatever help he needs. Carl, Carl, Carl, Hello, Hello, Hi? 0:26:09.520 --> 0:26:11.680 Is this Jessica? 0:26:12.400 --> 0:26:14.320 It is this is. 0:26:14.640 --> 0:26:18.760 The this is the Gecko. What's your life like, Jessica? 0:26:18.760 --> 0:26:25.520 Oh, you know, just crashing down around me? But I'm surviving. 0:26:25.840 --> 0:26:30.359 Is that true? Is it really crashing down around you? Well? 0:26:31.200 --> 0:26:34.760 I guess it could always be worse, but well, what 0:26:35.400 --> 0:26:35.920 is then? 0:26:36.680 --> 0:26:39.240 What is it that made you, like gut say that 0:26:39.320 --> 0:26:41.199 it's crashing down around you? 0:26:43.880 --> 0:26:46.080 Well? I don't know, just the way that my life 0:26:46.160 --> 0:26:51.760 has been past like a month or so, I was 0:26:51.800 --> 0:26:54.680 living with my grandparents and then my grandparents kicked me 0:26:54.720 --> 0:26:57.600 out of my house and I have a dog, so 0:26:57.640 --> 0:27:01.800 I had to find another my dog, and then I 0:27:01.840 --> 0:27:04.480 had to move in with my dad. I quit my 0:27:04.600 --> 0:27:10.400 job and everything. So I know, I love like thirty 0:27:10.480 --> 0:27:11.760 it's not that big of a deal, but it's like 0:27:11.800 --> 0:27:13.760 thirty minutes away from my boyfriend, and I just had 0:27:13.800 --> 0:27:15.760 to like uproot my life and everything. And that happened 0:27:15.760 --> 0:27:17.800 to the last like a month or so. So I'm 0:27:17.800 --> 0:27:19.600 just trying to figure out my life right now. 0:27:20.520 --> 0:27:23.040 Why did your grandparents kick you out? 0:27:26.720 --> 0:27:33.679 They it's kind of complicated, but my grandparents are just 0:27:33.840 --> 0:27:39.000 they're not the nicest people and they were very mentally 0:27:39.040 --> 0:27:44.399 abusive towards me. So it was better for my mental 0:27:44.400 --> 0:27:47.159 health because I've lived with my grandparents since I was 0:27:47.240 --> 0:27:50.840 like sixteen, like on and off and everything like that, 0:27:50.920 --> 0:27:53.320 so I've just kind of been like I've moved around 0:27:53.320 --> 0:27:54.120 a lot as a kid. 0:27:54.400 --> 0:27:58.600 But so are you feeling I never had a good 0:27:59.480 --> 0:28:02.119 are you? Are you feeling better now that you've moved out? 0:28:03.680 --> 0:28:09.959 Oh? I knew it was the right move, but yeah, 0:28:10.640 --> 0:28:12.320 It just sucks because I had to get I had 0:28:12.320 --> 0:28:14.520 to find a new home for my dog because my 0:28:14.600 --> 0:28:18.760 dad was allergic and he couldn't live in his apartment. 0:28:19.040 --> 0:28:25.679 So oh well, it's not like I didn't have to 0:28:25.680 --> 0:28:28.879 give him up completely, Like he's just temporarily staying at 0:28:28.880 --> 0:28:34.720 this lady's house until I can find another place to live. 0:28:35.119 --> 0:28:35.760 Pretty much. 0:28:37.840 --> 0:28:42.480 Well, it says here Jessica that a couple months ago 0:28:42.520 --> 0:28:45.200 you were diagnosed with herpes, and you would like to 0:28:45.240 --> 0:28:45.760 talk about that. 0:28:47.880 --> 0:28:54.920 Yeah, that happened like in like August or so, and 0:28:55.160 --> 0:28:58.440 like previously, I was like in a relationship with someone 0:28:58.600 --> 0:29:01.640 for like two years, and we like broke up like 0:29:01.680 --> 0:29:04.880 a couple of months before August, and then I was 0:29:04.920 --> 0:29:08.680 just kind of like wanted to get out there again 0:29:09.240 --> 0:29:14.400 and everything. So I did what everyone does and downloaded. 0:29:15.760 --> 0:29:18.480 I think it was Tinder or hinge, you know, one 0:29:18.480 --> 0:29:23.320 of those dating the things that people do. But yeah, 0:29:23.400 --> 0:29:27.520 so I was talking with this guy and we hung 0:29:27.560 --> 0:29:31.000 out a couple of times, and he acted like he 0:29:31.280 --> 0:29:38.240 was totally into me and everything, and like probably the 0:29:38.320 --> 0:29:41.640 fourth time until like hanging out with him, I was like, 0:29:41.840 --> 0:29:46.400 notice that, you know, something was off down there. And 0:29:46.440 --> 0:29:50.120 then I went to before I could even confront this 0:29:50.200 --> 0:29:54.360 guy like out of blue. He was just like, you know, 0:29:54.480 --> 0:29:56.640 like I'm just like I just can't have sex before. 0:29:56.680 --> 0:29:58.360 But I just thought that was the weirdest thing. It 0:29:58.400 --> 0:30:02.480 was even before I told him that, like something was 0:30:02.480 --> 0:30:07.000 going on, because it was before I got like tested officially, 0:30:08.160 --> 0:30:14.040 so I don't know, but yeah, and I at first 0:30:14.240 --> 0:30:19.760 I was just absolutely mortified with myself. When I went 0:30:19.800 --> 0:30:25.400 to like Planned Parenthood and they tested be and everything, 0:30:26.920 --> 0:30:29.400 I was just like, oh, great, Like this is just 0:30:29.440 --> 0:30:32.360 the cherry on top of my life. Because I also have, 0:30:32.640 --> 0:30:37.040 like I have a kind of a rare condition called 0:30:38.120 --> 0:30:42.520 Eller's Damlo syndrome, So that kind of affects like your 0:30:42.520 --> 0:30:47.959 connective tissues. So the logistics is like the symptoms is 0:30:48.040 --> 0:30:51.600 like you feel like it's a chronic pain twenty four 0:30:51.600 --> 0:30:54.560 to seven and it's kind of similar to like rumin 0:30:54.560 --> 0:31:00.240 toward ourthritis. So on top of dealing with that every day, 0:31:00.440 --> 0:31:04.520 now I have herpes And I was like, oh, fantastic, 0:31:04.840 --> 0:31:05.480 this is great. 0:31:05.560 --> 0:31:08.320 So what's the deal with Yeah it is? Is it forever? 0:31:08.520 --> 0:31:10.760 Or is it like chlamydia where you just take a 0:31:10.800 --> 0:31:12.640 few pills and you're done. 0:31:13.080 --> 0:31:17.040 Sadly, sadly, it's with you for your entire life. 0:31:17.880 --> 0:31:21.360 Really, every type of herpes it's with you your entire life. 0:31:22.840 --> 0:31:25.560 Well, yeah, so there's two different types of herpes. There's 0:31:25.840 --> 0:31:31.160 HSV one, which is what like most people have, Like 0:31:31.240 --> 0:31:33.880 I think I've read like one statistic ver's like eighty percent. 0:31:33.960 --> 0:31:37.280 It's like the population has or a herpees and that's 0:31:37.320 --> 0:31:38.920 just like if you get like a cold store, like 0:31:39.040 --> 0:31:40.560 sure a lot of people had, And. 0:31:40.560 --> 0:31:42.600 Is that one is that one the temporary one? 0:31:45.840 --> 0:31:50.520 Well, it kind of it's kind of difficult to explain, 0:31:50.800 --> 0:31:53.760 but basically with herpes, it can you can have like 0:31:53.800 --> 0:31:56.840 an outbreak and it can like come and go like 0:31:56.960 --> 0:31:59.760 for me personally, like my first outbreak that I had 0:32:00.080 --> 0:32:05.600 used for like two and a half weeks and then 0:32:05.840 --> 0:32:09.760 like afterwards like each yeah, so like each time that 0:32:09.800 --> 0:32:13.520 you get an outbreak, it like gets lesser like each time. 0:32:14.520 --> 0:32:16.320 So like my first outbreak, it. 0:32:16.320 --> 0:32:18.680 Was which one which one of you have? 0:32:20.800 --> 0:32:23.280 I have HC too, so I have it generally. 0:32:25.480 --> 0:32:29.920 Yeah, And how often does that one break out? 0:32:32.200 --> 0:32:37.800 Well it was about once a month now, I would say, 0:32:38.160 --> 0:32:40.640 And I usually get it around like you know, my 0:32:41.120 --> 0:32:44.560 also weekly visit. So I think just like the hormones 0:32:44.600 --> 0:32:47.160 and stuff like that. Everything kind of like kind of 0:32:47.200 --> 0:32:51.000 starts it, you know, because it can often be triggered 0:32:51.040 --> 0:32:53.480 by like stress, you can get an outbreak from stress 0:32:53.680 --> 0:32:57.720 or like other like physical activities. Sometimes you can get 0:32:57.760 --> 0:33:00.640 it like a trigger to that for now breaks. 0:33:00.760 --> 0:33:05.640 So now everyone that you have sex with is it? 0:33:05.680 --> 0:33:09.080 Is it sort of permanently transmissible? 0:33:12.800 --> 0:33:16.600 It depends, so it there's like all these different types 0:33:16.640 --> 0:33:21.560 of like statistics on like how much is transferable and 0:33:21.640 --> 0:33:23.680 like if you use protection and then if you don't 0:33:23.760 --> 0:33:30.320 use protection. But I've only had uh, like I'm in 0:33:30.360 --> 0:33:32.600 a relationship right now, and that's the first person that 0:33:32.720 --> 0:33:37.840 I have been with since I was diagnosed and we've 0:33:37.840 --> 0:33:43.800 been dating since like mid December, and he doesn't have 0:33:43.880 --> 0:33:49.000 any symptoms at all really, so it's very interesting and 0:33:49.160 --> 0:33:52.960 like there's been I know, it's so it can be. 0:33:53.600 --> 0:33:54.680 I can I ask you. I want to ask you 0:33:54.720 --> 0:33:56.640 request before you. I want to ask you real question. 0:33:56.880 --> 0:34:00.760 So when you okay? So, So it was for December 0:34:01.360 --> 0:34:04.160 that you were diagnosed with herpes and then you met 0:34:04.200 --> 0:34:06.560 this guy who is your boyfriend and you've been dating 0:34:06.560 --> 0:34:10.360 for about five months, and what was that conversation like 0:34:11.160 --> 0:34:14.600 before you guys had sex where you had to be like, hey, 0:34:14.680 --> 0:34:19.360 so listen, I gotta tell you about this thing. Yeah. 0:34:19.400 --> 0:34:25.960 So that's probably the hardest part because like I hung 0:34:26.000 --> 0:34:31.440 out with him about three times and just because like 0:34:31.480 --> 0:34:34.200 I wanted to feel it out first before, like because 0:34:34.239 --> 0:34:37.279 it was my first time of ever telling like a 0:34:37.360 --> 0:34:40.960 male that I was like interested with and that I like, hey, 0:34:41.040 --> 0:34:43.920 by the way, I have rupies, you know, right, So 0:34:44.360 --> 0:34:48.279 I wanted to like make sure, like I don't know 0:34:48.360 --> 0:34:52.080 that he was like a good person, I guess, but yeah, 0:34:52.120 --> 0:34:56.840 so I basically they call like disclosing in the Harpies world, 0:34:57.000 --> 0:34:58.960 but I just closed him. 0:34:59.200 --> 0:34:59.279 Like. 0:35:01.040 --> 0:35:06.160 Yeah, that's the actual thing. But yeah, I just texted 0:35:06.200 --> 0:35:09.600 him like the third day of us like hanging out 0:35:09.719 --> 0:35:12.520 or whatever, and I was just like, you know, like 0:35:13.400 --> 0:35:17.640 I enjoy like spending time with you, blah blah blah. 0:35:17.680 --> 0:35:22.000 I think this would be like something that you know, 0:35:22.280 --> 0:35:24.680 what you say to it if you like someone stuff 0:35:24.719 --> 0:35:26.960 like that. And then I was like, you know, like 0:35:27.040 --> 0:35:30.520 a couple of months ago, I was diagnosed with herpees, 0:35:30.920 --> 0:35:33.680 and I told him what my frequency was and how 0:35:34.080 --> 0:35:37.120 my out like when I get outbreaks, and I told 0:35:37.160 --> 0:35:41.560 him like the percentage of like what's like transfer transferable? 0:35:41.600 --> 0:35:44.040 And I sent him like this whole chart on. 0:35:44.400 --> 0:35:50.120 You you included visual aids, yeah. 0:35:49.520 --> 0:35:53.960 Because like I don't know, yeah, because like before I 0:35:54.000 --> 0:35:57.600 had herpes, I like I never knew anyone that had herpes. 0:35:57.840 --> 0:35:59.360 And I like, well. 0:35:59.760 --> 0:36:02.440 So so you wrote all this stuff out for him, 0:36:02.480 --> 0:36:04.520 you send it to him, and how does he respond? 0:36:06.360 --> 0:36:14.000 He had the most amazing response ever. He was basically 0:36:15.560 --> 0:36:19.480 he said I was worth it and that he appreciates 0:36:21.400 --> 0:36:23.960 me coming out and kind of saying like what was 0:36:24.000 --> 0:36:28.640 going on? And he basically said he wants to like 0:36:28.800 --> 0:36:30.520 you know, wants to have a future with me or 0:36:30.520 --> 0:36:33.600 see how it goes, and it doesn't really matter to him. 0:36:33.640 --> 0:36:38.680 And like he obviously was like you know, like he said, 0:36:40.239 --> 0:36:43.680 like keep me in check on like how everything's going, 0:36:43.840 --> 0:36:46.120 like let me know if you're having an outbreak and 0:36:46.360 --> 0:36:50.120 when it's done, and like he was just trying to 0:36:50.160 --> 0:36:52.680 be like super supportive and everything like that. 0:36:53.239 --> 0:36:55.560 Really, so it was like you can kind of find 0:36:55.760 --> 0:36:59.000 like so so basically you guys have like sort of 0:36:59.080 --> 0:37:03.080 windows where it's not breaking out where you can safely 0:37:03.160 --> 0:37:05.040 have sex and he won't get it. 0:37:07.239 --> 0:37:11.800 Well, it's still transferable. I think it's like something in 0:37:12.000 --> 0:37:14.759 to like this a wide range, but it was like 0:37:14.800 --> 0:37:18.960 ten to thirty percent chance of transfer transferring if you 0:37:19.000 --> 0:37:20.799 don't have an outbreak, and then I think it's like 0:37:21.880 --> 0:37:25.560 seventy five percent if you're like during an outbreak. 0:37:25.600 --> 0:37:28.480 But and how how many times had you hung out 0:37:28.480 --> 0:37:30.280 with this guy before you told them. 0:37:32.160 --> 0:37:34.920 I hung out with him three times? 0:37:35.360 --> 0:37:38.759 Three times? This is interesting. This is like a you know, 0:37:38.800 --> 0:37:42.200 in a weird way, this functions as like a litmus 0:37:42.239 --> 0:37:45.959 test for you. You know, I mean, if you're the type 0:37:45.960 --> 0:37:52.040 of person who you're really seeking a long term, committed thing, 0:37:52.680 --> 0:37:54.719 this is a good litmus test for you because it's like, 0:37:54.800 --> 0:37:59.920 you know, three meetings in you hit him with that, 0:38:00.360 --> 0:38:03.520 and you're like, all right, let's see if he's in 0:38:03.680 --> 0:38:05.840 down for the count, you know, and you kind of 0:38:05.840 --> 0:38:08.040 get your answer that Yeah. So in a weird way, it, 0:38:08.480 --> 0:38:12.440 like like I said, works as this litmus test to 0:38:12.560 --> 0:38:15.880 kind of prove who's in and who's out. And you 0:38:16.000 --> 0:38:18.279 clearly have found somebody who is in. 0:38:20.960 --> 0:38:23.160 Yeah. 0:38:23.719 --> 0:38:27.400 So so moving forward, you know, as to kind of 0:38:27.400 --> 0:38:30.560 wrap this up, things seem to be going and you've 0:38:30.600 --> 0:38:33.600 been with this guy for five months. You had a 0:38:33.640 --> 0:38:37.960 little bit of issues with your living situation, you know, 0:38:38.040 --> 0:38:42.800 before we go, Jessica, what's kind of like the next 0:38:43.520 --> 0:38:47.359 step for you? Do you think where can we see 0:38:47.360 --> 0:38:50.960 your adventures taking you, you know, in the coming. 0:38:50.719 --> 0:38:57.759 Weeks, in the coming weeks. Well, right now, I'm unemployed, 0:38:57.920 --> 0:39:00.440 so I'm currently looking for a job, and I've been 0:39:00.480 --> 0:39:03.840 looking for the job since like I don't know, like 0:39:03.960 --> 0:39:06.319 mid March, and I just got a job interview on 0:39:06.400 --> 0:39:11.680 Wednesday for this as being like an administrative assistant at 0:39:11.719 --> 0:39:16.680 this doctor's office that does like therapy for kids that 0:39:16.719 --> 0:39:21.440 have autism. So hopefully that job interview and I'll be 0:39:21.480 --> 0:39:24.680 around positive people constantly. 0:39:24.880 --> 0:39:29.120 So, uh well, Jessica, thank you for sharing that with us. 0:39:29.160 --> 0:39:30.560 Is there anything else that you want to say to 0:39:30.560 --> 0:39:32.120 the people of the computer before we go? 0:39:37.440 --> 0:39:38.360 It gets better. 0:39:39.719 --> 0:39:41.480 Sometimes, hopefully. 0:39:41.920 --> 0:39:43.080 Yeah, that's the. 0:39:44.840 --> 0:39:49.520 Thank you for calling, all right, Thanks guys. 0:39:52.120 --> 0:39:57.520 Mhmm, interesting, interesting, interesting. Yeah, that's a heavy thing to 0:39:57.760 --> 0:40:03.839 like have to you know, I'm glad for her that, Like, 0:40:04.480 --> 0:40:09.080 so it sounded like she wasn't on a super super 0:40:09.280 --> 0:40:15.400 long search before she found somebody who was cool with 0:40:15.480 --> 0:40:18.640 the herpes. I'm happy for her about that because I 0:40:18.680 --> 0:40:20.920 almost you know, I don't know what I would do 0:40:20.960 --> 0:40:24.040 if I were in that situation, because she chooses, and 0:40:24.200 --> 0:40:26.200 you know, look, I respect, I respect the strategy that 0:40:26.239 --> 0:40:29.000 she went with. She's like, Okay, let me get three 0:40:29.080 --> 0:40:33.520 dates in and then I'll bring it up. And I 0:40:33.560 --> 0:40:35.160 don't I don't know if I would do that. I 0:40:35.200 --> 0:40:37.799 don't know if I would do that versus like, I 0:40:37.800 --> 0:40:39.600 mean maybe not look, maybe not the very first thing 0:40:39.600 --> 0:40:43.640 that comes out of my mouth, but you know, opting 0:40:43.719 --> 0:40:47.520 to as soon as possible let it be known, because look, 0:40:47.560 --> 0:40:51.120 for some people that can be a big thing. But 0:40:51.160 --> 0:40:54.080 she opts to kind of do the slow burn. And 0:40:54.120 --> 0:40:56.319 I'm glad it worked for her because that would have 0:40:56.360 --> 0:41:01.040 been kind of a crushing thing if she were to 0:41:01.160 --> 0:41:05.120 have invested all of that time, dropped the bomb and 0:41:05.160 --> 0:41:08.359 then he was out, you know. And I mean, look, 0:41:08.400 --> 0:41:11.440 you know, no shame to anyone for you know, any 0:41:11.520 --> 0:41:15.600 choices that make to do anything, But you know, I'm 0:41:15.640 --> 0:41:18.160 glad it worked out for her, especially considering all the 0:41:18.200 --> 0:41:21.920 other shit that's was going on in her life between 0:41:21.960 --> 0:41:25.600 the dog and the grandparents and everything. So at least 0:41:25.880 --> 0:41:29.319 she found someone. It's cool with the herpes. I feel 0:41:29.320 --> 0:41:30.719 like that's I don't know, I don't know, I've never 0:41:30.800 --> 0:41:35.319 dated with herpes. But I assume that I feel like 0:41:35.360 --> 0:41:39.320 that's gotta be rare to find someone like that quickly 0:41:39.800 --> 0:41:41.360 who's cool with it. I feel like you would have 0:41:41.400 --> 0:41:43.120 to go through a lot of people before you found 0:41:43.160 --> 0:41:49.440 the one. So so props to good luck for her. 0:41:49.840 --> 0:41:54.000 That's good luck. I would say, that's a that's some 0:41:54.680 --> 0:41:57.080 that's a four leaf. I'm trying to got out away 0:41:57.120 --> 0:42:02.120 in the sense it's a luck thing, miracle from God. 0:42:02.520 --> 0:42:09.200 That's what I'll end this with. Thank you for sharing. Jessica. Hello, hello, Cole. 0:42:11.040 --> 0:42:12.000 What's going on man? 0:42:13.239 --> 0:42:13.799 How's life? 0:42:13.840 --> 0:42:14.040 Cole? 0:42:16.800 --> 0:42:21.880 Uh? It's a whirlwind man, It's just you know, good days, 0:42:21.920 --> 0:42:22.560 bad days. 0:42:24.400 --> 0:42:27.799 Tell me, tell me. Let's let's get into that. Tell me. 0:42:27.920 --> 0:42:30.319 Let's start with the good days. What are the good days? Like? 0:42:32.640 --> 0:42:37.400 Uh? I like to stay busy. I really like sitting 0:42:37.440 --> 0:42:39.279 around a whole lot, like to be on to go. 0:42:41.440 --> 0:42:44.160 What are you busy with? What do you typically busy doing? 0:42:46.760 --> 0:42:50.560 All right now, I'm just picking up extra shifts, making money, 0:42:50.800 --> 0:42:52.480 trying to distract myself. 0:42:53.719 --> 0:42:56.799 Okay, So on a good day, you're keeping busy and 0:42:56.840 --> 0:43:02.880 you're distracting yourself. Yes, okay, that sounds like a lot. 0:43:02.960 --> 0:43:06.919 That sounds like my good days as well. Is distracting 0:43:07.800 --> 0:43:11.520 myself with things and stuff until you sort of have 0:43:11.600 --> 0:43:15.200 to sit alone with your own whatever. Tell us what's 0:43:15.200 --> 0:43:16.280 going on on the bad days. 0:43:20.800 --> 0:43:26.480 I'm kind of finding myself in the middle of a 0:43:26.480 --> 0:43:30.080 pretty screwed up love triangle, and we're going on a 0:43:30.080 --> 0:43:32.960 little ever seven months now, and things that's kind of 0:43:33.000 --> 0:43:36.280 gotten out of hand a love triangle. 0:43:36.320 --> 0:43:38.560 You say, should I Should I say what's what the 0:43:38.600 --> 0:43:40.200 screener said? Or do you want to tell us in 0:43:40.239 --> 0:43:42.600 your own words about this love triangle? 0:43:44.840 --> 0:43:47.000 You can say what the screener said. I'll get into 0:43:47.000 --> 0:43:47.839 it all. 0:43:47.800 --> 0:43:50.439 Right, well, Cole. It says here twenty five years old 0:43:50.480 --> 0:43:54.840 from Pennsylvania. It says that you're dating a married woman. 0:43:55.160 --> 0:43:56.320 That is that accurate? 0:43:58.360 --> 0:43:59.320 Yep, that's correct. 0:44:00.360 --> 0:44:02.800 It says you started dating her even though you knew 0:44:03.160 --> 0:44:06.480 she was married. Says you don't have any guilt over 0:44:06.480 --> 0:44:11.520 the situation. And it says that your husband know. It 0:44:11.560 --> 0:44:14.799 says that the husband knows about you. I have so 0:44:14.800 --> 0:44:17.240 many questions about every aspect of this, So let's let's 0:44:17.440 --> 0:44:21.040 kind of go one by one. How did you meet 0:44:21.080 --> 0:44:21.600 this person? 0:44:24.120 --> 0:44:27.680 Met her own good old dating app Tinder? I wasn't 0:44:27.680 --> 0:44:31.080 really looking for anything in particular at the time. It 0:44:31.160 --> 0:44:34.279 is just kind of doing me and things just kind 0:44:34.280 --> 0:44:39.280 of happened. And the whole situation was she was actually 0:44:39.320 --> 0:44:44.240 looking for a friend with benefits now strings attached, which 0:44:45.160 --> 0:44:48.759 I went along with. And things were fine for a 0:44:48.800 --> 0:44:53.200 period of time, and then we both kind of developed 0:44:53.200 --> 0:44:56.160 emotions and things evolved pretty fast. 0:44:59.120 --> 0:45:04.759 And at what stage in your sort of courtship did 0:45:04.800 --> 0:45:07.200 she tell you that she was she was married? 0:45:10.360 --> 0:45:13.000 Actually, before we even met, I knew she was married. 0:45:17.320 --> 0:45:18.799 How did you know that? Was it like on her 0:45:18.800 --> 0:45:19.720 profile or something? 0:45:21.760 --> 0:45:21.920 Uh? 0:45:22.040 --> 0:45:26.440 No, Actually, in I believe our first conversation, because we 0:45:26.480 --> 0:45:31.440 talked for quite a while, she actually messaged me first, 0:45:31.600 --> 0:45:34.400 and I got back to her not too long after, 0:45:34.680 --> 0:45:38.279 and we had a pretty long conversation our first talk, 0:45:38.320 --> 0:45:43.920 and she told me that she was married, had two children. 0:45:44.160 --> 0:45:46.279 And at this point in time, she gave me the 0:45:46.280 --> 0:45:50.680 impression that everything was fine and she was happy. But 0:45:50.960 --> 0:45:52.719 as I got to know her a little bit more 0:45:52.880 --> 0:45:56.640 she got to know me, things started to slowly unfold, 0:45:56.680 --> 0:46:01.200 and she eventually revealed how on how she was and 0:46:02.160 --> 0:46:07.040 told me some things that any normal person, in my mind, 0:46:07.200 --> 0:46:10.080 if we're done to them. They probably would have left, 0:46:10.160 --> 0:46:12.280 but she stayed. 0:46:13.200 --> 0:46:20.040 So so she was giving you this portrait of her 0:46:20.120 --> 0:46:26.040 marriage as pretty unhappy, and of her husband it sounds 0:46:26.120 --> 0:46:27.800 treating her poorly. 0:46:29.800 --> 0:46:34.040 Pretty much. I mean, he's there, he's there for the kids, 0:46:35.040 --> 0:46:39.560 but he doesn't really do much. And I do think 0:46:39.600 --> 0:46:42.520 the guy's a narcissist at this point. I've kind of 0:46:42.560 --> 0:46:47.640 gathered enough information. I don't obviously he hasn't been like 0:46:48.160 --> 0:46:52.040 formally diagnosed, but just off of stuff that she's told me, 0:46:52.080 --> 0:46:54.400 there's no doubt in my mind he's a narcissist. I 0:46:54.480 --> 0:46:56.440 think he's totally apathetic. 0:46:58.040 --> 0:47:00.919 And Okay, So to kind of dive to the second point, 0:47:00.960 --> 0:47:04.120 it says that you don't have any guilt over the situation, 0:47:05.640 --> 0:47:09.120 is a lot of that lack of guilt because of 0:47:09.160 --> 0:47:11.399 all the things you know about this guy that she's 0:47:11.440 --> 0:47:16.520 married to, and how they point to him being a narcissist. 0:47:17.920 --> 0:47:21.440 Absolutely, and just knowing how he's treated her over the years. 0:47:21.640 --> 0:47:23.399 I mean, because there's a lot of stuff I could 0:47:23.400 --> 0:47:24.040 get into here. 0:47:24.080 --> 0:47:24.279 Man. 0:47:24.600 --> 0:47:29.319 Basically, the whole reason she was even seeking anybody is 0:47:29.360 --> 0:47:34.719 because they established an open marriage due to him being unfaithful. 0:47:35.040 --> 0:47:38.759 Unfaithful pretty early on in their marriage, actually while she 0:47:38.920 --> 0:47:42.320 was pregnant with their first child, so they kind of 0:47:43.800 --> 0:47:46.040 had a battle going on for a few years. We're 0:47:46.080 --> 0:47:48.919 cheating on each other, and I guess eventually one day 0:47:48.960 --> 0:47:51.759 sat down and said, you know, what are we doing here, 0:47:52.239 --> 0:47:56.160 and they just I guess came to the conclusion they 0:47:56.160 --> 0:48:01.320 should stick it out while having intimate relationships with other people. 0:48:01.920 --> 0:48:05.120 Okay, so back, so back up real quick. So this 0:48:05.200 --> 0:48:11.840 is exact important information. They're they're in an open marriage. Yes, okay, 0:48:11.840 --> 0:48:15.240 this because I mean then then that I wouldn't consider 0:48:15.239 --> 0:48:22.080 that cheating if they have formally, you know, communicated with 0:48:22.160 --> 0:48:24.840 one another that they're going to establish, you know, open 0:48:24.920 --> 0:48:27.600 up their marriage and have intimate relationships with other people. 0:48:28.120 --> 0:48:30.799 You know, if that's you know, the bounds of their 0:48:30.840 --> 0:48:33.879 relationship discussed between the two of them, and then that's 0:48:33.880 --> 0:48:34.600 that's not cheating. 0:48:36.360 --> 0:48:36.560 Yeah. 0:48:36.640 --> 0:48:39.560 Yeah, I wouldn't say she's I don't know, it's debatable 0:48:39.600 --> 0:48:43.640 because I guess their whole agreement was mainly sexual, you know, 0:48:43.800 --> 0:48:48.080 strictly no strings attached, no feelings, which she had done 0:48:48.120 --> 0:48:51.640 for a few years successfully. She was good at not 0:48:51.719 --> 0:48:56.200 really having feelings, but she definitely that's that's which was 0:48:56.239 --> 0:48:58.920 flipped with me and the feelings mutual. 0:48:59.040 --> 0:48:59.959 So now. 0:49:01.120 --> 0:49:03.680 It's a full blown love triangle, like it's not just 0:49:03.800 --> 0:49:06.400 sexual between Kurt and I at this point. 0:49:06.560 --> 0:49:10.040 So listen, I want to get into this. I want 0:49:10.040 --> 0:49:12.520 to get into this last part. I want to get 0:49:12.520 --> 0:49:18.000 into this last part. And this is sort of my 0:49:18.160 --> 0:49:20.160 my questions about this have changed now that idn't know 0:49:20.160 --> 0:49:23.680 that it's an open relationship. Her husband knows about you? 0:49:25.960 --> 0:49:26.280 Yeah? 0:49:26.320 --> 0:49:28.879 Absolutely, have you guys talked at all? 0:49:32.000 --> 0:49:36.280 Uh? I believe two or three times over the phone. 0:49:36.760 --> 0:49:41.520 I have seen him face to face one time, not directly, 0:49:41.640 --> 0:49:44.480 but like I was there. I was actually driving away 0:49:45.560 --> 0:49:50.000 in my car with my quote unquote married girlfriend in 0:49:50.000 --> 0:49:53.319 the car with me, and he wasn't very happy about it. 0:49:53.440 --> 0:49:55.160 He was chasing me down the street. 0:49:56.280 --> 0:49:58.000 He chased you down the street. 0:49:59.600 --> 0:50:02.000 Oh yeah, he was trying to throw hands right out 0:50:02.000 --> 0:50:02.840 in front of his house. 0:50:04.880 --> 0:50:05.040 Hm. 0:50:05.120 --> 0:50:09.759 Hm, why is But but so, if they have an 0:50:09.840 --> 0:50:14.280 open marriage, they've agreed that they can see other people, 0:50:15.320 --> 0:50:17.920 why is he then upset with you? 0:50:20.360 --> 0:50:22.799 I guess because he feels like I'm taking away his 0:50:22.920 --> 0:50:25.960 personal servant. That's my best guess. 0:50:26.360 --> 0:50:26.640 Mmm. 0:50:30.760 --> 0:50:35.600 So how do you feel about about this, this person 0:50:35.760 --> 0:50:37.080 that you're that you're dating. 0:50:39.520 --> 0:50:43.759 Uh, I have really strong, deep feelings for her man. 0:50:43.920 --> 0:50:46.520 I mean, I seriously love her. 0:50:46.560 --> 0:50:46.799 I do. 0:50:47.000 --> 0:50:50.400 It's you know, there's been many times now I've really 0:50:50.440 --> 0:50:54.200 considered leaving just for the sake of my own mental health. 0:50:55.719 --> 0:50:58.360 But it's just something about her Man. We're just drawn 0:50:58.400 --> 0:51:03.080 to each other. So I just can't find that energy, 0:51:03.160 --> 0:51:06.759 that motivation to just walk away. As much as I 0:51:06.840 --> 0:51:09.080 want to, as much as the logical side of my 0:51:09.160 --> 0:51:12.000 brain wants me to do that, the emotional side just 0:51:12.040 --> 0:51:12.640 won't let me. 0:51:14.640 --> 0:51:19.000 So you said just now that you want to walk 0:51:19.000 --> 0:51:21.839 away for the sake of your own mental health. So 0:51:22.520 --> 0:51:26.960 I mean, are you saying that this relationship has been 0:51:27.520 --> 0:51:31.479 detrimental to your mental health? Because I can I can 0:51:31.880 --> 0:51:34.120 definitely ascertain as to why that might be. 0:51:36.239 --> 0:51:38.600 Yeah, I mean a lot of it just comes down 0:51:38.600 --> 0:51:46.160 to jealousy, infusion, uncertainty, you know, just not knowing what's 0:51:46.200 --> 0:51:49.480 going to happen. I mean there have been some developments, 0:51:49.560 --> 0:51:52.560 you know, throughout this seven month ordeal. Neither of them 0:51:52.600 --> 0:51:56.360 are wearing their wedding ring anymore. They don't really sleep 0:51:56.440 --> 0:52:00.600 next to each other like they were, so she might 0:52:00.640 --> 0:52:02.719 be on her way out the door but I mean 0:52:02.800 --> 0:52:05.520 she's been with them, they've been married for twelve years. 0:52:06.200 --> 0:52:09.560 They have two children, ten and five, you know, so 0:52:09.600 --> 0:52:11.520 they have a lot of history together, so I know 0:52:11.640 --> 0:52:15.400 it's hard on her. I know she's like probably holding 0:52:15.440 --> 0:52:17.640 one of the memories and doesn't want to walk away. 0:52:17.680 --> 0:52:19.920 And I understand that, you know. I mean I just 0:52:19.920 --> 0:52:22.120 got out of a two year relationship not long ago 0:52:22.200 --> 0:52:25.319 and that was hard, so I can imagine twelve years 0:52:25.360 --> 0:52:28.400 would be tough. But it's just like this guy's broken 0:52:28.480 --> 0:52:34.560 every cardinal relationship rule and she's stayed, you know. So 0:52:34.680 --> 0:52:37.319 that's probably what's the toughest on my mental health is 0:52:37.480 --> 0:52:43.480 like jealousy, uncertainty, confusion. 0:52:44.680 --> 0:52:47.160 And now the kids. Have you met them before? 0:52:49.680 --> 0:52:52.600 Yeah, I've met them like three times. 0:52:54.120 --> 0:52:57.120 See, that's that is sort of an interesting aspect of 0:52:57.160 --> 0:53:01.719 this because you know, especially when you're like, I feel 0:53:01.719 --> 0:53:03.759 like it's probably different for the ten year old than 0:53:03.760 --> 0:53:07.880 maybe the five year old, because like, I don't I 0:53:08.320 --> 0:53:10.840 don't know, I don't know anything about fucking child psychology. 0:53:10.880 --> 0:53:12.960 I don't know what a ten year old would make 0:53:12.960 --> 0:53:16.399 of this whole situation, But a five year old, it's 0:53:16.480 --> 0:53:19.839 like hard for them to know how to see you. 0:53:21.360 --> 0:53:22.200 Right exactly. 0:53:22.800 --> 0:53:25.600 Do you kind of feel that from them? 0:53:25.880 --> 0:53:29.880 Yeah, Her five year old daughter is she's at that age. 0:53:29.880 --> 0:53:33.400 You know, she's like self aware and she remembers stuff, 0:53:33.440 --> 0:53:37.200 but she's definitely that age where I don't think she'll 0:53:37.239 --> 0:53:40.000 really entirely know what's going on. Her ten year old 0:53:40.040 --> 0:53:44.600 son's actually very smart, really sweet kid, really polite, like 0:53:44.680 --> 0:53:48.239 she's in still great values in these kids already, and 0:53:48.239 --> 0:53:52.800 they're really young, but like with him being so smart, 0:53:54.000 --> 0:53:57.000 I think he definitely has an idea of what's going on. 0:53:57.840 --> 0:54:03.640 So I mean, yeah, perspective, sure. I mean, I guess 0:54:03.680 --> 0:54:05.840 part of me feels bad. I mean me personally. My 0:54:05.880 --> 0:54:08.280 parents split when I was three. They got a divorce 0:54:08.320 --> 0:54:12.080 when I was really young, so it hits kind of 0:54:12.120 --> 0:54:14.279 close to him. But I wasn't as old as they 0:54:14.280 --> 0:54:18.040 are either, so I can't really tell you how that 0:54:18.040 --> 0:54:19.759 would affect them. You know, it was just kind of 0:54:19.760 --> 0:54:21.520 the norm for me because it happened so. 0:54:21.520 --> 0:54:22.120 Early on. 0:54:23.960 --> 0:54:30.760 M And you know, in your I assume because because 0:54:30.760 --> 0:54:33.040 you're telling me that you know you love this woman 0:54:33.080 --> 0:54:36.600 a lot, and that I assume you you see some 0:54:36.800 --> 0:54:39.840 form of a of a future with her, and therefore 0:54:40.000 --> 0:54:43.040 some form of future where you're like in the lives 0:54:44.000 --> 0:54:53.839 of her children. Absolutely, okay from what you've heard. And 0:54:53.880 --> 0:54:56.239 by the way, this kind of this call, it's not 0:54:57.000 --> 0:55:01.920 gonna involve me in any way, shape or form advising 0:55:01.960 --> 0:55:05.480 you on what to do in this situation, because you know, 0:55:05.520 --> 0:55:07.719 I don't really think that, and I don't even get 0:55:07.760 --> 0:55:12.320 the sense that you're wanting that from me. But I 0:55:12.320 --> 0:55:17.320 don't know if I can give that. But anyway, what 0:55:17.400 --> 0:55:19.800 do you sense of the relationship between these children and 0:55:19.840 --> 0:55:20.239 their father? 0:55:25.640 --> 0:55:28.840 From what I've gathered, I mean, he doesn't do anything 0:55:28.920 --> 0:55:32.399 like them, like, he's just there. And she's also said 0:55:32.400 --> 0:55:34.880 that many times he's like a mindless zombie that just 0:55:35.160 --> 0:55:38.200 gets to work and comes home and does nothing like 0:55:38.280 --> 0:55:41.920 she cooks, she cleaned, she takes the kids out like 0:55:42.200 --> 0:55:45.960 she keeps them active. He doesn't really do anything. He's 0:55:46.000 --> 0:55:50.960 not too involved with anyone like her or their kids, 0:55:51.719 --> 0:55:54.000 which is another thing that bothers me. It's like I 0:55:54.040 --> 0:55:57.000 feel like he doesn't parent. He just expects her to 0:55:57.040 --> 0:55:57.640 do everything. 0:55:57.760 --> 0:56:01.759 You know, all right, I know I totally just said 0:56:01.800 --> 0:56:03.719 that I wouldn't give my input on the situation, but 0:56:05.400 --> 0:56:09.719 here are my thoughts. I can really see that you 0:56:09.880 --> 0:56:18.040 have like genuine, pure intentions for all these people, you know, 0:56:18.200 --> 0:56:20.560 for this woman and for her kids, and that you 0:56:20.640 --> 0:56:24.520 truly like care because you're clearly invested. You know, I 0:56:24.560 --> 0:56:26.839 kind of hear it in your voice. You clearly invested 0:56:27.320 --> 0:56:29.279 in the well being of this woman and her kids, 0:56:29.280 --> 0:56:34.360 and you clearly are super empathetic for all the you 0:56:34.400 --> 0:56:36.640 haven't told us about it, and it's I don't know 0:56:36.680 --> 0:56:38.680 if it's yours to tell versus hers to tell, but 0:56:39.560 --> 0:56:41.479 you know all the sort of shit that you've heard 0:56:41.480 --> 0:56:47.440 her husband do to her, and it's great that you 0:56:47.520 --> 0:56:50.080 have that empathy, and it's an important thing to have, 0:56:51.160 --> 0:56:53.360 you know, when you're developing a relationship with a person. 0:56:54.040 --> 0:56:58.239 But the problem, man, is that at the end of 0:56:58.280 --> 0:57:00.520 the day, at the end of the day, when the 0:57:00.560 --> 0:57:05.759 push comes to the shove, uh, there is nothing that 0:57:05.800 --> 0:57:13.600 you can do to influence this woman's relationship with her husband, 0:57:14.440 --> 0:57:20.400 like at like she has to be the one to say, Okay, 0:57:20.520 --> 0:57:24.479 I've had enough of this, I'm leaving. And I don't 0:57:24.520 --> 0:57:28.480 know how dude, I don't know how good it is 0:57:28.520 --> 0:57:33.200 for you to be like biting your nails, watching over 0:57:33.320 --> 0:57:37.360 continuing to get more invested in her life until she 0:57:37.440 --> 0:57:40.880 makes that decision because you can't. You can't make that 0:57:40.960 --> 0:57:42.920 decision for her. She she has to make that decision 0:57:43.200 --> 0:57:45.959 on her own, and you can't just like sit there 0:57:46.000 --> 0:57:50.080 continuing to get more and more and more invested waiting 0:57:50.640 --> 0:57:53.600 for her to leave, even if you're doing all of 0:57:53.640 --> 0:57:58.560 this with like the purest, sweetest intentions. She has to 0:57:58.560 --> 0:58:02.280 pull that trigger, dude, and there's nothing you can really do. 0:58:02.280 --> 0:58:05.200 I mean, you can, like, you know, tell her like, oh, 0:58:05.320 --> 0:58:07.960 he's wrong for you for these reasons and these reasons, 0:58:08.080 --> 0:58:10.440 and you can do all the best you can to 0:58:10.560 --> 0:58:13.960 let her know why you think this guy is a 0:58:14.040 --> 0:58:16.720 narcissist and why he's bad for her, and you can 0:58:16.720 --> 0:58:19.680 do it again from the purest place in your heart. 0:58:19.840 --> 0:58:23.240 But she has to come to all those realizations on 0:58:23.280 --> 0:58:25.080 her own at the end of the day, because you 0:58:25.120 --> 0:58:27.960 can't break them up for her. She has to do 0:58:28.000 --> 0:58:32.040 it on her own. And I hate hearing that you're 0:58:32.600 --> 0:58:39.800 standing by so heavily invested in this situation that you 0:58:39.880 --> 0:58:42.840 just have no fucking control over because she has to 0:58:42.960 --> 0:58:44.160 be the one to break up with him at the 0:58:44.240 --> 0:58:45.960 end of the day. I mean, what do you think 0:58:46.000 --> 0:58:46.360 about that? 0:58:46.480 --> 0:58:50.200 Exactly? No, you're absolutely right, and that's a lot of 0:58:50.200 --> 0:58:54.680 the problem too. I mean, I do have control issues 0:58:54.720 --> 0:58:56.600 to a point, and that's also hard on me, because 0:58:56.600 --> 0:59:00.000 you're right, I absolutely have like no control in this situation. 0:59:00.000 --> 0:59:06.000 There's no control of this say, And what really sucks 0:59:06.120 --> 0:59:09.600 is like, she doesn't want me to leave, you know, 0:59:09.720 --> 0:59:12.960 she wants me to basically be sitting here id to 0:59:13.040 --> 0:59:15.440 leave by because anytime I try and leave, like she 0:59:15.520 --> 0:59:18.600 freaks the fuck out. Like, dude, I don't want me 0:59:18.680 --> 0:59:21.600 to What do you want? You know, you just make 0:59:21.880 --> 0:59:24.120 your mind, make a decision. And to see that now 0:59:24.480 --> 0:59:27.240 she know, she keeps telling she doesn't want to do 0:59:27.280 --> 0:59:29.720 it for me. She doesn't want me to be the reason. 0:59:29.920 --> 0:59:37.240 You know, Dude, again, I really, you know, I really, 0:59:37.280 --> 0:59:40.920 I feel like you're coming at this with nice intentions 0:59:40.920 --> 0:59:43.000 and you really care about this person as a fellow 0:59:43.080 --> 0:59:47.680 human being, and so I can tell why you're reacting 0:59:47.800 --> 0:59:51.680 very strongly to her, like, as you say, freaking out 0:59:52.280 --> 0:59:57.200 when you're talking about leaving. But like, dude, this woman 0:59:57.800 --> 1:00:00.560 I don't know her. You know anything about her relationship 1:00:00.600 --> 1:00:05.800 on anything at all, about her relationship with you, her 1:00:05.840 --> 1:00:08.400 relationship with her kids, her relationship with her husband. But 1:00:08.800 --> 1:00:12.840 we do know that the only the only person that 1:00:12.920 --> 1:00:15.760 can make that decision of leaving her husband is her. 1:00:16.640 --> 1:00:20.720 So like she's either she's either gotta man, she's either 1:00:20.720 --> 1:00:23.280 got to leave her or stick it out. But like 1:00:23.640 --> 1:00:28.480 to to be you know, holding you on the side, 1:00:29.960 --> 1:00:34.240 keeping in. That's not fair to you, man, So you 1:00:34.280 --> 1:00:39.880 know that's not fair to you. You know, yep, And 1:00:40.000 --> 1:00:42.440 maybe maybe maybe I'll be the person to let you 1:00:42.480 --> 1:00:44.920 know that's not fair to you. And kind of because 1:00:44.960 --> 1:00:47.040 you because you just said just now you're telling that 1:00:47.520 --> 1:00:52.480 to her, So you not you're aware that it's not 1:00:52.600 --> 1:00:53.080 fair to you. 1:00:57.000 --> 1:00:59.720 Yeah? Absolutely, so. 1:00:59.840 --> 1:01:01.480 I mean, dude, it's not fair to you. I don't 1:01:01.480 --> 1:01:08.080 think that you know good as as I'll keep saying clearly, 1:01:08.120 --> 1:01:11.240 it sounds to me like you have good intentions, you 1:01:11.280 --> 1:01:16.080 have empathy, you care about people. Fucking Yeah, to go 1:01:16.280 --> 1:01:20.520 use that somewhere where it can be better appreciated. 1:01:22.600 --> 1:01:27.680 Yeah, I hear the Yeah, it's the whole logic versus emotion, man, 1:01:27.680 --> 1:01:30.520 because like I said, my logic absolutely tells me. It's 1:01:30.520 --> 1:01:33.200 the line that I walk every day, you know, and 1:01:33.240 --> 1:01:35.680 a lot of time the emotions prevail. I wish the 1:01:35.720 --> 1:01:38.120 logic would prevail more because if it did, I mean yeah, 1:01:38.160 --> 1:01:42.680 I would have removed myself from a situation probably like 1:01:42.760 --> 1:01:46.280 five months ago, because I mean, the longer we drag. 1:01:46.120 --> 1:01:49.960 This out, it's just it's gonna keep getting everything, just 1:01:50.000 --> 1:01:52.560 keep getting fucking worse. Man, It's just gonna keep getting worse. 1:01:53.840 --> 1:01:56.400 And it has. You know, her and I fight way 1:01:56.440 --> 1:02:01.960 too often over the same thing. We just rehash and 1:02:02.040 --> 1:02:03.760 it's like it's because nothing's changing. 1:02:04.040 --> 1:02:10.640 You know, dude, what's your name? Cole? Cole? Listen. I 1:02:10.840 --> 1:02:12.840 know a gecko man on the internet should never listen 1:02:12.920 --> 1:02:15.480 to anything that a guy in the gecko costume on 1:02:15.560 --> 1:02:21.280 the internet tells you to do, but should really really 1:02:21.360 --> 1:02:26.880 really consider all the aspects of the situation and whether 1:02:26.960 --> 1:02:29.000 or not it makes sense for you to continue to 1:02:29.040 --> 1:02:31.200 be invested in this stuff. I don't even have to 1:02:31.200 --> 1:02:33.400 tell you this stuff. You already know this stuff. You 1:02:33.400 --> 1:02:35.160 already you already know everything about the idiot. 1:02:36.640 --> 1:02:39.200 Sure, absolutely, I just figure you'd tell me I need 1:02:39.240 --> 1:02:42.919 to leave because any sensible, normal person. I've considered going 1:02:42.960 --> 1:02:45.760 to counseling and like laying it all on the table 1:02:45.800 --> 1:02:48.480 for them, but you know, I already figure they're just 1:02:48.480 --> 1:02:51.160 gonna tell me. You know, it's not good for your 1:02:51.200 --> 1:02:52.720 mental health. You should probably leave. 1:02:52.760 --> 1:02:55.000 That's the easy so you so you know it's not 1:02:55.040 --> 1:02:58.760 good for your mental health, you've asked me. Yeah, you're 1:02:58.800 --> 1:03:01.760 like putting You're like having fantasies in your head of 1:03:01.840 --> 1:03:05.680 telling people the situation and them confirming it for you 1:03:05.720 --> 1:03:10.280 to leave. Yeah. You again. I'm trying not to tell 1:03:10.280 --> 1:03:12.240 you what to do, but you have all the evidence 1:03:12.480 --> 1:03:16.720 that it sounds like you need to make your informed decision. 1:03:19.280 --> 1:03:23.680 I would say, I could just be denial emotions, you know, 1:03:24.880 --> 1:03:29.919 sang it's a concert the factor during it like maybe 1:03:29.920 --> 1:03:31.840 she'll leave, but I don't know. 1:03:32.000 --> 1:03:36.920 You know, is there anything else you would like to 1:03:36.960 --> 1:03:38.560 say to the people the computer before we. 1:03:38.520 --> 1:03:44.840 Go, uh, never date a married woman. 1:03:47.400 --> 1:03:52.920 I'd say that that's uh, say that's good advice. Listen, 1:03:52.920 --> 1:03:55.920 if I can hammer in one final point, If I 1:03:55.920 --> 1:03:59.440 can just hammer in a final point before we conclude 1:03:59.440 --> 1:04:02.640 this conversation, it is that again, I've said this three times. 1:04:02.640 --> 1:04:05.880 We'll say the fourth. You're clearly a dude who has 1:04:05.920 --> 1:04:08.920 capacity for empathy for other people, which is great to have. 1:04:09.040 --> 1:04:13.840 That's a nice thing. Go fucking use that in a 1:04:13.920 --> 1:04:18.320 situation that is more welcoming to it than the one 1:04:18.360 --> 1:04:21.720 that you're currently in. That's that's that's the last thing I'll. 1:04:21.600 --> 1:04:26.000 Tell you, all right, that's sair. 1:04:27.760 --> 1:04:30.720 Cole, thank you for talking to a gecko on the phone. 1:04:31.880 --> 1:04:33.560 Yep, no problem. Thanks for having me. 1:04:34.040 --> 1:04:47.360 Take care baby. Thanks cold, cold, cold, cold cool. I 1:04:47.440 --> 1:04:49.000 was gonna I was thinking about what I was going 1:04:49.040 --> 1:04:51.240 to say in my post call monologue. But I don't 1:04:51.280 --> 1:04:54.120 have anything to say that I didn't say during the call. 1:04:56.720 --> 1:05:02.000 I don't know anything about the situation with the the 1:05:02.080 --> 1:05:04.520 here's the thing. Here's by the way, here's another thing. 1:05:05.600 --> 1:05:10.240 Is everything I told Cole, I probably would have told 1:05:10.320 --> 1:05:15.040 him like like, okay, the the factor of whether or 1:05:15.120 --> 1:05:19.240 not the wife's husband is a jerk to her. That's 1:05:19.280 --> 1:05:23.360 that almost doesn't even that doesn't even like matter in 1:05:23.480 --> 1:05:26.560 Cole's decision making, Like it shouldn't even be a factor, 1:05:27.240 --> 1:05:29.760 like like it's it's not what it's not at least 1:05:30.000 --> 1:05:34.240 in my opinion one of the key elements of the situation, 1:05:35.080 --> 1:05:39.480 Because the situation is Cole is invested in a person 1:05:40.520 --> 1:05:44.640 who he is waiting on to uh make a decision 1:05:44.680 --> 1:05:46.280 as to whether or not she wants to be with him, 1:05:47.280 --> 1:05:51.000 and he shouldn't wait on her that whether or not 1:05:51.040 --> 1:05:54.520 the husband is is a good guy to the wife 1:05:54.560 --> 1:05:56.440 that that doesn't even it is not even a factor. 1:05:57.880 --> 1:06:01.520 It's that coal shouldn't be, you know, waiting on someone 1:06:01.560 --> 1:06:03.160 to pull a trigger or not as to whether or 1:06:03.200 --> 1:06:04.720 not he's gonna be with them, if he if he's 1:06:04.760 --> 1:06:08.480 getting that invested in them. So I hope Cole does 1:06:08.520 --> 1:06:14.640 whatever he feels best is to do for him. And 1:06:14.760 --> 1:06:19.400 uh and I am I am very much a got 1:06:19.440 --> 1:06:24.800 go on the computer. The beak goes on the line, 1:06:25.000 --> 1:06:28.480 taking your phone calls every night. The Beak goes do 1:06:28.600 --> 1:06:30.600 what his ride. He's teaching you to loved in the 1:06:30.600 --> 1:06:33.960 mind of your life, but he's not really an expert.