Speaker 1: Hey everyone, It's Jay Sheddy and I'm thrilled to announce
Speaker 1: my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can
Speaker 1: experience on purpose in person. Join me in a city
Speaker 1: near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It
Speaker 1: could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO
Speaker 1: or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth,
Speaker 1: spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences
Speaker 1: for a private Q and a intimate meditation and a
Speaker 1: meet and greet with photos.
Speaker 2: Tickets are on sale now.
Speaker 1: Head to Jaysheddy dop me Forward Slash Tour and get
Speaker 1: yours today. Don't want to go back to the first
Speaker 1: time you ever met.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for one of the grespects you Awena,
Speaker 3: we're watching did here.
Speaker 4: When you're a pop star like she is, in your
Speaker 4: huge entity and people set up all these walls before
Speaker 4: and then the first second you like disarmed everybody.
Speaker 2: By the way, Congratulations on your engagement.
Speaker 1: When you first were meeting and recording together, there was
Speaker 1: a sense of you we protecting yourself. What gave you
Speaker 1: confidence to hope or not.
Speaker 3: What I feel for Benny. It was everything about him
Speaker 3: was honest. He'll tell me anything that he's feeling, and
Speaker 3: it made me feel like I could do the same.
Speaker 4: If we would have met each other when we were younger,
Speaker 4: it would have never worked. We've both grown as individuals
Speaker 4: and met at the perfect time, and I believe life.
Speaker 2: Is like that.
Speaker 3: When Benny looks at me, I don't think he sees
Speaker 3: anything but who I am, and that's very rare to find.
Speaker 3: But when you do, know, it feels right.
Speaker 1: You talk about being best friend so much? Was it
Speaker 1: scary thinking what are we going to lose if this
Speaker 1: gets romantic?
Speaker 4: The Number one health and Wellness podcast, shed Ja Sheddy
Speaker 4: one only.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 1: You know, I love you both. I know we love
Speaker 1: being such a fun like coming together when this when
Speaker 1: you guys called me and said you wanted to do this,
Speaker 1: I was just like, how special is it that we
Speaker 1: first met now seven years ago, and then because of you,
Speaker 1: I got to meet this amazing man and I feel
Speaker 1: like we've kicked off of romance and yeah, and because
Speaker 1: of you, I just feel like we've been spending so
Speaker 1: much time together, and so I'm so grateful to you
Speaker 1: both for trusting me and over the years and the
Speaker 1: fact that you've been on, you've been on and now
Speaker 1: we get both of you.
Speaker 3: It's like, thank you.
Speaker 1: It's so special.
Speaker 3: It's a very safe, cozy place.
Speaker 1: Benny and Selena, welcome back to on Purpose for the
Speaker 1: first time together. I am so grateful to you both.
Speaker 1: It's been a joy getting to know you both over
Speaker 1: the last few years, and I am so happy for
Speaker 1: you both. Thank you. This is just so beautiful and special.
Speaker 1: And because of you, Selena, I got to know Benny
Speaker 1: so much more. And Benny and I've been hanging out,
Speaker 1: we've been meditating, we've been.
Speaker 3: I love that makes you really happy.
Speaker 1: But it's thanks to you. It's thanks to you for
Speaker 1: bringing us together. And I was just saying, as a man,
Speaker 1: it's so hard to make male friendships as you get
Speaker 1: OLDA I.
Speaker 3: Really is that.
Speaker 4: So it's just like when you're an adult, it's like
Speaker 4: I have my people, and it's like, well, I have
Speaker 4: to let a new person in. Like you barely have
Speaker 4: time for your people that you have, so you're like wait,
Speaker 4: in order to get a new person, I have to
Speaker 4: like move another person down the list to slot a
Speaker 4: new person in whoa, because because there's not you know,
Speaker 4: you start to get to an age. It's like Larry
Speaker 4: David always says this. He says, I have friends that
Speaker 4: I'm not even friends with. I've just been friends with
Speaker 4: them for so long. I can't let them go because
Speaker 4: they're already built in. It's like a therapist. They already
Speaker 4: know everything you can't teach a new person.
Speaker 1: He disagrees.
Speaker 3: That's not necessarily that I disagree. I guess I just
Speaker 3: always thought that guys have this immediate like what's up,
Speaker 3: and then they're just like in a flow. So I just,
Speaker 3: I don't know, I found that interesting.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like you get guarded as you get
Speaker 4: older a little bit. Sometimes I wish I weren't as wise,
Speaker 4: because when I'm not wise at all. But I'm saying
Speaker 4: it's like when you listen to something like, for me,
Speaker 4: for music, I listened to things when I was like eighteen,
Speaker 4: and I was like, oh my god, I didn't know
Speaker 4: any of the rules. I wasn't thinking of anything. It
Speaker 4: all comes so easily because you're not confined to like
Speaker 4: this box that you've put yourself in over the years
Speaker 4: and then by the end you're like, oh, you know,
Speaker 4: I'm thirty six, almost thirty seven.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I can't do that.
Speaker 4: And it's like there is some sort of freedom to
Speaker 4: being really young too.
Speaker 1: There definitely is. There, definitely is. But I was saying
Speaker 1: that watching both your love story, and I know you
Speaker 1: were saying silly in two seconds ago, You're like, this
Speaker 1: is such a safe and cozy space to come to.
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that today we get to know your love
Speaker 1: story on a deeper level and we get to access
Speaker 1: really what's in your hearts and minds, because I think
Speaker 1: there's so many interviews and so many things that kind
Speaker 1: of will touch on the surface level of stuff, but
Speaker 1: I hope we can go deeper. So what I want
Speaker 1: to start with is I want to actually rewind, and
Speaker 1: I want to rewind to a place where we don't
Speaker 1: retell the story, but we get to relive your story
Speaker 1: with you. And I think there's a difference because when
Speaker 1: we tell a story, it's like, this is what happened,
Speaker 1: but when we relive it, it's almost like going back
Speaker 1: to who we were when that happens. So I want
Speaker 1: to go back to the first time you ever met,
Speaker 1: and I want to hear about it.
Speaker 3: Well, the funny thing is is we actually it was
Speaker 3: so long ago that we don't.
Speaker 4: Remind we know that her mother put us in a
Speaker 4: meeting together.
Speaker 2: When how old were you six? So she was sixteen.
Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't realize it was that.
Speaker 4: And I'm like four or five years older than you.
Speaker 4: So I was probably twenty twenty one. And her mom
Speaker 4: was trying together into music. And her mom is amazing
Speaker 4: the way she goes from room to room on the show, Yeah,
Speaker 4: gets things to happen, and you know, and somehow she
Speaker 4: got us a meeting together, and we don't remember that.
Speaker 4: And you know, after we had done songs together, there
Speaker 4: was one time where it was probably two thousand and
Speaker 4: sixteen or seventeen or something. I remember when you were
Speaker 4: in a studio like Interscope, Susan, and I remember I
Speaker 4: came in. She doesn't remember it, but I remember I
Speaker 4: came in and I had this talk with you, and
Speaker 4: I remember being like whoa, wow, Like she is really
Speaker 4: like a complex person, like in a good way, and
Speaker 4: I was like, wow, she's she's she's so deep. And
Speaker 4: we had this conversation where I really I was just
Speaker 4: really left by being like, oh, she's deep. And then
Speaker 4: we went and thought nothing more of it. And then
Speaker 4: when we did our song together, I remember leaving not
Speaker 4: feeling roman antic at all. I just remember leaving and
Speaker 4: I was talking, you know, because when you're a pop
Speaker 4: star like she is, and you're a huge entity and
Speaker 4: and and you've done so many things in your life before,
Speaker 4: like people set up all these walls before, so it's
Speaker 4: like you get like, like before I came in, they
Speaker 4: were like, well, you know, this thing's like this, and
Speaker 4: this is like this, and like she might not want
Speaker 4: to do that, and like stuff, and they speak for
Speaker 4: people so much. And then I remember we were so
Speaker 4: me and the director were so nervous, and then the
Speaker 4: first second you like disarmed everybody. And I remember walking
Speaker 4: back and Jake was like, he's like the guy who
Speaker 4: directing with me.
Speaker 2: He's like, it's gonna be so easy.
Speaker 4: What they made it seem like she was this is
Speaker 4: gonna be this crazy thing, and the warmth I felt
Speaker 4: from her in that moment, I remember leaving being like.
Speaker 2: Lastly, it's such a cool girl, she remembers.
Speaker 3: I remember the video part, but it was interesting because yes,
Speaker 3: I don't have a very good but uh, I just
Speaker 3: remember the video shoot. I didn't see anything romantic or
Speaker 3: really felt that. But I had a really good time.
Speaker 3: And that was probably the first time after years of
Speaker 3: doing music together and not together, that was the first
Speaker 3: time I really got to hang out with him and
Speaker 3: it was fun. I had a good time, and that
Speaker 3: was that. And then how it kind of continued was
Speaker 3: I was always cautious because I always wanted to make
Speaker 3: sure that I did protect myself, so to be honest,
Speaker 3: I didn't talk to him very often.
Speaker 2: I thought she hated it.
Speaker 3: Really really, I knew that was going.
Speaker 2: I really did.
Speaker 4: I thought she didn't like. I would see her and
Speaker 4: I'd be like, does she not like me? Like, and
Speaker 4: like we weren't thinking about anything. I was like, wow,
Speaker 4: she really like didn't talk to me. And I was
Speaker 4: like I thought it was being nice, and like my
Speaker 4: friends would be like no, no, And then like there
Speaker 4: was another time I remember and my friends were like, oh, yes,
Speaker 4: it's kind of weird, and I was so far and
Speaker 4: there was like a few times and and I didn't
Speaker 4: know and I was just like, you know, I was like,
Speaker 4: that's okay.
Speaker 3: I thought I was being like polite by not.
Speaker 2: She didn't really engage.
Speaker 3: Basically, we I was working on some music and we
Speaker 3: we went through some of the demos that we had
Speaker 3: in single soon came up, which is ironic because it
Speaker 3: was actually nowhere near where I was in my personal life.
Speaker 3: But Benny happened to do the song.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't even do this song.
Speaker 4: It was like one of my guys, yes, and I
Speaker 4: like came to help out because I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: I want their song to I was like, I don't
Speaker 4: like the way this proctor. Let me just at least
Speaker 4: help them, I said. I was like, well, I'm not
Speaker 4: sure if it'll be okay because I don't know if
Speaker 4: Selina likes me or something. And then John Jannick, the
Speaker 4: you know, the president of Interscope, He was like, well,
Speaker 4: why don't you just go into the session. She usually
Speaker 4: doesn't have people in, but just go in and like
Speaker 4: if there is some something that you feel is weird,
Speaker 4: like try to just smooth it over and talk to
Speaker 4: her and get in. And I said, okay, I'm going
Speaker 4: to go smooth it over. So I went in. It
Speaker 4: was so funny. Right before I came, her engineer told
Speaker 4: me like later that she was like, oh, Benny's coming, and.
Speaker 3: She was like, and here's her reasoning. I'm going to
Speaker 3: defend myself. I get very nervous around the producers watching me, saying,
Speaker 3: of course, it's just a very intimate thing for me.
Speaker 3: I feel like I need to sound a certain way
Speaker 3: or do whatever to make them happy. And when I
Speaker 3: get to record it just me and my engineer and
Speaker 3: maybe someone I trust, I get more out of the experience.
Speaker 3: So I just was thinking, Okay, well, maybe he'll stay
Speaker 3: for ten minutes and we'll just talk for a second.
Speaker 3: And ten minutes turned into like thirty. Then he went
Speaker 3: to the other room and I finished recording, and he
Speaker 3: stayed there and then yeah, this is too long.
Speaker 4: Okay, so here. So from my perspective, here's what happened.
Speaker 4: I get in there and I'm like, I gotta smooth this.
Speaker 2: I love yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't have this with anyone, Like
Speaker 4: I was like, I want us to be chill. And
Speaker 4: obviously ninety nine percent of it was in my head.
Speaker 4: And I come in. We just start talking about life,
Speaker 4: and her A and R is there, one of my
Speaker 4: friends is there. We're just we're talking about life, and
Speaker 4: we start talking about dating, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 4: you know, I went out on this date blah blah blah.
Speaker 4: And then I was talking to her and I said,
Speaker 4: oh my god, I have so many good single guy friends.
Speaker 4: I was like, we have dinners at the house all
Speaker 4: the time. You should come over sometime. And I wasn't
Speaker 4: even thinking about anything, and We're like talking about like
Speaker 4: our ideal date and like this and that. I wanted
Speaker 4: to make sure she did the line right, so I
Speaker 4: was like, oh, I'll stay there to like make sure
Speaker 4: it's good after and then so I did. We left,
Speaker 4: and then yeah, I didn't have her cell phone number
Speaker 4: because she changed her number a bunch, so like I
Speaker 4: like asked someone, I said, hey, give me your cel
Speaker 4: phone number. I want to say like you know thing
Speaker 4: and I wrote. I was like, oh my god, you
Speaker 4: were And during that I when I was with her.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 4: I was like, not only she's like really cool, I
Speaker 4: was like I want I was like I want to
Speaker 4: be like I was like, I want her to be
Speaker 4: like in our friend group, and what couldn't even be thinking.
Speaker 4: I was like, I want her to be in our
Speaker 4: friend group, and I want to make sure this thing
Speaker 4: smoothed out, so the song figures out, goes well and everything.
Speaker 4: So I said, let me just text her thank you
Speaker 4: or whatever. And I was like, you know, you were
Speaker 4: so sweet or something something like that, and then she
Speaker 4: writes back, I guess we just were texting throughout the
Speaker 4: day and she she told me she looked back at
Speaker 4: our message. She said, somehow you started sending like selfies
Speaker 4: where you looked really bad on perfect, like the worst one.
Speaker 3: Yes, which by the way, no girls should really or
Speaker 3: anyone in their mind right mind to someone they would
Speaker 3: have a crush on.
Speaker 1: Do that.
Speaker 3: But we were talking about ugly photos, like because I
Speaker 3: always say I take the worst photos sometimes and he's like, oh,
Speaker 3: you said something, and I sent him the worst pictures
Speaker 3: of me, like since like in bed sick and then
Speaker 3: you know, me at weird photo shoot. Said now, looking
Speaker 3: back on it, I'm I'm just thinking that's these are
Speaker 3: so weird. I don't know why or not yet.
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh you did, okay, so that's I had no idea.
Speaker 4: So I had no idea, and somehow we decide so wait.
Speaker 1: Why did you do that? If you liked Benny, why
Speaker 1: would you send him?
Speaker 3: Well, because I didn't know that it was going to
Speaker 3: be like maybe I thought it was just going to
Speaker 3: be flirting and not really anything else, but I really
Speaker 3: started to to just, I don't know, fall for us.
Speaker 4: So I didn't know any of this now. And then
Speaker 4: we decide we're like we're I forget how it happens.
Speaker 4: We're like, yeah, let's hang out. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: my friend's having a birthday party tomorrow. I was like,
Speaker 4: you just just come along, and I was like just
Speaker 4: thinking friend stuff. And then so she comes to mine,
Speaker 4: and I guess she thought the party was going to
Speaker 4: be at my house, but I was like, oh, in
Speaker 4: my head, I was like, oh, she'll just come over
Speaker 4: and we can just like grab a drink first and
Speaker 4: then go there, like like, not thinking anything of it.
Speaker 4: I was like, we'll just like grab a drink at
Speaker 4: my friend's wine bar, it's on the.
Speaker 2: Way, and then we'll go there.
Speaker 4: You were there and we were sitting together and she
Speaker 4: said something like, well, you know, because it's a date,
Speaker 4: I wore blah blah, and I was like I.
Speaker 3: Was like no, I said, if this was a date,
Speaker 3: I definitely would have dressed like a nicer and he
Speaker 3: just kind of looked at me and I thought we
Speaker 3: were on a date.
Speaker 2: And I was like, we're on a date.
Speaker 4: And then and then we went and then we didn't
Speaker 4: really talk about it.
Speaker 2: Who thought it was She thought it was She thought it.
Speaker 4: Was a date.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, A nice man takes me out for a
Speaker 3: drink crevistare mag it's a date.
Speaker 2: I didn't know, but no one had lost each other
Speaker 2: out yet.
Speaker 4: No, it was like, let's just hang out, like and
Speaker 4: then we go to my friends, we go to this
Speaker 4: Thai restaurant, we go to jit Lada and we're like
Speaker 4: hanging now and there's a bunch of people there and
Speaker 4: then she all of a sudden like leaves, and she
Speaker 4: was like, I got to go to I have a video.
Speaker 2: Shoot really early in the morning.
Speaker 4: And I was like okay, and I was like, but
Speaker 4: I wasn't like because it wasn't a date to me
Speaker 4: or anything. So I was like, okay, cool, and I
Speaker 4: stayed with my friends and stuff. And then she texts
Speaker 4: me after and I remember you being like, that was
Speaker 4: like one of the most fun times I've had in
Speaker 4: a really long time, Selina.
Speaker 1: So you technically asked Benny out on the first official
Speaker 1: day she did. She did like us through it woke
Speaker 1: us through that confidence that that energy began.
Speaker 3: Wasn't in any confidence. That's the scary part. I think
Speaker 3: that's when I recognized that I had some sort of
Speaker 3: feelings for him. Walking to his house or into his
Speaker 3: home to go to his friend's thing, I was very nervous,
Speaker 3: and I'm not normally like that unless it's like an
Speaker 3: event or something where it could be overwhelming. Oh with
Speaker 3: anyone I talked to. I'm able to talk to people,
Speaker 3: and I feel like I'm good at it. But I
Speaker 3: just felt like all these feelings. And then when we
Speaker 3: went out, I was laughing and I didn't feel like
Speaker 3: you wanted anything or there was weird motives. It's it's
Speaker 3: sad that you know people have to think that way,
Speaker 3: but I don't know. I felt this immediate safety, and
Speaker 3: I was very pleased that I don't know, we were friends,
Speaker 3: and then I came.
Speaker 4: The next time we hung out, it was it was
Speaker 4: we just hung out at home and we just like
Speaker 4: we're chilling, and we were playing that game We're not
Speaker 4: really strangers Great, And my friend made that game and
Speaker 4: we were just playing it and we both played it,
Speaker 4: and I was like, Okay, sure, we can play it.
Speaker 4: And we played it and there was like a card
Speaker 4: that said, like take a selfie together, and we like
Speaker 4: took us out.
Speaker 2: She like screwed up.
Speaker 4: We took a selfie and then right after the selfie
Speaker 4: we just kissed and then know that's it and she's
Speaker 4: very private and then and then basically the rest was history.
Speaker 4: And we started hanging out so much, and it just
Speaker 4: like very quickly, I was like, oh my god, my
Speaker 4: whole life.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, this is.
Speaker 4: This is my person, Like I'm going to marry this person.
Speaker 4: This is oh, this is the thing, this is what
Speaker 4: it feels like. It was so different than any of
Speaker 4: those feelings, and I was like, holy shit, I just
Speaker 4: I met my best friend. This is my best friend.
Speaker 4: Nothing gets any better than this. It can't get better.
Speaker 4: There's no this is my This is like better than
Speaker 4: any friend I have that's a guy and I get
Speaker 4: to kiss them like it was like it was insane
Speaker 4: to me.
Speaker 2: So I was like I can't let this go.
Speaker 4: I got And it was so funny because before I
Speaker 4: met her, I with my therapist, I had made a
Speaker 4: list saying like these are all the things I want.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you you want to know it. Okay.
Speaker 4: So before I met her, you know, I was a
Speaker 4: guy and in La trying to find the one for me,
Speaker 4: and I was having some trouble and I and and
Speaker 4: and I think I was like maybe not looking in
Speaker 4: all the right places. And I was like, okay, it's
Speaker 4: time to be a grown up. Like I want to
Speaker 4: like start a life. I want to have a family.
Speaker 4: I want to find a person that like is my
Speaker 4: other half, that makes me feel better and I make
Speaker 4: them feel better, and it's it's a give and take.
Speaker 4: It's the perfect yin and yang. So I wrote down
Speaker 4: the list and the first thing on my list was
Speaker 4: age appropriate. Okay, so that was and it was thirty
Speaker 4: plus okay, so that was number one on my list. Yes,
Speaker 4: not number one, but it was the first thing I wrote.
Speaker 4: And then the second thing I wrote was I said,
Speaker 4: I know these are so simple, but it's so hard
Speaker 4: to come by somebody who's kind, compassionate and caring. I
Speaker 4: was like, that's really three in one, but that was
Speaker 4: my But I was like, I need someone who's like nice,
Speaker 4: and is it like a genuine nice person?
Speaker 1: You said something really important. The reason I'm bringing it
Speaker 1: up is because I feel a lot of women, but
Speaker 1: a lot of people feel this way. And you said
Speaker 1: when you first were meeting and recording together, there was
Speaker 1: a sense of you were protecting yourself. Yes, And I
Speaker 1: think that's a very human thing, and I think it's
Speaker 1: a very normal thing, especially in this day and age,
Speaker 1: especially in your position. To add to it, what was
Speaker 1: it that you know at one point you said, I'm
Speaker 1: going to adopt at thirty five if I don't find
Speaker 1: someone like you had your whole life mapped out when
Speaker 1: you met Benny. But then and you said you were
Speaker 1: protecting yourself, but then you start to open up. Could
Speaker 1: you walk us through what gave you confidence to open up?
Speaker 1: But what that feels like when you're trying to protect yourself,
Speaker 1: because I think that's the push and pull that everyone's
Speaker 1: going through.
Speaker 3: Well, I think, first of all, making plans and trying
Speaker 3: to stick to them is silly because you don't know
Speaker 3: what's going to happen. And I can't believe that I
Speaker 3: get to marry my best friend. So but yes, I
Speaker 3: think for me, I was genuinely set, But it was
Speaker 3: once I let go of me just saying I want
Speaker 3: someone and I wish I had this, and I wish
Speaker 3: I had that. Instead, I changed my mind to I'm
Speaker 3: so lucky that I get to wake up and my
Speaker 3: family is healthy, and I love spending time with my friends,
Speaker 3: and you know what if it doesn't happen, I know
Speaker 3: that I've always wanted to be a mom, and you know,
Speaker 3: so of course I kind of planned that out. I
Speaker 3: think it was because when Benny looks at me, I
Speaker 3: don't think he he sees anything but who I am,
Speaker 3: and that's very rare to find. He knows when I'm
Speaker 3: feeling a certain way and kind of before I can
Speaker 3: even let it get to a place where it's unbearable,
Speaker 3: he has already talked to me through a spiral protecting
Speaker 3: myself on multiple reasons, you know, doing you know, doing music,
Speaker 3: working with someone that's kind of you know, like, oh,
Speaker 3: I don't know if I should do that, but I
Speaker 3: genuinely just watch it just happened. I think when you know,
Speaker 3: and oh, that's so cheesy to say, but when you
Speaker 3: do know, it feels right. And I think that that's
Speaker 3: what happened to me, and I just felt very comfortable
Speaker 3: with him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Denny, how do you feel that you almost sabotaged
Speaker 1: your relationship by nearly introducing Selena to your friends. How
Speaker 1: does that feel like when you're like, hey, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: come and meet my friends. There might be some nice
Speaker 1: guys for you.
Speaker 2: To me, I feel like it all happens for a reason.
Speaker 4: I feel like maybe me doing that is what disarmed
Speaker 4: her enough to like, you know, it's we talked about
Speaker 4: this before, like if we would have met each.
Speaker 2: Other when we were younger, it would have never worked.
Speaker 4: It's like we've both grown as individuals and met at
Speaker 4: the perfect time.
Speaker 2: And I believe life is like that.
Speaker 4: And sometimes it doesn't make sense, and sometimes it's not
Speaker 4: the right reasons, and we're like, why is this happening?
Speaker 4: But I always believe that I you know, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I believe in fate. I believe in all that, and
Speaker 4: I believe, you know, if you're good to people karmically,
Speaker 4: it's going to come back to you ten times over.
Speaker 4: Maybe you might get in that moment someone's going to
Speaker 4: do you really dirty, but over a long period of time,
Speaker 4: I think things are going to go your way.
Speaker 1: Was it scary because you you talk about being best
Speaker 1: friends so much? Was it scary thinking what are we
Speaker 1: going to lose if this gets romantic as friends.
Speaker 2: Nor happened right away. This was all one day.
Speaker 4: That was one day, Like everything really happened within and
Speaker 4: then look there was once we knew that we liked
Speaker 4: each other, there's that part where, like, you know, we're
Speaker 4: both extremely busy people. So it's like it takes a
Speaker 4: second to where you fully prioritize, you know, because it's
Speaker 4: like at first you date someone, you say, okay, i'll
Speaker 4: see you this time once a week, and then it's like, okay.
Speaker 2: This person's getting cool. We'll go twice and it's like, wait,
Speaker 2: don't leave my house. I miss you. Like it all
Speaker 2: happens so quickly.
Speaker 1: One thing that you both did was you had a
Speaker 1: long distance relationship for a while, Like you were in
Speaker 1: different states and managing that you both have crazy work schedules,
Speaker 1: and I was thinking, in your positions, it can get
Speaker 1: very easy to be like all that person's never available,
Speaker 1: they canceled again, like or they've got a million things
Speaker 1: they're running away. I mean, you were just about to
Speaker 1: say you both are starting to travel together right now
Speaker 1: for work as well, But how did you manage that?
Speaker 1: Because I think a lot of our viewers are like,
Speaker 1: do long distance relationships work, and do two busy people
Speaker 1: relationships work? How would you both say you've managed both
Speaker 1: of those parts.
Speaker 3: Biggest thing in the world is trust. I can say
Speaker 3: with all my heart that I trust this person. So
Speaker 3: for me, knowing that I have a twelve to fourteen
Speaker 3: hour day on set, I won't get to talk to
Speaker 3: on a very second, which I don't need, but I
Speaker 3: know just hearing from him one time check in with
Speaker 3: me and say I love you and I hope the
Speaker 3: day is going well. I just feel safe and I've
Speaker 3: never felt that before. And if you feel like you're
Speaker 3: in a situation that doesn't feel like you're a unit,
Speaker 3: that makes it scarier and then that causes friction than
Speaker 3: it causes trust issues. So for me, I would have
Speaker 3: to say communication and trust helps, but it doesn't always work.
Speaker 3: It's hard.
Speaker 2: I feel like.
Speaker 4: At the beginning, there were a few almost almost sabotages
Speaker 4: she didn't like. She was like, that's fair. At the
Speaker 4: very beginning, in like her first few trips away, she
Speaker 4: was still gaining that trust. So there was there were
Speaker 4: moments of sincere doo, no, yeah, yeah, we all have
Speaker 4: that's no, we all have moments in our life because
Speaker 4: like we're only made up.
Speaker 2: I tell everyone this.
Speaker 4: It's like when you when you start dating someone, you're
Speaker 4: not only dating them, you're dating every single person they've
Speaker 4: ever dated, every single relationship they've ever had in their past,
Speaker 4: every because you're getting every piece of baggage that that
Speaker 4: person's carried in that what they've learned through their own
Speaker 4: personal life, through the life with partners, with their parents,
Speaker 4: with this, that, And I had to find a way
Speaker 4: to build that trust with her, not make it feel overbearing,
Speaker 4: and make it feel real and make her actually believe
Speaker 4: it and vice versa, Like I know that she fully tried.
Speaker 4: If I say, hey, I'm just going to do this today,
Speaker 4: there's nowhere in her mind that's thinking that. And if
Speaker 4: for any chance that she I always told her, I said,
Speaker 4: it's okay.
Speaker 2: If you have.
Speaker 4: Moments of doubt in something and a feeling, always talk
Speaker 4: to me and I'll talk you through anything that you
Speaker 4: may have. You know, if you say, hey, I know
Speaker 4: this is a crazy thing. I just had a dream
Speaker 4: and I woke up from this dream and I was upset.
Speaker 4: Sometimes she'll just say like, please tell me I can
Speaker 4: trust you, or please tell me you're not doing anything
Speaker 4: stupid and I say, you can call me anytime you want.
Speaker 4: And I'm aware of her strengths and I'm aware of
Speaker 4: her weaknesses, and what I try to do is surround
Speaker 4: her with a lot of things to help her. So
Speaker 4: if she's away and I have to go to a dinner,
Speaker 4: then a party, then this thing, then that thing, it's
Speaker 4: a simple text in between each things. It says, hey, babe,
Speaker 4: I'm going to this next thing. I'm thinking about you.
Speaker 2: Hey.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: You know where couples where it starts to hit is
Speaker 4: when they miss that text.
Speaker 2: They don't call the person. They wait until the next day.
Speaker 4: Like it's just like, I know what she needs to succeed,
Speaker 4: so I'm gonna help her succeed.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be a dick. I'm not not
Speaker 2: gonna hit her up.
Speaker 4: And she doesn't need a lot. She's like the easiest
Speaker 4: person in the world. But I know, yeah, she wants
Speaker 4: to talk to me before she goes to bed. She
Speaker 4: wants me to say I love you. She wants me
Speaker 4: to text her if I wind up having to stay
Speaker 4: somewhere two hours late, just as simple, take out your.
Speaker 2: Phone and blah blah blah bah bah done. And and
Speaker 2: I know that no.
Speaker 4: I know that stuff really helps, especially when you're long distance,
Speaker 4: because it's natural you're far away from someone. You say,
Speaker 4: I'm not with this person, I'm not as connected to them.
Speaker 4: We're not We're not meant to be far. You're not
Speaker 4: supposed to be long distance with your partner. So to
Speaker 4: be right next to your partner, like it's like, we
Speaker 4: do things in life that we have to do, and
Speaker 4: we both are very focused on our careers and we're
Speaker 4: very driven, and you have to find a way to
Speaker 4: make it work that's comfortable. You have to talk to
Speaker 4: your partner. You have to understand them. I think people's
Speaker 4: biggest problems, especially men, are that we don't listen all
Speaker 4: the time. You got to listen. Just shut them up
Speaker 4: and listen. Listen to what they're saying. A woman is
Speaker 4: going to tell you exactly what she needs. Like when guys, look,
Speaker 4: I don't know what you want, so I don't know
Speaker 4: what she told you already, You're just an idiot. You're
Speaker 4: not listening.
Speaker 2: Just listen.
Speaker 4: A girl is If a girl is getting frustrated with
Speaker 4: you on something, she's definitely told you multiple times and
Speaker 4: you're just not paying attention. So it's like, just listen
Speaker 4: and don't be reactionary, proactively do these things. I don't
Speaker 4: know if you do the same thing, but when you're
Speaker 4: away from your partner, you just try to think of
Speaker 4: little things that's gonna make them feel more comfortable.
Speaker 2: Better, you know.
Speaker 4: I'm I'm on the other hand, I'm like living on
Speaker 4: the moon. So it's like she doesn't have to really
Speaker 4: do anything for me because I'm like, I'm all in.
Speaker 2: On everything with her and.
Speaker 4: Fully trust her in every capacity and my whole life,
Speaker 4: I've always been like this. I trust everyone until they
Speaker 4: give me a reason not too okay, and I trust
Speaker 4: people to be who they are okay, and so far
Speaker 4: I know who she is, so until further notice, that's
Speaker 4: how I'm gonna treat her.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's my thoughts on I love that.
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Speaker 4: I remember there was a time we didn't want this
Speaker 4: to be like a public thing, because unfortunately for Selena,
Speaker 4: her life is always under the spial of being scrutinized
Speaker 4: at every moment and this and that and for good
Speaker 4: for bad. And I remember sitting with her, and we've
Speaker 4: been seeing each other, you know, secretly for months and
Speaker 4: months and months.
Speaker 2: And.
Speaker 4: We were about to go to New York and we
Speaker 4: just made a conscious effort that we were like, we
Speaker 4: don't want to do this anymore. We want to be
Speaker 4: able to go out and have fun and like and
Speaker 4: you know, just live our lives. And at that point
Speaker 4: I knew that it was serious enough to dive in
Speaker 4: like like that. I was like, Okay, I don't care
Speaker 4: what comes with this, because I love this person so
Speaker 4: much already that like we literally said I love you
Speaker 4: on that trip.
Speaker 2: She had already said I love you to me a
Speaker 2: few times. Okay, wait to the album, I said I
Speaker 2: love you fast. Yes.
Speaker 1: So Selena, you said I love you fast.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: She said, what made you want to say that? Because
Speaker 1: that's a big step by.
Speaker 3: I definitely have never been the first.
Speaker 1: So this is the first time in your life you
Speaker 1: were the first.
Speaker 3: Yes. I wanted him to also know how committed I was,
Speaker 3: and deep down I just felt that and I I
Speaker 3: was tired of protecting myself. We had spent enough time
Speaker 3: together where you know, I felt like this was my
Speaker 3: person and I had the courage enough to say it,
Speaker 3: but I was very nervous, and Luckfoy, he said it back.
Speaker 2: Did you say it back the first time?
Speaker 3: Well, there was, ah, okay, well there's been some slipout.
Speaker 2: Well okay, okay.
Speaker 4: She was she has a plate in her hand because
Speaker 4: she she had like an accident and she was like
Speaker 4: coming up from I think.
Speaker 3: That was he's talking about a metal plate.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was had surgery or something.
Speaker 4: She was coming out of anesthesia and and she was
Speaker 4: like sitting there and she was and then I was
Speaker 4: like what and she was like and she's like I
Speaker 4: love you, and I don't remember. I didn't say anything
Speaker 4: back yet because I was like, I can't have this
Speaker 4: be the first time. And then one time she was
Speaker 4: with her friends, they were at dinner and she was like.
Speaker 2: Oh, we really wish you were here.
Speaker 4: We love you, I mean, and then just hung out
Speaker 4: like it literally like and then she started wanting to
Speaker 4: to really say it, and she was like it was
Speaker 4: right when I was going to do it.
Speaker 2: It was the same night and I was like, hey,
Speaker 2: let me get my stuff out.
Speaker 3: And he literally said that, and then I just said and.
Speaker 2: I was like please.
Speaker 4: I was like, please just let me out because I
Speaker 4: had it was like I had felt it and I
Speaker 4: was about to do it, and I was like, I
Speaker 4: want to wait till New York so it's special be
Speaker 4: in my house, like it'll be a good thing. And
Speaker 4: then the day I was doing it, she was like
Speaker 4: she like couldn't take it anymore, and she said it,
Speaker 4: and then we said it. And the thing that's crazy
Speaker 4: is you know, before you say I love you.
Speaker 2: It's like this thing. It's like taboo. You're scared to say.
Speaker 4: And then after you're like, oh my god, I can't,
Speaker 4: Like you want to say it a thousand times in
Speaker 4: a row.
Speaker 2: You never want.
Speaker 4: I can't even understand how I went so long without
Speaker 4: saying it to her. I say it three thousand times
Speaker 4: a day to her, and like I make sure every
Speaker 4: day I say I love you so much, like I
Speaker 4: love you a million times, and then I always tell
Speaker 4: her how beautiful she is and how lucky I am
Speaker 4: to have her every day. You know what, I's so
Speaker 4: annoying like you, and I always want to know, and
Speaker 4: I always want to do that because I want her
Speaker 4: to know that every day I don't take any of
Speaker 4: anything for granted, and I still look at her and
Speaker 4: my breath gets taken away in so many different ways.
Speaker 4: And I said to her last night we were sitting,
Speaker 4: we were in like the pool or something together last
Speaker 4: night and we were just hanging out, and I was
Speaker 4: just like, you're so beautiful. And I don't mean that
Speaker 4: just physically. I'm saying, like you can feel it. There's
Speaker 4: like a ring, like an aura around her that exudes
Speaker 4: just like warmth.
Speaker 3: And it just making me want to cry.
Speaker 1: How do you react in the moment when they hapened, Celina,
Speaker 1: Because Benny, we're basically the same person. I do the
Speaker 1: same thing to my wife. I do it to Roddy
Speaker 1: so Lucky Dye will just pull the funniest face in
Speaker 1: the world. Yeah, I was like, how do you react
Speaker 1: when when Benny's doing all these amazing things, Selina said, Because.
Speaker 3: I say, now, let's be honest, I also am equally grateful,
Speaker 3: and I tell him that all the time. I just
Speaker 3: it makes me feel like it's not real, and I'll
Speaker 3: like sometimes I'll be like, this seems too good to
Speaker 3: be true, Like he's so sweet to me. But now
Speaker 3: I've accepted it, I think I actually love it so
Speaker 3: much that it just makes me want to give him
Speaker 3: that support and that love back. So it's safe to
Speaker 3: say I feel much safe for doing that now, and
Speaker 3: I like it.
Speaker 1: I think so many people feel that when someone's that nice,
Speaker 1: and that's coming from someone who's like that myself with friends, family,
Speaker 1: and obviously with my wife too. A lot of the
Speaker 1: time that's scene as a weakness, like people kind of
Speaker 1: look down on it when someone's that open about their feelings.
Speaker 1: Especially I get asked that a lot. When I'm giving
Speaker 1: relationship with dating advice, people be like, oh no, but
Speaker 1: if I come on too strong, people get turned off.
Speaker 1: What this time was different for you? Where it's like
Speaker 1: he's being really affectionate, he's being really open, but there's
Speaker 1: a part of you that realizes that's what you want
Speaker 1: and that's what you deserve.
Speaker 3: Because the world has become so hard to please. If
Speaker 3: you will, I'm called fake, I'm called it's insincere, it's
Speaker 3: fake all of us. Like it just doesn't feel safe,
Speaker 3: and I don't like being myself sometimes and really that's
Speaker 3: a bigger problem than just talking about it in a relationship,
Speaker 3: because it makes you feel like you have to question
Speaker 3: the way you're acting. And I genuinely, yeah, I have
Speaker 3: really bad days and sometimes I don't have the energy
Speaker 3: to do what I'm doing, but I try ninety nine
Speaker 3: percent of the time to be kind and to just
Speaker 3: be happy, grateful for what I have, and that just
Speaker 3: almost isn't cool anymore. And I hope that that conversation
Speaker 3: can kind of start eventually because it's not it's not good.
Speaker 3: I want to always be that person that I was,
Speaker 3: but it gets harder and harder. What I fell for Benny,
Speaker 3: it was it was everything about him was honest. It
Speaker 3: wasn't just that he was honest with me. He was
Speaker 3: honest about where he was at in life, and he'll
Speaker 3: tell me anything that he's feeling, and it made me
Speaker 3: feel like I could do the same. But he's the
Speaker 3: one person you know, when you're saying those nice things
Speaker 3: to me, babe, it's like so sweet, But I believe
Speaker 3: him to where I'm not going to believe someone who
Speaker 3: is blowing smoke up my but to just make me
Speaker 3: feel good. He's saying it because he means it, and
Speaker 3: I believe it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's beautiful, that honesty that someone has in every
Speaker 1: area of their life, including their bad days, their tough days,
Speaker 1: they're challenging days. Then when they're saying that, whether their
Speaker 1: days good or bad, and they feel that way, it
Speaker 1: resonates with us. I think we all we all sense that.
Speaker 1: And I love what you said. I think it's so
Speaker 1: important that we make it cool again to care for
Speaker 1: people and be cared for, and we make it cool
Speaker 1: again to love people and feel loved, and we make
Speaker 1: it cool again for people to be kind and true kindness.
Speaker 4: I feel like it's like a macho thing, like guys.
Speaker 4: Guys are always trying. It's like, stop trying to be cool.
Speaker 4: Like it's like guys try to be so cool and
Speaker 4: like they don't want. I think it's cool to show
Speaker 4: your emotions. I think it's cool to tell you that
Speaker 4: the person like I call my mom an up and
Speaker 4: I tell her how beautiful she is, too, like, and
Speaker 4: I think it's cool to make people feel good.
Speaker 2: I think it's cool to like, you know.
Speaker 4: I just feel like people like are trying to push
Speaker 4: people down a lot sometimes, like to make themselves feel
Speaker 4: better but you look so much cooler and so much better.
Speaker 2: If you're making other people feel you.
Speaker 3: As looking, you'd feel like a better person.
Speaker 4: I'm saying, though, But it's like, I don't understand why
Speaker 4: people like choose not to do that.
Speaker 3: And it's like, yeah, it's something I'm very passionate about,
Speaker 3: something that I do want to start talking about more.
Speaker 3: I want to be a good example. I'm not the
Speaker 3: perfect person. Lord knows, I've made tons of mistakes and
Speaker 3: continue and will continue to. But I think it's important
Speaker 3: that we talk about that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm really glad you both raised it because I
Speaker 1: think so many of us are actually accepting less than
Speaker 1: we deserve because we want what's cool, not what we deserve.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like me explaining to you right now, I want
Speaker 3: to change my whole approach to anything because of like
Speaker 3: one thing that I did, Like that's said. I don't
Speaker 3: want to have to change who I am, Like that
Speaker 3: was hurtful, for sure.
Speaker 2: I don't never want to do it.
Speaker 4: I don't do any of that, like when some of you,
Speaker 4: I don't care what's going on.
Speaker 3: No, he's great at that, which helps me not care
Speaker 3: as much.
Speaker 4: But I don't care about what anyone says, I don't
Speaker 4: care about comments. I don't care about pras, I don't
Speaker 4: care about anything. I don't care about what anyone says.
Speaker 4: I yeah to try to have you always been that way?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What made you that confident? Because I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people need to hear that.
Speaker 2: Because it's like this, Okay, why are you reading the comments? Okay?
Speaker 2: There's two reasons.
Speaker 4: You're either reading the comment because you want people to
Speaker 4: be like, oh my god, I love you, or you
Speaker 4: want someone to say.
Speaker 2: You piece of shit, You're ugly, you look like shit.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, And it's like and you
Speaker 4: don't need either one of those answers. I'd rather just
Speaker 4: free fall through life and I don't need to know
Speaker 4: any of that stuff. And I've never even read an
Speaker 4: interview back ever that I've ever done. I don't look
Speaker 4: at the pictures like I ask my manager, I say, hey,
Speaker 4: did I say something stupid in the interview? And if
Speaker 4: he says yes, I said, what did I say that
Speaker 4: was stupid? Or I say okay, great if it's something
Speaker 4: like I don't want to know, there's always going to
Speaker 4: be someone trying to bring you down. Hating is free, Okay,
Speaker 4: so people are gonna be hating all over the world'
Speaker 4: and gonna be hating from their bedroom. They're gonna be
Speaker 4: and I just don't even understand it. I've never even
Speaker 4: thought in my mind to like to like go on
Speaker 4: someone's page be like, Jay, that shirt's ugly? Why'd you
Speaker 4: wear that? Those stripes look like shit?
Speaker 3: Jay?
Speaker 2: No, I never even thought about that.
Speaker 4: Like, if anything, I write like, oh my god, I
Speaker 4: love this show Jay, like and I just don't think
Speaker 4: we live in this weird world where people seek validation
Speaker 4: in so many different ways, and I don't think be neat.
Speaker 2: And I know it's hard.
Speaker 4: I know it's hard, and people want it and you
Speaker 4: want to read the comments, you want to look at it,
Speaker 4: but I just don't think I'm gonna gain anything from it.
Speaker 4: In that time I could be looking at those comments,
Speaker 4: I could be hanging out with my friends or like
Speaker 4: going on a walk or eating something delicious.
Speaker 3: Mulier.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think you have that too, And
Speaker 1: it's why you've been so successful in music, Beny yourself,
Speaker 1: because I think you can create original sound because it's
Speaker 1: not trying to be like someone else or impress someone
Speaker 1: else likes. It's partly why you're so good at your craft,
Speaker 1: because to make great music, to invent new sounds, to
Speaker 1: create new genres, to create spaces for artists to play in,
Speaker 1: it requires that confidence in I'm not trying to sound
Speaker 1: like this. I'm not trying to be like this. I'm
Speaker 1: not trying to impress. So it's really interesting too, because
Speaker 1: I feel like when you're growing up your whole life,
Speaker 1: you're told to fit in, and then when you grow
Speaker 1: up you have to stand out. But then when you
Speaker 1: stand out, then everyone has a chance to point fingers
Speaker 1: because when you're doing something differently, that's the only time
Speaker 1: if you kind of follow what everyone else is doing
Speaker 1: normal lever point fingers.
Speaker 2: Do you do you read the comments?
Speaker 1: No, I'm the same as you. But I got really
Speaker 1: good advice early on as well. I remember someone saying
Speaker 1: to me, they said, Jay, you get if you get
Speaker 1: one hundred comments, you're going to look through all of
Speaker 1: them to find the one that's negative.
Speaker 2: Right, That's the way the brains works.
Speaker 1: And then you make it out like that one negative
Speaker 1: comment is an entire comments section. And so if someone said, Jay,
Speaker 1: those stripes are ugly, I'm not walking around my whole
Speaker 1: life thinkingly. And let's get honest, that goes even deeper.
Speaker 1: If someone says something about you. When you were saying,
Speaker 1: like someone called you fake or.
Speaker 3: Something, well, I was basically also going to point out
Speaker 3: that women have it. Not sure, please tell Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: from my perspective. It's it's pretty wild. And I think
Speaker 3: this isn't news to anybody that obviously women have a
Speaker 3: lot more intense feelings from their appearance to you know,
Speaker 3: what they are wearing, to everything. And I'm saying this
Speaker 3: is to me. When I get prepared for an event,
Speaker 3: ninety percent of the time, I'm just like, I just
Speaker 3: hope I can take the picture and sit down. It's
Speaker 3: the character that gets judged. It's the way I'm not
Speaker 3: wide enough, I'm not Mexican enough, I'm I don't know.
Speaker 3: There's just these so many different things is that come
Speaker 3: up in my face that I can't help but see.
Speaker 3: But I fell victim to like looking at that things
Speaker 3: and it really it doesn't add to your life, but
Speaker 3: it's just so difficult from the choices of you know,
Speaker 3: the people you date. It's like nobody cares about those
Speaker 3: kind of things. With men. They're just like, yeah, they
Speaker 3: did that. They said that they you know, they did this,
Speaker 3: and so I think we just carry a lot. Oh yeah,
Speaker 3: my weight's a big one too. Everyone just has something
Speaker 3: to say, and it's really making me sad, and not
Speaker 3: even sad because you know what, No, I'm not a
Speaker 3: victim everyone. I just think it's made me a tad
Speaker 3: bitter and I feel really guilty for saying that, but
Speaker 3: it's true. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's a really interesting time, isn't it, Because and I'm
Speaker 1: so happy that you both talking about this because I
Speaker 1: feel like, on one end, we're all like body positivity,
Speaker 1: let's talk about mental health, let's protect each other, like
Speaker 1: there's this whole conversation, and then on the other side,
Speaker 1: we're like pointing fingers at people about their weight and
Speaker 1: their appearance and whatever else. It is, like you said,
Speaker 1: judgments of characters, especially saying with women, And I find
Speaker 1: that so interesting because I'm like, wait a minute, don't
Speaker 1: we realize that the same people are saying mental health matters. Yeah,
Speaker 1: are the same people that are pointing fingers at people
Speaker 1: that can affect people's mental health.
Speaker 3: I'm just happier that I don't have that. You know.
Speaker 3: I had to stop after a while, and I still
Speaker 3: take breaks completely because I'm human, So of course sometimes
Speaker 3: I read things, but I do most of the time
Speaker 3: ignore most of everything. I don't have anything on my
Speaker 3: phone at the moment, so there are ways to combat it.
Speaker 3: I'm doing it. I'm not in like, I'm not in
Speaker 3: like I hate it. I understand the power of what
Speaker 3: social media is. It's just tricky.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it is very tricky. Thank you guys, Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you for opening up about it, because I can
Speaker 1: imagine it just gets exhausting after a while. It's just, yeah,
Speaker 1: just tired of it, you know, Yeah, because it's all
Speaker 1: the same and you're processing all the same stuff. But
Speaker 1: what about Viseelena, what's been the way that you've been
Speaker 1: able to manage your crazy work schedule, staying committed to
Speaker 1: the relationship, finding time to make memories and makes it I.
Speaker 3: Think you know, I will say it's it's very hard
Speaker 3: for me, and like Benny said in the beginning, it
Speaker 3: was very difficult for me to take trips away. It
Speaker 3: just makes me feel once I understood and got to
Speaker 3: know him, and I wasn't afraid to tell I'm like, hey,
Speaker 3: I just want to make sure like it's not that
Speaker 3: I don't trust you? Can you just text me before you,
Speaker 3: you know, go to your next thing. And I was
Speaker 3: able to do that with him and he wasn't combative,
Speaker 3: he wasn't like why I don't you don't trust me?
Speaker 3: It was just like, yeah, I could totally do that.
Speaker 3: And with that, day by day, I feel more and
Speaker 3: more open and you know, we're going to be separated
Speaker 3: again while I go shoot in New York and yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm ready for it. I think it's it's doable, but
Speaker 3: it's not fun.
Speaker 1: Exactly, it's not fun, but but it found It sounds
Speaker 1: like you found a system that works for you. And
Speaker 1: the system is so simple. Is literally just listening to
Speaker 1: the other person. If the other person says, hey, I
Speaker 1: need this, it's not now like a debate around whether
Speaker 1: they don't trust you. Because I think a lot of
Speaker 1: us if someone said that to you, Benny, like it
Speaker 1: would be easy for your reaction to be like, well,
Speaker 1: how can you not trust me? Like you always know
Speaker 1: where I am? Like how why do I have to
Speaker 1: do this every day? Like you could have that reaction,
Speaker 1: but that reaction doesn't make the relationship better. And I
Speaker 1: think that's where often that goes where someone vulnerably says, hey,
Speaker 1: all I need is this.
Speaker 4: If someone's coming at you with a certain energy, you're
Speaker 4: already going to buck back. Like she always comes in
Speaker 4: a way where she's like, well I didn't like this
Speaker 4: because of this, this and this. I'm like, she just said,
Speaker 4: it's so nice that I have to I'm like no,
Speaker 4: because I'm like, shit, I have to approach this in
Speaker 4: a different way because she came at it with such
Speaker 4: class and effort, so like I'm not going to come
Speaker 4: back at her like that.
Speaker 2: I'm going to come back at her and.
Speaker 4: Say, well I agree with what you're saying, or you know,
Speaker 4: I disagree, and here's why, you know.
Speaker 2: And that's how we talk through everything.
Speaker 4: And then another thing was I really wanted a person
Speaker 4: that when I wake up, I think to myself, I'm like,
Speaker 4: how can I make Selena's day better? Like how what
Speaker 4: can I do in my day to make her day better?
Speaker 4: Because then that makes my day better? And I wanted
Speaker 4: to find a person like that. And I know when
Speaker 4: Selena wakes up, like the first thing she's thinking is like,
Speaker 4: how can I make his day better? And we have
Speaker 4: such a give and take like I could never even
Speaker 4: see a world where I would ever yell at her
Speaker 4: she would ever yell at me. Like we don't argue
Speaker 4: like that, Like I feel like I feel like we
Speaker 4: just have conversations, like there's never an argument. Sometimes she'll
Speaker 4: say this is so funny. Oh boy, no, no, no, She'll
Speaker 4: do this and it's really cool. She'll go, I'm feeling
Speaker 4: a little irritated, and I think I need like twenty
Speaker 4: five minutes. And I'll say okay, and then I give
Speaker 4: her her space. And then after like five minutes she
Speaker 4: texted me. She's like, hey, will you come back? But
Speaker 4: it's knowing that and we have the proper boundaries set
Speaker 4: with each other, Like I don't have to be on
Speaker 4: top of her every second, she doesn't have to be
Speaker 4: on top of me every second we're together. I just
Speaker 4: want to know she's in the house so I can
Speaker 4: say like, hey, I love you and.
Speaker 2: Then go back to what I'm doing.
Speaker 4: You know what I mean, Because look, we're both highly
Speaker 4: independent people. Okay, but we're both little MUSHes who just
Speaker 4: need to be attached.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we are so cheesy. It's so fun.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's like, but I feel like I think
Speaker 4: it helps us too that we're both you know, on
Speaker 4: my list a thing was I wanted someone to be
Speaker 4: driven and inspired by something. I didn't care if they
Speaker 4: made any money or anything. I just wanted someone to
Speaker 4: be so into something that they did every day. And
Speaker 4: when she comes back from her day and she tells
Speaker 4: me what she did, I'm like, I'm not saying they're like, yeah.
Speaker 2: Like when you're talking to your mom.
Speaker 4: You know, when you're talking to your mom and you
Speaker 4: just say your mom just keeps talking, you go yeah,
Speaker 4: uh huh yeah. Like she comes back and like my
Speaker 4: eyes light up because I see the enthusiasm. I see
Speaker 4: what she did, and I'm like it inspires me, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, I gotta do more in this thing. And
Speaker 4: it's like we're in this place where we're inspiring each
Speaker 4: other and we're so inspired by what the other person's doing.
Speaker 4: And and she'll help me out. She'll be like, well,
Speaker 4: what if you did it like this this and this
Speaker 4: and that, And then she'll say something I'll be like, well,
Speaker 4: why don't you handle the situation? Because we have such
Speaker 4: different personalities that are also the same, but we're the
Speaker 4: thing that one of us is really good at, the
Speaker 4: other one maybe lacks a little bit and vice versa.
Speaker 4: And it's so cool to be able to like workshop
Speaker 4: like conversations or how to handle a situation in it.
Speaker 4: And I just feel so comfortable with her like that
Speaker 4: I can say anything and she won't ever say I
Speaker 4: don't know.
Speaker 1: I love the maturity. I mean hearing you both talk
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there, we are not the perfect.
Speaker 2: No, that's not perfect.
Speaker 1: But you're disagreeing, no, no, no, But I think the
Speaker 1: maturity of and I agree with you. I think I
Speaker 1: think that's actually the difference, and I'm glad you brought
Speaker 1: that up. I think there's a big difference between maturity
Speaker 1: and perfection. Perfection is saying we never have a disagreement,
Speaker 1: we never have to take space from each other, which
Speaker 1: you're not saying.
Speaker 2: You're saying, hey, I.
Speaker 1: Just asked for twenty five space, and then I was like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I need to And I think there's
Speaker 1: a maturity in that because it requires maturity from both
Speaker 1: parts for you to first say hey I need space,
Speaker 1: for you to say I get it, I respect you,
Speaker 1: and then for you to have the maturity to say
Speaker 1: actually I want you back, and for you to be
Speaker 1: like not like oh I told you so, for you
Speaker 1: to be like, I'm here for you like that. That's
Speaker 1: not perfection to me, that's maturity. And I think that's
Speaker 1: I really want people to get that from it, that
Speaker 1: you are going to have disagreements, you are going to
Speaker 1: want space like me and Raley went through that. She
Speaker 1: at the beginning of our relationship, if we had a
Speaker 1: disagreement and we were the same, we never we made
Speaker 1: a rule that we would never raise our voices at
Speaker 1: each other because I came from a home where it
Speaker 1: was not great. She comes from a home where her
Speaker 1: parents don't raise their voices. But I was just like,
Speaker 1: I never wanted them in my home. I wanted the
Speaker 1: energy of my home to be so sacred, and I
Speaker 1: wanted the energy of the home to always have a
Speaker 1: space where everyone just walked in and felt like a
Speaker 1: warm hug. And I was like, we can't argue and
Speaker 1: then expect that to happen. But it took a long
Speaker 1: time for us to realize that when she at the
Speaker 1: start of our disagreements, she wanted space. And I used
Speaker 1: to say to her, well, if you don't want to
Speaker 1: talk about it right now, that means you don't care
Speaker 1: about me. And that wasn't true. She just needed space
Speaker 1: to process. So it took time for us to mature,
Speaker 1: for me to realize, wait a minute, you wanting space?
Speaker 1: Is you caring?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: The relationship some people, I get it. They want to
Speaker 4: talk about it right then, they want to The one
Speaker 4: thing that also works for us so much is like
Speaker 4: we're not chill people, but we're like we're not We're
Speaker 4: never gonna get I like, I'm not gonna yell at
Speaker 4: anyone in my life.
Speaker 2: Like yes and yeah.
Speaker 4: And you know, I came from a home where a
Speaker 4: lot of that was happening, and I saw like at
Speaker 4: a young age, and I was just like, well, like
Speaker 4: my parents weren't speaking the same language. Obviously they were
Speaker 4: speaking the actual same language. They weren't speaking the same
Speaker 4: language to each other to communicate. And if someone comes
Speaker 4: at you like hostile right away, the first thing I'm
Speaker 4: gonna do, and I know she's gonna do, is shut down.
Speaker 4: So you're not getting anything, you know. And I always
Speaker 4: say this, Guys are so quick to like they gotta win,
Speaker 4: they gotta win the argument. And it's like what are
Speaker 4: you doing? What are you winning? Like you're gonna argue
Speaker 4: with your wife and like make her cry and then
Speaker 4: you're like I won that argument, and then she hates
Speaker 4: you and resents you like.
Speaker 2: Wait, like, don't be an idiot, and it's like I am.
Speaker 3: I've been guilty though to start, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4: I'm mad of you.
Speaker 3: Sorry. I think for me, I necessarily felt like in
Speaker 3: other situations of mine, I was very reactive. I think
Speaker 3: that's why I was alone for five years, because I
Speaker 3: really needed to collect myself. I think in the past
Speaker 3: that's why I say to him all the time, and
Speaker 3: ten years ago, it's not that I wouldn't have wanted
Speaker 3: to be with you. I just wouldn't have been in
Speaker 3: the right headspace. And I don't think that you deserve
Speaker 3: what I had gone through before. So I've learned a
Speaker 3: lot of lessons and I've made mistakes, and I just
Speaker 3: want this to be right. So for me, that was
Speaker 3: a lesson that I had to learn, because I think
Speaker 3: girls can equally want to be right that for me,
Speaker 3: it was really difficult in the past, and he's made
Speaker 3: it unbelievably easy, to the point where if I even
Speaker 3: get to the point where I'm sough frustrated, he's like
Speaker 3: very quick to understand. I hear you, like you're allowed
Speaker 3: to feel bad, and that helped me shift where my
Speaker 3: mind used to go, which was a little bit of anger.
Speaker 1: So it was the validation of how you felt in
Speaker 1: those reactive moments. Yes, that allowed you to not be reactive?
Speaker 1: What was it that allowed you? Because I feel like,
Speaker 1: as Benny was saying earlier, you carry this baggage from
Speaker 1: all of our relationships into this one.
Speaker 3: I respect Benny because he's done nothing but respect me.
Speaker 3: I again trust him. I can tell him anything, even
Speaker 3: if it's about something that's uncomfortable, and maybe she should
Speaker 3: just talk to your girlfriends like he is that and
Speaker 3: that helps calm me down to say, Okay, so I'm
Speaker 3: going through these things because of maybe what I had
Speaker 3: before or whatever it is. It's nothing is ever bad,
Speaker 3: like nothing in my life. If I regret, and I'm
Speaker 3: so so happy for my journey and I'll continue to
Speaker 3: be it is a lesson that you have to be
Speaker 3: patient and learn. And I just I could never picture
Speaker 3: myself disrespecting him. I think it's also just.
Speaker 4: A different thing because it's like, look, none of us
Speaker 4: are perfect. Like she gets spicy sometimes and when I
Speaker 4: see something happening, it's about guiding the missile, not adding
Speaker 4: a jet pack on top of it with a with
Speaker 4: like machine gun artillery, Like I want to make if
Speaker 4: I see her getting to a place where I'm like, man,
Speaker 4: in five minutes from now, this room could explode. I'm
Speaker 4: never gonna let it get to that five minutes from now.
Speaker 4: I'm going to say, what are all the tools that
Speaker 4: I know that work for her, that I've learned over Like,
Speaker 4: I'm not going to exacerbate a situation. I'm going to
Speaker 4: try to calm it down, because why do I want
Speaker 4: to be in that position where we're both just like
Speaker 4: upset about something. I don't want to just calm it
Speaker 4: down and tell her what she wants to hear. I'm
Speaker 4: not saying that. I'm not saying like to your partner.
Speaker 2: Be like, yes, you're right, You're totally right. Like everything
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 4: I think you listen and you say like okay, Like
Speaker 4: sometimes I even I'll say like, let's not let.
Speaker 2: It get there, let's like just talk about this.
Speaker 4: And I do think physical touch is always like a
Speaker 4: very big way, Like if you're in a conversation with
Speaker 4: your partner, like it's like sometimes just like a hand
Speaker 4: helps or just holding their hand while you're telling them
Speaker 4: or giving them a hug while you're telling them, and
Speaker 4: if someone's upset, let them talk it out first, and
Speaker 4: then after they talk it out, be like, Okay, well
Speaker 4: here's what I think you know, and you can work
Speaker 4: through these things together. It's such an easy way. It's
Speaker 4: not always easy, I can tell you that. And sometimes
Speaker 4: we just someone wants to be frustrated, and it's like,
Speaker 4: sometimes she'll tell me that. She'll just be like, I
Speaker 4: know it's gonna be okay, but like, I just want
Speaker 4: to be frustrated in this moment, and I'll have to
Speaker 4: redirect because I'll be like, you know what, you have
Speaker 4: every right to be in this moment, and she'll say
Speaker 4: this is why she said, this is why I want
Speaker 4: to be frustrated this moment. She said it the other
Speaker 4: day about something I can't even remember, and I was
Speaker 4: just like, oh my god. I was like, yeah, I
Speaker 4: was like, that makes so much sense. I was like,
Speaker 4: I don't agree with the frustration. We'll get there afterwards,
Speaker 4: and I was like, but I get it. I get it,
Speaker 4: and it's so cool and I've never quite had a
Speaker 4: relationship like with her, and we're the furthest thing from
Speaker 4: perfect in the world. We're perfect for each other, We're
Speaker 4: not perfect for everyone else. But I think the thing
Speaker 4: that's cool is that we've had all these experiences. I've
Speaker 4: had all my experiences where it wasn't right, and I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 4: I'm going to change that the next time, you know,
Speaker 4: with this person or with that person. And I think
Speaker 4: that's when you really grow, is when you take all
Speaker 4: your experiences, good or bad.
Speaker 2: Like I'm like her, I take.
Speaker 4: Any experience in my life, my past partners, my family,
Speaker 4: my everything. It's like everything happened for a reason, and
Speaker 4: I'm not going to sit here and mope about like
Speaker 4: things that could be better or different. What I'm gonna
Speaker 4: do is I'm gonna say, Okay, I learned this, and
Speaker 4: now I'm going to put it into practice.
Speaker 1: You know, For me, I always I always said to RADI,
Speaker 1: I always say to my wife, do you want me
Speaker 1: to listen? Do you want me to fix this? Or
Speaker 1: did you just want me to go through it with you?
Speaker 2: Because a lot they don't want you to fix it
Speaker 2: right away.
Speaker 4: And I'm not saying I'm saying men or women, sometimes
Speaker 4: it's not about fixing, you know, everyone is, you know,
Speaker 4: I'm such a problem solver and you are too, so
Speaker 4: it's like your first thing, I know, the first thing
Speaker 4: in your head is like, how can I fix this situation?
Speaker 4: But sometimes it's not about fixing it right there. Sometimes
Speaker 4: it's about just like you know, especially for women who
Speaker 4: are like strong, like both our partners, they don't have
Speaker 4: a lot of time to be vulnerable in all the
Speaker 4: areas of their life. They have the world on their backs.
Speaker 4: Your wife has. There's so many people that rely on her.
Speaker 4: There's so many people that rely on her, So sometimes
Speaker 4: they just want to complain about something and that's okay,
Speaker 4: that's okay, it's okay. Who else are they going to
Speaker 4: do it to? They might as well do it and
Speaker 4: you just listen.
Speaker 1: I have to ask you both about this because I
Speaker 1: was so excited when the news came out and it
Speaker 1: just you know, it was it was so beautiful to
Speaker 1: see it go from where it started this but your
Speaker 1: proposal and now you're engaged and like that just I
Speaker 1: can tell, I mean it just it feels just beautiful
Speaker 1: being in the same space with you both loving on
Speaker 1: each other, which is great. Uh, Selena, what was the proposal?
Speaker 3: Like, like we have a video of it, but I
Speaker 3: want to save that for us and just keep that private.
Speaker 3: But basically, what I will share is that I thought
Speaker 3: we had a shoot that day, and I had hair
Speaker 3: and makeup and I was doing my regular day. I
Speaker 3: get in the car and I'm thinking to myself, where
Speaker 3: are we going, because at this point, I feel like
Speaker 3: I know a lot of the studios that I go to.
Speaker 3: And I just started getting a little frustrated because I
Speaker 3: was like, this seems far right, just me and my
Speaker 3: secure and he's laughing because he's just like, oh, it's
Speaker 3: just you know, I don't know, it's a new space.
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, we get out. I just I
Speaker 3: walk in and all of a sudden, I see no
Speaker 3: one's in the room and I just look at my
Speaker 3: assistant and she just shuts the door, and I was like, uh,
Speaker 3: I like kind of walked on to, you know, the
Speaker 3: area that he had set up, and you know, I
Speaker 3: think you envision all the things that you would do
Speaker 3: and say when someone asks you, but it is actually
Speaker 3: the craziest feeling. It was really special. He said the
Speaker 3: sweetest things. But I also was so shocked that it
Speaker 3: just felt unreal for a long time, and I don't know.
Speaker 3: I've always dreamt of that moment, and he couldn't have
Speaker 3: made it more perfect. And yeah, it was one of
Speaker 3: the best days of my life, for sure.
Speaker 2: I wasn't nervous until one second before. I was so
Speaker 2: not nervous. I was doing work until one second.
Speaker 4: I was approving masters for an album that was coming
Speaker 4: out that night, and then right when it happened, right
Speaker 4: when it was about to happen, I.
Speaker 2: Said, oh shit, what the am I going to say?
Speaker 4: And I'm so good with words usually I can't remember anything.
Speaker 4: If we didn't have a video of it, I wouldn't
Speaker 4: even remember what I said. You know, I had known
Speaker 4: I was going to propose for it for so long,
Speaker 4: and I never cared about marriage. Wasn't a thing in
Speaker 4: my head. She cared about it so much, so I said, well,
Speaker 4: now I care about it because she cares about it.
Speaker 4: And I found myself not even thinking it was going
Speaker 4: to be a big deal till I was there.
Speaker 2: And then I said, holy shit, get married now.
Speaker 4: And in the moments leading up to it, it's not
Speaker 4: really real until it's real. I remember it was so
Speaker 4: special for me because it was special for her. And
Speaker 4: then yeah, she said the two times you said that
Speaker 4: we're the best things in your life?
Speaker 2: Were that? And then I got you what a Burger?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: What's this?
Speaker 3: Whateverger is a restaurant chain that I'm not sure where
Speaker 3: they are, but they're not in California and they're not
Speaker 3: in New York. And I love this chain so much
Speaker 3: because there's a million in Texas where I'm from, and
Speaker 3: I love the biscuits, Texas toast and gravy. It's so
Speaker 3: good and we don't have that. And for Valentine's Day,
Speaker 3: he surprised me, and this was it. This is all
Speaker 3: we really did. I was on the phone and he
Speaker 3: comes in with whataburger? And I literally look at him
Speaker 3: like I'm freaking out. And he had someone apparently they
Speaker 3: opened up in Vegas, and while we were talking, someone
Speaker 3: drove kept it warm and then.
Speaker 2: Nodkeep it warm.
Speaker 4: I so I And what I did was I got
Speaker 4: all the parts to it and talk to the people
Speaker 4: there and figured out how I could reheat it the
Speaker 4: best way. And I was reheating in all different ways,
Speaker 4: putting it together. And then yeah, brought it to her
Speaker 4: because to me, someone like self could have anything in
Speaker 4: the world.
Speaker 2: The best thing you could do.
Speaker 4: She said it right after, she said, right when I
Speaker 4: gave it to her, She said, I can't believe you
Speaker 4: listened and remembered my order and remembered all these things
Speaker 4: in such an easy way, and then you just did it.
Speaker 4: She said, That's what makes this gift so special is
Speaker 4: that you actually like listened to the things and it
Speaker 4: goes such a long way.
Speaker 3: That I did. Say then, my two favorite moments are
Speaker 3: the proposal and my burger. I just think I was
Speaker 3: just so far He's done wonderful things.
Speaker 1: That's brilliant.
Speaker 4: I was just thinking so crazy. Did you know we
Speaker 4: were born within ten minutes from each other?
Speaker 3: Really?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: The day?
Speaker 2: No, no, no place.
Speaker 3: Oh she was born in Texas.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was born right near her, like ten fifteen
Speaker 4: minutes away.
Speaker 1: And you never met in Texas ever that no, he can't.
Speaker 2: I don't claim Texas.
Speaker 4: I was born in Texas, but I grew up in Virginia,
Speaker 4: I claimed, she claims tex.
Speaker 2: Do you remember your proposal?
Speaker 1: Of course I remember my proposal. It was it was
Speaker 1: very I would say I was definitely impacted by lots
Speaker 1: of social media trends, for sure. In my first chapter
Speaker 1: of my second book, which is all about love. I
Speaker 1: talk about how I would redo my proposal because so
Speaker 1: not that I didn't like. It was perfect for the time,
Speaker 1: but it's so wasn't us.
Speaker 2: I'll tell it.
Speaker 1: It's embarrassing, but I'll tell it. I'll tell it. So
Speaker 1: we were walking down one of our favorite walking paths
Speaker 1: on the bank of the Thames in London, and we're
Speaker 1: walking down. I told Radi that we were going to
Speaker 1: a dinner with my family and it was in a
Speaker 1: nice place. So she dressed up and everything, and we
Speaker 1: come out and then this random guy out of nowhere
Speaker 1: walks out with the bouquet flowers in massive one. He
Speaker 1: hands it to her and then I had an a
Speaker 1: cappella group seeing Bruno Mars.
Speaker 2: It was really sweet. They were great.
Speaker 1: They were very talented. And then I got down on
Speaker 1: one knee and then I asked her to marry me,
Speaker 1: and thankfully, I was crying the whole time. Thankfully she
Speaker 1: said yes. But I tell that story to say it
Speaker 1: could have been anyone's proposal.
Speaker 2: And I had.
Speaker 1: Food brought in from her favorite restaurant, but by the
Speaker 1: time I got there it was cold and it was
Speaker 1: I didn't do what you did. Benny sassed up and
Speaker 1: then when we walked around the corner, there was a
Speaker 1: white horse drawn carriage that took us around the city.
Speaker 1: But then when we got so then we were going
Speaker 1: back to her parents on the train to tell her
Speaker 1: parents what had happened, and I told them I was
Speaker 1: proposing that night. But we were going to hers and
Speaker 1: we got to her house and her parents opened the
Speaker 1: door and they looked around and they were like, what
Speaker 1: did he do to you? Because she had hives all
Speaker 1: over her face. Because I didn't know she was allergic
Speaker 1: to your horses, and she didn't know either, And so
Speaker 1: that was the night we figured out that she was
Speaker 1: allergic to And so that story reminded me that I
Speaker 1: didn't know her but I didn't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, we thought, Yeah, I was trying.
Speaker 1: I was trying really hard.
Speaker 2: No, but it's one of that.
Speaker 1: We've been together for twelve years and married for nine,
Speaker 1: so we're doing all right. But I look back on
Speaker 1: it and I look at how much of my life
Speaker 1: was just impacted by the world of love, and now,
Speaker 1: knowing my wife as deeply as I do, I would
Speaker 1: do it completely differently. So I'm trying to convince her
Speaker 1: to renew our vows and our ten years and also
Speaker 1: because our friends have changed, Like we got married nearly
Speaker 1: ten years ago.
Speaker 3: Now we moved your life, Yeah.
Speaker 1: So much has changed, and so I'm like the people
Speaker 1: I want to celebrate my did you even have the podcast? No? No,
Speaker 1: no nothing, no no no, When did you have the podcast?
Speaker 1: Podcast is six years old? Yeah?
Speaker 2: It wasn't she on like your first ever episode?
Speaker 1: She was my first episode? Yeah, my wife's my first episode. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So sweet.
Speaker 2: But yeah, we'll do it again.
Speaker 1: And I think it's great reminder of just how much
Speaker 1: we evolve and mature in relationships and how it's okay
Speaker 1: to look back and go, hey, like, you.
Speaker 3: Know, that's a great story.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a fun story. It's a fun story. But
Speaker 1: but yeah, no, I'm so happy to hear about how
Speaker 1: beautiful this proposal was. You nailed it, Benny, You're the man.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's it's beautiful to hear. And I mean,
Speaker 1: last time we were together, Bennie, youre talking about wedding planning.
Speaker 2: How's that going?
Speaker 3: We have not even begun because I think for right
Speaker 3: now there's just so much going on. I have to
Speaker 3: go and shoot a series for a while, and I
Speaker 3: don't know, we'll just see we're out any rush and
Speaker 3: I'm excited.
Speaker 4: Yes, I don't even care about the next time. No,
Speaker 4: it's no, but like we're honestly, we're so we've been
Speaker 4: doing so much stuff we haven't even gotten to really
Speaker 4: just like so it's like, I think we're looking forward
Speaker 4: to doing that in New York a little bit.
Speaker 1: And what does that look like for both of you?
Speaker 1: Just you two spending time together.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: He's very good at like organizing and planning, and I'm
Speaker 3: very visual, So I'm like, this is what I like,
Speaker 3: and this and this, and then he figures out how to.
Speaker 4: It'll be whatever she's already told me the types of
Speaker 4: things she likes and wants for a wedding.
Speaker 3: It'll be fun.
Speaker 1: I love it. You both obviously got back into the
Speaker 1: studio together recorded an amazing album. I got to listen
Speaker 1: to bits of it. Was it was an interesting process,
Speaker 1: but I'll tell you about that offline, but I got
Speaker 1: to listen to it, and what I loved was I
Speaker 1: was surprised. I thought it was going to be about
Speaker 1: your relationship, but it sounded that it was about a
Speaker 1: history of your life setting and it felt like a
Speaker 1: history of love.
Speaker 3: But the interesting part is it actually has multiple different stories. Yeah,
Speaker 3: some of the songs are actually about, you know, his
Speaker 3: past relationships. So I think that it was really special
Speaker 3: because we were able to talk about those kind of
Speaker 3: emotions and feeling and not a lot of people maybe
Speaker 3: feel that comfortable doing that with a partner, but I
Speaker 3: don't know. We told each other all kinds of things
Speaker 3: like I would if I was in a session with
Speaker 3: someone I trusted, and so yeah, you'd be surprised. I mean,
Speaker 3: of course it's not all about you know, rainbows and sunshine,
Speaker 3: but it's it's real and I and I think these
Speaker 3: are all feelings people have felt before, and that's what
Speaker 3: we really wanted is people to connect to the music,
Speaker 3: whether you know you like it or not. We're just
Speaker 3: stoked that we got to make album that we're proud.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful.
Speaker 4: I feel like the thing that's so cool about it
Speaker 4: is I've been fortunate enough to make a lot of
Speaker 4: songs in my day and people come up to me
Speaker 4: all the time and they say, this song changed my
Speaker 4: life because I would you know, I was going through
Speaker 4: the same thing, and sometimes it is what I wrote about.
Speaker 4: And sometimes they think the meaning is not thing of
Speaker 4: what I wrote about. But that's the best part about
Speaker 4: music that it hits you. It's like music is one
Speaker 4: of the senses. It's like food. It's like like there's
Speaker 4: certain things, certain smells, certain songs. They bring you back
Speaker 4: to a time immediately, Okay, Like you're immediately transported. And
Speaker 4: it's so cool that everybody can be listening to the
Speaker 4: same song and have a completely different relationship with it.
Speaker 2: I feel like that's so cool.
Speaker 1: What was it like going from working together that first
Speaker 1: time to this time? Like, what was different?
Speaker 3: What was different is I never allowed him in the room.
Speaker 2: I can kiss her now.
Speaker 3: And I just I have liked to record a loone.
Speaker 4: What's really different is I feel like we got to
Speaker 4: talk about stuff that you would never talk about as
Speaker 4: an artist if it wasn't with her partner being next
Speaker 4: to her. And honestly, I would take out I would
Speaker 4: just write everything she said. Sometimes you wake up from
Speaker 4: a dream and she's like, I have this terrible dream
Speaker 4: and this is what it was, and blah blah blah.
Speaker 4: I write it down then it becomes a song. Well,
Speaker 4: it was so cool being able to I don't know,
Speaker 4: it was like therapy.
Speaker 1: Well, you were saying to me when we spoke on
Speaker 1: the phone, I think it was last week. You were
Speaker 1: saying that there was just it was like a safe
Speaker 1: space to.
Speaker 2: Be say whatever.
Speaker 4: You could say whatever you want. There's certain things you
Speaker 4: wouldn't be able to say if you were if I was, Hey, babelake,
Speaker 4: I just want that she'd be like with But if somehow,
Speaker 4: like when I'm playing chords while we're saying it, it's.
Speaker 3: Like, oh, okay, a great story.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you can just talk about things and you're
Speaker 4: more open. It's like a therapy session. It's like it's
Speaker 4: a safe place and like it was cool to learn
Speaker 4: things about her that I don't know if I would
Speaker 4: have learned ever or as soon as I did.
Speaker 1: Did he bring you closer making the album? Like what
Speaker 1: was it like being together? Then making an album together and.
Speaker 3: Being absolutely we were able to share things with each
Speaker 3: other and she would listen to my doubts and he
Speaker 3: would give me great notes and it was never criticizing.
Speaker 3: It was always coming from a really mental place. And
Speaker 3: I do I think it absolutely has brought us closer,
Speaker 3: but that's also time and spending it with him.
Speaker 4: It's yeah, also we got to spend so much more
Speaker 4: time together. Yeah, because our workday's got to blend a little.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great excuse to spend time to Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm almos trying to find ways to work more with
Speaker 1: my wife, and I'm just trying to come up with
Speaker 1: a new excuse me.
Speaker 2: I know, that's all I wanted.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's all I would do it too. And
Speaker 1: you had some amazing collapse as well on the album.
Speaker 1: Obviously you've launched the song with Gracie and yeah's amazing.
Speaker 3: Oh my, I'm so happy that she's She was just
Speaker 3: such a doll and so talented. And you've known her
Speaker 3: so I shouldn't say that since she was like thirteen,
Speaker 3: but I love her.
Speaker 2: Did you interview her yet? No?
Speaker 1: No, I haven't. Yeah, you've been a fan for a while.
Speaker 2: I've known her since she was fourteen.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 4: So to see where I put her on an album
Speaker 4: like five years ago, wow, So like to see where she's.
Speaker 2: Gone is so cool.
Speaker 4: And you know, I'm always one who like loves new talent,
Speaker 4: new artist, and she's great, just such a great point
Speaker 4: of view. Her writing comes from such a good place
Speaker 4: and it's like I love people where it feels like
Speaker 4: they're like and seeing it as it too, where it
Speaker 4: feels like they're just kind of talking to you and
Speaker 4: then they're like, oh wait, I'm listening to a song,
Speaker 4: but like what what you know? Yeah, it's just you know,
Speaker 4: making the album with her, I felt like it taught me.
Speaker 4: I was just like, we're really good at communicating with
Speaker 4: each other and saying like and setting boundaries and saying
Speaker 4: when we like something, when we don't like something, yeah.
Speaker 1: How do you do that when you're in a relationship
Speaker 1: You're like, I just don't like the sound of that.
Speaker 1: Like that.
Speaker 3: We're both I think it comes down to ego, and
Speaker 3: we both don't really have that. So if we disagree
Speaker 3: on something, it's like, okay, agree to disgrace, Like that's fine.
Speaker 3: But yeah, of course if I say I don't know
Speaker 3: if I like that, he most of the time doesn't
Speaker 3: even question it and just just really receptive to my Yeah,
Speaker 3: we just don't have an ego, so it doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: He could say no, I don't like it, and I'd
Speaker 3: be like, Okay, that's amazing.
Speaker 2: What are you hoping that?
Speaker 1: Is there a song there that you're really excited for
Speaker 1: fans to hear or anything specific.
Speaker 4: I want people to hear the whole body of work,
Speaker 4: and like I don't really think about music like that.
Speaker 4: I make it for myself and luckily people happen to
Speaker 4: like some of it. And we started this thing in
Speaker 4: our room and we recorded the whole album in the
Speaker 4: house and with.
Speaker 1: Our fact that's so intimate. That's have you ever done
Speaker 1: that before?
Speaker 2: Not like this?
Speaker 4: No, no, And it was like it kind of blurred
Speaker 4: reality a little. It was the most fun I ever had,
Speaker 4: and I just like wanted a piece of music to
Speaker 4: be able to I don't know one day, like show
Speaker 4: our kids and be like look at this, like look
Speaker 4: at this thing mommy and Daddy made, and it was
Speaker 4: like I can't believe it, Like it's so cool to me.
Speaker 4: I don't care what happens with it. I was just
Speaker 4: like so excited to do this with the person I
Speaker 4: love and freeze a moment in time in a way
Speaker 4: that not a lot of people have the ability to do,
Speaker 4: and like we had, we were lucky enough to do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Selena, you mentioned earlier always wanting to be a
Speaker 1: mom and Thenny just mentioned kids. Is that are you
Speaker 1: both like big family, big lots of kids?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I don't know what will happen, obviously,
Speaker 3: but I I love children. I mean I've been an
Speaker 3: eleven year old sister that I absolutely adore and I'm
Speaker 3: still doing wizards this this far along because i love children.
Speaker 3: I love making them laugh. They're just so sweet. So
Speaker 3: absolutely when that day comes, I'm so excited for It's funny.
Speaker 4: We'll be at We'll be at like a gathering or
Speaker 4: a party. And not many people know this, but like
Speaker 4: Selena is like the ultimate level of shy, like the
Speaker 4: ultimate ultimate ultimate level of shy, Like couldn't.
Speaker 3: I don't know a lot of people sometimes I get checked.
Speaker 4: It couldn't be more of like an introvert shy, which
Speaker 4: is crazy because she's the biggest star in the world
Speaker 4: and it's like I'm not when she walks into a
Speaker 4: room to him her main yeah, her main goal is
Speaker 4: to like disappear into the crowd.
Speaker 2: That's like her.
Speaker 4: Her goal is to just like everyone's it's my mom
Speaker 4: is very similar. My mom are very similar, and they're
Speaker 4: you know, they're never gonna there's a crowd of people.
Speaker 4: They're never gonna like be like how like me or
Speaker 4: probably you would do.
Speaker 2: We were like not like we're talking, they're not gonna
Speaker 2: do that.
Speaker 4: They're like wait and say like one thing throughout the
Speaker 4: night that winds up being like the most poignant or
Speaker 4: funny thing of the night, but like I'm gonna have
Speaker 4: diarrhea of the mouth, talk and everyone. And whenever there's
Speaker 4: kids at a place, it's the only time I see
Speaker 4: her do that. She immediately goes to kids and like
Speaker 4: has these conversations for like hours with the kids.
Speaker 2: That's taking care with the kids. And I think it's
Speaker 2: also I think it.
Speaker 4: Probably also has to do with like when you started
Speaker 4: doing this, you were a kid and that was your
Speaker 4: way to connect to people. And I feel like you
Speaker 4: still feel like you have that obligation to connect with
Speaker 4: like young kids because you made some You shaped so
Speaker 4: many young.
Speaker 2: People's lives, whether it was Barney, whether there.
Speaker 4: Was wizards, And I feel like you're still finding your
Speaker 4: way to do that. And it's so crazy just to
Speaker 4: see because she's transcended into so many different categories. It's
Speaker 4: so hard to call her like, you know, a pop star,
Speaker 4: this an actress, so.
Speaker 2: That you know, you don't know what to cars. There's
Speaker 2: so much of a multi hyphen it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you notice it sometimes when we see people,
Speaker 4: because you'll see a little girl come up to her crying.
Speaker 4: Then you'll see her older sister that's like twenty, then
Speaker 4: you'll see the mother, and then the grandmother. So like
Speaker 4: it's like she's hitting all these boxes in people's lives
Speaker 4: and touching so many people. And you know, she's such
Speaker 4: a hermit that she doesn't even realize.
Speaker 2: It all the time.
Speaker 4: And you know, I'm always reminding her of like what
Speaker 4: she's doing and how special it is, and how she's
Speaker 4: always been so you know, outspoken, and we'll always say
Speaker 4: what's on in her mind and is always you know,
Speaker 4: just I just I just feel like she's There's not
Speaker 4: a lot of people who are like just absolutely authentically themselves,
Speaker 4: and like that's what draws me towards her more than
Speaker 4: anything else. She's always going to tell you how she's feeling.
Speaker 4: She's always going to be herself, she's never going to
Speaker 4: try to be somebody else.
Speaker 1: Well said, you know, I, Lovelena, I'm so grateful to
Speaker 1: you both for just opening your hearts.
Speaker 3: Being so with you, only with you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't believe you got her to say some
Speaker 4: of this stuff. She never said, very very she would
Speaker 4: never say any of this.
Speaker 1: Is there anything you didn't say that that you wanted
Speaker 1: to say?
Speaker 3: I actually am thinking. I just I'm just really grateful
Speaker 3: that people like you exist because you you bring so
Speaker 3: much joy to people and also understanding, you know, many
Speaker 3: different ways of life and navigating that, and I think
Speaker 3: you're a great example. So I just would like to
Speaker 3: say thank you. I trust you with that information and
Speaker 3: it's always a pleasure to be with you, So thanks
Speaker 3: for having us.
Speaker 1: You're both You're both just so special. You've always been.
Speaker 1: I've always said, Selena for years that you know no
Speaker 1: matter and those moments where I could tell you were
Speaker 1: shy or wanting to disappear, but always being so gracious
Speaker 1: and kind to me and my wife whenever we were
Speaker 1: together and making us feel comfortable even if you felt uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: And Benny, you know, just the wonderful conversations we've had
Speaker 1: over the last couple of years, and I feel like
Speaker 1: we've done everything. We've talked about so many different things,
Speaker 1: and we are both kind of like that, you know,
Speaker 1: back and forth, back and forth kind of people. But
Speaker 1: you've both done the final five before on the show,
Speaker 1: so we wanted to do something different with you both.
Speaker 1: We wanted to play a little couple's game.
Speaker 4: These, oh, I know exactly.
Speaker 2: They're fun, fun questions.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to take what you just told me
Speaker 1: and turn it right. So we're gonna do where we're
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna ask you questions. You both have to
Speaker 1: write something down and then we'll reveal. So don't look
Speaker 1: at each other's answers. Question number one, if Benny would
Speaker 1: cook you anything in the world, Selena, what would he
Speaker 1: choose to cook for you? So both of you can
Speaker 1: write down. So, Bennie, if you're going to cook anything
Speaker 1: for Selena, what would it be?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Like, what do I think she wants the most?
Speaker 3: A few?
Speaker 2: I think I know what.
Speaker 1: It's a hard question.
Speaker 2: It's a hard I think I know it.
Speaker 1: Three For anyone who doesn't know Bennie is an insane
Speaker 1: connoisseur of.
Speaker 3: Food, I know, Okay.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's going to be the same. That's three.
Speaker 3: That's actually that. That's what I wrote.
Speaker 2: That's what you.
Speaker 3: Oh you did, Yes, but I loved he makes this
Speaker 3: corn depth that I can just eat for breakfast lunch.
Speaker 1: And that's a good thing. That there's more than one thing.
Speaker 1: That's a good thing. Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 1: All right, Selina, if you would cook anything for Benny,
Speaker 1: what would you choose to cook?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: All right, oh my gosh, I do well?
Speaker 2: Is it not what I think you're answer? I think
Speaker 2: you're can say this.
Speaker 3: Because I like I got.
Speaker 1: You got it Benny already?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think so.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, three two one, Okay, there we go, order
Speaker 1: of pizza.
Speaker 2: You're doing good. This is great.
Speaker 1: Okay, this one's this one's a bit more. I'm intrigued
Speaker 1: to see what comes out of this. It's not it's
Speaker 1: not about well you know each other. It's an interesting one.
Speaker 1: If your partner could master any skill instantly, what would
Speaker 1: it be? Selina is very confident. Everyone who's listening and
Speaker 1: not watching. It's like every time I ask a question
Speaker 1: in her pen hits the hits the board immediately. All right,
Speaker 1: what do we have? Three? Two one? Everything gets annoying.
Speaker 1: To be able to sleep through the night.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what you would want, that's what you would want.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I thought it was saying if you could master
Speaker 3: a skill, yes, I'm sorry, he'll put on a video game,
Speaker 3: he will be well, he'll play basketball. He does well,
Speaker 3: he'll do like pro tools, and then he'll do like
Speaker 3: all this stuff.
Speaker 2: I feel like this is the skill she'd want to
Speaker 2: master to be able to sleep through the night. That's
Speaker 2: a real one.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of people are struggling. We've done a
Speaker 1: lot of episodes on sleep because that's a real challenge
Speaker 1: for a lot of people. Yeah, it's hard, especially as
Speaker 1: we get older. You wake up in the middle of
Speaker 1: the night and yeah, not fun. All right, Okay, Uh,
Speaker 1: what's your partner's hidden talent that no one knows about?
Speaker 3: Okay, if I'm gonna I'm gonna take this to Benny's level.
Speaker 2: What's her hitting?
Speaker 3: Not even if I spelled that right.
Speaker 1: That's okay, there's no spell check.
Speaker 2: But what's her.
Speaker 3: Hidden I don't really have one.
Speaker 4: I know there are all two public Oh, I know,
Speaker 4: I know. This is crazy.
Speaker 3: This is funny.
Speaker 1: I'm just loving the honesty, guys. You guys are really
Speaker 1: going there. It's feelful.
Speaker 3: We really like to be honest.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, but it's it's so, it's right, okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: three two one.
Speaker 2: She knows every episode of Friends by heart.
Speaker 4: She knows all of the lines, every line, and you
Speaker 4: could name.
Speaker 3: What episode did this happen? And I could tell you what?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 4: Yeah, whoa, it's crazy. I everyone watched the show one
Speaker 4: time before her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, same as me and Roddy.
Speaker 1: I didn't know. She knows it pretty well, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I need to catch up.
Speaker 2: All right?
Speaker 1: That was good. I like that.
Speaker 2: What's both of you is perfect date night?
Speaker 3: Mmm?
Speaker 2: How real am I allowed to be?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: Just to be like the worst of not wanting to
Speaker 3: do it?
Speaker 1: Old married?
Speaker 2: I love it her idea of a perfect day night.
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, I have so many, but this one's just.
Speaker 1: Benny's planning the date night in his head right now.
Speaker 3: Mine's really simple.
Speaker 2: I never write, it's so weird.
Speaker 3: Texting.
Speaker 1: You both got good handwriting for people who don't write.
Speaker 3: There we're definitely not saying the same. This is going
Speaker 3: to be so nice and romantic, and mine is just.
Speaker 1: You guys literally reminded with me and rather Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: so funny, it's all right.
Speaker 2: Three two one reveal.
Speaker 3: Hot bene, food on.
Speaker 1: A couch, romantic dinner with some small thoughtful gesture than
Speaker 1: something I can't write.
Speaker 2: I was trying. You're right, they're both good dating.
Speaker 1: Now, all right, what is Benny like on a flight,
Speaker 1: because Benny notoriously does not She's never seen have you
Speaker 1: never done?
Speaker 3: He does not fly?
Speaker 2: Oh I thought I thought you told me you must
Speaker 2: have done it once. I thought you'd have done it,
Speaker 2: but not since we've been Wow. Yeah, that's a blank.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I didn't know that. That's that.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you think Benny will be like on
Speaker 1: a flight?
Speaker 3: I don't even know if I want to know, because
Speaker 3: I would be so worried about him.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, was I supposed to write? No?
Speaker 1: No, no, that's fine. No, for sure, it's a real.
Speaker 3: Real I just I think it's a big fear of this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's real. It's real. Makes sense, all right? Okay,
Speaker 1: a couple more. What's something your partner can do to
Speaker 1: make you laugh whenever you're in a mood? So even
Speaker 1: if you're in your worst mood, what can your partner
Speaker 1: do or what does your partner do that will always
Speaker 1: make you laugh?
Speaker 3: Ah?
Speaker 1: So far Bennie and Selena know each other very well.
Speaker 1: This is going really well.
Speaker 3: This is crazy.
Speaker 1: I like the commitment from both of you. Extremely competitive.
Speaker 1: So where Bennie, as you're writing, how did you used
Speaker 1: to get to New York to see Selina.
Speaker 2: Would you drive? What do you mean what you drive
Speaker 2: from here to New York? Yeah? I take the boat
Speaker 2: to Europe.
Speaker 1: Okay, so explain that journey to us.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so long.
Speaker 4: It's like first you have to drive to New York
Speaker 4: and then you get on a boat for eight days
Speaker 4: and you're on the Titanic.
Speaker 1: That is amazing. That is real here all right, two one,
Speaker 1: go for it. Go and read it, Selena.
Speaker 3: It says dance or wrap or say a weird fact
Speaker 3: that has nothing to do with what we're talking about.
Speaker 2: That's what you're gonna That's what you do to make
Speaker 2: her love. That's what I.
Speaker 1: Oh, I did what I do to her to make
Speaker 1: her laugh? Oh no, no, I wanted what the other person.
Speaker 1: That's what you did, Selena, Right, that's what Bennye does. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: Bennie not because you wrapped as well. You're a good rapper.
Speaker 2: I did what I do to make her laugh.
Speaker 4: I said, I huger and then get on to her
Speaker 4: and then I do that little funny laugh.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 1: Okay. So what does Selena do that can make you laugh.
Speaker 2: Whenever she wants?
Speaker 1: She like Selena's proven to be the better listener right now.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, so.
Speaker 1: We get on.
Speaker 2: What do you do that makes me laugh in any mood?
Speaker 1: Like whenever you're in any mood? Like, what can they do?
Speaker 1: Like yeah, like Roddy would burst down to song and
Speaker 1: dance like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think my existence makes you.
Speaker 4: She'll make like a like she does like this like
Speaker 4: little face and where she puts her head down and
Speaker 4: like looks at me and she's like, I can't even
Speaker 4: do it, but she'll do that. That'll make me laugh
Speaker 4: and you'll usually get on top of me and.
Speaker 3: No, but she actually, this is really funny. When I
Speaker 3: try to get somewhat like he did, it's like he
Speaker 3: can't take me seriously, so he'll smile and then I'll
Speaker 3: go from being like that's true.
Speaker 4: Whenever she starts to get like angry, she's like no,
Speaker 4: and I just laughed her because it's so hard to
Speaker 4: take her seriously.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's usually how our fights.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Roddy hates it because whenever she gets angry, I'm like,
Speaker 1: you're so cute.
Speaker 2: I'm not cute.
Speaker 1: I love that. That's okay, all right, what's the one
Speaker 1: thing they can't live without apart from you? So about
Speaker 1: your partner? So, Benny, you're writing about Selena. Selena is
Speaker 1: wranging about you. What's one thing that apart from you?
Speaker 4: This couldn't be easier, guaranteed, What do you mean guaranteed?
Speaker 4: Easiest answer I could have ever thought of. That's the
Speaker 4: best question you could have ever asked me. I'm one
Speaker 4: hundred percent right.
Speaker 3: You can't. Oh, what.
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 2: Three?
Speaker 1: Two one?
Speaker 3: Mom oh, space heater? That's true? Here, Okay, So I
Speaker 3: I have a very weird problem. It's not even a problem.
Speaker 3: It's just a me problem. I'm a very cold person.
Speaker 3: My temperature usually on my space heater is ninety and
Speaker 3: I let it go all over And if I get hot,
Speaker 3: I just opened the door and then close it again.
Speaker 3: It's so backwards, so weird. Hot.
Speaker 1: Everyone everyone's got a different diferent vibe. Trust me, office
Speaker 1: next door. The team's always arguing over what temperature the
Speaker 1: room's at. Some people really hot.
Speaker 3: We have a system.
Speaker 2: She always wants it hot.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Uh, what's something the other person is really competitive about?
Speaker 2: What are you competitive?
Speaker 3: I'm really.
Speaker 2: No, I don't know what she's conte don't take Selena
Speaker 2: is Nott.
Speaker 4: I was going to I was going to say, you
Speaker 4: are about games, but then you don't care anymore, like
Speaker 4: you're competitive for like the first five minutes.
Speaker 3: And no, that's true, and then I'm starting to think
Speaker 3: that's okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like five true.
Speaker 1: I love it all right, So okay, last two questions. Actually,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go for the last one because you
Speaker 1: both are big on this. Have heard from Benny. What's
Speaker 1: the other person's most memorable gift they got you.
Speaker 3: That he's given me?
Speaker 2: Right, So the most memory one she gave me?
Speaker 1: Correct?
Speaker 3: Oh, there's so many, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the one there's no right right after.
Speaker 3: This is just the only one that I can think of.
Speaker 3: But there's so many. Yeah, Oh sorry, No I didn't.
Speaker 3: I just saw like a word.
Speaker 1: I love the commitments. It's amazing. You're the best. That's like,
Speaker 1: all right? Three? Two?
Speaker 3: One?
Speaker 1: Who's gonna all right?
Speaker 3: Talk about it? Oh that was a good.
Speaker 1: One, Okay, explain god?
Speaker 3: This what is a picture from a set of Will
Speaker 3: and Grace. I thought it was extremely thoughtful because that's
Speaker 3: one of my favorite shows, and you can see it
Speaker 3: in the background of almost all the episodes.
Speaker 4: No, no, I got her an actual piece of art
Speaker 4: that's in Willing Grace set. Yeah, I got I knew
Speaker 4: the guy my friend wrote it. And I got her
Speaker 4: for one of her birthday presents. I got her an
Speaker 4: actual painting that's hung up in Willing Grace. And when
Speaker 4: I gave it to her. The day I gave it
Speaker 4: to her, she was watching Willing Grace and it was.
Speaker 2: On the TV.
Speaker 3: It was so cool.
Speaker 4: And that gift and mine's a framed picture of our
Speaker 4: first text where we fell in love, like the first
Speaker 4: one where we decided we were going to go out
Speaker 4: on that date. She framed it and like made this
Speaker 4: like cute. She like made like like did all these designs.
Speaker 3: It's like macaroni and like glitter.
Speaker 2: It was so cute.
Speaker 1: That's a great gift. That was one amazing Selena Bennie,
Speaker 1: you are truly two of the most special people. I'm
Speaker 1: so glad you found each other and I am always
Speaker 1: rooting for you, guys, forever in your corner in every
Speaker 1: possible way. I love you both deeply and know that
Speaker 1: I'm always rooting for your love and sok you so genuinely,
Speaker 1: so grateful for you.
Speaker 3: Do you want me to get you out of these boards.
Speaker 1: Are Come on, I expected a or like a hug
Speaker 1: or some sort of emoji of bye.
Speaker 3: Now I know what I'm good at you for your birthday.
Speaker 3: He's obsessed with the thank you I love it.
Speaker 1: You can take them home, well.
Speaker 3: I love you, thank you for having Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I hope that allowed you to share everything you wanted
Speaker 1: to say.
Speaker 2: I love it easy, we did it. Thanks guys. You
Speaker 2: guys are so fun.
Speaker 1: How was that? If you love this episode, you'll really
Speaker 1: enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner
Speaker 1: critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.
Speaker 3: My fears are only going to continue to show me
Speaker 3: what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears,
Speaker 3: the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom,
Speaker 3: and I just want to keep doing that