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Speaker 1: Hey everyone, It's Jay Sheddy and I'm thrilled to announce

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Speaker 1: my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can

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Speaker 1: experience on purpose in person. Join me in a city

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Speaker 1: near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It

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Speaker 1: could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO

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Speaker 1: or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth,

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Speaker 1: spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to

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Speaker 1: meet you. There are a limited number of VIP experiences

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Speaker 1: for a private Q and a intimate meditation and a

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Speaker 1: meet and greet with photos.

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Speaker 2: Tickets are on sale now.

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Speaker 1: Head to Jaysheddy dop me Forward Slash Tour and get

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Speaker 1: yours today. Don't want to go back to the first

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Speaker 1: time you ever met.

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Speaker 3: Thank you so much for one of the grespects you Awena,

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Speaker 3: we're watching did here.

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Speaker 4: When you're a pop star like she is, in your

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Speaker 4: huge entity and people set up all these walls before

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Speaker 4: and then the first second you like disarmed everybody.

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Speaker 2: By the way, Congratulations on your engagement.

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Speaker 1: When you first were meeting and recording together, there was

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Speaker 1: a sense of you we protecting yourself. What gave you

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Speaker 1: confidence to hope or not.

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Speaker 3: What I feel for Benny. It was everything about him

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Speaker 3: was honest. He'll tell me anything that he's feeling, and

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Speaker 3: it made me feel like I could do the same.

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Speaker 4: If we would have met each other when we were younger,

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Speaker 4: it would have never worked. We've both grown as individuals

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Speaker 4: and met at the perfect time, and I believe life.

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Speaker 2: Is like that.

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Speaker 3: When Benny looks at me, I don't think he sees

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Speaker 3: anything but who I am, and that's very rare to find.

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Speaker 3: But when you do, know, it feels right.

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Speaker 1: You talk about being best friend so much? Was it

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Speaker 1: scary thinking what are we going to lose if this

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Speaker 1: gets romantic?

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Speaker 4: The Number one health and Wellness podcast, shed Ja Sheddy

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Speaker 4: one only.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to be here.

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Speaker 1: You know, I love you both. I know we love

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Speaker 1: being such a fun like coming together when this when

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Speaker 1: you guys called me and said you wanted to do this,

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Speaker 1: I was just like, how special is it that we

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Speaker 1: first met now seven years ago, and then because of you,

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Speaker 1: I got to meet this amazing man and I feel

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Speaker 1: like we've kicked off of romance and yeah, and because

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Speaker 1: of you, I just feel like we've been spending so

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Speaker 1: much time together, and so I'm so grateful to you

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Speaker 1: both for trusting me and over the years and the

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Speaker 1: fact that you've been on, you've been on and now

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Speaker 1: we get both of you.

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Speaker 3: It's like, thank you.

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Speaker 1: It's so special.

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Speaker 3: It's a very safe, cozy place.

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Speaker 1: Benny and Selena, welcome back to on Purpose for the

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Speaker 1: first time together. I am so grateful to you both.

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Speaker 1: It's been a joy getting to know you both over

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Speaker 1: the last few years, and I am so happy for

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Speaker 1: you both. Thank you. This is just so beautiful and special.

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Speaker 1: And because of you, Selena, I got to know Benny

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Speaker 1: so much more. And Benny and I've been hanging out,

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Speaker 1: we've been meditating, we've been.

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Speaker 3: I love that makes you really happy.

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Speaker 1: But it's thanks to you. It's thanks to you for

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Speaker 1: bringing us together. And I was just saying, as a man,

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Speaker 1: it's so hard to make male friendships as you get

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Speaker 1: OLDA I.

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Speaker 3: Really is that.

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Speaker 4: So it's just like when you're an adult, it's like

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Speaker 4: I have my people, and it's like, well, I have

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Speaker 4: to let a new person in. Like you barely have

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Speaker 4: time for your people that you have, so you're like wait,

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Speaker 4: in order to get a new person, I have to

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Speaker 4: like move another person down the list to slot a

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Speaker 4: new person in whoa, because because there's not you know,

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Speaker 4: you start to get to an age. It's like Larry

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Speaker 4: David always says this. He says, I have friends that

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Speaker 4: I'm not even friends with. I've just been friends with

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Speaker 4: them for so long. I can't let them go because

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Speaker 4: they're already built in. It's like a therapist. They already

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Speaker 4: know everything you can't teach a new person.

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Speaker 1: He disagrees.

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Speaker 3: That's not necessarily that I disagree. I guess I just

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Speaker 3: always thought that guys have this immediate like what's up,

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Speaker 3: and then they're just like in a flow. So I just,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, I found that interesting.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like you get guarded as you get

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Speaker 4: older a little bit. Sometimes I wish I weren't as wise,

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Speaker 4: because when I'm not wise at all. But I'm saying

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Speaker 4: it's like when you listen to something like, for me,

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Speaker 4: for music, I listened to things when I was like eighteen,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, oh my god, I didn't know

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Speaker 4: any of the rules. I wasn't thinking of anything. It

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Speaker 4: all comes so easily because you're not confined to like

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Speaker 4: this box that you've put yourself in over the years

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Speaker 4: and then by the end you're like, oh, you know,

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Speaker 4: I'm thirty six, almost thirty seven.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I can't do that.

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Speaker 4: And it's like there is some sort of freedom to

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Speaker 4: being really young too.

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Speaker 1: There definitely is. There, definitely is. But I was saying

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Speaker 1: that watching both your love story, and I know you

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Speaker 1: were saying silly in two seconds ago, You're like, this

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Speaker 1: is such a safe and cozy space to come to.

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Speaker 1: I'm hoping that today we get to know your love

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Speaker 1: story on a deeper level and we get to access

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Speaker 1: really what's in your hearts and minds, because I think

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Speaker 1: there's so many interviews and so many things that kind

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Speaker 1: of will touch on the surface level of stuff, but

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Speaker 1: I hope we can go deeper. So what I want

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Speaker 1: to start with is I want to actually rewind, and

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Speaker 1: I want to rewind to a place where we don't

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Speaker 1: retell the story, but we get to relive your story

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Speaker 1: with you. And I think there's a difference because when

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Speaker 1: we tell a story, it's like, this is what happened,

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Speaker 1: but when we relive it, it's almost like going back

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Speaker 1: to who we were when that happens. So I want

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Speaker 1: to go back to the first time you ever met,

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Speaker 1: and I want to hear about it.

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Speaker 3: Well, the funny thing is is we actually it was

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Speaker 3: so long ago that we don't.

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Speaker 4: Remind we know that her mother put us in a

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Speaker 4: meeting together.

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Speaker 2: When how old were you six? So she was sixteen.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't realize it was that.

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Speaker 4: And I'm like four or five years older than you.

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Speaker 4: So I was probably twenty twenty one. And her mom

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Speaker 4: was trying together into music. And her mom is amazing

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Speaker 4: the way she goes from room to room on the show, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: gets things to happen, and you know, and somehow she

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Speaker 4: got us a meeting together, and we don't remember that.

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Speaker 4: And you know, after we had done songs together, there

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Speaker 4: was one time where it was probably two thousand and

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Speaker 4: sixteen or seventeen or something. I remember when you were

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Speaker 4: in a studio like Interscope, Susan, and I remember I

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Speaker 4: came in. She doesn't remember it, but I remember I

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Speaker 4: came in and I had this talk with you, and

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Speaker 4: I remember being like whoa, wow, Like she is really

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Speaker 4: like a complex person, like in a good way, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, wow, she's she's she's so deep. And

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Speaker 4: we had this conversation where I really I was just

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Speaker 4: really left by being like, oh, she's deep. And then

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Speaker 4: we went and thought nothing more of it. And then

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Speaker 4: when we did our song together, I remember leaving not

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Speaker 4: feeling roman antic at all. I just remember leaving and

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Speaker 4: I was talking, you know, because when you're a pop

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Speaker 4: star like she is, and you're a huge entity and

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Speaker 4: and and you've done so many things in your life before,

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Speaker 4: like people set up all these walls before, so it's

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Speaker 4: like you get like, like before I came in, they

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Speaker 4: were like, well, you know, this thing's like this, and

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Speaker 4: this is like this, and like she might not want

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Speaker 4: to do that, and like stuff, and they speak for

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Speaker 4: people so much. And then I remember we were so

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Speaker 4: me and the director were so nervous, and then the

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Speaker 4: first second you like disarmed everybody. And I remember walking

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Speaker 4: back and Jake was like, he's like the guy who

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Speaker 4: directing with me.

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Speaker 2: He's like, it's gonna be so easy.

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Speaker 4: What they made it seem like she was this is

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Speaker 4: gonna be this crazy thing, and the warmth I felt

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Speaker 4: from her in that moment, I remember leaving being like.

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Speaker 2: Lastly, it's such a cool girl, she remembers.

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Speaker 3: I remember the video part, but it was interesting because yes,

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Speaker 3: I don't have a very good but uh, I just

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Speaker 3: remember the video shoot. I didn't see anything romantic or

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Speaker 3: really felt that. But I had a really good time.

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Speaker 3: And that was probably the first time after years of

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Speaker 3: doing music together and not together, that was the first

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Speaker 3: time I really got to hang out with him and

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Speaker 3: it was fun. I had a good time, and that

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Speaker 3: was that. And then how it kind of continued was

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Speaker 3: I was always cautious because I always wanted to make

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Speaker 3: sure that I did protect myself, so to be honest,

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Speaker 3: I didn't talk to him very often.

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Speaker 2: I thought she hated it.

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Speaker 3: Really really, I knew that was going.

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Speaker 2: I really did.

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Speaker 4: I thought she didn't like. I would see her and

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Speaker 4: I'd be like, does she not like me? Like, and

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Speaker 4: like we weren't thinking about anything. I was like, wow,

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Speaker 4: she really like didn't talk to me. And I was

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Speaker 4: like I thought it was being nice, and like my

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Speaker 4: friends would be like no, no, And then like there

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Speaker 4: was another time I remember and my friends were like, oh, yes,

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Speaker 4: it's kind of weird, and I was so far and

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Speaker 4: there was like a few times and and I didn't

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Speaker 4: know and I was just like, you know, I was like,

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Speaker 4: that's okay.

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Speaker 3: I thought I was being like polite by not.

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Speaker 2: She didn't really engage.

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Speaker 3: Basically, we I was working on some music and we

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Speaker 3: we went through some of the demos that we had

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Speaker 3: in single soon came up, which is ironic because it

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Speaker 3: was actually nowhere near where I was in my personal life.

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Speaker 3: But Benny happened to do the song.

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Speaker 2: No, I didn't even do this song.

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Speaker 4: It was like one of my guys, yes, and I

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Speaker 4: like came to help out because I was like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I want their song to I was like, I don't

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Speaker 4: like the way this proctor. Let me just at least

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Speaker 4: help them, I said. I was like, well, I'm not

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Speaker 4: sure if it'll be okay because I don't know if

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Speaker 4: Selina likes me or something. And then John Jannick, the

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Speaker 4: you know, the president of Interscope, He was like, well,

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Speaker 4: why don't you just go into the session. She usually

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Speaker 4: doesn't have people in, but just go in and like

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Speaker 4: if there is some something that you feel is weird,

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Speaker 4: like try to just smooth it over and talk to

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Speaker 4: her and get in. And I said, okay, I'm going

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Speaker 4: to go smooth it over. So I went in. It

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Speaker 4: was so funny. Right before I came, her engineer told

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Speaker 4: me like later that she was like, oh, Benny's coming, and.

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Speaker 3: She was like, and here's her reasoning. I'm going to

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Speaker 3: defend myself. I get very nervous around the producers watching me, saying,

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Speaker 3: of course, it's just a very intimate thing for me.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I need to sound a certain way

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Speaker 3: or do whatever to make them happy. And when I

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Speaker 3: get to record it just me and my engineer and

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Speaker 3: maybe someone I trust, I get more out of the experience.

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Speaker 3: So I just was thinking, Okay, well, maybe he'll stay

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Speaker 3: for ten minutes and we'll just talk for a second.

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Speaker 3: And ten minutes turned into like thirty. Then he went

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Speaker 3: to the other room and I finished recording, and he

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Speaker 3: stayed there and then yeah, this is too long.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so here. So from my perspective, here's what happened.

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Speaker 4: I get in there and I'm like, I gotta smooth this.

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Speaker 2: I love yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I don't have this with anyone, Like

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Speaker 4: I was like, I want us to be chill. And

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Speaker 4: obviously ninety nine percent of it was in my head.

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Speaker 4: And I come in. We just start talking about life,

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Speaker 4: and her A and R is there, one of my

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Speaker 4: friends is there. We're just we're talking about life, and

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Speaker 4: we start talking about dating, and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: you know, I went out on this date blah blah blah.

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Speaker 4: And then I was talking to her and I said,

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Speaker 4: oh my god, I have so many good single guy friends.

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Speaker 4: I was like, we have dinners at the house all

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Speaker 4: the time. You should come over sometime. And I wasn't

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Speaker 4: even thinking about anything, and We're like talking about like

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Speaker 4: our ideal date and like this and that. I wanted

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Speaker 4: to make sure she did the line right, so I

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Speaker 4: was like, oh, I'll stay there to like make sure

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Speaker 4: it's good after and then so I did. We left,

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Speaker 4: and then yeah, I didn't have her cell phone number

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Speaker 4: because she changed her number a bunch, so like I

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Speaker 4: like asked someone, I said, hey, give me your cel

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Speaker 4: phone number. I want to say like you know thing

250
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Speaker 4: and I wrote. I was like, oh my god, you

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Speaker 4: were And during that I when I was with her.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god.

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Speaker 4: I was like, not only she's like really cool, I

254
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Speaker 4: was like I want I was like I want to

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Speaker 4: be like I was like, I want her to be

256
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Speaker 4: like in our friend group, and what couldn't even be thinking.

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Speaker 4: I was like, I want her to be in our

258
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Speaker 4: friend group, and I want to make sure this thing

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Speaker 4: smoothed out, so the song figures out, goes well and everything.

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Speaker 4: So I said, let me just text her thank you

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Speaker 4: or whatever. And I was like, you know, you were

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Speaker 4: so sweet or something something like that, and then she

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Speaker 4: writes back, I guess we just were texting throughout the

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Speaker 4: day and she she told me she looked back at

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Speaker 4: our message. She said, somehow you started sending like selfies

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Speaker 4: where you looked really bad on perfect, like the worst one.

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Speaker 3: Yes, which by the way, no girls should really or

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Speaker 3: anyone in their mind right mind to someone they would

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Speaker 3: have a crush on.

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Speaker 1: Do that.

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Speaker 3: But we were talking about ugly photos, like because I

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Speaker 3: always say I take the worst photos sometimes and he's like, oh,

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Speaker 3: you said something, and I sent him the worst pictures

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Speaker 3: of me, like since like in bed sick and then

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Speaker 3: you know, me at weird photo shoot. Said now, looking

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Speaker 3: back on it, I'm I'm just thinking that's these are

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Speaker 3: so weird. I don't know why or not yet.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, oh you did, okay, so that's I had no idea.

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Speaker 4: So I had no idea, and somehow we decide so wait.

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Speaker 1: Why did you do that? If you liked Benny, why

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Speaker 1: would you send him?

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Speaker 3: Well, because I didn't know that it was going to

283
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Speaker 3: be like maybe I thought it was just going to

284
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Speaker 3: be flirting and not really anything else, but I really

285
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Speaker 3: started to to just, I don't know, fall for us.

286
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Speaker 4: So I didn't know any of this now. And then

287
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Speaker 4: we decide we're like we're I forget how it happens.

288
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Speaker 4: We're like, yeah, let's hang out. And I was like, oh,

289
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Speaker 4: my friend's having a birthday party tomorrow. I was like,

290
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Speaker 4: you just just come along, and I was like just

291
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Speaker 4: thinking friend stuff. And then so she comes to mine,

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Speaker 4: and I guess she thought the party was going to

293
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Speaker 4: be at my house, but I was like, oh, in

294
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Speaker 4: my head, I was like, oh, she'll just come over

295
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,280
Speaker 4: and we can just like grab a drink first and

296
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Speaker 4: then go there, like like, not thinking anything of it.

297
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Speaker 4: I was like, we'll just like grab a drink at

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Speaker 4: my friend's wine bar, it's on the.

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Speaker 2: Way, and then we'll go there.

300
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Speaker 4: You were there and we were sitting together and she

301
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Speaker 4: said something like, well, you know, because it's a date,

302
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,720
Speaker 4: I wore blah blah, and I was like I.

303
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,600
Speaker 3: Was like no, I said, if this was a date,

304
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:35,640
Speaker 3: I definitely would have dressed like a nicer and he

305
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,040
Speaker 3: just kind of looked at me and I thought we

306
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Speaker 3: were on a date.

307
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Speaker 2: And I was like, we're on a date.

308
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Speaker 4: And then and then we went and then we didn't

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Speaker 4: really talk about it.

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Speaker 2: Who thought it was She thought it was She thought it.

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Speaker 4: Was a date.

312
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,320
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, A nice man takes me out for a

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Speaker 3: drink crevistare mag it's a date.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know, but no one had lost each other

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Speaker 2: out yet.

316
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Speaker 4: No, it was like, let's just hang out, like and

317
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,040
Speaker 4: then we go to my friends, we go to this

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Speaker 4: Thai restaurant, we go to jit Lada and we're like

319
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Speaker 4: hanging now and there's a bunch of people there and

320
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Speaker 4: then she all of a sudden like leaves, and she

321
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Speaker 4: was like, I got to go to I have a video.

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Speaker 2: Shoot really early in the morning.

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Speaker 4: And I was like okay, and I was like, but

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Speaker 4: I wasn't like because it wasn't a date to me

325
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Speaker 4: or anything. So I was like, okay, cool, and I

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Speaker 4: stayed with my friends and stuff. And then she texts

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Speaker 4: me after and I remember you being like, that was

328
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Speaker 4: like one of the most fun times I've had in

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Speaker 4: a really long time, Selina.

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Speaker 1: So you technically asked Benny out on the first official

331
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Speaker 1: day she did. She did like us through it woke

332
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Speaker 1: us through that confidence that that energy began.

333
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Speaker 3: Wasn't in any confidence. That's the scary part. I think

334
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,760
Speaker 3: that's when I recognized that I had some sort of

335
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:40,880
Speaker 3: feelings for him. Walking to his house or into his

336
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:46,560
Speaker 3: home to go to his friend's thing, I was very nervous,

337
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:51,760
Speaker 3: and I'm not normally like that unless it's like an

338
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Speaker 3: event or something where it could be overwhelming. Oh with

339
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 3: anyone I talked to. I'm able to talk to people,

340
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,000
Speaker 3: and I feel like I'm good at it. But I

341
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:07,640
Speaker 3: just felt like all these feelings. And then when we

342
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,840
Speaker 3: went out, I was laughing and I didn't feel like

343
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,920
Speaker 3: you wanted anything or there was weird motives. It's it's

344
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,600
Speaker 3: sad that you know people have to think that way,

345
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:21,720
Speaker 3: but I don't know. I felt this immediate safety, and

346
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:27,080
Speaker 3: I was very pleased that I don't know, we were friends,

347
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,280
Speaker 3: and then I came.

348
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Speaker 4: The next time we hung out, it was it was

349
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,440
Speaker 4: we just hung out at home and we just like

350
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,480
Speaker 4: we're chilling, and we were playing that game We're not

351
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:44,200
Speaker 4: really strangers Great, And my friend made that game and

352
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,960
Speaker 4: we were just playing it and we both played it,

353
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,720
Speaker 4: and I was like, Okay, sure, we can play it.

354
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,880
Speaker 4: And we played it and there was like a card

355
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,840
Speaker 4: that said, like take a selfie together, and we like

356
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:54,520
Speaker 4: took us out.

357
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:55,200
Speaker 2: She like screwed up.

358
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,200
Speaker 4: We took a selfie and then right after the selfie

359
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:01,360
Speaker 4: we just kissed and then know that's it and she's

360
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,119
Speaker 4: very private and then and then basically the rest was history.

361
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:09,359
Speaker 4: And we started hanging out so much, and it just

362
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:14,320
Speaker 4: like very quickly, I was like, oh my god, my

363
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,040
Speaker 4: whole life.

364
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,880
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, this is.

365
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,080
Speaker 4: This is my person, Like I'm going to marry this person.

366
00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 4: This is oh, this is the thing, this is what

367
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,239
Speaker 4: it feels like. It was so different than any of

368
00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:28,040
Speaker 4: those feelings, and I was like, holy shit, I just

369
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,800
Speaker 4: I met my best friend. This is my best friend.

370
00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:34,119
Speaker 4: Nothing gets any better than this. It can't get better.

371
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,320
Speaker 4: There's no this is my This is like better than

372
00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,040
Speaker 4: any friend I have that's a guy and I get

373
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,840
Speaker 4: to kiss them like it was like it was insane

374
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:42,159
Speaker 4: to me.

375
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:43,880
Speaker 2: So I was like I can't let this go.

376
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,679
Speaker 4: I got And it was so funny because before I

377
00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,960
Speaker 4: met her, I with my therapist, I had made a

378
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:54,000
Speaker 4: list saying like these are all the things I want.

379
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,840
Speaker 2: I'm telling you you want to know it. Okay.

380
00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:01,480
Speaker 4: So before I met her, you know, I was a

381
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 4: guy and in La trying to find the one for me,

382
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:10,880
Speaker 4: and I was having some trouble and I and and

383
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:12,920
Speaker 4: and I think I was like maybe not looking in

384
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,639
Speaker 4: all the right places. And I was like, okay, it's

385
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,159
Speaker 4: time to be a grown up. Like I want to

386
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,560
Speaker 4: like start a life. I want to have a family.

387
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,280
Speaker 4: I want to find a person that like is my

388
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,480
Speaker 4: other half, that makes me feel better and I make

389
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,880
Speaker 4: them feel better, and it's it's a give and take.

390
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,400
Speaker 4: It's the perfect yin and yang. So I wrote down

391
00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,320
Speaker 4: the list and the first thing on my list was

392
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:40,000
Speaker 4: age appropriate. Okay, so that was and it was thirty

393
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,760
Speaker 4: plus okay, so that was number one on my list. Yes,

394
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,800
Speaker 4: not number one, but it was the first thing I wrote.

395
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,040
Speaker 4: And then the second thing I wrote was I said,

396
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:49,640
Speaker 4: I know these are so simple, but it's so hard

397
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:55,120
Speaker 4: to come by somebody who's kind, compassionate and caring. I

398
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,199
Speaker 4: was like, that's really three in one, but that was

399
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,439
Speaker 4: my But I was like, I need someone who's like nice,

400
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:02,600
Speaker 4: and is it like a genuine nice person?

401
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,760
Speaker 1: You said something really important. The reason I'm bringing it

402
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,159
Speaker 1: up is because I feel a lot of women, but

403
00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:09,040
Speaker 1: a lot of people feel this way. And you said

404
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:13,119
Speaker 1: when you first were meeting and recording together, there was

405
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:15,600
Speaker 1: a sense of you were protecting yourself. Yes, And I

406
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,840
Speaker 1: think that's a very human thing, and I think it's

407
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,840
Speaker 1: a very normal thing, especially in this day and age,

408
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:24,240
Speaker 1: especially in your position. To add to it, what was

409
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:27,320
Speaker 1: it that you know at one point you said, I'm

410
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,680
Speaker 1: going to adopt at thirty five if I don't find

411
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,920
Speaker 1: someone like you had your whole life mapped out when

412
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,679
Speaker 1: you met Benny. But then and you said you were

413
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,000
Speaker 1: protecting yourself, but then you start to open up. Could

414
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 1: you walk us through what gave you confidence to open up?

415
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,320
Speaker 1: But what that feels like when you're trying to protect yourself,

416
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,119
Speaker 1: because I think that's the push and pull that everyone's

417
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 1: going through.

418
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 3: Well, I think, first of all, making plans and trying

419
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 3: to stick to them is silly because you don't know

420
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 3: what's going to happen. And I can't believe that I

421
00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 3: get to marry my best friend. So but yes, I

422
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:05,919
Speaker 3: think for me, I was genuinely set, But it was

423
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 3: once I let go of me just saying I want

424
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,880
Speaker 3: someone and I wish I had this, and I wish

425
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 3: I had that. Instead, I changed my mind to I'm

426
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 3: so lucky that I get to wake up and my

427
00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 3: family is healthy, and I love spending time with my friends,

428
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,600
Speaker 3: and you know what if it doesn't happen, I know

429
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 3: that I've always wanted to be a mom, and you know,

430
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,720
Speaker 3: so of course I kind of planned that out. I

431
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:36,520
Speaker 3: think it was because when Benny looks at me, I

432
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 3: don't think he he sees anything but who I am,

433
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:46,400
Speaker 3: and that's very rare to find. He knows when I'm

434
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 3: feeling a certain way and kind of before I can

435
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:54,000
Speaker 3: even let it get to a place where it's unbearable,

436
00:20:54,200 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 3: he has already talked to me through a spiral protecting

437
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 3: myself on multiple reasons, you know, doing you know, doing music,

438
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,640
Speaker 3: working with someone that's kind of you know, like, oh,

439
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 3: I don't know if I should do that, but I

440
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:14,879
Speaker 3: genuinely just watch it just happened. I think when you know,

441
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,679
Speaker 3: and oh, that's so cheesy to say, but when you

442
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:22,920
Speaker 3: do know, it feels right. And I think that that's

443
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 3: what happened to me, and I just felt very comfortable

444
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 3: with him.

445
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, Denny, how do you feel that you almost sabotaged

446
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 1: your relationship by nearly introducing Selena to your friends. How

447
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 1: does that feel like when you're like, hey, wait a minute,

448
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,400
Speaker 1: come and meet my friends. There might be some nice

449
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:36,919
Speaker 1: guys for you.

450
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 2: To me, I feel like it all happens for a reason.

451
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:43,359
Speaker 4: I feel like maybe me doing that is what disarmed

452
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,560
Speaker 4: her enough to like, you know, it's we talked about

453
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,400
Speaker 4: this before, like if we would have met each.

454
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,520
Speaker 2: Other when we were younger, it would have never worked.

455
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:54,879
Speaker 4: It's like we've both grown as individuals and met at

456
00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 4: the perfect time.

457
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,400
Speaker 2: And I believe life is like that.

458
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,800
Speaker 4: And sometimes it doesn't make sense, and sometimes it's not

459
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 4: the right reasons, and we're like, why is this happening?

460
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 4: But I always believe that I you know, I don't know.

461
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 4: I believe in fate. I believe in all that, and

462
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:13,480
Speaker 4: I believe, you know, if you're good to people karmically,

463
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,680
Speaker 4: it's going to come back to you ten times over.

464
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 4: Maybe you might get in that moment someone's going to

465
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 4: do you really dirty, but over a long period of time,

466
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 4: I think things are going to go your way.

467
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,640
Speaker 1: Was it scary because you you talk about being best

468
00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,480
Speaker 1: friends so much? Was it scary thinking what are we

469
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:33,600
Speaker 1: going to lose if this gets romantic as friends.

470
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 2: Nor happened right away. This was all one day.

471
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 4: That was one day, Like everything really happened within and

472
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 4: then look there was once we knew that we liked

473
00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 4: each other, there's that part where, like, you know, we're

474
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:52,199
Speaker 4: both extremely busy people. So it's like it takes a

475
00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 4: second to where you fully prioritize, you know, because it's

476
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,120
Speaker 4: like at first you date someone, you say, okay, i'll

477
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 4: see you this time once a week, and then it's like, okay.

478
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 2: This person's getting cool. We'll go twice and it's like, wait,

479
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,360
Speaker 2: don't leave my house. I miss you. Like it all

480
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 2: happens so quickly.

481
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 1: One thing that you both did was you had a

482
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 1: long distance relationship for a while, Like you were in

483
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:16,439
Speaker 1: different states and managing that you both have crazy work schedules,

484
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: and I was thinking, in your positions, it can get

485
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 1: very easy to be like all that person's never available,

486
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 1: they canceled again, like or they've got a million things

487
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: they're running away. I mean, you were just about to

488
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,879
Speaker 1: say you both are starting to travel together right now

489
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,359
Speaker 1: for work as well, But how did you manage that?

490
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 1: Because I think a lot of our viewers are like,

491
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 1: do long distance relationships work, and do two busy people

492
00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 1: relationships work? How would you both say you've managed both

493
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 1: of those parts.

494
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 3: Biggest thing in the world is trust. I can say

495
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 3: with all my heart that I trust this person. So

496
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 3: for me, knowing that I have a twelve to fourteen

497
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,919
Speaker 3: hour day on set, I won't get to talk to

498
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,479
Speaker 3: on a very second, which I don't need, but I

499
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 3: know just hearing from him one time check in with

500
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 3: me and say I love you and I hope the

501
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 3: day is going well. I just feel safe and I've

502
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,960
Speaker 3: never felt that before. And if you feel like you're

503
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:17,480
Speaker 3: in a situation that doesn't feel like you're a unit,

504
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 3: that makes it scarier and then that causes friction than

505
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 3: it causes trust issues. So for me, I would have

506
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 3: to say communication and trust helps, but it doesn't always work.

507
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 3: It's hard.

508
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:34,680
Speaker 2: I feel like.

509
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:40,440
Speaker 4: At the beginning, there were a few almost almost sabotages

510
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,919
Speaker 4: she didn't like. She was like, that's fair. At the

511
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 4: very beginning, in like her first few trips away, she

512
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 4: was still gaining that trust. So there was there were

513
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:54,080
Speaker 4: moments of sincere doo, no, yeah, yeah, we all have

514
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 4: that's no, we all have moments in our life because

515
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 4: like we're only made up.

516
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:00,639
Speaker 2: I tell everyone this.

517
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 4: It's like when you when you start dating someone, you're

518
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 4: not only dating them, you're dating every single person they've

519
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 4: ever dated, every single relationship they've ever had in their past,

520
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,239
Speaker 4: every because you're getting every piece of baggage that that

521
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,800
Speaker 4: person's carried in that what they've learned through their own

522
00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 4: personal life, through the life with partners, with their parents,

523
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 4: with this, that, And I had to find a way

524
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 4: to build that trust with her, not make it feel overbearing,

525
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 4: and make it feel real and make her actually believe

526
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,960
Speaker 4: it and vice versa, Like I know that she fully tried.

527
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 4: If I say, hey, I'm just going to do this today,

528
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 4: there's nowhere in her mind that's thinking that. And if

529
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 4: for any chance that she I always told her, I said,

530
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 4: it's okay.

531
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:45,400
Speaker 2: If you have.

532
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 4: Moments of doubt in something and a feeling, always talk

533
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,879
Speaker 4: to me and I'll talk you through anything that you

534
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:54,919
Speaker 4: may have. You know, if you say, hey, I know

535
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 4: this is a crazy thing. I just had a dream

536
00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,920
Speaker 4: and I woke up from this dream and I was upset.

537
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 4: Sometimes she'll just say like, please tell me I can

538
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 4: trust you, or please tell me you're not doing anything

539
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 4: stupid and I say, you can call me anytime you want.

540
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 4: And I'm aware of her strengths and I'm aware of

541
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 4: her weaknesses, and what I try to do is surround

542
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 4: her with a lot of things to help her. So

543
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,439
Speaker 4: if she's away and I have to go to a dinner,

544
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,840
Speaker 4: then a party, then this thing, then that thing, it's

545
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 4: a simple text in between each things. It says, hey, babe,

546
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,720
Speaker 4: I'm going to this next thing. I'm thinking about you.

547
00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 2: Hey.

548
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:34,639
Speaker 1: You know.

549
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 4: You know where couples where it starts to hit is

550
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,400
Speaker 4: when they miss that text.

551
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: They don't call the person. They wait until the next day.

552
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,879
Speaker 4: Like it's just like, I know what she needs to succeed,

553
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 4: so I'm gonna help her succeed.

554
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 2: I'm not going to be a dick. I'm not not

555
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 2: gonna hit her up.

556
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 4: And she doesn't need a lot. She's like the easiest

557
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,880
Speaker 4: person in the world. But I know, yeah, she wants

558
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 4: to talk to me before she goes to bed. She

559
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 4: wants me to say I love you. She wants me

560
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 4: to text her if I wind up having to stay

561
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 4: somewhere two hours late, just as simple, take out your.

562
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 2: Phone and blah blah blah bah bah done. And and

563
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 2: I know that no.

564
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 4: I know that stuff really helps, especially when you're long distance,

565
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 4: because it's natural you're far away from someone. You say,

566
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 4: I'm not with this person, I'm not as connected to them.

567
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 4: We're not We're not meant to be far. You're not

568
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 4: supposed to be long distance with your partner. So to

569
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 4: be right next to your partner, like it's like, we

570
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,119
Speaker 4: do things in life that we have to do, and

571
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 4: we both are very focused on our careers and we're

572
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 4: very driven, and you have to find a way to

573
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,480
Speaker 4: make it work that's comfortable. You have to talk to

574
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 4: your partner. You have to understand them. I think people's

575
00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:52,399
Speaker 4: biggest problems, especially men, are that we don't listen all

576
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 4: the time. You got to listen. Just shut them up

577
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,119
Speaker 4: and listen. Listen to what they're saying. A woman is

578
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 4: going to tell you exactly what she needs. Like when guys, look,

579
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 4: I don't know what you want, so I don't know

580
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 4: what she told you already, You're just an idiot. You're

581
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 4: not listening.

582
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 2: Just listen.

583
00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 4: A girl is If a girl is getting frustrated with

584
00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 4: you on something, she's definitely told you multiple times and

585
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:14,920
Speaker 4: you're just not paying attention. So it's like, just listen

586
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,640
Speaker 4: and don't be reactionary, proactively do these things. I don't

587
00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:20,360
Speaker 4: know if you do the same thing, but when you're

588
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 4: away from your partner, you just try to think of

589
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 4: little things that's gonna make them feel more comfortable.

590
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 2: Better, you know.

591
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 4: I'm I'm on the other hand, I'm like living on

592
00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 4: the moon. So it's like she doesn't have to really

593
00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 4: do anything for me because I'm like, I'm all in.

594
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 2: On everything with her and.

595
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 4: Fully trust her in every capacity and my whole life,

596
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 4: I've always been like this. I trust everyone until they

597
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:49,240
Speaker 4: give me a reason not too okay, and I trust

598
00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 4: people to be who they are okay, and so far

599
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 4: I know who she is, so until further notice, that's

600
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 4: how I'm gonna treat her.

601
00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

602
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's my thoughts on I love that.

603
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,920
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605
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606
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Speaker 4: I remember there was a time we didn't want this

627
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 4: to be like a public thing, because unfortunately for Selena,

628
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 4: her life is always under the spial of being scrutinized

629
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 4: at every moment and this and that and for good

630
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 4: for bad. And I remember sitting with her, and we've

631
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,400
Speaker 4: been seeing each other, you know, secretly for months and

632
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 4: months and months.

633
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 2: And.

634
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,840
Speaker 4: We were about to go to New York and we

635
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 4: just made a conscious effort that we were like, we

636
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 4: don't want to do this anymore. We want to be

637
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 4: able to go out and have fun and like and

638
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:09,720
Speaker 4: you know, just live our lives. And at that point

639
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 4: I knew that it was serious enough to dive in

640
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 4: like like that. I was like, Okay, I don't care

641
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 4: what comes with this, because I love this person so

642
00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:22,920
Speaker 4: much already that like we literally said I love you

643
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 4: on that trip.

644
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 2: She had already said I love you to me a

645
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 2: few times. Okay, wait to the album, I said I

646
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 2: love you fast. Yes.

647
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 1: So Selena, you said I love you fast.

648
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 2: Yes.

649
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 1: She said, what made you want to say that? Because

650
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 1: that's a big step by.

651
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 3: I definitely have never been the first.

652
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,040
Speaker 1: So this is the first time in your life you

653
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 1: were the first.

654
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 3: Yes. I wanted him to also know how committed I was,

655
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 3: and deep down I just felt that and I I

656
00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 3: was tired of protecting myself. We had spent enough time

657
00:31:56,880 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 3: together where you know, I felt like this was my

658
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 3: person and I had the courage enough to say it,

659
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 3: but I was very nervous, and Luckfoy, he said it back.

660
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 2: Did you say it back the first time?

661
00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 3: Well, there was, ah, okay, well there's been some slipout.

662
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: Well okay, okay.

663
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 4: She was she has a plate in her hand because

664
00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 4: she she had like an accident and she was like

665
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 4: coming up from I think.

666
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 3: That was he's talking about a metal plate.

667
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:29,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was had surgery or something.

668
00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 4: She was coming out of anesthesia and and she was

669
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 4: like sitting there and she was and then I was

670
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 4: like what and she was like and she's like I

671
00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 4: love you, and I don't remember. I didn't say anything

672
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 4: back yet because I was like, I can't have this

673
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 4: be the first time. And then one time she was

674
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 4: with her friends, they were at dinner and she was like.

675
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 2: Oh, we really wish you were here.

676
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 4: We love you, I mean, and then just hung out

677
00:32:55,960 --> 00:33:00,080
Speaker 4: like it literally like and then she started wanting to

678
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,360
Speaker 4: to really say it, and she was like it was

679
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 4: right when I was going to do it.

680
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 2: It was the same night and I was like, hey,

681
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 2: let me get my stuff out.

682
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 3: And he literally said that, and then I just said and.

683
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 2: I was like please.

684
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 4: I was like, please just let me out because I

685
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 4: had it was like I had felt it and I

686
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 4: was about to do it, and I was like, I

687
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 4: want to wait till New York so it's special be

688
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 4: in my house, like it'll be a good thing. And

689
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 4: then the day I was doing it, she was like

690
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 4: she like couldn't take it anymore, and she said it,

691
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 4: and then we said it. And the thing that's crazy

692
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 4: is you know, before you say I love you.

693
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 2: It's like this thing. It's like taboo. You're scared to say.

694
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 4: And then after you're like, oh my god, I can't,

695
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 4: Like you want to say it a thousand times in

696
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 4: a row.

697
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 2: You never want.

698
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,560
Speaker 4: I can't even understand how I went so long without

699
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 4: saying it to her. I say it three thousand times

700
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 4: a day to her, and like I make sure every

701
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 4: day I say I love you so much, like I

702
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 4: love you a million times, and then I always tell

703
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 4: her how beautiful she is and how lucky I am

704
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 4: to have her every day. You know what, I's so

705
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 4: annoying like you, and I always want to know, and

706
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:10,879
Speaker 4: I always want to do that because I want her

707
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 4: to know that every day I don't take any of

708
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 4: anything for granted, and I still look at her and

709
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 4: my breath gets taken away in so many different ways.

710
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 4: And I said to her last night we were sitting,

711
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,399
Speaker 4: we were in like the pool or something together last

712
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 4: night and we were just hanging out, and I was

713
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 4: just like, you're so beautiful. And I don't mean that

714
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 4: just physically. I'm saying, like you can feel it. There's

715
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 4: like a ring, like an aura around her that exudes

716
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 4: just like warmth.

717
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 3: And it just making me want to cry.

718
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,840
Speaker 1: How do you react in the moment when they hapened, Celina,

719
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: Because Benny, we're basically the same person. I do the

720
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,399
Speaker 1: same thing to my wife. I do it to Roddy

721
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,800
Speaker 1: so Lucky Dye will just pull the funniest face in

722
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:56,280
Speaker 1: the world. Yeah, I was like, how do you react

723
00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 1: when when Benny's doing all these amazing things, Selina said, Because.

724
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 3: I say, now, let's be honest, I also am equally grateful,

725
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,480
Speaker 3: and I tell him that all the time. I just

726
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 3: it makes me feel like it's not real, and I'll

727
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 3: like sometimes I'll be like, this seems too good to

728
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 3: be true, Like he's so sweet to me. But now

729
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,040
Speaker 3: I've accepted it, I think I actually love it so

730
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 3: much that it just makes me want to give him

731
00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 3: that support and that love back. So it's safe to

732
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 3: say I feel much safe for doing that now, and

733
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:37,359
Speaker 3: I like it.

734
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 1: I think so many people feel that when someone's that nice,

735
00:35:42,480 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 1: and that's coming from someone who's like that myself with friends, family,

736
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 1: and obviously with my wife too. A lot of the

737
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,960
Speaker 1: time that's scene as a weakness, like people kind of

738
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,760
Speaker 1: look down on it when someone's that open about their feelings.

739
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,760
Speaker 1: Especially I get asked that a lot. When I'm giving

740
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: relationship with dating advice, people be like, oh no, but

741
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: if I come on too strong, people get turned off.

742
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 1: What this time was different for you? Where it's like

743
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 1: he's being really affectionate, he's being really open, but there's

744
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:11,879
Speaker 1: a part of you that realizes that's what you want

745
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 1: and that's what you deserve.

746
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 3: Because the world has become so hard to please. If

747
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 3: you will, I'm called fake, I'm called it's insincere, it's

748
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:31,440
Speaker 3: fake all of us. Like it just doesn't feel safe,

749
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:36,439
Speaker 3: and I don't like being myself sometimes and really that's

750
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 3: a bigger problem than just talking about it in a relationship,

751
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 3: because it makes you feel like you have to question

752
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 3: the way you're acting. And I genuinely, yeah, I have

753
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 3: really bad days and sometimes I don't have the energy

754
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 3: to do what I'm doing, but I try ninety nine

755
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 3: percent of the time to be kind and to just

756
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 3: be happy, grateful for what I have, and that just

757
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 3: almost isn't cool anymore. And I hope that that conversation

758
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 3: can kind of start eventually because it's not it's not good.

759
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,440
Speaker 3: I want to always be that person that I was,

760
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:20,800
Speaker 3: but it gets harder and harder. What I fell for Benny,

761
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:24,440
Speaker 3: it was it was everything about him was honest. It

762
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 3: wasn't just that he was honest with me. He was

763
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,760
Speaker 3: honest about where he was at in life, and he'll

764
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 3: tell me anything that he's feeling, and it made me

765
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 3: feel like I could do the same. But he's the

766
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,840
Speaker 3: one person you know, when you're saying those nice things

767
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:44,200
Speaker 3: to me, babe, it's like so sweet, But I believe

768
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 3: him to where I'm not going to believe someone who

769
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 3: is blowing smoke up my but to just make me

770
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 3: feel good. He's saying it because he means it, and

771
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:55,399
Speaker 3: I believe it.

772
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:59,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's beautiful, that honesty that someone has in every

773
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: area of their life, including their bad days, their tough days,

774
00:38:03,239 --> 00:38:06,960
Speaker 1: they're challenging days. Then when they're saying that, whether their

775
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,319
Speaker 1: days good or bad, and they feel that way, it

776
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,040
Speaker 1: resonates with us. I think we all we all sense that.

777
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: And I love what you said. I think it's so

778
00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,719
Speaker 1: important that we make it cool again to care for

779
00:38:16,760 --> 00:38:18,959
Speaker 1: people and be cared for, and we make it cool

780
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 1: again to love people and feel loved, and we make

781
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 1: it cool again for people to be kind and true kindness.

782
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 4: I feel like it's like a macho thing, like guys.

783
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 4: Guys are always trying. It's like, stop trying to be cool.

784
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,560
Speaker 4: Like it's like guys try to be so cool and

785
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:35,319
Speaker 4: like they don't want. I think it's cool to show

786
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 4: your emotions. I think it's cool to tell you that

787
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 4: the person like I call my mom an up and

788
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 4: I tell her how beautiful she is, too, like, and

789
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 4: I think it's cool to make people feel good.

790
00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 2: I think it's cool to like, you know.

791
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,439
Speaker 4: I just feel like people like are trying to push

792
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,520
Speaker 4: people down a lot sometimes, like to make themselves feel

793
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 4: better but you look so much cooler and so much better.

794
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,359
Speaker 2: If you're making other people feel you.

795
00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 3: As looking, you'd feel like a better person.

796
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 4: I'm saying, though, But it's like, I don't understand why

797
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,480
Speaker 4: people like choose not to do that.

798
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:08,440
Speaker 3: And it's like, yeah, it's something I'm very passionate about,

799
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:12,919
Speaker 3: something that I do want to start talking about more.

800
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,120
Speaker 3: I want to be a good example. I'm not the

801
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 3: perfect person. Lord knows, I've made tons of mistakes and

802
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 3: continue and will continue to. But I think it's important

803
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 3: that we talk about that.

804
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm really glad you both raised it because I

805
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 1: think so many of us are actually accepting less than

806
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 1: we deserve because we want what's cool, not what we deserve.

807
00:39:35,440 --> 00:39:38,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, like me explaining to you right now, I want

808
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 3: to change my whole approach to anything because of like

809
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 3: one thing that I did, Like that's said. I don't

810
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:49,279
Speaker 3: want to have to change who I am, Like that

811
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:50,440
Speaker 3: was hurtful, for sure.

812
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 2: I don't never want to do it.

813
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 4: I don't do any of that, like when some of you,

814
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:55,680
Speaker 4: I don't care what's going on.

815
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 3: No, he's great at that, which helps me not care

816
00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 3: as much.

817
00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:01,279
Speaker 4: But I don't care about what anyone says, I don't

818
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 4: care about comments. I don't care about pras, I don't

819
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,480
Speaker 4: care about anything. I don't care about what anyone says.

820
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 4: I yeah to try to have you always been that way?

821
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 2: Yeah?

822
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 1: What made you that confident? Because I think a lot

823
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 1: of people need to hear that.

824
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 2: Because it's like this, Okay, why are you reading the comments? Okay?

825
00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 2: There's two reasons.

826
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 4: You're either reading the comment because you want people to

827
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 4: be like, oh my god, I love you, or you

828
00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 4: want someone to say.

829
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,920
Speaker 2: You piece of shit, You're ugly, you look like shit.

830
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,600
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, And it's like and you

831
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 4: don't need either one of those answers. I'd rather just

832
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 4: free fall through life and I don't need to know

833
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 4: any of that stuff. And I've never even read an

834
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,600
Speaker 4: interview back ever that I've ever done. I don't look

835
00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 4: at the pictures like I ask my manager, I say, hey,

836
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 4: did I say something stupid in the interview? And if

837
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 4: he says yes, I said, what did I say that

838
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 4: was stupid? Or I say okay, great if it's something

839
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 4: like I don't want to know, there's always going to

840
00:40:54,560 --> 00:41:00,360
Speaker 4: be someone trying to bring you down. Hating is free, Okay,

841
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 4: so people are gonna be hating all over the world'

842
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 4: and gonna be hating from their bedroom. They're gonna be

843
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:06,879
Speaker 4: and I just don't even understand it. I've never even

844
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:09,799
Speaker 4: thought in my mind to like to like go on

845
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 4: someone's page be like, Jay, that shirt's ugly? Why'd you

846
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 4: wear that? Those stripes look like shit?

847
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 3: Jay?

848
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 2: No, I never even thought about that.

849
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,319
Speaker 4: Like, if anything, I write like, oh my god, I

850
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 4: love this show Jay, like and I just don't think

851
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 4: we live in this weird world where people seek validation

852
00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 4: in so many different ways, and I don't think be neat.

853
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:32,799
Speaker 2: And I know it's hard.

854
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 4: I know it's hard, and people want it and you

855
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,120
Speaker 4: want to read the comments, you want to look at it,

856
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 4: but I just don't think I'm gonna gain anything from it.

857
00:41:39,840 --> 00:41:41,920
Speaker 4: In that time I could be looking at those comments,

858
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:43,840
Speaker 4: I could be hanging out with my friends or like

859
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 4: going on a walk or eating something delicious.

860
00:41:47,239 --> 00:41:47,959
Speaker 3: Mulier.

861
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think you have that too, And

862
00:41:50,239 --> 00:41:52,760
Speaker 1: it's why you've been so successful in music, Beny yourself,

863
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:56,879
Speaker 1: because I think you can create original sound because it's

864
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: not trying to be like someone else or impress someone

865
00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 1: else likes. It's partly why you're so good at your craft,

866
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 1: because to make great music, to invent new sounds, to

867
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 1: create new genres, to create spaces for artists to play in,

868
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: it requires that confidence in I'm not trying to sound

869
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 1: like this. I'm not trying to be like this. I'm

870
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,360
Speaker 1: not trying to impress. So it's really interesting too, because

871
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:19,920
Speaker 1: I feel like when you're growing up your whole life,

872
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 1: you're told to fit in, and then when you grow

873
00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:24,360
Speaker 1: up you have to stand out. But then when you

874
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,360
Speaker 1: stand out, then everyone has a chance to point fingers

875
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: because when you're doing something differently, that's the only time

876
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: if you kind of follow what everyone else is doing

877
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 1: normal lever point fingers.

878
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 2: Do you do you read the comments?

879
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 1: No, I'm the same as you. But I got really

880
00:42:39,080 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 1: good advice early on as well. I remember someone saying

881
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,239
Speaker 1: to me, they said, Jay, you get if you get

882
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:47,560
Speaker 1: one hundred comments, you're going to look through all of

883
00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:49,280
Speaker 1: them to find the one that's negative.

884
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,960
Speaker 2: Right, That's the way the brains works.

885
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,360
Speaker 1: And then you make it out like that one negative

886
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,799
Speaker 1: comment is an entire comments section. And so if someone said, Jay,

887
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:00,600
Speaker 1: those stripes are ugly, I'm not walking around my whole

888
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 1: life thinkingly. And let's get honest, that goes even deeper.

889
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,000
Speaker 1: If someone says something about you. When you were saying,

890
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:09,399
Speaker 1: like someone called you fake or.

891
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,720
Speaker 3: Something, well, I was basically also going to point out

892
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:16,919
Speaker 3: that women have it. Not sure, please tell Yeah, that's

893
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 3: from my perspective. It's it's pretty wild. And I think

894
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 3: this isn't news to anybody that obviously women have a

895
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:32,320
Speaker 3: lot more intense feelings from their appearance to you know,

896
00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 3: what they are wearing, to everything. And I'm saying this

897
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 3: is to me. When I get prepared for an event,

898
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 3: ninety percent of the time, I'm just like, I just

899
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 3: hope I can take the picture and sit down. It's

900
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 3: the character that gets judged. It's the way I'm not

901
00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 3: wide enough, I'm not Mexican enough, I'm I don't know.

902
00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 3: There's just these so many different things is that come

903
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:04,320
Speaker 3: up in my face that I can't help but see.

904
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,920
Speaker 3: But I fell victim to like looking at that things

905
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 3: and it really it doesn't add to your life, but

906
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 3: it's just so difficult from the choices of you know,

907
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 3: the people you date. It's like nobody cares about those

908
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:21,880
Speaker 3: kind of things. With men. They're just like, yeah, they

909
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 3: did that. They said that they you know, they did this,

910
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,759
Speaker 3: and so I think we just carry a lot. Oh yeah,

911
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 3: my weight's a big one too. Everyone just has something

912
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 3: to say, and it's really making me sad, and not

913
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:37,400
Speaker 3: even sad because you know what, No, I'm not a

914
00:44:37,480 --> 00:44:40,280
Speaker 3: victim everyone. I just think it's made me a tad

915
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 3: bitter and I feel really guilty for saying that, but

916
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 3: it's true. I don't know.

917
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 1: It's a really interesting time, isn't it, Because and I'm

918
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:51,960
Speaker 1: so happy that you both talking about this because I

919
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 1: feel like, on one end, we're all like body positivity,

920
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,799
Speaker 1: let's talk about mental health, let's protect each other, like

921
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 1: there's this whole conversation, and then on the other side,

922
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: we're like pointing fingers at people about their weight and

923
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 1: their appearance and whatever else. It is, like you said,

924
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 1: judgments of characters, especially saying with women, And I find

925
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,239
Speaker 1: that so interesting because I'm like, wait a minute, don't

926
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,439
Speaker 1: we realize that the same people are saying mental health matters. Yeah,

927
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 1: are the same people that are pointing fingers at people

928
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 1: that can affect people's mental health.

929
00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 3: I'm just happier that I don't have that. You know.

930
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,280
Speaker 3: I had to stop after a while, and I still

931
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 3: take breaks completely because I'm human, So of course sometimes

932
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 3: I read things, but I do most of the time

933
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 3: ignore most of everything. I don't have anything on my

934
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 3: phone at the moment, so there are ways to combat it.

935
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:45,480
Speaker 3: I'm doing it. I'm not in like, I'm not in

936
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 3: like I hate it. I understand the power of what

937
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,800
Speaker 3: social media is. It's just tricky.

938
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it is very tricky. Thank you guys, Yeah,

939
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:57,520
Speaker 1: thank you for opening up about it, because I can

940
00:45:57,560 --> 00:46:00,359
Speaker 1: imagine it just gets exhausting after a while. It's just, yeah,

941
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:03,120
Speaker 1: just tired of it, you know, Yeah, because it's all

942
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 1: the same and you're processing all the same stuff. But

943
00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:08,839
Speaker 1: what about Viseelena, what's been the way that you've been

944
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:12,040
Speaker 1: able to manage your crazy work schedule, staying committed to

945
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,760
Speaker 1: the relationship, finding time to make memories and makes it I.

946
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 3: Think you know, I will say it's it's very hard

947
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 3: for me, and like Benny said in the beginning, it

948
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 3: was very difficult for me to take trips away. It

949
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 3: just makes me feel once I understood and got to

950
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 3: know him, and I wasn't afraid to tell I'm like, hey,

951
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 3: I just want to make sure like it's not that

952
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 3: I don't trust you? Can you just text me before you,

953
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,960
Speaker 3: you know, go to your next thing. And I was

954
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 3: able to do that with him and he wasn't combative,

955
00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:50,719
Speaker 3: he wasn't like why I don't you don't trust me?

956
00:46:50,800 --> 00:46:52,919
Speaker 3: It was just like, yeah, I could totally do that.

957
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 3: And with that, day by day, I feel more and

958
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 3: more open and you know, we're going to be separated

959
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:05,800
Speaker 3: again while I go shoot in New York and yeah,

960
00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:08,719
Speaker 3: I'm ready for it. I think it's it's doable, but

961
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:09,840
Speaker 3: it's not fun.

962
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,800
Speaker 1: Exactly, it's not fun, but but it found It sounds

963
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: like you found a system that works for you. And

964
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:21,080
Speaker 1: the system is so simple. Is literally just listening to

965
00:47:21,120 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 1: the other person. If the other person says, hey, I

966
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 1: need this, it's not now like a debate around whether

967
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 1: they don't trust you. Because I think a lot of

968
00:47:28,120 --> 00:47:29,920
Speaker 1: us if someone said that to you, Benny, like it

969
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: would be easy for your reaction to be like, well,

970
00:47:32,239 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 1: how can you not trust me? Like you always know

971
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:35,759
Speaker 1: where I am? Like how why do I have to

972
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 1: do this every day? Like you could have that reaction,

973
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 1: but that reaction doesn't make the relationship better. And I

974
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:46,439
Speaker 1: think that's where often that goes where someone vulnerably says, hey,

975
00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 1: all I need is this.

976
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 4: If someone's coming at you with a certain energy, you're

977
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:53,440
Speaker 4: already going to buck back. Like she always comes in

978
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 4: a way where she's like, well I didn't like this

979
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 4: because of this, this and this. I'm like, she just said,

980
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,279
Speaker 4: it's so nice that I have to I'm like no,

981
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:04,880
Speaker 4: because I'm like, shit, I have to approach this in

982
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:08,200
Speaker 4: a different way because she came at it with such

983
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:11,680
Speaker 4: class and effort, so like I'm not going to come

984
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:12,440
Speaker 4: back at her like that.

985
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:13,520
Speaker 2: I'm going to come back at her and.

986
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:16,640
Speaker 4: Say, well I agree with what you're saying, or you know,

987
00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 4: I disagree, and here's why, you know.

988
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 2: And that's how we talk through everything.

989
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:23,800
Speaker 4: And then another thing was I really wanted a person

990
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:28,759
Speaker 4: that when I wake up, I think to myself, I'm like,

991
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 4: how can I make Selena's day better? Like how what

992
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,319
Speaker 4: can I do in my day to make her day better?

993
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 4: Because then that makes my day better? And I wanted

994
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,279
Speaker 4: to find a person like that. And I know when

995
00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:40,799
Speaker 4: Selena wakes up, like the first thing she's thinking is like,

996
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,879
Speaker 4: how can I make his day better? And we have

997
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,719
Speaker 4: such a give and take like I could never even

998
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 4: see a world where I would ever yell at her

999
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,440
Speaker 4: she would ever yell at me. Like we don't argue

1000
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 4: like that, Like I feel like I feel like we

1001
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:56,799
Speaker 4: just have conversations, like there's never an argument. Sometimes she'll

1002
00:48:56,840 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 4: say this is so funny. Oh boy, no, no, no, She'll

1003
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:05,720
Speaker 4: do this and it's really cool. She'll go, I'm feeling

1004
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 4: a little irritated, and I think I need like twenty

1005
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:12,319
Speaker 4: five minutes. And I'll say okay, and then I give

1006
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 4: her her space. And then after like five minutes she

1007
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 4: texted me. She's like, hey, will you come back? But

1008
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:22,920
Speaker 4: it's knowing that and we have the proper boundaries set

1009
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,400
Speaker 4: with each other, Like I don't have to be on

1010
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,279
Speaker 4: top of her every second, she doesn't have to be

1011
00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,319
Speaker 4: on top of me every second we're together. I just

1012
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:31,759
Speaker 4: want to know she's in the house so I can

1013
00:49:31,760 --> 00:49:33,839
Speaker 4: say like, hey, I love you and.

1014
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 2: Then go back to what I'm doing.

1015
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 4: You know what I mean, Because look, we're both highly

1016
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 4: independent people. Okay, but we're both little MUSHes who just

1017
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:43,440
Speaker 4: need to be attached.

1018
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, we are so cheesy. It's so fun.

1019
00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's like, but I feel like I think

1020
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaker 4: it helps us too that we're both you know, on

1021
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:56,719
Speaker 4: my list a thing was I wanted someone to be

1022
00:49:56,840 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 4: driven and inspired by something. I didn't care if they

1023
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:02,319
Speaker 4: made any money or anything. I just wanted someone to

1024
00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 4: be so into something that they did every day. And

1025
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 4: when she comes back from her day and she tells

1026
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 4: me what she did, I'm like, I'm not saying they're like, yeah.

1027
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:13,799
Speaker 2: Like when you're talking to your mom.

1028
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:15,080
Speaker 4: You know, when you're talking to your mom and you

1029
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 4: just say your mom just keeps talking, you go yeah,

1030
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 4: uh huh yeah. Like she comes back and like my

1031
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 4: eyes light up because I see the enthusiasm. I see

1032
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 4: what she did, and I'm like it inspires me, and

1033
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:26,759
Speaker 4: I'm like, I gotta do more in this thing. And

1034
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:32,120
Speaker 4: it's like we're in this place where we're inspiring each

1035
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:35,920
Speaker 4: other and we're so inspired by what the other person's doing.

1036
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,600
Speaker 4: And and she'll help me out. She'll be like, well,

1037
00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,080
Speaker 4: what if you did it like this this and this

1038
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 4: and that, And then she'll say something I'll be like, well,

1039
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:46,000
Speaker 4: why don't you handle the situation? Because we have such

1040
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:50,080
Speaker 4: different personalities that are also the same, but we're the

1041
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:52,400
Speaker 4: thing that one of us is really good at, the

1042
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:54,960
Speaker 4: other one maybe lacks a little bit and vice versa.

1043
00:50:55,040 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 4: And it's so cool to be able to like workshop

1044
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 4: like conversations or how to handle a situation in it.

1045
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 4: And I just feel so comfortable with her like that

1046
00:51:07,200 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 4: I can say anything and she won't ever say I

1047
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 4: don't know.

1048
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 1: I love the maturity. I mean hearing you both talk

1049
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:13,719
Speaker 1: about it.

1050
00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, there, we are not the perfect.

1051
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:17,800
Speaker 2: No, that's not perfect.

1052
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 1: But you're disagreeing, no, no, no, But I think the

1053
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:23,320
Speaker 1: maturity of and I agree with you. I think I

1054
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 1: think that's actually the difference, and I'm glad you brought

1055
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:27,800
Speaker 1: that up. I think there's a big difference between maturity

1056
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 1: and perfection. Perfection is saying we never have a disagreement,

1057
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:35,120
Speaker 1: we never have to take space from each other, which

1058
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:35,799
Speaker 1: you're not saying.

1059
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:36,919
Speaker 2: You're saying, hey, I.

1060
00:51:36,800 --> 00:51:38,920
Speaker 1: Just asked for twenty five space, and then I was like,

1061
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I need to And I think there's

1062
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 1: a maturity in that because it requires maturity from both

1063
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 1: parts for you to first say hey I need space,

1064
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:49,600
Speaker 1: for you to say I get it, I respect you,

1065
00:51:50,120 --> 00:51:52,000
Speaker 1: and then for you to have the maturity to say

1066
00:51:52,160 --> 00:51:54,160
Speaker 1: actually I want you back, and for you to be

1067
00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 1: like not like oh I told you so, for you

1068
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:58,799
Speaker 1: to be like, I'm here for you like that. That's

1069
00:51:58,840 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 1: not perfection to me, that's maturity. And I think that's

1070
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 1: I really want people to get that from it, that

1071
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:05,840
Speaker 1: you are going to have disagreements, you are going to

1072
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,239
Speaker 1: want space like me and Raley went through that. She

1073
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 1: at the beginning of our relationship, if we had a

1074
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:13,359
Speaker 1: disagreement and we were the same, we never we made

1075
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 1: a rule that we would never raise our voices at

1076
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 1: each other because I came from a home where it

1077
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 1: was not great. She comes from a home where her

1078
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 1: parents don't raise their voices. But I was just like,

1079
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 1: I never wanted them in my home. I wanted the

1080
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 1: energy of my home to be so sacred, and I

1081
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,040
Speaker 1: wanted the energy of the home to always have a

1082
00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 1: space where everyone just walked in and felt like a

1083
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:33,680
Speaker 1: warm hug. And I was like, we can't argue and

1084
00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:37,279
Speaker 1: then expect that to happen. But it took a long

1085
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,960
Speaker 1: time for us to realize that when she at the

1086
00:52:39,960 --> 00:52:43,319
Speaker 1: start of our disagreements, she wanted space. And I used

1087
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:44,320
Speaker 1: to say to her, well, if you don't want to

1088
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 1: talk about it right now, that means you don't care

1089
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:48,640
Speaker 1: about me. And that wasn't true. She just needed space

1090
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 1: to process. So it took time for us to mature,

1091
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:53,960
Speaker 1: for me to realize, wait a minute, you wanting space?

1092
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:54,880
Speaker 1: Is you caring?

1093
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:55,399
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1094
00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:57,719
Speaker 4: The relationship some people, I get it. They want to

1095
00:52:57,719 --> 00:52:59,799
Speaker 4: talk about it right then, they want to The one

1096
00:52:59,840 --> 00:53:02,279
Speaker 4: thing that also works for us so much is like

1097
00:53:02,560 --> 00:53:05,480
Speaker 4: we're not chill people, but we're like we're not We're

1098
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,440
Speaker 4: never gonna get I like, I'm not gonna yell at

1099
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:08,960
Speaker 4: anyone in my life.

1100
00:53:08,760 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 2: Like yes and yeah.

1101
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:14,120
Speaker 4: And you know, I came from a home where a

1102
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 4: lot of that was happening, and I saw like at

1103
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:20,360
Speaker 4: a young age, and I was just like, well, like

1104
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:23,000
Speaker 4: my parents weren't speaking the same language. Obviously they were

1105
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,680
Speaker 4: speaking the actual same language. They weren't speaking the same

1106
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:31,720
Speaker 4: language to each other to communicate. And if someone comes

1107
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,680
Speaker 4: at you like hostile right away, the first thing I'm

1108
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 4: gonna do, and I know she's gonna do, is shut down.

1109
00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 4: So you're not getting anything, you know. And I always

1110
00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:44,279
Speaker 4: say this, Guys are so quick to like they gotta win,

1111
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:46,359
Speaker 4: they gotta win the argument. And it's like what are

1112
00:53:46,360 --> 00:53:48,760
Speaker 4: you doing? What are you winning? Like you're gonna argue

1113
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,279
Speaker 4: with your wife and like make her cry and then

1114
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:53,240
Speaker 4: you're like I won that argument, and then she hates

1115
00:53:53,280 --> 00:53:54,359
Speaker 4: you and resents you like.

1116
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:57,800
Speaker 2: Wait, like, don't be an idiot, and it's like I am.

1117
00:53:57,840 --> 00:54:01,000
Speaker 3: I've been guilty though to start, Yeah, I don't know.

1118
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:01,759
Speaker 4: I'm mad of you.

1119
00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:08,279
Speaker 3: Sorry. I think for me, I necessarily felt like in

1120
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 3: other situations of mine, I was very reactive. I think

1121
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:17,200
Speaker 3: that's why I was alone for five years, because I

1122
00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:21,320
Speaker 3: really needed to collect myself. I think in the past

1123
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:24,000
Speaker 3: that's why I say to him all the time, and

1124
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,800
Speaker 3: ten years ago, it's not that I wouldn't have wanted

1125
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,719
Speaker 3: to be with you. I just wouldn't have been in

1126
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:32,719
Speaker 3: the right headspace. And I don't think that you deserve

1127
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 3: what I had gone through before. So I've learned a

1128
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 3: lot of lessons and I've made mistakes, and I just

1129
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 3: want this to be right. So for me, that was

1130
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,719
Speaker 3: a lesson that I had to learn, because I think

1131
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:50,880
Speaker 3: girls can equally want to be right that for me,

1132
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 3: it was really difficult in the past, and he's made

1133
00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:57,279
Speaker 3: it unbelievably easy, to the point where if I even

1134
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 3: get to the point where I'm sough frustrated, he's like

1135
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 3: very quick to understand. I hear you, like you're allowed

1136
00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 3: to feel bad, and that helped me shift where my

1137
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:12,560
Speaker 3: mind used to go, which was a little bit of anger.

1138
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:16,640
Speaker 1: So it was the validation of how you felt in

1139
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:20,400
Speaker 1: those reactive moments. Yes, that allowed you to not be reactive?

1140
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:22,160
Speaker 1: What was it that allowed you? Because I feel like,

1141
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:25,400
Speaker 1: as Benny was saying earlier, you carry this baggage from

1142
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:27,680
Speaker 1: all of our relationships into this one.

1143
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 3: I respect Benny because he's done nothing but respect me.

1144
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:38,759
Speaker 3: I again trust him. I can tell him anything, even

1145
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:43,640
Speaker 3: if it's about something that's uncomfortable, and maybe she should

1146
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:47,719
Speaker 3: just talk to your girlfriends like he is that and

1147
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 3: that helps calm me down to say, Okay, so I'm

1148
00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:54,360
Speaker 3: going through these things because of maybe what I had

1149
00:55:54,640 --> 00:55:58,400
Speaker 3: before or whatever it is. It's nothing is ever bad,

1150
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:01,439
Speaker 3: like nothing in my life. If I regret, and I'm

1151
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:05,279
Speaker 3: so so happy for my journey and I'll continue to

1152
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 3: be it is a lesson that you have to be

1153
00:56:08,239 --> 00:56:12,240
Speaker 3: patient and learn. And I just I could never picture

1154
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 3: myself disrespecting him. I think it's also just.

1155
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 4: A different thing because it's like, look, none of us

1156
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:23,560
Speaker 4: are perfect. Like she gets spicy sometimes and when I

1157
00:56:23,600 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 4: see something happening, it's about guiding the missile, not adding

1158
00:56:27,640 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 4: a jet pack on top of it with a with

1159
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:33,759
Speaker 4: like machine gun artillery, Like I want to make if

1160
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:36,680
Speaker 4: I see her getting to a place where I'm like, man,

1161
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:40,879
Speaker 4: in five minutes from now, this room could explode. I'm

1162
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:43,319
Speaker 4: never gonna let it get to that five minutes from now.

1163
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:45,799
Speaker 4: I'm going to say, what are all the tools that

1164
00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 4: I know that work for her, that I've learned over Like,

1165
00:56:49,160 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 4: I'm not going to exacerbate a situation. I'm going to

1166
00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:54,439
Speaker 4: try to calm it down, because why do I want

1167
00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 4: to be in that position where we're both just like

1168
00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:59,400
Speaker 4: upset about something. I don't want to just calm it

1169
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:01,879
Speaker 4: down and tell her what she wants to hear. I'm

1170
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:03,960
Speaker 4: not saying that. I'm not saying like to your partner.

1171
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,160
Speaker 2: Be like, yes, you're right, You're totally right. Like everything

1172
00:57:06,200 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 2: you know.

1173
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 4: I think you listen and you say like okay, Like

1174
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:13,040
Speaker 4: sometimes I even I'll say like, let's not let.

1175
00:57:13,040 --> 00:57:15,359
Speaker 2: It get there, let's like just talk about this.

1176
00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:19,440
Speaker 4: And I do think physical touch is always like a

1177
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 4: very big way, Like if you're in a conversation with

1178
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:25,600
Speaker 4: your partner, like it's like sometimes just like a hand

1179
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:27,840
Speaker 4: helps or just holding their hand while you're telling them

1180
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 4: or giving them a hug while you're telling them, and

1181
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:33,320
Speaker 4: if someone's upset, let them talk it out first, and

1182
00:57:33,320 --> 00:57:35,720
Speaker 4: then after they talk it out, be like, Okay, well

1183
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:39,120
Speaker 4: here's what I think you know, and you can work

1184
00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:43,480
Speaker 4: through these things together. It's such an easy way. It's

1185
00:57:43,520 --> 00:57:45,760
Speaker 4: not always easy, I can tell you that. And sometimes

1186
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,560
Speaker 4: we just someone wants to be frustrated, and it's like,

1187
00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 4: sometimes she'll tell me that. She'll just be like, I

1188
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 4: know it's gonna be okay, but like, I just want

1189
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:55,680
Speaker 4: to be frustrated in this moment, and I'll have to

1190
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:58,280
Speaker 4: redirect because I'll be like, you know what, you have

1191
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:00,480
Speaker 4: every right to be in this moment, and she'll say

1192
00:58:00,520 --> 00:58:02,120
Speaker 4: this is why she said, this is why I want

1193
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 4: to be frustrated this moment. She said it the other

1194
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:05,960
Speaker 4: day about something I can't even remember, and I was

1195
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 4: just like, oh my god. I was like, yeah, I

1196
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:10,080
Speaker 4: was like, that makes so much sense. I was like,

1197
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 4: I don't agree with the frustration. We'll get there afterwards,

1198
00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 4: and I was like, but I get it. I get it,

1199
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 4: and it's so cool and I've never quite had a

1200
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 4: relationship like with her, and we're the furthest thing from

1201
00:58:22,840 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 4: perfect in the world. We're perfect for each other, We're

1202
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 4: not perfect for everyone else. But I think the thing

1203
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:31,680
Speaker 4: that's cool is that we've had all these experiences. I've

1204
00:58:31,720 --> 00:58:34,960
Speaker 4: had all my experiences where it wasn't right, and I'm like, oh, okay,

1205
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 4: I'm going to change that the next time, you know,

1206
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:40,200
Speaker 4: with this person or with that person. And I think

1207
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:42,840
Speaker 4: that's when you really grow, is when you take all

1208
00:58:42,880 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 4: your experiences, good or bad.

1209
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:45,720
Speaker 2: Like I'm like her, I take.

1210
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 4: Any experience in my life, my past partners, my family,

1211
00:58:49,960 --> 00:58:53,960
Speaker 4: my everything. It's like everything happened for a reason, and

1212
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 4: I'm not going to sit here and mope about like

1213
00:58:56,200 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 4: things that could be better or different. What I'm gonna

1214
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:01,360
Speaker 4: do is I'm gonna say, Okay, I learned this, and

1215
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:03,720
Speaker 4: now I'm going to put it into practice.

1216
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 1: You know, For me, I always I always said to RADI,

1217
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:07,880
Speaker 1: I always say to my wife, do you want me

1218
00:59:07,960 --> 00:59:10,840
Speaker 1: to listen? Do you want me to fix this? Or

1219
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:12,920
Speaker 1: did you just want me to go through it with you?

1220
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:16,520
Speaker 2: Because a lot they don't want you to fix it

1221
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 2: right away.

1222
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:19,200
Speaker 4: And I'm not saying I'm saying men or women, sometimes

1223
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 4: it's not about fixing, you know, everyone is, you know,

1224
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:23,960
Speaker 4: I'm such a problem solver and you are too, so

1225
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:26,040
Speaker 4: it's like your first thing, I know, the first thing

1226
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:28,200
Speaker 4: in your head is like, how can I fix this situation?

1227
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 4: But sometimes it's not about fixing it right there. Sometimes

1228
00:59:30,720 --> 00:59:34,400
Speaker 4: it's about just like you know, especially for women who

1229
00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:38,760
Speaker 4: are like strong, like both our partners, they don't have

1230
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 4: a lot of time to be vulnerable in all the

1231
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 4: areas of their life. They have the world on their backs.

1232
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 4: Your wife has. There's so many people that rely on her.

1233
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:50,080
Speaker 4: There's so many people that rely on her, So sometimes

1234
00:59:50,240 --> 00:59:53,080
Speaker 4: they just want to complain about something and that's okay,

1235
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:56,080
Speaker 4: that's okay, it's okay. Who else are they going to

1236
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,480
Speaker 4: do it to? They might as well do it and

1237
00:59:57,560 --> 00:59:58,560
Speaker 4: you just listen.

1238
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:01,080
Speaker 1: I have to ask you both about this because I

1239
01:00:01,160 --> 01:00:04,520
Speaker 1: was so excited when the news came out and it

1240
01:00:04,800 --> 01:00:07,040
Speaker 1: just you know, it was it was so beautiful to

1241
01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:09,480
Speaker 1: see it go from where it started this but your

1242
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 1: proposal and now you're engaged and like that just I

1243
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:16,120
Speaker 1: can tell, I mean it just it feels just beautiful

1244
01:00:16,120 --> 01:00:18,240
Speaker 1: being in the same space with you both loving on

1245
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 1: each other, which is great. Uh, Selena, what was the proposal?

1246
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 3: Like, like we have a video of it, but I

1247
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:28,960
Speaker 3: want to save that for us and just keep that private.

1248
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 3: But basically, what I will share is that I thought

1249
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:37,919
Speaker 3: we had a shoot that day, and I had hair

1250
01:00:37,960 --> 01:00:43,640
Speaker 3: and makeup and I was doing my regular day. I

1251
01:00:43,680 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 3: get in the car and I'm thinking to myself, where

1252
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,480
Speaker 3: are we going, because at this point, I feel like

1253
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 3: I know a lot of the studios that I go to.

1254
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 3: And I just started getting a little frustrated because I

1255
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:59,480
Speaker 3: was like, this seems far right, just me and my

1256
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:03,680
Speaker 3: secure and he's laughing because he's just like, oh, it's

1257
01:01:03,840 --> 01:01:06,000
Speaker 3: just you know, I don't know, it's a new space.

1258
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:09,400
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, we get out. I just I

1259
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 3: walk in and all of a sudden, I see no

1260
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:14,920
Speaker 3: one's in the room and I just look at my

1261
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:21,360
Speaker 3: assistant and she just shuts the door, and I was like, uh,

1262
01:01:21,600 --> 01:01:24,360
Speaker 3: I like kind of walked on to, you know, the

1263
01:01:24,480 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 3: area that he had set up, and you know, I

1264
01:01:28,080 --> 01:01:30,640
Speaker 3: think you envision all the things that you would do

1265
01:01:30,720 --> 01:01:34,560
Speaker 3: and say when someone asks you, but it is actually

1266
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 3: the craziest feeling. It was really special. He said the

1267
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 3: sweetest things. But I also was so shocked that it

1268
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:48,920
Speaker 3: just felt unreal for a long time, and I don't know.

1269
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:52,040
Speaker 3: I've always dreamt of that moment, and he couldn't have

1270
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:55,440
Speaker 3: made it more perfect. And yeah, it was one of

1271
01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:57,320
Speaker 3: the best days of my life, for sure.

1272
01:01:57,640 --> 01:02:02,160
Speaker 2: I wasn't nervous until one second before. I was so

1273
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:04,760
Speaker 2: not nervous. I was doing work until one second.

1274
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:07,880
Speaker 4: I was approving masters for an album that was coming

1275
01:02:07,880 --> 01:02:11,400
Speaker 4: out that night, and then right when it happened, right

1276
01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:13,960
Speaker 4: when it was about to happen, I.

1277
01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 2: Said, oh shit, what the am I going to say?

1278
01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:20,120
Speaker 4: And I'm so good with words usually I can't remember anything.

1279
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:21,720
Speaker 4: If we didn't have a video of it, I wouldn't

1280
01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:24,320
Speaker 4: even remember what I said. You know, I had known

1281
01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 4: I was going to propose for it for so long,

1282
01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:31,080
Speaker 4: and I never cared about marriage. Wasn't a thing in

1283
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 4: my head. She cared about it so much, so I said, well,

1284
01:02:34,960 --> 01:02:36,960
Speaker 4: now I care about it because she cares about it.

1285
01:02:37,440 --> 01:02:42,240
Speaker 4: And I found myself not even thinking it was going

1286
01:02:42,280 --> 01:02:43,760
Speaker 4: to be a big deal till I was there.

1287
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 2: And then I said, holy shit, get married now.

1288
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:51,240
Speaker 4: And in the moments leading up to it, it's not

1289
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:54,880
Speaker 4: really real until it's real. I remember it was so

1290
01:02:54,920 --> 01:02:59,400
Speaker 4: special for me because it was special for her. And

1291
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:03,120
Speaker 4: then yeah, she said the two times you said that

1292
01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:04,600
Speaker 4: we're the best things in your life?

1293
01:03:04,640 --> 01:03:06,880
Speaker 2: Were that? And then I got you what a Burger?

1294
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:07,680
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1295
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:09,160
Speaker 2: What's this?

1296
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:14,680
Speaker 3: Whateverger is a restaurant chain that I'm not sure where

1297
01:03:14,720 --> 01:03:17,600
Speaker 3: they are, but they're not in California and they're not

1298
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:22,400
Speaker 3: in New York. And I love this chain so much

1299
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:25,800
Speaker 3: because there's a million in Texas where I'm from, and

1300
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 3: I love the biscuits, Texas toast and gravy. It's so

1301
01:03:31,000 --> 01:03:35,240
Speaker 3: good and we don't have that. And for Valentine's Day,

1302
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:38,880
Speaker 3: he surprised me, and this was it. This is all

1303
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:42,200
Speaker 3: we really did. I was on the phone and he

1304
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:47,840
Speaker 3: comes in with whataburger? And I literally look at him

1305
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:52,040
Speaker 3: like I'm freaking out. And he had someone apparently they

1306
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:56,600
Speaker 3: opened up in Vegas, and while we were talking, someone

1307
01:03:56,760 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 3: drove kept it warm and then.

1308
01:03:58,920 --> 01:03:59,959
Speaker 2: Nodkeep it warm.

1309
01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 4: I so I And what I did was I got

1310
01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:05,840
Speaker 4: all the parts to it and talk to the people

1311
01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:07,680
Speaker 4: there and figured out how I could reheat it the

1312
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:09,760
Speaker 4: best way. And I was reheating in all different ways,

1313
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:13,480
Speaker 4: putting it together. And then yeah, brought it to her

1314
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:16,400
Speaker 4: because to me, someone like self could have anything in

1315
01:04:16,440 --> 01:04:16,840
Speaker 4: the world.

1316
01:04:17,280 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 2: The best thing you could do.

1317
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:21,960
Speaker 4: She said it right after, she said, right when I

1318
01:04:21,960 --> 01:04:23,920
Speaker 4: gave it to her, She said, I can't believe you

1319
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:28,600
Speaker 4: listened and remembered my order and remembered all these things

1320
01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 4: in such an easy way, and then you just did it.

1321
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:34,280
Speaker 4: She said, That's what makes this gift so special is

1322
01:04:34,320 --> 01:04:37,400
Speaker 4: that you actually like listened to the things and it

1323
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:39,200
Speaker 4: goes such a long way.

1324
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:42,640
Speaker 3: That I did. Say then, my two favorite moments are

1325
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 3: the proposal and my burger. I just think I was

1326
01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:47,800
Speaker 3: just so far He's done wonderful things.

1327
01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:48,600
Speaker 1: That's brilliant.

1328
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:51,840
Speaker 4: I was just thinking so crazy. Did you know we

1329
01:04:51,840 --> 01:04:54,439
Speaker 4: were born within ten minutes from each other?

1330
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:55,320
Speaker 3: Really?

1331
01:04:55,680 --> 01:04:56,200
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1332
01:04:56,400 --> 01:04:57,000
Speaker 3: The day?

1333
01:04:57,120 --> 01:04:58,960
Speaker 2: No, no, no place.

1334
01:04:59,480 --> 01:05:01,280
Speaker 3: Oh she was born in Texas.

1335
01:05:01,360 --> 01:05:04,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I was born right near her, like ten fifteen

1336
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:04,760
Speaker 4: minutes away.

1337
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:07,920
Speaker 1: And you never met in Texas ever that no, he can't.

1338
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:09,760
Speaker 2: I don't claim Texas.

1339
01:05:10,360 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 4: I was born in Texas, but I grew up in Virginia,

1340
01:05:12,360 --> 01:05:14,240
Speaker 4: I claimed, she claims tex.

1341
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:17,800
Speaker 2: Do you remember your proposal?

1342
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:20,720
Speaker 1: Of course I remember my proposal. It was it was

1343
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:24,840
Speaker 1: very I would say I was definitely impacted by lots

1344
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:29,120
Speaker 1: of social media trends, for sure. In my first chapter

1345
01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:31,520
Speaker 1: of my second book, which is all about love. I

1346
01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:36,400
Speaker 1: talk about how I would redo my proposal because so

1347
01:05:36,600 --> 01:05:38,560
Speaker 1: not that I didn't like. It was perfect for the time,

1348
01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:42,320
Speaker 1: but it's so wasn't us.

1349
01:05:43,880 --> 01:05:44,320
Speaker 2: I'll tell it.

1350
01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:46,600
Speaker 1: It's embarrassing, but I'll tell it. I'll tell it. So

1351
01:05:47,080 --> 01:05:49,240
Speaker 1: we were walking down one of our favorite walking paths

1352
01:05:49,240 --> 01:05:51,840
Speaker 1: on the bank of the Thames in London, and we're

1353
01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:54,520
Speaker 1: walking down. I told Radi that we were going to

1354
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:56,440
Speaker 1: a dinner with my family and it was in a

1355
01:05:56,560 --> 01:05:59,640
Speaker 1: nice place. So she dressed up and everything, and we

1356
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:02,560
Speaker 1: come out and then this random guy out of nowhere

1357
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:04,840
Speaker 1: walks out with the bouquet flowers in massive one. He

1358
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:06,560
Speaker 1: hands it to her and then I had an a

1359
01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:08,640
Speaker 1: cappella group seeing Bruno Mars.

1360
01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 2: It was really sweet. They were great.

1361
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:14,640
Speaker 1: They were very talented. And then I got down on

1362
01:06:14,640 --> 01:06:16,280
Speaker 1: one knee and then I asked her to marry me,

1363
01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:19,120
Speaker 1: and thankfully, I was crying the whole time. Thankfully she

1364
01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:21,760
Speaker 1: said yes. But I tell that story to say it

1365
01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:23,360
Speaker 1: could have been anyone's proposal.

1366
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 2: And I had.

1367
01:06:25,640 --> 01:06:28,480
Speaker 1: Food brought in from her favorite restaurant, but by the

1368
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:30,600
Speaker 1: time I got there it was cold and it was

1369
01:06:30,640 --> 01:06:33,640
Speaker 1: I didn't do what you did. Benny sassed up and

1370
01:06:33,680 --> 01:06:36,080
Speaker 1: then when we walked around the corner, there was a

1371
01:06:36,120 --> 01:06:40,160
Speaker 1: white horse drawn carriage that took us around the city.

1372
01:06:40,360 --> 01:06:43,200
Speaker 1: But then when we got so then we were going

1373
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:44,720
Speaker 1: back to her parents on the train to tell her

1374
01:06:44,720 --> 01:06:46,640
Speaker 1: parents what had happened, and I told them I was

1375
01:06:46,680 --> 01:06:49,080
Speaker 1: proposing that night. But we were going to hers and

1376
01:06:49,120 --> 01:06:50,680
Speaker 1: we got to her house and her parents opened the

1377
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:52,720
Speaker 1: door and they looked around and they were like, what

1378
01:06:52,800 --> 01:06:56,040
Speaker 1: did he do to you? Because she had hives all

1379
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:58,600
Speaker 1: over her face. Because I didn't know she was allergic

1380
01:06:58,600 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 1: to your horses, and she didn't know either, And so

1381
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:03,480
Speaker 1: that was the night we figured out that she was

1382
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:08,280
Speaker 1: allergic to And so that story reminded me that I

1383
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:09,600
Speaker 1: didn't know her but I didn't.

1384
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:14,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, we thought, Yeah, I was trying.

1385
01:07:14,800 --> 01:07:15,840
Speaker 1: I was trying really hard.

1386
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:17,280
Speaker 2: No, but it's one of that.

1387
01:07:17,360 --> 01:07:19,440
Speaker 1: We've been together for twelve years and married for nine,

1388
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:21,400
Speaker 1: so we're doing all right. But I look back on

1389
01:07:21,480 --> 01:07:23,160
Speaker 1: it and I look at how much of my life

1390
01:07:23,280 --> 01:07:27,920
Speaker 1: was just impacted by the world of love, and now,

1391
01:07:27,960 --> 01:07:30,560
Speaker 1: knowing my wife as deeply as I do, I would

1392
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:32,480
Speaker 1: do it completely differently. So I'm trying to convince her

1393
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:36,080
Speaker 1: to renew our vows and our ten years and also

1394
01:07:36,080 --> 01:07:39,320
Speaker 1: because our friends have changed, Like we got married nearly

1395
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:40,000
Speaker 1: ten years ago.

1396
01:07:40,080 --> 01:07:43,440
Speaker 3: Now we moved your life, Yeah.

1397
01:07:43,320 --> 01:07:44,800
Speaker 1: So much has changed, and so I'm like the people

1398
01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:47,720
Speaker 1: I want to celebrate my did you even have the podcast? No? No,

1399
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:50,760
Speaker 1: no nothing, no no no, When did you have the podcast?

1400
01:07:51,040 --> 01:07:52,680
Speaker 1: Podcast is six years old? Yeah?

1401
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:54,640
Speaker 2: It wasn't she on like your first ever episode?

1402
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:58,000
Speaker 1: She was my first episode? Yeah, my wife's my first episode. Yeah.

1403
01:07:57,800 --> 01:07:58,440
Speaker 3: So sweet.

1404
01:07:58,440 --> 01:07:59,400
Speaker 2: But yeah, we'll do it again.

1405
01:07:59,400 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 1: And I think it's great reminder of just how much

1406
01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:04,800
Speaker 1: we evolve and mature in relationships and how it's okay

1407
01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:06,520
Speaker 1: to look back and go, hey, like, you.

1408
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:07,720
Speaker 3: Know, that's a great story.

1409
01:08:07,800 --> 01:08:10,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a fun story. It's a fun story. But

1410
01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:12,560
Speaker 1: but yeah, no, I'm so happy to hear about how

1411
01:08:12,600 --> 01:08:16,680
Speaker 1: beautiful this proposal was. You nailed it, Benny, You're the man.

1412
01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:19,960
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's it's beautiful to hear. And I mean,

1413
01:08:20,120 --> 01:08:22,240
Speaker 1: last time we were together, Bennie, youre talking about wedding planning.

1414
01:08:22,760 --> 01:08:23,519
Speaker 2: How's that going?

1415
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:28,760
Speaker 3: We have not even begun because I think for right

1416
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:31,160
Speaker 3: now there's just so much going on. I have to

1417
01:08:31,200 --> 01:08:34,680
Speaker 3: go and shoot a series for a while, and I

1418
01:08:34,680 --> 01:08:38,080
Speaker 3: don't know, we'll just see we're out any rush and

1419
01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:38,960
Speaker 3: I'm excited.

1420
01:08:40,160 --> 01:08:43,479
Speaker 4: Yes, I don't even care about the next time. No,

1421
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:46,640
Speaker 4: it's no, but like we're honestly, we're so we've been

1422
01:08:46,680 --> 01:08:48,920
Speaker 4: doing so much stuff we haven't even gotten to really

1423
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:53,360
Speaker 4: just like so it's like, I think we're looking forward

1424
01:08:53,439 --> 01:08:55,439
Speaker 4: to doing that in New York a little bit.

1425
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:57,519
Speaker 1: And what does that look like for both of you?

1426
01:08:57,600 --> 01:08:59,000
Speaker 1: Just you two spending time together.

1427
01:08:59,200 --> 01:08:59,479
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1428
01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:03,880
Speaker 3: He's very good at like organizing and planning, and I'm

1429
01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:06,320
Speaker 3: very visual, So I'm like, this is what I like,

1430
01:09:06,560 --> 01:09:09,400
Speaker 3: and this and this, and then he figures out how to.

1431
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:12,240
Speaker 4: It'll be whatever she's already told me the types of

1432
01:09:12,320 --> 01:09:14,400
Speaker 4: things she likes and wants for a wedding.

1433
01:09:14,520 --> 01:09:15,280
Speaker 3: It'll be fun.

1434
01:09:15,400 --> 01:09:20,000
Speaker 1: I love it. You both obviously got back into the

1435
01:09:20,040 --> 01:09:23,920
Speaker 1: studio together recorded an amazing album. I got to listen

1436
01:09:23,960 --> 01:09:27,120
Speaker 1: to bits of it. Was it was an interesting process,

1437
01:09:27,120 --> 01:09:29,000
Speaker 1: but I'll tell you about that offline, but I got

1438
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:31,559
Speaker 1: to listen to it, and what I loved was I

1439
01:09:31,600 --> 01:09:34,240
Speaker 1: was surprised. I thought it was going to be about

1440
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:37,280
Speaker 1: your relationship, but it sounded that it was about a

1441
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:40,960
Speaker 1: history of your life setting and it felt like a

1442
01:09:41,040 --> 01:09:41,800
Speaker 1: history of love.

1443
01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:47,599
Speaker 3: But the interesting part is it actually has multiple different stories. Yeah,

1444
01:09:47,640 --> 01:09:51,360
Speaker 3: some of the songs are actually about, you know, his

1445
01:09:51,640 --> 01:09:55,719
Speaker 3: past relationships. So I think that it was really special

1446
01:09:55,800 --> 01:09:58,639
Speaker 3: because we were able to talk about those kind of

1447
01:09:58,680 --> 01:10:02,799
Speaker 3: emotions and feeling and not a lot of people maybe

1448
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:07,960
Speaker 3: feel that comfortable doing that with a partner, but I

1449
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:10,559
Speaker 3: don't know. We told each other all kinds of things

1450
01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:12,800
Speaker 3: like I would if I was in a session with

1451
01:10:12,920 --> 01:10:17,200
Speaker 3: someone I trusted, and so yeah, you'd be surprised. I mean,

1452
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:22,240
Speaker 3: of course it's not all about you know, rainbows and sunshine,

1453
01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:26,120
Speaker 3: but it's it's real and I and I think these

1454
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:29,120
Speaker 3: are all feelings people have felt before, and that's what

1455
01:10:29,160 --> 01:10:31,879
Speaker 3: we really wanted is people to connect to the music,

1456
01:10:31,960 --> 01:10:34,519
Speaker 3: whether you know you like it or not. We're just

1457
01:10:34,560 --> 01:10:37,519
Speaker 3: stoked that we got to make album that we're proud.

1458
01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:38,959
Speaker 1: That's beautiful.

1459
01:10:39,200 --> 01:10:41,080
Speaker 4: I feel like the thing that's so cool about it

1460
01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:44,680
Speaker 4: is I've been fortunate enough to make a lot of

1461
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:49,320
Speaker 4: songs in my day and people come up to me

1462
01:10:49,400 --> 01:10:52,000
Speaker 4: all the time and they say, this song changed my

1463
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:54,720
Speaker 4: life because I would you know, I was going through

1464
01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:57,679
Speaker 4: the same thing, and sometimes it is what I wrote about.

1465
01:10:57,720 --> 01:11:00,400
Speaker 4: And sometimes they think the meaning is not thing of

1466
01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:02,400
Speaker 4: what I wrote about. But that's the best part about

1467
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:05,400
Speaker 4: music that it hits you. It's like music is one

1468
01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:07,760
Speaker 4: of the senses. It's like food. It's like like there's

1469
01:11:07,760 --> 01:11:10,720
Speaker 4: certain things, certain smells, certain songs. They bring you back

1470
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:14,920
Speaker 4: to a time immediately, Okay, Like you're immediately transported. And

1471
01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:17,800
Speaker 4: it's so cool that everybody can be listening to the

1472
01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:21,479
Speaker 4: same song and have a completely different relationship with it.

1473
01:11:22,320 --> 01:11:23,920
Speaker 2: I feel like that's so cool.

1474
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:26,920
Speaker 1: What was it like going from working together that first

1475
01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:28,639
Speaker 1: time to this time? Like, what was different?

1476
01:11:29,560 --> 01:11:32,080
Speaker 3: What was different is I never allowed him in the room.

1477
01:11:32,320 --> 01:11:34,720
Speaker 2: I can kiss her now.

1478
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:37,200
Speaker 3: And I just I have liked to record a loone.

1479
01:11:37,439 --> 01:11:41,680
Speaker 4: What's really different is I feel like we got to

1480
01:11:41,720 --> 01:11:43,680
Speaker 4: talk about stuff that you would never talk about as

1481
01:11:43,720 --> 01:11:46,719
Speaker 4: an artist if it wasn't with her partner being next

1482
01:11:46,720 --> 01:11:50,000
Speaker 4: to her. And honestly, I would take out I would

1483
01:11:50,080 --> 01:11:52,880
Speaker 4: just write everything she said. Sometimes you wake up from

1484
01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:54,719
Speaker 4: a dream and she's like, I have this terrible dream

1485
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:56,120
Speaker 4: and this is what it was, and blah blah blah.

1486
01:11:56,280 --> 01:11:59,320
Speaker 4: I write it down then it becomes a song. Well,

1487
01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:04,640
Speaker 4: it was so cool being able to I don't know,

1488
01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:05,599
Speaker 4: it was like therapy.

1489
01:12:05,920 --> 01:12:07,439
Speaker 1: Well, you were saying to me when we spoke on

1490
01:12:07,479 --> 01:12:09,160
Speaker 1: the phone, I think it was last week. You were

1491
01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:11,599
Speaker 1: saying that there was just it was like a safe

1492
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:12,200
Speaker 1: space to.

1493
01:12:12,160 --> 01:12:12,960
Speaker 2: Be say whatever.

1494
01:12:13,400 --> 01:12:15,200
Speaker 4: You could say whatever you want. There's certain things you

1495
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:18,440
Speaker 4: wouldn't be able to say if you were if I was, Hey, babelake,

1496
01:12:18,479 --> 01:12:21,719
Speaker 4: I just want that she'd be like with But if somehow,

1497
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:24,120
Speaker 4: like when I'm playing chords while we're saying it, it's.

1498
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:26,799
Speaker 3: Like, oh, okay, a great story.

1499
01:12:26,880 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you can just talk about things and you're

1500
01:12:29,439 --> 01:12:31,720
Speaker 4: more open. It's like a therapy session. It's like it's

1501
01:12:31,760 --> 01:12:34,880
Speaker 4: a safe place and like it was cool to learn

1502
01:12:34,960 --> 01:12:36,800
Speaker 4: things about her that I don't know if I would

1503
01:12:36,840 --> 01:12:39,679
Speaker 4: have learned ever or as soon as I did.

1504
01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:42,880
Speaker 1: Did he bring you closer making the album? Like what

1505
01:12:42,960 --> 01:12:45,720
Speaker 1: was it like being together? Then making an album together and.

1506
01:12:45,680 --> 01:12:49,599
Speaker 3: Being absolutely we were able to share things with each

1507
01:12:49,640 --> 01:12:53,720
Speaker 3: other and she would listen to my doubts and he

1508
01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:58,200
Speaker 3: would give me great notes and it was never criticizing.

1509
01:12:58,320 --> 01:13:01,120
Speaker 3: It was always coming from a really mental place. And

1510
01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:05,080
Speaker 3: I do I think it absolutely has brought us closer,

1511
01:13:05,120 --> 01:13:08,519
Speaker 3: but that's also time and spending it with him.

1512
01:13:08,680 --> 01:13:10,680
Speaker 4: It's yeah, also we got to spend so much more

1513
01:13:10,720 --> 01:13:14,200
Speaker 4: time together. Yeah, because our workday's got to blend a little.

1514
01:13:14,479 --> 01:13:16,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great excuse to spend time to Yeah,

1515
01:13:16,800 --> 01:13:18,360
Speaker 1: I'm almos trying to find ways to work more with

1516
01:13:18,439 --> 01:13:20,240
Speaker 1: my wife, and I'm just trying to come up with

1517
01:13:20,240 --> 01:13:20,880
Speaker 1: a new excuse me.

1518
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:22,160
Speaker 2: I know, that's all I wanted.

1519
01:13:22,560 --> 01:13:24,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's all I would do it too. And

1520
01:13:24,200 --> 01:13:26,719
Speaker 1: you had some amazing collapse as well on the album.

1521
01:13:27,040 --> 01:13:30,040
Speaker 1: Obviously you've launched the song with Gracie and yeah's amazing.

1522
01:13:30,360 --> 01:13:35,120
Speaker 3: Oh my, I'm so happy that she's She was just

1523
01:13:35,160 --> 01:13:38,800
Speaker 3: such a doll and so talented. And you've known her

1524
01:13:38,960 --> 01:13:41,280
Speaker 3: so I shouldn't say that since she was like thirteen,

1525
01:13:41,400 --> 01:13:42,240
Speaker 3: but I love her.

1526
01:13:42,920 --> 01:13:44,360
Speaker 2: Did you interview her yet? No?

1527
01:13:44,360 --> 01:13:46,479
Speaker 1: No, I haven't. Yeah, you've been a fan for a while.

1528
01:13:46,600 --> 01:13:48,439
Speaker 2: I've known her since she was fourteen.

1529
01:13:48,760 --> 01:13:49,080
Speaker 1: Wow.

1530
01:13:49,360 --> 01:13:51,920
Speaker 4: So to see where I put her on an album

1531
01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:54,759
Speaker 4: like five years ago, wow, So like to see where she's.

1532
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:55,799
Speaker 2: Gone is so cool.

1533
01:13:56,040 --> 01:13:59,120
Speaker 4: And you know, I'm always one who like loves new talent,

1534
01:13:59,400 --> 01:14:02,400
Speaker 4: new artist, and she's great, just such a great point

1535
01:14:02,439 --> 01:14:06,519
Speaker 4: of view. Her writing comes from such a good place

1536
01:14:06,640 --> 01:14:09,240
Speaker 4: and it's like I love people where it feels like

1537
01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:10,920
Speaker 4: they're like and seeing it as it too, where it

1538
01:14:10,920 --> 01:14:12,920
Speaker 4: feels like they're just kind of talking to you and

1539
01:14:12,920 --> 01:14:14,479
Speaker 4: then they're like, oh wait, I'm listening to a song,

1540
01:14:14,560 --> 01:14:17,680
Speaker 4: but like what what you know? Yeah, it's just you know,

1541
01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:20,439
Speaker 4: making the album with her, I felt like it taught me.

1542
01:14:20,520 --> 01:14:23,559
Speaker 4: I was just like, we're really good at communicating with

1543
01:14:23,600 --> 01:14:26,400
Speaker 4: each other and saying like and setting boundaries and saying

1544
01:14:26,400 --> 01:14:29,320
Speaker 4: when we like something, when we don't like something, yeah.

1545
01:14:29,120 --> 01:14:30,560
Speaker 1: How do you do that when you're in a relationship

1546
01:14:30,520 --> 01:14:32,120
Speaker 1: You're like, I just don't like the sound of that.

1547
01:14:32,160 --> 01:14:32,559
Speaker 1: Like that.

1548
01:14:32,880 --> 01:14:36,000
Speaker 3: We're both I think it comes down to ego, and

1549
01:14:36,080 --> 01:14:39,879
Speaker 3: we both don't really have that. So if we disagree

1550
01:14:39,920 --> 01:14:43,439
Speaker 3: on something, it's like, okay, agree to disgrace, Like that's fine.

1551
01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:46,120
Speaker 3: But yeah, of course if I say I don't know

1552
01:14:46,160 --> 01:14:49,320
Speaker 3: if I like that, he most of the time doesn't

1553
01:14:49,320 --> 01:14:54,280
Speaker 3: even question it and just just really receptive to my Yeah,

1554
01:14:54,320 --> 01:14:56,040
Speaker 3: we just don't have an ego, so it doesn't matter.

1555
01:14:56,280 --> 01:14:58,000
Speaker 3: He could say no, I don't like it, and I'd

1556
01:14:58,000 --> 01:15:00,599
Speaker 3: be like, Okay, that's amazing.

1557
01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:01,720
Speaker 2: What are you hoping that?

1558
01:15:02,160 --> 01:15:03,880
Speaker 1: Is there a song there that you're really excited for

1559
01:15:04,280 --> 01:15:05,839
Speaker 1: fans to hear or anything specific.

1560
01:15:06,040 --> 01:15:09,679
Speaker 4: I want people to hear the whole body of work,

1561
01:15:09,680 --> 01:15:11,880
Speaker 4: and like I don't really think about music like that.

1562
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:16,320
Speaker 4: I make it for myself and luckily people happen to

1563
01:15:16,479 --> 01:15:18,840
Speaker 4: like some of it. And we started this thing in

1564
01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:22,200
Speaker 4: our room and we recorded the whole album in the

1565
01:15:22,280 --> 01:15:24,559
Speaker 4: house and with.

1566
01:15:24,439 --> 01:15:26,400
Speaker 1: Our fact that's so intimate. That's have you ever done

1567
01:15:26,439 --> 01:15:26,880
Speaker 1: that before?

1568
01:15:27,439 --> 01:15:27,920
Speaker 2: Not like this?

1569
01:15:28,040 --> 01:15:31,559
Speaker 4: No, no, And it was like it kind of blurred

1570
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:35,360
Speaker 4: reality a little. It was the most fun I ever had,

1571
01:15:35,400 --> 01:15:40,600
Speaker 4: and I just like wanted a piece of music to

1572
01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:42,400
Speaker 4: be able to I don't know one day, like show

1573
01:15:42,439 --> 01:15:44,720
Speaker 4: our kids and be like look at this, like look

1574
01:15:44,720 --> 01:15:47,320
Speaker 4: at this thing mommy and Daddy made, and it was

1575
01:15:47,360 --> 01:15:50,479
Speaker 4: like I can't believe it, Like it's so cool to me.

1576
01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:52,760
Speaker 4: I don't care what happens with it. I was just

1577
01:15:52,800 --> 01:15:57,600
Speaker 4: like so excited to do this with the person I

1578
01:15:57,680 --> 01:16:00,160
Speaker 4: love and freeze a moment in time in a way

1579
01:16:00,160 --> 01:16:02,720
Speaker 4: that not a lot of people have the ability to do,

1580
01:16:02,840 --> 01:16:06,640
Speaker 4: and like we had, we were lucky enough to do that.

1581
01:16:07,080 --> 01:16:09,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, Selena, you mentioned earlier always wanting to be a

1582
01:16:09,720 --> 01:16:12,479
Speaker 1: mom and Thenny just mentioned kids. Is that are you

1583
01:16:12,520 --> 01:16:15,120
Speaker 1: both like big family, big lots of kids?

1584
01:16:15,400 --> 01:16:18,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I don't know what will happen, obviously,

1585
01:16:18,880 --> 01:16:22,320
Speaker 3: but I I love children. I mean I've been an

1586
01:16:22,439 --> 01:16:28,360
Speaker 3: eleven year old sister that I absolutely adore and I'm

1587
01:16:28,600 --> 01:16:33,320
Speaker 3: still doing wizards this this far along because i love children.

1588
01:16:33,400 --> 01:16:36,160
Speaker 3: I love making them laugh. They're just so sweet. So

1589
01:16:36,840 --> 01:16:41,160
Speaker 3: absolutely when that day comes, I'm so excited for It's funny.

1590
01:16:41,200 --> 01:16:43,240
Speaker 4: We'll be at We'll be at like a gathering or

1591
01:16:43,240 --> 01:16:46,720
Speaker 4: a party. And not many people know this, but like

1592
01:16:47,080 --> 01:16:49,880
Speaker 4: Selena is like the ultimate level of shy, like the

1593
01:16:50,080 --> 01:16:53,760
Speaker 4: ultimate ultimate ultimate level of shy, Like couldn't.

1594
01:16:53,439 --> 01:16:56,000
Speaker 3: I don't know a lot of people sometimes I get checked.

1595
01:16:55,720 --> 01:16:59,200
Speaker 4: It couldn't be more of like an introvert shy, which

1596
01:16:59,200 --> 01:17:01,160
Speaker 4: is crazy because she's the biggest star in the world

1597
01:17:01,160 --> 01:17:04,559
Speaker 4: and it's like I'm not when she walks into a

1598
01:17:04,640 --> 01:17:07,960
Speaker 4: room to him her main yeah, her main goal is

1599
01:17:07,960 --> 01:17:10,240
Speaker 4: to like disappear into the crowd.

1600
01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:10,880
Speaker 2: That's like her.

1601
01:17:11,160 --> 01:17:13,719
Speaker 4: Her goal is to just like everyone's it's my mom

1602
01:17:13,800 --> 01:17:16,200
Speaker 4: is very similar. My mom are very similar, and they're

1603
01:17:16,520 --> 01:17:18,559
Speaker 4: you know, they're never gonna there's a crowd of people.

1604
01:17:18,560 --> 01:17:21,160
Speaker 4: They're never gonna like be like how like me or

1605
01:17:21,240 --> 01:17:22,200
Speaker 4: probably you would do.

1606
01:17:22,280 --> 01:17:24,639
Speaker 2: We were like not like we're talking, they're not gonna

1607
01:17:24,680 --> 01:17:24,920
Speaker 2: do that.

1608
01:17:25,080 --> 01:17:28,080
Speaker 4: They're like wait and say like one thing throughout the

1609
01:17:28,160 --> 01:17:30,320
Speaker 4: night that winds up being like the most poignant or

1610
01:17:30,400 --> 01:17:32,720
Speaker 4: funny thing of the night, but like I'm gonna have

1611
01:17:32,840 --> 01:17:36,400
Speaker 4: diarrhea of the mouth, talk and everyone. And whenever there's

1612
01:17:36,520 --> 01:17:38,719
Speaker 4: kids at a place, it's the only time I see

1613
01:17:38,760 --> 01:17:42,000
Speaker 4: her do that. She immediately goes to kids and like

1614
01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:45,639
Speaker 4: has these conversations for like hours with the kids.

1615
01:17:45,640 --> 01:17:47,720
Speaker 2: That's taking care with the kids. And I think it's

1616
01:17:47,760 --> 01:17:48,720
Speaker 2: also I think it.

1617
01:17:48,720 --> 01:17:51,920
Speaker 4: Probably also has to do with like when you started

1618
01:17:51,920 --> 01:17:53,720
Speaker 4: doing this, you were a kid and that was your

1619
01:17:53,760 --> 01:17:56,120
Speaker 4: way to connect to people. And I feel like you

1620
01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:59,840
Speaker 4: still feel like you have that obligation to connect with

1621
01:18:00,160 --> 01:18:02,280
Speaker 4: like young kids because you made some You shaped so

1622
01:18:02,320 --> 01:18:02,960
Speaker 4: many young.

1623
01:18:02,760 --> 01:18:05,200
Speaker 2: People's lives, whether it was Barney, whether there.

1624
01:18:05,200 --> 01:18:07,880
Speaker 4: Was wizards, And I feel like you're still finding your

1625
01:18:07,920 --> 01:18:10,680
Speaker 4: way to do that. And it's so crazy just to

1626
01:18:10,800 --> 01:18:16,240
Speaker 4: see because she's transcended into so many different categories. It's

1627
01:18:16,240 --> 01:18:18,920
Speaker 4: so hard to call her like, you know, a pop star,

1628
01:18:19,280 --> 01:18:20,720
Speaker 4: this an actress, so.

1629
01:18:20,720 --> 01:18:22,519
Speaker 2: That you know, you don't know what to cars. There's

1630
01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:24,040
Speaker 2: so much of a multi hyphen it.

1631
01:18:24,120 --> 01:18:28,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you notice it sometimes when we see people,

1632
01:18:28,040 --> 01:18:31,479
Speaker 4: because you'll see a little girl come up to her crying.

1633
01:18:32,040 --> 01:18:35,360
Speaker 4: Then you'll see her older sister that's like twenty, then

1634
01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:38,559
Speaker 4: you'll see the mother, and then the grandmother. So like

1635
01:18:38,600 --> 01:18:41,920
Speaker 4: it's like she's hitting all these boxes in people's lives

1636
01:18:41,920 --> 01:18:45,880
Speaker 4: and touching so many people. And you know, she's such

1637
01:18:45,880 --> 01:18:48,360
Speaker 4: a hermit that she doesn't even realize.

1638
01:18:47,800 --> 01:18:48,719
Speaker 2: It all the time.

1639
01:18:49,280 --> 01:18:52,080
Speaker 4: And you know, I'm always reminding her of like what

1640
01:18:52,120 --> 01:18:54,559
Speaker 4: she's doing and how special it is, and how she's

1641
01:18:54,640 --> 01:18:59,200
Speaker 4: always been so you know, outspoken, and we'll always say

1642
01:18:59,200 --> 01:19:02,000
Speaker 4: what's on in her mind and is always you know,

1643
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:06,200
Speaker 4: just I just I just feel like she's There's not

1644
01:19:06,240 --> 01:19:11,320
Speaker 4: a lot of people who are like just absolutely authentically themselves,

1645
01:19:11,600 --> 01:19:14,160
Speaker 4: and like that's what draws me towards her more than

1646
01:19:14,280 --> 01:19:17,160
Speaker 4: anything else. She's always going to tell you how she's feeling.

1647
01:19:17,160 --> 01:19:19,880
Speaker 4: She's always going to be herself, she's never going to

1648
01:19:19,960 --> 01:19:21,120
Speaker 4: try to be somebody else.

1649
01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:27,760
Speaker 1: Well said, you know, I, Lovelena, I'm so grateful to

1650
01:19:27,800 --> 01:19:30,560
Speaker 1: you both for just opening your hearts.

1651
01:19:30,360 --> 01:19:33,759
Speaker 3: Being so with you, only with you.

1652
01:19:34,160 --> 01:19:35,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't believe you got her to say some

1653
01:19:35,720 --> 01:19:38,639
Speaker 4: of this stuff. She never said, very very she would

1654
01:19:38,680 --> 01:19:39,519
Speaker 4: never say any of this.

1655
01:19:40,000 --> 01:19:41,880
Speaker 1: Is there anything you didn't say that that you wanted

1656
01:19:41,960 --> 01:19:42,280
Speaker 1: to say?

1657
01:19:44,479 --> 01:19:50,240
Speaker 3: I actually am thinking. I just I'm just really grateful

1658
01:19:50,560 --> 01:19:55,280
Speaker 3: that people like you exist because you you bring so

1659
01:19:55,400 --> 01:20:00,559
Speaker 3: much joy to people and also understanding, you know, many

1660
01:20:00,640 --> 01:20:04,240
Speaker 3: different ways of life and navigating that, and I think

1661
01:20:04,280 --> 01:20:07,439
Speaker 3: you're a great example. So I just would like to

1662
01:20:07,439 --> 01:20:11,360
Speaker 3: say thank you. I trust you with that information and

1663
01:20:11,680 --> 01:20:14,839
Speaker 3: it's always a pleasure to be with you, So thanks

1664
01:20:14,840 --> 01:20:15,720
Speaker 3: for having us.

1665
01:20:16,000 --> 01:20:18,920
Speaker 1: You're both You're both just so special. You've always been.

1666
01:20:19,640 --> 01:20:21,880
Speaker 1: I've always said, Selena for years that you know no

1667
01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:24,160
Speaker 1: matter and those moments where I could tell you were

1668
01:20:24,560 --> 01:20:27,639
Speaker 1: shy or wanting to disappear, but always being so gracious

1669
01:20:27,680 --> 01:20:29,760
Speaker 1: and kind to me and my wife whenever we were

1670
01:20:29,800 --> 01:20:34,080
Speaker 1: together and making us feel comfortable even if you felt uncomfortable.

1671
01:20:34,400 --> 01:20:37,240
Speaker 1: And Benny, you know, just the wonderful conversations we've had

1672
01:20:37,280 --> 01:20:39,760
Speaker 1: over the last couple of years, and I feel like

1673
01:20:39,760 --> 01:20:42,519
Speaker 1: we've done everything. We've talked about so many different things,

1674
01:20:42,520 --> 01:20:44,600
Speaker 1: and we are both kind of like that, you know,

1675
01:20:44,680 --> 01:20:47,160
Speaker 1: back and forth, back and forth kind of people. But

1676
01:20:47,240 --> 01:20:49,559
Speaker 1: you've both done the final five before on the show,

1677
01:20:49,960 --> 01:20:51,880
Speaker 1: so we wanted to do something different with you both.

1678
01:20:52,280 --> 01:20:53,880
Speaker 1: We wanted to play a little couple's game.

1679
01:20:57,439 --> 01:20:59,640
Speaker 4: These, oh, I know exactly.

1680
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:02,600
Speaker 2: They're fun, fun questions.

1681
01:21:03,240 --> 01:21:04,720
Speaker 1: I'm not going to take what you just told me

1682
01:21:04,760 --> 01:21:09,680
Speaker 1: and turn it right. So we're gonna do where we're

1683
01:21:09,680 --> 01:21:11,400
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna ask you questions. You both have to

1684
01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:13,479
Speaker 1: write something down and then we'll reveal. So don't look

1685
01:21:13,479 --> 01:21:18,200
Speaker 1: at each other's answers. Question number one, if Benny would

1686
01:21:18,200 --> 01:21:20,360
Speaker 1: cook you anything in the world, Selena, what would he

1687
01:21:20,439 --> 01:21:22,720
Speaker 1: choose to cook for you? So both of you can

1688
01:21:22,760 --> 01:21:25,080
Speaker 1: write down. So, Bennie, if you're going to cook anything

1689
01:21:25,080 --> 01:21:26,840
Speaker 1: for Selena, what would it be?

1690
01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:28,040
Speaker 3: Oh?

1691
01:21:29,280 --> 01:21:31,560
Speaker 2: Like, what do I think she wants the most?

1692
01:21:33,240 --> 01:21:33,719
Speaker 3: A few?

1693
01:21:35,000 --> 01:21:35,600
Speaker 2: I think I know what.

1694
01:21:37,320 --> 01:21:38,120
Speaker 1: It's a hard question.

1695
01:21:38,160 --> 01:21:40,200
Speaker 2: It's a hard I think I know it.

1696
01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:44,080
Speaker 1: Three For anyone who doesn't know Bennie is an insane

1697
01:21:44,360 --> 01:21:45,240
Speaker 1: connoisseur of.

1698
01:21:45,160 --> 01:21:49,080
Speaker 3: Food, I know, Okay.

1699
01:21:49,920 --> 01:21:55,120
Speaker 2: I don't think it's going to be the same. That's three.

1700
01:21:59,160 --> 01:22:00,800
Speaker 3: That's actually that. That's what I wrote.

1701
01:22:00,920 --> 01:22:01,320
Speaker 2: That's what you.

1702
01:22:01,439 --> 01:22:04,640
Speaker 3: Oh you did, Yes, but I loved he makes this

1703
01:22:04,840 --> 01:22:07,360
Speaker 3: corn depth that I can just eat for breakfast lunch.

1704
01:22:07,400 --> 01:22:09,479
Speaker 1: And that's a good thing. That there's more than one thing.

1705
01:22:10,160 --> 01:22:11,679
Speaker 1: That's a good thing. Yeah, that's amazing.

1706
01:22:11,720 --> 01:22:12,000
Speaker 3: I love it.

1707
01:22:12,000 --> 01:22:13,920
Speaker 1: All right, Selina, if you would cook anything for Benny,

1708
01:22:13,960 --> 01:22:14,920
Speaker 1: what would you choose to cook?

1709
01:22:17,080 --> 01:22:17,640
Speaker 2: Okay?

1710
01:22:18,160 --> 01:22:23,400
Speaker 3: All right, oh my gosh, I do well?

1711
01:22:23,600 --> 01:22:26,080
Speaker 2: Is it not what I think you're answer? I think

1712
01:22:26,080 --> 01:22:26,960
Speaker 2: you're can say this.

1713
01:22:30,680 --> 01:22:32,599
Speaker 3: Because I like I got.

1714
01:22:35,560 --> 01:22:36,679
Speaker 1: You got it Benny already?

1715
01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:37,880
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think so.

1716
01:22:39,160 --> 01:22:48,679
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, three two one, Okay, there we go, order

1717
01:22:48,720 --> 01:22:49,240
Speaker 1: of pizza.

1718
01:22:49,560 --> 01:22:50,800
Speaker 2: You're doing good. This is great.

1719
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:54,200
Speaker 1: Okay, this one's this one's a bit more. I'm intrigued

1720
01:22:54,240 --> 01:22:55,720
Speaker 1: to see what comes out of this. It's not it's

1721
01:22:55,760 --> 01:22:57,559
Speaker 1: not about well you know each other. It's an interesting one.

1722
01:22:57,680 --> 01:23:01,200
Speaker 1: If your partner could master any skill instantly, what would

1723
01:23:01,200 --> 01:23:10,120
Speaker 1: it be? Selina is very confident. Everyone who's listening and

1724
01:23:10,160 --> 01:23:12,080
Speaker 1: not watching. It's like every time I ask a question

1725
01:23:12,120 --> 01:23:18,200
Speaker 1: in her pen hits the hits the board immediately. All right,

1726
01:23:18,600 --> 01:23:24,280
Speaker 1: what do we have? Three? Two one? Everything gets annoying.

1727
01:23:24,360 --> 01:23:26,240
Speaker 1: To be able to sleep through the night.

1728
01:23:26,600 --> 01:23:29,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what you would want, that's what you would want.

1729
01:23:29,840 --> 01:23:34,719
Speaker 3: Yeah. I thought it was saying if you could master

1730
01:23:34,800 --> 01:23:39,280
Speaker 3: a skill, yes, I'm sorry, he'll put on a video game,

1731
01:23:39,360 --> 01:23:41,760
Speaker 3: he will be well, he'll play basketball. He does well,

1732
01:23:41,960 --> 01:23:45,080
Speaker 3: he'll do like pro tools, and then he'll do like

1733
01:23:45,160 --> 01:23:46,000
Speaker 3: all this stuff.

1734
01:23:46,240 --> 01:23:47,960
Speaker 2: I feel like this is the skill she'd want to

1735
01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:50,280
Speaker 2: master to be able to sleep through the night. That's

1736
01:23:50,280 --> 01:23:50,840
Speaker 2: a real one.

1737
01:23:50,960 --> 01:23:54,360
Speaker 1: That's a lot of people are struggling. We've done a

1738
01:23:54,400 --> 01:23:57,400
Speaker 1: lot of episodes on sleep because that's a real challenge

1739
01:23:57,400 --> 01:24:00,160
Speaker 1: for a lot of people. Yeah, it's hard, especially as

1740
01:24:00,160 --> 01:24:01,680
Speaker 1: we get older. You wake up in the middle of

1741
01:24:01,680 --> 01:24:05,000
Speaker 1: the night and yeah, not fun. All right, Okay, Uh,

1742
01:24:05,640 --> 01:24:09,440
Speaker 1: what's your partner's hidden talent that no one knows about?

1743
01:24:09,800 --> 01:24:13,559
Speaker 3: Okay, if I'm gonna I'm gonna take this to Benny's level.

1744
01:24:15,280 --> 01:24:16,120
Speaker 2: What's her hitting?

1745
01:24:21,280 --> 01:24:23,080
Speaker 3: Not even if I spelled that right.

1746
01:24:23,320 --> 01:24:25,120
Speaker 1: That's okay, there's no spell check.

1747
01:24:25,479 --> 01:24:26,160
Speaker 2: But what's her.

1748
01:24:26,160 --> 01:24:31,479
Speaker 3: Hidden I don't really have one.

1749
01:24:31,520 --> 01:24:33,880
Speaker 4: I know there are all two public Oh, I know,

1750
01:24:34,080 --> 01:24:38,559
Speaker 4: I know. This is crazy.

1751
01:24:38,760 --> 01:24:39,880
Speaker 3: This is funny.

1752
01:24:40,720 --> 01:24:43,040
Speaker 1: I'm just loving the honesty, guys. You guys are really

1753
01:24:43,040 --> 01:24:44,000
Speaker 1: going there. It's feelful.

1754
01:24:44,080 --> 01:24:45,360
Speaker 3: We really like to be honest.

1755
01:24:45,479 --> 01:24:53,240
Speaker 1: Yeah no, but it's it's so, it's right, okay, Okay,

1756
01:24:53,439 --> 01:24:58,760
Speaker 1: three two one.

1757
01:25:00,439 --> 01:25:02,840
Speaker 2: She knows every episode of Friends by heart.

1758
01:25:04,560 --> 01:25:09,320
Speaker 4: She knows all of the lines, every line, and you

1759
01:25:09,400 --> 01:25:10,120
Speaker 4: could name.

1760
01:25:10,040 --> 01:25:13,080
Speaker 3: What episode did this happen? And I could tell you what?

1761
01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:13,639
Speaker 2: Wow?

1762
01:25:14,040 --> 01:25:18,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, whoa, it's crazy. I everyone watched the show one

1763
01:25:18,200 --> 01:25:19,000
Speaker 4: time before her.

1764
01:25:19,439 --> 01:25:20,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, same as me and Roddy.

1765
01:25:20,680 --> 01:25:23,240
Speaker 1: I didn't know. She knows it pretty well, and I'm like,

1766
01:25:24,000 --> 01:25:24,760
Speaker 1: I need to catch up.

1767
01:25:24,800 --> 01:25:25,080
Speaker 2: All right?

1768
01:25:25,080 --> 01:25:26,080
Speaker 1: That was good. I like that.

1769
01:25:26,360 --> 01:25:28,160
Speaker 2: What's both of you is perfect date night?

1770
01:25:29,360 --> 01:25:29,679
Speaker 3: Mmm?

1771
01:25:31,760 --> 01:25:33,120
Speaker 2: How real am I allowed to be?

1772
01:25:33,760 --> 01:25:33,880
Speaker 1: Uh?

1773
01:25:34,880 --> 01:25:37,519
Speaker 3: Just to be like the worst of not wanting to

1774
01:25:37,560 --> 01:25:37,800
Speaker 3: do it?

1775
01:25:40,720 --> 01:25:41,280
Speaker 1: Old married?

1776
01:25:41,600 --> 01:25:44,120
Speaker 2: I love it her idea of a perfect day night.

1777
01:25:44,200 --> 01:25:48,800
Speaker 3: It's like, oh, I have so many, but this one's just.

1778
01:25:52,040 --> 01:25:54,599
Speaker 1: Benny's planning the date night in his head right now.

1779
01:25:56,439 --> 01:25:57,879
Speaker 3: Mine's really simple.

1780
01:25:59,880 --> 01:26:04,000
Speaker 2: I never write, it's so weird.

1781
01:26:06,760 --> 01:26:07,240
Speaker 3: Texting.

1782
01:26:08,439 --> 01:26:10,559
Speaker 1: You both got good handwriting for people who don't write.

1783
01:26:10,560 --> 01:26:15,960
Speaker 3: There we're definitely not saying the same. This is going

1784
01:26:16,040 --> 01:26:18,800
Speaker 3: to be so nice and romantic, and mine is just.

1785
01:26:21,040 --> 01:26:24,200
Speaker 1: You guys literally reminded with me and rather Yeah, it's

1786
01:26:24,240 --> 01:26:25,559
Speaker 1: so funny, it's all right.

1787
01:26:25,680 --> 01:26:27,920
Speaker 2: Three two one reveal.

1788
01:26:28,680 --> 01:26:30,479
Speaker 3: Hot bene, food on.

1789
01:26:30,479 --> 01:26:34,519
Speaker 1: A couch, romantic dinner with some small thoughtful gesture than

1790
01:26:34,600 --> 01:26:35,880
Speaker 1: something I can't write.

1791
01:26:37,840 --> 01:26:43,599
Speaker 2: I was trying. You're right, they're both good dating.

1792
01:26:43,640 --> 01:26:47,920
Speaker 1: Now, all right, what is Benny like on a flight,

1793
01:26:48,360 --> 01:26:51,680
Speaker 1: because Benny notoriously does not She's never seen have you

1794
01:26:51,800 --> 01:26:52,360
Speaker 1: never done?

1795
01:26:53,120 --> 01:26:54,439
Speaker 3: He does not fly?

1796
01:26:55,280 --> 01:26:57,240
Speaker 2: Oh I thought I thought you told me you must

1797
01:26:57,280 --> 01:26:58,880
Speaker 2: have done it once. I thought you'd have done it,

1798
01:26:58,920 --> 01:27:02,679
Speaker 2: but not since we've been Wow. Yeah, that's a blank.

1799
01:27:02,840 --> 01:27:05,559
Speaker 2: Oh wow, I didn't know that. That's that.

1800
01:27:06,400 --> 01:27:08,880
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you think Benny will be like on

1801
01:27:08,920 --> 01:27:09,320
Speaker 1: a flight?

1802
01:27:09,720 --> 01:27:12,439
Speaker 3: I don't even know if I want to know, because

1803
01:27:12,600 --> 01:27:14,519
Speaker 3: I would be so worried about him.

1804
01:27:14,640 --> 01:27:14,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1805
01:27:15,200 --> 01:27:16,639
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, was I supposed to write? No?

1806
01:27:16,479 --> 01:27:20,160
Speaker 1: No, no, that's fine. No, for sure, it's a real.

1807
01:27:20,160 --> 01:27:22,560
Speaker 3: Real I just I think it's a big fear of this.

1808
01:27:23,080 --> 01:27:26,639
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's real. It's real. Makes sense, all right? Okay,

1809
01:27:26,680 --> 01:27:29,640
Speaker 1: a couple more. What's something your partner can do to

1810
01:27:29,680 --> 01:27:32,200
Speaker 1: make you laugh whenever you're in a mood? So even

1811
01:27:32,240 --> 01:27:34,240
Speaker 1: if you're in your worst mood, what can your partner

1812
01:27:34,280 --> 01:27:36,360
Speaker 1: do or what does your partner do that will always

1813
01:27:36,400 --> 01:27:36,960
Speaker 1: make you laugh?

1814
01:27:37,840 --> 01:27:38,640
Speaker 3: Ah?

1815
01:27:40,400 --> 01:27:43,000
Speaker 1: So far Bennie and Selena know each other very well.

1816
01:27:43,120 --> 01:27:44,080
Speaker 1: This is going really well.

1817
01:27:44,120 --> 01:27:45,680
Speaker 3: This is crazy.

1818
01:27:47,560 --> 01:27:50,800
Speaker 1: I like the commitment from both of you. Extremely competitive.

1819
01:27:52,600 --> 01:27:54,320
Speaker 1: So where Bennie, as you're writing, how did you used

1820
01:27:54,360 --> 01:27:56,040
Speaker 1: to get to New York to see Selina.

1821
01:27:56,080 --> 01:27:59,599
Speaker 2: Would you drive? What do you mean what you drive

1822
01:28:00,200 --> 01:28:02,439
Speaker 2: from here to New York? Yeah? I take the boat

1823
01:28:02,479 --> 01:28:03,040
Speaker 2: to Europe.

1824
01:28:03,320 --> 01:28:05,639
Speaker 1: Okay, so explain that journey to us.

1825
01:28:05,920 --> 01:28:07,799
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so long.

1826
01:28:08,320 --> 01:28:10,200
Speaker 4: It's like first you have to drive to New York

1827
01:28:10,240 --> 01:28:12,320
Speaker 4: and then you get on a boat for eight days

1828
01:28:12,600 --> 01:28:13,800
Speaker 4: and you're on the Titanic.

1829
01:28:14,320 --> 01:28:17,639
Speaker 1: That is amazing. That is real here all right, two one,

1830
01:28:17,760 --> 01:28:20,320
Speaker 1: go for it. Go and read it, Selena.

1831
01:28:20,439 --> 01:28:23,479
Speaker 3: It says dance or wrap or say a weird fact

1832
01:28:23,640 --> 01:28:26,040
Speaker 3: that has nothing to do with what we're talking about.

1833
01:28:26,360 --> 01:28:28,760
Speaker 2: That's what you're gonna That's what you do to make

1834
01:28:28,800 --> 01:28:29,960
Speaker 2: her love. That's what I.

1835
01:28:30,200 --> 01:28:31,800
Speaker 1: Oh, I did what I do to her to make

1836
01:28:31,800 --> 01:28:34,240
Speaker 1: her laugh? Oh no, no, I wanted what the other person.

1837
01:28:34,920 --> 01:28:38,000
Speaker 1: That's what you did, Selena, Right, that's what Bennye does. Yes, yeah,

1838
01:28:38,000 --> 01:28:40,200
Speaker 1: Bennie not because you wrapped as well. You're a good rapper.

1839
01:28:40,439 --> 01:28:42,120
Speaker 2: I did what I do to make her laugh.

1840
01:28:43,439 --> 01:28:45,120
Speaker 4: I said, I huger and then get on to her

1841
01:28:45,160 --> 01:28:46,679
Speaker 4: and then I do that little funny laugh.

1842
01:28:47,560 --> 01:28:48,200
Speaker 3: That's true.

1843
01:28:48,560 --> 01:28:51,599
Speaker 1: Okay. So what does Selena do that can make you laugh.

1844
01:28:51,960 --> 01:28:53,120
Speaker 2: Whenever she wants?

1845
01:28:53,520 --> 01:28:56,720
Speaker 1: She like Selena's proven to be the better listener right now.

1846
01:28:57,439 --> 01:28:58,320
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, so.

1847
01:28:59,720 --> 01:29:00,280
Speaker 1: We get on.

1848
01:29:00,840 --> 01:29:04,080
Speaker 2: What do you do that makes me laugh in any mood?

1849
01:29:04,120 --> 01:29:05,840
Speaker 1: Like whenever you're in any mood? Like, what can they do?

1850
01:29:05,920 --> 01:29:08,000
Speaker 1: Like yeah, like Roddy would burst down to song and

1851
01:29:08,080 --> 01:29:08,639
Speaker 1: dance like.

1852
01:29:08,960 --> 01:29:13,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think my existence makes you.

1853
01:29:14,720 --> 01:29:16,920
Speaker 4: She'll make like a like she does like this like

1854
01:29:17,880 --> 01:29:21,040
Speaker 4: little face and where she puts her head down and

1855
01:29:21,080 --> 01:29:24,000
Speaker 4: like looks at me and she's like, I can't even

1856
01:29:24,040 --> 01:29:26,920
Speaker 4: do it, but she'll do that. That'll make me laugh

1857
01:29:27,360 --> 01:29:29,479
Speaker 4: and you'll usually get on top of me and.

1858
01:29:29,840 --> 01:29:34,240
Speaker 3: No, but she actually, this is really funny. When I

1859
01:29:34,320 --> 01:29:38,200
Speaker 3: try to get somewhat like he did, it's like he

1860
01:29:38,320 --> 01:29:42,160
Speaker 3: can't take me seriously, so he'll smile and then I'll

1861
01:29:42,200 --> 01:29:45,000
Speaker 3: go from being like that's true.

1862
01:29:45,120 --> 01:29:48,400
Speaker 4: Whenever she starts to get like angry, she's like no,

1863
01:29:48,560 --> 01:29:51,479
Speaker 4: and I just laughed her because it's so hard to

1864
01:29:51,560 --> 01:29:52,439
Speaker 4: take her seriously.

1865
01:29:53,920 --> 01:29:56,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's usually how our fights.

1866
01:29:56,320 --> 01:29:58,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, Roddy hates it because whenever she gets angry, I'm like,

1867
01:29:58,640 --> 01:30:03,439
Speaker 1: you're so cute.

1868
01:30:00,840 --> 01:30:04,759
Speaker 2: I'm not cute.

1869
01:30:04,800 --> 01:30:07,960
Speaker 1: I love that. That's okay, all right, what's the one

1870
01:30:08,040 --> 01:30:12,439
Speaker 1: thing they can't live without apart from you? So about

1871
01:30:12,439 --> 01:30:14,600
Speaker 1: your partner? So, Benny, you're writing about Selena. Selena is

1872
01:30:14,600 --> 01:30:18,000
Speaker 1: wranging about you. What's one thing that apart from you?

1873
01:30:19,120 --> 01:30:27,640
Speaker 4: This couldn't be easier, guaranteed, What do you mean guaranteed?

1874
01:30:27,760 --> 01:30:30,519
Speaker 4: Easiest answer I could have ever thought of. That's the

1875
01:30:30,560 --> 01:30:32,800
Speaker 4: best question you could have ever asked me. I'm one

1876
01:30:32,840 --> 01:30:34,320
Speaker 4: hundred percent right.

1877
01:30:36,040 --> 01:30:39,920
Speaker 3: You can't. Oh, what.

1878
01:30:44,200 --> 01:30:44,720
Speaker 1: What is it?

1879
01:30:44,760 --> 01:30:45,000
Speaker 2: Three?

1880
01:30:45,120 --> 01:30:45,639
Speaker 1: Two one?

1881
01:30:46,080 --> 01:30:53,200
Speaker 3: Mom oh, space heater? That's true? Here, Okay, So I

1882
01:30:54,120 --> 01:30:58,040
Speaker 3: I have a very weird problem. It's not even a problem.

1883
01:30:58,120 --> 01:31:01,679
Speaker 3: It's just a me problem. I'm a very cold person.

1884
01:31:02,600 --> 01:31:07,240
Speaker 3: My temperature usually on my space heater is ninety and

1885
01:31:07,320 --> 01:31:10,320
Speaker 3: I let it go all over And if I get hot,

1886
01:31:10,360 --> 01:31:12,719
Speaker 3: I just opened the door and then close it again.

1887
01:31:12,840 --> 01:31:15,760
Speaker 3: It's so backwards, so weird. Hot.

1888
01:31:16,200 --> 01:31:19,880
Speaker 1: Everyone everyone's got a different diferent vibe. Trust me, office

1889
01:31:19,960 --> 01:31:23,080
Speaker 1: next door. The team's always arguing over what temperature the

1890
01:31:23,120 --> 01:31:25,960
Speaker 1: room's at. Some people really hot.

1891
01:31:26,120 --> 01:31:26,880
Speaker 3: We have a system.

1892
01:31:27,720 --> 01:31:29,280
Speaker 2: She always wants it hot.

1893
01:31:29,600 --> 01:31:30,080
Speaker 1: I love it.

1894
01:31:30,080 --> 01:31:30,360
Speaker 2: Okay.

1895
01:31:30,880 --> 01:31:36,400
Speaker 1: Uh, what's something the other person is really competitive about?

1896
01:31:37,160 --> 01:31:38,480
Speaker 2: What are you competitive?

1897
01:31:39,600 --> 01:31:43,000
Speaker 3: I'm really.

1898
01:31:43,280 --> 01:31:46,320
Speaker 2: No, I don't know what she's conte don't take Selena

1899
01:31:46,360 --> 01:31:46,799
Speaker 2: is Nott.

1900
01:31:47,080 --> 01:31:48,920
Speaker 4: I was going to I was going to say, you

1901
01:31:48,960 --> 01:31:52,080
Speaker 4: are about games, but then you don't care anymore, like

1902
01:31:52,120 --> 01:31:54,840
Speaker 4: you're competitive for like the first five minutes.

1903
01:31:54,640 --> 01:31:57,000
Speaker 3: And no, that's true, and then I'm starting to think

1904
01:31:57,479 --> 01:31:57,960
Speaker 3: that's okay.

1905
01:31:58,120 --> 01:32:00,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, like five true.

1906
01:32:01,439 --> 01:32:06,200
Speaker 1: I love it all right, So okay, last two questions. Actually,

1907
01:32:06,200 --> 01:32:09,080
Speaker 1: I'm going to go for the last one because you

1908
01:32:09,160 --> 01:32:12,720
Speaker 1: both are big on this. Have heard from Benny. What's

1909
01:32:13,000 --> 01:32:15,720
Speaker 1: the other person's most memorable gift they got you.

1910
01:32:18,360 --> 01:32:19,479
Speaker 3: That he's given me?

1911
01:32:19,640 --> 01:32:22,479
Speaker 2: Right, So the most memory one she gave me?

1912
01:32:22,600 --> 01:32:23,000
Speaker 1: Correct?

1913
01:32:23,120 --> 01:32:25,439
Speaker 3: Oh, there's so many, but.

1914
01:32:26,560 --> 01:32:29,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, the one there's no right right after.

1915
01:32:32,000 --> 01:32:35,400
Speaker 3: This is just the only one that I can think of.

1916
01:32:35,560 --> 01:32:42,639
Speaker 3: But there's so many. Yeah, Oh sorry, No I didn't.

1917
01:32:42,720 --> 01:32:44,280
Speaker 3: I just saw like a word.

1918
01:32:44,479 --> 01:32:49,880
Speaker 1: I love the commitments. It's amazing. You're the best. That's like,

1919
01:32:50,360 --> 01:32:51,639
Speaker 1: all right? Three? Two?

1920
01:32:51,640 --> 01:32:51,840
Speaker 3: One?

1921
01:32:51,840 --> 01:32:52,720
Speaker 1: Who's gonna all right?

1922
01:32:52,760 --> 01:32:55,200
Speaker 3: Talk about it? Oh that was a good.

1923
01:32:54,960 --> 01:32:56,360
Speaker 1: One, Okay, explain god?

1924
01:32:56,680 --> 01:32:59,240
Speaker 3: This what is a picture from a set of Will

1925
01:32:59,240 --> 01:33:02,760
Speaker 3: and Grace. I thought it was extremely thoughtful because that's

1926
01:33:02,800 --> 01:33:04,920
Speaker 3: one of my favorite shows, and you can see it

1927
01:33:04,920 --> 01:33:07,200
Speaker 3: in the background of almost all the episodes.

1928
01:33:07,280 --> 01:33:09,760
Speaker 4: No, no, I got her an actual piece of art

1929
01:33:09,800 --> 01:33:14,800
Speaker 4: that's in Willing Grace set. Yeah, I got I knew

1930
01:33:14,840 --> 01:33:20,160
Speaker 4: the guy my friend wrote it. And I got her

1931
01:33:20,439 --> 01:33:22,439
Speaker 4: for one of her birthday presents. I got her an

1932
01:33:22,479 --> 01:33:26,880
Speaker 4: actual painting that's hung up in Willing Grace. And when

1933
01:33:26,920 --> 01:33:28,439
Speaker 4: I gave it to her. The day I gave it

1934
01:33:28,479 --> 01:33:30,439
Speaker 4: to her, she was watching Willing Grace and it was.

1935
01:33:30,479 --> 01:33:31,200
Speaker 2: On the TV.

1936
01:33:31,800 --> 01:33:32,800
Speaker 3: It was so cool.

1937
01:33:33,000 --> 01:33:37,200
Speaker 4: And that gift and mine's a framed picture of our

1938
01:33:37,240 --> 01:33:39,800
Speaker 4: first text where we fell in love, like the first

1939
01:33:39,840 --> 01:33:41,400
Speaker 4: one where we decided we were going to go out

1940
01:33:41,439 --> 01:33:43,800
Speaker 4: on that date. She framed it and like made this

1941
01:33:43,880 --> 01:33:48,040
Speaker 4: like cute. She like made like like did all these designs.

1942
01:33:48,040 --> 01:33:50,320
Speaker 3: It's like macaroni and like glitter.

1943
01:33:50,560 --> 01:33:51,439
Speaker 2: It was so cute.

1944
01:33:51,680 --> 01:33:56,000
Speaker 1: That's a great gift. That was one amazing Selena Bennie,

1945
01:33:56,040 --> 01:34:00,160
Speaker 1: you are truly two of the most special people. I'm

1946
01:34:00,200 --> 01:34:02,960
Speaker 1: so glad you found each other and I am always

1947
01:34:03,040 --> 01:34:05,920
Speaker 1: rooting for you, guys, forever in your corner in every

1948
01:34:05,960 --> 01:34:08,880
Speaker 1: possible way. I love you both deeply and know that

1949
01:34:08,920 --> 01:34:12,759
Speaker 1: I'm always rooting for your love and sok you so genuinely,

1950
01:34:12,880 --> 01:34:14,400
Speaker 1: so grateful for you.

1951
01:34:14,439 --> 01:34:16,240
Speaker 3: Do you want me to get you out of these boards.

1952
01:34:16,000 --> 01:34:21,320
Speaker 1: Are Come on, I expected a or like a hug

1953
01:34:21,520 --> 01:34:24,679
Speaker 1: or some sort of emoji of bye.

1954
01:34:24,760 --> 01:34:26,559
Speaker 3: Now I know what I'm good at you for your birthday.

1955
01:34:26,760 --> 01:34:29,200
Speaker 3: He's obsessed with the thank you I love it.

1956
01:34:29,240 --> 01:34:30,679
Speaker 1: You can take them home, well.

1957
01:34:30,680 --> 01:34:34,479
Speaker 3: I love you, thank you for having Thank you so much.

1958
01:34:34,520 --> 01:34:36,599
Speaker 1: I hope that allowed you to share everything you wanted

1959
01:34:36,640 --> 01:34:36,920
Speaker 1: to say.

1960
01:34:39,080 --> 01:34:42,519
Speaker 2: I love it easy, we did it. Thanks guys. You

1961
01:34:42,520 --> 01:34:43,400
Speaker 2: guys are so fun.

1962
01:34:43,479 --> 01:34:46,719
Speaker 1: How was that? If you love this episode, you'll really

1963
01:34:46,840 --> 01:34:50,960
Speaker 1: enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner

1964
01:34:51,040 --> 01:34:54,720
Speaker 1: critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.

1965
01:34:55,160 --> 01:34:58,880
Speaker 3: My fears are only going to continue to show me

1966
01:34:58,920 --> 01:35:02,080
Speaker 3: what I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears,

1967
01:35:02,160 --> 01:35:05,799
Speaker 3: the more that I feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining wisdom,

1968
01:35:05,840 --> 01:35:07,600
Speaker 3: and I just want to keep doing that