1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to Stef. 2 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:19,840 Speaker 2: I never told your production of iHeartRadio, and welcome to 3 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 2: another edition of Happy Hour. As always with these, if 4 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 2: you are drinking whatever you're choosing to do so, please 5 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 2: do so responsibly. Samantha, what are you sipping on? 6 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 3: I am actually sipping on a soju cocktail that I 7 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 3: just made. Ooh milky because I added the Korean yogurts 8 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,199 Speaker 3: or the Asian yogurts. If you ever go to like 9 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 3: a legitimate Korean restaurant or anything, that'll usually have like 10 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,839 Speaker 3: a small probiotic yogurt drink. Okay, so I mixed that 11 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 3: with some strawberry sodrew and some gingerrell. 12 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 2: That sounds lovely. Is you refreshing? Yes, it's very refreshing. 13 00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: What are you drinking? 14 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 2: I am drinking a one of the wines my mom 15 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 2: got me lovely and there's a funny story behind this one. 16 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 2: So as always, I don't think we're gonna talk about anything, 17 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 2: uh sponsored, but but nothing we mentioned is currently sponsored. 18 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:17,080 Speaker 2: That's not why we're mentioning it. 19 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 1: I would love to be sponsored by some sojio people. 20 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 2: Hey, get in touch again, probably email or text is better. 21 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 2: What are you talking about my Okay? So my mom 22 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:33,959 Speaker 2: gives me wines from the local area pretty much every holiday, 23 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,960 Speaker 2: and this time when I came home, this particular wine 24 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 2: I had never had. I've had a lot of them. 25 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 2: She was telling me that she got it because she 26 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 2: struck up a conversation with a fellow at the bar 27 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,920 Speaker 2: who was doing a tasting and they really hit it off, 28 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 2: and he was like, you should get this one, and 29 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,080 Speaker 2: she kind of joking it was like I should have 30 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 2: gotten his. 31 00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 3: Number, okay, spicy, which was the first. 32 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 2: Time I've ever heard her joke about that, Like in 33 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 2: my whole life, it's amazing. Yeah, but she wanted me 34 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,080 Speaker 2: to let her know if it was any good, and 35 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 2: it is quite good. 36 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: She should find this man's number. 37 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 2: It was very funny. I was not expecting it at all. 38 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 2: And then she was telling me about some movies she 39 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,680 Speaker 2: watched that had a bunch of older women dating and 40 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,519 Speaker 2: she was like, you know, if I could find a 41 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,280 Speaker 2: guy like that. 42 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,239 Speaker 1: Wait, not The Golden Bachelor. 43 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 2: No, it wasn't. 44 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 3: Okay, it was not the gold If she watches I 45 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 3: tell hers all a. 46 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 2: Lie, that was definitely not her thing. I would be 47 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 2: beyond shocked. If I found out as well, would be interesting. 48 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 2: It would be interesting. This is true. Anyway, I think 49 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 2: this will be a shorter episode. I'm not sure, but 50 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 2: it is related to the holidays because the title of 51 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 2: this episode, I'm calling the Feminist is coming to Town 52 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 2: because we both come from conservative various small towns. As 53 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 2: we've talked about a lot, and I think it's kind 54 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:13,360 Speaker 2: of a joke, like when I come to town, my 55 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 2: mom's friends who are conservative will be like, oh, mannie, 56 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 2: she tell her this, or tell her this, like there 57 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 2: was kind of like joking and trying to row me up, 58 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,880 Speaker 2: which we talked about. That kind of happened to me 59 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 2: this last Thanksgiving with one of the guests there who 60 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:30,160 Speaker 2: kept directing comments towards me, which were not They weren't 61 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 2: like upsetting, but they were kind of rude. So it's 62 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 2: just kind of something I've grown used to. But since 63 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 2: the book has come out and my family did read it. 64 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 2: Your entire family, no, like my immediate family. I don't 65 00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 2: think my little brother did, but my older brother. 66 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: My mom O, your older brother read it. 67 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, and my older brother's chiance. Yes. You understand the 68 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,320 Speaker 2: important of this so much. 69 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: We need to talk about yes. 70 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 2: So first a very brief explanation of why this is 71 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 2: kind of a big interesting deal. My brothers are intense. 72 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 2: They're extremely passionate about politics, and one many of the 73 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 2: biggest fights we've had, even though we're liberal, we're all liberal, 74 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,160 Speaker 2: is that I am not liberal enough. They get really 75 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 2: angry at me. I say this in a way not 76 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,479 Speaker 2: to incite any anger, but they are very much Bernie Bros. 77 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 2: Like that kind of energy, and they get angry and 78 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 2: they scream in your face, and I'm not good at 79 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 2: Oh my whole family is not good with anger, So 80 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 2: I don't want to like, that's not a good way 81 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 2: to handle things. But I've also been known to not 82 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 2: be good at handling anger, so I don't want to 83 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 2: totally throw them under the bus. They are not listening, 84 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,280 Speaker 2: but if you are, I understand. I've done it too. 85 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 2: But it's not like I avoid it at all costs. 86 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 2: Even though we're generally on the same side. We just 87 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:09,799 Speaker 2: don't do well with it. So they read this book. 88 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:15,400 Speaker 2: My brother's fiance is also kind of in his She's 89 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 2: younger than him, she younger than me, but she's also 90 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,720 Speaker 2: kind of like in that realm, and I just it 91 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 2: was a very interesting vibe because all of a sudden 92 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:32,480 Speaker 2: it became like everything they said they would question me about, 93 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 2: and not necessarily in a bad way. Like sometimes it 94 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:39,039 Speaker 2: would be like, oh, well, you are the feminist, what 95 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:43,600 Speaker 2: do you think about this? Are Oh, I don't understand 96 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 2: how you can like this if you are feminists. Like 97 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:51,599 Speaker 2: everything was like and it just kind of became comical 98 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 2: in a way. I appreciated it, but I was also 99 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,960 Speaker 2: annoyed by it because one, this has been my job 100 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 2: for a long time. It's not like we talk about 101 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 2: our personal lives that much. We don't really have that relationship. 102 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:06,039 Speaker 2: But I have been doing this for a pretty long time. 103 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,839 Speaker 2: I generally can tell you what you're up to. But 104 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 2: this seemed to be news to them. But also it 105 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:20,359 Speaker 2: was just sort of funny because I think this is 106 00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 2: why we've talked about this so many times. But I 107 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 2: think this is why sometimes and me when I was younger, 108 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 2: you feel like you're a bad feminist, because they'd be like, well, 109 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 2: you like this movie, And it didn't come out accusing necessarily, 110 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 2: they were just sort of like perplexed. Yeah, And I 111 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 2: kind of wanted to go into a whole thing about 112 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 2: you know, if I didn't like anything that wasn't perfectly feminist, 113 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 2: which I don't think exists, then I'll live in a 114 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 2: dark space for the rest of my life, I guess. 115 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,919 Speaker 2: But it was just I didn't do that because I 116 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 2: knew I was going to get on some soapbox and 117 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 2: this is not what I needed. That's not what I needed. 118 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 2: I don't think that's what necessarily anybody wants. But it 119 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,280 Speaker 2: was just funny because I caught myself then after all 120 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:06,359 Speaker 2: these questions, being like, well, I really like this movie, 121 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 2: but you know, it's got this issue and this issue, 122 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 2: like you know, always trying to explain, which isn't necessarily bad. 123 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,920 Speaker 2: But it was just a very The dynamic totally had 124 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 2: shifted from the time before they read that book to 125 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:24,920 Speaker 2: the time after they read that book. And I feel 126 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 2: like my brother's fiance was trying very hard to be 127 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 2: very supportive, which I appreciated, but it also made me 128 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 2: nervous because she'd be like, oh, I believe her because 129 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 2: she's she's feminist, and I was like, oh no, wait, 130 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 2: just because wait, because you know, like yes, I feel 131 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:48,080 Speaker 2: like we were talking about alien specifically, and I was like, 132 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 2: you know, there's plenty of things I like and I 133 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 2: have femis takes on but that doesn't mean I don't 134 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 2: have like the like not opposite, but like I don't 135 00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 2: have critiques on it or like. It's more that I 136 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 2: have takes that are somewhat personal that do have research 137 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 2: involved usually and I do think that there's value to 138 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 2: what I was saying in that case. But it's also like, 139 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 2: don't going. I don't need this extra pressure for you 140 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,560 Speaker 2: to just watch a movie. If you want to watch it, 141 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 2: watch it and I can tell you why, what thoughts 142 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 2: I have about it? 143 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 1: Right, But. 144 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 3: I could understand though, like they're a little bit like 145 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,760 Speaker 3: a fear of like offending you and or trying to 146 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 3: make sure that they know that they want you to know. No, 147 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 3: I'm feminist, I'm with you, I'm not that guy, I'm 148 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:38,680 Speaker 3: not Ken. 149 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: I'm not Ken. I had an interesting. 150 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:55,520 Speaker 3: Reaction where so my family completely ignores it and we 151 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 3: don't act like it exists. They will make side jokes 152 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 3: every now and again, but essentially like because they don't 153 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 3: quite they don't know the depth. They assume that I'm 154 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 3: as Satan worshiping feminists who sacrifices babies. But like we 155 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 3: have gotten to the point of understanding, we're not gonna 156 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 3: talk about it. We're not gonna talk about politics. You 157 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 3: talk about your religion because that's your beliefs, and I'm 158 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 3: just gonna sit here and not say anything. Like right, 159 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 3: But like my partner's family, who are all pretty much 160 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 3: very liberal or some of them, like I think his 161 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:33,640 Speaker 3: father's like more recently so and like, so we're all 162 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,600 Speaker 3: on the same page that Mike. So we had someone 163 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,959 Speaker 3: that was a family member who came in and he's 164 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 3: still very conservative from what I gathered, and yet everybody 165 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,560 Speaker 3: was on edge that he was gonna say something that 166 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 3: was gonna offend me or something to me that was 167 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 3: gonna offend me. 168 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 1: So they were all like. 169 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 3: Oh god, oh God, my god, what's he gonna do, 170 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 3: what's he gonna do, And just like just waiting with 171 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,680 Speaker 3: baited breath and like're gonna take up for me immediately. 172 00:09:57,679 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: They were gonna defend me in every way. 173 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,800 Speaker 3: It was very It was very sweet, but they were 174 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 3: so like even my partner was like, what did he 175 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 3: say to you? Did he say something? Well, I didn't hear. 176 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 3: And then his mom would be like, what did he 177 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 3: say to you? Did he say something? That offended. 178 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 1: You please tell me and I'm like, no, what I promise, 179 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 1: And he. 180 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,880 Speaker 3: Was very very cautious in the conversation because it literally, 181 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 3: my partner has been amazing when I like us in 182 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 3: our book and very proud of our book and telling 183 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,800 Speaker 3: everybody about it, very proud, proud of what I do. 184 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 3: His family's the same way. They're very proud and like 185 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,760 Speaker 3: tell people about it. So sweet, support it, support me. 186 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 3: Immediately bought the book. I believe she gifted her sister 187 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,040 Speaker 3: the book like it was very sweet. Yeah, so like 188 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 3: all of those things, but my book was sitting there, 189 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,200 Speaker 3: and at one point I was asked by this family, 190 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 3: remember what do you do? And I'm like explaining, Okay, 191 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 3: here we go. I'm on a podcast. I do women's 192 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 3: issues because I like, I just very I'm sorry, coded 193 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 3: like but not want to bring in all the questions 194 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 3: from this and trying to like just ease it. I'm like, 195 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 3: just you know, like, uh, because it's say intersectional feminist 196 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 3: will be a conversation in itself, I know it because 197 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,120 Speaker 3: the first I'm gonna have to explain what that is. 198 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:10,960 Speaker 3: So at this point, the holiday, so I'm just leaving 199 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 3: it be, you know, I'm like okay, and then my 200 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 3: partner tries to explain little more and he's even proud 201 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 3: of like, she wrote a book this year, and he 202 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 3: was like, whoa what trying to explain that we're not 203 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,200 Speaker 3: and there's nothing wrong with this, but that this is 204 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 3: actually our job and not just like we wanted to 205 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:29,320 Speaker 3: start a podcast type of thing. So he was like, 206 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 3: she wrote a book, and he was like, well really, 207 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 3: and he handed it to him and so the family 208 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:37,319 Speaker 3: member looked through it. So I was kind of looking 209 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 3: through it and he's like everybody kind of does his 210 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 3: own do their own thing. 211 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: But my partner came later to me was like, did 212 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: you watch him read the book? 213 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,960 Speaker 3: And I was like yep, and he let there and 214 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 3: you could sell. He was like mulling it over. He 215 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 3: gently closes it and gently puts it down after about 216 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 3: four minutes and doesn't pick it back up and doesn't 217 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 3: ask me a question, doesn't say a word. So of 218 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 3: course I'm also Asian, so they were also scared that 219 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 3: he was going to say something racist and he didn't. 220 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 3: He uh, some of the microaggression stuff that will always exist, 221 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 3: especially if I go to small town Georgia that will 222 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 3: be common. You know, that's sure, him trying to tell me, 223 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 3: you know, solidarity stories, Yeah, make me, trying to make 224 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 3: me feel comfortable, I guess type of thing. But like 225 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,559 Speaker 3: everything went well and he's a fantastic person. He actually 226 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 3: lives towards where your mom lives. More funny would that 227 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 3: be because half the conversation there at the it was 228 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 3: talking about the wineries that he loves and that we 229 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,480 Speaker 3: have to come out there. 230 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 1: To go to the wineries with him. 231 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 2: Oh no, how funny? 232 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:48,600 Speaker 1: Would that be a movie that would be Oh my god, 233 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:49,760 Speaker 1: now this is hilarious. 234 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,280 Speaker 3: I don't think she could handle it, because again, he's 235 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:57,199 Speaker 3: conservative and kind of work but quite funny, my head is. 236 00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 1: But yeah, this is the family member. 237 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 3: So but yeah, I had that felt where the entire family, 238 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 3: his entire family was trying to watch to make sure 239 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,160 Speaker 3: that I was okay and comfortable, which was so sweet, 240 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 3: and also that they didn't need to cover and be 241 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 3: like hey, sh. 242 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: Damn right. 243 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's kind of what happened with the thing I 244 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,959 Speaker 2: mentioned that happened at Thanksgiving. It's a family member of 245 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,960 Speaker 2: my brother's fiance, and he would just turn to me 246 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,680 Speaker 2: and he would like I said it wasn't anything like 247 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,319 Speaker 2: but it'd be like, but I think women liked doing 248 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 2: the cooking, you know, but he wouldn't addressed it to 249 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,360 Speaker 2: me and she but she was very aware, and I 250 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 2: could tell she was on edge and like, there was 251 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 2: a part of me that feels bad about this, but 252 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 2: I was like, I'm used to this, Like I think 253 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 2: a lot of guys are used to this, right, and 254 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 2: so I, you know, I didn't really think too much 255 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 2: of it. And then afterwards she was so apologetic and 256 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 2: she's like, oh my gosh, thank you so much for 257 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 2: putting up with him and all this stuff. And I 258 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 2: had a moment of like, you know, you just kind 259 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 2: of expect that sometimes, but I appreciate it, Like, right, 260 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 2: that's nice. But it was. And she's very now that 261 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 2: she's read the book, which, to be clear, I don't 262 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,560 Speaker 2: know if they I think there's like two chapters I 263 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:16,080 Speaker 2: know they both read. I don't know if they read 264 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,199 Speaker 2: the whole thing, but I know which at least two 265 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 2: chapters they read. But now she is very open about stuff, 266 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 2: which is great. But it's kind of funny because I'm like, WHOA, 267 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 2: our relationship has taken a flip that I was not 268 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 2: participating it, like you know when somebody like it's an 269 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 2: interesting thing when you're in a public space, right and 270 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 2: you we love hearing from you listeners, and we love 271 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 2: hearing from people about it, but you don't have like 272 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 2: the other side, like we don't necessarily know you or 273 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 2: your life, and so like I know her, but it 274 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 2: went from like, oh we know each other too. She's 275 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 2: telling me like pretty pretty important things, which wasn't bad. 276 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 2: It was just it was a very jarring experience for me, 277 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 2: not in a bad way, but I think I'm have 278 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 2: to adjust. If this is what it's going to be, 279 00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to get. 280 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 1: To it became a whole different thing. 281 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:15,400 Speaker 2: It was it was, and I it was This is 282 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 2: gonna sound kind of strange, but I bet some of 283 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:23,920 Speaker 2: you can relate. I grew up really idolizing my older brother, 284 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 2: like really looking up to him. I thought he was 285 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:32,040 Speaker 2: so smart, like just and he was too cool to 286 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:33,840 Speaker 2: hang out with me, of course, like he would never 287 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 2: want to hang out with me, which kind of made 288 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,200 Speaker 2: it even more alluring, like, oh, he's too good for me, 289 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 2: and we did. We had a pretty bad couple years 290 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 2: in our relationship, and we're sort of recovering from that. 291 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:47,120 Speaker 2: But I've never given up on that idea that I 292 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 2: always thought he was really smart, and so I guess 293 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:56,600 Speaker 2: a part of me assumed on some level, what am 294 00:15:56,640 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 2: I going to teach him, like, you know, like not 295 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,560 Speaker 2: that I I've had arguments with him where I've definitely 296 00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 2: been like, oh I disagree with you. Yeah, But like 297 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 2: it was, it was very strange for me where he 298 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:17,280 Speaker 2: kept saying things like I'm trying to get better, Like 299 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 2: I realized I didn't understand this or I didn't understand that, 300 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 2: and a part of it it was like maybe he's 301 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:26,520 Speaker 2: just you know, yeah, a little afraid of offending me 302 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 2: or something. But a part of it was like, wow, 303 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 2: I've always just assumed he knew that stuff. It was 304 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,560 Speaker 2: I have a lot to think about about this. 305 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 1: You learned some things, better figure out something. 306 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 2: It was an interesting holiday. It was an interesting holiday, 307 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 2: the feminists coming to town. Uh. But I would love 308 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 2: to hear from listeners if you've had experience like this. 309 00:16:55,360 --> 00:17:00,480 Speaker 2: Cheers to you, Cheer Samantha, Cheers all of you who 310 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:04,720 Speaker 2: are listening. And yeah, if you would like to contact us, 311 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,240 Speaker 2: you can you can email us a stepanti mom stuff 312 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:09,320 Speaker 2: at iheartmed dot com. You can find us on Twitter 313 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,439 Speaker 2: at mom Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at 314 00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 2: Stuff I've Never told you. We have a tea public store, 315 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,920 Speaker 2: and yes we do have a book. Thanks as always 316 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,240 Speaker 2: to our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, and 317 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:21,919 Speaker 2: our contributor Joey. Thank you, and thanks to you for 318 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,360 Speaker 2: listening Stuff I Never Told You. Use Friction by heart Radio. 319 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:25,919 Speaker 2: For more podcasts from my heart Radio, you can check 320 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,199 Speaker 2: out the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or regul listen to 321 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 2: your favorite shows.