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Speaker 1: All right, Scott, are you ready?

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Speaker 2: Ooh, I'm ready to laugh and laugh and laugh.

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Speaker 1: Here it is okay Man declares love with eight hundred

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Speaker 1: and forty Rubik's cubes, but she says no, now that.

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Speaker 2: Is officially bananas. Do you feel better? Would you believe?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Tell your ma no, sillion pieces? Would you believe?

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Speaker 2: Bana? Bana? I bring Charlie Fromage with us and all

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Speaker 2: of our stuff, all of our trement. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Do you guys know why it's called Charlie Fromage. He's

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Speaker 1: the French chuck e Cheese.

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Speaker 2: Chucky Cheese, Charlie Charlet Fromage. We did our livestream a

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Speaker 2: year ago during the Great Choir and had him behind

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Speaker 2: me at my house and we named him Charlie Romage

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Speaker 2: Charlie Fromage.

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Speaker 3: Baby.

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Speaker 2: So I went to lax the airport in Los Angeles early,

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Speaker 2: and I have this giant box. It's huge, and it's

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Speaker 2: all taped up and has a banana sticker on it.

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Speaker 2: And the woman checking me in goes, what is this

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Speaker 2: and I go it's props and she goes for what

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Speaker 2: and I go, oh, it's for performance, and she goes,

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Speaker 2: what do you do?

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Speaker 3: And I said bananas? And she just stared so hard

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Speaker 3: at me.

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Speaker 2: I go, I'm Bananas Bananas the Clown, and she was

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Speaker 2: Bananas the Clown.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, you said Bananas.

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Speaker 3: I said Bananas the Cloud.

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Speaker 1: Last night I thought she said, oh, you're Bananas the Clown.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know how to back up Bananas, so I

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Speaker 2: just said I'm Bananas the and she just gave me

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Speaker 2: my ticket and I got on a plane.

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Speaker 1: It definitely ends any more questions. Yes, when you say

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Speaker 1: I'm Banana's the clown, it's like I no longer.

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Speaker 2: Want to tell you, yeah, get out of here.

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Speaker 3: It's just like Matt, Yeah, I'm now I'm scared. That's right.

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Speaker 2: We're in Fort Wayne Wayne two hundred and twenty three.

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Speaker 2: Famous murderers with the middle name Wayne. I'm sure there's

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Speaker 2: some murderinos out here.

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Speaker 3: And you know Wayne equals death. That is so weird.

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Speaker 2: Twenty three Are you kidding me? John Wayne Gacy? I

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Speaker 2: know that's the big two hundred and twenty two other ones.

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Speaker 2: I don't know that it's true.

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Speaker 3: You all know it's true. It's called the Wayne theory.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, we walked around. We had a great day

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Speaker 1: in Fine What I.

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Speaker 3: Mean, what a day?

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Speaker 1: What a way did we do. Here's my question. Yes,

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Speaker 1: is it? Are there anyone?

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Speaker 3: The whole town seems to be run by teenagers?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Is that true? Yes, run by tea drift.

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Speaker 1: We didn't act with one person over at the age

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Speaker 1: of eighteen, except.

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Speaker 3: When we went to the Botanical car.

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Speaker 2: We did go to the Botanico car and then everyone

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Speaker 2: was over eighty. There also people taking photos there we go.

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Speaker 3: Get some.

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Speaker 2: Who else I'm gonna do this?

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Speaker 3: Oh Jesus, Jesus.

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Speaker 2: I'm back now, I'm in now now we can hear you.

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Speaker 2: We went to the Botanical Conservatory today. Very nice place

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Speaker 2: if you want to sweat in the middle of winter.

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Speaker 2: I cannot recommend it enough. Yeah, but I think there's

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Speaker 2: like a formal or like a promp. Yeah, it's probably

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Speaker 2: a prom homecoming. You guys have an Indiana thing.

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Speaker 1: There was an enormous amount of teenagers in formal dresses

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Speaker 1: getting pictures taken by their parents at the Botanical Conservatory today.

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Speaker 1: Does anybody know what that is?

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Speaker 2: Also, two guys the only two people wearing masks matching

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Speaker 2: Patagonia jackets over very tall, just walking behind them. So

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Speaker 2: there's just like chill and smiling, like hugging with booteners

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Speaker 2: and corsages, and then just two guys like German tourists

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Speaker 2: just lasting by to be like, take us to the

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Speaker 2: desert one.

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Speaker 3: Dead ends everywhere.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we did wild West, we did rainforest. We did

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Speaker 1: the desert. Also, don't have a desert.

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Speaker 3: Don't need it.

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Speaker 1: You don't need it.

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Speaker 3: No plants.

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Speaker 1: Everybody hates the plants in the desert.

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Speaker 3: Nobody enjoys.

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Speaker 1: The people who.

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Speaker 3: Live in the desert are like, fuck these plants. They're

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Speaker 3: not happy. We live in a desert. We're like, fuck

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Speaker 3: all of these plants. Yeah we do.

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Speaker 1: We live the rainforest. That's a good one.

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Speaker 2: We had a nice time. A lot of dead ends

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Speaker 2: there too. If anybody's from here, you just walk down

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Speaker 2: a path and it stops, and then stop, look at

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Speaker 2: your friend, and you talk about stuff and.

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Speaker 1: You have a seat. It's literally five dollars to go

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Speaker 1: hide in a rainforest. That's what that should be called.

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Speaker 1: We should and stay as long as you want. You

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Speaker 1: stay in a little corner.

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Speaker 2: They were like, you only have half an hour close

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Speaker 2: as at five. We're like, that would be more than

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Speaker 2: enough for us.

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Speaker 1: We did the whole thing in nine minutes, so we

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Speaker 1: checked it all out.

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Speaker 2: We did and we were in thirty five photos in

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Speaker 2: nine minutes.

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Speaker 1: Thirty five photos of nine minutes. Here's another weird thing.

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Speaker 3: Is this will not connect with anyone in this room?

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Speaker 3: I'm short. Does every parent who.

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Speaker 1: Was taking photographs of these teenagers had a large DSLR camera?

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Speaker 3: Big camera?

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Speaker 2: Is that for you? One?

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Speaker 1: Is that a thing here?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: We're gonna really a thing? Is that a we We're

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Speaker 1: all aware that the iPhone takes better photo, very good.

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Speaker 1: Most satellites from nineteen ninety very good. Puts in your pocket,

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Speaker 1: it fixed in your pocket, whires. Everyone everyone had a

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Speaker 1: camera that was like this big. I was like, so

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Speaker 1: is this is everyone a professional photographer?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Those are gonna be blurry photos.

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Speaker 2: By the way, there's no memories made. So we walked

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Speaker 2: was anybody here today at the convention center?

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Speaker 3: Good?

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Speaker 2: Thank god?

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Speaker 3: We were like, who was piling out of this convention say?

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Speaker 2: We didn't know if Bass Pro Outfitters was just blowing

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Speaker 2: up their merchandise, and people were like, I'll watch it.

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Speaker 2: We got bigfoot because we so we walked by. Everybody

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Speaker 2: looked like they wanted to beat us up. So we

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Speaker 2: kept walking very quickly, and then we literally hid in

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Speaker 2: a Ruth's Chris Steakhouse, which is not normal.

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Speaker 1: For us, not us, but we're like, we got to

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Speaker 1: get away from these.

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Speaker 2: So Kurt looked it up when we were there and

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Speaker 2: it was packed at the convention center today and it

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Speaker 2: was a It was a Lutheran function, so if you're

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Speaker 2: into it, good for you.

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Speaker 3: What was it called, kirk, It was.

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Speaker 1: Called the Children Will Come, Let the Children Come, Let

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Speaker 1: the children come, Let the children cop. It was called

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Speaker 1: let the Children Come, Let the Children coup, and that

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Speaker 1: was the South Unity Lutheran Church fundraise. Let the Children come,

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Speaker 1: Let the children come. This was multiple people looked at

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Speaker 1: that and was like, that's the name.

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Speaker 2: This is good. He says, it's good. Yeah, it's good.

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Speaker 2: Let the children come, Let the children come.

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Speaker 1: We're fighting for it. We're fighting to let the people

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Speaker 1: that wanted to kill us so connect with people like

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Speaker 1: drinking on the street with like bud lights behind like

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Speaker 1: a pillar.

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Speaker 3: Yep, it was crazy.

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Speaker 2: I feel bad for the children, honestly. So welcome to

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Speaker 2: Bananas live. That brown over.

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Speaker 1: That's scottielandis right there.

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Speaker 3: So nice to see all of you.

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Speaker 2: You're very kind to know many of you drove from

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Speaker 2: very far away we'll talk about that in a bit.

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Speaker 2: You want to hear me from the confessions too.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, if.

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Speaker 1: You haven't put in a confession, please put it in.

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Speaker 1: Keep them short and anonymous and.

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Speaker 3: Juicy, all right, je juicy, We love it. What were

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Speaker 3: you talking about?

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about a man declares love with eight hundred

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Speaker 1: and forty Rubik's cubes.

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Speaker 3: But she says no, Yeah, she's right, So what this is?

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Speaker 1: So just so you know, the headline doesn't exactly explain

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Speaker 1: what he did. Okay, he made a portrait of her,

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Speaker 1: photorealistic portrait. Yes, that's probably sixteen feet tall by like

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Speaker 1: eight feet wide of her face.

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Speaker 3: But in Rubik's cubes it's insane.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so here, women.

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Speaker 3: Love that kind of thing. Bye oh boy. This was

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Speaker 3: actually sent him by Copy Hayes number one. I mean

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Speaker 3: that guy Luricio. He's so good. He is great.

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Speaker 1: And this is from CNN, written by Vivian cam and

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Speaker 1: Katie Katie Hunt.

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Speaker 3: Here it is Vivian who and who.

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Speaker 1: Best in the There We Go. It's a puzzling tale

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Speaker 1: of unrequited love.

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Speaker 3: Okay, got it?

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Speaker 1: Got it mailed.

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Speaker 3: Reason.

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Speaker 1: A twenty seven year old Chinese man declared his affections

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Speaker 1: by solving eight hundred and forty Rubik's cubes and using

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Speaker 1: them to create a giant portrait of his dream girl, Wow,

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Speaker 1: a next door neighbor, but alas she said, no, I

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Speaker 1: simply wanted to surprise her and.

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Speaker 3: Tell her I like her, but I was rejected.

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Speaker 1: Oh, tongue on on a mechanic, A mechanic from the

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Speaker 1: northern Chinese city of Shendang. I mean like also, he's

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Speaker 1: also an artist. He's a mechanic and an artist. When

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Speaker 1: asked how he was feeling, he said, I'm not giving

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Speaker 1: it too much thought.

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Speaker 2: What how did this make the news?

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Speaker 3: Then?

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Speaker 2: What's happening?

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Speaker 3: What do you mean I didn find this guy?

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Speaker 2: If he's like no, biggie, how did this get to

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Speaker 2: the news?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: He's not giving it much thought.

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Speaker 3: He's lying. I'm I'm not loving it.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's like he's literally going like yeah, no,

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Speaker 1: I don't care. At Tong said he spent two months

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Speaker 1: planning the two point one meter high in one point

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Speaker 1: four meter wide mosaic.

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Speaker 3: They should move to feats and drafted for uh at

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Speaker 3: eleven feet by.

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Speaker 1: We'll say five feets, yeah, five feets and he drafted

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Speaker 1: it's like twenty five hands, and he drafted a design

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Speaker 1: on Photoshop and then spent four hundred and sixty dollars

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Speaker 1: on eight hundred and forty Rubik's cubes. My god, Rubik's

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Speaker 1: cubes in China are so affordable.

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Speaker 3: That's pretty.

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Speaker 1: That's amazing. You could buy a Rubik's cube for under

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Speaker 1: fifty cents.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we gotta go to China. Where is this Sean Yang?

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Speaker 3: All right, we're there.

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Speaker 1: Tong then solved each Ruby cube according to his design

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Speaker 1: and stacked them one by one and especially made wooden frame.

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Speaker 3: I'm not giving it too much thought. Yeah, I gave

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Speaker 3: me hours of fuck big I barely would like her,

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Speaker 3: took him. He loves her.

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Speaker 1: It took him twenty hours over three nights to complete

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Speaker 1: Tom's Heartbreak tail, and photos of them misake went viral

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Speaker 1: after he shared them on Chinese social media. That's how

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Speaker 1: it worked. Classic, many have requested. Many have questioned why

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Speaker 1: the girl would reject such a heartfelt and geet declaration

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Speaker 1: of love.

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Speaker 3: Not in this room, Here's why, because they never spoke. Hey,

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Speaker 3: I've studied you so well.

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Speaker 2: I can take little blocks of you and pixelate your

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Speaker 2: whole face.

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Speaker 3: I want to smooch.

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Speaker 1: Imagine if a neighbor who you never talked to showed

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Speaker 1: up with a with this eight hundred and forty Rubik's

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Speaker 1: cubes of your face, if you would be like, yes,

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Speaker 1: never I will. You are the most disturbing person ever.

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Speaker 3: I would run away. I would run away.

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Speaker 1: I know it's very romantic, but also it's like, maybe

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Speaker 1: try having a conversation first by eight hundred and forty

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Speaker 1: Rubik's cubes.

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Speaker 3: Second, Yeah, almost having a thought.

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Speaker 2: Men, I know you always feel like we have to

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Speaker 2: stand up for something or I don't know, be bold

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Speaker 2: or brave or fight or chivalrous. Run away. It's hilarious

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Speaker 2: the next time you get a little bit afraid or

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Speaker 2: somebody steps up to and it's like, what did you say?

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Speaker 2: Just sprint It is so funny. Also scream sprint and

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Speaker 2: be like ah, that is so funny, what's wrong?

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Speaker 1: And it also diffuses any situation. If somebody beat you

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Speaker 1: up after that, fine, it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 3: They're a loser.

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Speaker 1: If you sprint and come all the way around and

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Speaker 1: then like you don't realize you did it, and then

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Speaker 1: see the person again and.

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Speaker 2: You're like that you keep going around.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that is really funny. What's the onus on them?

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Speaker 3: Run men? Run, just run, It's fine, It's very funny.

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Speaker 3: Oh man, or confuse them. That would be my move. Well,

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Speaker 3: that's yeah. At this point, if.

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Speaker 1: I was getting into a fight, I think I would

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Speaker 1: say to him, Hey, man, I got two dicks, but

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Speaker 1: one of them's invisible. You want to see it?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? And then I'm like, are you just starting to

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Speaker 2: show me the dick you can sit? Yes, I was

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Speaker 2: kind of looking forward.

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Speaker 3: To the other one. Ah, it's just a way to

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Speaker 3: show a stranger you're dick.

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Speaker 1: All right?

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Speaker 3: Fine with me? Love running.

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Speaker 2: So many have.

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Speaker 1: Questioned why the girl would reject such a hard fellow

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Speaker 1: declaration of love. He says he has no hard feelings

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Speaker 1: towards her. Although he wasn't able to win her heart,

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Speaker 1: he said she was moved by the gift and has

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Speaker 1: accepted it. I hope they will stop making curse personal

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Speaker 1: comments about her online.

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Speaker 3: Don't do that.

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Speaker 1: He's a nice guy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Tom said he likes playing with puzzles in his free time,

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Speaker 1: and he doesn't like going out or socializing. You could

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Speaker 1: have led with that.

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Speaker 2: We are pretty do that. From the headline, the portrait

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Speaker 2: is still sitting in his home and he says, his

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Speaker 2: next puzzle is how to move it there?

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Speaker 1: It is the business.

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Speaker 2: Well, wow, yeah, persistence is wrong. They taught persistence when

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Speaker 2: you're were eighties boys, and they were like, yes, see

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Speaker 2: it be persistent. And you're like, oh, that's harassment, So

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Speaker 2: don't do what this gentleman did.

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Speaker 1: Weird because also I remember there's a there's a comic

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Speaker 1: out there who has a very funny joke about like

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Speaker 1: and I can't remember who it is. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: do an injustice, but maybe you can tell me what

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Speaker 1: comic this is. But it's like I met I met

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Speaker 1: your grandma because I met her at the bus stop

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Speaker 1: one hundred and five days in a row until she

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Speaker 1: agreed to go on a date with me. Remember that,

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Speaker 1: And that used to be like the way people met.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, wells because before the internet, you would see somebody

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Speaker 2: once and then never again.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and now.

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Speaker 2: You're like, oh, somebody walked by me, and you're like,

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Speaker 2: got it here it is, I know everything about that.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever met someone where you were you had

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Speaker 1: maybe an hour and a half with them, and you

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Speaker 1: were like, if this was a different circumstances, we would

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Speaker 1: be married.

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Speaker 3: Oh. That's interesting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you mean like as the connection was really yeah, where.

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Speaker 1: It was just like, yeah, it was like that thing

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Speaker 1: that like boom, that electric thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, there's been a few. There have been a

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Speaker 2: few along the way. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a fascinating thing. Yeah yeah, nothing never happened.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty happily married, so I'm.

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Speaker 2: Sure it's just it's an interesting angle. The art is beautiful.

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Speaker 1: The art is really beautiful. I will tell you this

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Speaker 1: reminds me of I was in high school or yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was eighteen, and I was I had this crush.

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Speaker 1: I had this crush on this girl, Susanne Suzanne I

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Speaker 1: think was her name, and she was part of this

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Speaker 1: group sexy name, sexy name, uh, And she was part

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Speaker 1: of this group that taught wilderness survival skills.

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Speaker 3: Yeah that was.

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Speaker 1: The help, but loving wilderness survival skills. I'm just gonna

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Speaker 1: tell you. I can make fire. I can make fire

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Speaker 1: with a boat, Okay, yeah.

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Speaker 3: Fire a lot of ways.

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Speaker 1: They're making it with matches.

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Speaker 3: It's invisible penis. He loves to show you.

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Speaker 1: So I was, I was like, she was part of

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Speaker 1: this wilderness awareness group and she lived in house.

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Speaker 3: She was nineteen, so she had already graduated. Well, she

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Speaker 3: was living in Belmar, New Jersey, cool in.

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Speaker 1: Like this like hippie house where like every time you

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Speaker 1: went over, someone was fasting for thirty days and they're

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Speaker 1: just like shivering on the couch and they had a

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Speaker 1: bunch of dead animals in the freezer that they were

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Speaker 1: just gonna learn how to stuff at something. I loved her.

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Speaker 1: I love her, but I was like obsessed with this.

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Speaker 3: Is the one. Yeah, well she was like she was

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Speaker 3: just like that.

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Speaker 1: She was like the hippie, the hippie girl that like

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Speaker 1: I had never been with.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they make their own clothes, they ride a

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Speaker 2: bike everywhere. They're crippled in credit card debt in their twenties.

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Speaker 2: I know them. I dated a couple of them too.

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Speaker 2: They're cool.

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Speaker 3: And she didn't like me. She didn't like me, but

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Speaker 3: I was just like I was.

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Speaker 1: I really liked her, And so one day I went

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Speaker 1: I was seventeen or eighteen, and in front of her

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Speaker 1: house in Belmar, I drew on the.

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Speaker 3: Ground with chalk, a huge mural like I drew.

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Speaker 1: I woke up at six am and I drew it

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Speaker 1: like it was the size of her house. And it

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Speaker 1: was like I don't remember. I think it was maybe

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Speaker 1: a giant peace sign. It might have been a giant

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Speaker 1: peace sign.

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Speaker 3: Women hotter than that.

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Speaker 1: With like yeah, chalk child, cold child is in love

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Speaker 1: with you. He drawn with.

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Speaker 2: Good boy.

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Speaker 1: She was just like stuffing animals and taking acid and

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Speaker 1: then like this child true a giant east side and

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Speaker 1: that said like Susanna or like a heart or something,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, this is gonna be so romantic.

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Speaker 1: She's totally gonna love it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 1: And then I and I waited for her to come

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Speaker 1: see it. I don't know, maybe there was before cell phones,

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Speaker 1: so I didn't call her anything, and I remember she came.

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Speaker 1: I think maybe I rang the doorbell. She came out,

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Speaker 1: and I was across the street like and in my mind,

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00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,280
Speaker 1: I was like, this is say anything, Like this is

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Speaker 1: my say anything. I'm holding the boom box. You know,

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00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:40,400
Speaker 1: you're just so overly dramatic as the seventeen Yeah, you're

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00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:45,119
Speaker 1: raging with horrible exactly. It's just what fort Wayne totally understands.

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00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 3: This run raging, this whole town. Every lift uber driver

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Speaker 3: rage raging.

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Speaker 2: Also seats very far back here, seats very far back,

386
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,959
Speaker 2: keep going seats very you didn't notice you to take

387
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,960
Speaker 2: a picture. I sat behind the driver revere time, like this.

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00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 3: This is so much. You know, there's nobody in the

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Speaker 3: front seat.

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00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 1: Is there any way we could push this seat forward?

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00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,800
Speaker 1: You know you're not gonna wear a mask. I think

392
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 1: you're supposed to wear a h I think.

393
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 2: It's your company. And I'm like, so, how's high school going?

394
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,880
Speaker 2: Is no brewery good because that's where.

395
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,720
Speaker 3: We're going and they're like one more dancers.

396
00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 2: Anyways, Yes, you have a you have a peace sign

397
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:29,680
Speaker 2: in Suzanne ring the.

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00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 1: Doorbell eight am. Yes, before I went to high school.

399
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 1: She comes out, Yes, she sees it. She's deeply embarrassed

400
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,680
Speaker 1: by it. I think she's like living in her cool

401
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,360
Speaker 1: hippie house and this child did this thing.

402
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:47,960
Speaker 3: And uh she then.

403
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 1: And I respect her to this day.

404
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 2: We're doing this.

405
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:56,159
Speaker 3: Okay, she just pulled her pants down and mooned me.

406
00:19:56,400 --> 00:20:01,200
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean you back inside?

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00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 2: So this is incredible. We gotta is there more to

408
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:14,120
Speaker 2: the story. I want to jump in. Okay, so mooning.

409
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,439
Speaker 3: Moon, We gotta talk moon is so funny.

410
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 2: You guys listen to the podcast. You know you're all

411
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 2: lovely people. We don't make huge political stands, do it? Yeah?

412
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,800
Speaker 3: We don't, and we're very.

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00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:30,479
Speaker 2: We're anti every We're just trying to be everybody's ally

414
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,200
Speaker 2: and best friends.

415
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:33,679
Speaker 3: We don't like invasive species.

416
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:37,880
Speaker 2: We hate them, but pets escaping, escaping. But I will

417
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 2: say mooning is a lost art and I won't die

418
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,480
Speaker 2: on this hill. But it's like, yes, you don't deserve

419
00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,479
Speaker 2: to see anybody's butt any but mooning is so fucking

420
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,920
Speaker 2: moon is so funny in this example, Yeah, crust you

421
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 2: in the funniest.

422
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:55,200
Speaker 1: Way, funniest way.

423
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 2: I had a kid, the Glovers. They lived across the street.

424
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:00,919
Speaker 2: Their dad was like, hey, can you guys do an

425
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 2: Orioles game? And you could bring one friend. They're like,

426
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 2: we're bringing Scottie. And I'm like, here we go people

427
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 2: I don't know very well to smoking dads in the front. See, yeah,

428
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,359
Speaker 2: here we go. He had a Chevy and Paula. We

429
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,080
Speaker 2: go down to Baltimore. You know there's you know, there's

430
00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:17,400
Speaker 2: nothing to talk about at some point where children we're

431
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,439
Speaker 2: eight years old, and this guy, when we're pulling in

432
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:25,520
Speaker 2: the Memorial Stadium moons us. It's the funniest thing you

433
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:29,080
Speaker 2: can do to children. He was just a drunk twenty

434
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:32,640
Speaker 2: soundthing in Baltimore. That was like, guess what, welcome to Earth.

435
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:37,359
Speaker 3: Bam, we need to find out so funny.

436
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 2: Maybe there needs to be a way to get gain

437
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 2: consent to moon people by yelling something five seconds before

438
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,120
Speaker 2: you moon them.

439
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, then you have the freedom to be like no,

440
00:21:48,119 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 3: not today.

441
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like it's gonna happen like prep them for it.

442
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 2: Oh, which reminds me of Edinburgh. Okay, what so this

443
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,760
Speaker 2: is how the podcast works, by the way.

444
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,679
Speaker 3: You're talking about oh man, Yeah, yeah.

445
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,360
Speaker 2: Okay, So Kurtie b and Kristin Shaw and I, uh

446
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 2: seven Jesus ten years ago.

447
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,960
Speaker 1: Ten years ago, we're in Edinburgh, Scotland, and there's a

448
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 1: huge hill mountain.

449
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,960
Speaker 2: What do you call Arthur's It called Arthur's Seat, you guys,

450
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,120
Speaker 2: has anybody ever been to Scotland? It's pretty great. Yeah,

451
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:20,160
Speaker 2: it's wonderful. Go it's the best. Edinburgh is so beautiful.

452
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,640
Speaker 2: It's yeah, beyond comprehension. And they speak English.

453
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 3: Who knew? Who knew?

454
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 1: You can't understand him. It doesn't sound like you.

455
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 3: Know, yeah, you can't understand.

456
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:28,679
Speaker 2: There's like.

457
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 1: I just like, okay, are you getting me by whiskey?

458
00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:38,199
Speaker 1: And it's like a it's like literally built in like

459
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: four hundred or something. Four hundred. Yeah, and it leads

460
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 1: to this big giant mountain and you can climb up

461
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,639
Speaker 1: it called Arthur's seat on top. It's super flat.

462
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,640
Speaker 2: Kristin or like Scottie, it's going to be cold every

463
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:51,400
Speaker 2: single day.

464
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 3: Bring a snow coat, bring a raincoat. It's seventy five

465
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 3: and sunny, the sunny.

466
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 2: When he's there, I'm in short, I'm.

467
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 3: Just like, this is pretty good.

468
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: And we're walking along this little bit. We take this

469
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 1: beautiful in this field of heather, and uh, and I

470
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 1: needed to pee, so I just went old man tea

471
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 1: kettle and I just started peeing.

472
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 2: But the way Kurt just described it made it sound

473
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 2: like there was a break between what he said and

474
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 2: what he did. We were walking mid conversation Kurt from

475
00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,679
Speaker 2: behind Kristin, I goes old man tea kettle and by

476
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,120
Speaker 2: the time we turned around, he's already peeing and there's

477
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:32,479
Speaker 2: no Christ was like, what the fuck man was living?

478
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 3: Fly back to the stage.

479
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 2: She was so mad.

480
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 3: She's like, you're just pee in front of people like that?

481
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 1: And I was like, I said, old man te.

482
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 3: Kurt said, old man tea kettle.

483
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 2: You know that thing we all say right before a

484
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 2: pee in nature in a big country. Kristen was so angry,

485
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:56,360
Speaker 2: she was so mad. It was justified. Normally I'll take

486
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 2: Shawl's side, but this one was like he did say,

487
00:23:58,720 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 2: old man tettle.

488
00:24:02,119 --> 00:24:04,440
Speaker 1: But also to get back to butts.

489
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,880
Speaker 3: Y mooning number one, it.

490
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: Is fascinating that butts are where they are and what

491
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 1: they do. J Lo changed everything because the design of

492
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 1: them is that we put like a trash evacuation unit

493
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:25,239
Speaker 1: in between two pillows. Weird, right, It wouldn't make more

494
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 1: sense if our buttholes were on our elbow, That's what

495
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,680
Speaker 1: I think, because.

496
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 2: What are you up to?

497
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 3: Yeah? Nothing was reading the paper.

498
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 1: But also the only point, like, the only reason it's

499
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 1: down here is so that we can't poop in our

500
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: own mouths, right.

501
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys know if your elbow, you can't poop

502
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:46,680
Speaker 2: in your mouth.

503
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 1: If it was on your elbow, you couldn't get to it, Okay,

504
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 1: And like what.

505
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 3: I'm coming around. You just sold me the visuals you

506
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:56,360
Speaker 3: could and.

507
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,680
Speaker 1: Then bars could just have a slot and you could

508
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 1: just slide your elbow in, stay at the bar and

509
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 1: take a ship and it would be totally fine.

510
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm on board. So now I think before you

511
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 3: moon somebody your elbow.

512
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 2: Room as loud as you go. Give me a story, Scottie,

513
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 2: I would love to. This was sentenced by K the Hansen,

514
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,080
Speaker 2: K the Hands and K the Hansen.

515
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,160
Speaker 1: Oh wait tonight, Yes, I said, okay, you.

516
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,800
Speaker 2: Did, okay, but we we're gonna need you to yell

517
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,159
Speaker 2: best in the business just a second.

518
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 3: Ready.

519
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 2: So this is from newsweek dot Com, written by Ed Brown.

520
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:35,119
Speaker 3: Who is the.

521
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:43,479
Speaker 2: Yes, he's pretty good. Uh man, I'm gonna just follow

522
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:44,080
Speaker 2: your theme.

523
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:44,920
Speaker 1: Crazy.

524
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:46,679
Speaker 3: We're on theme, but we'll get cleaner.

525
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:47,160
Speaker 2: Don't worry.

526
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: It's a live show.

527
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 3: We can be a little dirt, I.

528
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: Mean straight Yeah, you can see him straight out is

529
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 1: dope BUCkies. Yeah, Bucky's great.

530
00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 3: Jeez, looking what a life man.

531
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 2: God start ejaculates from anus urinate species for two years

532
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 2: before seeking help. Yeah.

533
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 1: Charlie Framish loves that. There is that.

534
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:33,160
Speaker 3: Man, My god, that's amazing.

535
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 2: We're gonna the two years two years.

536
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 1: Before Kenny and I were talking about this morning. The

537
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 1: first time you shit out of your penis how long does.

538
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 3: It take you to go to a doctor?

539
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: Go to the doctor.

540
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 2: Maybe five seconds?

541
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 1: Comes out of your penis, you make a doctor appointment.

542
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 2: If you ejaculate out of your aus, it's forty eight hours.

543
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 1: Yeah.

544
00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 2: But if you shot out here, you go immediately.

545
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:00,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

546
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,680
Speaker 2: You get a left driver penis who's seventeen years old

547
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,200
Speaker 2: in Fort Wayne, Indiana, and you go to the closest hospital.

548
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:08,640
Speaker 3: You go immediately.

549
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:13,560
Speaker 2: A rare complication might have made this man ejaculate through

550
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:20,400
Speaker 2: his anus for two years. Yeah, I would say that's

551
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 2: a rare complication. I know a lot of people.

552
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:24,800
Speaker 3: Not once.

553
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 2: Have they ejactulated through lnus around me hard I drive?

554
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 2: Oh my hold on. Doctors, thank god, have published a

555
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 2: case study detailing a man who startied ejaculating from his rectory.

556
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,399
Speaker 2: I mean that doesn't sound that bad.

557
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:49,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like.

558
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 1: That's okay me, it gets me.

559
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:56,439
Speaker 2: Oh god. The man aged thirty three, turned up for

560
00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:00,919
Speaker 2: medical care after experiencing pain in one of his testicles.

561
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:04,080
Speaker 2: Not fun for five days. So I took him five

562
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 2: days of testicles.

563
00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 1: He takes he he he really hates doctors.

564
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was just yeah, he was.

565
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 2: He also said he had been passing a quote substantial

566
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 2: end quote amount of urine sperm from his rectum over

567
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 2: the previous two years.

568
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 3: Five days of testicle pay, two years of sperm.

569
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 2: Out the.

570
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 1: Two or ten two two years of spermount rectimun.

571
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 2: He also said he's been experiencing a problem known as

572
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 2: new maturia, which is people pass gas in their urine.

573
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 3: Wait what well, what happened to you today? Okay?

574
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 1: I mean wait, wait, wait, does that mean that his

575
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 1: dick farts?

576
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 2: It is called a peef and it's only one.

577
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 3: You gotta know.

578
00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 2: Peeping is the highest compliment you can give somebody. I

579
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:02,800
Speaker 2: feel like an ip and the woman bows and you

580
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 2: get married.

581
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 1: I could just imagine he is like this, if.

582
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 2: You're lucky, If you're lucky, tell.

583
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 3: Me I heard from my friend doctor.

584
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 1: My penis whistles. Is that normal? And then it smells.

585
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 3: Terrible after my penis whistles? But my nards have heard

586
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 3: for five days.

587
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna come see you anyway, See passed gas

588
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 2: through his urine. Also, we went to Cracker Barrel in

589
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:39,280
Speaker 2: Gas City, as Kurt said earlier, and it was very cold.

590
00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,120
Speaker 2: We're not used to it anymore. And Kurt went into

591
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,560
Speaker 2: the men's bathroom. We held doors for all.

592
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 1: There was a guy who was like holding doors for us,

593
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 1: and we like walked past some old guy, and then

594
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: I went to pee, and I think we were complaining

595
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 1: about the cold, right yeah. And then I was in

596
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 1: the bathroom, I was using the urinal, and then from

597
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 1: behind me, I just that guy came in going that

598
00:29:58,480 --> 00:29:59,840
Speaker 1: cold really got me go.

599
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 2: I got a.

600
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:06,360
Speaker 1: Pee and I was just like, you don't need to

601
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 1: tell me why you're peeing.

602
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 2: Man.

603
00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 1: He like came right next to me. He's like, you're

604
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: never ready for it. You never ready for it when

605
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 1: it comes and gets real cold like that, and said,

606
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,840
Speaker 1: I'm just like, oh, fantastic, we're doing my favorite thing,

607
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: which is talking at the urinal.

608
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 2: Why urinating?

609
00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 3: Can't wait to continue this conversation.

610
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, other around a long time. I've never been like

611
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 2: I'm so cold, I really have to peel right now.

612
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 3: Like he was gonna kill me.

613
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: It really was. He's like, he's gonna be suspicious. I

614
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 1: should tell him the cold weather made me pee.

615
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 2: If I don't say anything walking into a public men's room,

616
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 2: I'm the weird one.

617
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 3: Anyway.

618
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:55,520
Speaker 2: He had been experiencing problem known as new maturia, in

619
00:30:55,640 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 2: which people pass gas in their urine and feel in

620
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 2: which people pass ball matter through their urine. Two years.

621
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 2: Two years, doctors found the man's vital signs were normal.

622
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 2: There you go, and they decided to carry further tests

623
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 2: to see what the h was going on. A CT

624
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 2: scan of the pelvis revealed a gas filled structure in

625
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 2: the man's prostate.

626
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:24,240
Speaker 3: Not good. You don't want that anyways, this is a

627
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 3: unique case.

628
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 2: They did a surgery and successfully reconnected the connection between

629
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 2: the man's prostate and rectum.

630
00:31:32,120 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 1: Wow.

631
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: Wow wow.

632
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 1: And so he had an operation then infused incorrectly.

633
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 3: Yeah.

634
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 2: Yes, he had had a catheter at some point and

635
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 2: it booted his scooter and then.

636
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:49,680
Speaker 3: And then they straighten out a snooter. So there you go.

637
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 2: And this is my favorite. This is the end of

638
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 2: the line by Ed Brown, who is the best in

639
00:31:55,480 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 2: the business. The doctors at University of Texas described the case.

640
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 3: It says unique.

641
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, I bet they're did I.

642
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: Bet they do you thanky bet they bit Oh my god,

643
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 1: that's amazing.

644
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 3: That's a nightmare.

645
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 1: I yeah, I just can't keep I can't stop thinking

646
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: about it.

647
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 2: When I lived I lived in Curtiner. I met in

648
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 2: Brooklyn about fifteen or sixteen years ago. Oh buddies, but

649
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 2: we were vampires. We would go out all night we

650
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 2: were pale and pasty because we hid from the sun

651
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 2: and it's cold all the time, and so uh so

652
00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 2: I moved to Los Angeles and I have insurance. What

653
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 2: a miracle. Isn't that so great to have insurance? It

654
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 2: happened sometimes if you get very lucky. So I used

655
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 2: to get sunspots. You guys know what sunspots are, like

656
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 2: little white spots when you get sunburned or suntan or whatever.

657
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 2: And I just let them go forever, and then I

658
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 2: was like, I need to go get these figured out.

659
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 2: I went to the beach one day and was like,

660
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:58,280
Speaker 2: what are those? And I'm like, okay, I'm afraid. So

661
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 2: there's this aerahicle Glenn. It's right near where Kurt lives.

662
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 2: And I go to a dermatologist for the first time

663
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 2: in my early thirties, and I this is the thing

664
00:33:09,320 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 2: about Los Angeles. I know a lot of people hate

665
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 2: Los Angeles, but when you go to doctor's offices, the

666
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 2: doctors are the most attractive people in the world.

667
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 3: It's crazy.

668
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 1: It's upset.

669
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:19,640
Speaker 3: It's like a soap opera.

670
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 2: You're like, there's no way, and then one guy walks

671
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,600
Speaker 2: by and you're like, best guy, I've ever seen.

672
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 3: And then a woman walks by, like and I.

673
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,280
Speaker 2: Would in two seconds. She's wonderful. And this happens all

674
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 2: the time. And I go into the dermatologists. I fill

675
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,200
Speaker 2: up the thing and I go in and everybody in

676
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 2: the waiting room are like aspiring actors and actresses. So

677
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,400
Speaker 2: it's a bunch of young, beautiful people. You sign it,

678
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 2: I have sunspots. I'm like okay, So.

679
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:42,360
Speaker 3: I go ahead.

680
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:45,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they're all there for just like just left. Yeah,

681
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:46,920
Speaker 1: well we all need to be there for somebody. You know,

682
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,040
Speaker 1: you got to never get old in Los Angeles. So

683
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: I go in and they're like landas.

684
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 2: And I'm like yes, And I walk in and they

685
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 2: take me to the first office to the right. I

686
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 2: go through like the door and then it's right here

687
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 2: and I'm just sitting there and nurse comes in or

688
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 2: nurse practition or whatever, and she says.

689
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 3: Just put on this and doctor will be right in.

690
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 2: I'm like great. So in walks this like one hundred

691
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 2: and fifty year old man. The oldest man I've ever

692
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 2: seen in my life is my dermatologist. He like doesn't

693
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 2: even look up and.

694
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:15,800
Speaker 1: He's just dust in a jacket.

695
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,920
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yeah, he's.

696
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 2: Yes. A dust devil blows in with his UCLA intern

697
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 2: behind him holding a clipboard, and I pulled down the

698
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:31,160
Speaker 2: little top thing they give you, and the guy looks

699
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 2: at my son's spots and he goes, fungus.

700
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:35,879
Speaker 3: What Yeah.

701
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 2: He turns over his shoulder and yells to the UCLA

702
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,759
Speaker 2: intern fungus, fungus, and.

703
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 3: He goes, this is called Tania Verrakosa. It's like whatever.

704
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:45,839
Speaker 3: He goes, it's fungus. It's fine.

705
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 2: It's it's like, you're fine. He looks at me, doesn't

706
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,440
Speaker 2: look at anything else, like freckles or moles.

707
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:50,840
Speaker 3: He's like, you're gonna be fine.

708
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,879
Speaker 2: So then he's like, we're gonna get you medication. Yeah,

709
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 2: And I was like, great, this is okay, great, thank you. Yeah,

710
00:34:57,880 --> 00:34:59,800
Speaker 2: fungus boy, you're gay, You're cool.

711
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 3: And so they just spray you with a hose out.

712
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 2: I would have taken it. I would have loved this.

713
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,760
Speaker 3: So I'm sitting in the shirt list some anzeling fungus,

714
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:09,880
Speaker 3: and in my head I'm.

715
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: Like, everybody in the waiting room can hear exactly what's

716
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:13,080
Speaker 2: going on?

717
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 3: So then yeah, yeah, the guy walks.

718
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,800
Speaker 2: I walk back five seconds later, here fungus yelled loudly.

719
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 3: And then he's like, well, get.

720
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 2: You set up. It's the top of a cream. Don't

721
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 2: this pills back for your liver, so don't drink on it.

722
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 2: I'm like okay, And so then I just hesitate to

723
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:31,839
Speaker 2: go back out into the waiting room.

724
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I'm like, y're kinda no, it's me.

725
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 2: They're gonna no old fungo, and so like I like

726
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,480
Speaker 2: shuffle around. I'm like, is there a restroom back here?

727
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 2: And I like, don't have to pee, like wash my hands.

728
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 2: I'm like, how do I get out of this? And

729
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 2: so then I'm just sitting in the way. I'm sitting

730
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 2: in the bathroom being like, okay, it's been like five minutes.

731
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 2: They clearly won't connect the dots that I'm fungus. So

732
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 2: then I go back out there and I'm signing the

733
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 2: thing to say I'm gonna pay for it, and one

734
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty year old dust devil walks out. He

735
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 2: goes is for the fungus? Just you sell some blue

736
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 2: once a month, once a moth on your body, you know,

737
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 2: we can get rid of it.

738
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 3: And I like look around, it's just like, oh, it's

739
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:11,400
Speaker 3: like the eighte and t girls there. Everybody's there.

740
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,239
Speaker 2: It's like, here's old fungus and I'm like, hey, everybody,

741
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,200
Speaker 2: thank you so so very much. Never came back?

742
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,959
Speaker 3: Was the girl there? She was there? What she was there?

743
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 1: What? Oh my goodness?

744
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:26,160
Speaker 3: Okay, so she knows more about me than she should.

745
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,839
Speaker 1: So now I think it's time to take a little break.

746
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,479
Speaker 3: You're you going to tease us into one? Maybe tees

747
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:35,759
Speaker 3: us into one. Here we go.

748
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 1: Are you ready?

749
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 2: And Ryan, if you're back there, can you bring up

750
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 2: the confessions after this little break?

751
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:45,760
Speaker 1: Yes, the chicken that lived for eighteen months without a head.

752
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 1: Oh right there, we get back to bananaa.

753
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 2: Let's hear the news from all the way around the book.

754
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:20,960
Speaker 2: Bana bananas, baby ban.

755
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:23,840
Speaker 1: And we're back.

756
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,759
Speaker 2: It's fake. Look at that.

757
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 3: It's bad.

758
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:34,319
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. So before we get into our

759
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 1: bananas confessions.

760
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you everybody who filled this out. So who here? Okay,

761
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,319
Speaker 2: so I went on Etsy et s y as I

762
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:47,840
Speaker 2: was once told it as a party. Who here came

763
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 2: from the farthest away from Fort Wayne.

764
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:54,760
Speaker 3: If you think you came from further than anyone where

765
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,399
Speaker 3: where Cleveland's pretty good?

766
00:37:57,719 --> 00:37:58,879
Speaker 1: Cleveland's pretty good?

767
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:06,800
Speaker 2: Can I colis Thomas farther than Cleveland. Minneapolis, Minnia.

768
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 3: We might have to map this.

769
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 1: All right, Minneapolis beats those two?

770
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:18,720
Speaker 3: Is Minneapolis further? Yeah? No, you're kidding. Oklahoma City really okay,

771
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 3: it doesn't count.

772
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 2: Now that's good.

773
00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,279
Speaker 1: We mean I came from a star because I'm made

774
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: of star dust? Is that you again?

775
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:30,879
Speaker 3: I mean?

776
00:38:31,080 --> 00:38:36,400
Speaker 2: I love this person? That is so Minneapolis? Can anybody

777
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 2: beat Minneapolis? Last time we had Florida. Cincinnati is a

778
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 2: great price. I watched I didn't tell the full story

779
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:49,319
Speaker 2: on the podcast of that wedding date that went way

780
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:50,720
Speaker 2: weirder in Cincinnati.

781
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 3: I was being polite.

782
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, Minneapolis, Minneapolis, please come towards the stage if you

783
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 2: don't mind, we have a gift. You are officially the

784
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 2: longest banana. And I think it's also your birthday is

785
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 2: a whose birthday?

786
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 1: Come on up?

787
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 2: Whose birthday? What's her name? Jennifer? We need our birthday song.

788
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:21,880
Speaker 2: We need to create a birthday of bananas and.

789
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 1: Birthday birthday, birthday. We made it out of Clay birthday.

790
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 2: Birthday birthday today is today.

791
00:39:28,160 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 3: But please come on.

792
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 2: You're the longest banana of Charlie please.

793
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the longest bananas happening. The longest bananas happening.

794
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 3: It's happening right now.

795
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: It's the longest banana. Thanks for traveling.

796
00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 3: That's keep you on your toes.

797
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 2: I actually recorded what I think our banana song should be.

798
00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 3: What let's get this.

799
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 2: Anana boys wish you happy birthday. You happy birthday, you

800
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 2: epy birthday, birthday, happy birthday, all damn day.

801
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 3: I recorded that on the flight here.

802
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,840
Speaker 2: So this is how it goes. It goes Banana boys

803
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 2: wish you happy birthday. Then only you say happy birthday.

804
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 2: Then I say happy birthday.

805
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,320
Speaker 3: Okay, Then we.

806
00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:36,120
Speaker 2: Both say Banana boys wish you happy birthday. You say

807
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 2: you happy birthday, and then I say all damn day.

808
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:39,919
Speaker 1: Okay, great.

809
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 2: Readyana boys wish happy birthday.

810
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 3: Happy birthday, you happy birthday.

811
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 2: But boys, you happy birthday, Happy birthday, Oh damn day.

812
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 3: We're gonna get this good. Yeah, okay, we're gonna get this.

813
00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:04,840
Speaker 2: Happy birthday. We're gonna make this so good you're not

814
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 2: going to sing the other one to your children. Okay,

815
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 2: you're ready for some confessions. This is Banana's confessions. We

816
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,480
Speaker 2: also our minisotas are going to be confessions. Now ons,

817
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,000
Speaker 2: did you all right? Here we go.

818
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 1: Are you ready?

819
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 3: Yes, I am right.

820
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 1: I'm a nurse. Don't cheer.

821
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:31,880
Speaker 3: I went to that is such a funny thing to write.

822
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,400
Speaker 1: That's a person who understands that it'll be read on stage.

823
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 1: That is true. I'm a nurse, don't cheer. I went

824
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 1: to unhook an ivy of a patient and looking at

825
00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 1: his tattoo, I was like, oh cool, is that an

826
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,840
Speaker 1: Elvis tattoo? And he said that's my daughter.

827
00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 2: Oh shit, Well blame the tattoo artist, I guess, speaking

828
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:00,760
Speaker 2: of invisible and this is Kurt.

829
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 1: Yes.

830
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 2: I didn't know until I was much older that as

831
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:13,080
Speaker 2: a woman, I actually have three holes. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yep.

832
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:17,960
Speaker 2: I was like, yep, you're forgiven. That's a fine confession.

833
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 2: You're absolved.

834
00:42:18,719 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 1: But I mean, but, I mean, you have more than

835
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 1: three holes.

836
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:24,680
Speaker 2: What do you mean?

837
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:29,040
Speaker 1: We have your mouth hole, your tear holes, your nose holes,

838
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:33,480
Speaker 1: your urethra hole, and then your vagina and then your asshole. Yes,

839
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 1: so you have eight holes that I'm not counting.

840
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 2: I'm not counting them.

841
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 3: Right, that's very good.

842
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:43,160
Speaker 2: Here we go, Here we go.

843
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is pretty good.

844
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:45,920
Speaker 2: Okay.

845
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:48,760
Speaker 3: I am a teacher.

846
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,359
Speaker 2: One time I farted in class, and everybody thought it

847
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 2: was one of the kids. Oops, blaming on the kid.

848
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 2: That's fine. They got to learn it somewhere.

849
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 1: Here's a confession that needs absolving.

850
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:05,760
Speaker 3: Absolved.

851
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:07,440
Speaker 1: I love fruitcake.

852
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:08,799
Speaker 2: I freaking love it.

853
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:10,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's pretty good.

854
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 1: That's enthusiasm for you. I once accidentally kicked a cat

855
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,240
Speaker 1: and didn't get a chance to apologize because I sprint

856
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:24,280
Speaker 1: it away. Get sprinted away.

857
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 3: That's fine.

858
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:26,560
Speaker 1: I am haunted by this.

859
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 3: That is totally fine.

860
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 2: I once put socks on my hands and drove a

861
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 2: car into the sticks, doused it in gasoline.

862
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 3: And burned it to the ground.

863
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 2: For for insurance money. But I didn't consider a ride home. Now.

864
00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 2: I gotta say, we've done a lot of confession so far.

865
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 2: This is the most Indiana confession I've ever heard in

866
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:56,440
Speaker 2: my life. This is fantastic. Burning your car put socks

867
00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 2: on your hands. My friend Steve Santamon, I don't know

868
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:00,920
Speaker 2: if he listens to the podcast Buddy, when we were

869
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 2: driving his kids, like remember when you would drive to

870
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 2: places together and like you would be in your car

871
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 2: and they'd be in their car, and.

872
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 3: You kind of like raise each other and have fun.

873
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 3: He would pull up alongside me, on the.

874
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 2: Highway and like make a face, and then he'd drift back.

875
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 2: Then he pull up and he'd have his socks on

876
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:16,839
Speaker 2: his hands. I don't know how he did it. And

877
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:18,719
Speaker 2: then he'd fight back. Then he'd drive up and he'd

878
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 2: have his shoes and his socks on his hands, and

879
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:22,920
Speaker 2: then he pulled back and they would drive up, his

880
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:24,359
Speaker 2: shoes and socks and shirt.

881
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 3: Off, and they would fade back. Stevie, I love you

882
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 3: if you listen to the pod. I don't know.

883
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 1: Okay, this one happens every live show that we do.

884
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:35,880
Speaker 1: I have a crush on Scottie.

885
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 3: Every everyone, you're absolved.

886
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 1: My boyfriend and I accidentally started a viral sex trend

887
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: at our university. We had sex in every building on

888
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 1: our college's campus and called it the scholar Challenge. Didn't

889
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,279
Speaker 1: you know? Didn't this something happen like this happened where

890
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 1: you went to college and it caught on and now

891
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 1: the freshman tried to do it.

892
00:44:55,680 --> 00:44:56,879
Speaker 3: Our favorite location was.

893
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 1: In the organ room of the chapel.

894
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did do this.

895
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,239
Speaker 2: There was a woman in my high school was a

896
00:45:03,239 --> 00:45:05,759
Speaker 2: good friend of mine, and she had a boyfriend and

897
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:09,000
Speaker 2: had a girlfriend, and we created a grid of a

898
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,919
Speaker 2: point system of where you had sex and how much

899
00:45:11,960 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 2: it was worth. So if it was you know, it

900
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 2: was if it was out of state, it was ten points.

901
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 2: If it was in a amusement, Parker was twenty points.

902
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 2: And we went back and forth for two years and

903
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 2: she was very competitive. She did pretty good. She worked

904
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 2: at a candy store in the mall and scoops and

905
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 2: Owings mills mall. Don't eat the candy there. Let me

906
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 2: just tell you, Wow, good buddy, old mems.

907
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 1: I remember being younger and wanting to have sex everywhere,

908
00:45:41,960 --> 00:45:43,240
Speaker 1: and now I prefer home.

909
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:48,239
Speaker 3: Yep, it's safe, it's no animals.

910
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: Oh, I have over one hundred French fries in my

911
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 1: purse right now. That's a good person to know.

912
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:01,239
Speaker 2: Just before this, oh, I went to dinner with my

913
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 2: partner and got hot sauce up my nose and have

914
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 2: been low key panicking ever since. You're absolved. That's a

915
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,240
Speaker 2: sweet one. You're a good person.

916
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:14,360
Speaker 1: Until this year, when I turned thirty, I thought ceramic

917
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 1: was pronounced cream, Like.

918
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 2: Oh oh, oh, I have a story about this. So

919
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:23,880
Speaker 2: when I was in blah blah blah bah junior and

920
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:28,239
Speaker 2: high school, people are like, there's this girl transferring here

921
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:32,560
Speaker 2: and she looks like Pamela Anderson and everybody's like, okay,

922
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 2: I mean this is late night, and uh, this woman

923
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,680
Speaker 2: shows up. It's a very beautiful girl. And she was

924
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:40,759
Speaker 2: in my English class. And on the first day of

925
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:44,359
Speaker 2: English class she had to read aloud. What a nice

926
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 2: thing to do to young people, read aloud? Show us

927
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 2: how many words you don't know serah miic or whatever.

928
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:55,440
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I was a very interesting student, and

929
00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 2: I would just kind of go like got it, and

930
00:46:57,440 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 2: then just like.

931
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 3: Be like, God, this is so worrying.

932
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:04,359
Speaker 2: When I get out of this prison, and I saw

933
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 2: Chameleon coming and I was like, oh, she's gonna fucking

934
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 2: not get this right. And I'm watching and I went

935
00:47:12,160 --> 00:47:19,320
Speaker 2: she goes and the chamee Leone and North Baltimore lit

936
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:23,520
Speaker 2: her a new one, and like pam Anderson became not

937
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:30,239
Speaker 2: Pam Anderson very quickly, and just like the chamie Leone.

938
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 2: Maybe that's what yo before Moon people, Shamille chamill Leon Moon.

939
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 1: All right, you're ready for a story?

940
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,680
Speaker 2: Hit me, Yes, I'm gonna stup. Somebody's back in. We're

941
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 2: gonna do these on the minisotes. So even if we

942
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 2: didn't read it tonight. You're part of the experience.

943
00:47:47,960 --> 00:47:52,879
Speaker 1: This was from BBC News. Very good, Stephanie Rand, Stephani Ran,

944
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 1: thank you.

945
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 3: Oh she is the best in the business. Absolutely.

946
00:47:57,680 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 1: The chicken that lived for eighteen months without ahead. There

947
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:05,640
Speaker 1: is a picture. Holy shit, there is a picture here.

948
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 1: It is This is a crazy story. On September tenth,

949
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,839
Speaker 1: nineteen forty five, Lloyd Wilson and his wife Clara were

950
00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 1: killing chickens on their farm in Fruda, Colorado.

951
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 3: Olsen would decapitate the birds, his wife would clean them

952
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:18,279
Speaker 3: up as you do.

953
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 1: But one of the forty or fifty animals that went

954
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 1: under Olson's hatchet that day didn't chicken like the rest.

955
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,439
Speaker 1: They got down to the end and had one who

956
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:30,200
Speaker 1: was still alive, up and walking around, says the couple's

957
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 1: great grandson, Troy Waters, himself a farmer in Fruda.

958
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 3: Chicken kicked and ran and didn't stop.

959
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,319
Speaker 1: It was placed in an old apple box on the

960
00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: farm screened porch for the night, and when Lloyd Olsen

961
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 1: awoke the following morning, he stepped outside to see what

962
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:48,280
Speaker 1: had happened. Okay, the damn thing was still alive. Ollers,

963
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,440
Speaker 1: It's part of our weird family history. Waters heard the

964
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 1: story as a boy when his bedriot and great grandma

965
00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 1: came to live in his parents' house. The two had

966
00:48:56,239 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 1: adjacent bedrooms. Why does that talk? Why does that matter?

967
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:02,439
Speaker 3: Here's a weird detail. Mediam missed in the biz. He yeah,

968
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 3: media missed in the biz. We don't want to know

969
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,000
Speaker 3: exactly how they talked about it.

970
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 1: He took the chicken carcass to town to sell them

971
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:11,200
Speaker 1: at the meat market. He took the rooster with him,

972
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:13,239
Speaker 1: and back then he was still using the horse and

973
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,440
Speaker 1: wagon quite a bit. Threw it in the wagon, took

974
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:18,799
Speaker 1: the chicken with him and started betting people beer that

975
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:22,400
Speaker 1: he had a live headless chicken. Words spread around fruit

976
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 1: about the miraculous headless bird.

977
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I bet it did.

978
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 1: Local paper dispatched a reporter to interview Olson, and two

979
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:32,880
Speaker 1: weeks later a side show promoter called Hope Wade. Of course,

980
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,319
Speaker 1: his name was Hope Wade, cool name, traveled nearly three

981
00:49:35,400 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 1: hundred miles from Salt Lake City, Utah. He had a

982
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 1: simple proposition, take the chicken onto the side show circuit

983
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 1: so they could make some money, huge money back then

984
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 1: in the nineteen forties at a small farm. And we're

985
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:49,280
Speaker 1: struggling what the hell might as well. First, they visited

986
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 1: Salt Lake City in the University of Utah, where the

987
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 1: chicken was put through a battery of tests.

988
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:57,960
Speaker 2: Leave it alone, it's got his head chopped off. What

989
00:49:58,160 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 2: tests do we need to do?

990
00:50:00,239 --> 00:50:02,480
Speaker 3: This is this is the craziest part Rumor had.

991
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:05,760
Speaker 1: At the university, scientists surgically removed the heads of many

992
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,600
Speaker 1: other chickens to see whether any would live. It was

993
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: here that Life Magazine came to Life Magazine marvel over

994
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 1: the story of Miracle Mike, the headless chicken. Before before,

995
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,919
Speaker 1: before Magic Mike, there was Miracle Mike.

996
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:28,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a very different dance.

997
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, but people still loved it.

998
00:50:32,120 --> 00:50:34,479
Speaker 1: Imagine that, Like the main thing that a chicken does

999
00:50:34,560 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 1: is this.

1000
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:41,280
Speaker 2: Yeah without a board. Yeah, if anything, just like Blase,

1001
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 2: just like strut strut struts.

1002
00:50:43,760 --> 00:50:45,320
Speaker 3: It's just very upsetting.

1003
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:45,840
Speaker 2: Okay.

1004
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 1: They went on a tour of the United States. They

1005
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: went to California, Arizona. Hope Wade took Mike on a

1006
00:50:50,719 --> 00:50:53,279
Speaker 1: tour of the southeastern United States when the Olceins had

1007
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 1: to return to their farm to get the harvest. Yes,

1008
00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 1: the bird's travels were carefully documented by Clara and a

1009
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 1: scrapbook that is preserved in the Walters Guns Safe today.

1010
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,239
Speaker 1: That's where you got to keep stuff, all right, that's

1011
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:06,120
Speaker 1: screen all right.

1012
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 3: Yep.

1013
00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:09,160
Speaker 1: People around the country wrote letters forty or fifteen, all

1014
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 1: not all positive.

1015
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:14,680
Speaker 3: Come on, keep it positive. Life's hard.

1016
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:20,719
Speaker 1: This is beautiful. One compared the Olsens to Nazis, just

1017
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,120
Speaker 1: to know, just to know that we've been doing that

1018
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:26,879
Speaker 1: since the forties. Yeah, anything goes that we don't agree with,

1019
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:27,840
Speaker 1: it's a Nazi.

1020
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

1021
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 1: You'd cut a chicken's head off and it's a you're

1022
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 1: a Nazi. Another from Alaska asked them to slap Mike's

1023
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 1: drumstick in exchange for a wooden leg.

1024
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:42,400
Speaker 2: I don't normal typically email, this is email. This is email.

1025
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:46,760
Speaker 1: Oh so one letter was just addressed to the owners

1026
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 1: of the headless chicken in Colorado and it's still found

1027
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:53,840
Speaker 1: their way to the family farm. That's amazing. This country

1028
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:55,280
Speaker 1: used to be so much smaller.

1029
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 3: Yeah. Uh, and it died in Phoenix for no reason.

1030
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:01,640
Speaker 1: Yeah that's the end.

1031
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:06,560
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, it keeps going.

1032
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:09,520
Speaker 3: But literally it just died for no reason. Yeah, that

1033
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:11,840
Speaker 3: studies over. But it was like eight months that it

1034
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 3: just lived without a head.

1035
00:52:13,960 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 2: Very strow okay, I mean I would go see it.

1036
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:19,719
Speaker 2: That's the thing like whenever you hear this stuff, you're

1037
00:52:19,760 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 2: like ridiculous, and then you're like five bucks when I

1038
00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 2: see no head that's been a live for somehow, Like, yes,

1039
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:24,719
Speaker 2: I'm in.

1040
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,040
Speaker 1: By any chance, could we get some vodka sodas to

1041
00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:28,560
Speaker 1: the states?

1042
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 2: We love?

1043
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 3: We were really we love drinking alcohol.

1044
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:38,160
Speaker 1: So this reminds me. So Scottie and I, oh, how

1045
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 1: long ago, eight years ago?

1046
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:41,080
Speaker 3: What are we talking about?

1047
00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 1: We're talking love butt?

1048
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:44,399
Speaker 2: Oh we did do the love but yeah.

1049
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 1: So we So we did a TV show where the

1050
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 1: finale of the TV show was that we had a

1051
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,680
Speaker 1: fifteen foot tall by thirty feet tall.

1052
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:53,840
Speaker 3: But double sided.

1053
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:57,160
Speaker 1: But a double sided butt had a tattoo on it

1054
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:58,920
Speaker 1: that had a heart on it, and that said, but

1055
00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:03,359
Speaker 1: inside the hear Kurt's idea, and we wanted to it

1056
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 1: was your idea. Well, the tattoo is your The butt

1057
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:06,360
Speaker 1: was my idea.

1058
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:08,799
Speaker 2: I was sitting alone one night and Comedy Central said

1059
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 2: we need something really big, something national for the third act,

1060
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 2: and I was I was sitting there on my deck

1061
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:18,319
Speaker 2: at night, and there's a train that I can see

1062
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 2: in the distance. I was like, it would be so

1063
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 2: funny if a butt went by right by and.

1064
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,919
Speaker 3: Then they pulled a train on a train on a train.

1065
00:53:25,040 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 2: If a butt went by on the train, my two

1066
00:53:27,040 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 2: thoughts were t Rex with guitar or butt.

1067
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, we went, we went butt.

1068
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 1: And so that's that was the whole plan. So we

1069
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:36,479
Speaker 1: found so we like essentially tried.

1070
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,120
Speaker 3: So we had this artist build this buke like trotter.

1071
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:43,720
Speaker 1: It was huge, and then we had it loaded onto

1072
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:45,239
Speaker 1: a train platform.

1073
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:45,919
Speaker 3: Yes we did.

1074
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:47,760
Speaker 2: We put it on a train, and then.

1075
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:51,560
Speaker 1: The train companies refused to transport it cross the country.

1076
00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:54,879
Speaker 3: True Coyote Logistics specifically was.

1077
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 2: Like we'll do it, and we're like cool, and they

1078
00:53:57,520 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 2: were like what is it.

1079
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 3: We're like, it's modern an art.

1080
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 2: And they were like, oh cool, and we're like we

1081
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 2: just need to get it from New York LA. Like

1082
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 2: you just lie you withhold, and so we're like, we

1083
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 2: need to get it from New York LA.

1084
00:54:10,560 --> 00:54:12,160
Speaker 3: It's modern art. The artist does want ever.

1085
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 2: Thank you so much, thank you, thank you so so much.

1086
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:21,680
Speaker 3: And then they said no, but we had already loaded

1087
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:23,799
Speaker 3: it on the train. It was on a train, and.

1088
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 1: So then we had like panic because this is like

1089
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:30,400
Speaker 1: literally what we need to finish this TV show. So

1090
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:35,560
Speaker 1: we loaded it onto a flatbed semi truck and then

1091
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 1: we drove it across the country.

1092
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,880
Speaker 3: Oh we did, We sure did, Yes we did.

1093
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,960
Speaker 1: And it was like amazing traveling with It's the same

1094
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:46,719
Speaker 1: way that like they travel with this chicken, because it

1095
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:49,799
Speaker 1: was like a sideshow of like everywhere we went. We

1096
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:50,239
Speaker 1: pulled in.

1097
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:53,440
Speaker 3: It's a but the size of the stage.

1098
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 1: Yeah okay, and it went almost to the ceiling.

1099
00:54:57,120 --> 00:55:00,960
Speaker 3: It went to the end. It's huge, such a big.

1100
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 1: Butt, and seeing it go by was so funny. We

1101
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:08,360
Speaker 1: were in the desert and I have like a shot

1102
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:10,960
Speaker 1: and I like ran up a hill and then Scotty

1103
00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 1: drove the butt on a dirt road at like fifty

1104
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,960
Speaker 1: miles an hour. Fun We have it in slow motion

1105
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:23,839
Speaker 1: and it's just a boucolic desert scene and then like

1106
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 1: smoke from the dirt of the desert blasting out from

1107
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:30,239
Speaker 1: behind this butt. It was fucking art.

1108
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 3: We doped this butt everywhere.

1109
00:55:33,120 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 2: We intentionally went to smaller cities. We would have come

1110
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 2: to Fort Wayne absolutely. I mean, I imagine this show.

1111
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:39,919
Speaker 2: But then you walk outside and there's a fourteen foot

1112
00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:40,920
Speaker 2: double side of butt.

1113
00:55:40,760 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 3: That you can just climb on. Yeah you can.

1114
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:45,839
Speaker 2: Somebody in Denver punched a hole right in the butt

1115
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:49,880
Speaker 2: hole also in Denver, right, Yeah. Also in Denver, we

1116
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 2: pulled up to a stand up show Kurt was going

1117
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:54,200
Speaker 2: to do, like a basement stand up show, and everybody

1118
00:55:54,239 --> 00:55:56,160
Speaker 2: just climbed up on the butt and it was to

1119
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:57,239
Speaker 2: this day, it's the grace scene.

1120
00:55:57,280 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 1: It was like thirty comics on the butt. And then

1121
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 1: we got a big photograph of it. And then we

1122
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:06,120
Speaker 1: went to Louisville, Kentucky. Did I did a show for

1123
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:09,319
Speaker 1: louis Is anybody from Louisville? Yeah?

1124
00:56:09,560 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 2: We like Louisville. Yeah, we have fun there. Weirdest stand

1125
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:14,920
Speaker 2: up show I've ever seen. They ask Kurt to be

1126
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 2: on it. Kurt is so generous with up and coming comics.

1127
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:22,960
Speaker 2: I mean, couldn't be nicer. Hot Tub, the show he's

1128
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:25,920
Speaker 2: done for years in LA and New York just builds

1129
00:56:25,960 --> 00:56:30,000
Speaker 2: young people up. I'm pretty great he is, I don't

1130
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 2: mind saying it. So very supportive of your boy.

1131
00:56:39,040 --> 00:56:39,920
Speaker 1: Just a short one.

1132
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:47,800
Speaker 2: The Tomas gotcha, Thomas gotcha. But my point is very supportive.

1133
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 2: And sometimes comics just strike out. Sometimes comics have an

1134
00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:53,280
Speaker 2: off night, right.

1135
00:56:53,280 --> 00:56:54,240
Speaker 1: And I've had many.

1136
00:56:54,840 --> 00:56:57,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, and sometimes it's just crickets and it's painful and

1137
00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:01,080
Speaker 2: it's hell. And we go to slow coffee shop in

1138
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:05,960
Speaker 2: Louisville and wet ut was an art gallery and four

1139
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 2: comics go up before Kirk. Kurt was the headliner, and

1140
00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 2: the four comics were doing comedy that is beyond definition.

1141
00:57:11,920 --> 00:57:15,120
Speaker 2: It was. It wasn't even it was in English. It

1142
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 2: was definitely in the language I'll speak.

1143
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:19,120
Speaker 1: But that was the last part that that was the

1144
00:57:19,120 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 1: only part you could understand about it.

1145
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 2: And Kurt, who I cannot emphasize he will support you

1146
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:28,080
Speaker 2: even if it's not going great. He gets up there

1147
00:57:28,080 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 2: and says, I don't think I've ever been to a

1148
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:35,240
Speaker 2: comedy show before where I don't even understand what any

1149
00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 2: of you are trying to say, the setups or the premises.

1150
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 2: One person, a man, pretended to be a nun and

1151
00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:47,640
Speaker 2: then re enacted a date gone bad by himself. That

1152
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 2: was so confusing we all got dumber in real time.

1153
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:56,440
Speaker 2: But one of the people there said, hey, do you

1154
00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 2: It was fourth of July, by the way, and they go,

1155
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:00,320
Speaker 2: do you want to come to fourth the j Live

1156
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:01,000
Speaker 2: party with us?

1157
00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 1: We're like, of course, we want to go.

1158
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:04,439
Speaker 3: Yes, Church withy f lareno is with us too.

1159
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so we go to this dude's house and

1160
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:10,800
Speaker 1: it was out like on the outskirts of Louisville, and

1161
00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:15,920
Speaker 1: they have what I can only describe as like a

1162
00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:19,400
Speaker 1: marine battalion's amount of explosive.

1163
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 2: They homemade fireworks. Yeah, h yes, you could take down

1164
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:28,840
Speaker 2: many small guam gone, you could take out small countries.

1165
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,240
Speaker 1: They had no orders that they would like light and

1166
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:33,959
Speaker 1: then drop and then like close their ears and would

1167
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 1: go run away and then it would just go all

1168
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:39,200
Speaker 1: the boom and they were just like pointed at things

1169
00:58:39,200 --> 00:58:42,480
Speaker 1: and then it would like and then explode against.

1170
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 3: Walls and stuff.

1171
00:58:43,120 --> 00:58:46,360
Speaker 2: They had a go cart that was like super iceby

1172
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 2: go cart that they put like that.

1173
00:58:48,440 --> 00:58:51,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, they put forty like fireworks.

1174
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:53,280
Speaker 2: Like this around the back of the go cart. Then

1175
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:56,400
Speaker 2: the drunkest man I ever saw in a kilt drives

1176
00:58:56,400 --> 00:58:59,040
Speaker 2: it down the street and they're just going off hidden

1177
00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:03,400
Speaker 2: houses and over and over, and we're like, oh cool.

1178
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:09,040
Speaker 1: Yes, they got a Japanese lantern and lit the Japanese lantern.

1179
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 3: It was a game though, what it was a game, and.

1180
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:14,600
Speaker 1: We all had Roman candles and then we all had

1181
00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:20,680
Speaker 1: to try and destroy jar lantern slowly floating up. The

1182
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:23,960
Speaker 1: first one immediately caught on fire and landed on the

1183
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:24,760
Speaker 1: neighbor's roof.

1184
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:29,120
Speaker 2: The second one caught on fire and got stuck in

1185
00:59:29,160 --> 00:59:31,000
Speaker 2: a tree, where it burned on fire.

1186
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:33,240
Speaker 3: The rest of the night.

1187
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 2: The main event besides the lighting mortars was pointing fireworks

1188
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 2: at the love butt in their yard and is shooting

1189
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:43,400
Speaker 2: it and then ricocheting straight up. Like any fireworks you've

1190
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:45,240
Speaker 2: ever seen are nowhere near as good.

1191
00:59:45,240 --> 00:59:47,800
Speaker 1: If they ricochet off of butt, it's really much better.

1192
00:59:48,600 --> 00:59:52,160
Speaker 2: It was so what Oh, and it's there. If anybody

1193
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:54,400
Speaker 2: ever goes to West Virginia, it's still no.

1194
00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 1: No, it's it's it's Charlottesville, Virginia.

1195
00:59:58,640 --> 01:00:02,280
Speaker 2: It's in Charlettsville, Virginia, an outdoor our park. People still.

1196
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:06,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really falling apart. It wasn't meant to be outside.

1197
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:08,920
Speaker 3: Boil boy, it was good. Do you want one.

1198
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 1: One more to send us home?

1199
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:11,040
Speaker 3: Really?

1200
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 2: Oh? I better pick carefully.

1201
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is our last one?

1202
01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:17,880
Speaker 3: Oofy doofye do Let me.

1203
01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 1: See classic saying of ooffee. Doo fee is a sixty

1204
01:00:25,960 --> 01:00:29,040
Speaker 1: year old Yeah, Detroit, yeah.

1205
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 3: Fe doofye. I'm a pretty good one. How about this,

1206
01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 3: I'm ready rocks.

1207
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:39,800
Speaker 2: Maggie sent this in thank you, Ron, Smaggie, don't what that.

1208
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 3: Means, Maggie rocks backwards.

1209
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 2: This was Washington Examiner. We were sent this by a

1210
01:00:45,920 --> 01:00:48,000
Speaker 2: lot of ban animals. We love the animals.

1211
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:49,960
Speaker 3: Written by Elizabeth Fattis, who is.

1212
01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:53,880
Speaker 1: The happy guys are still awake.

1213
01:00:56,360 --> 01:00:58,440
Speaker 2: It might be snowing out there, so be glad you're

1214
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:05,960
Speaker 2: in here. Texas football coaches strippers girlfriend's monkey bites child

1215
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 2: on Halloween.

1216
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:10,840
Speaker 3: Give it again for the folks in the back.

1217
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:17,080
Speaker 2: Let's go say one more time. Texas football coaches stripper

1218
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:21,360
Speaker 2: girlfriend's monkey bites child on Halloween.

1219
01:01:21,760 --> 01:01:24,880
Speaker 1: And what's and what's the stripper's name?

1220
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:30,360
Speaker 2: Scottie the strippers dancer's name is pol Assassin.

1221
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:40,560
Speaker 1: I would say it's pole assassin. Oh, it is poll assassin.

1222
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:43,800
Speaker 2: A monkey belonging to a stripper who is also what

1223
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:44,480
Speaker 2: do we call now?

1224
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:49,600
Speaker 1: It's dancers dancer, exotic dancer. He's not a sex worker,

1225
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:50,760
Speaker 1: a dancer.

1226
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:53,840
Speaker 3: Elizabeth Fattus is calling our strippers. So we're going to

1227
01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 3: go stripper, all right, Elizabeth, not us, Elizabeth pro do

1228
01:01:58,920 --> 01:01:59,439
Speaker 3: your job.

1229
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:02,720
Speaker 2: Keey belonging to a stripper dating a Texas football coach

1230
01:02:02,760 --> 01:02:05,800
Speaker 2: allegedly bit a child during a Halloween event at her home.

1231
01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:08,120
Speaker 3: This is fucking crazy, you know.

1232
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:10,440
Speaker 1: This is why this podcast was created.

1233
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:15,840
Speaker 2: Also Texas really just Texas Texas.

1234
01:02:16,120 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: Uh.

1235
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:22,440
Speaker 2: Danielle Banks, also known by her alias pol Assassin, is

1236
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:24,080
Speaker 2: the girlfriend of Jeff Banks.

1237
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:25,680
Speaker 3: So they both have the.

1238
01:02:25,640 --> 01:02:28,440
Speaker 2: Same last name, I guess, which is very strange now

1239
01:02:28,440 --> 01:02:29,000
Speaker 2: that I'm reading.

1240
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:30,600
Speaker 1: That's strange.

1241
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:33,080
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that he's these special teams coordinator for

1242
01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 2: Universe left his family for Pole Assassin.

1243
01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:39,520
Speaker 3: Correct, don't for Jeff Banks.

1244
01:02:39,680 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 2: Daniel Banks is monkey gea who participates in her dances.

1245
01:02:43,360 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 3: I'm having fun.

1246
01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:49,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, allegedly calls he is harmed to a child. We're

1247
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:52,320
Speaker 2: against armed children, putting that out there right now.

1248
01:02:52,800 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 1: We're against harvey children.

1249
01:02:54,720 --> 01:02:58,360
Speaker 2: We are pro healthy children on this podcast. I'm gonna

1250
01:02:58,360 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 2: go on it.

1251
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:03,360
Speaker 1: I'm against having a monkey, not a pet, Not a pet.

1252
01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:05,720
Speaker 1: My grandmother had a monkey for many years. She called

1253
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:08,280
Speaker 1: Bimbi because my mom wouldn't let her call it bimbo,

1254
01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:10,200
Speaker 1: which is what she wanted to call it.

1255
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:13,040
Speaker 3: It was for a monkey. Also miserable McCall.

1256
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:16,160
Speaker 1: Monkey Miserable lived in a trash can in a cage.

1257
01:03:16,200 --> 01:03:20,400
Speaker 3: All right, baby, the trash.

1258
01:03:20,120 --> 01:03:22,120
Speaker 1: Can was like it's home, but it was nice for

1259
01:03:25,280 --> 01:03:26,240
Speaker 1: it was scared.

1260
01:03:26,320 --> 01:03:27,120
Speaker 3: It was a different time.

1261
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:28,520
Speaker 1: It's supposed to be in a tree.

1262
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 2: My friend and a guy that I knew growing up,

1263
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:36,120
Speaker 2: his dad, his parents, his grandparents went to Florida and

1264
01:03:36,360 --> 01:03:37,520
Speaker 2: they were like, we need our car.

1265
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:39,160
Speaker 3: We're staying. We love it here.

1266
01:03:39,280 --> 01:03:43,080
Speaker 2: And so his dad drove their car from Massachusetts to

1267
01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:46,360
Speaker 2: Florida twenty four hours straight in the seventies and when

1268
01:03:46,360 --> 01:03:47,959
Speaker 2: they got there, they were like, well, buy a plane

1269
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:48,520
Speaker 2: ticket back.

1270
01:03:48,720 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 3: Do you want anything?

1271
01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:51,160
Speaker 2: He goes, I want a monkey, and they bought him

1272
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:54,280
Speaker 2: a pet. Monkey used to be having to buy monkeys

1273
01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:54,680
Speaker 2: in Florida.

1274
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go on. I just realized something I think

1275
01:03:56,880 --> 01:03:59,200
Speaker 1: I could. I would die on the hill of don't

1276
01:03:59,200 --> 01:04:00,880
Speaker 1: have a pet that in a tree.

1277
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:05,320
Speaker 3: Interesting birds, squirrels.

1278
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:10,960
Speaker 1: Monkeys, let them free, Let them free if they live

1279
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:13,800
Speaker 1: on the ground, because that's where we live. Unless you

1280
01:04:13,880 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 1: live in a tree. If you live in a tree,

1281
01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:19,240
Speaker 1: you can have tree pets, thank you. But if you

1282
01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:20,840
Speaker 1: don't live in a tree, you can't have tree pets.

1283
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:21,520
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.

1284
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 3: And no other podcasts they're talking about yes.

1285
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:24,960
Speaker 2: So.

1286
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:30,000
Speaker 1: About this also if you only way it makes sense

1287
01:04:30,040 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 1: that you own a bird is if someone comes up

1288
01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:33,440
Speaker 1: to you and throws a bird at you and you're like,

1289
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:37,400
Speaker 1: oh fuck, I own a bird. Now. Yeah, that's the

1290
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:41,120
Speaker 1: only way that that makes sense. Because their main thing

1291
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:44,480
Speaker 1: is they have beaks and claws for ripping and tearing.

1292
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:49,360
Speaker 1: That's what they do. Okay, they don't have paws for snuggling,

1293
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:55,080
Speaker 1: ripping and tearing birds and screaming.

1294
01:04:55,280 --> 01:04:57,400
Speaker 3: You know, behalf aur mysel looking at you.

1295
01:04:57,720 --> 01:05:02,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't see anything and all the exactly right. Network.

1296
01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:07,760
Speaker 2: Have a great Thanksgiving everybody. It's gonna be a beautiful

1297
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:12,720
Speaker 2: Texas photographer Tom Campbell tweeted he heard reports from a

1298
01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:16,280
Speaker 2: credible source that Texas Longhorn Special Teams coach Jeff Banks

1299
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:20,040
Speaker 2: that the monkey allegedly attacked and seriously heard a young

1300
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:24,160
Speaker 2: trick or treater last night on Halloween. Ooh, I mean god,

1301
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:26,760
Speaker 2: I just like a gnome. Some of you might have

1302
01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,640
Speaker 2: seen it. Kurt's children were scared of me.

1303
01:05:28,840 --> 01:05:29,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1304
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:33,760
Speaker 3: I didn't even bite them. Yeah, Campbell hauded.

1305
01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:38,040
Speaker 2: The monkeys jaws allegedly had to be pride off the child.

1306
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:40,760
Speaker 1: This isn't bananas.

1307
01:05:42,440 --> 01:05:45,840
Speaker 2: It's the most bananas so this is what. Yeah, the

1308
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:48,760
Speaker 2: pol assassin sent this out to her neighbors. Hey, neighbors,

1309
01:05:49,320 --> 01:05:51,680
Speaker 2: I have a built in haunted house mas in my house.

1310
01:05:51,720 --> 01:05:54,600
Speaker 2: I'm welcoming all kids Sunday seven to nine thirty pm.

1311
01:05:54,720 --> 01:05:58,320
Speaker 1: Also, my name is Polis sass And consider that before

1312
01:05:58,360 --> 01:05:59,439
Speaker 1: you bring your kids over.

1313
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:07,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe not the best idea. Before deleting her Twitter account,

1314
01:06:08,160 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 2: Banks defended herself, clarifying the eleven year old should have

1315
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:12,959
Speaker 2: known better before.

1316
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:14,800
Speaker 3: Entering somebody's backyard without permission.

1317
01:06:15,600 --> 01:06:17,320
Speaker 1: It's an eleven year old, yep.

1318
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:20,360
Speaker 2: She also added that there would be an adult party

1319
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:22,120
Speaker 2: from seven pm to eleven pm.

1320
01:06:22,760 --> 01:06:23,000
Speaker 3: What.

1321
01:06:23,760 --> 01:06:28,360
Speaker 2: She also added that'd be an adult party from seven

1322
01:06:28,440 --> 01:06:29,600
Speaker 2: pm to eleven pm.

1323
01:06:29,760 --> 01:06:32,280
Speaker 1: So maybe things got a little out of control at

1324
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:33,120
Speaker 1: the adult party.

1325
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:34,880
Speaker 3: Sounds like it.

1326
01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:37,040
Speaker 2: The rules were when you get to the gate, turn

1327
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:38,600
Speaker 2: around and come back for candy.

1328
01:06:38,880 --> 01:06:41,200
Speaker 3: Every other parent child did.

1329
01:06:41,040 --> 01:06:45,080
Speaker 1: So I don't even understand the physics of this.

1330
01:06:45,720 --> 01:06:49,840
Speaker 3: It all went bad. Yeah, the monkey bit a child yep.

1331
01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:53,280
Speaker 2: Bank said that the monkey butdding a child was a

1332
01:06:53,320 --> 01:06:55,800
Speaker 2: lie and the monkey was not part of the haunted house,

1333
01:06:55,880 --> 01:06:58,160
Speaker 2: which is why you have a monkey If it's not

1334
01:06:58,200 --> 01:07:00,520
Speaker 2: your hented house, can you think if you.

1335
01:07:00,480 --> 01:07:03,720
Speaker 1: Went there haunted house, and you went into five rooms.

1336
01:07:03,760 --> 01:07:06,400
Speaker 2: There's a good there's a vampire, and then you walk

1337
01:07:06,400 --> 01:07:08,640
Speaker 2: in the room and there's just any monkey in any

1338
01:07:08,640 --> 01:07:10,240
Speaker 2: empty room, monkey.

1339
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:13,840
Speaker 3: And the door closed behind you. Scariest room you've ever

1340
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:14,200
Speaker 3: been a.

1341
01:07:17,840 --> 01:07:20,280
Speaker 2: Growing up in Maryland, this isn't the story I was

1342
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:22,640
Speaker 2: gonna tell, But growing up in Maryland in York Pennsylvania,

1343
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:24,480
Speaker 2: which is right across the border, it's a very strange

1344
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:26,920
Speaker 2: sort of farming area, there was a haunted house. It

1345
01:07:26,960 --> 01:07:30,120
Speaker 2: was legendary, again pre internet legendary where people are like,

1346
01:07:30,120 --> 01:07:32,720
Speaker 2: you gotta go, it's the scariest one. So you drive

1347
01:07:32,800 --> 01:07:36,760
Speaker 2: up there like an hour, I suppose, and you'd go

1348
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:38,840
Speaker 2: and you'd buy your ticket and you wait this long

1349
01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:40,960
Speaker 2: ass line, and it was so well done. A giant

1350
01:07:41,120 --> 01:07:44,200
Speaker 2: old barn and a demon would lead you in and

1351
01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:46,560
Speaker 2: then it was like really scary rooms. The greatest thing

1352
01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:49,160
Speaker 2: they did was you would go in this dark hallway

1353
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:51,360
Speaker 2: and then they had this like revolving door thing that

1354
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:52,280
Speaker 2: would separate you.

1355
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:54,600
Speaker 3: So everybody goes in a different path.

1356
01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:57,720
Speaker 2: So I'm in pure darkness and all four or five

1357
01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:00,640
Speaker 2: of us get separated, and the two girls I was

1358
01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:03,480
Speaker 2: with Danielle and Jesse. They were like, this isn't scary.

1359
01:08:03,520 --> 01:08:05,440
Speaker 2: This is stupid, This is stupid, this isn't scary. They

1360
01:08:05,480 --> 01:08:07,840
Speaker 2: were scared out of their fucking minds. They were just lying.

1361
01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:10,440
Speaker 3: So I get separated and then I'm in a room.

1362
01:08:10,520 --> 01:08:11,800
Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, where are you guys?

1363
01:08:12,120 --> 01:08:14,640
Speaker 2: And I can't hear anybody, and it's pure darkness, I

1364
01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:17,680
Speaker 2: mean pitch dark. So then you start feeling around the

1365
01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:20,679
Speaker 2: walls and there's like wind on you. What feel around?

1366
01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:24,120
Speaker 2: And then I feel this hole and I reached down

1367
01:08:24,160 --> 01:08:26,519
Speaker 2: into this hole and I realized it's a slide, So

1368
01:08:26,560 --> 01:08:28,160
Speaker 2: then I get into a slide and you do this

1369
01:08:28,240 --> 01:08:29,360
Speaker 2: curdly slide down.

1370
01:08:29,160 --> 01:08:29,639
Speaker 3: Of the doctor.

1371
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:34,040
Speaker 2: It's incredible, right, It's incredible. So yeah, and then we

1372
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:36,280
Speaker 2: all meet up in this other room. There's strobe lights

1373
01:08:36,280 --> 01:08:38,280
Speaker 2: and chain swinging, and this giant thing that looks out

1374
01:08:38,439 --> 01:08:40,679
Speaker 2: like it's out of a tool music videos comes crawling

1375
01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:43,720
Speaker 2: out and then the Demon's like, come, you're safe, and

1376
01:08:43,760 --> 01:08:45,160
Speaker 2: then the door's open and you leave.

1377
01:08:45,320 --> 01:08:46,600
Speaker 1: Oh this sounds amazing.

1378
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:50,000
Speaker 2: These two girls again, it's like an hour drive in

1379
01:08:50,040 --> 01:08:55,840
Speaker 2: my sweetest Champagne Corolla, Champagne Champagne color Toileta Corolla, not

1380
01:08:56,040 --> 01:09:00,760
Speaker 2: to brag one hundred and thirty five thousand miles and so.

1381
01:09:00,840 --> 01:09:02,799
Speaker 2: But they were like, yeah, that was fine, I guess whatever.

1382
01:09:02,840 --> 01:09:03,360
Speaker 3: It was fine.

1383
01:09:03,479 --> 01:09:05,320
Speaker 2: And so we're walking to the parking lot and then

1384
01:09:05,360 --> 01:09:07,200
Speaker 2: a guy comes out with a chainsaw, screaming at you,

1385
01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:09,439
Speaker 2: ripping the chainsaw, and they both pissed their parents, both

1386
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:14,439
Speaker 2: of them simultaneously. The two coolest people in York Pennsylvania

1387
01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:17,600
Speaker 2: scream so hard at the last thing out of the

1388
01:09:17,640 --> 01:09:20,080
Speaker 2: barn and then you know where to dude, drive one

1389
01:09:20,160 --> 01:09:23,120
Speaker 2: hour with two women who had beat their bets back

1390
01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:25,920
Speaker 2: to Maryland. The old line in state south of the

1391
01:09:25,960 --> 01:09:32,120
Speaker 2: Mason Dixon. Yeah, okay, crazy. So anyways, I want to

1392
01:09:32,160 --> 01:09:34,639
Speaker 2: talk about this treehouse of Terror.

1393
01:09:34,840 --> 01:09:36,000
Speaker 3: Yeah remember that? What?

1394
01:09:36,320 --> 01:09:38,760
Speaker 2: Okay, we went on that Remember in New Orleans, that

1395
01:09:38,840 --> 01:09:41,400
Speaker 2: treehouse that you climb up in the middle of nowhere.

1396
01:09:41,560 --> 01:09:46,439
Speaker 1: This was It was my friend who lives in New Orleans, Jordan,

1397
01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:48,760
Speaker 1: who used to live in New Orleans, and he was like,

1398
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:51,519
Speaker 1: you gotta go here. And one night we went there.

1399
01:09:51,560 --> 01:09:54,120
Speaker 1: I think I went there without you, Yeah, before time.

1400
01:09:54,240 --> 01:09:56,559
Speaker 1: Then I brought you and the first time I went,

1401
01:09:56,680 --> 01:09:58,479
Speaker 1: literally it was like four.

1402
01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:00,040
Speaker 3: In the morning, called the Treehouse of Death.

1403
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:02,479
Speaker 1: And no one was there. It's just like a house.

1404
01:10:02,520 --> 01:10:05,040
Speaker 1: It's a person's house. And then they have a backyard

1405
01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:07,840
Speaker 1: and in the backyard they have four giant trees. And

1406
01:10:07,880 --> 01:10:12,519
Speaker 1: then these people, these amazing artist lunatics, have.

1407
01:10:12,760 --> 01:10:20,680
Speaker 4: Built a series of weird contraption between trees that you like,

1408
01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:24,040
Speaker 4: you're literally at one point you're crawling up like a

1409
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:27,160
Speaker 4: giant fence put on its side and then tied up

1410
01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:27,559
Speaker 4: like this.

1411
01:10:27,760 --> 01:10:31,559
Speaker 1: It's so enough fee but toss seas straight through and

1412
01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:33,920
Speaker 1: you're crawling like forty five feet up in the air.

1413
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:36,479
Speaker 1: And then at one point you're in a tree with

1414
01:10:36,680 --> 01:10:40,599
Speaker 1: an alien spaceship that's been out of two satellite dishes

1415
01:10:40,600 --> 01:10:43,880
Speaker 1: from the eighties all together, and you crawl inside of

1416
01:10:43,880 --> 01:10:46,439
Speaker 1: it and it's all rickety like it's all.

1417
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:48,800
Speaker 2: That.

1418
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:51,559
Speaker 3: We're like, let's build a thing, and it was.

1419
01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:52,800
Speaker 1: It's the most amazing place.

1420
01:10:52,840 --> 01:10:55,479
Speaker 2: And we went and later to the show that I

1421
01:10:55,479 --> 01:10:57,920
Speaker 2: did down there. So I did a show called House

1422
01:10:57,920 --> 01:10:59,320
Speaker 2: Party on Frenchman Street, Norance.

1423
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:01,559
Speaker 3: Has anybody been New Orleans? Anybody here?

1424
01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:06,040
Speaker 2: So it's lawless, it's the best. We will definitely start

1425
01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:08,400
Speaker 2: our tour there next time. So there was this thing

1426
01:11:08,479 --> 01:11:12,799
Speaker 2: called the Red House. The Red House was this artist commune.

1427
01:11:12,800 --> 01:11:15,080
Speaker 2: It was like an old mansion. When I was running

1428
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:17,640
Speaker 2: the show there, I had this extra and extras for

1429
01:11:17,720 --> 01:11:19,880
Speaker 2: anybody who's ever been an extra, I wants to be

1430
01:11:19,920 --> 01:11:21,479
Speaker 2: on TV. That the people in the background that just

1431
01:11:21,479 --> 01:11:23,240
Speaker 2: don't say anything and they're just there. It's people at

1432
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:25,920
Speaker 2: the bar, it's people at the restaurant, and they always

1433
01:11:25,920 --> 01:11:27,720
Speaker 2: try to get on camera. They're always are doing that

1434
01:11:27,720 --> 01:11:29,200
Speaker 2: thing where it's like there's a fight over here, and

1435
01:11:29,240 --> 01:11:33,120
Speaker 2: they're like, and you're like, okay, your face got on camera.

1436
01:11:33,160 --> 01:11:34,559
Speaker 3: I call your parents. It's great.

1437
01:11:35,200 --> 01:11:39,080
Speaker 2: There's this guy named Das Dazz, white guy, very interesting man,

1438
01:11:39,280 --> 01:11:41,160
Speaker 2: would like come shirt lists. We're like, put clothes on,

1439
01:11:41,240 --> 01:11:44,760
Speaker 2: it's not that show. And he goes, do you want

1440
01:11:44,760 --> 01:11:48,040
Speaker 2: to do something wild tonight? And I go, yeah, Das,

1441
01:11:48,560 --> 01:11:52,040
Speaker 2: I do, and he's like, come to the Red House.

1442
01:11:52,840 --> 01:11:54,800
Speaker 2: So we come to the Red House and I was

1443
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:57,320
Speaker 2: a Christian and rich and we go in and it

1444
01:11:57,400 --> 01:12:02,440
Speaker 2: was diy strip night. Oh. What that means is anybody

1445
01:12:02,520 --> 01:12:07,360
Speaker 2: can strip anybody, any performance, any song, anything.

1446
01:12:07,439 --> 01:12:09,000
Speaker 1: So it's open streep.

1447
01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:11,280
Speaker 2: It's an open mic of stripping, okay, And the way

1448
01:12:11,280 --> 01:12:12,880
Speaker 2: it works is you pay a cover and then you

1449
01:12:12,920 --> 01:12:14,720
Speaker 2: give them like twenty or forty bucks, and then they

1450
01:12:14,760 --> 01:12:17,040
Speaker 2: give you paper dollars. They made their own money out

1451
01:12:17,040 --> 01:12:19,040
Speaker 2: of like paper that was like red house money, so

1452
01:12:19,439 --> 01:12:22,559
Speaker 2: they would if the dancer would take what they got

1453
01:12:22,560 --> 01:12:23,120
Speaker 2: on stage.

1454
01:12:23,200 --> 01:12:25,040
Speaker 3: I think it was like a loophole so they could.

1455
01:12:25,240 --> 01:12:27,679
Speaker 1: It didn't right right, right, So there's not no actual money.

1456
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:29,040
Speaker 3: We give forty bucks.

1457
01:12:29,280 --> 01:12:31,439
Speaker 1: These are just friends dancing naked for each other. This

1458
01:12:31,560 --> 01:12:32,280
Speaker 1: isn't for money.

1459
01:12:32,439 --> 01:12:35,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is just fun. We're just handing paper and.

1460
01:12:35,240 --> 01:12:38,000
Speaker 1: Selling and they're just they happen to be naked on

1461
01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:40,280
Speaker 1: a stage with lots of music and people are going crazy.

1462
01:12:40,320 --> 01:12:42,160
Speaker 2: And I've been talking this up to all these comics

1463
01:12:42,160 --> 01:12:44,479
Speaker 2: on the show, and I'm like, there's a ship club.

1464
01:12:44,560 --> 01:12:46,960
Speaker 3: We gotta go. This sounds insane. So we go in.

1465
01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:50,360
Speaker 3: We get a bunch of paper money, and it's incredible.

1466
01:12:50,479 --> 01:12:53,360
Speaker 2: It's incredible. It's four times bigger than this room. There's

1467
01:12:53,360 --> 01:12:55,600
Speaker 2: a huge stage that's like six feet up, like you

1468
01:12:56,000 --> 01:12:58,879
Speaker 2: have like hand money up like this. There's bars everywhere,

1469
01:12:59,120 --> 01:13:01,600
Speaker 2: and then they build a trail just like the Treehouse.

1470
01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:04,439
Speaker 3: Like if you've ever liked gerbils and hamsters.

1471
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:06,799
Speaker 2: Have those teas, Yeah, so it is above it, above

1472
01:13:06,920 --> 01:13:09,000
Speaker 2: the stage, above everywhere you have to climb nets, you're

1473
01:13:09,040 --> 01:13:10,120
Speaker 2: climbing through tubes.

1474
01:13:10,439 --> 01:13:12,959
Speaker 3: It was fantastic. I walk in, I hear Scotti.

1475
01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,680
Speaker 2: I see this graffiti artist I used to know in

1476
01:13:15,720 --> 01:13:19,639
Speaker 2: Brooklyn named Tony Below, Tony Bon, Tony Baloney, Tony Bones,

1477
01:13:20,000 --> 01:13:20,960
Speaker 2: He Tony Bones.

1478
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:23,400
Speaker 3: It makes knives now and Tony Bloney goes Scott A.

1479
01:13:23,960 --> 01:13:26,280
Speaker 2: Just smells so bad it like peels the paint off

1480
01:13:26,280 --> 01:13:27,960
Speaker 2: the walls. And he comes to me. He's like, what

1481
01:13:27,960 --> 01:13:30,280
Speaker 2: are you doing here? I'm like, I don't know. He's like,

1482
01:13:30,320 --> 01:13:31,240
Speaker 2: I'm the security.

1483
01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:34,679
Speaker 3: We're like, oh, it's gonna be wild. So we find

1484
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:35,200
Speaker 3: a perch.

1485
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:37,800
Speaker 2: Kristin Rich and I find this perch and we're looking

1486
01:13:37,840 --> 01:13:41,559
Speaker 2: down and the first twenty acts are just all of us.

1487
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:42,920
Speaker 3: If you've ever needed.

1488
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:45,439
Speaker 2: To make money, And people come out to some weird

1489
01:13:45,479 --> 01:13:47,599
Speaker 2: song that they love and they do a bad strip

1490
01:13:47,680 --> 01:13:50,400
Speaker 2: tease and then they get off stage. Oh wow, so

1491
01:13:50,479 --> 01:13:53,360
Speaker 2: they're making forty to fifty bucks. Everybody's getting drunk, but

1492
01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:55,160
Speaker 2: it feels like it felt like a let down. It

1493
01:13:55,200 --> 01:13:58,080
Speaker 2: was like, shit, this could have been amazing. And then

1494
01:13:58,600 --> 01:14:03,320
Speaker 2: it turns and we're about to leave. Oh, and the

1495
01:14:03,360 --> 01:14:05,599
Speaker 2: one side note is one of the comics was a

1496
01:14:05,640 --> 01:14:09,240
Speaker 2: former merchant Marine and two of his merchant Marine buddies

1497
01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:13,719
Speaker 2: came and they performed. These two guys they came on stage.

1498
01:14:14,080 --> 01:14:18,040
Speaker 2: They got naked, fully naked, these two merchant Marines, and

1499
01:14:18,080 --> 01:14:20,960
Speaker 2: then they jumped rope naked, and nobody liked it.

1500
01:14:22,640 --> 01:14:24,160
Speaker 3: Nobody was a jump rope.

1501
01:14:24,160 --> 01:14:25,599
Speaker 1: Where'd they get the jump rope?

1502
01:14:25,640 --> 01:14:27,760
Speaker 2: They one held one in his left hand, one held

1503
01:14:27,760 --> 01:14:30,400
Speaker 2: those right hand, and they had very small penises and

1504
01:14:30,479 --> 01:14:35,280
Speaker 2: they jump roped and everybody was like just stop, like here,

1505
01:14:35,439 --> 01:14:38,599
Speaker 2: here's this for you. So we were kind of gonna

1506
01:14:38,680 --> 01:14:40,320
Speaker 2: let down. I had to work and show the next day.

1507
01:14:40,880 --> 01:14:45,360
Speaker 2: And then Daz comes out. Das comes out in tidy

1508
01:14:45,360 --> 01:14:48,400
Speaker 2: whities in Indiandi call them tidy whities, right, some people

1509
01:14:48,400 --> 01:14:49,439
Speaker 2: call whitey tities.

1510
01:14:50,040 --> 01:14:51,479
Speaker 1: No they do, yes, they do.

1511
01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:56,160
Speaker 2: Somebody what it's weird teddy whities wrapped in barbed wire.

1512
01:14:56,479 --> 01:14:59,240
Speaker 2: His whole body is wrapped in barbed wire. This is Das,

1513
01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:02,840
Speaker 2: the extra that kept being like that drink looks good.

1514
01:15:02,880 --> 01:15:07,960
Speaker 2: You're like, don't you talk? And he dances erotically and

1515
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:12,080
Speaker 2: rolls around and bleeds. So he's bleeding and so every

1516
01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:14,639
Speaker 2: every hit barbed wire, like literal barbed wire all over

1517
01:15:14,680 --> 01:15:17,000
Speaker 2: his body, and they were like, we're not going anywhere,

1518
01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:21,680
Speaker 2: get another vodside, We're gonna party. The night culminates. If

1519
01:15:21,680 --> 01:15:23,680
Speaker 2: anybody's ever been to New Orleans, I know we have

1520
01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:27,000
Speaker 2: many times. There's a thing called Blue Dog. Blue Dog

1521
01:15:27,120 --> 01:15:31,120
Speaker 2: is like an artist named George Rodriguez. It's a imagine

1522
01:15:31,120 --> 01:15:34,120
Speaker 2: a blue fox's face and it's everywhere. And when the

1523
01:15:34,160 --> 01:15:36,679
Speaker 2: guy was alive, the paintings were cheap, and now that he's dead,

1524
01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:39,240
Speaker 2: they're worth tens and tens of thousands of dollars.

1525
01:15:39,680 --> 01:15:41,400
Speaker 3: It's like, you know this corporate or or whatever.

1526
01:15:41,720 --> 01:15:43,360
Speaker 2: He's not corporate r but it was like the whole

1527
01:15:43,360 --> 01:15:47,200
Speaker 2: city knows what Blue Dog is here, teenage lyft drivers,

1528
01:15:47,479 --> 01:15:48,559
Speaker 2: teenage priest us.

1529
01:15:49,479 --> 01:15:54,160
Speaker 3: So the last act of the night, a guy comes out.

1530
01:15:54,200 --> 01:15:59,080
Speaker 2: He looks a magician, ponytail, little glasses, normal clothes, he's

1531
01:15:59,080 --> 01:16:01,920
Speaker 2: got a leash. There's a woman in a nude suit.

1532
01:16:02,439 --> 01:16:05,760
Speaker 2: She's got a giant blue dog mask on, and they

1533
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:08,080
Speaker 2: come walking out. She's crawling like a dog with a

1534
01:16:08,160 --> 01:16:11,320
Speaker 2: leash around her neck. And it's really weird. It's weirder

1535
01:16:11,320 --> 01:16:14,559
Speaker 2: than what you're thinking, right, now and they come out

1536
01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:16,840
Speaker 2: to how much is that dog in the window?

1537
01:16:16,640 --> 01:16:16,760
Speaker 1: Now?

1538
01:16:16,880 --> 01:16:18,960
Speaker 3: How much dog in there?

1539
01:16:19,040 --> 01:16:19,200
Speaker 1: Now?

1540
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:22,240
Speaker 3: At boring and we're like, what is this?

1541
01:16:22,479 --> 01:16:25,640
Speaker 2: And then when it gets like I hope that he

1542
01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:29,120
Speaker 2: is for sale, it cuts to like Slayer.

1543
01:16:29,960 --> 01:16:32,800
Speaker 3: He throws the leash down. The blue Dog's face is

1544
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:34,719
Speaker 3: just doing this the whole time.

1545
01:16:35,320 --> 01:16:38,240
Speaker 2: He drops to his knees, rips open the back of

1546
01:16:38,400 --> 01:16:40,880
Speaker 2: like where her tail is, pulls out chocolate pudding and

1547
01:16:40,920 --> 01:16:46,280
Speaker 2: starts smashing on his face. Then for four minutes they

1548
01:16:46,400 --> 01:16:51,400
Speaker 2: simulate sex and all of us are going, oh my god.

1549
01:16:52,280 --> 01:16:55,519
Speaker 2: To say the money was snowing, it was. It was

1550
01:16:55,560 --> 01:16:59,120
Speaker 2: a blizzard of money where we're like, this is why

1551
01:16:59,160 --> 01:17:03,680
Speaker 2: we came to the Redhouse. I've seen something that we

1552
01:17:03,720 --> 01:17:06,280
Speaker 2: gave dazz a line the next day on the show

1553
01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:08,360
Speaker 2: was the crazy.

1554
01:17:08,360 --> 01:17:10,639
Speaker 3: It was the most New Orleans thing I've ever seen.

1555
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:13,800
Speaker 2: All I can encourage is everybody says, this pandemic and

1556
01:17:13,960 --> 01:17:14,880
Speaker 2: go down there.

1557
01:17:16,840 --> 01:17:18,960
Speaker 3: But yes, the blue.

1558
01:17:18,680 --> 01:17:21,519
Speaker 2: Dog simulated sex scene two, how much is that dog

1559
01:17:21,560 --> 01:17:22,120
Speaker 2: in the window?

1560
01:17:22,600 --> 01:17:27,760
Speaker 3: Into like raining blood by Slayer and then just a

1561
01:17:27,800 --> 01:17:29,680
Speaker 3: man eating dog diarrhea.

1562
01:17:30,120 --> 01:17:33,160
Speaker 2: That's some good art, all right, rats?

1563
01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:34,519
Speaker 3: And that is.

1564
01:17:37,040 --> 01:17:37,240
Speaker 4: Right?

1565
01:17:37,439 --> 01:17:42,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, One two three, Let's do it again.

1566
01:17:42,240 --> 01:17:44,320
Speaker 3: Let's do it again. Everybody opening this is allowed.

1567
01:17:44,320 --> 01:17:52,200
Speaker 2: It's going to end the episode one two three, Thank

1568
01:17:52,240 --> 01:17:53,920
Speaker 2: you very much. Way.

1569
01:17:59,080 --> 01:18:02,080
Speaker 1: This has been in a exactly right production, produced and

1570
01:18:02,120 --> 01:18:03,920
Speaker 1: engineered by Katie Levine.

1571
01:18:03,720 --> 01:18:05,920
Speaker 3: The music by Kahan, and all of our.

1572
01:18:05,920 --> 01:18:07,599
Speaker 1: Artwork is done by Travis Millard.

1573
01:18:07,840 --> 01:18:10,559
Speaker 5: You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast,

1574
01:18:10,560 --> 01:18:12,760
Speaker 5: where we post stories every day and things that we

1575
01:18:12,800 --> 01:18:14,240
Speaker 5: don't cover on the podcast.

1576
01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:18,320
Speaker 1: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast, Stitcher,

1577
01:18:18,400 --> 01:18:19,840
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcast.

1578
01:18:20,160 --> 01:18:23,240
Speaker 5: And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email

1579
01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:26,200
Speaker 5: us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's

1580
01:18:26,360 --> 01:18:36,640
Speaker 5: the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.

1581
01:18:36,920 --> 01:18:37,160
Speaker 2: Try