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Speaker 1: Unhinged neighbors smashes my door in. Is she trying to

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Speaker 1: rob me?

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Speaker 2: Nah, dude, she's just new to the neighborhood and wants

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Speaker 2: to give you some cookies.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. She was like, hey, look, I really need you

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Speaker 1: to take these cookies. Okay, they're delicious and they're gonna

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Speaker 1: go stale. They're so good you don't want to miss it.

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Speaker 1: And here's some milk. My kids and I moved into

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Speaker 1: a house in March. Day two in my new house,

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Speaker 1: I tripped over a broken paver. I didn't break anything,

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Speaker 1: but I still needed surgery, a three night hospital stay

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Speaker 1: in a leg brace for two full weeks. Dang, that

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Speaker 1: is awful. While I was in the hospital, my partner

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Speaker 1: formerly ex partner, but now we've reconciled. It's complicated. Sounds

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Speaker 1: complicated very much. My partner, Martin, my dad's sister, my bestie,

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Speaker 1: and her wife had formed an emergency team. They kept

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Speaker 1: my kids and pets safe and fed, and finished the unpacking.

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Speaker 1: Dad and Martin did a little garden work, removing the

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Speaker 1: broken paver and laying out some old fence posts along

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Speaker 1: the fence where the next door neighbor's dog was digging

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Speaker 1: through Week one, I hobbled to the letterbox and met

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Speaker 1: next door's landlord, who my partner has nicknamed the bucket

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Speaker 1: woman the bucket woman. Bucket Woman immediately told me to

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Speaker 1: bring in my bins by nine am because it made

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Speaker 1: the street look messy. How dare you defy the classic

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Speaker 1: street up? Bucket woman would say, I will keep my

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Speaker 1: streets clean at any cost, including your life. My goodness,

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Speaker 1: She demanded that I moved the posts because the grass

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Speaker 1: would grow through her side. What does that mean? Uh,

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Speaker 1: Jimmy moved the post? Uh, because the grass would grow

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Speaker 1: onto her lawn. That's okay. I explained the reason for

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Speaker 1: the posts and said that once the holes are filled in,

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Speaker 1: let me know and I would move them. And also, hello,

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Speaker 1: how do you do still? Week one? On bin day,

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Speaker 1: nine ten am, bucket Woman on my door. I'm still

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Speaker 1: in my pjs and my leg brace. She was complaining

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Speaker 1: about the bins. What I said, my best friend is

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Speaker 1: coming by later to help me get dressed. I couldn't defeat.

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Speaker 1: I'll bring the bins in later. When my best friend

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Speaker 1: pulled up, she had to park out front because my

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Speaker 1: bins were in the driveway. I checked the council bylaws

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Speaker 1: don't have a deadline for bringing the bins in. So

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Speaker 1: this is literally bucket lady just being like, you must

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Speaker 1: bring them in right now, but I will guess to

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Speaker 1: spend on you next. Martin got temporary approval for work

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Speaker 1: at home at my place. I got home and Martin

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Speaker 1: was a scorting bucket woman off of the property. No

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Speaker 1: bucket woman trespassed. Bucket woman thought nobody was home and

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Speaker 1: tried to sneak in and move the posts. Guys, you

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Speaker 1: got a plotter for her dedication to the neighborhood cleanliness.

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Speaker 1: She has really taken one for the team. Martin said,

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Speaker 1: next time he calls the yeah yeah, throwing that bucket

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Speaker 1: in jail lady needs to kick her bucket really. A

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Speaker 1: few weeks ago, the police arrived. Martin was at work

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Speaker 1: and said a concerned neighbor called about a man and

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Speaker 1: a woman having a domestic dispute and the man was

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Speaker 1: destroying the fence. Wait a second, is bucket woman really

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Speaker 1: playing this forty chess out here?

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Speaker 2: I think bucket woman's doing some false calls right now?

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Speaker 2: Whoa bucket woman? Bucket woman is out front watching. Once

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Speaker 2: they're satisfied, I'm okay and there's no damage. I explained

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Speaker 2: about last week, and I showed them security footage. Later,

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Speaker 2: I see them speaking with bucket Women. She isn't happy

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Speaker 2: and she goes inside.

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Speaker 1: I was working nights and the police visit had taken

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Speaker 1: up a lot of my precious sleeping time.

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Speaker 2: Bucket Woman is going to get her revenge. If there's

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Speaker 2: one thing I know about bucket Woman is she'll do

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Speaker 2: anything to.

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Speaker 1: Make sure her streets are clean. The streets of this

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Speaker 1: city need to be clean. Scum mistic in me. Even

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Speaker 1: if I have to burn it to the ground and

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Speaker 1: it's a nice flat, clean ashes, I will have my way.

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Speaker 1: I was no one before I put on the bucket,

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Speaker 1: but now I live and die by the bucket. I wonder.

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Speaker 1: I'm so curious to find out. It's like when they

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Speaker 1: say the movie title in the movie, like, what does

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Speaker 1: the bucket mean? You know, I'm held in suspense over okay.

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Speaker 1: It's a symbol, a symbol of people that rely on

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Speaker 1: we fight the tyranny of messy neighbors. When you see

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Speaker 1: a bucket in the sky, you know that help is close.

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Speaker 1: So good, Bucket Lady strikes again. Now the penny has dropped.

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Speaker 1: Bucket Woman just let herself in while the tenants were

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Speaker 1: at work. How does she do that? Just super buckets,

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Speaker 1: I said, how did she do that? She's fucking bucket woman.

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Speaker 1: She has a bucket cannon that just shoots like a cement.

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Speaker 1: Build buckets at doors. That's insane buckets. So I spoke

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Speaker 1: with the tenants and I was blunt. I asked them

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Speaker 1: if they were okay with bucket women being in the

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Speaker 1: house while they were out, and said I had seen

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Speaker 1: her there at least once a week. In a nutshell,

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Speaker 1: they were not okay with that. Who could have guessed. Later,

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Speaker 1: one of the guys came around with a box of Chalky's.

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Speaker 2: Bucket Woman cookie Nemesis bucks bus man.

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Speaker 1: I'm here to close the lid on you, Bucket Lady.

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Speaker 1: The neighbors thanked me and said they were moving out

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Speaker 1: right away. Wow. Wow, Bucket Lady has powers, dude, for real.

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Speaker 1: Bucket Woman was furious at me. She says, I made

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Speaker 1: her tenants leave and got her in trouble with the

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Speaker 1: rental agents too, as she should. Yeah, she told me

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Speaker 1: I made the street look messy and hang underwear on

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Speaker 1: the washing line. So how will she get new tenants?

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Speaker 1: What is what? Is there stupid?

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Speaker 2: A washing line is built for clothes. Are you gonna

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Speaker 2: hang on the washing line?

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Speaker 1: Buckets?

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Speaker 2: I would love all these houses to look like big

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Speaker 2: old buckets.

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Speaker 1: I wanted so badly to tell her to get off

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Speaker 1: my lawn. And now we have some updates. Update one,

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Speaker 1: I just got off the phone with the council. Someone

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Speaker 1: has complained that I removed a protected tree from my property. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna enjoy this. Update number two. I spoke to

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Speaker 1: the council again. The complaint is definitely that the tree

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Speaker 1: was removed. The tree is definitely still there and visible

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Speaker 1: from the street.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, like it makes I think that would make

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Speaker 2: anyone pale.

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Speaker 1: The bucket puns are strong in this episode. Uh. The

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Speaker 1: council is sending someone there to inspect the tree. Martin

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Speaker 1: and I will be there, armed with reports and photographs.

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Speaker 1: I did a bit for democracy and the nice neighbors

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Speaker 1: from the other side were in the queue to vote

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Speaker 1: ahead of me. They took their own photos of the

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Speaker 1: storm damage to the tree, and OMG, it was scarier

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Speaker 1: from their side of the fence. I've added the photos

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Speaker 1: to the file. Next door didn't have any problems with

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Speaker 1: Bucket woman trespassing, but he's retired and she works from home.

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Speaker 1: The bloke hates her guts and is happy to keep

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Speaker 1: an eye on the backyard when we are out. Now

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Speaker 1: there's a few relevant comminents. Oh dear, no, you hang

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Speaker 1: your underwear on the washing line. That's what I was saying,

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Speaker 1: That's what it's belt for, right. I was on your

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Speaker 1: side until that part. You are literally hitler. Now, how

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Speaker 1: will anyone on the entire street ever get a tenant? Again?

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Speaker 1: Laughing emoji? I know I'm a monster. Seriously, my washing

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Speaker 1: line is lower than the height of the fence, so

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Speaker 1: the only way that she can see anyone I'm hanging

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Speaker 1: there is if she's looking over it. Come on, dude,

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Speaker 1: standing on a bus. Oh my god, this woman is ridiculous.

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Speaker 1: Sorry as I am that this is what you have

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Speaker 1: to deal with next door. I really appreciate the funny stories, op.

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Speaker 1: I think if I don't turn her into a joke,

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Speaker 1: I'd find her way more irritating and stressful. That is,

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Speaker 1: she point blank asked my partner if I am pregnant.

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Speaker 1: He told her I was sensitive about my COVID kilos.

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Speaker 1: Damn dude, By the way, I am pregnant, and I

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Speaker 1: checked the council website. I don't need a permit to

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Speaker 1: construct a new human.

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Speaker 2: Wow, these like like hoa kind of communities.

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Speaker 1: Are crazy something it is too much, too much. I

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Speaker 1: probably crazy ho stories is probably really good genre. That's

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Speaker 1: a great subcategory. Yeah for probably a big old bucket

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Speaker 1: of those stories. Oh yeah, overflowing, overflowing. Onto the next update.

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Speaker 1: So bucket woman has not learned her lesson. First thing

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Speaker 1: we did was add more security cameras, so now most

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Speaker 1: of the property is covered and we are shocked to

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Speaker 1: see how often she was coming onto our prop and

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Speaker 1: looking through our windows. Wow, that this is just getting

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Speaker 1: so much worse. Dude, she needs a hobby, she really does.

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Speaker 1: She needs a hobby, bucket making. Bucket making. I felt

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Speaker 1: sick to my stomach. The reason she knows what's on

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Speaker 1: my washing line is because she's coming into our yard

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Speaker 1: and checking from there. Not gonna lie. I had a

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Speaker 1: bad period where I just blamed myself for bringing everyone

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Speaker 1: else in the household into this. We spoke to the

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Speaker 1: kids and they find her annoying but not creepy, if

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Speaker 1: that makes sense. We're checking in regularly with how they're coping.

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Speaker 1: Martin hand delivered a letter to the bucket lady telling

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Speaker 1: her that she is not allowed onto our property. Any

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Speaker 1: communication about neighborhood issues should be directed to my solicitor

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Speaker 1: on a car attached to a letter. Since then, Martin

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Speaker 1: has diligently checked the security footage and reported every instance

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Speaker 1: of trespass on the police non emergency line. Wow, I

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Speaker 1: mean you gotta fight fire with fire at some point, right, like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: good gravy.

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Speaker 2: But don't they have her like doing that? It wouldn't

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Speaker 2: it like, don't they have her on camera? Isn't it

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Speaker 2: easy to get it in tuble they do?

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Speaker 1: I wonder what I mean? You could probably like press charges. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: probably you should be able to have charges security and

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Speaker 1: they have a lot of it. A few days later

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Speaker 1: we had a visit from the police. The bucket woman

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Speaker 1: rang nine one one and said I had a dangerous

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Speaker 1: dog which attacked her. She claimed she was injured and

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Speaker 1: getting away from the dog attack. The police came and

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Speaker 1: checked her house and yard and didn't find a dangerous dog.

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Speaker 1: They did find two house cats, a rabbit, and the

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Speaker 1: disemboweled corpse of a catinet mouse. What oh, I guess

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Speaker 1: that was It's like a toy that the cat's ripped up. Okay,

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Speaker 1: my goodness, the way I hope you describe that. My god,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, that's intense. This was not taken in for

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Speaker 1: forensic evidence. Martin pulled the security footage. I've been asked

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Speaker 1: not to describe it in detail, but I can't decide

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Speaker 1: what was funnier the footage itself or the site of

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Speaker 1: the police officer trying to keep a straight face. Also,

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Speaker 1: if you do plan on trespassing in your neighbor's property

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Speaker 1: and you startle easily, say an angry indoor cat, it's

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Speaker 1: always quicker to run through an open gate than a

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Speaker 1: closed one. Okay, I think I'm picking up what ope

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Speaker 1: he's putting down. Now to the petty revenge components, I

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Speaker 1: remain a free woman. Little cat is not declared a

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Speaker 1: dangerous dog and gets her favorite tuna, treats lots of

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Speaker 1: head pats, and a new cat and at mouse. Martin

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Speaker 1: gleefully adds another report of trespass on bucket woman, and

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Speaker 1: she looks like an idiot. Our next step was to

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Speaker 1: replace the old gate with something more secure. That led

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Speaker 1: to more escalation from her side and more petty revenge

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Speaker 1: on ours, but cutting off her access to the backyard

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Speaker 1: still hasn't stops bucket woman. Police reports, more blockades. Nothing

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Speaker 1: can stop bucket woman. We still find her in the

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Speaker 1: front yard looking through our windows, including our mine, Martin's

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Speaker 1: bedroom window, like with a telescope or something. She's got

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Speaker 1: bucket binoculars, but not just shape like buckets. I see them.

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Speaker 1: Martin has taken to spite cleaning the garage. Every time

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Speaker 1: he sees her tracks the fence posts lying along the

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Speaker 1: shared fence have turned into our trash pile. Every time

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Speaker 1: he catches her trespassing, he adds a bit more junk

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Speaker 1: to the pile. It's probably driving her crazy, but there's

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Speaker 1: nothing she can do. Mm sh.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad that bucket Lady is a little bit

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Speaker 2: at bay, but she seems to be. She seems to

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Speaker 2: be causing trouble stuff.

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Speaker 1: She's she's still at foot.

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Speaker 2: She's her bucket land shaved bucket lady man, big bucket lady,

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Speaker 2: bucket energy.

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Speaker 1: But speaking of big buckets.

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Speaker 2: I got a big bucket of a story for you,

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Speaker 2: Johnny boy.

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Speaker 1: I'm excited. Let's do it.