WEBVTT - Second Cup: Skip the optional arguments

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is to skip the optional arguments. There are times

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<v Speaker 1>when the stakes of a decision are high and the

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<v Speaker 1>ethics or consequences require you to engage, But often you

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<v Speaker 1>don't have to argue with people, and you will likely

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<v Speaker 1>be happier if you skip the optional arguments. Today's tip

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<v Speaker 1>is inspired by Elizabeth Pasarella's new collection of personal essays.

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<v Speaker 1>It was an ugly couch anyway. As she puts it,

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<v Speaker 1>what happens as you get older is that you have

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<v Speaker 1>to slog through so many mandatory arguments and difficult relationships

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<v Speaker 1>that you stop choosing optional ones. This is something I

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<v Speaker 1>am trying to keep in mind on the argument front.

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<v Speaker 1>With five kids, there are definitely arguments I have to

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<v Speaker 1>engage in when it comes to keeping them safe and healthy.

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<v Speaker 1>The toddler really does need to be strapped into his

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<v Speaker 1>car seat, the teens do need to surrender their phones

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<v Speaker 1>at night so they can get enough sleep before school

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<v Speaker 1>the next day. But there are also a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>arguments that I can skip. The eight year old can

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<v Speaker 1>wear sweatpants to church if he wants. I am pretty

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<v Speaker 1>sure God doesn't care, and at this point in life

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<v Speaker 1>I should be secure enough if any one else wants

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<v Speaker 1>to judge. I value accuracy. And I also have a

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<v Speaker 1>three year old who spouts all sorts of fanciful ideas.

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<v Speaker 1>So if he yells I am not going to school tomorrow,

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<v Speaker 1>and he very much is and absolutely loves preschool so

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<v Speaker 1>much that he doesn't want to leave once he's there,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't bother pointing this out. I just say, ooh,

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<v Speaker 1>that's an interesting idea, and then we move on. I

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<v Speaker 1>try to pick my battles with older kids too. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>it would be good if all the dishware were to

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<v Speaker 1>be returned in a timely manner to the kitchen. On

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<v Speaker 1>the other hand, it's not really that big a deal.

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<v Speaker 1>As a friend was talking to me about raising her

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<v Speaker 1>young people, she noted that if her kids were failing school,

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<v Speaker 1>or were in legal trouble, or were addicted to something,

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<v Speaker 1>the dishes would be the last thing she was worrying about.

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<v Speaker 1>We are blessed if our kids are doing fine. The

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<v Speaker 1>dishes will make it to the dishwasher eventually, so that's okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I also believe we can skip the optional arguments with

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<v Speaker 1>the adults in our lives as well. If your great

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<v Speaker 1>aunt has different political preferences than you, you can maybe

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<v Speaker 1>state your case once and then just talk about other

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<v Speaker 1>things when you see her. You don't need to correct

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<v Speaker 1>someone who pronounces a word wrong unless the person is

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<v Speaker 1>practicing a speech and actually wants that kind of feedback.

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<v Speaker 1>If you are pretty sure the tailor told you your

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<v Speaker 1>pants would be ready on a different day, but it

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<v Speaker 1>is not an inconvenience, you can just run with it now.

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<v Speaker 1>Of course, if something is immoral or illegal, or dangerous

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<v Speaker 1>or truly important to you, then by all means take

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<v Speaker 1>the battle. There are many hard things we have to

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<v Speaker 1>do in life. Arguing with a three year old about

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<v Speaker 1>whether it is going to snow tomorrow or not isn't

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<v Speaker 1>one of them. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks

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<v Speaker 1>for listening, and here's to making the moose of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod

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<v Speaker 1>that's b E the number four then Breakfast Pod. You

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<v Speaker 1>can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcasts

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<v Speaker 1>at iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled out

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<v Speaker 1>with all the letters, thanks so much, should I look

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<v Speaker 1>forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production

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<v Speaker 1>of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

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<v Speaker 1>Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.