Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
Speaker 1: This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is to skip the optional arguments. There are times
Speaker 1: when the stakes of a decision are high and the
Speaker 1: ethics or consequences require you to engage, But often you
Speaker 1: don't have to argue with people, and you will likely
Speaker 1: be happier if you skip the optional arguments. Today's tip
Speaker 1: is inspired by Elizabeth Pasarella's new collection of personal essays.
Speaker 1: It was an ugly couch anyway. As she puts it,
Speaker 1: what happens as you get older is that you have
Speaker 1: to slog through so many mandatory arguments and difficult relationships
Speaker 1: that you stop choosing optional ones. This is something I
Speaker 1: am trying to keep in mind on the argument front.
Speaker 1: With five kids, there are definitely arguments I have to
Speaker 1: engage in when it comes to keeping them safe and healthy.
Speaker 1: The toddler really does need to be strapped into his
Speaker 1: car seat, the teens do need to surrender their phones
Speaker 1: at night so they can get enough sleep before school
Speaker 1: the next day. But there are also a lot of
Speaker 1: arguments that I can skip. The eight year old can
Speaker 1: wear sweatpants to church if he wants. I am pretty
Speaker 1: sure God doesn't care, and at this point in life
Speaker 1: I should be secure enough if any one else wants
Speaker 1: to judge. I value accuracy. And I also have a
Speaker 1: three year old who spouts all sorts of fanciful ideas.
Speaker 1: So if he yells I am not going to school tomorrow,
Speaker 1: and he very much is and absolutely loves preschool so
Speaker 1: much that he doesn't want to leave once he's there,
Speaker 1: I don't bother pointing this out. I just say, ooh,
Speaker 1: that's an interesting idea, and then we move on. I
Speaker 1: try to pick my battles with older kids too. Yes,
Speaker 1: it would be good if all the dishware were to
Speaker 1: be returned in a timely manner to the kitchen. On
Speaker 1: the other hand, it's not really that big a deal.
Speaker 1: As a friend was talking to me about raising her
Speaker 1: young people, she noted that if her kids were failing school,
Speaker 1: or were in legal trouble, or were addicted to something,
Speaker 1: the dishes would be the last thing she was worrying about.
Speaker 1: We are blessed if our kids are doing fine. The
Speaker 1: dishes will make it to the dishwasher eventually, so that's okay.
Speaker 1: I also believe we can skip the optional arguments with
Speaker 1: the adults in our lives as well. If your great
Speaker 1: aunt has different political preferences than you, you can maybe
Speaker 1: state your case once and then just talk about other
Speaker 1: things when you see her. You don't need to correct
Speaker 1: someone who pronounces a word wrong unless the person is
Speaker 1: practicing a speech and actually wants that kind of feedback.
Speaker 1: If you are pretty sure the tailor told you your
Speaker 1: pants would be ready on a different day, but it
Speaker 1: is not an inconvenience, you can just run with it now.
Speaker 1: Of course, if something is immoral or illegal, or dangerous
Speaker 1: or truly important to you, then by all means take
Speaker 1: the battle. There are many hard things we have to
Speaker 1: do in life. Arguing with a three year old about
Speaker 1: whether it is going to snow tomorrow or not isn't
Speaker 1: one of them. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks
Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the moose of our time. Hey, everybody,
Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod
Speaker 1: that's b E the number four then Breakfast Pod. You
Speaker 1: can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcasts
Speaker 1: at iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled out
Speaker 1: with all the letters, thanks so much, should I look
Speaker 1: forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production
Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.