1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning. 2 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: This is Laura, Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:23,560 Speaker 1: tip is to skip the optional arguments. There are times 4 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: when the stakes of a decision are high and the 5 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: ethics or consequences require you to engage, But often you 6 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,840 Speaker 1: don't have to argue with people, and you will likely 7 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: be happier if you skip the optional arguments. Today's tip 8 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 1: is inspired by Elizabeth Pasarella's new collection of personal essays. 9 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:52,199 Speaker 1: It was an ugly couch anyway. As she puts it, 10 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: what happens as you get older is that you have 11 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 1: to slog through so many mandatory arguments and difficult relationships 12 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: that you stop choosing optional ones. This is something I 13 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: am trying to keep in mind on the argument front. 14 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 1: With five kids, there are definitely arguments I have to 15 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:16,480 Speaker 1: engage in when it comes to keeping them safe and healthy. 16 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,959 Speaker 1: The toddler really does need to be strapped into his 17 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: car seat, the teens do need to surrender their phones 18 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,119 Speaker 1: at night so they can get enough sleep before school 19 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: the next day. But there are also a lot of 20 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: arguments that I can skip. The eight year old can 21 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,319 Speaker 1: wear sweatpants to church if he wants. I am pretty 22 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: sure God doesn't care, and at this point in life 23 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,680 Speaker 1: I should be secure enough if any one else wants 24 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: to judge. I value accuracy. And I also have a 25 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: three year old who spouts all sorts of fanciful ideas. 26 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: So if he yells I am not going to school tomorrow, 27 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,920 Speaker 1: and he very much is and absolutely loves preschool so 28 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: much that he doesn't want to leave once he's there, 29 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: I don't bother pointing this out. I just say, ooh, 30 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: that's an interesting idea, and then we move on. I 31 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 1: try to pick my battles with older kids too. Yes, 32 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,360 Speaker 1: it would be good if all the dishware were to 33 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: be returned in a timely manner to the kitchen. On 34 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,799 Speaker 1: the other hand, it's not really that big a deal. 35 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: As a friend was talking to me about raising her 36 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:34,080 Speaker 1: young people, she noted that if her kids were failing school, 37 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:37,799 Speaker 1: or were in legal trouble, or were addicted to something, 38 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: the dishes would be the last thing she was worrying about. 39 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 1: We are blessed if our kids are doing fine. The 40 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 1: dishes will make it to the dishwasher eventually, so that's okay. 41 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,560 Speaker 1: I also believe we can skip the optional arguments with 42 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: the adults in our lives as well. If your great 43 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:04,280 Speaker 1: aunt has different political preferences than you, you can maybe 44 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: state your case once and then just talk about other 45 00:03:07,800 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 1: things when you see her. You don't need to correct 46 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: someone who pronounces a word wrong unless the person is 47 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 1: practicing a speech and actually wants that kind of feedback. 48 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 1: If you are pretty sure the tailor told you your 49 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: pants would be ready on a different day, but it 50 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:32,079 Speaker 1: is not an inconvenience, you can just run with it now. 51 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: Of course, if something is immoral or illegal, or dangerous 52 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:41,440 Speaker 1: or truly important to you, then by all means take 53 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: the battle. There are many hard things we have to 54 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: do in life. Arguing with a three year old about 55 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: whether it is going to snow tomorrow or not isn't 56 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: one of them. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks 57 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 1: for listening, and here's to making the moose of our time. Hey, everybody, 58 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 59 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:17,279 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 60 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:21,719 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod 61 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 1: that's b E the number four then Breakfast Pod. You 62 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcasts 63 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,560 Speaker 1: at iHeartMedia dot com that before Breakfast is spelled out 64 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,040 Speaker 1: with all the letters, thanks so much, should I look 65 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production 66 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 67 00:04:51,120 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.