Speaker 1: The bulls.
Speaker 2: Yo, what's your boy?
Speaker 3: Comp nasty alongside his co host Taylor Lewan. Obviously you're
Speaker 3: listening to an intro right now, so you know the boy's.
Speaker 2: Not here next to me. I'm out here and be beautiful.
Speaker 3: Aulume to California after another big win against the Cincinnati
Speaker 3: Bengals Raiders. The boys man six and four right now,
Speaker 3: sitting pretty h Gotta keep it going, Gotta keep the
Speaker 3: momentum rolling, Gotta keep that big dick energy out here
Speaker 3: in the black hole, dude, speaking of the black hole,
Speaker 3: You guys, it's a fuck. It's a fucking blast playing
Speaker 3: in front of the black hole. It's like all it's
Speaker 3: like a Halloween party every weekend, and I love it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, man, shoot, the boy's been three and oh
Speaker 3: since being out of here, so I'm having a great time.
Speaker 3: It's always fun when you're winning, obviously, Uh, but it's
Speaker 3: been a blast.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 3: These boys are rolling, and I had no clue how
Speaker 3: young our team was. We have like, uh shit, who knows,
Speaker 3: like ten starters that are like rookies, and uh had.
Speaker 2: Some to them.
Speaker 3: Man, this is the time that this is the time
Speaker 3: of the year where they talk about the whole rookie
Speaker 3: Wall and these dudes, man just have their middle finger
Speaker 3: up to this fucking rookie.
Speaker 2: Wall and I love it. Man.
Speaker 3: We're uh, they're leading the charge out here, and you know,
Speaker 3: obviously hats off to them. But yeah, I had no clue. Man,
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm like tired. For second oldest on the team,
Speaker 3: he got Richie and Cognito, who's thirty six. Benjamin Button
Speaker 3: still doing it out there, clanging and banging for the Boys,
Speaker 3: playing at a high level. Uh, he's thirty six. And
Speaker 3: then after that there's a few of us at thirty
Speaker 3: years old. Man, we got a we got a young
Speaker 3: squad man, and it's awesome to see. There's a lot
Speaker 3: of good energy right now. So you know, we have
Speaker 3: to keep that going. You know, it's heading to this
Speaker 3: back half of November, going into December back you know,
Speaker 3: now in football matters most.
Speaker 2: But yeah, shout out.
Speaker 3: The Boys, man, and shout out Joseph Martinez. No, he's
Speaker 3: not a player. He's our first winner of the ticket
Speaker 3: giveaway for busting with the Boys. Joseph Martinez brought his
Speaker 3: awesome father. They had a great Father's Day yesterday. They
Speaker 3: flew in from San Antonio, Texas. His dad had to
Speaker 3: take a red eye because he drove five hours to
Speaker 3: get to the San Antonio Airport. Very last minute, drop
Speaker 3: of the hat, freaking we shot them out as the
Speaker 3: Winter as Joseph Martinez as the winner. He couldn't believe
Speaker 3: it by plane tickets last minute, had no idea they
Speaker 3: weren't in California. I figured they were already around here.
Speaker 3: But they're so committed in for the fucking boys and
Speaker 3: Raider Nation and obviously busting with the boys that they
Speaker 3: bought last minute plane tickets. Drove His dad drove five
Speaker 3: hours to get the San Antonio Airport. They fly all
Speaker 3: day yesterday Earth, they fly all day the day before
Speaker 3: the game on Saturday to make it to watch the
Speaker 3: game together on Sunday.
Speaker 2: Awesome.
Speaker 3: People got to meet him in the parking lot after
Speaker 3: the game. Hope you guys had a hell of a time.
Speaker 3: It's awesome taking pictures of meeting you guys and talking
Speaker 3: with you and Alic fucking.
Speaker 2: That's awesome, man, that's cool to see. It's awesome that
Speaker 2: you took your dad.
Speaker 3: He wanted to take his dad because his dad taught
Speaker 3: him how to be a Raider fan growing up back
Speaker 3: in the day, so he wanted to treat his dad
Speaker 3: to one of the last home games in the black Hole.
Speaker 3: So shout out to him. Man, Yeah, before we get
Speaker 3: into much more huge special, shout out Hunter Briley and
Speaker 3: the Regal Realty Group. They're out based out of Nashville.
Speaker 3: The MVP of the podcast, MVP The Little He's a
Speaker 3: secret wheelingd dealer out there in Nashville. Man, anything residential
Speaker 3: commercial investment opportunity. Hit up Hunter Briley. He will have
Speaker 3: you taken care of. Tell him the boys sent you
Speaker 3: his personal six one five six three zero ninety seven
Speaker 3: three five. Their website is Regal rg dot com. But
Speaker 3: shout out Hunter Brierley and the Regal Realty Group for
Speaker 3: you know, providing the boys with He hooked it up.
Speaker 3: The bus is getting fixed right now, finding a home
Speaker 3: for the bus. The tailgates. If you see a Hunter,
Speaker 3: give him a big thank you in a big up
Speaker 3: for us. Speaking of tailgates, I assume there's gonna be
Speaker 3: another one this weekend. Keep up to date with us
Speaker 3: at Busting WTB and again free free drank, free food.
Speaker 3: With that drank, shout out Anheuser, Busch and Ajax Turner,
Speaker 3: the local distributor for Anheuser Busch, providing the boys with
Speaker 3: everything under that beautiful Anheuser Bush Umbrella, Budweiser, bud Light,
Speaker 3: natural Light, but most importantly those natural light Seltzers, those
Speaker 3: Catalina line mixers and the low Hot Beaches six percent alcohol.
Speaker 3: Get where you're going faster, drink responsibly, be smart, and
Speaker 3: always do with that.
Speaker 2: Don't give attitude? What I mean by that, don't give attitude?
Speaker 3: Dude? People are gonna judge you because you drink Seltzer's,
Speaker 3: But who gives this shit?
Speaker 2: Dude? We absolutely don't give a.
Speaker 3: Take pictures with your don't give a mentality, hashtag don't
Speaker 3: give a and tag us so we can share on
Speaker 3: our stories on Twitter on our YouTube channel like we've
Speaker 3: been doing every week for our fans, so we can
Speaker 3: have a great time engaging with you guys. Also, this
Speaker 3: weekend is the Jaguars play at Tennessee. The reason that
Speaker 3: is of importance is because the Neely family is going
Speaker 3: to get honored as the twelfth Man. And if you're
Speaker 3: new with us, Matt Neely was somebody who's a very
Speaker 3: important part of this podcast.
Speaker 2: He was one of the boys.
Speaker 3: He was one of the few that was that's been
Speaker 3: with us the entire time, and Matt was our first hire.
Speaker 3: Matt passed away a little over a month ago, and
Speaker 3: you know, very it was a very tough time for
Speaker 3: Bustle of the Boys. Obviously his family and friends. He
Speaker 3: was known as the Titans, the greatest Titans fan around.
Speaker 3: And obviously you can see that because the Titans are
Speaker 3: now honoring him and his family by allowing them to
Speaker 3: be the twelfth Man of the Game.
Speaker 2: So if you're around Nashville, I encourage you to get
Speaker 2: to the game.
Speaker 3: Wear you're Matt Neely for the Boys shirts, show your support.
Speaker 2: Man. I wish I could be there, I really do.
Speaker 2: But Matt would love it.
Speaker 3: You know, he's looking down and he's for the Boys
Speaker 3: always in forever man, And we miss you, Maddie. But please,
Speaker 3: you know, if you're around Nashville, get to that game,
Speaker 3: all right. Onto this week's episode, we sat down with
Speaker 3: Jim Henzel. He's a mental performance coach. He is the
Speaker 3: mental coach for Michael Chandler, the Unreal MMA Fighter. He's
Speaker 3: the mental coach for Rich froning Uh, the greatest crossfitter
Speaker 3: of all time, and plenty of guys out there on
Speaker 3: that CrossFit ranch that frowning has out there.
Speaker 2: But uh, it was very insightful podcast.
Speaker 3: I think you guys are really gonna get a lot
Speaker 3: out of it. It was just me that sat down
Speaker 3: with him, myself and Michael Chandler. There was no Taylor
Speaker 3: on this episode. Really good stuff though, similar to that
Speaker 3: Ben Newman podcast, you know, we could we like to
Speaker 3: switch it up. We like to have some fun, We
Speaker 3: like to talk sports on some we like to do
Speaker 3: just me and Taylor, and this one we get a
Speaker 3: little deeper. We peel some layers back and have a
Speaker 3: great podcast with Jim Hensel. I think you're really gonna
Speaker 3: love it. But again, guys, if you're near the podcast,
Speaker 3: you can find us on all podcast platforms Busting with
Speaker 3: the Boys.
Speaker 2: You can find us on YouTube Busting with the Boys.
Speaker 3: Subscribe, rate five stars, leave reviews, lead fun reviews.
Speaker 2: Man, we were, we appreciate it.
Speaker 3: We're We're not shit without you guys, and uh, you
Speaker 3: guys have allowed us to kind of make this thing
Speaker 3: a little more successful. But hey, we love it. Were
Speaker 3: for the boys or for the boys. Keep doing God's
Speaker 3: work and being for the fucking boys again. Shot us
Speaker 3: out and have a hell of a week man, enjoy
Speaker 3: this episode and as always, go be a fucking wolf.
Speaker 2: We solid. So you asked me if I was a
Speaker 2: whiskey guy. Yeah, you a whiskey guy, I am. What
Speaker 2: do you like?
Speaker 3: Are you a bourbon American whiskey Scotch rye?
Speaker 2: So, so here's the here's the trouble. So my father
Speaker 2: in law. I love my father in law. One of
Speaker 2: the smartest guys I've ever met. He's been was athletic
Speaker 2: director at Tennessee Tech for a ten of years. And
Speaker 2: he's been working there for like forty six years, okay,
Speaker 2: And and he he drinks KG Kentucky gentlemen, just bottom
Speaker 2: shelf stuff. And I'm like, you know, and Papa Dave's
Speaker 2: he's like got some money now, he's worked hard. He
Speaker 2: can do what he wants to do. And and he said, so,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give you two pieces of advice. The first
Speaker 2: one is, don't get used to the expensive stuff. You
Speaker 2: know that's the top shelves. Be careful, yeah, because they're
Speaker 2: gonna spend a bunch of money there every time. And
Speaker 2: I said, what's the second thing, Papa Dave? And he said,
Speaker 2: never drink more whiskey than you can wake up from.
Speaker 1: That's good.
Speaker 2: That's those are the two things. So my problem is,
Speaker 2: I like expensive whiskey. I don't like cheap whiskey.
Speaker 3: What expensive whiskey do you go with? I like I'm learning,
Speaker 3: I'm still learning.
Speaker 2: Go ahead. I like Woodfords, you know.
Speaker 4: Basil Hayden's Basil had it greatest, not had it?
Speaker 2: Yeah? So yeah, I like, you know, some some good
Speaker 2: whiskey on the rocks, nice and mellow.
Speaker 3: I'm a rye guy, right, I like the rye dude.
Speaker 3: Have you guys been a whiskey kitchen?
Speaker 2: No? Yes, down and it's by saying.
Speaker 1: In Najo's and m Street restat Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But they have like a plethora, solid word comp pilethora
Speaker 3: of whiskey, right, and there's you can get flights and
Speaker 3: everything like that. And I sat down and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: this is the day where I'm gonna figure out which
Speaker 3: kind of whiskey I like, because everybody like seems to
Speaker 3: know what their whiskey is. So I'm like, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: figure it out right here, right now. And it was
Speaker 3: rye dude, it was a right whiskey. I felt like
Speaker 3: it went down the smoothest Woodford Reserve. Rye has been
Speaker 3: my go to because people have gotten it for me
Speaker 3: for like my birthday events or something like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it was solid. So that's how I figured
Speaker 2: out that like Rye the most. So so let's started
Speaker 2: talking about wisdom here. Let's whiskey to wisdom. Let's go
Speaker 2: like that. No, but let's let's let's talk whiskey wisdom.
Speaker 2: Have you broken the two rules? Oh? God, you know,
Speaker 2: because I for sure have.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I mean I like that we all
Speaker 1: woke up.
Speaker 2: I like the high brow stuff, and I barely woke up.
Speaker 4: Broke we broke all the sorry sorry Papa day dang it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, sometimes I like, I like to consume a
Speaker 3: little too much, so that way it's that much more.
Speaker 2: Challenging the next day. Dude, are you hearing this? You
Speaker 2: guys hearing this train out here?
Speaker 4: All?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Actually I thought somebody actually just derailed itself and got
Speaker 4: back on the track somehow.
Speaker 3: If you're not accustomed to Bust with the boys, Literally,
Speaker 3: every time we have an episode, there's always a train
Speaker 3: going by, always a train, So you gotta shout out
Speaker 3: the trains that go by.
Speaker 2: Shout out the trains that go by a busting with
Speaker 2: the boys. But but dude, Jim, I don't know.
Speaker 3: You said you've watched a couple of our episodes. Are
Speaker 3: been aware of a couple of our things?
Speaker 2: You like to mix it up. We like to have fun, yeah,
Speaker 2: to raise a little hell, we like to get serious.
Speaker 2: And we did one with Mike. A couple with Mike
Speaker 2: over here, he was on the Brenton Show.
Speaker 3: One he's on this, one, the boys on this one
Speaker 3: shot at the boy, and one on his own that's
Speaker 3: gonna be that's probably out.
Speaker 2: Who knows.
Speaker 3: We we we backlogger episodes and kind of drop them.
Speaker 3: So we have a good mixture of enter you know, fun, entertaining, YadA, YadA, YadA,
Speaker 3: and then serious.
Speaker 2: Sure. And then Mike over here is like, Hey, I
Speaker 2: really want to get.
Speaker 3: My mental performance coach on sure, and I'm all about
Speaker 3: that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: Sure, So I was. I was looking at your stuff.
Speaker 3: You work with Rich Frohning, you work with Mike Chandler
Speaker 3: over here, who else? Who else is in your client
Speaker 3: tele talk to me about who you work with, kind of.
Speaker 2: What you do as a little bit of background. Sure,
Speaker 2: everything that we'll talk about today was something that I
Speaker 2: created out of necessity. In my life goes all the
Speaker 2: way back to you know, I got how old are you?
Speaker 2: Thirty thirty? So I've got I've got a twenty seven
Speaker 2: year old daughter and a twenty five year old daughter,
Speaker 2: and it goes all the way back to the hardest
Speaker 2: time in my life, which is years ago, and my
Speaker 2: wife leaves and I'm face down depressed and I don't
Speaker 2: know what direction to go next in my life, and
Speaker 2: I'm klawn and I'm reaching for whatever is truth in
Speaker 2: my life. And what I realized in that tough time
Speaker 2: was that I didn't own any of that that was
Speaker 2: more my dad's or somebody else's stuff.
Speaker 3: So you're saying you were kind of finger pointing or
Speaker 3: not fingerpoint but you're finding a reason why you are
Speaker 3: where you are, And how.
Speaker 2: Do I get up and move forward? Yeah? What's what
Speaker 2: is worth living for? You know? And I had these
Speaker 2: two little girls at that point three and five, and
Speaker 2: I knew I needed to be a good dad and
Speaker 2: I wanted to be a good father for them, and
Speaker 2: so I'm I'm struggling like crazy just to kind of
Speaker 2: know what to do next. And for sure, at that point,
Speaker 2: clinically depressed, like struggling to get up off the floor.
Speaker 2: There were two big things. My wife left me and
Speaker 2: I didn't become a professional football player, all things that
Speaker 2: I thought were going to happen in my life. And
Speaker 2: so I'm just reaching for identity and I'm reaching for
Speaker 2: purpose and value in my life. And and as I
Speaker 2: reached for that, and I tried to figure out that really,
Speaker 2: really I just had emotion and momentum and that's not sustainable.
Speaker 2: So literally, this is back in the vh VHS days.
Speaker 2: I'm fifty one years old, so I'm older, but you're
Speaker 2: fifty one fifty one, so boy looks solid. We're still
Speaker 2: hang out with which running and it'll work out. You'll
Speaker 2: be fine. So I literally put the girls to sleep
Speaker 2: one night, came up and popped in the movie Gladiator.
Speaker 2: And most guys have seen Gladiator. I just want to
Speaker 2: take my mind off my problems. And it happens to
Speaker 2: be at the scene in the movie where Maximus is
Speaker 2: squared off with comedists and he's fighting as this anonymous
Speaker 2: gladiator and he turns around to walk away from comtists
Speaker 2: and commonist says, hey, you know, gladiator, turn around, how
Speaker 2: do you turn your back on me, and he wants
Speaker 2: to know his name. Maximus turns around. You know what
Speaker 2: I'm talking about. The scene flips off his helmet. My
Speaker 2: name is Maximus Arelius, decimiss General the Felish Legions. And
Speaker 2: he goes to this process of defining himself. I'm sitting
Speaker 2: on a couch in my house, love on Colorado, depressed
Speaker 2: out of my brain, and I don't know where to
Speaker 2: go next. And I say to myself, I'm a writer,
Speaker 2: I'm a journalism guy. Well, this is a movie. I
Speaker 2: get it. But in his darkest hour, he just he
Speaker 2: just said this is who I am, this is what's
Speaker 2: purpose in my life, and this is what I'm going
Speaker 2: to do. And I thought, well, I'm going to do that.
Speaker 2: I don't know what else to do, but I'm going
Speaker 2: to do that. In that moment, in that moment when
Speaker 2: something started to click for you, that's the revelation to me.
Speaker 2: I don't own any of these beliefs. I don't really
Speaker 2: know who the hell I am. I'm stuck in a
Speaker 2: ton of emotion. What I'm twenty three, I'm twenty four,
Speaker 2: twenty four, twenty five? So when when? When did when
Speaker 2: did football end? For you football in my senior year
Speaker 2: in college? Where'd you go to college? I went to
Speaker 2: the University of Northern Colorado. The later half of my career.
Speaker 2: I started at Colorado, got suspended, kicked out of school,
Speaker 2: went to jail the end of more on, and then
Speaker 2: I transferred to the University of Northern Colorado, and then
Speaker 2: I played there.
Speaker 3: And you still thought you were going to continue to
Speaker 3: play ball after college.
Speaker 2: That was realistic. Either that or played baseball. That was
Speaker 2: an opportunity that I would have. And are you Are
Speaker 2: you married in college? Yeah? I'm married all the way
Speaker 2: through college, all the.
Speaker 3: Way through college. And then when you're done, you're when
Speaker 3: you're done at college. Are you're twenty two? Are you
Speaker 3: twenty now?
Speaker 2: I'm a little older. I'm twenty thirty. So you were
Speaker 2: twenty three when college ended.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then your wife left you as you were
Speaker 3: still in college or right.
Speaker 2: A year later, a year and a half later. So
Speaker 2: I'm twenty four, probably twenty five if I tracked it back.
Speaker 2: I'd been working for a couple of years, been out
Speaker 2: in the real world. I tore my knee right before
Speaker 2: halftime of my senior year, so I'm just backside I'm
Speaker 2: a cornerback. I'm just backside, you know, and that guy
Speaker 2: cuts me, and so all of that Hope's dreams, all
Speaker 2: of that just goes out the window, and.
Speaker 3: You're struggling in that year to kind of what you
Speaker 3: were saying, finding your identity. So you were struggling with
Speaker 3: that transition that first year out of college.
Speaker 2: What am I gonna do? Get a sales job? What
Speaker 2: am I gonna do? I've been thinking about being a
Speaker 2: professional football player since all I can remember. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: if I don't play football, I'm gonna play baseball. Right now,
Speaker 2: We're gonna go do something. And then just the real
Speaker 2: realization of knowing what and there were I wasn't mentally
Speaker 2: tough enough to be that guy looking back now through
Speaker 2: a lot of things that I wasn't good enough. I
Speaker 2: was athletically capable enough, but not in my mind. I
Speaker 2: wasn't and didn't really understand who I was and couldn't
Speaker 2: just be present in a lot of things that happened.
Speaker 2: So just all of that crashing down in that moment,
Speaker 2: and then this realization that I don't really know who
Speaker 2: I am and this idea of identity I've got to
Speaker 2: figure out what's real about who I am? Before I
Speaker 2: try to work at what to do. Let's not aim
Speaker 2: at what to do next. Let's just take a stop
Speaker 2: a moment and let's figure out, well, what is generally
Speaker 2: believe in? Yeah, regardless of whatddy, But anybody else on
Speaker 2: the planet thinks? What do I believe in? And what
Speaker 2: am I willing to get up and move forward based on?
Speaker 2: Does that make sense? Yeah? Oh yeah, I think.
Speaker 3: I think that's what happens with a lot of guys
Speaker 3: in sports. And I only say sports because I play.
Speaker 2: I play.
Speaker 3: I've played a sport my whole life. Yeah, work, first grade?
Speaker 2: Is how old? Like eight years old or six, seven,
Speaker 2: eight years old? Whatever?
Speaker 3: You grow all guessing here, but you play a sport
Speaker 3: from a very early age.
Speaker 2: So like for me, for instance.
Speaker 3: You start at seven eight years old and you train
Speaker 3: basically to I was an older guy too, till twenty three, right,
Speaker 3: twenty three minus eight?
Speaker 2: What is that fifteen years?
Speaker 3: You train fifteen years to go after one goal or
Speaker 3: one dream, right, being an NFL player, And when the
Speaker 3: reality sets in that the average career in the NFL
Speaker 3: is three years, you train fifteen years of your entire
Speaker 3: life for a career that lasts on average three years.
Speaker 3: I've been very fortunate to I'm in my seventh right
Speaker 3: now on kind of the quote unquote back end of
Speaker 3: my career, not knowing when it all land, and fortunately
Speaker 3: it's always kind of sunk in with me that I
Speaker 3: got to find a transition point, because when it's taken
Speaker 3: away from you, you do go through this transitional period
Speaker 3: of what in the you know, what do I do next?
Speaker 3: And if you don't pivot yeah and know and are
Speaker 3: strong and kind of your identity with something. That's where
Speaker 3: guys can slip into, like clinical depression or something that
Speaker 3: they don't know, like what am I going to be
Speaker 3: a sales guy? Because we think as athletes we're going
Speaker 3: to either pinnacle or oh what am I going to
Speaker 3: be a sales guy? There's nothing that you're You're all
Speaker 3: in on this one goal that you live. Knock on wood,
Speaker 3: hopefully we all live to like ninety, right, we haven't
Speaker 3: even lived one third of our life, and this goal
Speaker 3: we've trained for for fifteen years is going to be
Speaker 3: gone whenever we get out of college. And a lot
Speaker 3: of guys struggle when that happens, or in the NFL
Speaker 3: when a lot of guys. You see guys that go
Speaker 3: bankrupt within five years because they struggle figuring out their identity.
Speaker 3: And it's interesting to me that you were in that
Speaker 3: period for a year where you didn't make it.
Speaker 2: To the league.
Speaker 3: And I'm just assuming, like Jim and I just met
Speaker 3: like twenty minutes ago, just assuming that that stuff kind
Speaker 3: of played a role into.
Speaker 2: Your wife leaving the question question.
Speaker 3: And then you're sitting there in your darkest time and
Speaker 3: some damn movie sits and clicks with you at some point.
Speaker 3: I think that's like I always get very interested with guys, man,
Speaker 3: because the mentality is what matters in those periods of time,
Speaker 3: because yeah, I'm a football player now, but when that's done,
Speaker 3: am I capable?
Speaker 2: That's why guys have to dabble in what might.
Speaker 3: Interest him, because now they're going to slip into something
Speaker 3: that is not good.
Speaker 2: If you if at a certain point your athletic career
Speaker 2: will end, yeah, at a certain to be certain point,
Speaker 2: and it does for everybody, whether it's fifteen years or
Speaker 2: yeah or two you're going to retire either in high school.
Speaker 2: We know the tire in college, right, we know that
Speaker 2: that's happening. This is this is where I never I
Speaker 2: never taught Rich Phoning one thing about CrossFit. He was
Speaker 2: a he's a multiple games champion. Had that dialed in?
Speaker 2: Where where Rich had any time? Right? Yeah, total between
Speaker 2: the individual and team. I mean, when it comes to
Speaker 2: that world, that's the guy. What was valuable working through
Speaker 2: the Mayhem mindset process what we call the Mayhem mindset
Speaker 2: process now, was well, CrossFit is not his identity, it's
Speaker 2: what he does. And so I know that at a
Speaker 2: certain point that's going to end. So what am I
Speaker 2: aiming at after that? And I need to start to
Speaker 2: create that thought process and plan for that in the future.
Speaker 2: And if professional football is all you are, you're in
Speaker 2: trouble because it's going to come to an end at
Speaker 2: certain point. And so that that was the space that
Speaker 2: I found myself in. And then what I really realized
Speaker 2: was that I had to separate this idea of identity
Speaker 2: from what I do, and in the culture we live in,
Speaker 2: that gets really blurred. So I call it, you know
Speaker 2: I want to. I don't. I'm not a traditional mindset
Speaker 2: rah rah, motivational guy as not at all. What I
Speaker 2: do my responsible is to Really, because of what I
Speaker 2: went through, I created a process for somebody to sit
Speaker 2: down and really decide who they were and what they
Speaker 2: believed in.
Speaker 3: What made you start creating that process? And now I
Speaker 3: know the Gladdy that moment you decided, Okay, I got
Speaker 3: to get my shit together and I'm immediately taking accountability
Speaker 3: for literally everything that's happened in my life.
Speaker 2: How do you start to figure out a process? Right?
Speaker 3: And then from that process that we'll get into how
Speaker 3: you started to put together a formula to help other people.
Speaker 2: Here's what I heard Maximus say. He stated what his
Speaker 2: purpose was, so I heard it. He was clear about
Speaker 2: who he was and what his purpose was on the planet.
Speaker 2: Then he talked about what he believed in, which was
Speaker 2: values or beliefs or however you want to call it,
Speaker 2: first principles, and then he said, this is what I'm
Speaker 2: going to do. Yeah, so it's who I am, this
Speaker 2: is what I believe in, either in this life or
Speaker 2: the next life. I'm going to have my revenge. You know,
Speaker 2: That's kind of how he phrased it. So I said, okay,
Speaker 2: wait a second, let me figure out what purpose is.
Speaker 2: Let's let's let's create a list of authentic beliefs in
Speaker 2: my life that I really believe in that are mine.
Speaker 2: And then I'm gonna hold myself accountable by writing myself
Speaker 2: a mission statement, now what I call your I Am,
Speaker 2: which is a purpose statement, your I believe, which is
Speaker 2: this idea of whatever it is you believe in, and
Speaker 2: then and then what you're gonna do to hold yourself accountable?
Speaker 2: And so I went through six months worth of just
Speaker 2: beginning to write, all right, well, why in the hell
Speaker 2: am I on this planet? Because it sure isn't play football,
Speaker 2: because that ain't happen. So that's that's something that I
Speaker 2: that I thought I was going to do. But that's
Speaker 2: not the same as really what I believe in. I
Speaker 2: need to separate that out and it's not the same
Speaker 2: as what I feel. Whatever these things are that I'm
Speaker 2: supposed to believe in have to be big rocks. They
Speaker 2: have to be immovable in my life regardless of how
Speaker 2: I feel. There are things I'm supposed to anchor to. So,
Speaker 2: so if I believe in family, well what what is
Speaker 2: the real definition of that? You know? What do I?
Speaker 2: And so? And so I went through a process of
Speaker 2: really reaching out and defining this idea of values that
Speaker 2: represented my strengths, my weaknesses, and then my goals.
Speaker 3: If you don't mind sharing, could you give examples that
Speaker 3: you were writing in this initial period that you were
Speaker 3: going to kind of go after Yeah, I guess until
Speaker 3: you got to the point it's where it's like, hey,
Speaker 3: I found this system that you have an experience label
Speaker 3: with you now to kind of attract people to.
Speaker 2: Want to, you know, follow your stuff. Yeh. When I
Speaker 2: started out what is now kind of eleven challenges in
Speaker 2: a process. I don't tell anybody what to believe. That's
Speaker 2: not my job. You believe whatever it is you want
Speaker 2: to believe. But I but I am asking you to
Speaker 2: be able to defend it to yourself. If it's not
Speaker 2: in language, it's not a tool, right. Think about it.
Speaker 2: On the football field, you could say a bunch right,
Speaker 2: and you could call it coverage. And if you don't
Speaker 2: know what that is that language specifically, you can't do it.
Speaker 2: You can't crossfits the same way you know what an
Speaker 2: am rap is, You're in trouble. So if you don't
Speaker 2: have language for your beliefs and it's not something that
Speaker 2: you can really actively communicate, it's not really real. Man.
Speaker 2: Your choices and decisions are going to be based mostly
Speaker 2: on momentum or emotion. There's nothing wrong with momentum, and
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with emotion. That's a fire starter, but
Speaker 2: it's not sustainable fuel. We're gonna find ourselves in places
Speaker 2: where our emotions betray us absolutely, and that happens to everybody.
Speaker 2: So and that's the way we're designed by the way
Speaker 2: we feel first, that's the first part of our brain
Speaker 2: that kicks in, and then we think second. So understanding
Speaker 2: that acknowledging it. So I went through a process of
Speaker 2: separating my emotions from what I believed. And so now
Speaker 2: I call it your B capital b E, Values, Talents
Speaker 2: and Purpose. I want you to be able to have
Speaker 2: some sort of idea about what that means and then
Speaker 2: be able to say it so that it's authentic, don't
Speaker 2: bs me.
Speaker 3: And then I make yourself accountable by making the invisible
Speaker 3: like heard and divisible.
Speaker 2: I wrote a code for my life. Literally. I called
Speaker 2: it the Strengthen Honor Code, after what Maximus said. I
Speaker 2: had a tattoo artist draw me a cress. I tattooed
Speaker 2: it on my arm, and every decision was filtered from
Speaker 2: that point on through the Strengthen Honor Code. It was
Speaker 2: not for anybody, and I could quote it. My name is,
Speaker 2: this is who I am, This is what I believe,
Speaker 2: This is what I believe in fight, work, hope, faith, team, family, excellence, purpose, responsibility, love,
Speaker 2: and freedom, all clearly defined. I said it fast, and
Speaker 2: it doesn't mean anything to you, but it's very profound
Speaker 2: in my life. Yeah. And then an I will statement
Speaker 2: or a mission statement that represented me. And then it
Speaker 2: was boiled down to something on my arm so I
Speaker 2: could look down and say, Jim, is there any strength
Speaker 2: and honor in that? Meaning? What I believe is purpose,
Speaker 2: what I believe in my values, and what I'm said
Speaker 2: I'm going to do. That was very well thought out
Speaker 2: and in language, but it gave me a fighting chance
Speaker 2: now to move my life forward. Instead of momentum and emotion,
Speaker 2: I knew who the hell I was and I could
Speaker 2: apply it if I wanted to. So instead of being
Speaker 2: a guy who who was kind of foggy and wasn't
Speaker 2: real clear about what I believed, I was a dude
Speaker 2: who really knew and was accountable. So my challenge now
Speaker 2: was a little bit different than a lot of people's.
Speaker 2: It was would I and will I live the way
Speaker 2: I said I would believe instead of staying in the
Speaker 2: state of confusion, right, staying in that state of emotions.
Speaker 1: And that's what I realized too.
Speaker 4: I thought before we started working together, I thought I
Speaker 4: was a pretty defined guy.
Speaker 1: You know, I know what I believe in. I know
Speaker 1: what my values are.
Speaker 4: I know, and I thought, which most of us do
Speaker 4: as confident, you know, confident people who I try to
Speaker 4: do the right things. I think I know a lot
Speaker 4: about life than a lot of people do. Until I
Speaker 4: started going into this process and started to realize, just
Speaker 4: like I lift weights and I flex these muscles with
Speaker 4: every single rep, now I'm flexing my mental muscles and
Speaker 4: my identity. You know, because you know when you when
Speaker 4: you guys are talking about okay, ball is over, that's
Speaker 4: your darkest hour. That's when you realize, that's when you realize, okay,
Speaker 4: that's that this is the darkest hour.
Speaker 1: Who am I? Am I enough?
Speaker 4: Because that's what we always talked about the you know,
Speaker 4: the first time we sat down, we pretty much talked
Speaker 4: in essence, this process is your greatest moment of opportunity
Speaker 4: or your darkest hour?
Speaker 1: Am I enough? And for me as an athlete still.
Speaker 4: Continuing to compete, I am just as much focused on
Speaker 4: at my greatest moment of opportunity, because I I haven't
Speaker 4: had a lot of horrible things happen to me. I
Speaker 4: haven't been down. And we're not talking clinical depression in
Speaker 4: my case. We're talking, you know, I want to get better,
Speaker 4: and we're talking about winning multiple world titles. We're talking
Speaker 4: about going down as one of the greatest of all time.
Speaker 2: I want to.
Speaker 1: I want to be able to. I want to be
Speaker 1: able to pull. I want to be able to pull
Speaker 1: that out of me.
Speaker 4: And I realize after going through this process, the hurdles
Speaker 4: I've had to go through, this small mind, the small
Speaker 4: thinking that I've had to go through, the things that
Speaker 4: are that have been holding me back as well as
Speaker 4: the things that are to propel me forward. So at
Speaker 4: the greatest, your greatest moment of opportunity, you can say, yes,
Speaker 4: I am enough, Let's go get that, Let's go take that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys are talking about like being very clear
Speaker 3: in who you believe and how you're defining these characteristics
Speaker 3: of yourself. Now when you were doing this right, it
Speaker 3: sounds awesome. And I'm talking from a point of people
Speaker 3: listening right now that are like, Okay, it's going to
Speaker 3: be as simple as being very clear and writing shit down.
Speaker 2: Which you should. You should write shit down.
Speaker 3: You're when you make the invisible visible, it's a lot
Speaker 3: more powerful because you're putting it out in the universe.
Speaker 2: Creative power in writing.
Speaker 3: Right now, you're doing this from step one, the beginning.
Speaker 3: Right now, you're fifty one, you're proven, you've got these clients,
Speaker 3: but in the beginning, you're writing this shit out right
Speaker 3: Like me, I've said this before on another podcast, like Okay,
Speaker 3: you want to write I want to be I am
Speaker 3: a Pro Bowl linebacker? Or what does a pro linebacker
Speaker 3: do on a daily basis? And I'm writing pro linebacker?
Speaker 3: Or when I was undrafted it's like be a starter
Speaker 3: on the Washington Redskins. You're getting clear, but you have
Speaker 3: doubt at the same time.
Speaker 2: So here's the key. Here's the key in what we're
Speaker 2: doing here. And this is what happened to me, And
Speaker 2: this is very fundamental to this being something that matters
Speaker 2: and works. Right, I'm not talking about what you're going
Speaker 2: to do, the task or the emotion. I want to
Speaker 2: separate that out. Be a Pro Bowl linebacker is that
Speaker 2: goal that you're aiming at and it's valid. Prior to
Speaker 2: thinking about that, I really want to take you back
Speaker 2: to really understanding identity. What is it inside you that
Speaker 2: gives you the ability and or the right to be
Speaker 2: that pro bowl? Right? Gotcha? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? And I
Speaker 2: want to go all the way back to what's purpose
Speaker 2: in your life? And I want to I want to
Speaker 2: I want to define that in a word, got you?
Speaker 2: And then I want to talk about values. I want
Speaker 2: to I want to create a platform of strength to
Speaker 2: operate from, so that whatever it is you decide to do,
Speaker 2: you're bringing identity to it, right, not just the goal.
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with the goal. We got to have them, yes,
Speaker 2: and we got to put that in language that's really important.
Speaker 2: But so many people chase the do in our culture. Right,
Speaker 2: let me try this. All that didn't work? Well, let
Speaker 2: me try this, I didn't work. Let me try this,
Speaker 2: Well that didn't work. Hold on, right.
Speaker 3: I want you to explain the vulnerable, kind of scary
Speaker 3: side when you do write these big ass goals in mind. Right,
Speaker 3: and then it's like, okay, Jim, in the very beginning,
Speaker 3: Now you're writing this huge goal and you're trying to
Speaker 3: carry it out, and you still have some vulnerability thinking
Speaker 3: am I worth telling this to people?
Speaker 2: Did you?
Speaker 3: You presumably had some kind of doubt when you're writing
Speaker 3: this in real like I'm gonna be one of the
Speaker 3: best to do it, right, There's still something in you
Speaker 3: when you are writing the purpose and the characteristics and
Speaker 3: all this stuff that's like, why do you deserve that?
Speaker 3: You're still have a little anxiety to talk about it
Speaker 3: out loud because you know you're doing it because you
Speaker 3: need to, but telling it to other people and talking
Speaker 3: about it front other people do it in a way
Speaker 3: it is where it's like.
Speaker 2: Man, are they doubting me? You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Sure you have that stuff in the beginning.
Speaker 3: Now now it's like we're proven dudes, right right, and
Speaker 3: you can kind of talk about it easier. But in
Speaker 3: the beginning you're gonna have doubt in thinking what makes
Speaker 3: me deserve this?
Speaker 2: In mind? Right? So what Michael said, this whole the
Speaker 2: whole idea in my heart started from the question what
Speaker 2: I wanted to do is I wanted to strip myself
Speaker 2: all the way of everything. I wanted to put myself
Speaker 2: in Maximus's position. If you if you watch the movie right,
Speaker 2: everything had been taken to him. He was a general,
Speaker 2: had been taken from him, his wife was killed. He's
Speaker 2: in this spot where he's a slave, and the only
Speaker 2: reason why he's fighting is for what he believed in,
Speaker 2: not that it felt good, not that he was respected.
Speaker 2: He wasn't any of those things, right, It was just
Speaker 2: only about who he was as a man. One of
Speaker 2: the goat movies, right for sure. And so I wanted
Speaker 2: to put myself in that spot. And what I realized was, well,
Speaker 2: what was the what was the one question that kept
Speaker 2: coming from my heart? Well, the one question was am
Speaker 2: I enough? Am I just an f and loser? Now? Yeah,
Speaker 2: that happens. It happens for It's important for people to
Speaker 2: know that that happens. It happens to everybody, and and
Speaker 2: it happens all the time. That's to be human emotional.
Speaker 1: And if it hasn't happened, it is the inevitable if.
Speaker 4: You are not clearly defined as as because I was, so,
Speaker 4: we haven't really talked about fighting goals. We haven't talked
Speaker 4: about all big goals. Honestly, I just want to figure
Speaker 4: out who I am.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 4: I'm a kid from high Ridge, Missouri, you know, And
Speaker 4: and now I've gotten this this platform to be able
Speaker 4: to be who I am and i'm but I still
Speaker 4: am trying to figure it out preemptively as a precaution
Speaker 4: because when fighting ends, I want to mitigate the risk
Speaker 4: of that darkestyle. I want to mitigate the risk of
Speaker 4: if I lose my next three fights and I'm done,
Speaker 4: who am I? Where am I going?
Speaker 1: What am I doing?
Speaker 2: You're going to struggle for a minute, man, what you're
Speaker 2: doing should have zero bearing on identity, exactly right. It shouldn't.
Speaker 2: In your greatest moment of opportunity or in the darkest hour,
Speaker 2: You're still the same dude. You still believe the same things.
Speaker 2: Let me take everything away from you that you have.
Speaker 2: You know, and I don't know anything about you personally.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, let's take your money, let's take your wife,
Speaker 2: let's take your job, Let's put you in that spot.
Speaker 2: And then you then tell me, are the things that
Speaker 2: you believe in? Horseshit at that point? Or is it real? Right?
Speaker 2: Tell me what that is? And so here I am
Speaker 2: face down, depressed, and I'm like, man, if I'm going
Speaker 2: to get up and come forward, it's got to be
Speaker 2: real or what's at worth? And so the point of
Speaker 2: the process is to put you, at least mentally in
Speaker 2: a space where we separate the do. I don't care
Speaker 2: about your job. I don't care about your goals and ishit.
Speaker 2: I don't want to know about any of that. Really,
Speaker 2: what I want you to do is just tell me
Speaker 2: who you are and what you believe, and let's come
Speaker 2: up with that idea first. It's just like the fundament
Speaker 2: what position line linebackers read your keys, man, I need
Speaker 2: you to do is read your keys for your life. Right,
Speaker 2: That's what I want you to be able to do
Speaker 2: before the snap of the ball. How intelligent you are
Speaker 2: before the do Are you intelligent and well versed and
Speaker 2: have language for your life?
Speaker 3: And when you say have language you're talking about you're talking.
Speaker 3: This is where writing stuff down comes into play, because
Speaker 3: I truly like, I love this stuff and I want
Speaker 3: I want people to have takeaways. Right, everybody listening, like
Speaker 3: when he's explaining this stuff, try and think about.
Speaker 2: Some shit in your own life.
Speaker 3: And when he's talking about language and saying all these
Speaker 3: questions like maybe you're sitting in the car right now
Speaker 3: or listening to this pot or watching it at home.
Speaker 3: I don't know, but like, if you want to take
Speaker 3: this stuff away. I'm trying to ask all these questions
Speaker 3: so we can give.
Speaker 2: To you guys think about Let's think about your strongest beliefs.
Speaker 2: Let's just do it right here, right now, Michael Chandler,
Speaker 2: name three core values in your life.
Speaker 4: Core values, strongest beliefs, fight family, authenticity.
Speaker 2: Now, when I go into a classrooms at a university,
Speaker 2: or I'm I talked in front of three hundred doctors
Speaker 2: the other day, and I challenge them, name a core
Speaker 2: value in your life, because we don't have this conversation
Speaker 2: this way in our culture. Mostly we're talking about motivation
Speaker 2: and we're looking at guys to motivate us, which is cool,
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with it, but we can you waste
Speaker 2: motivation if you don't know who you are. Motivation is
Speaker 2: a fantastic tool if you can apply it to who
Speaker 2: you are as a human being. But so many people
Speaker 2: are chasing motivation. I want to know who he is.
Speaker 2: Quiet still, outside of all to do, I go into
Speaker 2: a classroom and I'll ask, you know, a somebody name
Speaker 2: a core value, and it gets super quiet. They don't
Speaker 2: really know what I'm talking about. So I gotta try
Speaker 2: to describe it a couple of different ways.
Speaker 3: Because people are probably processing, like shit, what for sure,
Speaker 3: I'm sitting here talking, I'm like, man, sure I got
Speaker 3: to be able to name three If you ask me
Speaker 3: here in a second, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And it's that you're trying to I mean.
Speaker 4: And we've we've worked so hard of the last couple
Speaker 4: weeks with these definitions, and I've changed the definitions fifteen
Speaker 4: different times and a lot of times. And that's why
Speaker 4: you talk about he went fight tape tape all of
Speaker 4: his things. His definition is different. My definition of fight
Speaker 4: is probably different than you think it is. My definition
Speaker 4: of authenticity is probably similar to what you think it
Speaker 4: might be. But the reasoning behind the definition all has
Speaker 4: to go back to my shortcomings mentally and emotionally, from
Speaker 4: the scars of my past, from the from the things
Speaker 4: that have held me back. Authenticity isn't just so I
Speaker 4: can put my best foot forward and be my best self.
Speaker 4: My being authentic in my mind is overcoming the mental
Speaker 4: hurdles of the small minded thinking of my past. Therefore,
Speaker 4: when I step into a room, I will have the
Speaker 4: courage and to be authentic, authentic in front of people.
Speaker 4: And it all comes back to the shortcomings that I've had.
Speaker 2: There's what I believe in our design. There's all kinds
Speaker 2: of things talent wise that are under design. And then
Speaker 2: there's nurture in nature, how you were raised, you know,
Speaker 2: and and and what all that means. So we all
Speaker 2: arrive at this space with different kinds of environments being
Speaker 2: put through different things, and so it's important to make
Speaker 2: sure that those words, whatever they are, whatever those belief
Speaker 2: systems are in your life, they're yours and you own them.
Speaker 2: These core values, right, whatever the core values are, okay,
Speaker 2: you know whatever that is you say, and I don't
Speaker 2: care what it is. They need to represent your strengths.
Speaker 2: They need to represent the emotional weaknesses in your life
Speaker 2: because we all got them. And then they need to
Speaker 2: represent goals or ideals in your life. So they're living
Speaker 2: and breathing and you can use them. So many times
Speaker 2: I go into a space where people they've never thought
Speaker 2: about it, so they don't know what they are, so
Speaker 2: it's not really a tool. Or I go into a
Speaker 2: environment where they got these mission statements on the walls
Speaker 2: and they got all these core values, but it's all
Speaker 2: horseshit and nobody really lives them. And especially in a
Speaker 2: lot of corporate environments. You can go into a locker
Speaker 2: room and there'll be some mission statement on the wall
Speaker 2: and nobody knows what it is or cares. It's not actual,
Speaker 2: real philosophy. What we're more concerned about is the process
Speaker 2: with the x's and o's, which is important. We need
Speaker 2: to be excellent at that, but we need to come
Speaker 2: from some sort of philosophical base if we're going to
Speaker 2: be one hundred percent of who we're creater to be want.
Speaker 2: If I want the most out of you as an athlete,
Speaker 2: I need to care about who you are at the
Speaker 2: heart level and as a man, and as your beliefs,
Speaker 2: and then I need that connected to process. And if
Speaker 2: I have that connected to process, then I got eleven
Speaker 2: dudes flying into the ball understanding who they are and
Speaker 2: what they believe. And then there's some sort of if
Speaker 2: you know who you are and he knows who he is,
Speaker 2: and everybody knows who they are, then we can find
Speaker 2: that space where our values overlap and that's where strength is.
Speaker 2: Or if a coach wants to wants to know whether
Speaker 2: he wants you around, that's a nice question to start
Speaker 2: with because there's a lot of x's and o's guys
Speaker 2: who are physically capable, but they don't belong in the culture,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, They're just not going to fit.
Speaker 2: I don't care how good you are, it doesn't really
Speaker 2: make You're not my guy. So understanding that about your life,
Speaker 2: not just football or what you're doing, is important. How
Speaker 2: you're going to respond to your girlfriend, how you can
Speaker 2: respond to.
Speaker 1: Your wife, that filter.
Speaker 4: Having a filter, you know, I think that's one of
Speaker 4: the biggest things too, Having a filter to live every
Speaker 4: single every single scenario that you come into, every single interaction,
Speaker 4: every single relationship, there's a there is a inherent filter
Speaker 4: that you now have through the practicing of being able
Speaker 4: to filter all of these every single scenario through these
Speaker 4: coret through your core value, your core.
Speaker 3: Values, because when these bad things happen, it's like what
Speaker 3: do they say, like or eving.
Speaker 1: Good things five seconds everything happens.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's like a there's like a moment your brain
Speaker 3: has that's going to make a decision. Yeah, And you're
Speaker 3: trying to create these things to where that's what you
Speaker 3: default to in these times of either success or I
Speaker 3: guess failure. So you write these core values and then
Speaker 3: what's next. So you you're with me and Mike and
Speaker 3: we're figuring out our core values. The next time we
Speaker 3: meet with you. What comes after these defined core values
Speaker 3: when we talk.
Speaker 2: About So the whole entire process is one most importantly
Speaker 2: to get you to write. Why write? It's not in language,
Speaker 2: it's not a tool. Love it. So I've got to
Speaker 2: get you to put who you are and what you
Speaker 2: believe on paper. If you're not disciplined enough to do
Speaker 2: some writing, it's not right for you. R I g HD.
Speaker 2: The process is not right for you. So we need
Speaker 2: to be able to do that. We want to talk
Speaker 2: about negative emotions, negative themes, negative stories, and so we
Speaker 2: don't start by writing about core values. That comes at
Speaker 2: the very end of the process. Okay, What I want
Speaker 2: to do is put you through challenges one week at
Speaker 2: a time that cause you to gain some new perspective
Speaker 2: about your life. That's the idea of the goal. No
Speaker 2: different than getting in the gym and working the different
Speaker 2: muscles and changing up how you're doing that to strengthen
Speaker 2: your body. So that's an example of something you put
Speaker 2: them through. Each Each one of the challenges requires you
Speaker 2: to be able to go out into your week and
Speaker 2: keep this idea front of mind, all right, So one
Speaker 2: of them I call the matrix, and I teach I
Speaker 2: teach something called the system, feel, filter, think, flow. It's
Speaker 2: pretty simple. It's how our bodies work. Olympic brain fires, filter.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've got one. That's this idea
Speaker 2: of building the system, core value system, then being able
Speaker 2: to think really clearly. Can I get you to be
Speaker 2: a critical thinker? Or are you just running all over
Speaker 2: the place. We all know that person, right, Every choice
Speaker 2: and decisions made based on emotion. So I want you
Speaker 2: to go out into your week and really recognize if
Speaker 2: you're making some choices and decisions based on values or
Speaker 2: if you're mostly over there in emotion. And each one
Speaker 2: of the challenges has a component like that. And the
Speaker 2: idea is after eleven weeks, and if I can get
Speaker 2: you a little bit off balance, and I can get
Speaker 2: you to write a little bit about who you are
Speaker 2: and what you believe, then we've got this thread that
Speaker 2: goes all the way through the challenges and some writing.
Speaker 2: Or we can go back into it and we can
Speaker 2: begin to discover what it is you really believe based
Speaker 2: on what you've written.
Speaker 3: So you're having Craig me if I'm wrong, You're having
Speaker 3: them write about these experiences that are happening, whether good
Speaker 3: or bad.
Speaker 2: You're there, you're just kind of jotting down your kind
Speaker 2: of journaling.
Speaker 4: Yeah, those and those and those first couple of weeks
Speaker 4: two were very eye opening, Like that was the first
Speaker 4: was the first week, Uh, the power of be the three,
Speaker 4: be in spite of what other people think, be in
Speaker 4: spite of emotion, and be present. That that first week
Speaker 4: for me, the amount of times I wrote down the
Speaker 4: how I was not present or how I knew the
Speaker 4: week before I was not being present compared to the
Speaker 4: next week with my son, with my wife, with conversations,
Speaker 4: being present here in this podcast, or even being being
Speaker 4: in spite of emotions or being in spite of what
Speaker 4: other people think. I caught myself almost taking taking more
Speaker 4: leaps of faith to do things outside of what I
Speaker 4: would have normally did because I wasn't worried about what
Speaker 4: people were thinking as much, or I wasn't worried about,
Speaker 4: you know, what people were thinking, what the negative emotions
Speaker 4: might have been, or how emotion was driving me rather
Speaker 4: than just being me.
Speaker 3: Because you're kind of like writing this accountability and you're like, yeah, shit,
Speaker 3: I'm not. It's like something as simple as like, okay,
Speaker 3: you think you're healthy, will for the next week literally
Speaker 3: write down everything you eat and this something simple and
Speaker 3: you I've done this before, and you realize like, shit,
Speaker 3: I'm not really sticking to the things I've talked about
Speaker 3: doing because you see all these small little slip ups
Speaker 3: along the way because you're journaling, and you're like shit.
Speaker 4: Like yeah, you can mark them up, yeah, and then
Speaker 4: you kind of give them back to them and you're
Speaker 4: kind of like wanting to erase something.
Speaker 2: So you know, if we said doesn't want to see it,
Speaker 2: if we sat down. This process is not for somebody.
Speaker 2: And I don't say this in any sort of way
Speaker 2: to be negative. I'm a I'm not a therapist. I'm
Speaker 2: not a licensed counselor, I'm not any of those kind
Speaker 2: of guys. Yeah, this and the process is not some
Speaker 2: for somebody who needs that. It needs to be somebody
Speaker 2: who has some awareness about who they are and really
Speaker 2: is trying to get next level self awareness to trying
Speaker 2: to stretch yourself a little bit and get detailed about
Speaker 2: your life. That's what's in Sharpen we want to sharpen things,
Speaker 2: and so the three b's, Like Michael just explained, well,
Speaker 2: if we sat down and we could in two hours,
Speaker 2: we could have created a list of really authentic values
Speaker 2: that really meant something to him. But if we don't
Speaker 2: create some tools and we don't look for the spaces
Speaker 2: to how to use them number one, and we don't
Speaker 2: look for the spaces where there are challenges or opportunities,
Speaker 2: then it's not worth anything in the end, and it
Speaker 2: ends up just being something you wrote on a wall.
Speaker 2: We end up in the space where lots of people
Speaker 2: are in the culture where they say this is what
Speaker 2: they believe, but it's not really practical. So we want
Speaker 2: to create mindset tools, actual tools, so that you can
Speaker 2: put who you are and what you believe in motion.
Speaker 2: Your value system should be a force multiplier in your life.
Speaker 2: It shouldn't. It shouldn't be a safety net.
Speaker 1: You should.
Speaker 2: I'm interested in dudes who can play offense. Not that
Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong defense, but you know what I mean
Speaker 2: to you, You know what I mean, And we want to
Speaker 2: be able to carry the weight for the people that
Speaker 2: we love. I want to stand in the gap for
Speaker 2: the people that I'm committed to being there for I
Speaker 2: want to make that sacrifice, but I also want to
Speaker 2: stay on track regarding my emotions and the things that
Speaker 2: I know that will easily distract me. If I don't
Speaker 2: have this, Jim Henzel's I'm gonna screw up. I guarantee you.
Speaker 3: And you said when you say spaces, you mean like
Speaker 3: these hurdles that come along throughout your week.
Speaker 2: Sure, Like, is that what you mean by spaces?
Speaker 3: If we don't find the spaces to implement these core
Speaker 3: values that we're going to defaul to, are those the things.
Speaker 2: You're talking about, We've got to make them working tools, Gotcha.
Speaker 2: It's got to be language, and it's got to be
Speaker 2: something that we know how to put into action. I'm
Speaker 2: just something we write on when those moments are happening. Yeah,
Speaker 2: let me let me give you an example. In the
Speaker 2: very beginning, after I went through all that that that
Speaker 2: emotion and struggle and my wife leaves, I made a commitment.
Speaker 2: Now listen, people, this is not about what you believe,
Speaker 2: or you believe or anybody else leaves. I'm talking about
Speaker 2: what I believe and how I applied it to my life, sure,
Speaker 2: and how I wanted to own it so people can
Speaker 2: judge me, however, and they judge me, and I don't care,
Speaker 2: don't care. I want that for you too. In my
Speaker 2: greatest moment of opportunity, darkest hour, I need to know
Speaker 2: who the hell I am, so in that space back
Speaker 2: in the day, I decided I wasn't gonna have sex
Speaker 2: with single moms based on my code. Whether you believe
Speaker 2: that or not, that's just why I decided I'm gonna
Speaker 2: be I'm single right now, and I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 2: come home and take care of these little girls because
Speaker 2: that's what I'm supposed to do, and I'm gonna have
Speaker 2: to get this right because my mindset is gonna get
Speaker 2: me into space where you know, I'm gonna be paying
Speaker 2: attention to chasing tail instead of coming home and taking
Speaker 2: care of these kids. That was really real for me
Speaker 2: in that space at that point in my life as
Speaker 2: a bachelor, you know, late twenties, early thirties, and so
Speaker 2: I decided, based on my code, that's not what I
Speaker 2: was gonna do. If it's a single mom and I
Speaker 2: could take advantage of that, I'm not gonna That's not
Speaker 2: what I'm going to do. And so that was a
Speaker 2: rule I set for myself based on my code so
Speaker 2: many many times during those years, and I got myself,
Speaker 2: and I won't tell the whole story, but I got
Speaker 2: myself in all kinds of spots where you know, like, man,
Speaker 2: you can't be here, bro, Like that's against the code.
Speaker 2: There is no strength and honor in what you're saying.
Speaker 2: You're not gonna take advantage of that right now. That's
Speaker 2: not somebody according to your code that you believed. I
Speaker 2: don't want that done to me as a single dad
Speaker 2: out there trying to take care of kids, fighting and
Speaker 2: battling for that, and that's not what I'm going to
Speaker 2: do as a man. That's just not a choice. Even
Speaker 2: though my emotions say let's get into this, my values
Speaker 2: say hey, no, no, no, let's not take advantage of
Speaker 2: that right now. And it kept me on a track,
Speaker 2: especially relationship wise, early in those days. That you know,
Speaker 2: allowed me to stay on course and make choices and
Speaker 2: decisions that were based on my values, not just my emotions.
Speaker 2: That's very a simple place that I used at early
Speaker 2: and now twenty years later, it's grown and developed and
Speaker 2: means other things. But that's where I started, and that's
Speaker 2: where I am. Now, that's how practical it was to
Speaker 2: me in that day. Is there any strengthened honor in
Speaker 2: that gym? Well, obviously my value system says no, but
Speaker 2: my emotions say, hell yeah, get into that. Well, what
Speaker 2: are you gonna do? You're gonna be the man who
Speaker 2: said you'd live by what you believed? Or are you're
Speaker 2: going to allow that motion and that momentum to put
Speaker 2: you in a space. At least what I had at
Speaker 2: that moment was a fighting chance because I had some
Speaker 2: language in my life. I wasn't gonna I wasn't going
Speaker 2: to get into it the next day and be like, man,
Speaker 2: I really wish I wouldn't have done that. And I
Speaker 2: found myself in positions where it really could have destroyed
Speaker 2: my life if I would allowed my emotions to run
Speaker 2: away in those moments. So we want to vulnerable like that? Well,
Speaker 2: I mean it's part of the story, right of the story. Strong,
Speaker 2: I'm in a space where I really don't I really
Speaker 2: don't care. I want and I want you to be
Speaker 2: in that space. I want you to care. I want
Speaker 2: it to be important to you, yes, but I also
Speaker 2: want you to be in a space where you know
Speaker 2: who you are regardless confident you are. Your choices and
Speaker 2: decisions are locked in to who you are and what
Speaker 2: you believe, and then the important people around you. Those
Speaker 2: values overlap and you can make choices and decisions together.
Speaker 2: My wife and I can come together and who she
Speaker 2: is and who she be in my game, values, talents,
Speaker 2: and purpose are a little bit different than mine, but
Speaker 2: our values overlap. And in that space, man, we do
Speaker 2: good work dirty, right.
Speaker 3: And those people who you don't necessarily align with, you're
Speaker 3: so confident in who you are. It's like you might
Speaker 3: explain it once, but you don't feel like you have
Speaker 3: to explain yourself.
Speaker 2: Like okay, man, Like no, and I'm not offended, right.
Speaker 2: Everybody gets to kind of believe who they are. That's
Speaker 2: the beautiful thing about who we are and where we're
Speaker 2: at as free individuals. Yeah, everybody gets to do that,
Speaker 2: and I want everybody to to be able to use
Speaker 2: that freedom.
Speaker 4: It's important the But I think the interesting thing to
Speaker 4: note here is that you want to You want everybody
Speaker 4: to express what they who they be and stand up
Speaker 4: for what they believe in.
Speaker 1: But so many people, especially stay and age.
Speaker 4: Are not at all clearly defined in what they truly believe,
Speaker 4: And that's why it is the age old quote of
Speaker 4: believe in something or your fault or anything, right, So
Speaker 4: you know exactly what you believe in, what your strength
Speaker 4: and honor code is, what exactly who you be, so
Speaker 4: that you can filter all of that in everything that
Speaker 4: you do. And I think that's where that's where the
Speaker 4: process has helped me so much. I mean, like I said,
Speaker 4: I felt like I was more defined than most. And
Speaker 4: that's why you said, it's not this is not for
Speaker 4: somebody who's one thousand percent completely lost.
Speaker 1: Necessarily you can be you can have it all together.
Speaker 4: I feel like I have had it all together ish right,
Speaker 4: but I want to take it to the next level.
Speaker 4: I want to go even more on the offense. And
Speaker 4: I don't, by any means have it all together. But
Speaker 4: I was not in a dark, dark space. But I
Speaker 4: also was so far away from what God has designed
Speaker 4: me to be, so far away from from the values,
Speaker 4: the talents and the purpose that God that has designed
Speaker 4: in my heart and all my life. And I feel
Speaker 4: like I'm starting to scratch that service even more and
Speaker 4: now I can see it more than I ever had
Speaker 4: in my entire life.
Speaker 2: Hopefully I didn't say it wrong. I want to be clear.
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with counseling. There's nothing wrong with the psychologists.
Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with any of that, and that's important
Speaker 2: and it's important part of our culture and people people
Speaker 2: should utilize that as they as they need it. This
Speaker 2: doesn't replace that, Okay, you know what I mean? Yes, absolutely,
Speaker 2: I need I need somebody who has some self awareness
Speaker 2: and is actually really to do some hard work because
Speaker 2: it's hard. It's hard work, so you don't want to
Speaker 2: help yourself.
Speaker 3: It's gonna it's just gonna be hard as shit to
Speaker 3: you know, work with somebody like you or have somebody
Speaker 3: there that wants to hold you accountable. But if you
Speaker 3: truly can't figure out how to hold yourself accountable right
Speaker 3: and there, you're not gonna you can't be worked on that. Well.
Speaker 2: Yet, something I really I really admire about Michael is
Speaker 2: that he's a he's a faith guy. That's an important
Speaker 2: it's an important part of his life. It's it's key,
Speaker 2: and it's foundational and who he is and what he believes. Okay,
Speaker 2: all right, So if that is true, then can you
Speaker 2: really clearly define that and connect that to something that's
Speaker 2: very real and it's something that you're actively, actively, practically
Speaker 2: using in your life, or is it oversimplified ideology? Because
Speaker 2: I was a faith guy back in the day who
Speaker 2: was just spouting off words that meant nothing to me,
Speaker 2: and I don't really live it out. I didn't know
Speaker 2: how to live it out. And it was because somebody
Speaker 2: else said it, but I didn't own any of it.
Speaker 2: So it really kind of made me more of a
Speaker 2: hypocrite and it certainly wasn't a force multiplier.
Speaker 3: I've had some verses like memorize again, I recall on
Speaker 3: and talk about right.
Speaker 2: So when we're when we addressed this idea, I didn't
Speaker 2: tell him the faith was important. He just said it was, Okay,
Speaker 2: now define that. What does that really mean in your life?
Speaker 2: And is it something that you're actually using in your life?
Speaker 2: And then past that, what are the other values in
Speaker 2: your life? You know, what are the other things that
Speaker 2: if you're telling me and Mike Michael would say that
Speaker 2: face a foundational strength value in his life. Okay, that's
Speaker 2: the case. Then what are the other things in your
Speaker 2: life that make that meaningful? Right? What are the other
Speaker 2: values and how does that How does this idea of
Speaker 2: faith in your life how do you use it in
Speaker 2: the weaknesses in your life? And then how does it
Speaker 2: affect your future? Or are you just going to quote
Speaker 2: some scripture at me it doesn't really mean a whole lot, right,
Speaker 2: and then you're just going to roll out of here
Speaker 2: and that I'm not down with you know, Yeah, go ahead, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was gonna say.
Speaker 3: Now you have all of this stuff clearly defined, you
Speaker 3: have it in language.
Speaker 2: People, you start to figure out, you're starting to learn
Speaker 2: a lot more about yourself.
Speaker 3: Right, and now, when you have all these tools and
Speaker 3: you have all this kind of standard created, do you
Speaker 3: repetitively constantly measure it week in and week out?
Speaker 2: Right? Or when you go through a fight.
Speaker 3: Or whoever you're working with like or rich like a workouts,
Speaker 3: or if you're trying to hit these measurables, are you
Speaker 3: looking at that? Are you looking at results a lot
Speaker 3: from this language that you've written down, or no matter
Speaker 3: what the result is, you're still always trying to live
Speaker 3: in those in this code that you've written in the
Speaker 3: language and being clear you know what I mean. So
Speaker 3: an example, say you don't hit something, or say you
Speaker 3: lose a title fight, what's the next mentoring session look like?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great question. The goal in the end
Speaker 2: is to spend all this time going through these mental
Speaker 2: challenges and creating the language, and then arriving at the
Speaker 2: last part of this process where you condense it down
Speaker 2: to single words that mean all of that, that mean
Speaker 2: everything that you've just written your code. Write your own
Speaker 2: code gotch you so that you know what it is,
Speaker 2: the Strength and Honor code meaning my purpose statement. My
Speaker 2: name is James Dean Hensel. I'm a son of God.
Speaker 2: I'm a challenger, exhorder and an encourager. I will run
Speaker 2: to the battle for in the battle I find peace.
Speaker 2: I'm the father of Taylor and Brittany, daughters of Promise.
Speaker 2: That means something. I'm the husband of Christen Hensel. FG.
Speaker 2: That really means something. There's this statement that I can
Speaker 2: say quickly that is extremely impactful in my life. And
Speaker 2: then I can go through the core values. If you
Speaker 2: get me started talking about the core values, we'll be
Speaker 2: here for two days. Those are that's language that I
Speaker 2: know about me and how to use it in my life.
Speaker 2: And then when you bring them to a few words
Speaker 2: and you bring him down, well, bring it down to
Speaker 2: fight fights in my fights in my core values. It's
Speaker 2: in his too. He just defines it different. Okay, he
Speaker 2: just defines it different, and what it means to him
Speaker 2: is a little bit different than what it means to me.
Speaker 2: So we bring it all the way back to a
Speaker 2: core value with authentic language that means something, not the dictionary,
Speaker 2: not what your dad said, or your pastors said, or
Speaker 2: any of those people, but what you believe. And then
Speaker 2: a mission statement I culture, I will I can do
Speaker 2: it in thirty seconds, just like Maximus did in my
Speaker 2: greatest moment of opportunity, darkest hour. I sure tell know
Speaker 2: who I am that no one can ever take away
Speaker 2: from me. So you want to put it into that
Speaker 2: format so that you can quickly. I mean, if I
Speaker 2: literally said to you right now, will define yourself, tell
Speaker 2: me purpose, tell me values, and then tell me how
Speaker 2: you you know, tell me in language what you're gonna
Speaker 2: do with it. Could you do it in thirty seconds
Speaker 2: or less? I know that's not fair because you haven't.
Speaker 3: But these are what your clients, These are what your
Speaker 3: people you work with. This is the this is what
Speaker 3: this is the goal to get to.
Speaker 2: That's the goal.
Speaker 3: Now. Once you have that goal, right now, how do
Speaker 3: you use it, and how do you how do you
Speaker 3: uh act, you know, how do you grow to work? Yeah?
Speaker 2: How do you put it to work? And how do
Speaker 2: you grow it? Values should be breathing and growing at
Speaker 2: all times. What what it meant? Family? My definition of
Speaker 2: family meant one thing prior to being married, it meant
Speaker 2: one thing after being divorced, it meant the next thing
Speaker 2: after being a father, and now I'm looking at grandkids
Speaker 2: here in the future probably, And it's been living, breathing,
Speaker 2: and growing in my life at least once a year.
Speaker 2: I'm coming back to redefining and updating and deciding what's
Speaker 2: valuable about the things I believe in.
Speaker 3: Now when you say you're redefining and updating, all right,
Speaker 3: I know you can talk about your core values and
Speaker 3: stuff like that.
Speaker 2: Are you also alluding to goals and big big stuff
Speaker 2: that's kind of for sure? That makes you uncomfortable, for sure.
Speaker 2: So in the value system, we have what we call
Speaker 2: strength values. These are big rocks, okay, big things that
Speaker 2: I know probably don't change very much other than updating.
Speaker 2: I've got this idea of weakness values. These are values
Speaker 2: that address my limitations, the stories in my life that
Speaker 2: are negative. So that's important for me. I was a
Speaker 2: worrier and the word hope is extremely meaningful to me
Speaker 2: in the way that I've defined it, So that's a
Speaker 2: big deal to me. I worked hard to go from
Speaker 2: being a warrier who was left, who didn't do what
Speaker 2: he thought he would do in life to being a
Speaker 2: very hopeful person. And it took fighting for it. Yes,
Speaker 2: the next kind of an ideal or value I call
Speaker 2: an ideal value, and those are more connected to goals,
Speaker 2: and those change for me every year. Right this year,
Speaker 2: I talked about freedom in a big way. I took
Speaker 2: this whole entire year to define what freedom means to me,
Speaker 2: something I've been reading about, studying about connecting to my life,
Speaker 2: so that when this year ends, I'm going to have
Speaker 2: a really good idea about what freedom means to me.
Speaker 2: Do you are you? It is October? Now? How are
Speaker 2: you feeling about freedom? Right now? It's huge. I mean,
Speaker 2: I've thought about it from what it means as a country,
Speaker 2: what I believe as well. The first thing is I
Speaker 2: think we have a freedom problem and that people don't
Speaker 2: know how to be free, okay, and that freedom destroys us.
Speaker 2: We're just we don't know how to operate and live
Speaker 2: inside of that. I see people who have been given
Speaker 2: this right to make choices and decisions, and a lot
Speaker 2: of people do really well with it, and a lot
Speaker 2: of people don't. So for me, how do I stay
Speaker 2: connected inside of freedom? How do I maximize freedom? I've
Speaker 2: thought about it at a government level and what I
Speaker 2: believe about that, and a lot of people go there immediately.
Speaker 2: I've thought about what it means in my finances so
Speaker 2: I can get ahead and be where I want to
Speaker 2: be and what I want to do. I've thought about
Speaker 2: it as it relates to my relationships, and then I
Speaker 2: walked it all the way down to in the morning
Speaker 2: when I get out of bed. Your process well, actually,
Speaker 2: actually even deeper. Am I being influenced immediately? Or am
Speaker 2: I an influencer if I put my feet on the floor.
Speaker 2: What I realized was as soon as I went to
Speaker 2: social media, soon as I went to email. That's not nefarious,
Speaker 2: it's not bad. But all of a sudden, I am
Speaker 2: now following that influence. Instead of having some space for
Speaker 2: me to be free, for my feet to hit the
Speaker 2: ground and be free, I'm going to go outside and
Speaker 2: I'm going to shoot my bow for thirty minutes and
Speaker 2: just be quiet and be okay in the quiet, so
Speaker 2: that when I connect to my day and the things
Speaker 2: that I think are valuable and purposeful, I'm doing it
Speaker 2: as an influencer. I'm taking it in the way that
Speaker 2: I want to take it. And I think here's a
Speaker 2: huge mistake inside of freedom that most of us, and
Speaker 2: many of us would say, if we're honest, Holy smokes,
Speaker 2: there's no space to really really be influencing and free.
Speaker 2: So that's how deep I've thought about it. I like that,
Speaker 2: what is something that you've written down? What is it
Speaker 2: called idea? Idea goal or idea? Yeah? Ideal values, ideal values?
Speaker 2: What what's like a goal you've written down?
Speaker 1: Wait, an ideal value?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I could go when he.
Speaker 1: Told wanness or I want value?
Speaker 2: I think for me?
Speaker 4: See see what the the beautiful thing about this is
Speaker 4: say a word that I'm about to say right now
Speaker 4: might seem different, but because of the shortcomings of my past,
Speaker 4: like because I want a want value for me, I
Speaker 4: think was because we're at the process right now where
Speaker 4: I think I have right now he's actuel and I'm
Speaker 4: and and yesterday we went through a couple of different definitions.
Speaker 1: I have three different definitions of the.
Speaker 4: Word reliability or stability, you know. For for me, the
Speaker 4: biggest the biggest deterrent in my life has been other
Speaker 4: people's expectations or not believing in myself enough or playing small,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 2: So, so the.
Speaker 4: Ideas of my want value of being author authentic, the
Speaker 4: want value of being free.
Speaker 1: And just for me, just being being free.
Speaker 4: To know that that there was a There was an
Speaker 4: almighty God that created me in his image. And since
Speaker 4: I was born, I have not been living free. I
Speaker 4: have not been there's There has been numerous times in
Speaker 4: my life where I've seen glimpses of it and glimmers
Speaker 4: of it, and those are some of the greatest moments
Speaker 4: of my life. A couple of fights ago against Gothyamuchi,
Speaker 4: which you guys didn't see the fight, but in that
Speaker 4: moment I felt the most free I had ever been
Speaker 4: inside of that cage, within my purpose, within my do
Speaker 4: and being close to one hundred percent of who God
Speaker 4: designed me to be. But it only comes out in glimpses,
Speaker 4: you know, so, being able to be defined and be
Speaker 4: able to give that important trade outs of the world.
Speaker 3: But what is what is a one like what does
Speaker 3: that look like in a in a result form?
Speaker 2: And don't you guys might not even talk about a
Speaker 2: result form.
Speaker 1: No, really, well for sure, but we don't. We don't
Speaker 1: have a lot of goals.
Speaker 4: Hey by the end, you know in twenty twenty, I'm
Speaker 4: gonna do this and no, I honestly, it's all about me.
Speaker 1: Who is Michael Chandler going to be?
Speaker 3: Who is It's all about well, it's I.
Speaker 1: It's identity.
Speaker 4: And one of the greatest things that you said too,
Speaker 4: is is you know, because we talked about because one
Speaker 4: of my biggest fears and one of the things that
Speaker 4: has helped me back is sometimes and not that which
Speaker 4: this is the cool thing about our process. We don't
Speaker 4: do quotes, and we don't do scripture, right, cute.
Speaker 1: Faith guy, Christian.
Speaker 4: But I was not going to do this process based
Speaker 4: upon this scripture or that scripture or this quote loves
Speaker 4: zig Ziglar.
Speaker 1: I love Tony Rabbins love.
Speaker 4: But I'm I'm not going to use these different quotes
Speaker 4: right because I'm that's where I always default to.
Speaker 1: So we had to we had to.
Speaker 4: Put the kabash on that just for this process, just
Speaker 4: for the game. Then when we get done, then we
Speaker 4: can continue to move into that. But for me, playing small,
Speaker 4: you know you, playing small doesn't do anybody a favor.
Speaker 4: There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't
Speaker 4: feel insecure around you. And my whole entire life I
Speaker 4: was I have been afraid to be the best at
Speaker 4: something for the fear of how it may affect you negatively,
Speaker 4: or how it may affect you negatively, or how you
Speaker 4: might not feel great about yourself because of how dominant
Speaker 4: I just was. Sounds a little bit crazy because I've
Speaker 4: been in hand hand combat since I was fourteen years old,
Speaker 4: and my goal is to go out there and break
Speaker 4: somebody and hurt somebody now in a cage in front
Speaker 4: of millions of people. So for me, that was always
Speaker 4: that has always been one of my things is not
Speaker 4: coming off to cocky. And one of the most profound
Speaker 4: things that you said to me in this he said, well,
Speaker 4: the antidote to cockiness is being defined. There's nothing wrong
Speaker 4: with being defined. Even though when you sit there and
Speaker 4: you say I am James Dean Hensel, I am this, this, this,
Speaker 4: and if there was one hundred people sitting here, they'll
Speaker 4: be like, man, that's a little bit weird this guy
Speaker 4: because because confidence breeds insecurity, like right, we are sometimes
Speaker 4: afraid to be around somebody who is that confident, you know, And.
Speaker 1: I think that's a problem with society these days. We
Speaker 1: look at these people who are who are.
Speaker 4: So defined and they're so confident in themselves that we shrink.
Speaker 4: And I believe the human spirit was created for so
Speaker 4: much more, that we were all designed to be put
Speaker 4: on this earth to be over overwhelmingly being able to
Speaker 4: achieve abundantly and overwhelmingly.
Speaker 1: More than we ever could have thought or imagine.
Speaker 4: And that's always been kind of one of one of
Speaker 4: my things is being afraid to be too successful around
Speaker 4: people for fear of what it may make them feel
Speaker 4: like because of the way you were raised.
Speaker 2: Because honestly, of some of those things, goals come next.
Speaker 2: Goals are important. What we're working out here is identity, correct.
Speaker 3: Correct, I'm saying we have identity taken care of. When
Speaker 3: do goals come in next?
Speaker 2: So now we want to take whatever it is that
Speaker 2: you say you want to do. Yes, whatever it is
Speaker 2: that you're the task, task, job, emotion, whatever that is
Speaker 2: that you want to make happen in your life. What
Speaker 2: I care about is that you formulate did this platform
Speaker 2: of strength so that we can connect to that in
Speaker 2: an authentic way.
Speaker 3: Right, And now I want I'm asking the question, what
Speaker 3: are these goals that have happened for what are these
Speaker 3: goals in twenty nineteen, like for me, for any example
Speaker 3: from me a goal with busting with the boys, not
Speaker 3: even busting with the boys. But somebody looked at in
Speaker 3: my journal was that I was going to be one
Speaker 3: of the first players slash coaches because at this point
Speaker 3: in time, I knew my transition point was when I'm
Speaker 3: done with football get into coaching. But when I was
Speaker 3: looking back in my journal, it was be one of
Speaker 3: the first player slash coach to have a podcast with
Speaker 3: a million all time downloads. Right, So now I start
Speaker 3: with the end in mind and kind of backtrack on
Speaker 3: what that looks like in a formulated process for who
Speaker 3: I'm surrounding myself with what we believe, like what I believe,
Speaker 3: how we're gonna get there taking those steps, but starting
Speaker 3: with the end in mind, what are some of those
Speaker 3: result ends in mind? Now that you've built a strong foundation,
Speaker 3: because I love I love how you're putting that, because
Speaker 3: you're giving me a whole perspective on being intentional with
Speaker 3: who you're defining yourself as us. Now we've we're learning
Speaker 3: to define ourselves based on this conversation.
Speaker 2: Now, what can people do to.
Speaker 3: Have these goals that you're going to look at be
Speaker 3: kind of scared to go after, but how you stay
Speaker 3: intention on that process to get there?
Speaker 2: Let's talk about two ways. First, let's talk I want
Speaker 2: because I want to speak specifically about you, and I
Speaker 2: want to talk about Michael real quick. All the things
Speaker 2: that he's doing as a fighter, training, eating right people,
Speaker 2: he surrounds himself, all that super important. Let's let's narrow
Speaker 2: it all the way to the moment and we've all
Speaker 2: seen it on pay per view when he's walking from
Speaker 2: the tunnel, the music's playing and he's stepping in the cage,
Speaker 2: and in the culture that we live in, there's no
Speaker 2: bigger moment. Correct one percent, it's man versus man. Heart
Speaker 2: starts beating a little more, somebody's somebody's going down in
Speaker 2: that moment. So those two men or women for that matter,
Speaker 2: have put this in a position where, foreshore in front
Speaker 2: of the world, someone's going to be embarrassed, or someone's
Speaker 2: at least going to be seen as the loser, and
Speaker 2: lots of people in our culture want to avoid that.
Speaker 2: He doesn't want to avoid that. In his design. There's
Speaker 2: this idea of tenacious is the word he used, or
Speaker 2: competitor that kind of pours out of him. And so
Speaker 2: he was really kind of born to be in that space.
Speaker 2: And that's not everybody, man, it's just yea factor. He's
Speaker 2: in a what is it? I don't know what's the
Speaker 2: percentage half a percent of the people on the planet
Speaker 2: that will go into a cage and do that. Probably
Speaker 2: it's not me, not a lot. He has smaller than that.
Speaker 3: It's so we have eleven guys on a team, right,
Speaker 3: and it's like there's a one percent I don't know,
Speaker 3: a weird number, but it's even smaller with.
Speaker 2: The UFC dudes. I sorry not UFC MMA, right, disrespect.
Speaker 2: So so he's he's been He has that innate ability
Speaker 2: insigned him and inside him mentally, and it's actually a
Speaker 2: talent he's been given it. It's it's something that he
Speaker 2: didn't really work. He's worked to cultivate it and craft
Speaker 2: it and get better at it, creating some mindset tools.
Speaker 2: But it's actually in him who want to discover that
Speaker 2: we call that purpose. You know, I want to know
Speaker 2: what that is. Purpose in your life, you've experienced it.
Speaker 2: You're a limited group of people who can be on
Speaker 2: the field in the NFL and make that happen. And
Speaker 2: you don't really have to try. I'm not saying you
Speaker 2: haven't worked hard at the X and Z and o's
Speaker 2: and you haven't worked at mindset skills, but it kind
Speaker 2: of pours out of you. You're either a competitor and
Speaker 2: you can get off the block and you can make
Speaker 2: the tackle, or you can't and they'll find somebody who
Speaker 2: can if you can't. So this is the understanding. What
Speaker 2: I care about is that when he goes to train
Speaker 2: every day, he remembers his identity, whatever his goals is
Speaker 2: for the day, if he's wrestling, if he's doing jiu
Speaker 2: jitsu that day, whatever he's got going on that day,
Speaker 2: that he brings the authentic version of who he is
Speaker 2: and his belief system into that space so that he's
Speaker 2: operating from that position of strength. And what I really
Speaker 2: care about is whatever's going through his mind, Because there's
Speaker 2: something going through his mind when he goes from the
Speaker 2: tunnel to the cage that that's way connected to his
Speaker 2: identity because I don't know whether he's gonna win or lose, right, yeah,
Speaker 2: for sure, that's not written for sure. But what we
Speaker 2: want to be in opportunity and adversity is.
Speaker 3: Authentic, and you make sure you're somebody who makes sure
Speaker 3: he stays that authentic self in those moments from the
Speaker 3: walk from the tunnel to the cage and when he's
Speaker 3: in the cage.
Speaker 2: That's what you are there for.
Speaker 3: Most Now, I'm asking you what are your what's your
Speaker 3: individual goal as a fighter to allow him to say, hey,
Speaker 3: these are things I'm also one thing as we're working
Speaker 3: on being intentional in these moments. Right, He's not there
Speaker 3: to be a raw ray remember three time world, three
Speaker 3: time defending champ, right or all these chasing world titles.
Speaker 2: He's not raw raw And hey, remember these are the goals.
Speaker 3: These are the goals. He's talking about being intentional in
Speaker 3: these moments. But what are some Michael Chandler goals that
Speaker 3: you're laying in bed at night and thinking, this is
Speaker 3: what I want to accomplish either this week, this month
Speaker 3: or in fighting.
Speaker 1: I mean, I actually, I mean, don't don't mistake this process.
Speaker 1: This process is not about the goals, right, no, yes,
Speaker 1: okay for me, for me, okay, yeah for me.
Speaker 4: Honestly, mine has all been I've never lost to a
Speaker 4: man inside of the cage.
Speaker 1: I've only lost to myself. I've never I've never I've
Speaker 1: never lost a world title. That wasn't my doing.
Speaker 3: You know, if you always thought that way though your
Speaker 3: first fights, your first loss, you truly felt, I didn't
Speaker 3: lose this fight like there was back then.
Speaker 2: You're saying there wasn't an eagle party.
Speaker 4: That's no back, no back then, because back then, when
Speaker 4: I when I lost my first fight, I went, I
Speaker 4: went into a bad spot. I went, I lost three
Speaker 4: fights in a row, when six and eighty eight days
Speaker 4: without winning, I lost to Eddie Albarez, remember, you know,
Speaker 4: And then that's when I went from I went from
Speaker 4: the number three guy in the entire world. Michael Chandler
Speaker 4: is unstoppable. He needs to go fight Benson. He orson
Speaker 4: in the UFC.
Speaker 1: We think he's the best lightweight in the entire world.
Speaker 4: To lose an Eddie Alvarez and then buying into all
Speaker 4: the media, buying into we knew he wasn't as good
Speaker 4: as he thought he was, or in my mind, the
Speaker 4: little guy inside me who was kind of been whispering
Speaker 4: the whole time.
Speaker 2: Hey, you're not as.
Speaker 1: Good, You're not this good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's only a matter of time. See what these
Speaker 2: people are saying, Like that's truly you.
Speaker 1: You're just a little guy from a little town.
Speaker 4: He should be working at Dobb's Tires right now, Like
Speaker 4: that's where you should be.
Speaker 1: With with with stuff on your shirt.
Speaker 2: Am I? Enough's enough?
Speaker 1: And that's so.
Speaker 4: Back then, it was man, I lost to this guy.
Speaker 4: I need to go get this back. How am I
Speaker 4: going to beat this guy? How am I going to
Speaker 4: gain planning and to be able to cut the cut
Speaker 4: off the cage? How am I going to be able
Speaker 4: to have my hands up more? And I'm gonna be
Speaker 4: able to do this?
Speaker 2: This?
Speaker 1: This this when really.
Speaker 4: The real battle was inside inside my soul, inside my mind,
Speaker 4: inside me.
Speaker 1: It was it was me. It was my shortcomings and
Speaker 1: my self defeating prophecy of eventually you're going to lose because.
Speaker 4: You're not that good, you know, and that Yeah, So
Speaker 4: for me, it's always outperforming my previous self.
Speaker 1: Obviously I have not fought.
Speaker 4: Since Jim and I have worked together, but I would
Speaker 4: the way that I would see it is just for
Speaker 4: me to wake up every single morning. When you talk
Speaker 4: about freedom, when you're talking about having a clear definition,
Speaker 4: when I talk about just being able to walk around
Speaker 4: more confident knowing that I know exactly who I be,
Speaker 4: so in every single interaction, I can do whatever I
Speaker 4: feel at liberty to do.
Speaker 2: We could walk it back to yesterday and we're right
Speaker 2: in this spot in the process for him. And we
Speaker 2: talked about three words yesterday at Starbucks in cook Built, Tennessee.
Speaker 2: And these aren't value words. Another part of the process
Speaker 2: is purpose words. Okay, and and and two things that
Speaker 2: were identifying in Michael's life is and they are the
Speaker 2: opposite sides of this spectrum and who he is. It's
Speaker 2: not just a personality trait. It's it's more of what
Speaker 2: pours out of him no matter where he is or
Speaker 2: what he's doing. One side of it was joy and
Speaker 2: the and the have fun, enjoy, get crazy love. I
Speaker 2: loved that side of life, which if you're not that guy,
Speaker 2: it's robbing authenticity from you. And the other side was
Speaker 2: this tenacious competitive piece of who you are. And what
Speaker 2: was the word in the middle we talked about, which
Speaker 2: is discipline. It's more goal oriented how do you go
Speaker 2: from having a great time and that's your wife loves
Speaker 2: that part about you, your friends love that part about you.
Speaker 2: And if you're not doing that, you're not really authentic.
Speaker 2: And that's and that's what sets me apart from other
Speaker 2: riders as well. And that's and that's what we've you know,
Speaker 2: because I talked about over the last two years, how
Speaker 2: this I've had the last two years have been the
Speaker 2: hardest two years of my life, and it has stolen
Speaker 2: my joy. And I've also been the most undisciplined in
Speaker 2: my entire life because I've had so much to do
Speaker 2: that it was impossible to get it all done. Therefore,
Speaker 2: a I'm a failure every single day because I have
Speaker 2: eighty six things to check off a listen, It's going
Speaker 2: to be impossible. So therefore I stopped being disciplined in
Speaker 2: all the small things.
Speaker 1: I stopped being I was disciplined in the big things.
Speaker 4: I kept my diet good, I kept my training good.
Speaker 4: But it was the small things that continue to add
Speaker 4: up and add up and add up, and it may
Speaker 4: be a less effective human being. And it's the joy aspect.
Speaker 4: I think my ability, my ability to be a leader
Speaker 4: and make a dent in the culture of men lies
Speaker 4: in my ability to mesh joy with my tenacity when
Speaker 4: when I can beat the crap out of somebody inside
Speaker 4: of a cage and then the next day somebody meets
Speaker 4: me and like and they think, Wow, I didn't expect
Speaker 4: you to be this nice, this loving, this humble, this
Speaker 4: this happy because you just got done beating somebody helping
Speaker 4: in a cage.
Speaker 2: And I can't test to that too.
Speaker 3: First time I met Michael Chandler, I'm thinking, like the
Speaker 3: same thing, Like this dude is super nice for being
Speaker 3: like a savage in the after Well.
Speaker 2: He has the same thing too, Yeah, I did, And
Speaker 2: it means everything because if if you're not authentic in
Speaker 2: the cage or at home with your wife and your son,
Speaker 2: son doesn't really care about tenacity. No, that's not the
Speaker 2: peace right now at his age that connects you or
Speaker 2: the authentic piece of you that's really needed there. The
Speaker 2: joy piece is the piece that you've got to make
Speaker 2: sure so that you're operating inside of and that's really
Speaker 2: truly who you are. How we connect it to goals,
Speaker 2: is this idea of discipline in his life? All right?
Speaker 2: So as a fighter, as a businessman, as a husband,
Speaker 2: as a football player, what's the what's the force multiplier
Speaker 2: idea in your life that connects you to goals in
Speaker 2: an authentic way. We're going to bring the joy and
Speaker 2: we're going to bring the tenacity or this he's a
Speaker 2: competitor man.
Speaker 3: Into these areas and goals in each part of your life.
Speaker 2: So that it's authentic and so that it's really connected
Speaker 2: to your.
Speaker 4: Truth and so that the and so that the goals,
Speaker 4: whether they are written down, which they should be written down,
Speaker 4: whether they are written down, or whether they are just
Speaker 4: a byproduct of you knowing exactly who you are, You're
Speaker 4: going to be closer to the idea of that goal,
Speaker 4: that benchmark, that accomplishment.
Speaker 1: Because you know exactly who you are and all this.
Speaker 2: Okay, you get it. Yeah, No, I'm totally goodding, I'm
Speaker 2: I'm I'm truly.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to simplify as much as possible for people listening,
Speaker 3: because I know people are going to be.
Speaker 2: Fired up about this stuff. How much time are we at?
Speaker 2: An hour? Ten? Oh? Fuck, we've been rolling, boys, we've
Speaker 2: been rolling. So Jim, we're working.
Speaker 3: You're we got we are we have defined who we
Speaker 3: are as people in our values, in our authenticity and
Speaker 3: just we're confident in who we are.
Speaker 2: And I have this written down on paper.
Speaker 3: What are the areas that you have written goals? So,
Speaker 3: for example, I I've I work with Ben Newman. He's
Speaker 3: been a performance coach of mind that I've worked on,
Speaker 3: you know Ben, And.
Speaker 2: It's like personal, professional.
Speaker 3: I'm just not thinking right now, like it's there's like
Speaker 3: three different areas, right, and you're writing.
Speaker 2: Goals of what it looks like. So my rookie year
Speaker 2: I always allude to that.
Speaker 3: For instance, it was a professional it was make an
Speaker 3: impact on the on the Redskins roster be a starting
Speaker 3: linebacker for the Washington Redskins as a rookie. Failed at
Speaker 3: that goal, right, and you're gonna fail, You're gonna constantly fail.
Speaker 2: And personal it was reading.
Speaker 3: Reading my one year Bible every day. And I don't
Speaker 3: know if it's it's like service and service. It was
Speaker 3: have five speaking engagements to schools, giving back and I
Speaker 3: truly feared speaking in front of people, but it was
Speaker 3: giving back through having a football camp. We'll come to the
Speaker 3: football camp, shout out to the boys, and having five
Speaker 3: speaking engagements, right, based on these.
Speaker 2: Values that we've defined on who we are.
Speaker 3: Now we take them to these goals are what are
Speaker 3: these areas that you have me and Mike right down
Speaker 3: to where hey, we're gonna have goals in these areas.
Speaker 3: And then when you get to these benchmarks, whether you
Speaker 3: whether you fail or get them, do you go to
Speaker 3: another goal in a benchmark?
Speaker 2: Right sure?
Speaker 3: Or is it constantly living in who you are in
Speaker 3: these moments. And it's more up to him to define
Speaker 3: what goals he wants in his.
Speaker 2: Life or in our life. So that's a great question.
Speaker 2: And what I think is when you authentically know who
Speaker 2: you are the do the task, the goal, the job,
Speaker 2: you do a better job of picking the right one, gotcha?
Speaker 2: And that right one. We want to make sure that
Speaker 2: whatever Michael's doing, whatever that goal is, that job is,
Speaker 2: that task is actually connected to in purpose, which is
Speaker 2: joy and tenacity, and then this list of core values.
Speaker 2: For me, it's whatever I'm going to do, whatever my
Speaker 2: job is, whatever my task is, it's got to be
Speaker 2: connected to challenge, exhort, encourage, because that's what pours out
Speaker 2: of me. It doesn't matter what I do. I'm coaching somebody, fight, work, hope, faith, team, family, excellence, purpose, responsibility, love,
Speaker 2: and freedom. That's my filter. Here's how I feel about it,
Speaker 2: this is what I believe about it. Now, here's what
Speaker 2: I'm going to do, so that every time I aim
Speaker 2: at that nest task or next goal, whether it's at
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty one years old, what I'm trying to
Speaker 2: do physically, and I have those goals, and then what
Speaker 2: am I trying to do in business? And I have
Speaker 2: those goals and the kind of parent that I want
Speaker 2: to be and the husband want to be. I have
Speaker 2: those goals that all of that stays on track. It
Speaker 2: becomes the guard rails that keeps me from either letting
Speaker 2: momentum in life get me in the space that's not
Speaker 2: connected to my purpose or my values or emotion that
Speaker 2: gets me off track. Gotcha, it's a It's an entire filter.
Speaker 2: So that whatever he's doing in jiu jitsu that day,
Speaker 2: whatever he's doing in wrestling that day, or whatever he's
Speaker 2: doing in striking that day, whatever he wants to do
Speaker 2: I don't know contractually moving forward in your career, those
Speaker 2: are all the goals things that he's looking at. We
Speaker 2: just know for sure that's authentic and it's it's just
Speaker 2: like your base right when when you're when you're you're
Speaker 2: lined up before the snap, where's that first foot going.
Speaker 2: It's got to go the right way. It has to happen,
Speaker 2: or you're behind, you're slow getting to where you're supposed
Speaker 2: to be. It's that kind of perspective. I just want
Speaker 2: you to know what identity is so that when you
Speaker 2: make that move, you're headed in the right direction and
Speaker 2: you're headed there. I want you to be one hundred
Speaker 2: percent of the person you were created to be when
Speaker 2: you arrive at the goal or whatever that is inside
Speaker 2: you want.
Speaker 1: And I think that's my only goal right now.
Speaker 4: I have I have not thought about goals or looked
Speaker 4: at goals, or written down goals or written.
Speaker 1: Down anything anything tangible.
Speaker 4: There's there's nothing I've written down that says I want
Speaker 4: to get this, accomplish that have this number, have that
Speaker 4: If I can just be one hundred percent of who
Speaker 4: I was created to be and designed to be, then
Speaker 4: those goals are going to take care of themselves and
Speaker 4: and when we get through this process, which we're.
Speaker 2: Pretty soon we get being done.
Speaker 4: But I would imagine as well, like you said, they're living,
Speaker 4: they're breathing, We're going to continue to tweak.
Speaker 1: We're going to continue to move.
Speaker 4: Next fight I win, they might be different than if
Speaker 4: next fight I lose. Contract is up in a couple
Speaker 4: of fights.
Speaker 1: Where we going what are we doing? And then we
Speaker 1: can figure out what's next after that?
Speaker 2: And are you are you?
Speaker 3: Are you reciting and reviewing and seeing these things on
Speaker 3: a daily basis to keep you.
Speaker 1: Into I'm pretty I'm pretty excited.
Speaker 4: I mean, we have we have a one hundred and
Speaker 4: two hundred page book that we've written and we've looked
Speaker 4: at and and there's an online course that there's there's
Speaker 4: a well, there's a video of you and rich and
Speaker 4: Ellie work.
Speaker 2: Is it out there? Can you find it right now? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Mayh ma ma mindset dot com.
Speaker 4: And then and then there's a listening portion where in
Speaker 4: every single challenge, every single week, there's a video and
Speaker 4: then there's audio, and then there's a lot of writing.
Speaker 2: There's still in the workbook.
Speaker 1: It's it really does which I did not like school,
Speaker 1: not like school. Most of us didn't.
Speaker 4: But it takes you kind of back to Okay, we're
Speaker 4: going to you're going to put yourself on task and
Speaker 4: you're going to learn, and then you're going to look
Speaker 4: in deep. How How is how is this different for you?
Speaker 4: And you and the next thousand people?
Speaker 1: How is this? How is this personal to me?
Speaker 4: And my my goals, my life, my shortcomings, my insecurities
Speaker 4: and really pulling that stuff out.
Speaker 1: And I've learned so much just by writing.
Speaker 4: And you're one of those moments where you're writing something
Speaker 4: and something ends up on paper that you didn't really
Speaker 4: cognitively think about. It just happened, and then you then
Speaker 4: you read it and realize, Wow, that literally poured out
Speaker 4: of the essence of who I am, but it poured
Speaker 4: out of the essence of my heart.
Speaker 1: There it is, there's the key to what we need
Speaker 1: to fix, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Vince Lombardie. And I'm not a big quote guy. I
Speaker 2: kind of try to avoid quotes because.
Speaker 3: I kind of like that one quote with the thing
Speaker 3: that's like while sitting there like like I'm like it's
Speaker 3: getting onto like you and you said it too. I
Speaker 3: don't get caught up in the tangible things I'm trying
Speaker 3: to get to and I'm sitting there processing because me,
Speaker 3: I like, I gotta know what I'm going to achieve.
Speaker 3: Maybe I get too caught up. You can get too
Speaker 3: caught up in that fundamentally sometimes because you're you're losing
Speaker 3: sight of who you are at the core, and that's
Speaker 3: where some stuff comes in. It's like reciting and reviewing
Speaker 3: who the definition of you is and making sure that
Speaker 3: that's what's pouring in and getting that thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think and I think that's the beautiful
Speaker 4: thing too, because we're sitting here talking about writing down
Speaker 4: goals and I'm almost saying, well, don't.
Speaker 1: Worry about the goals, worry about who you are.
Speaker 4: And then but there's that beautiful mixture between both. And
Speaker 4: like you said, when those things line up, you know
Speaker 4: exactly who you be, then you can do.
Speaker 1: Exactly what you want to do.
Speaker 2: And think about how really cool David Goggins or been Yeah,
Speaker 2: what what they offer, How how much easier it is
Speaker 2: for them to coach you when you show up in
Speaker 2: control of your emotions or knowing how to control your
Speaker 2: emotions and knowing who you are in identity now their motivation,
Speaker 2: how to write things down, how to set stuff up,
Speaker 2: you know, how to get done, what you're gonna do
Speaker 2: during the day is really powerful and you're off to
Speaker 2: the races if you show up requiring him to motivate
Speaker 2: you just to get you on your feet, to get
Speaker 2: you moving, dude. That's why I said motivation is so
Speaker 2: wasted in our culture. In many ways, our lives do this.
Speaker 2: They roll a coaster instead of really, I kind of
Speaker 2: show up and I know who I am and I
Speaker 2: can hold myself to to that. And now this motivation
Speaker 2: piece and education piece, proper goal setting, proper time management,
Speaker 2: get nutrition, all those things become force multipliers and we
Speaker 2: move ahead intentionally at a higher speed. I was going
Speaker 2: to say this, Ben Sombardi said, individual commitment to a
Speaker 2: group effort. That's what makes team and society and our
Speaker 2: country move. And we have a crisis of identity in
Speaker 2: our world right now. People don't really know how they fit.
Speaker 2: And I don't mean this. I'm not. I'm not I'm
Speaker 2: not down on anybody. I'm not I'm not trying to
Speaker 2: be bad. Just from from sexuality to people. People are
Speaker 2: super concerned or don't know who they are, and we're
Speaker 2: fighting for that. And I think in order for us
Speaker 2: to be able to take advantage of the freedom that
Speaker 2: we've been given, we got to know. You got to
Speaker 2: know who the hell you are. You've got to be
Speaker 2: able to respond in identity or I'm sorry, inopportunity or adversity,
Speaker 2: and you need to know what that is so that
Speaker 2: you know how you fit to the team. You know
Speaker 2: where you make a difference in your family, what your
Speaker 2: role is there, how, how that is on a team,
Speaker 2: how that is in our culture, so that we're all
Speaker 2: moving together and each one of us as individuals can
Speaker 2: make a contribution that's valuable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, And if you're listening like that, those are
Speaker 3: the areas.
Speaker 2: That's the stuff right there.
Speaker 3: Like if you're when when you're feeling moved by this conversations,
Speaker 3: you got to put pen the paper man and take actions,
Speaker 3: because that's how If not again, it's it's if you
Speaker 3: live by your feeling all the time, your feelings are
Speaker 3: gonna fail you. We've talked about standard over feelings, right
Speaker 3: or writing out a standard, like you map out your
Speaker 3: entire standard written in language, and you have to recite
Speaker 3: and see this standard you've written for yourself and being
Speaker 3: intentional whatever all this definition means for yourself.
Speaker 2: If you don't look at it.
Speaker 3: Every day, you know, day fifty Will Compton is gonna
Speaker 3: feel a lot different than day one.
Speaker 2: Will content on one me and you walk away from
Speaker 2: a meeting.
Speaker 3: If I don't carry out what you're teaching me, and
Speaker 3: I don't write down and I'm not intentional with who
Speaker 3: I've defined myself as, and I forget about it, and
Speaker 3: I'm hype on day one. If I just go by
Speaker 3: feelings day fifty like, you're gonna, you're gonna sleep in
Speaker 3: low you you you start to feel bad for yourself,
Speaker 3: right like, oh, I can get away with this and
Speaker 3: get away with that. But if you're looking at your
Speaker 3: ship every day and getting you know, reciting what you've
Speaker 3: written for yourself or whether you have a mentor in
Speaker 3: your life or a coach, or you're doing it alone.
Speaker 3: If you're not reciting to yourself what you wrote on
Speaker 3: day one, you're gonna you're gonna succumb to.
Speaker 2: Your feelings for sure. And I love this man, even me.
Speaker 4: Sitting here, you know, for for people listening right now,
Speaker 4: just just today, tomorrow, next, tomorrow morning, whatever.
Speaker 1: Wake up, wake up a little bit early.
Speaker 4: Write down five of the key you know, we've talked
Speaker 4: about them. We call them your values, you call call
Speaker 4: them whatever you want. Strength words, things I want to
Speaker 4: live by.
Speaker 1: Who am I? And write down five words and just
Speaker 1: write your own definition of them.
Speaker 4: You most of us listening probably right now, say if
Speaker 4: I said, what are the three things you stand for?
Speaker 4: They could say it, They could they could come up
Speaker 4: with something in the next ten seconds, say I stand
Speaker 4: for these three things. But now put a colon and
Speaker 4: now put an actual definition with it, put actual words
Speaker 4: in language with it, because, like I said, my definition
Speaker 4: of faith is different than yours, and yours and yours,
Speaker 4: even though they're very similar, they're going to be they're
Speaker 4: gonna be somewhat similar, they're going to be different. They're
Speaker 4: going to be put in a different language. And if
Speaker 4: it's not a language, just not a tool. And then
Speaker 4: and then even just read those over this next seven days,
Speaker 4: read those three read those definitions of those three things
Speaker 4: once or.
Speaker 1: Twice or three times a day.
Speaker 4: Put it in your wallet, put in your phone, in
Speaker 4: your notes, and just realize how it kind of changes
Speaker 4: your perspective on things, and how those three words are
Speaker 4: five words or those some a mixture of those definitions
Speaker 4: somewhat comes up and comes in the back of your
Speaker 4: mind when you're in your next interaction, when you're in
Speaker 4: your next meeting, when you're in your next quiet time,
Speaker 4: when you're in your because you've now taken these words
Speaker 4: and you've put a definition with them, and now they
Speaker 4: are a language, and now they are a tool, and
Speaker 4: they become in the forefront of your mind. Now you
Speaker 4: move a little somewhat defined. You you have somewhat defined
Speaker 4: because everything else is just subjective and subconscious, and we
Speaker 4: can't unless you're doing a ton of work every single day.
Speaker 4: You can't trust your subconscious because everything we see on
Speaker 4: social media, see on YouTube, listen to on podcasts, all
Speaker 4: that stuff is being downloaded into our minds and our
Speaker 4: brains and it's it all gets jumbled up and it's
Speaker 4: not actually clearly defined.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it makes you move differently. I want to sharpen that,
Speaker 2: just to tad absolutely. Three value to finish. Three values.
Speaker 2: A strength value, big rock you know right now in
Speaker 2: your life, Yeah, something like that, a weakness value. So
Speaker 2: I want you to I want you to take decide
Speaker 2: what is what is the negative emotion that gets the
Speaker 2: best of you. It's a anger, worry, whatever that is.
Speaker 2: And I want you to create a value that's the
Speaker 2: opposite of that. For me, it was worry and I
Speaker 2: and I worked at hope, so hope was the value,
Speaker 2: and then an idea of value that's a value that
Speaker 2: that it's something that you see in the culture that
Speaker 2: you're aiming at that you want to be a part
Speaker 2: of your life. So that the values encompass your strengths,
Speaker 2: your weaknesses, and your desires for the future. Those are
Speaker 2: the three values from the Mayhem Mindset process that I
Speaker 2: want someone to really look at and then move out
Speaker 2: into your day and make sure that that that's something
Speaker 2: that you're thinking about front of mind and you're using it.
Speaker 2: I love that, dude. Where can that? Where can everybody
Speaker 2: find you? Mayhem mindset dot com. There's a there's a
Speaker 2: course there and a bunch of stuff and I'm at
Speaker 2: Jimmy Underscore Hencil on Instagram. I'm gonna follow you, dude,
Speaker 2: right on.
Speaker 3: Follow me Mayhem mindset dot com and people can on
Speaker 3: like a course and just see all about you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's an online course there people can get into.
Speaker 2: We send you a workbook. There's audio and video on
Speaker 2: the whole thing that goes that you can work through
Speaker 2: it on your own or if if you want to
Speaker 2: spend some time with me, there's options to get involved
Speaker 2: with me so I can coach you one on one
Speaker 2: that's awesome. And Mike, everybody knows where to find you.
Speaker 2: Go ahead say it again.
Speaker 4: I'll be here on the bus if you guys need it.
Speaker 4: Yeah at Mike Chandler, Ramee on Instagram, Twitter.
Speaker 1: All that stuff. That's how I connect with people.
Speaker 2: Dude. I appreciate it, guys. It's appreciate it for the boys,
Speaker 2: for the boys. Boys. Yeah, all right, fellas