WEBVTT - “I HAVE 7 KIDS” 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:01.280 Hey, folks, it's Lyle. 0:00:01.480 --> 0:00:02.000 Get this. 0:00:02.400 --> 0:00:06.800 I'm coming to over forty cities across the United States, 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:12.160 the UK, Europe, and Australia to do this here Therapy 0:00:12.240 --> 0:00:17.120 Gecko Podcast Live. These shows will involve bringing folks from 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:19.880 the audience up on stage to talk to a gecko 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:24.160 about whatever they want, just like we do on the podcast. 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:29.360 The shows are completely unplanned, completely unpredictable, and they will 0:00:29.400 --> 0:00:31.479 be a lot of fun. So if you're a fan 0:00:31.560 --> 0:00:35.360 of the podcast, you should definitely come out. Tickets are 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:39.680 available right now at therapy geckotour dot com and you 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:43.840 should get them before they are sold out. That's therapy 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:47.440 geckotour dot com. We'll put the link in the episode 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:51.400 description as well. The live shows are are very fun, 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:55.520 they're very geko wee, and I hope to see you there. 0:00:55.920 --> 0:00:59.040 All right, let's get into the episode. Hello, Hello, Who 0:00:59.120 --> 0:00:59.400 is this? 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:00.560 Shadow? 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:01.080 Oh? 0:01:01.160 --> 0:01:04.399 High Shadow? I said that Sonic the Hedgehog. You ever 0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:06.000 played the Sonic the Hedgehog games? 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:12.160 Oh, hey, Shadow, I have, but my kids do and 0:01:12.440 --> 0:01:13.600 my nephews do. 0:01:16.840 --> 0:01:21.080 Well. Well, Well, what's going on, Shadow? How can I 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:21.880 get you today? 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:25.199 Well, first, I want to tell you I'm forty seven 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:29.960 years old and I'm a mom of seven and one 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:32.440 of my oldest sons turned me on to you, and 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:36.600 now I am obsessed. All right, listen to you Almost 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:40.280 every I got back to the older shows. I listened 0:01:40.319 --> 0:01:43.800 to you, and I fall asleep. You are You're better 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:45.679 than Fraser any day. If you know that. 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:49.440 Round, Well, I appreciate that. I do know that reference. 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:52.040 I've never actually seen an episode of Fraser, but I 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:56.560 know it's about well, Fraser is a real I mean, 0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:59.200 I know he's Fraser is not a real person, but 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:05.240 in the he's a real therapist canonically correct. 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:07.600 Yeah, yes, okay. 0:02:08.320 --> 0:02:10.399 Well, I appreciate that. I'll have to watch Frasier now. 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:14.720 But anyway, my son said I needed to call you, 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:16.880 So if you shout out say hi Caleb for me, 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:20.480 that'd be great. So reason is lately. 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:24.200 Sorry, go ahead, it's okay. 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:27.880 The last couple of callers you've had the last shows. 0:02:27.960 --> 0:02:30.960 There was a dude that went to a strip club 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:35.679 with his mom and a gal that was doing drugs 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:39.040 with their kids, and I'm like, oh my gosh, I 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:41.720 have both of these things with my kids. 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:46.480 M Yeah, there was a a podcast. There was there 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:48.600 There was a podcast with the kid who went to 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:50.520 the strip club with his mom. And then there was 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:53.280 that call with the girl whose mom was she was 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:54.639 going to raves with her. 0:02:56.520 --> 0:03:00.520 Yes, now I don't do the raves, but I four 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.639 twenty and I've tripped with my kids. 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:10.640 You have seven kids? When you're tripping with all seven 0:03:10.680 --> 0:03:12.680 of your kids, or you're like, oh my god, I 0:03:12.720 --> 0:03:17.600 have seven kids. These are like the doors. 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:19.840 Sometimes feels like the doors. 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:22.520 Ye, you're like snow white. 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:27.440 I've got very fair skin and very dark hair, so yeah, 0:03:27.760 --> 0:03:30.760 I just I don't like talk to birds, but I 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:33.080 have lots of cats and dogs. I could be snow white. 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:36.960 So when you say you trip with your kids, do 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:38.880 you like trip do all? Is it you and all 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:40.320 seven of them? 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:41.360 No? 0:03:41.440 --> 0:03:46.880 They very in ages. My oldest is twenty eight and 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:49.440 then I've got a twenty six year old and my 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:51.280 youngest is ten. 0:03:52.520 --> 0:03:55.920 Wow are they all from the same dude? 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:01.440 Five of them are from the same dude. But he's 0:04:01.560 --> 0:04:06.480 in prison now for the next seven years. 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:11.400 Are you still with him? 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:16.680 No? Okay, we've been, of course now for five years. 0:04:17.000 --> 0:04:24.520 Okay, So I mean I have thousands of questions for 0:04:24.640 --> 0:04:31.359 you about everything, But is there a I feel like 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:34.600 you came into this with a particular aspect that you 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:36.919 wanted to talk about, and I want to start there 0:04:37.040 --> 0:04:38.200 if if my read. 0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:42.440 Is correct, well, I can't tell if I'm a really 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:48.200 cool mom or a really bad mom. 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:50.920 M Okay, tell me. Tell me more about your thought 0:04:50.960 --> 0:04:51.760 process with this. 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:58.400 It's just it's very untraditional. I don't know of a 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:02.800 lot of other moms do the things like this with 0:05:03.000 --> 0:05:06.520 their kids, but it seems like it's really brought me 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:07.760 closer to them. 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:15.080 Give me an example of something that you can't tell 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:18.640 if this thing makes you a cool mom or a 0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:19.240 bad mom. 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:25.159 Okay, Well, like I said, my husband's in prison for 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:30.279 seven years. When he was being investigated, child Protective Services 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:34.320 had come in and removed my kids, and I've suffered 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:37.680 from a mental illness all my life, and originally they 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:40.560 were telling me I couldn't have my kids back because 0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:44.000 of that, and it took me five years, but I 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:46.000 finally got my kids back. 0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:47.960 I never gave up. 0:05:49.400 --> 0:05:54.799 So that's like what really weighs heavy on me because 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:58.000 I've lost all this time with them. I feel like 0:05:58.200 --> 0:06:01.920 I've got to get it back somehow. 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:09.440 Okay, So so to that, to that point, do you 0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:13.320 do you feel like, well, okay, so, so, like I said, 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.680 give me, give me an example of of something that 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:18.839 you do with your kids or something at all that 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:22.360 that makes you feel like where you can't tell if 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:24.360 this thing makes you feel like you're a bad mom 0:06:24.440 --> 0:06:26.159 or a cool mom. Give you give me an example 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:26.440 of some. 0:06:28.000 --> 0:06:31.599 Well, like, for instance, you know, for twenty with my kids, 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:35.520 most of them, I've let them spoke with me even 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:38.960 though you know, they're not twenty one yet at the time, 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:43.240 it's not legal here where I'm at, so I kind 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:49.920 of like and enabling them to break all. 0:06:50.839 --> 0:06:56.680 M h m hm, how will iw will like are 0:06:56.720 --> 0:06:58.240 they at least eighteen. 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:01.800 One? 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:02.000 Is? 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:04.560 Yeah, that I smoke with A is eighteen now my 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:06.640 fifteen year old, I won't let him smoke. 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:12.160 With us yet, Okay, okay, that's good. Well, I you know, 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:18.160 I don't know. I don't I don't know if there 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:24.800 is an objective sort of scoring scaling system of motherhood 0:07:26.600 --> 0:07:28.720 because well, because listen a lot. I mean it's like 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:32.080 with alcohol, right, Like, there's the theory that you know, 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:34.880 if you're the mom that lets the kids have the 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:38.280 parties in their house and you can control it and 0:07:38.360 --> 0:07:40.400 you let them do it. I mean when I'm we're 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:42.240 not even talking about teenagers. We're talking about you know, 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:44.600 you know your kids are over the age of eighteen, 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:47.160 and if you let them control it, there is the 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:50.080 theory that okay, you know, there'll be a little bit 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:57.320 less delinquency or uh you know, bad bad shit going 0:07:57.400 --> 0:07:59.920 on if you let them kind of run wild with it. 0:08:00.000 --> 0:08:02.360 At least it's in a controlled environment. That's a school 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:05.120 of thoughts. That's legitimate theory. 0:08:05.720 --> 0:08:07.800 Into it, because at least I know what they're doing 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:11.880 if they're in my house and they're not out around 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:15.800 other friends' houses doing stuff and you know, getting into 0:08:15.840 --> 0:08:18.680 trouble and winding up in prison someday themselves. 0:08:19.600 --> 0:08:21.840 Yeah, that's like I said, it's a legitimate school of 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:23.960 thought to you know, if you're having the party at 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:28.120 your house, the party's under control, and you know they're 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:32.040 not doing fucking meth or stab at each other or 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:33.560 whatever else could be going on. 0:08:35.480 --> 0:08:38.000 Exactly, you know, and hopefully you know, I can teach 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:41.640 them how to do it safely. You know, like, hey, 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:45.959 you don't take stuff from kids at school because there's 0:08:46.040 --> 0:08:48.640 metanyl going around, so you know, you do this in 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:49.400 my house, but. 0:08:49.559 --> 0:08:53.560 Nowhere else there are meth or pot. 0:08:55.400 --> 0:08:58.440 We're talking about pot. But the whole fetanyl thing, you know, 0:08:58.559 --> 0:09:00.760 has me scared. You know you have Yeah, of course 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:03.200 ask your kid for they gave you your shot and 0:09:03.240 --> 0:09:04.840 the next thing, you know, you got a dead kid. 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:10.360 Yeah yeah, well, well let's talk about let's talk about this. 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:14.959 What do you think makes somebody a good mother? 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:22.440 I wish I knew they need to have like these 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:26.040 manuals the day you find out that you're pregnant, these. 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:26.880 Dudes and don'ts. 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:32.200 But my mom is absolutely so. I've just like done 0:09:32.280 --> 0:09:34.640 everything completely opposite of what she ever did. 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:38.080 Why why if you you obviously don't have to talk 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:39.600 about anything, you know what I talk about. But why 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:40.720 is your mom horrible? 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:47.600 She has just owned me three times in the past, 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:49.920 and when she just owns me, she makes like the 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:53.800 whole entire family just own me. And the last time 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:57.520 just own me is because I'm bye. So I had 0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.679 a girlfriend and she just like, no, I'm not talking 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:03.000 to you ever again, and nobody else can either. 0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:04.640 Mm hmmm mm hm. 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:06.800 Hm. 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:10.079 So I try and be like open with my kids. 0:10:10.440 --> 0:10:14.160 Mm hm So. I mean, look, by some bye bye, 0:10:14.360 --> 0:10:18.840 by some legitimate definitions, you could say, at bare minimum 0:10:18.880 --> 0:10:25.200 a good mother probably probably probably the best most important 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:31.440 thing that you could do is give a ship and 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:35.720 clearly you and that and clearly that you do clearly 0:10:35.800 --> 0:10:40.960 the giving, be it, be it being present in your 0:10:41.080 --> 0:10:47.680 children's lives and caring about their well being is uh. 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:50.480 I mean, I think could be universally agreed upon as 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:53.240 the bare minimum of being a good mother. And it 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:58.800 sounds as though you, you, uh, very very clearly are 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:07.280 those two things, I hope. So what gives you doubts? 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:14.320 Like you said, losing my kids, you know, and like 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:17.240 even right now too, I don't have two of my 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:24.920 girls back because they were placed with my ex husband's girlfriend, 0:11:25.960 --> 0:11:28.600 and I have to pay one hundred and twenty dollars 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:32.440 a month just to see them for two hours. So 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:37.680 that really really weighs on me because I only got 0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.599 like half of them back and probably no chance of 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:42.880 getting the other two back because I don't make enough 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:45.760 money to go to court. I feel like, no matter 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:47.920 what I'm doing, I'm letting my kids down. 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:56.880 How old are the two kids that you have to 0:11:57.160 --> 0:11:58.840 what is it like you pay one hundred and twenty 0:11:58.880 --> 0:12:01.320 dollars a month in child support and then you can 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:02.479 see them. 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:07.120 It's supervised visitations. I've had supervised visitations with him for 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:08.640 the last five years. 0:12:09.080 --> 0:12:14.440 Okay, again, you don't you don't feel like you have 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:16.440 to go into any more detail than you feel comfortable 0:12:16.480 --> 0:12:22.160 going into. But do you why why is it supervised? 0:12:26.280 --> 0:12:30.120 Basically because the charges against my husband and why ex 0:12:30.200 --> 0:12:34.440 husband and why he's in federal prison was because he 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:40.960 had child porn on his computer and yeah, and with 0:12:41.600 --> 0:12:45.840 me having a mental illness there they I don't know. 0:12:45.880 --> 0:12:49.640 I just felt like CPS was against me from day one. 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:52.959 And I don't know if being half gay has anything 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.720 to do with it. Because during one of my visits 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:59.400 is here, we had bedbugs and the boys had went 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:01.080 to go in the back bedroom and I told them, no, 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:03.520 you can't go in there because I didn't want them 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.640 taking the bed bugs to their foster family. So it 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:11.480 was wrote down on the report that I had sexual 0:13:11.520 --> 0:13:17.840 paraphernalia in my bedroom. What out like, Yeah, seriously. 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:23.920 Oh my god. Well, first of all, look, I I 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:27.880 mean fucking Jesus Christ, I mean shadow that for for 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:31.120 your for the father of your children to be arrested 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:34.480 for that, and then you having to pick up the 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:39.640 pieces I mean, I hope, I hope, I hope you 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:44.360 can recognize that that's a lot. It is. 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:47.520 It's been a nightmare trying to get them back. 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:50.520 Mm hmmm mm hmmm. 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:55.200 Gone everywhere. I can go to three lawyers to try 0:13:55.200 --> 0:13:58.240 and get help. There's not enough money in the state. Callers. 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:00.920 You know, my mom, and he was telling me call 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:02.319 doctor Phil, call doctor Phill. 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:03.440 I don't want to call doctor Phil. 0:14:03.960 --> 0:14:04.959 Don't call doctor Phil. 0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:08.520 He's a real sayer. 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:12.440 I'm sorry, I have no idea what you just said. 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:15.280 But uh, apparently I don't know anything about doctor Phil. 0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:19.600 But okay, well, so listen, if we could go back 0:14:19.600 --> 0:14:22.440 for a second to this, this this wrestling with whether 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:28.560 or not you're a good mother, I guess if we 0:14:28.600 --> 0:14:30.520 could take a second to understand the fact that, like 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:38.320 you're trying to be a good mother in a crazy circumstance. Yes, 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:44.680 I mean you're you're like, like you know, somebody who's 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:49.120 who's whose husband? Uh, the father of the children was not, 0:14:50.040 --> 0:14:53.840 you know, arrested for something like that. Uh. It would 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:56.800 also be struggling to be a mother because, as you say, 0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:59.640 there is no handbook to do it, and so you're 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:04.040 taking the thing that is already incredibly difficult, and is 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:10.880 you know, in this situation like ten times more difficult. 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:14.560 So I hope you recognize that you're you know, you're 0:15:14.600 --> 0:15:17.400 you're you're up against you you're doing the best you 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:23.760 can going up against a lot. And also I'm sure 0:15:23.800 --> 0:15:32.080 that that was fucking crazy hard on your kids and 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:36.560 for you to be there for them in the face 0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:40.000 of all of that. I mean, I hope you can 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:41.320 give yourself some credit for that. 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:47.960 I'm trying to. But I've made a lot of bad decisions, 0:15:48.000 --> 0:15:51.560 like being with this a hole in the first place. 0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:55.560 You know, it makes you wonder like your decision making skill. 0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:57.160 I mean, if I wasn't with him, I wouldn't have 0:15:57.200 --> 0:15:59.760 five of my kids. So I'm glad now that I was. 0:16:00.160 --> 0:16:05.840 But you know, my first husband, I found him in 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:07.840 bed with his twelve year old cousin when we were 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:10.840 in Kentucky. It's like, what and the hell why do 0:16:10.520 --> 0:16:11.800 I He's. 0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:18.040 Meant, Jesus Christ, are you with anyone now? 0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:20.560 No? 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:20.960 I'm not. 0:16:21.840 --> 0:16:27.920 Okay, Okay, tell me more about like this, your like 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:31.680 living situation. Do you do you? You have five kids 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:33.080 and how many of them still live with you? 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:38.400 Technically three of them do. My twenty six year old 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:41.440 Caleb had moved in with me about six months ago. 0:16:42.240 --> 0:16:45.680 And I have one son who's eighteen that lives with me. 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:47.720 He's still in high school. And I have my fifteen 0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:48.400 year old son. 0:16:49.360 --> 0:16:57.520 Okay, hmm. And what are the kids who are out 0:16:57.520 --> 0:16:59.400 in the world, what do they do? Do they go 0:16:59.480 --> 0:17:02.720 to school or have jobs? 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:06.440 Caleb has a job. Yeah, and he just recently got 0:17:06.480 --> 0:17:10.439 into a new relationship, which is really great because he 0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:15.240 was heartbroken over a friendship that just didn't work out right. 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:19.159 And like I said, the eighteen year old is still 0:17:19.320 --> 0:17:23.560 is sophomore in high school, no junior, and you know, 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:25.600 so we got a year and a half more before 0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:32.120 he graduates. My one daughter, she's twenty something. She's mad 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:35.040 at me and won't talk to me. But she's going 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:36.800 to school to be a therapist herself. 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:37.919 Okay. 0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:42.679 And I was going to college a therapist, but I 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:47.240 decided I don't like people, so I quit. 0:17:47.080 --> 0:17:51.080 By the way, I should have brought this up earlier 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.040 in this conversation that I am doing right now. But 0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:56.720 have you had the ability to see a real therapist 0:17:56.840 --> 0:17:58.119 to talk about all of this stuff? 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:00.000 Yeah? 0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:03.080 I have been in therapy almost for the last ten 0:18:03.080 --> 0:18:04.440 to fifteen years. 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:08.880 Okay, I'm very curious what I mean. This is a ton. 0:18:08.960 --> 0:18:10.840 I mean, this is a ton of just totally fucked 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:16.080 up stuff. I'm very curious. What is your real therapist 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:21.239 told you or helped you with or how have what 0:18:21.280 --> 0:18:24.119 has their feedback been in regards to all the stuff 0:18:24.119 --> 0:18:25.760 that we're talking about. 0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:31.480 Well, she has been great. There's been times where I've 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:34.880 called her and I'm just like, I can't breathe. I 0:18:34.960 --> 0:18:38.760 feel like I'm coming apart at the scenes. I can't 0:18:39.480 --> 0:18:44.760 do this anymore. And she was always very sympathetic, like, yeah, 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:49.240 you know, this is very fucked up, and you can 0:18:49.280 --> 0:18:51.359 do it. I got a tattoo on my arm that 0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:57.280 has just breathe now. But she's been great every step 0:18:57.280 --> 0:19:02.000 of the way. Has cried with me. Is called GPS's 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:05.560 lawyer to say, hey, you know this, shiit ain't right. 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:10.159 And the day that I gave up and decided, you 0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:13.040 know what, I'm never going to get my kids back, 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:16.639 and that's okay because I can still be a mom 0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:22.200 and I can parent them from AFAR. Suicide is not 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:25.159 an option because it's going to be so much worse 0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:28.320 on them. A week later, it was around Mother's Day 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:30.800 and my birthday. I got to call my son, my 0:19:31.400 --> 0:19:34.639 who's now eighteen year old son. Then he was fifteen? 0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:36.560 Who is coming home? 0:19:38.720 --> 0:19:39.160 Sixteen? 0:19:39.920 --> 0:19:44.119 No? So she was great on, you know, keeping me 0:19:44.320 --> 0:19:48.280 going and just giving me somebody to talk to. 0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:53.399 Who are you with? By the way, I here's somebody talking. 0:19:55.040 --> 0:19:56.359 That's my eighteen year old. 0:19:57.960 --> 0:20:02.520 Yeah, the one that showed you my show. 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:06.919 No, that one is at work. But but yeah, you 0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:08.120 could talk to the eighteen year old. 0:20:08.359 --> 0:20:12.520 Yeah, let me talk to him. 0:20:13.400 --> 0:20:16.400 This is Aiden, the eighteen year old. 0:20:17.200 --> 0:20:24.560 Hi Aiden? How you doing, man? Hi Aiden? How you doing? 0:20:24.640 --> 0:20:24.840 Man? 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:29.480 I'm good. I'm hanging out with my mother and I'm 0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:31.520 just freaking out that she's talking to you. 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:34.560 Why are you freaking out? 0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:38.440 Because something like this never happens to us? Basically? 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:40.440 Soundn't like what. 0:20:43.200 --> 0:20:49.439 Talking to somebody live? Basically Yeah, because I'm always in 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:53.280 my womb watching YouTube or TikTok or whatever, and I'm 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:58.359 always daydreaming about meeting someone with like a channel and 0:20:58.440 --> 0:20:58.879 I get it. 0:21:01.320 --> 0:21:05.520 Mm hmm. Well uh well, Aiden, it's it's nice to 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:06.080 meet you too. 0:21:06.160 --> 0:21:06.400 Man. 0:21:07.200 --> 0:21:09.359 What what are you? What are you into? A? Are you? 0:21:09.440 --> 0:21:09.520 Like? 0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:12.520 Are you in fucking are you in college or like, 0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:13.120 what do you? 0:21:13.760 --> 0:21:14.119 What do you? 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:15.200 What do you do with your life? 0:21:17.040 --> 0:21:20.439 Well, right now, as my mom previous said, I'm in 0:21:20.560 --> 0:21:23.040 high school and I have this year and then next 0:21:23.119 --> 0:21:27.640 year to finish, and I'm looking at bugger king at 0:21:27.640 --> 0:21:33.119 the moment, it's all right. It's moments and the things 0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:37.760 I really like. Oh, fin Nights of thready. It's a 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:38.920 hood game. If you don't know. 0:21:40.119 --> 0:21:40.359 Mh. 0:21:41.760 --> 0:21:44.480 I'm familiar with five. I've never played it because I'm 0:21:44.560 --> 0:21:48.560 I don't like jump scares and stuff, but I'm familiar 0:21:48.640 --> 0:21:48.879 with it. 0:21:50.160 --> 0:21:53.480 Yeah, I mean neither, but I absolutely love the story 0:21:53.520 --> 0:21:55.600 they're going with and I can't wait until the movie 0:21:55.640 --> 0:21:56.040 comes out. 0:21:56.520 --> 0:21:59.200 Well, you've never played it, but you you said it's 0:21:59.200 --> 0:22:00.320 one of the things you're in too. 0:22:02.000 --> 0:22:05.160 Test. Actually, yes, But I do have this newer one 0:22:05.200 --> 0:22:08.840 for the PlayStation over there. I played it the other 0:22:08.920 --> 0:22:12.720 day m hm. But the games I haven't played. I 0:22:12.800 --> 0:22:13.720 just played the newer one. 0:22:14.040 --> 0:22:15.400 He doesn't like the jump scares? 0:22:15.600 --> 0:22:19.800 Yeah, boy, do that doesn't doesn't the newer one have? 0:22:19.920 --> 0:22:22.879 The newer one probably has like more intense jump scares, 0:22:22.920 --> 0:22:23.280 does it not? 0:22:25.520 --> 0:22:26.920 Sometimes it depends? 0:22:28.560 --> 0:22:31.640 Okay, what what else? What else do you like. 0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:38.479 Well, as I said, I anything with a good storyline. Lately, 0:22:38.680 --> 0:22:41.840 me and my younger brother been playing some Foot Night 0:22:42.640 --> 0:22:45.600 and uh, I hate to admit it, but I spent 0:22:45.720 --> 0:22:48.959 a lot of money on that game, which Bobby's going 0:22:49.040 --> 0:22:52.080 to die in twenty years or so. Then I have 0:22:52.200 --> 0:22:54.800 the whole entire collection of I say, he's the wrong 0:22:54.840 --> 0:23:01.520 bunch of events with one sign book and a photo 0:23:01.600 --> 0:23:06.200 of Tim signing it of Lemony Snickets. 0:23:06.640 --> 0:23:08.800 Lemony Snicket, you have a way you have a photo 0:23:08.840 --> 0:23:11.280 of Lemony Snicket signing your Lemony Snicket book. 0:23:13.200 --> 0:23:17.119 Yes, nice, and he doesn't like the photos taken, so 0:23:17.160 --> 0:23:18.040 it's pretty rare. 0:23:18.760 --> 0:23:22.240 That's great. That's so crazy man, Lemony Snicket. It's cool. 0:23:22.280 --> 0:23:25.600 He's still doing his thing. Lemony Snickett was fuck? When 0:23:25.640 --> 0:23:28.320 did that? When did that? When was I reading that? Ship? 0:23:28.400 --> 0:23:28.639 That was? 0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:31.840 Like that movie came out when I was in elementary school. 0:23:32.400 --> 0:23:35.800 I will on a letter to Netflix try and trying 0:23:35.840 --> 0:23:39.720 to get them to put the series on DVD so 0:23:39.760 --> 0:23:42.880 I could collect them, because I'm a big collector. 0:23:45.560 --> 0:23:49.600 What do you what all do you collect? Well? 0:23:49.920 --> 0:23:53.360 Right now I have a whole bunch of action figures 0:23:53.359 --> 0:23:59.280 of financial rereadys. I'm missing a couple. I have four 0:23:59.480 --> 0:24:07.200 different action figures of AVATARLL. I have a go To 0:24:07.440 --> 0:24:12.200 Action figure and a foot Night Action figure, and then 0:24:12.240 --> 0:24:14.840