WEBVTT - "Game Night" w/ Taylor Ortega 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:22.800 Podcast starts. Now, what is up everyone around the globe? 0:00:22.840 --> 0:00:25.520 You're listening to Stradia Lab from New York City. 0:00:25.480 --> 0:00:27.080 And I just want to say I was silencing my phone. 0:00:27.120 --> 0:00:29.040 That's why my finger was briefly on my phone. I 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:32.320 wasn't quickly, you know, sending an email George. 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:34.760 No one's close watching our podcast. I have to be honest. 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:38.200 I was actually more apologizing. Interesting, interesting that you are. 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:41.640 You think I'm addressing our listeners. I'm actually so embodied, 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:43.519 and in the moment, I was just apologizing to my 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:44.840 two friends that are with me in the room. 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:46.400 Okay, Well, I'm going to look at my phone to 0:00:46.440 --> 0:00:47.760 sort of what the hell time it is? 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:48.800 Oh, okay, so that I. 0:00:48.720 --> 0:00:50.920 Can sort of moving forward, know what time we're working 0:00:50.960 --> 0:00:53.720 with you, so if anyone's mad, if anyone's watching, I'm 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:55.960 either in this room or at home. That's why I 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:56.600 just see my phone. 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:59.880 One of the most stressful things for me is it 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:02.800 when we were on tour, like two years ago. Sometimes 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:04.880 you would be like, can you keep track of the time? 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.679 And I knew that I needed to look at my 0:01:08.720 --> 0:01:11.319 watch while we were on stage, but I could not 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:14.520 do it subtly. So the people in the audience looked 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:18.120 at me looking at my watch while performing, which I 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:20.679 think is like a It's like it's already rude to 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:23.840 do that just interpersonally, but to be a professional performer, 0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:27.240 be on stage and fully look at your watch is 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:30.600 maybe legendary status. 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:31.759 I don't think it's that bad. 0:01:31.959 --> 0:01:32.600 You don't, okay. 0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:34.679 I think looking at your watch is like reasonable, like 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:37.160 you actually know what time it is. Well, we're ripping 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:37.679 up there. 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.200 Looking at your watch. It's never actually rude. Sometimes you 0:01:42.240 --> 0:01:43.640 really do just want to know what time it is, 0:01:43.680 --> 0:01:46.319 but it has the reputation of being like, you know, 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:47.840 like ripping a fart or something. 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:49.760 I think it's like it's like yawning a little bit. 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:51.800 It's like yawning while someone's talking, and it's kind of 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:54.920 like I'm not bored. I'm like literally tired. Has nothing 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:59.160 to do with you. Okay, you're I'm tired all the time. 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:02.000 That the natural, the way you entered the conversation will 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:03.160 be studied for millennia. 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:05.520 By the way, I don't even know what. 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:08.760 Because because we you know, our bit normally would be 0:02:08.880 --> 0:02:10.320 to yell at you and be like it's not you know, 0:02:10.400 --> 0:02:12.359 we haven't brought you in yet. And that would become 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:15.520 a whole you know, it's hilarious. People love when we yell, 0:02:15.560 --> 0:02:17.680 like guests like yell. Love when we get combative. People 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:19.480 say we miss it, like you guys are being too 0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:21.160 nice these days. You know, we have all these A 0:02:21.200 --> 0:02:23.400 listers on and we have to get back to our 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:26.760 roots of sort of berating our friends. Yeah, but the 0:02:26.800 --> 0:02:32.280 way you entered immediately contributed something seemly were the conversation. 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:34.160 I was like, it feels wrong to y I know, 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:34.960 it felt really wrong. 0:02:35.000 --> 0:02:39.080 You can yell. I love yelling, and I don't feel 0:02:39.120 --> 0:02:39.919 sensitive about it. 0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:42.799 Yells at me, No, do you even yelling family? 0:02:42.840 --> 0:02:46.240 I come from a yelling family, yelling house. I've really 0:02:46.280 --> 0:02:49.320 had to learn that yelling is not appropriate because I 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:50.760 don't think it's a big deal. But then it's like 0:02:50.800 --> 0:02:52.840 some people, like when I had when I learned about tone, 0:02:53.840 --> 0:02:56.240 like two years ago, I was it like, really blew 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:56.640 my mind? 0:02:56.840 --> 0:02:58.840 What made you learn about tone? 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:02.000 Like meeting people from the Midwest, Yes, that'll do it. 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:05.480 When I moved to LA, I met people from the Midwest, 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:08.799 and I felt misread every once in a while, and 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:10.400 because they would be like, well, I don't want to 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:14.840 argue and I'd be like, I'm agreeing with you. We agree. 0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:18.920 I'm like enjoying this conversation a lot. And I realized 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:22.080 that they that some yeah, or I dated someone who 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:23.519 I guess would yell at me a lot, but I 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:26.720 never noticed. And someone was like, she's yelling at you, 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:29.280 and I'm like, oh, I don't care. I think it's funny. Yeah, 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:31.480 she's literally she's literally hilarious. 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:34.640 And you're like, oh, are you Italian. 0:03:34.680 --> 0:03:38.480 I'm like, she's like up in arms, like it's funny. Yeah. 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:40.160 I would say the two people that have made me 0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:44.680 really question my tone are Midwestern like sort of midwestern 0:03:44.760 --> 0:03:48.840 nice people, and then honestly British people, because sometimes with 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:53.080 British people they will be so passive aggressive, but it's 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:56.320 like in their blood they're not trying to be rude. Right. 0:03:56.880 --> 0:04:01.520 One time, I was taking the sort of oral exam 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:07.280 academic not medical, and the examiner was British valid and 0:04:08.000 --> 0:04:09.760 I was living in Greece at the time, where I 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:11.840 went to high school. And I enter the room and 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:14.640 I think I'm speaking normally and she goes sort of 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:17.480 very quietly, Like something I've noticed in Greece is everyone's 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:22.440 really loud like clearly implying that I am being loud 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:23.400 upon entering the room. 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:26.479 Can you imagine that that's really hard as I'm yelling 0:04:26.520 --> 0:04:28.280 into the microphone, that's really hard. 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:30.680 I'm sorry that happened to you. It sounds like you 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:34.120 were microaggressed full I was macroaggress I would say. 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:36.160 Yeah, I would have a hard time. I would be 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:38.760 thinking about that feedback, if you can even call it 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:40.039 that sort of the whole time. 0:04:40.040 --> 0:04:41.720 I wouldas then I would I had to go into 0:04:41.760 --> 0:04:42.560 the oral exam. 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:44.360 Horrible, horrible, horrifying. 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:47.679 I learned over the last year of working a job 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:50.720 that you're not allowed You're not saying rad thank you, 0:04:50.720 --> 0:04:53.080 You're not supposed to yawn in meetings. I've learned that 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:55.480 people get so upset when you're yawning while they're talking 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:57.159 in meetings, and it's like this is boring. 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:59.760 Wait, but like with your normal like coat, with like 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:00.520 a group. 0:05:00.279 --> 0:05:03.239 Of co workers, Yeah, with the big wigs or with 0:05:03.440 --> 0:05:06.320 either yeah, either way, people are saying, Sam, stop yawning. 0:05:06.440 --> 0:05:09.840 You know he actually have to do nod constantly. This 0:05:09.880 --> 0:05:10.440 is what you have to do. 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:14.360 I meant, does that stop you from yawning or. 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:17.000 Just no, it's just it makes it makes you seem 0:05:17.040 --> 0:05:19.320 like you're agreeing with And actually sometimes I'll see it 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:21.280 because people do it and it's very phony. Sometimes I'll 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:23.240 see someone not the entire time I'm saying something, and 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:25.640 then when they actually speak up, it's to fully disagree 0:05:25.680 --> 0:05:27.800 with me, but they're doing it in such a kind way. 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.600 Yeah. I like when you're talking to someone and they 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:34.919 have that tick where they're mouthing the words yes with you, 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:37.440 I'm sort of like, I know, it seems like you're 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:39.600 actively listening, but you're feel like. 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:44.160 And similarly, when someone starts nodding before you make a point, 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:45.960 like you'll say something like you'll be like you know 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:48.280 the thing is and they are already yon and you're 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:51.799 like yeah or already nodding. You're like no, no, no, Now, 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:54.520 even if you keep nodding, I will know you're lying. 0:05:54.880 --> 0:05:57.320 I had a friend that would literally finish every sentence 0:05:57.720 --> 0:06:00.240 like and like would kind of get it wrong, like 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:02.400 just wait for me to say it and then you 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:05.080 can then you can respond honestly, be like, I can't 0:06:05.080 --> 0:06:06.200 hang out this person anymore. 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:10.000 They're struggling to focus looking for a word, and someone 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:14.640 jumps in and they're like and they're like reifi, You're like, no, no, 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:18.200 I'm performing being like an intellectual who is looking for 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:19.800 a word. I know what I want to say. 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:21.840 If I could just pick a word, really nilly, I 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:24.200 would have picked a word. Willy nilly about what word? 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:28.200 And I'm thinking hard, like I'm trying hard to grip 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:31.520 on my thought. Yeah, as and if you say one thing, 0:06:31.600 --> 0:06:33.320 it's gone and it could have been important. 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:35.320 It's also that never that word is not going to 0:06:35.360 --> 0:06:38.440 be provoked. It's going to be something more sophisticated than provoked. 0:06:38.440 --> 0:06:40.880 I'm like, I know the word provoke, That's what I'm 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:46.679 looking Insight. No, that's equally that's actually equally basic. 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:48.919 Oh my god, I can't believe George just said in sight. 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.800 Yeah, what's it? But you know, like there's a group 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:54.120 of words. There's a group of verbs. Okay, bear with me, 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:57.640 and I think provoke and insight are two of them. Yeah, 0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:01.680 and they all mean some version of like one thing 0:07:01.680 --> 0:07:07.000 comes after the other provoke, insight, instigate, Yeah, don't you 0:07:07.000 --> 0:07:09.440 think like and then they are used almost interchangeably, but 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:09.800 it's just. 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:11.600 Kind of syn andyms sort of. 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:13.520 But not but they're not exactly symtems. Don't you think 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:15.640 like instigate and provoke or not. But it's like you 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:19.200 house how like how you use them is almost like 0:07:19.320 --> 0:07:22.680 a power move to show how much it's like using 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:26.760 the word dichotomy correctly. It's like even using the word 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:28.080 perform one. 0:07:28.000 --> 0:07:30.400 Of my comfort it's it's a real comfort. 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:31.960 It's a real and I. 0:07:31.880 --> 0:07:35.680 Have some comfort vocab words. And my mom has a 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:38.000 really good vocabulary and uses a lot of like weird 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:41.480 words I would say, and so I definitely have my 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:44.600 comfort vocab words. And every now and then someone be like, okay, 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:47.360 like you really use that word, and I'm like, well, 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:48.240 what do you want me to do? 0:07:48.400 --> 0:07:49.800 Like sorry, to shake it up. 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:50.280 A little bit. 0:07:52.040 --> 0:07:52.600 More from the world. 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:58.080 Perpetuate pet that's. 0:07:57.920 --> 0:08:02.960 An important one. That sound also sort of like not condescending, 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:07.920 but you can sound sort of like or like kind 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:09.920 of holier than now, Like it's like I wouldn't want 0:08:09.920 --> 0:08:12.360 to propetal exactly because you're you're mostly trying not to 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:13.800 being yourself. 0:08:14.120 --> 0:08:16.920 If you are pro perpetuation, you hate to leave. Look 0:08:16.920 --> 0:08:19.760 in the mirror, you're literally Donald Trump, don't perpetuate. 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:21.440 I hate perpetuate. 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:23.160 I say, walk out the door on are my pet 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:24.120 peeves perpetuating. 0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:27.720 Same, I'm against, but then sometimes I'm doing it. 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:31.040 And that's what you. Knowing that you know your superpower. 0:08:31.280 --> 0:08:32.200 Yeah, and that's exactly. 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:32.320 No. 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:36.120 Perpetuating and knowing that you're perpetuating is a superpower. Yeah, 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:37.920 and that's the topic. Good mind, you love to stop, 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:40.040 don't hate perpetually, hate perpetuate. 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:42.800 I have a confession though. My ear has not popped 0:08:42.800 --> 0:08:45.320 since the airplane last night. That's tough. And this has 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:47.120 never happened to me in my life. It feels like 0:08:47.160 --> 0:08:49.560 I'm wearing headphones and it's crazy. 0:08:49.840 --> 0:08:54.000 And you've you've tried pulling, You've tried blowing, You've tried blowing. 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:55.000 I've not tried pulling. 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:57.960 Sometimes I up pull the ears like themselves. 0:08:58.080 --> 0:08:58.440 I don't. 0:08:58.480 --> 0:08:59.679 I don't know if you can blow and pull the 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:02.400 same time. But the poll feels good. Sometimes does at 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:03.040 least feel. 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:05.200 Good to pull. It actually feels amazing. Yeah yeah, but 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:07.440 then it doesn't happen fully. That's the pulling is like 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:09.040 brief relief. 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:10.800 Yeah, you have to hold it down. 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:13.520 Yeah, yeah, you have to just play. Hey, guys, welcome 0:09:13.559 --> 0:09:17.440 to my wedding like I do. Buddy, how's it going? Yeah? 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:19.440 Should we we should talk about what we were talking 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:19.920 about before. 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:25.319 Obviously, also please welcome tailor so much. 0:09:26.520 --> 0:09:29.280 So, we were talking about how I'm getting gay married 0:09:29.280 --> 0:09:30.199 this weekend. 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:32.840 And in fact, by the time you the listener are 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:34.280 listening to this, Sam will be married. 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:38.080 Yeah. But we were talking about how there's a flood 0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:42.320 of gay wedding which we don't know if that's is 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:44.080 that a trendler or are we just a different age. 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:47.400 I think I have no idea. I well, oh no, 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.640 my brain went to a crazy place. Well, okay, so 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:53.320 I don't know if how online y'all are or whatever. 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:55.560 But like, like a lot of the lesbian pop stars 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:56.120 are like. 0:09:56.600 --> 0:09:57.400 In becoming straight. 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:01.640 Yeah, they're becoming straight, and in some ways it feels gay. 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:04.160 Joe just hit me straight and in some ways it 0:10:04.240 --> 0:10:08.760 feels totally trad Fletcher, But like they're becoming straight. And 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:11.120 I do wonder if it's like if there's no possible 0:10:11.160 --> 0:10:13.560 way for you to become straight, if like kind of 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:15.600 being like we'll do some of the Yeah. 0:10:15.440 --> 0:10:18.560 Yeah, getting married is gig guy version of becoming straight. 0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:20.280 Yeah, that's such a good point. 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:24.200 Participating like family, come see it, you can come see it. 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:27.120 I come see see it. And they're gonna love that 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:28.080 they're seeing it. 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:29.960 Yeah, they really Damn it's really like that. 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:34.280 Yeah. Well there's also a way in which thirties are 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:38.480 twenties for the LGBTQ plus community of course. So all 0:10:38.559 --> 0:10:43.120 these milestones, not just marriage, but like deciding to focus 0:10:43.120 --> 0:10:45.640 on your career. Straight people have been doing that at 0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:48.080 like twenty four, right, they're saying, I'm going to open 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:48.840 that bank account. 0:10:49.600 --> 0:10:51.760 Yeah, you don't think hitting the open MIC's hard? Was 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:52.760 focusing on your career? 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:53.600 Well that's the thing. 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:59.160 Yeah, well well no, that's more chasing your dreams and 0:10:59.240 --> 0:11:01.040 chasing your dreams and becausing on your career people think 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:03.840 are the same thing, but they're diametric. 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:06.040 Thank you for not perpetuating that. 0:11:07.200 --> 0:11:09.840 Yeah, no way, you had a chance to perpetuate and 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:10.560 you opted not to. 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:14.960 I didn't want to. I didn't feel right. Wow, I 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:17.000 do think you're way too young to get married. 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:18.040 No, you're a child bride. 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:22.880 You're way too When you said that, I was like, no, right, yeah, 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:23.280 there is. 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:27.319 Also it's one thing that I'm it's the big thing 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.400 with gay marriage too, is it's like every gay guy 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:31.760 on earth is in an open relationship. Yes, so there 0:11:31.840 --> 0:11:34.319 is like the weight is different in a way that 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:36.720 I'm like, I'm not sure how to like grapple. Like 0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:40.040 the normal language around a wedding is sort of like 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:42.040 confusing to apply. 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:48.240 Yes, what do you say? It's both it's paradoxical, not 0:11:48.280 --> 0:11:52.120 to perpetuate using the term paradoxical. So on the one hand, 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:54.120 it is quote unquote less of a big deal to 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:57.199 get married if you're open, because you're not actually changing 0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:01.280 anything about your behavior. On the other hand, considering marriage 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:03.400 is like not a necessary thing for you to do. 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:06.240 It's a bigger deal because you could just as well 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:08.679 not do it, So it's a real like choice, you 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:11.800 know what I mean. Sure, So that I think is 0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:14.200 what's sort of confusing about it. Everyone like is there 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:15.880 at the wedding and doesn't know how big of a 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:16.360 deal it is. 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:20.400 Yeah, you know what I mean. Well, if they're straight, 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.199 that they should be assuming it's a just as big 0:12:23.240 --> 0:12:23.560 a deal. 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:27.320 But even gay people will be like congrass. Yeah, So 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:29.960 do you guys like want kids? Is that what you're doing? Like, 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:31.800 tell me why is it like a tax thing? 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:32.400 Yeah? 0:12:32.760 --> 0:12:36.200 I mean it's probably feels like absolutely amazing to be 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:39.800 like my husband, this my husband that you know, I think, yeah. 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:42.439 That rocks. Do you romanticize that? 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:47.040 I never ever did in my whole life, And I 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.480 guess I still don't. Like this is horrible, but that 0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:52.840 when I think of a wedding for myself, I'm just like, oh, 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:54.800 that sounds like I can't plan a trip. I'm gonna 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.800 plan a wedding Like that does sound really daunting and 0:12:57.880 --> 0:13:01.920 like crazy. But when I just think about if I 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:04.040 think about, like, okay, me and my partner, like the 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.960 very moment getting married, like that's sweet. I'd romanticize that 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:10.160 with the like individual person, yes, But when I try 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:15.600 to make it practical in my mind, I go, oh. 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:16.839 Well, it's in terms of the trip comparison. I think 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:18.600 it's easier to plan a wedding than a trip because 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:21.439 it's where you live, like pick your favorite bar, right, 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:21.880 You're done. 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:23.840 Well. It's also it's more like a solo show than 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:24.240 a trip. 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:27.480 Okay, yeah, I mean unless you're doing like yeah, if 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:30.520 you're getting married on the Amalfi Coast, like absolutely, that's 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:32.520 going to be hard to go ahead and be talk. Yeah, 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:34.880 I wouldn't even know where it began to be. I 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:37.439 was like no one to recommend No, I didn't know 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:39.480 the right venue. Yeah, I don't. I don't know anything 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:39.760 about it. 0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:43.640 I would rather die than go to the Mafee coast 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:45.920 and get like married at like a venue like everyone's like, oh, 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:49.040 it's so like tired, like that place is so bad before. 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:50.200 You leaves, and she looks exactly like you. 0:13:50.440 --> 0:13:54.520 Yeah, she seems more basic, like I look basic right now, 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:55.680 but like actually my life I'm cool. 0:13:56.800 --> 0:14:00.000 So that was really really painful. I you said something though, 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:02.920 that was interesting, which is like the idea that we 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:06.480 would want to say the phrase my husband. Here's my 0:14:06.600 --> 0:14:10.160 take on that. I think the only appropriate phrasing of 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.880 my husband or my wife is a woman saying my wife. 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:16.720 That is the only time I don't I'm serious, That 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:19.200 is the only time I don't cringe because got it. 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:21.480 Straight woman saying my husband, I'm like, you're trapped. 0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:23.640 I literally get a little nervous. 0:14:23.680 --> 0:14:26.120 Straight guy saying my wife, I'm like, don't talk about 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:26.520 her like that. 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:27.640 Yeah. 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:30.240 Hey, guys saying my husband, I'm like, are you Republican? 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:31.120 Yeah? 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:33.560 But a woman saying my wife, You're like, finally I 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:34.720 feel safe for me. 0:14:34.800 --> 0:14:37.040 It's like I'm wanting to like code switch when I 0:14:37.080 --> 0:14:41.240 say boyfriend and husband, because like, say I'm in if 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:45.040 I'm with like like people at this job, for example, 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:48.880 who aren't like comedians, like more exec types, I want 0:14:48.880 --> 0:14:51.200 to be like my husband so they're like, oh you're 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:51.720 not just something. 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:53.840 Yeah, yeah totally. 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:55.720 And then like or like in a hospital, I want 0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:57.240 to be like, this is my husband, so it's like 0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:58.720 you have to take him seriously. 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:02.080 But with my girls, I want to be like, this 0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:02.840 is my boyfriend. 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:07.160 Yeah, any second, of course I'm young, I'm. 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:09.600 Then I will say, you'll notice this after you get married. 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:12.640 You just like simply can't say my boyfriend because it's inaccurate. 0:15:13.040 --> 0:15:15.400 You just like, can't you have to do partner or something. 0:15:15.440 --> 0:15:16.080 It's my guy? 0:15:16.280 --> 0:15:18.640 It would yeah, Like it feels so crazy to say 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:21.240 my boyfriend. And so what I have ended up doing 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:25.600 is like unintentionally almost rolling my eyes while saying my husband. 0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:29.240 Every time people like do you not like him? I'm like, no, 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:32.280 like I love him, but you know, a husband. 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:34.120 I don't know. 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:39.240 When I was like seven, the idea of saying my boyfriend, like, 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:40.760 I'm like, some day I'm going to say my boyfriend 0:15:40.760 --> 0:15:42.120 and I'm going to be like forty like you when 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:43.400 you're a little kid and you have no idea what 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:45.800 age is. I just thought the most adult thing you 0:15:45.840 --> 0:15:47.000 could do is have a boyfriend. 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:47.880 Yeah, totally. 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.320 Not even husband didn't even cross my mind. I was like, 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.600 imagine a woman with a boyfriend like that is just 0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:54.960 so classy. 0:15:55.120 --> 0:15:57.400 Here's a question for you. You meet a woman she's 0:15:57.440 --> 0:16:00.640 fifty five, Yeah, she says, my boyfriend, what are you thinking? 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:06.240 You know what am I thinking? I really think it 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.640 really depends on what I think, totally it is because 0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:14.640 I know if she parties, I'm sort of like, you've 0:16:14.680 --> 0:16:17.320 never been married, or you've been married like five times. 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:20.320 It's like one of the other. Yeah, my boy, it 0:16:20.480 --> 0:16:22.760 really Yeah, it depends on where, what city she lives in, 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:24.960 what kind of shoes she's wearing. 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:28.480 It's a friend on your own biases and misogyny and 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:32.120 like because sometimes, like we're talking about gray hair, Yeah, 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:36.360 sometimes you see someone with gray hair and without realizing it, 0:16:36.400 --> 0:16:39.760 you're having ageous thoughts. It's the same with a fifty 0:16:39.760 --> 0:16:42.280 five year old woman saying boyfriend. Suddenly you don't even 0:16:42.320 --> 0:16:44.040 realize that you're like spinster Spencer war. 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:51.040 Don't tell anyone stuff like that. Give that to yourself. 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:57.440 I have obviously always wanted to ironically use the word husbar. 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:00.400 I think that is one of the funniest. 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:01.840 Like you're introducing that to me. 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:05.320 No, I love that that is it's one of those 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:07.280 rms that only exists in Instagram captions. 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:10.959 Yes, exactly. So what type of gay person would you use? 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:13.439 So like a bear like visiting Dallas would be like 0:17:13.520 --> 0:17:16.639 I had the most amazing time with the husbar in Dallas. 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:19.960 Okay, okay, and but then okay, but. 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:22.840 They live in Atlanta. But yeah, they live in Atlanta. 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:23.920 They're visiting Dallas. 0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:27.200 Is your husband? Will your husband be a hus bear? 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:30.280 Technically not a little bear? A little bears. 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:34.679 It's interesting because you know Sam is known for loving bears. 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:37.840 It's true. Okay, I would say your husband is not 0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:39.960 like textbook definition. 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:44.000 No, he he he transcends category. 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:44.919 He does transcend. 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:48.479 He's sort of a he's a larger twink. We called 0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:51.480 him because he's hairless and a bear. 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:53.520 Usually thank you for the elephant in the room. Is 0:17:53.520 --> 0:17:54.480