Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Gig.
Speaker 3: I don't even know where to start with you and
Speaker 3: I because I feel like, fuck Kevin Bacon. It's like
Speaker 3: six degrees of GG and Tory. We have so many
Speaker 3: common denominators and links throughout the years that it's wild.
Speaker 1: We really do have so many connections, Like we have
Speaker 1: so many commonalities. We know so many similar people, so
Speaker 1: many similar circles. But I think base to base, like
Speaker 1: in person hanging out with you and I. It's only
Speaker 1: been like once or twice fourteen years ago with.
Speaker 2: My star or something like that.
Speaker 3: Okay, so for everyone out there, let's go back through
Speaker 3: our history. So I met you originally because my son Liam,
Speaker 3: our preschool that we went to, we started in the
Speaker 3: toddler program, so he was like, I don't know, young,
Speaker 3: like sixteen months and it.
Speaker 2: Was a whole new world for me.
Speaker 3: I was like a new mom, and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna make mom friends and this is my new
Speaker 3: chapter of my life. And your sister Laila was the
Speaker 3: first friend I made. Oh nice, and her daughter, Jordan,
Speaker 3: your niece, was Liam's first friend, and so she and
Speaker 3: I used to like we would sit there because I
Speaker 3: was like nervous. I came in and I felt like
Speaker 3: judged just because that's my own shit. But I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, is everyone looking at me weird? Do
Speaker 3: they hate me? Do they have preconceived notions? And we
Speaker 3: immediately connected and I was like, Okay, I like that mom,
Speaker 3: and so we became friends. They became friends, and yeah,
Speaker 3: she was like my best mom friend for so many years,
Speaker 3: all through preschool.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 1: I mean I remember, I remember all the play dates.
Speaker 1: I remember anytime I would talk to my sister, you know,
Speaker 1: Jordan is playing you know, Tori's kids, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, they're you know, they're really close.
Speaker 2: Which is great.
Speaker 1: It's actually it's just very nostalgic as well, because we
Speaker 1: grew up, you know, watching you on TV. And then
Speaker 1: when you run into or your kids go to school
Speaker 1: with someone that you feel like you've known.
Speaker 2: For so long.
Speaker 1: And I get it now because I was on TV
Speaker 1: for so many years and like, the parents come up
Speaker 1: to me, they think they are already friends with me,
Speaker 1: you know, so but you were just you know, and
Speaker 1: it was just like wow, to Harry Spelling and then
Speaker 1: hearing how kind you are and how humble you are
Speaker 1: and how down to earth you are.
Speaker 2: It was very nice, well she was.
Speaker 3: She was great to me because yeah, I felt always
Speaker 3: felt judged, and she made me feel normal. Yeah, because yeah,
Speaker 3: we would be there like it was weird like people.
Speaker 2: First of all, like half the.
Speaker 3: Moms were too like conservative and square and and just
Speaker 3: like everything had to be like this way and that way. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and Leila and I were we were in our sweats
Speaker 3: and just like, oh we don't care, oh well, and
Speaker 3: we would just sit there and like gossip in the
Speaker 3: corner and be like the kids are fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's crazy. I don't have the energy for
Speaker 1: those type of moms. I can't be one of those.
Speaker 1: I'm just I go in pajamas. I did do drop
Speaker 1: off in pajamas. If I've been homeworking all day, I
Speaker 1: do pick up in pajamas. And that's just as good
Speaker 1: as I get for me. But you know, I love
Speaker 1: to volunteer. I love to do those kind of fun
Speaker 1: things at the school. But that's as much as it
Speaker 1: goes for me. And wait, your son is four. Now
Speaker 1: he's gonna be well, he's four and three quarters according
Speaker 1: to him.
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, it's very important we throw that part in.
Speaker 2: But he'll be.
Speaker 3: Five on one.
Speaker 2: Five in April. He's just he's he's the best.
Speaker 3: And he now I won't say the name, but goes
Speaker 3: to the preschool.
Speaker 2: That we went to. Isn't that a small world? Yes?
Speaker 2: I love that school. I really do too.
Speaker 1: And you'd be so surprised the person, the woman in charge,
Speaker 1: is still running the place.
Speaker 2: She's still there.
Speaker 1: So when Layla comes with my niece Jordan from my
Speaker 1: son's school, things, it's just.
Speaker 2: It's such a small world. It's very nostalgia.
Speaker 3: Did they still have farming animals there?
Speaker 1: They still do, and they've made it even better. They've expanded,
Speaker 1: they've added more things.
Speaker 2: It's really cute.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, over the years we had.
Speaker 3: Farm animals and then we didn't have farm animals, and
Speaker 3: that school, God blessed them. Anytime I was like, we're
Speaker 3: moving to a house in Hoa, we can't have farm animals.
Speaker 3: They took my animals. So a lot of my animals
Speaker 3: are still there.
Speaker 2: Oh, I love that. I didn't know that, and I was,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 3: The kids, like I know, like you know, your goats
Speaker 3: right now are not at home, but they're at school,
Speaker 3: and it was the only school that not that they
Speaker 3: had homework, but you know, as they got older in preschool,
Speaker 3: it was the only school that understood when I said
Speaker 3: the Goat ate their homework, like they were like, okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably a true story.
Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, Oh my gosh, Okay. So when Shaw's of
Speaker 3: Sunset started, I was immediately like, first of all, great show,
Speaker 3: huge fan, huge fan.
Speaker 2: But I was really excited to watch because I was like.
Speaker 3: I know her, like well, I know her ish, I
Speaker 3: know her sister, you know, and that was like a
Speaker 3: big thing, like I felt a very like connective tissue
Speaker 3: watching and but none of that, like all that aside,
Speaker 3: Like I just always loved you because I loved your
Speaker 3: voice and your willingness. And I think at the time
Speaker 3: I found my voice now and everyone's like, oh my.
Speaker 2: God, she says everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but at the time I felt like very like, oh,
Speaker 3: it was a perception of my life and what it was,
Speaker 3: and I admired you because you just said it like
Speaker 3: it was yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know. I had to toot my own harm
Speaker 2: on that.
Speaker 1: But I always have felt I felt like I've always
Speaker 1: been a little bit ahead of everything in that happens
Speaker 1: in life. So I just feel like, now, thank god,
Speaker 1: we're living in this time where it's emphasized to speak up.
Speaker 1: It's emphasized to say what's on your mind, to talk
Speaker 1: about your feelings, to talk about mental health, to talk
Speaker 1: about anything that's happening to you as a woman, as
Speaker 1: a gay person, as a colored person. So I almost
Speaker 1: feel like, gosh, where the fuck is all have all
Speaker 1: you been?
Speaker 2: All these years?
Speaker 1: Like I've been doing this, but I was really culed
Speaker 1: for it, and now you guys are on my bandwagon.
Speaker 3: I feel your sister in so many ways ahead of
Speaker 3: your her. No, it's like is it ever going to be?
Speaker 3: But then it catches up like to me, like you're like,
Speaker 3: I don't know why I want to liken you to
Speaker 3: Paris Hilton, but I do. Except she was a certain
Speaker 3: personality but just as like massive interest and like everyone
Speaker 3: wanted to know what she was going to say, what
Speaker 3: she was doing. But you were like the opposite of her,
Speaker 3: like the polar opposite. Like it was like she was
Speaker 3: the angel, you were the devil but not really. And
Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, like where we Oh my gosh, imagine
Speaker 3: like if we could like go back in time, you're
Speaker 3: too young. But like if you were like in the nineties,
Speaker 3: like early two thousands, you'd be president.
Speaker 1: Now, I gotta tell you, I really don't want to
Speaker 1: go back to those pause.
Speaker 2: I don't want to go back.
Speaker 1: I'm like, there's a reason why I'm so outspoken and
Speaker 1: so in your face and you know, capable of doing
Speaker 1: that was because I grew up in a way that
Speaker 1: made me conditioned to have to be, you know, enforceful
Speaker 1: if I want to talk or if I want to
Speaker 1: get my message across.
Speaker 2: And it's just as a mom now I get it.
Speaker 1: Everything trickles back to how you're raised and if you're
Speaker 1: heard in your house and if you are.
Speaker 2: Nurtured in your house. So I don't want to go
Speaker 2: back to those crazy days.
Speaker 1: I'm really happy for my journey and God bless reality
Speaker 1: TV because I've been in therapy my whole life.
Speaker 2: But nothing is as therapeutic.
Speaker 1: As watching yourself on TV year after year, just changing
Speaker 1: and changing and evolving.
Speaker 2: It's crazy.
Speaker 3: It's like you have videos of your therapy, se diary, right,
Speaker 3: radio diary, dire life, and you're like, Okay, here's me evolving, Okay,
Speaker 3: here's me slipping back down.
Speaker 2: And here I am again.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm like I always would say that, and I
Speaker 3: think people probably thought I was really strange? Is reality TV?
Speaker 3: To me was cathartic. It was my out. I couldn't
Speaker 3: speak up for myself, but I felt a comfort, Like
Speaker 3: when I did True Torri when my husband we had
Speaker 3: a whole infidelity scandal. I people were like, are you
Speaker 3: really filming this? And I was like, I can't speak
Speaker 3: up for myself, but I feel this safety when the
Speaker 3: camera crews are there that.
Speaker 2: I think that. I think the crew, they the production
Speaker 2: in general.
Speaker 1: They are the pen. You know, they're the pen. The
Speaker 1: show is the notebook and you are using. They're helping
Speaker 1: you write your personal story. So I really I loved it.
Speaker 1: It was very good therapy. But I think for a
Speaker 1: reality show, number one to be good and number two
Speaker 1: for you to gain.
Speaker 2: Therapeutic aspects out of it, you have.
Speaker 1: To be fully just transparent, vulnerable to the process, and open.
Speaker 2: And you're gonna get talked shit about. Everyone's gonna troll you.
Speaker 1: Whether you're none or you're you know, whore, It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter what you do, they're gonna hate you.
Speaker 2: It's so true. Do you feel like you're polarizing.
Speaker 1: I think that I allowed my audience to have a
Speaker 1: form of consistency when it came to my personality. It
Speaker 1: wasn't just a seasonal thing. It wasn't just a one
Speaker 1: story thing.
Speaker 2: It's just who I was.
Speaker 1: And I think by being me, it just now gives
Speaker 1: me this platform to continue to be me, not trying
Speaker 1: to fit any societal you know, expectations or norms or anything.
Speaker 1: And when I look at my social media and stuff
Speaker 1: like that, the differences between for instance, me and maybe
Speaker 1: other castmates or other people on reality shows, they get
Speaker 1: a lot of hate.
Speaker 2: They get a lot of like you're so pretty, or
Speaker 2: you're so ugly, or you're so this. I'm not even
Speaker 2: kidding you.
Speaker 1: If you look at my comments, it's just thank you
Speaker 1: for this. You've taught me this, and you know, you
Speaker 1: always so honest, You've always kept it real.
Speaker 2: And it's just.
Speaker 1: Like, I'm like, Wow, now I'm at a point where
Speaker 1: I can really kind of have an impact maybe with
Speaker 1: my words, because I feel like now people are listening.
Speaker 1: You know, I came out with cannabis a million years
Speaker 1: ago before anyone was doing this.
Speaker 2: It was not a thing. You know, I beat everyone
Speaker 2: to the punch.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, you know, advertisers are not ready to promote these
Speaker 1: things on TV because you know, the scheduling, it's a
Speaker 1: federal substance, it's state by state.
Speaker 2: And then every Bravo.
Speaker 1: Housewife wanted to come out with CBD, wanted to do this,
Speaker 1: wanted to do that, ozempic, craze.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, if I did.
Speaker 1: Not set off a whole storm of people coming out
Speaker 1: with ozempic, you know, that was awesome. Having a donor child.
Speaker 1: I got very ridiculed for that one. That was a
Speaker 1: tough one, you know, being so super ridiculed to now
Speaker 1: seeing how it's just becoming more and more and more
Speaker 1: normal for women or men to say, I'm doing this
Speaker 1: on my own.
Speaker 2: I can do it on my own.
Speaker 3: It's almost like you were the learning curve for everybody. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and it couldn't have been easy, Like I'm sure there's
Speaker 3: so much that you had to deal with and repress
Speaker 3: and go through and maybe not repressed. But like the
Speaker 3: fact that it all comes it's cyclical, all comes back
Speaker 3: around now everything like you're pointing out that you have
Speaker 3: done in the past. Everyone's like, yes, we support, we support,
Speaker 3: but at the time, like I know what this is. Like,
Speaker 3: it's hard to balance that shame when you want to
Speaker 3: be authentic and you know what you want and you're
Speaker 3: going to do it anyway, but it's like everyone's just
Speaker 3: like no.
Speaker 2: Right, right, That's what I guess at the end of
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 1: That's just what being real. And I use quotes when
Speaker 1: I say, but that's what being real is. It's just
Speaker 1: staying consistent.
Speaker 2: To who you are or who your soul and heart is.
Speaker 2: That is so true.
Speaker 3: And that's I struggle with this all the time personally
Speaker 3: of like finding me and being me and still kind
Speaker 3: of pigeonholed of what I was conditioned my whole you know,
Speaker 3: nine or two when I was started when I was sixteen,
Speaker 3: condition of what I was supposed to be, Like I
Speaker 3: played the good girl, like I was the virgin, like
Speaker 3: I'm not supposed to publicly have a voice, and then
Speaker 3: one day it's like, oh my god, she has a
Speaker 3: big voice.
Speaker 1: Right, So it's like, did you have that same concept
Speaker 1: where your character, for instance, on Beverly Hills nine o
Speaker 1: two on zero, you felt like you had to be
Speaker 1: that person at all times because that's what they expected
Speaker 1: of you. Yes, you didn't try to say I'm trying
Speaker 1: to prove that I'm the opposite I'm when you do
Speaker 1: press or media or events, it was you were Donna Martin.
Speaker 3: I really didn't, but I didn't.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 3: But here's the thing. I was born into that world
Speaker 3: through my dad. It was like, so first I was
Speaker 3: Aaron's daughter, and I was always kind of on display publicly.
Speaker 3: So it was I picked up from a young age,
Speaker 3: like I represent my parents. They never told me this,
Speaker 3: but being five, I knew everyone's looking at my dad,
Speaker 3: you know, and they know who I am, so I
Speaker 3: have to be a certain way. And then that just
Speaker 3: kept going. And then all of a sudden, I'm playing
Speaker 3: America's most famous virgin, and it's like, oh, she's the
Speaker 3: good girl and everyone's looking up to her. So I
Speaker 3: wait a minute.
Speaker 2: First of all, you had a little bit of.
Speaker 1: A bitch before you were America's virgin on one of
Speaker 1: my favorite movies of absolute all time, True Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I did. I was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was fourteen. You were a little bitch, I know,
Speaker 3: And that was so hard. I only had like what
Speaker 3: two or three lines, but I was like, I was
Speaker 3: like still, then I was like, oh my gosh, here
Speaker 3: was this Beverly Hills girl. Like it was my first
Speaker 3: like acting job. It wasn't my dad's thing. I was
Speaker 3: like thrown out into the wilderness and I was supposed to.
Speaker 2: Be the tough girl bitch, and I was like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm actually just the Beverly Hills girl.
Speaker 3: I wanted to see into the pill That's where I
Speaker 3: feel comfort.
Speaker 2: How here, how here? That's interesting. Yeah, I guess that's
Speaker 2: the case.
Speaker 1: When you go on TV, film, movies, reality, it's just
Speaker 1: society paints this picture and you you kind of get
Speaker 1: stuck sometimes.
Speaker 3: But lucky enough, like you became famous being you right,
Speaker 3: being real right, with a.
Speaker 1: Lot of a lot of penalties attached to it, though,
Speaker 1: a lot of ridicule, a lot of judgment, and you know,
Speaker 1: just mean people. There's a lot of mean people in
Speaker 1: this world. And it's not anything new.
Speaker 2: But I mean, it just doesn't change, and that's.
Speaker 3: Never going to change. And see, we see it happening
Speaker 3: with our kids. I mean, my kids are older. We'll
Speaker 3: see the bullying starts early.
Speaker 2: It does, it does.
Speaker 1: And I think that the more and more technology progresses,
Speaker 1: the more physically disconnected humans get, the more easier it
Speaker 1: is to hurt people because you don't have to.
Speaker 2: Be there to watch what you've done. You know, it's
Speaker 2: kind of like war. Before you there was a front
Speaker 2: line and you were you know, damaged from that.
Speaker 1: But now it's just a push of a button. So
Speaker 1: it's kind of just hurting people from afar.
Speaker 2: It's so true. Oh my gosh, where did this fucking
Speaker 2: conversation just go all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: Sure, we just got like super intellectual look at the
Speaker 3: big brains on us. Guys, we're doing a therapy show.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: I'd rather just talk sex toys with you, though.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can do a lot of that.
Speaker 1: I have, actually, interestingly enough, right before this phone call Dennis,
Speaker 1: which is my ex boyfriend, which you know.
Speaker 3: Your ex husband, we've talked about this. I'm not understanding
Speaker 3: the timeline, but keep going, girl.
Speaker 2: There it's not good. It's not good.
Speaker 1: It's not There is no timeline. It didn't go in
Speaker 1: any order. It was fused, and it was a lot
Speaker 1: of lies and bullshit and betrayal. But you know it is.
Speaker 1: He's my business partner. That's all he is to me
Speaker 1: from here on out. He will never be anything out
Speaker 1: a friend to me. I will never call him my
Speaker 1: ex anymore. He's just my business partner. We have Intimately Gigi,
Speaker 1: and we make really good sex toys for pleasure women.
Speaker 3: And I'm coming out you do make really good sex toys.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you the story behind this in a second. Okay,
Speaker 3: go on.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I have to send you everything.
Speaker 1: And we just launched nipple covers three different shades, so
Speaker 1: I want to get a little bit more broad in
Speaker 1: the intimacy level, just not just sexuality, but just body
Speaker 1: and you know all that stuff.
Speaker 2: I'll send everything to you.
Speaker 3: Oh my god. I'm a big like I should have
Speaker 3: like fuck mad men, it should have been mad Toy.
Speaker 3: Like I am brilliant when it comes to marketing. I
Speaker 3: should be like a marketing coach for people. So if
Speaker 3: you want to pass any ideas, because Intimately great name,
Speaker 3: because you're right, it goes way beyond sex toys, like
Speaker 3: you can go expand into anything that's intimate that people
Speaker 3: love it being.
Speaker 1: Could be any intimacy. I'm now secretly which is keep.
Speaker 2: Parts of a secret.
Speaker 1: We are working on a brand new product which will
Speaker 1: be catering to men.
Speaker 2: So I'm really anxious.
Speaker 1: About this one because it's a very popular thing that
Speaker 1: it's very popular in stores.
Speaker 2: For men and cockering. It's growed out, have been so
Speaker 2: easy to come out with. No, it's it's you're on
Speaker 2: the right track.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, wait, tell me we can play this kid
Speaker 3: game like cool hot warmer.
Speaker 2: I would. It would require molding of stuff.
Speaker 3: Happening, molting, like, wait, are we a mold mold? Oh,
Speaker 3: a mold of a penis?
Speaker 2: But it's for men. It's I'm doing it for men
Speaker 2: me personally.
Speaker 1: It's something personal I'm giving.
Speaker 2: Is that a thing you need?
Speaker 1: You need to put that label down copyright. You're on
Speaker 1: the right, You're on the right.
Speaker 2: Shock though.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, so we won't see what it is, but
Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm fascinating.
Speaker 2: We'll see it soon. We'll see it soon. It's gonna be.
Speaker 3: Everyone pussy and men can never leave the house again.
Speaker 3: They don't have to because they could just right. I mean,
Speaker 3: they master I feel like men masturbrate some many times
Speaker 3: a day. They I don't know how they get through
Speaker 3: their day or go out or like get things done.
Speaker 3: But that's why women get everything done, uh, because we
Speaker 3: can think for ourselves and them.
Speaker 2: And I'm going to do.
Speaker 4: I had a really cool idea to put a special
Speaker 4: secret QR code inside that box and there will be
Speaker 4: a very risque.
Speaker 1: Video of me so they can enjoy the product while
Speaker 1: watching me.
Speaker 3: Wait, does the QR code like you how on your phone?
Speaker 3: You like take a picture?
Speaker 2: If you buy a code inside and then.
Speaker 3: You link, so then it so when they ejaculate, does
Speaker 3: it stimulate the QR code?
Speaker 2: Gg?
Speaker 1: Where were you and I needed to start marketing right?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, my god, we need that.
Speaker 2: Though. That's a great idea. That's good. I'll pitch that.
Speaker 3: Are you coming out with loop?
Speaker 2: Do you have loop? I don't have any Loop?
Speaker 1: I don't, But that's also a great idea to come
Speaker 1: out with loop. I just feel like so many people
Speaker 1: have so many sensitivities.
Speaker 2: And skin and this and that. I get a little
Speaker 2: nervous about stuff like that.
Speaker 3: But oh, I hear you on that one.
Speaker 2: I have everything, though, I have Lord.
Speaker 1: I think we have like seven or eight products now
Speaker 1: for women different toys.
Speaker 2: You have twelve? Do I have twelve? You have twelve?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my god. Did a deep dive.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. It's doing well. So there you go.
Speaker 2: It's doing well.
Speaker 3: Phenomenally.
Speaker 1: Well, it's doing well, and so we just keep coming
Speaker 1: out with new products and it's fun. I mean, it's
Speaker 1: interesting because sex will always exist. And like we were
Speaker 1: just saying a couple of minutes ago, the more you know,
Speaker 1: technology and more advance we get with just times.
Speaker 2: Women are more independent. Women are now.
Speaker 1: Bosses, their CEOs, their owners. They're running a side said boxes. First,
Speaker 1: they don't.
Speaker 2: Need a man in order to get off. They don't
Speaker 2: want to have the bomb. They need a quick you know,
Speaker 2: or like vibration. Three you know what I mean, I
Speaker 2: do know what you mean.
Speaker 3: And eventually, I mean, look, you didn't sperm donor like hello,
Speaker 3: But we don't want to make them extinct because they're fun.
Speaker 3: We don't want to make the useful.
Speaker 2: They're good body heat, Oh.
Speaker 3: They do stay warm?
Speaker 1: Yeah they two, they too, but toy. I didn't have
Speaker 1: sex for almost seven years, so up until last year, last.
Speaker 2: Like May or June, a conscious decision.
Speaker 1: Not well in the beginning, so I got I went
Speaker 1: through a year and a half of e yeah to
Speaker 1: get pregnant. The first one it ruptured and I lost
Speaker 1: both my filopian tubes.
Speaker 2: So immediately I waited to healed.
Speaker 1: Three months later, I was pregnant again and I had
Speaker 1: my son right when COVID started. So then we go
Speaker 1: into two years of lockdown. I have this new well
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I didn't want to expose him,
Speaker 1: and then it was just like, how do I date?
Speaker 2: How does this work? How do you do things? Everything? Swiping?
Speaker 1: And I've never done online stuff, so I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just felt uncomfortable. I didn't wanted to want to go out.
Speaker 1: I wanted to be with my kid. I fell awkward
Speaker 1: and so it just wasn't happening for me. And I'm psychiosexual,
Speaker 1: so I need to get mentally stimulated to have sex.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I was going to say, can you clarify
Speaker 3: that for our Yes.
Speaker 1: I'm turned on by brains like people's minds, so I
Speaker 1: don't have like a particular physical type.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Wait, Okay.
Speaker 3: When I said can you clarify that for our listener,
Speaker 3: I meant for me and I was trying to be cool.
Speaker 3: Ask him for a friend.
Speaker 2: Nobody knows what it means, nobodys.
Speaker 3: I think you just defined what I am.
Speaker 2: There. You go see everyone says that they're like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, is that what it's called it's about the brain.
Speaker 3: I'd rather be turned on by the brain.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, say it again. It's s a p io sexual.
Speaker 3: No, shoot, there's no tea in there. I can't put
Speaker 3: my name and I put my name into everything. Okay,
Speaker 3: I'll share it out later.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's it's How did.
Speaker 3: You come to know this?
Speaker 1: Because at one point I started thinking that I was polyamorous,
Speaker 1: and I realized because I don't have jealousy in my body,
Speaker 1: I don't have I don't care about sex. Is not
Speaker 1: a symbol of faith to me because I'm a mental person.
Speaker 1: For me, cheating on me, Like if you're emotionally invested
Speaker 1: in someone else, now I feel cheated on. But if
Speaker 1: we are having a conversation and you find someone attractive,
Speaker 1: and guess what I'm If I'm not doing it for you,
Speaker 1: or if I'm busy or if i'm traveling, I don't
Speaker 1: have a problem if he wants to hook up or
Speaker 1: get his deck sucked or something like that. So I
Speaker 1: was like reading all these things like what makes a
Speaker 1: person like this, and polyamory came.
Speaker 2: Up and I was like, Oh, maybe that's what I am.
Speaker 1: But then I realized it's not polly because I don't
Speaker 1: want to have multiple boyfriends. I just want to have
Speaker 1: one boyfriend and I want to be his only girlfriend.
Speaker 1: And I just want there to be an understanding of
Speaker 1: who I am and who he is, which is just
Speaker 1: impossible because I want space and relationships.
Speaker 2: I want a lot of space.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, is it possible we were twins in
Speaker 3: another lifetime. I'm not sure what's.
Speaker 2: Cheating space when you have so many kids.
Speaker 1: You are banging your husband a lot to make that happen. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I was that was no space.
Speaker 2: Space.
Speaker 3: But for me, I think I'm still I'm fifty one
Speaker 3: and I'm trying to figure this out now as a
Speaker 3: single mom of five, like suddenly not married, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: what is going on? Who am I? Because I think
Speaker 3: from a young age being on TV and being sexualized,
Speaker 3: I guess you know, that was my self worth was
Speaker 3: if I you know, if a guy thinks I'm pretty
Speaker 3: or he likes my body. And it was the nineties,
Speaker 3: so there wasn't you know, no one's calling hr. There
Speaker 3: wasn't oh my gosh, that's inappropriate kind of anything went.
Speaker 3: No one knew and you know, we had a young
Speaker 3: cast and good looking guys and girls and there was
Speaker 3: no blurred. It all blurred, like you know, walking onto
Speaker 3: that set, you were like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: If the boys went up and were like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: I would always wear like belly shirts they called the
Speaker 3: time crop tops, and the boys would be like telling
Speaker 3: everyone else like, look, oh my gosh, look how tiny
Speaker 3: her waist is, and I'd be like, oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, and showing like people, I can put my
Speaker 3: hands right around her waist. Well, if they didn't do
Speaker 3: that or make a comment about my boobs, I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: something wrong with me, like, and it wasn't inappropriate. We
Speaker 3: were all good friends. No one knew. We all grew
Speaker 3: up together on TV and very young promiscuous, like we're
Speaker 3: all sexually you know, like excited, and we didn't know.
Speaker 3: And so that carried on through my whole life, thinking
Speaker 3: I had to be pretty, not use my brain, not
Speaker 3: you know, be funny. But it's like all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: it took years for me to realize, well, Okay, I'm pretty,
Speaker 3: I have a good body like whatever, but I'm also
Speaker 3: really smart and if someone doesn't stimulate me that way,
Speaker 3: I'm kind of not there.
Speaker 2: But it's still.
Speaker 3: Blurs going back and forth because I still have that need,
Speaker 3: especially for social media. Yeah, I go down the rabbit
Speaker 3: hole and seeing.
Speaker 2: Everybody post all their gorgeous.
Speaker 3: Pictures and how hot they look, and I'm like, am
Speaker 3: I supposed to be that?
Speaker 2: Am I just supposed to be brilliant?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm actually I'm creating an app right now which
Speaker 1: you're gonna love it. It's it's a dating app, but
Speaker 1: it's very specialized. It's very specific. It's there's never been
Speaker 1: anything like this. I'm out there, so I'm really excited
Speaker 1: about this. I'm in the creative phase. I'm putting my
Speaker 1: team together right now.
Speaker 2: But it's hard. It's really hard. Can I be the beta? Yeah,
Speaker 2: the beta.
Speaker 3: I'll be your guinea pig, Like, just let me me
Speaker 3: test it. So I've never done dating apps that I
Speaker 3: used to be like, that's so funny swipe because at
Speaker 3: the end of the day, if you don't put a
Speaker 3: picture one of those dating apps, no one looks at you.
Speaker 2: They swipe. So it's just saying, this is very surface.
Speaker 1: So I want to go beyond that, and I'm designing
Speaker 1: something that it's not. It's just I can't even say
Speaker 1: anything right now. But it's just going to go beyond
Speaker 1: that because we are a world right now where.
Speaker 2: It's called woke. Right, that's what it is.
Speaker 3: It's woke world, and I like cooks, think so, and
Speaker 3: then I can't deal with the word woke.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: The more face app and face tune and these things exist,
Speaker 1: and the more we use them, because we all do.
Speaker 1: The more we use them.
Speaker 2: There's also a larger desire.
Speaker 1: For more realness on the opposite end, because now we're
Speaker 1: craving more natural people be like, look at that, that's
Speaker 1: a natural beauty, as if it's one of the eighth
Speaker 1: wonders of the world, you know, think her boob, centered
Speaker 1: her nose and look at that. Like, I don't know
Speaker 1: anyone who hasn't had everything done. You know, I've had
Speaker 1: everything done.
Speaker 2: So it's just it's but you see the statistics. I
Speaker 2: read a lot. I read from morning tonight.
Speaker 1: So the statistics are showing that people want a different
Speaker 1: type of interaction now. They're tired of swiping, they want
Speaker 1: more in person chemistry vibes.
Speaker 2: So it's just I.
Speaker 1: Think we are there, and you're getting there now you're
Speaker 1: learning that that's who you are, you know. I feel
Speaker 1: like this has always been who I was. But I'm
Speaker 1: also coming from the eighties, nineties, two thousands, where if
Speaker 1: a woman said she doesn't want to be married or
Speaker 1: doesn't believe in marriage, they think either she's a lesbian
Speaker 1: of some sort or something must be wrong with her,
Speaker 1: she must have been heartbroken of something. And she was like, nothing, neither.
Speaker 1: I just I want a partnership. I want someone to
Speaker 1: vibe with. I want to be the boss of my home.
Speaker 1: Though I want my child to be mine, I don't
Speaker 1: need to have that. I just want a dude that
Speaker 1: can be my dude, my friend, and we do all
Speaker 1: that relationship stuff. So I went this route. I had
Speaker 1: a donor. I got married once for seven weeks for
Speaker 1: a certain reason, and got married again for one week
Speaker 1: for another reason. You know it's wait, you were married before, Dennis.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was married for seven weeks. How did I
Speaker 2: miss this girl? His name is Shaloon.
Speaker 1: We were married for seven weeks and I filed and
Speaker 1: it was a long, dreadful divorce process, very long.
Speaker 2: He was really upset with me, so he dragged it.
Speaker 3: But and not believing in marriage is what I'm hearing, Like,
Speaker 3: what made you decide to marry him?
Speaker 1: Schalem needed something, he needed some help with something, and
Speaker 1: we were in a relationship. It was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm picking up what you're putting down. Okay, yeah, so
Speaker 1: you know I was like okay, but then it turned
Speaker 1: into immediately my wife, my wife, my wife, you're my marriage. WHOA,
Speaker 1: that's not what I signed up for.
Speaker 3: So file I think I said once in my podcasts
Speaker 3: and people were kind of that I don't know if
Speaker 3: I believe in monogamy, but not monog I like to
Speaker 3: start now on this. My friend calls me Tory two
Speaker 3: point zero. I'm just like learning about life, but redefining
Speaker 3: words that have been taught to us and defined and like, oh,
Speaker 3: you can google that, here's what it means. It's like, okay,
Speaker 3: that's what it. Who told us I'm supposed to mean that?
Speaker 3: Why don't we take words and make it work for us.
Speaker 3: So I'm not saying I don't believe in just being
Speaker 3: with one partner. I do, like I don't want to
Speaker 3: be with different partners. But I guess it led me
Speaker 3: back to the whole connotation of marriage. And I feel
Speaker 3: like I see so many relationships that are so good
Speaker 3: and then they fall apart once the they say that
Speaker 3: I do is they signed that paper, and.
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, I mean, I really don't understand it.
Speaker 1: It's it's I don't understand the concept of marriage. You know,
Speaker 1: it used to be to form you know, treaties and
Speaker 1: combine power and land when we were in caveman kind
Speaker 1: of shit and ruling dynasties and those eras where you know,
Speaker 1: the king of this country wanted to unite with the
Speaker 1: king of this country, so they married their kids to unite.
Speaker 2: Marriage was a business deal, always, always.
Speaker 1: But now it's turned into well, for a while, I
Speaker 1: would say, up until the last five ten years, it
Speaker 1: turned into if you're not married, something's wrong. You're supposed
Speaker 1: to get married. You go to school, if you go
Speaker 1: to college, you get a job.
Speaker 2: You get married, you have kids, and then you die.
Speaker 2: Like that was life. That was the story.
Speaker 3: I mean, I did all of that except oh my god.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's time to live. It's time to live because
Speaker 1: there's a whole world out there that you know, you
Speaker 1: can do it in any order you want. You don't
Speaker 1: have to even be a part of the order if
Speaker 1: you don't want. I'm not talking about being radical, that's
Speaker 1: a different level, but I mean, if you want to
Speaker 1: be married, get married. If it means something to you
Speaker 1: and it does your partner, do it. But don't expect
Speaker 1: marriage the concept to become this ruling power of love
Speaker 1: and unity forever.
Speaker 2: Nothing's forever nothing.
Speaker 3: Right now, What do you think of the word emasculating.
Speaker 2: I think I'm very good at it.
Speaker 3: Emasculation another form of ejaculation another male like. It's just
Speaker 3: I've spent my whole life trying to make men not
Speaker 3: feel emasculated to my own demise that. It's like whether
Speaker 3: relationship with a partner, whether business, and it sucks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that must suck. I was never like that fucked out, Sorry,
Speaker 2: but I could never.
Speaker 1: I think you are masculating a man by trying to
Speaker 1: not emasculate him, because you are just robbing him of
Speaker 1: actual strength and power by thinking you're giving him that.
Speaker 2: Giving him power is by showing him who you.
Speaker 1: Are, because saying this is what you chose, because that's
Speaker 1: what you're capable of having. Here, I am, this is
Speaker 1: my strength. See how capable you are of having me.
Speaker 2: That's how I.
Speaker 1: Consider a man like you are lucky to have me
Speaker 1: in your life. I'm going to make you better.
Speaker 3: Can you be my life coach?
Speaker 2: Yeah, join my tech t put.
Speaker 3: A QR code on that if you want.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It was just always like, but men always are like, uh,
Speaker 3: you're not doing it to me, But I feel emasculated
Speaker 3: if you're more successful than them.
Speaker 1: That's such a cheesy, man, What does success have to
Speaker 1: do with your manhood?
Speaker 2: I get it. For a long time, men.
Speaker 1: Felt the need to have to be the provider and
Speaker 1: the caretaker.
Speaker 2: And that's okay. In certain places. I allow that because
Speaker 2: as far as our species goes, our species is led.
Speaker 1: Man is more powerful than woman is physically, So in
Speaker 1: those things, I do.
Speaker 2: Allow a man to feel like he's more physically capable.
Speaker 1: In certain things because truth of this, I may not
Speaker 1: be able to open the jar, and sometimes I might
Speaker 1: be able to, and I'm like, honey, can you open
Speaker 1: this warm? Because I know that that's going to make
Speaker 1: him feel like he's strong, he's.
Speaker 2: Taking care of me. You know. Those things I'm okay with.
Speaker 2: But that's as fire as it goes.
Speaker 1: I'm very I'm a Sagittarius, so I'm a very logical person.
Speaker 1: If I'm having sex with a guy, I'm going to leave.
Speaker 2: I'm going to go home. Right after.
Speaker 1: I don't want to cuddle right away. I want to
Speaker 1: kind of just my space. I want to do my thing.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the evening. I'm not upset, you know
Speaker 1: if I don't get text messages or I don't get
Speaker 1: a callback, and you don't need to say I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I understand life happens, you don't.
Speaker 1: You know it's okay. I either make a choice that yes,
Speaker 1: this works for me, or no it doesn't, and I
Speaker 1: walk away my questions for you.
Speaker 2: I could talk to you all day night. I'm like
Speaker 2: a robot that Tori.
Speaker 1: I tell you any man way me is will tell you.
Speaker 1: It's not I'm not a heart this, I'm full of
Speaker 1: it heart. I just am logical.
Speaker 2: That's all. Vulnerable though I can't be.
Speaker 1: I think when I'm in a in a situation where
Speaker 1: a man allows me to be fully in my feminine,
Speaker 1: I can finally be vulnerable.
Speaker 3: You know, that's exactly it. When a man allows you
Speaker 3: to be in your feminine.
Speaker 1: It's hard because a man himself has to be so
Speaker 1: masculine that he enters his feminine in order for a
Speaker 1: woman to enter hers. So when I am in those situations,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I turn into this most incomfident little
Speaker 1: baby that I want to just feel safe and nurtured.
Speaker 2: And but it's very rare. It happens, but it's rare,
Speaker 2: But I would like that. And until I find a.
Speaker 1: Mae who can make me feel that way, I just
Speaker 1: stay single, keep dating.
Speaker 2: I don't date though, How do you fucking date in
Speaker 2: this city?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know either, I don't know.
Speaker 3: And at fifty one and suddenly, like, after being in
Speaker 3: a relationship for twenty years, I'm like, your relationship.
Speaker 2: Was rocky right throughout. You guys had ups and downs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the whole time, a lot of a lot of passion.
Speaker 3: You know what I got to say, parenting And this
Speaker 3: is where you got it right, Like parenting was the
Speaker 3: biggest to ruining our relationship. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2: The kids were the.
Speaker 3: Greatest part of our relationship because we did. We created
Speaker 3: five beings out of love and passion.
Speaker 2: We really did.
Speaker 3: And then suddenly when we had to parent them and
Speaker 3: things you never discussed before marriage, parenting styles, or maybe
Speaker 3: you don't even know you have different parenting styles. I
Speaker 3: feel like that should be if you're going to be
Speaker 3: on an app, it should be like, and you have kids,
Speaker 3: you should be like, what's your parenting style? Because it's
Speaker 3: just I don't know. I don't know if we can
Speaker 3: ever stay with the man we create humans with, right,
Speaker 3: because it changed our relationship and we were those types
Speaker 3: that we were like, we want kids so badly together
Speaker 3: and we were both like we were both married before
Speaker 3: and he had kids, I didn't, and I we were
Speaker 3: just like, I don't want our relationship to change, and.
Speaker 2: It did.
Speaker 3: The moment I got pregnant, everything changed.
Speaker 1: That's interesting when pregnancy change not from having the child.
Speaker 3: Correct, because the moment I found out I was pregnant,
Speaker 3: I changed.
Speaker 2: Ah, there it is.
Speaker 3: And he didn't even know he was doing this, but
Speaker 3: you know, the shift happened.
Speaker 2: He was my world.
Speaker 3: The focus was on him, and as soon as my
Speaker 3: new world was being created within me, I was all
Speaker 3: about that baby. And it's just the dynamics slowly.
Speaker 1: Isn't safe to say I mean without being mean or anything.
Speaker 2: But would it be safe to say the narcissist.
Speaker 1: If the tension shifted onto something else that wasn't on
Speaker 1: him anymore?
Speaker 2: I don't know. But here's what.
Speaker 3: I've come to learn about narcissists.
Speaker 1: They come in different and sizes. There's extreme ones, there's
Speaker 1: regular ones.
Speaker 3: And there's like so many differ If you look up narcissism,
Speaker 3: there's so many different types of narcissists. Like there's five
Speaker 3: I think main types, and the kindest human might fall
Speaker 3: into like I don't know if it's called emotional narcissist
Speaker 3: or something.
Speaker 2: But it's I don't know. And then are we to
Speaker 2: say or do we? Are we all a little bit narcissistic.
Speaker 3: Like in some way to a degree because we think
Speaker 3: of narcissism, we're like, oh my god, it's somewhat horrible
Speaker 3: and bad, and it's like.
Speaker 2: No, but I'll tell you.
Speaker 1: Something that's always said in psychology is that the person
Speaker 1: who wonders if they are narcissist is usually not. Oh,
Speaker 1: if you internally wonder if you are, not externally with conversations,
Speaker 1: I wonder I'm a narcissist. No, no, no, But if you
Speaker 1: actually wonder like I'm a narcissist because I did that,
Speaker 1: that means typically you're probably not, and you're just thinking
Speaker 1: of yourself in a better form and you've placed boundaries.
Speaker 1: A lot of people confuse boundaries and self worth and
Speaker 1: value with narcissism.
Speaker 2: But when you, like you said, you took attention.
Speaker 1: And all of that away immediately, and it went onto
Speaker 1: this human you're creating and your tummy.
Speaker 2: And now he's deprived.
Speaker 1: You know, this thing you were nurturing, this human you
Speaker 1: were taken care of and giving that attention to, and
Speaker 1: is now feeling this deprivation.
Speaker 2: So it just comes differently, I guess. So we went
Speaker 2: on and had four.
Speaker 3: More, right, and I think what never talked about this
Speaker 3: with anyone. I think if we had to really think
Speaker 3: about it, perhaps our connection really was it was sexual.
Speaker 3: It was wow nice, which is odd because again, what
Speaker 3: am I now? I'm a what's the word?
Speaker 2: I said? Po sexual? S A p io sabio.
Speaker 3: I'm a sapio sexual. Yes, Hi, I'm Torrian, I'm a
Speaker 3: sapio sexual.
Speaker 2: Hi, Tari, welcome with that press fuckers