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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime Podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode.

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Speaker 2: I gave gifts to my boyfriend's kids. His ex wife

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Speaker 2: didn't take it lightly. No gifts, no, no, no throwaway account.

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Speaker 2: Apologies for the length, but this is really troubling me.

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Speaker 2: Names have been changed. I thirty nine female, have been

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Speaker 2: in a relationship with my boyfriend Brian forty two male

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Speaker 2: for a year or so. We're in love and are

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Speaker 2: talking about moving in together when my lease expires in

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Speaker 2: six months. By the way, this comes from TACSMTB and

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Speaker 2: if you want to smit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: our slash Okay Storytime suburb its. From the beginning, I

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Speaker 2: knew he was divorced for five years and had two

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Speaker 2: school aged kids named Alex ten female and Dan eight male.

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Speaker 2: When things started getting serious between us, Brian told me

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Speaker 2: the reason he and his ex ilicit divorced was because

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Speaker 2: Brian had an affair with the co worker Alissa found

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Speaker 2: out and filed for a divorce. Brian told me that

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Speaker 2: he regrets cheating on Alissa and that he set a

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Speaker 2: terrible example for Alex and Dan. He wouldn't blame me

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Speaker 2: if I considered it a deal breaker. Despite my issues

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Speaker 2: with cheating. My mom left my dad for another man

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Speaker 2: when I was his kid's age. I believe that people

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Speaker 2: can change, and I believed Brian was remorseful. Maybe that's

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Speaker 2: naive of me, I don't know. I thanked him for

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Speaker 2: telling me and told him that I accepted him in

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Speaker 2: spite of his past. Alissa has primary custody, but Brian

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Speaker 2: has them during the weekends and some holidays. Because we

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Speaker 2: were talking about moving in together, Brian proposed that I

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Speaker 2: meet Alex and Dan at dinner. I agreed and asked

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Speaker 2: him to tell Alissa, figuring she'd want to know. I

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Speaker 2: sure would myself if I was in her shoes. We

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Speaker 2: met at a restaurant shortly before Christmas, and everything went great.

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Speaker 2: The kids and I were understandably nervous at first, but

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Speaker 2: by the time dessert rolled around, we were laughing and

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Speaker 2: I thought having a good time. Alex and Dan are

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Speaker 2: great kids, and I said as much to Brian. As

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Speaker 2: we were leaving. Last Friday, Brian had Alex and Dan

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Speaker 2: and we decided to go to the mall together. Alex

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Speaker 2: wanted to go to Old Time and I went with

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Speaker 2: her while Brian and Dan went at the Apple Store.

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Speaker 2: You fell in love with a small bottle of purple

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Speaker 2: nail polish, and I decided to purchase it for her.

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Speaker 2: To be fair to Dan, I purchased an iTunes gift

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Speaker 2: card of the same amount so he can listen to

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Speaker 2: music on his iPad. I told the kids it was

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Speaker 2: a late Christmas present for me. The kids were very

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Speaker 2: grateful and even made me a thank you card. I

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Speaker 2: was moved and thank them. This all seems perfectly fine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah across the board, Yeah, totally fine, no problems right now.

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Speaker 2: I had never met Alissa before any of this. I

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Speaker 2: made it clear to Brian that if she wants to

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Speaker 2: meet me or not, it is her choice and hers alone,

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Speaker 2: and whatever it is, I would respect it. Last night

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Speaker 2: I got a call from Melissa. I wasn't surprised she

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Speaker 2: had my number because I figured the kids or Brian

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Speaker 2: must have given it to her. She asked me why

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Speaker 2: I bought the kids Christmas presents. I explained the situation

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Speaker 2: you told me that she didn't want me hanging around

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Speaker 2: Alex or Dan before hanging up. I don't know what

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Speaker 2: to do. Brian is at work and won't be off

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Speaker 2: until tonight, so I have some time to come up

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Speaker 2: with a plant. As much as I love Brian, I

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Speaker 2: don't want to come between him and his kids. Made

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Speaker 2: a terrible decision, yes, but I know he loves Alex

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Speaker 2: and Dan and has been doing his best to make

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Speaker 2: it up to them. I don't know if Alissa thinks

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Speaker 2: I'm the woman Brian cheated with or what she might

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Speaker 2: that's a good point. You might be like, it's your fault. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: If we're going to be living together in the future,

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Speaker 2: the kids are going to be a part of my life,

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Speaker 2: and I want to be part of their lives if

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Speaker 2: they want me to be. As I said, they're great kids.

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Speaker 2: I can't take the place of their mother, and I

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Speaker 2: don't want to. I want us to have a good

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Speaker 2: relationship with each other. So what do I do? Did

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Speaker 2: I do the wrong thing by buying them nail polish

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Speaker 2: and a gift card? And there are some comments, but

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Speaker 2: I want to hear your comments first. I think no,

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Speaker 2: I don't think so. I don't think you did anything.

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Speaker 2: It's such a little gift, such a tiny little gift

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Speaker 2: nail blash. I mean, unless you like splurged and got

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Speaker 2: really expensive nailologes right under ten bucks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and their kids too. Leave them alone. It's fine.

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Speaker 3: You want to deprive your children of nail polige and

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Speaker 3: iTunes of music.

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Speaker 2: That's your prerogative. What kind of monster. But there are

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Speaker 2: some comments. Tell Brian what happened, let him deal with it.

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Speaker 2: Don't answer the phone for his co parent again. Next

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Speaker 2: time one of the kids asks for something that would

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Speaker 2: be an escalation in your relationship with them, like gift buying,

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Speaker 2: get ready to say, let's check with your dad first,

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Speaker 2: and slow your role on moving it. Six months after

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Speaker 2: meeting his kids is too fast to be moving here,

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Speaker 2: Opie says. We're talking about it. It's not for sure

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Speaker 2: yet and probably won't be for a while. It's all

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Speaker 2: going to depend on a bunch of factors. Comment to

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Speaker 2: what did Alissa say when you asked her why it

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Speaker 2: bothered you so much? Opie says, I didn't get a

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Speaker 2: chance to ask her before she hung up, and she

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Speaker 2: hasn't responded to my texts asking why it did bother.

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Speaker 2: Her comment three, tell him everything and let him deal

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Speaker 2: with it. The ex is still pissed and she should be,

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Speaker 2: but her anger shouldn't be directed towards you, Opie says, No,

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Speaker 2: she really shouldn't still be pissed. It's been five years

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Speaker 2: and her being pissed still will only hurt the kids.

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Speaker 2: I know Reddit doesn't like to hear it and thinks

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Speaker 2: that Peter should literally be unalived, but real life has

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Speaker 2: more nuance and there is an update. I do think

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Speaker 2: five years is a long time, Like I think there

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Speaker 2: should be more willingness to co parent by five years,

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Speaker 2: like you don't have to like your cheater ex husband

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Speaker 2: who summer. But I think that there does have to

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Speaker 2: be of co parenting, like our ability to co parent. Yeah. Absolutely.

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Speaker 3: And it's also interesting because I feel like in a

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Speaker 3: lot of situation there's a divorce, there's like a big

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Speaker 3: conversation on like when a new partner should meet the kids. Yes,

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Speaker 3: but it's something like that, Yeah, And it sounds like

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Speaker 3: this is already you know, op is obviously just hanging

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Speaker 3: out with the kids. This doesn't sound like it's the

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Speaker 3: first time, So it's like, why would it be an

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Speaker 3: issue that there's like.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and they also have that conversation like op was

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Speaker 2: like you know a Lissa, no that you want me

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Speaker 2: to hang out with the kids. Yeah, And so that

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Speaker 2: was already established that it seems like they already had

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Speaker 2: the get you know, go ahead on that, but it

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Speaker 2: was just the buying gifts that was the problem. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I'm guessing that there's also just a miscommunication with the

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Speaker 3: kids too, because the kids are probably thinking a little

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Speaker 3: bit of like, oh, yeah, like she's awesome she bought

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Speaker 3: us Christmas gifts, you know, and then.

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Speaker 4: So cool, right, and then like maybe jealous maybe Yeah,

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Speaker 4: she's maybe thinking that process some sort of boundary and

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Speaker 4: some sort of like intimacy thing, Cause that is kind

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Speaker 4: of a thing where it's like if you're close with someone,

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Speaker 4: you know, you get them a gift.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't you don't always do that.

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Speaker 3: You don't always have to be that close with them,

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Speaker 3: but like you know what I mean, she's probably thinking

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Speaker 3: that it's a bit like more intimate than it actually probably.

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Speaker 2: Hey, everyone, I just want to thank you guys for

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Speaker 2: your input and suggestions on how to handle the situation

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Speaker 2: with Brian and Alyssa. I read the comments and gained

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Speaker 2: valuable insight on the matter. I also got answers to

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Speaker 2: questions you all had. When Brian got home the evening

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Speaker 2: I made that post, I told him about Alyssa calling me.

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Speaker 2: He apologized and talked to her about it. We also

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Speaker 2: talked about postponing the move until the kids are comfortable enough,

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Speaker 2: but we won't make a decision for a few months.

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Speaker 2: Part of the reason Brian waited so long to introduce

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Speaker 2: Alex and Dan to me was because his last girlfriend,

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Speaker 2: not the affair partner, and the kids did not get along,

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Speaker 2: so he wanted to make sure the kids were completely

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Speaker 2: okay with meeting me, which is why I didn't meet

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Speaker 2: them until a year into our relationship, which I think

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Speaker 2: it seems like they're doing it pretty well. They're going

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Speaker 2: like slowly, they're, you know, making sure that everyone's okay

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Speaker 2: with it. Also, him telling me about the affair happened

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Speaker 2: maybe four or five months into our relationship, so I've

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Speaker 2: known about it for a while. He's been completely transparent

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Speaker 2: with me, giving me his pass codes and passwords so

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Speaker 2: I can check his text, emails, social media if I

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Speaker 2: get suspicious. The kids primarily live with Elissa, but spend

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Speaker 2: weekends slash some holidays with Brian, but it's fifty to

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Speaker 2: fifty joint custody. I apologize for any confusion my post

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Speaker 2: may have caused. Alyssa called me the next day and

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Speaker 2: apologized to me for telling me to stay away from

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Speaker 2: Alex and Dan. She told me that due to her

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Speaker 2: work schedule, she and Alex hadn't been spending a lot

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Speaker 2: of time together. Only thing they liked to do together

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Speaker 2: was do each other's hair, make up, nails, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: Alisa told me she felt threatened about losing time with

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Speaker 2: Alex when she saw the bottle of nail polish. She

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Speaker 2: also got the number from Alex's phone the day we

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Speaker 2: went to the mall. Brian and I had Alex and

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Speaker 2: Dan put it in their phones in case we got

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Speaker 2: separated and they weren't able to get a hold of

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Speaker 2: either Brian or Alyssa. That way, they have a safe

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Speaker 2: adult Alyssa was really apologetic, and I believe her. Whoa

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Speaker 2: ooh okay communication. I forgave her and told her that

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Speaker 2: I wasn't upset. I also reassured her that if she

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Speaker 2: has any questions or concerns, she can always talk to me.

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Speaker 2: We aren't friends by any stretch of the imagination, but

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Speaker 2: I can see us developing a partnership. This is great.

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Speaker 2: I love that they figured it out, they worked as adults,

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Speaker 2: and they did what's best for the kids. I agree.

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Speaker 2: On Friday, Alyssa proposed that the five of us, Brian, Alyssa,

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Speaker 2: the kids, and me could all meet at a neutral

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Speaker 2: location and talked to Alex and Dan about any questions

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Speaker 2: they may have. Brian and I agreed, and we got

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Speaker 2: together yesterday and actually went really well. We reassured the

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Speaker 2: kids who knew about Brian and I talking about us

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Speaker 2: moving in together, that we weren't going to make any

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Speaker 2: major decisions for a long time, and that we would

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Speaker 2: take their concerns and opinions into account when the time came.

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Speaker 2: I also told the kids that I was always going

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Speaker 2: to be honest with them. If they had a question

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Speaker 2: that I didn't have an answer to or felt it

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Speaker 2: was a conversation that their parents should have with them,

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Speaker 2: then I would tell them. So. By the way, I'm

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Speaker 2: telling you guys that you can go listen to full

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Speaker 2: episodes with stories just like this. Just go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

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Speaker 2: or your favorite podcast stap and search a booky story time,

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Speaker 2: and there's a little bit left to the story. But

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Speaker 2: do you have any final thoughts. I just think this

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Speaker 2: is going well. I think it's going really well.

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Speaker 3: It's rare that we see proper communication really in these

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Speaker 3: read stories, but here it is. Here, it is, It

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Speaker 3: exists everyone. It's possible. So do it. You can put

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Speaker 3: your mind to it. You can do it. Yeah, they

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Speaker 3: put their mind to it. I yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 2: I assure them that I wasn't going to take Alyssa's

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Speaker 2: place in their hearts as their mom, and that she

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Speaker 2: is a wonderful mom who loves them very much. But

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Speaker 2: I would like to get to know them better. We

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Speaker 2: answer their questions and everyone's suggestions. I think we're all

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Speaker 2: going to be okay. Yes, yes, story they are going

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Speaker 2: to be okay too. I agree. I think it's all

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Speaker 2: gonna work out. I agree. Seems just miscommunication. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: then they communicated it and then it fixed all of

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Speaker 2: the problems in the world. But yeah, that works.

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Speaker 3: Our flatmate confessed her love to my boyfriend. I confronted her.

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Speaker 2: Eviction, get her out, get her out.

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Speaker 3: I female twenty seven, moved into my flat in October

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Speaker 3: of last year to take the place of a mutual

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Speaker 3: friend of mine and my new flatmate, female twenty ten.

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Speaker 3: We have a generally great atmosphere in the flat and

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Speaker 3: both have similar expectations and habits. And while we're not

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Speaker 3: friends yet as in we wouldn't go out for brunch

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Speaker 3: or be each other's plus ones for parties, we are

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Speaker 3: very friendly.

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Speaker 2: She seems super normal and level.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from a discombobulated Owl eighty one.

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Speaker 2: And if you want to submit your own stories, just

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Speaker 2: go to the ur slosh Okay storytime subreddits.

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Speaker 3: So when the lockdown began in March, my boyfriend, Mail

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Speaker 3: thirty one of two years, was living with his sister

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Speaker 3: and his mother undergoing chemo, who lived alone, needed somewhere

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Speaker 3: to stay where she could be looked after, so she

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Speaker 3: moved into his room and he came to stay with us.

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Speaker 3: My flatmate was totally fine, and we had a proper

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Speaker 3: chat about ground rules, et cetera. But ultimately the flat

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Speaker 3: is huge for two people and she has a kind

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Speaker 3: of brandy flat set up in hers. Either way, she

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Speaker 3: gave definite approval. Now, we three got on great, but

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Speaker 3: never really spent a ton of time together. We all

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Speaker 3: work from home, and spend the occasional evening playing games

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Speaker 3: or whatever, but ultimately we didn't mingle much more than before.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend, however, cooks every night for the both of

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Speaker 3: us as a thank you, and so we do now

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Speaker 3: eat together, and my flatmate seemed happy to be included.

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Speaker 2: It was great.

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Speaker 3: However, last week my boyfriend took me aside and told

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Speaker 3: me that while he was in the courtyard hanging out

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Speaker 3: the washing, she ambushed him from behind and gave a

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Speaker 3: huge speech about how she's in love with him and

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Speaker 3: while she respects that he's with me, she has deep

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Speaker 3: feelings for him, and that she's available if you were single.

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Speaker 3: Oh and please don't tell ope. She didn't try to

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Speaker 3: kiss him, but tried to hold his hand. He was

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Speaker 3: very anxious and flustered while he was telling me this.

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Speaker 3: The flat atmosphere is very awkward now, but as far

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Speaker 3: as she knows, he's.

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Speaker 2: Not said a word.

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Speaker 3: She has not said anything else to him, but he

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Speaker 3: did mention that she had touched his arm a couple

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Speaker 3: of times as she was walking past recently, and it's

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Speaker 3: really gotten under my skin. My boyfriend is also confused

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Speaker 3: because he hasn't spent that much time with her apart

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Speaker 3: from dinner and never alone. I spoke to our mutual friend,

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Speaker 3: who was shocked and said that she's never done anything

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Speaker 3: like this before, and she had never known my housemate

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Speaker 3: to have a crush on anyone either. I've not seen

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Speaker 3: her acting strangely in any other ways, and it hasn't

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Speaker 3: outwardly affected how she treats me. We can't move right

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Speaker 3: now because virus, money, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: How do I deal with this? I think you gotta

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Speaker 2: sit her down and be like girly, yeah, not appropriate,

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Speaker 2: not appropriate, Like you can't. This is not okay one,

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Speaker 2: and I mean it's making my boyfriend uncomfortable. But also

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Speaker 2: it's just very disrespectful and we're living together. And unless

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Speaker 2: you want to move out right now, which is pretty

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Speaker 2: hard during the pandemic, then you need you need to

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Speaker 2: stab it. You gotta quit it.

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Speaker 3: Inappropriate and boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. But there is an update,

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Speaker 3: so let's see if she did confront her.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 3: Firstly, thank you all for your advice, and no thank

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Speaker 3: you to the few who took it upon themselves to

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Speaker 3: dm me to be inappropriate or.

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Speaker 2: Creepy WDF for the room.

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Speaker 3: It gets a little intense, So first I'll just cover

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Speaker 3: some things that I wasn't able to in my original post.

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Speaker 3: I trust my boyfriend completely, even if I didn't. This

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Speaker 3: apartment is large, not massive. I know where that beloved mother,

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Speaker 3: ever is twenty four seven. A lot of you asked when,

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Speaker 3: after my housemate's confession, my boyfriend told me about it.

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Speaker 3: He told me a couple of hours afterwards. He explained

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Speaker 3: to me, after we had a chat about it, that

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Speaker 3: he was afraid that I wouldn't believe him, or that

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Speaker 3: I'd be angry. At first, he thought it was a

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Speaker 3: weird joke that made him uncomfortable, and he felt rightly

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Speaker 3: so weirded out.

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Speaker 2: I agree with the.

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Speaker 3: Bulk of you that her continued touching is her harassment,

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Speaker 3: and while a number suggested that he just confront her himself,

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Speaker 3: I empathize with being in a situation without breathing room

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Speaker 3: where someone is spicy relatedly harassing you. It's not easy,

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Speaker 3: and you can quickly find yourself on sure if those

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Speaker 3: brief moments of crossing line. Even he's not on our lease,

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Speaker 3: and understandably, he was concerned about me and the power

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Speaker 3: dynamic in the house because her room is a mini

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Speaker 3: granny flat, she pays.

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Speaker 2: The bigger share.

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Speaker 3: I also don't believe that it was, as some suggested,

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Speaker 3: a hypomanic episode. I have my polar two, and while

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Speaker 3: I understand the love rush, she exhibited zero other behaviors

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Speaker 3: and never tried to contact my boyfriend outside of the

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Speaker 3: weird touching, I also can appreciate that there's no way

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Speaker 3: she was actually in love. So yesterday, after a tense

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Speaker 3: few days of trying to avoid her, my boyfriend and

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Speaker 3: I were in the kitchen at breakfast while she was

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Speaker 3: in the living area. I went to our bathroom she

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Speaker 3: has an en suite, which is just off the main area, to.

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Speaker 2: Brush my teeth.

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Speaker 3: As I walked back out to grab my phone, I

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Speaker 3: caught her running her hand and forearm across his lower back.

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Speaker 2: Where his T shirt had ridden up a little.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend, who didn't see me, yelped really loudly and

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Speaker 3: just lost debt. He yelled at her to stop, and

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00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,600
Speaker 3: when they both saw me, he started going, you see.

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00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,600
Speaker 2: This is what I was talking about. AWE.

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00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:09,880
Speaker 3: I was furious, just whole body anger, and I could

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Speaker 3: see that she had now realized that he had told

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Speaker 3: me about her confession and behavior.

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Speaker 2: She sprinted to her room and slammed the door.

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Speaker 3: My boyfriend and I went out for a walk to

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Speaker 3: calm down, and he kept apologizing for not being more firm,

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Speaker 3: but he was shaken up.

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Speaker 2: That's thought your fault at all. Someone touched you without

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Speaker 2: your consent and you literally said no, and then you

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Speaker 2: told your girlfriend and then she did it again, still

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Speaker 2: her asking Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Some of you told me I should just confront her

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Speaker 3: head on which in the moment I one hundred percent

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Speaker 3: sided with. I was so angry for him. He told

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Speaker 3: me that he'd rather give her the opportunity to.

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Speaker 2: Handle it diplomatically.

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Speaker 3: I appreciated what you guys said about lockdown being an

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Speaker 3: extenuating circumstance, and in discussion with our mutual friend, I

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Speaker 3: was willing to believe that an element of it was naivety,

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00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:59,120
Speaker 3: a bit of fantasy gone too far. I was willing

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Speaker 3: to be kind to her. When we returned with the

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00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,560
Speaker 3: plan of action, we knocked on her door, but she

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Speaker 3: didn't answer. We tried a couple of times, but she

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Speaker 3: wouldn't come out, although she was seeing my WhatsApp. Come

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00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,600
Speaker 3: late afternoon, I was just over. I knocked and told

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Speaker 3: her that I was coming in. I sat her down

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Speaker 3: on her bed and told her gently but firmly that

365
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Speaker 3: her behavior was inappropriate, that it was making us uncomfortable,

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Speaker 3: and that she had to get the heck over it

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Speaker 3: herself if she intended to continue living.

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Speaker 2: She burst into tears.

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Speaker 3: Oh started crying about how she's so sorry and what

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Speaker 3: a bad person she is.

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Speaker 2: Dude, if I was saying this, I'd be like, am

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Speaker 2: I supposed to disagree?

373
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Speaker 3: She so that she couldn't believe the pressure of lockdown

374
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,000
Speaker 3: was getting to her whatever, and I felt bad, and

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00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:51,040
Speaker 3: I started sympathizing now, trying to be compassionate. And then

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00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,920
Speaker 3: she said, it's just so unfair that the guy I'm

377
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:58,120
Speaker 3: in love with as a really great girlfriend. Unfair My

378
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,800
Speaker 3: booty her that she had a lot of growing up

379
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:04,840
Speaker 3: to do, perspective to learn, and that she owed the

380
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:11,239
Speaker 3: house an apology. She started having a full blown meltdown, weeping, hiccuping, snotty.

381
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Speaker 2: The works.

382
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,879
Speaker 3: And then when I stood up to leave, I spotted

383
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 3: in her clothes rack my freaking shirt.

384
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Speaker 2: I took it and went back to my room.

385
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:25,040
Speaker 3: My housemate cried loudly with the door open until seven

386
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Speaker 3: pm for attention.

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Speaker 2: I guess literally that's the only reason you cried loudly

388
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Speaker 2: with the door opened, so that they can come back

389
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,600
Speaker 2: and me, well, I'm sorry, yeah, exactly. That was when

390
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 2: I finally snapped.

391
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:41,040
Speaker 3: I used our emergency contact sheet, hauled her mom and

392
00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 3: told her that she had to come pick up her daughter.

393
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,600
Speaker 3: I had never met this woman before, but she came

394
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:48,800
Speaker 3: rushing in like a superstar. The look of annoyance and

395
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:51,640
Speaker 3: embarrassment on her face when she found her twenty seven

396
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 3: year old daughter having a tantrum told me that this

397
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,560
Speaker 3: wasn't a new part of her personality. My housemate also

398
00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:01,480
Speaker 3: shut the f up pretty quickly after realizing that her

399
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,320
Speaker 3: mom was They didn't say anything to us, but we

400
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,480
Speaker 3: just hid in our room until they were gone.

401
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:07,240
Speaker 2: I think she'll be.

402
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:09,320
Speaker 3: Gone at least for a while, but I texted her

403
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:11,320
Speaker 3: to let her know that it would be the best

404
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,959
Speaker 3: if she texted me before coming back. I don't know,

405
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,840
Speaker 3: and I'll see her next. Technically, the lease ends in August,

406
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,800
Speaker 3: so my boyfriend and I think that we can make

407
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:21,080
Speaker 3: it work and find something new. If not, it's not

408
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,200
Speaker 3: that long until we can re sign without her. As

409
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:25,800
Speaker 3: a coda to all this, my boyfriend mentioned that if

410
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 3: she took a blouse. Maybe she took other stuff too.

411
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,600
Speaker 3: I appreciate that some of you may consider this an

412
00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:34,520
Speaker 3: invasion of privacy, but I did go back in just

413
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:35,800
Speaker 3: to check.

414
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,360
Speaker 2: I found a set.

415
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,199
Speaker 3: Of my geens, my T shirt, one of my boyfriend's

416
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:44,320
Speaker 3: work shirts, a vinyl I owned my effing charm bracelet

417
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,760
Speaker 3: from when I was a kid, from inside my jewelry box,

418
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:48,640
Speaker 3: a sheet of my.

419
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,600
Speaker 2: Old anti depressed house Yikes. Who and that was just

420
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 2: what was on the rack or on display. Stealing. She's

421
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 2: a thief, She's a thief man.

422
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:04,040
Speaker 3: The next on her list was her freaking boyfriend, dang man.

423
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 3: I imagine that there's more in the drawers. I don't

424
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,040
Speaker 3: know if this was the right thing to do, but

425
00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:11,720
Speaker 3: I left them there for now because I don't want

426
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,000
Speaker 3: there to be any doubts that she stole them. There's

427
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,880
Speaker 3: zero chance she's going to live here anyway. By the way,

428
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:21,199
Speaker 3: there's zero chance that we are not constantly posting things.

429
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 3: So just check us out on Spotify, Apple Podcast, whatever

430
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 3: your favorite podcast app is, sech Okay, story Time find

431
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:31,639
Speaker 3: more stories and episodes just like this one. Freaking dude,

432
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 3: wit dude. And there is a tiny bit more. I'm

433
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 3: just gonna roll right into it, right into it. Honestly,

434
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 3: I hope she does get help. I'm really angry and violated,

435
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,480
Speaker 3: as is my boyfriend. But I can empathize with the

436
00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,440
Speaker 3: havoc and uncontrolled mental health as you can wreck on

437
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,199
Speaker 3: your behavior, and while it's still wrong, it's still for

438
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,119
Speaker 3: her to experience it and lose friends.

439
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 2: Note.

440
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,040
Speaker 3: I can't be sure, none of us can, but I

441
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 3: feel like maybe she has a histriotic personality disorder.

442
00:19:59,400 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 2: PS.

443
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 3: Mutual friend has told me another friend who went to

444
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 3: school with my housemate, had told her a rumor that

445
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,800
Speaker 3: she told a bunch of other people in their year

446
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 3: that she had leukemia. Yikes, So she made up a

447
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,840
Speaker 3: rumor about herself having had an answer.

448
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,960
Speaker 2: Oh my god, yikes, dude, what is who is this girl?

449
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:21,200
Speaker 2: This crazy? That's stop easy? Wow?

450
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 3: That would have been like a good warning, yeah to

451
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:27,000
Speaker 3: have before. Yeah, someone should have let her know. Yes,

452
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:31,439
Speaker 3: by the way, she will answer everything, dude, that's crazy.

453
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,920
Speaker 3: That's the end of that story.

454
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 2: My ex boyfriend's brother despises me, so I ruined his relationship.

455
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 2: Sounds pretty fair to me. Go ahead throw awa account

456
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,720
Speaker 2: because there might be someone here also apologies for language

457
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 2: and mistiques. So this happened years ago. Me twenty five

458
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,120
Speaker 2: female at the time, and my ex twenty five male

459
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,520
Speaker 2: at the time, are quite serious. We have met each

460
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,399
Speaker 2: other's parents and both our family have been introduced to

461
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,640
Speaker 2: each other. By the way, this comes from maybe Fried

462
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,600
Speaker 2: Potato and if you want to submit your own stories,

463
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,760
Speaker 2: go to our slash Shoky storytime Supperate. It safe to

464
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,480
Speaker 2: say all we need to do is plan our wedding

465
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 2: and our future. Even though we have only been in

466
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 2: a relationship for less than a year. My ex will

467
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 2: call him Eric, had a brother, we'll call him Jack,

468
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,000
Speaker 2: who had already been in a relationship for two years

469
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,439
Speaker 2: with Jane big name. Obviously, Jack and I were not close,

470
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,920
Speaker 2: and I just didn't vibe with him or with Jane.

471
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 2: All our encounters usually consisted of just greeting each other

472
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 2: when I visited Eric at his work. Eric and Jack

473
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 2: both opened a clothing stores, so besides being siblings, they

474
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 2: were also business partners. I myself was working in nine

475
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 2: to five, and so was Jane. Since Eric and I

476
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 2: became a thing, I often spent time helping him around

477
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:40,840
Speaker 2: his store after my job was done. Because of his

478
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 2: busy schedule, we rarely had time to go out, so

479
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,160
Speaker 2: I thought that could count as our time together. Jane,

480
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 2: on the other hand, rarely visited the store. She and

481
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,400
Speaker 2: Jack usually had date nights or whatever. And that's fair

482
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,560
Speaker 2: for Jane. Maybe being in the store wasn't her cup

483
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,920
Speaker 2: of tea, and she loved going out, Maybe because Jack

484
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 2: was the type of guy who was very loyal and

485
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 2: always gave Jane whatever she wanted. I had no problem

486
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 2: with that, not my relationship, but I noticed Jack was

487
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 2: not working as often as before. The working system between

488
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 2: Eric and Jack was shift based. Usually Eric would be

489
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 2: at the store from opening around ten until maybe four

490
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,640
Speaker 2: in the afternoon, and Jack would come from four till

491
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 2: closing at eight. Every other day they would switch shifts,

492
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 2: but since I started hanging out the store, Jack would

493
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 2: often come at five or six, so his shift only

494
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 2: lasted two to three hours. That pissed me and Eric off.

495
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 2: I loved Eric, but I still valued my time. Plus,

496
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,040
Speaker 2: at that time, Eric had not proposed to me yet,

497
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 2: so technically I was not part of their family. Why

498
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 2: would I use my time and let people not appreciate it.

499
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 2: I told Eric my thoughts and he understood, so I

500
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 2: no longer hung out at the store. Eric also talked

501
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,359
Speaker 2: to his mother, but his mother took Jack's side, saying

502
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 2: that Jack also at a side job and that Eric

503
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 2: also often came late. Eric came late once after picking

504
00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 2: me up to the store. We were stuck because of

505
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:56,560
Speaker 2: heavy rain and all the streets were flooded up to

506
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 2: our upper thighs. Dang, what did she expect us to do?

507
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 2: Sounds like a little bit of Golden Child going on here. Yeah.

508
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 2: One night, Eric's mother invited me and my family, my

509
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,840
Speaker 2: mom and my brother for dinner at a nearby restaurant.

510
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 2: We agreed. The dinner went well. Jack and Jane were

511
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 2: also there. Maybe they had started to feel the inconvenience

512
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 2: of my absence at the store. Because Eric's mom asked

513
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 2: why I didn't come to the store anymore. I got

514
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 2: quiet for a while, contemplating which personality I could let

515
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 2: out that day. Fortunately for them, my nice side was

516
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 2: strong that night. I said I was just tired and

517
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 2: usually didn't help much, so I didn't want to bother Eric.

518
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 2: You did not push further. My surprise, Jack started ordering beer.

519
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 2: It surprised me because I didn't know this dinner was

520
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 2: supposed to be that casual, especially with my brother and

521
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 2: mother around, as this was only their second time meeting

522
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,199
Speaker 2: each other and the first time meeting Jack. But I

523
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 2: wasn't going to be the one paying the bills, so

524
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,240
Speaker 2: I shut my mouth. After dinner, Eric's father started speaking

525
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 2: about why they had invited us. They planned to give

526
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 2: Eric full control of his store, and they had also

527
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 2: bought a small house that was in the middle of renovation.

528
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,720
Speaker 2: They were also planning to give one of their cars

529
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,200
Speaker 2: as my dowry. Parasian so it's not rare for parents

530
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 2: to provide a dowry for the bride. This was also

531
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 2: a moment for them to flex their wealth. My brother

532
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 2: told them that it was very nice of them, but

533
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,000
Speaker 2: we wouldn't be needing the car, as my brother had

534
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 2: already bought one for me, And in a moment of pettiness,

535
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,359
Speaker 2: my mother said, you only have two cars, and Eric's

536
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 2: brother seems to depend on them more, so maybe it

537
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 2: would be better to give it to him. As for Eric,

538
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 2: we could take care of him. I bit my lip

539
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 2: to make sure I didn't smile. My mother and brother

540
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 2: already knew how unfairly Eric was treated in his family,

541
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,360
Speaker 2: how unfair you ask. His mother and father flew out

542
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,720
Speaker 2: to a different city on Eric's birthday, exactly on the

543
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 2: day of his birthday. For what you ask? To enjoy

544
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 2: a lovely vacation with Eric's mother's siblings on your son's birthday,

545
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 2: the one that happens on the exact same date every year.

546
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:50,280
Speaker 2: You couldn't plan that after his birthday and on Jack's birthday,

547
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,360
Speaker 2: they planned him a party inviting extended family and everything.

548
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,880
Speaker 2: So yeah, how unfair you ask?

549
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 3: Wow wild man?

550
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 2: Wait, Okay, sorry, I didn't register. They gave Jack an

551
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:07,440
Speaker 2: entire land out family gathering birthday and left the country

552
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 2: for Eric.

553
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, because they wanted to. They wanted to spend family

554
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:16,200
Speaker 3: time with other family members on Eric's birthday.

555
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 2: Eric clearly isn't family. I guess not anyway. Maybe Eric's

556
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 2: mother and father sensed my mother's tone so they didn't

557
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 2: say anything further. Jack and Jane also didn't say anything.

558
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:28,879
Speaker 2: But Jack kept drinking beer and I noticed he started

559
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 2: getting a little red, but wasn't tipsy yet. Maybe this

560
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 2: decision was Eric's father's and Jack couldn't change his mind.

561
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,880
Speaker 2: That's why he was pissed. Eric's father got the bill

562
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 2: and we stood from our table. Our table was on

563
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 2: the second floor, so we needed to walk down in

564
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,640
Speaker 2: order to leave the restaurant. This is where it got

565
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 2: juicy or dangerous. Uh oh, Jack pushed me down the stairs.

566
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 2: Is this a child of what's going on? This is

567
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 2: a psycho child? What is happening? Yes, I said or

568
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 2: wrote it right. Everyone saw it. Eric and my brother

569
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 2: rushed to help me and make sure I was okay.

570
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 2: My head high five the wall. So I got dizzy

571
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 2: and I got pain all over my body from rolling

572
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 2: down the stairs. Oh my god. So it wasn't just

573
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 2: like a oh trip, It was like a room boom

574
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:18,520
Speaker 2: boom boom. Jeez, man, can you like arrest this man

575
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 2: for assault? Probably like like, if you push someone down

576
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 2: the stairs, that feels like a crime.

577
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 3: I'm sure, and they have a bunch of witnesses. You

578
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,000
Speaker 3: can die from that. Yeah, your head wrong.

579
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 2: Both of Eric's parents yelled at Jack for his actions.

580
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:32,919
Speaker 2: My mom was mad at all of them. Eric and

581
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 2: my brother kept badgering me to make sure I was okay.

582
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 2: All the noise just made the pain in my head worse.

583
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 2: I yelled at them to be quiet. The restaurant's staff

584
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 2: ushered us into the VIP room after seeing what happened,

585
00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,320
Speaker 2: not only to make sure I didn't have any serious injuries,

586
00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 2: but also to avoid further commotion. Eric's mother asked if

587
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 2: I was okay and apologized for Jack's behavior. At the time,

588
00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,840
Speaker 2: I was tired and pissed, so my petty personality took over.

589
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 2: I told her that what Jack did was not acceptable

590
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,640
Speaker 2: and be resolved with just an apology because he had

591
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 2: tried to harm me. So Eric's mother asked what they

592
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: could do to make it right, and this is where

593
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:10,160
Speaker 2: I became an a whole. I told her, well, since

594
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 2: Jack has a problem with Eric but took it out

595
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,360
Speaker 2: on me, it's only fair if Eric does the same

596
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 2: to Jane. Oh. Now, I know that was an a

597
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 2: whole move, but in my mind, this is what I

598
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 2: expected to happen. Jack would protest that it wasn't fair

599
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 2: since I had a problem with him and not with Jane,

600
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 2: and I could say, yeah, exactly, so why would you

601
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,960
Speaker 2: harm me if you had a problem with your sibling,

602
00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 2: But to my surprise, he said nothing. He got quiet.

603
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 2: Everyone got quiet. My mother, brother, and Eric getting quiet

604
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 2: was normal. They knew me well enough to know my intention.

605
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 2: But Jack and his family, on the other hand, were

606
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 2: just going to accept my request. Jane, I'm getting the

607
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 2: heck out of here. I'm getting the heck out of there.

608
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,520
Speaker 2: He gets silent, and then everyone just everyone goes Jane

609
00:27:52,600 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 2: and she's like, please, that's great. I'm run either, dude.

610
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 2: I saw Jane go pale as the silence got longer.

611
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:08,040
Speaker 2: She looked at Jack with disbelief. So I broke the silence. Wow,

612
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 2: you're really gonna let it happen, I asked Jack. He

613
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 2: said nothing, And that alone explain what kind of a

614
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:16,159
Speaker 2: person was food. But I know what kind of a

615
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 2: person you guys are if you listen to full episodes

616
00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 2: with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

617
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 2: or your favorite podcast app and search a Pokus story time.

618
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 2: But there's a little bit left in this story. Do

619
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 2: you have any thoughts? Because that was insane, that was crazy,

620
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 2: that's wild. Her sarcastic advice.

621
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 3: I think, like that's just a perfect example of it

622
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,239
Speaker 3: being like, you know, she has this example or this

623
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 3: hypothetical thing of like, oh well, if this was fair

624
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 3: to do to me, then it must be fair to

625
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 3: do to her. Trying to point out how ridiculous it

626
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 3: would be. And then everyone is like, hmm, that's a

627
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:49,479
Speaker 3: good point.

628
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 2: I didn't think about that. You're right.

629
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 3: She's like wait, wait, wait, wait, what like no, no, no, no, no, goot,

630
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 3: a bunch of psychopaths in this family. You're crazy, Jane,

631
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 3: the family. Yeah, he's got to leave the family. And

632
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 3: then they become best friends exactly, And there we have it.

633
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 3: My brother told me it was better for me to

634
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 3: go to the hospital just in case.

635
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 2: I agreed. My brother and mother left first to get

636
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 2: her car, while Eric stayed with me. I turned to

637
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 2: Jane and told her, we're not close and I have

638
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,480
Speaker 2: nothing against you, but girl, the girl, do you really

639
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 2: want to stay with this kind of man, the one

640
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 2: who's going to let you suffer the consequences of his actions.

641
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 2: She stared at me like I had just given her

642
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:27,800
Speaker 2: the motivational speech of the year. After that incident, Jane

643
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:32,040
Speaker 2: and Jack broke up. Yeah, let's go. Jack despised me

644
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 2: even more. Unfortunately, Eric and I broke up a year later.

645
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know what we don't know why

646
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 2: you guys broke up. Buddy doesn't have the best family. Yeah,

647
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:45,120
Speaker 2: dang man, that was a lot that was a lot,

648
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,800
Speaker 2: a lot, a lot crazy. I can't believe you just

649
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 2: got pushed down the stairs because Eric's brother was like,

650
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 2: wait with him. That's wild. See.

651
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 3: That's kind of a good example of like, you know,

652
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 3: when you're dating someone, they might have a crazy family.

653
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 2: And you don't know.

654
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 3: You're not dating no, like you're not dating for you know,

655
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 3: the other person's family.

656
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 2: You're dating for them.

657
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 5: But sometimes the other family is so crazy that John

658
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 5: stands you just can't do it because that's yeah, that's

659
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:18,040
Speaker 5: like it's your safety is no involved, truly, and that's

660
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 5: the biggest red flag.

661
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 2: And that's the long and short of it. Dang. But

662
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 2: that is the end of that story and the end

663
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 2: of this episode. So if you love us, make sure

664
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 2: to subscribe, you love you and see it all. John.

665
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,400
Speaker 1: Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story, but

666
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

667
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 2: My mother in law is bad mouthing me behind my back,

668
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 2: So I drew a line. You draw that line, girl.

669
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 2: So I've had major issues with my mother in law

670
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 2: in the past, the point where I blocked her. I

671
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 2: gave birth to my daughter, also the first grandchild for

672
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 2: them in September. I am exclusively no bottles, pumping, et cetera,

673
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 2: and have had a hard time with the baby. Honestly,

674
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,080
Speaker 2: by the way, this comes from DJ fourteen eighteen, and

675
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your stories, go to our

676
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,800
Speaker 2: slush Okay storytime Separate it so. She had oral ties

677
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 2: that had to be revised, a major dairyology and colic.

678
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 2: Now at ten weeks, we are finally getting a grip

679
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,600
Speaker 2: on things, but we're still struggling some She literally won't

680
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 2: sleep anywhere but on me and hates anyone else holding her.

681
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,040
Speaker 2: With that being said, my mother in law and I

682
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 2: have a rocky relationship, but I'm trying. I unblocked her

683
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 2: one month before the baby came and have been trying

684
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:27,280
Speaker 2: to build a relationship. She is overbearing, expects to see

685
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 2: the baby constantly and text us for updates every single day.

686
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,479
Speaker 2: I have had two or three separate conversations with her

687
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 2: in the last three months about expectations. My spouse and

688
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 2: I even went to counseling over this. I told her

689
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 2: what we talked about and how I didn't know how

690
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 2: to explain to someone what a normal amount of communication

691
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 2: and time spent would be. It could be two weeks

692
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 2: before she sees the baby, or we could see her

693
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,720
Speaker 2: three times in a week. It just depends on what's

694
00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:53,760
Speaker 2: going on in our lives. Spouse and I also bought

695
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,120
Speaker 2: a house right before the baby was born. We are

696
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,280
Speaker 2: finishing our basement. We own a business, and we had

697
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 2: an employee wit while I was on maternity leave. Mother

698
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,520
Speaker 2: in law knows all of this. The reason I'm posting

699
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 2: I suspected she was trash talking me because family members

700
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,200
Speaker 2: and friends of hers started deleting and even blocking me

701
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,239
Speaker 2: on social media, but technically I had no proof it

702
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 2: was because of her, and my spouse wouldn't listen. Yesterday,

703
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 2: her niece, my spouse's cousin, came to visit the baby.

704
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 2: She told us that his mom had been telling everyone

705
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 2: I'm being unreasonable and that I'm just trying to keep

706
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 2: her from seeing my baby. She claims that everyone else

707
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 2: is allowed to visit whenever they want, but mother in

708
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 2: law can't, et cetera. The cousin said she wanted my

709
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 2: side of the story. I was vague with my side

710
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 2: because I don't feel the need to defend myself. They

711
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 2: all already believe her anyway, and I'm not like her.

712
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 2: The issues lie between us, and I don't feel like

713
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 2: it's anyone else's business. This cousin was also one of

714
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 2: the people who deleted me from socials, and I wasn't

715
00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 2: even sure I wanted her to visit anyway. None of

716
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 2: this is true. My mother in law has been over

717
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 2: to see the baby more than literally anyone else in

718
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 2: our lives. My sister stayed for a week when the

719
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 2: baby was born to spend time with the baby, but

720
00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 2: to support me postpartum, which is what people should be offering. Absolutely,

721
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 2: it should be offering to help you the person who

722
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 2: just gave birth. Yeah, she helped me learn to clean

723
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 2: my whole house for a week and cooked us sixty

724
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 2: freezer meals so I wouldn't have to worry. She lives

725
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,240
Speaker 2: two hours away, and even that was the most time

726
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 2: she has spent with us due to having her own family.

727
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 2: I just cannot wrap my head around all this. I

728
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 2: don't feel like I have my spouse's support, and it's

729
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 2: making me want to go no contact with his mom again. Also,

730
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,240
Speaker 2: why would I want someone who talks about me like

731
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 2: that to the whole family around my child. My spouse

732
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,760
Speaker 2: has said nothing, and I'm fed up. He doesn't understand.

733
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 2: He told me all he wanted was for me to

734
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 2: try with his mom, and I have, but she's still

735
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 2: talking crap about me. I'm just tired. I don't have

736
00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 2: the energy for this. The fact that she did this

737
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 2: throughout my whole pregnancy and now while I'm postpartum dealing

738
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 2: with various issues with my child while also being an FtM,

739
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 2: is so selfish. It is making me genuinely hate her

740
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 2: at this point. If she really loved and cared about

741
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 2: us in any way, she would be understanding and not

742
00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 2: making our lives harder. My spouse's response, I'm really upset

743
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 2: with him because he has only said something to her once,

744
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 2: so frustrating. This is why you have a problem with

745
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,280
Speaker 2: your mother in law, because your husband is not putting

746
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 2: up any boundaries. Yeah, the conversations I have had with

747
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,160
Speaker 2: her were ones I wanted him to have, but he refused,

748
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 2: so I finally had them myself and made sure he

749
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 2: was there when I did. I feel like this is

750
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,360
Speaker 2: his mother and he should be standing up for me

751
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,320
Speaker 2: and addressing her behavior, but he just isn't. He should

752
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 2: be absolutely, he won't even listen to me when I

753
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 2: bring it up. Then weeks later he'll say I already

754
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:40,200
Speaker 2: talked to him about it and doesn't understand why I'm

755
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 2: still bringing it up. Except he never responds, He looks

756
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 2: at me or doesn't when I talk about it, and

757
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 2: he has nothing to say. He claims it's between mother

758
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,760
Speaker 2: in law and me and that he can't do anything

759
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,720
Speaker 2: about it. I hate this man. Divorce. Come on, come on, man,

760
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 2: it's your mom. Yeah, like he has nothing to do

761
00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 2: with it. If your partner is having a problem with

762
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 2: your parent, you are the mediator.

763
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, you are the go between. Like, sorry, don't know

764
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:06,279
Speaker 3: what to tell you.

765
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,240
Speaker 2: It's just true. Even his cousin told him that maybe

766
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,399
Speaker 2: mother in law just needed to hear it from him,

767
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,359
Speaker 2: not me, because coming for me, it sounds like it's

768
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 2: just what I want, not what we want. So therefore,

769
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:20,000
Speaker 2: in their eyes, I'm just an unreasonable person who doesn't

770
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 2: like his mom or water around mostly just venting. But

771
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 2: what would you do in this situation? And there is

772
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 2: an update? Honestly, I think you need to sit your

773
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 2: husband down and say, hey, we might need to go

774
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 2: to marriage counseling because you're not listening to me and

775
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,719
Speaker 2: you are putting all of this pressure on me to

776
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 2: sort out my relationship with your mom when you need

777
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:38,399
Speaker 2: to pull some weight around here.

778
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, like if you were having an issue with my mom,

779
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 3: I would step in because as a partner or like

780
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:47,879
Speaker 3: a child in law, you don't have as much say

781
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 3: as the actual blood child. You know, you just don't,

782
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,200
Speaker 3: so you gotta let it come from the husband.

783
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 2: True, but let's get into this update and see what

784
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 2: hope he does exactly what the title says. I'm not

785
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 2: going to rant much about our history, but I recently

786
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 2: we found out mother in law has been talking crap

787
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,239
Speaker 2: on me to my in laws. You can see the

788
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:06,480
Speaker 2: post of my HISTORYM and I contemplated not going to

789
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:10,759
Speaker 2: Thanksgiving yesterday, but I decided since I am exclusively breastfeeding,

790
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 2: not pumping, and my baby can't go without me, and

791
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,800
Speaker 2: mother in law is the biggest issue, and I wanted

792
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,359
Speaker 2: to see some of the family that I do love

793
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,399
Speaker 2: and get along with father in law's side, I would

794
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 2: try to go, And also for my spouse's sake, my

795
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 2: baby is ten weeks old and hates the carrier, so

796
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 2: I was originally going to baby where, but that was

797
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,759
Speaker 2: not an option, so I had to tell everyone we

798
00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:32,840
Speaker 2: weren't going to be passing her around since she's so

799
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,359
Speaker 2: little and its six season. My mother in law didn't

800
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:37,960
Speaker 2: say hi to me, didn't make literally any type of

801
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 2: conversation with me. I could tell she was pissed that

802
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 2: we weren't going to let her hold baby. Came up

803
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 2: and spoke to my baby one time, and at a

804
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 2: time when I had walked away from the crowd because

805
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 2: she was getting tired and fussy, so it was literally

806
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,960
Speaker 2: the worst time to interrupt. I just walked away from

807
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 2: her until she got the picture. But she didn't say

808
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 2: a word to me, and I couldn't be happier. On

809
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 2: a side note, I hate this for spouse really because

810
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 2: she ignored him too, But hopefully this is eye opening

811
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 2: for him as well. He needs some eye opening. He

812
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 2: needs her to like behave badly to him too, because

813
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 2: it's a hymn problem and it always has been a

814
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 2: hymn problem too. Yeah. Update two, I'm not sure if

815
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 2: this is allowed, but I just wanted to express that

816
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:16,399
Speaker 2: with some of the issues I've been having with mother

817
00:37:16,440 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 2: in law and my significant other in turn, it has

818
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 2: caused me to do a ton of self reflection research

819
00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 2: and I am seeking out therapy for myself. Hopefully we'll

820
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,200
Speaker 2: also get couple's therapy, but he's not wanting to go

821
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:31,200
Speaker 2: back at the moment. I came across the term inmeshment

822
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 2: and have never heard the term before, but oh my god,

823
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,399
Speaker 2: this is my situation to a te this is why

824
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 2: it's mother in law but also significant other. All this time.

825
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 2: It's not his fault and he feels it's normal, which

826
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 2: we know and I've discussed previously in therapy, but now

827
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,439
Speaker 2: I have a word to describe the relationship and what's

828
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,279
Speaker 2: going on. It's not necessarily that she wants to date

829
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 2: him or is creepy in that sense, though I've often

830
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:57,360
Speaker 2: wondered if it borders this, but it's because I was

831
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 2: uneducated on things such as enmeshment. She is a mootionally

832
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,720
Speaker 2: dependent on him, and in return, he is emotionally dependent

833
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 2: on her. Whether they realize it, I don't think they do.

834
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 2: Now that I have learned this term, I am seeing

835
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 2: things in a whole new light and everything is making so

836
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 2: much sense. If you don't know what it is, look

837
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 2: it up. It may be eye opening for you as

838
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:21,320
Speaker 2: it has been for me. And there is a third update. Wow, yeah,

839
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,919
Speaker 2: I would say they are definitely a little bit too

840
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,839
Speaker 2: tied up together because he's like, Oh, I'm my MoMA's boy,

841
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 2: and I don't want to upset my mom. Yeah exactly.

842
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,440
Speaker 2: But it's like, well, what if she's doing upsetting things? Yeah,

843
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,560
Speaker 2: what if she is doing things to actively hinder peace

844
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:38,879
Speaker 2: in our life? What are you gonna do? You're gonna

845
00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:40,799
Speaker 2: stand up for yourself. You gotta sit there on the

846
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 2: sidelines like a coward. Update three so you can look

847
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 2: at my past posts and see what we've been dealing

848
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,880
Speaker 2: with recently. Basically, in laws invited us for Christmas Eve dinner,

849
00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 2: which I was not going to go anyway because they

850
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 2: refuse to accommodate my little one's dairy allergy. I'm rising.

851
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 2: And she said she was making chicken palm. Oh I see,

852
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 2: because ohp can't eat that stuff because it would affect them. Okay, see,

853
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 2: I'm still not interacting with mother in law after she's

854
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 2: been spreading lives about me and my family had Christmas

855
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,000
Speaker 2: on Christmas Day this year and I had food to prepare,

856
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 2: presents to wrap, et cetera. They never gave my spouse

857
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 2: a time and typically dinner is meant four to six pm.

858
00:39:17,239 --> 00:39:19,840
Speaker 2: In the past, they live very close and my spouse

859
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 2: was going to follow up at three pm or so

860
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 2: to see when mother in law wanted him to come.

861
00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,080
Speaker 2: At two pm, she texted him and said, I guess

862
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 2: you're not coming. He immediately called and texted her, and

863
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 2: she read his text and ignored him, so he didn't go.

864
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,120
Speaker 2: That's it. That's the drama this week the kind of

865
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 2: update to my previous posts. Significant other is starting to

866
00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,600
Speaker 2: come around and see his mother in law's behavior for

867
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:44,960
Speaker 2: what they truly are. I think it's just hard for

868
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,760
Speaker 2: him because it's been his norm and it's his mom.

869
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 2: He finally had a full conversation with me about the

870
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 2: recent drama in my previous posts and agrees that mother

871
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,920
Speaker 2: in law is overbearing and overstepping and in the wrong.

872
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 2: We are still figuring out what to do that is

873
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 2: best for us family, so she'll just have to wait

874
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 2: while we process her lies in crap talking. But with

875
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 2: Christmas Eve, she's not helping her case with my spouse,

876
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 2: that's for sure. I'll update when we decide to have

877
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,839
Speaker 2: a conversation with mother in law and father in law

878
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,680
Speaker 2: or to give you a Christmas drama because we were

879
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:16,840
Speaker 2: having a big Christmas gathering for his family this weekend,

880
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 2: to be continued into the next update. Wow, it keeps

881
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 2: going so many updates, I think you just got to

882
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 2: combine them. Opie Update four. So, as I stated in

883
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 2: my other post, I was struggling with my s O

884
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:33,280
Speaker 2: a bit. He's not used to saying no, we're setting

885
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,720
Speaker 2: boundaries with his family, and this has been a challenge

886
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:37,880
Speaker 2: for him. He doesn't like to talk about it or

887
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 2: entertain conflict of any sort. That's obvious. So we took

888
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,439
Speaker 2: a month and I had several multiple conversations with him

889
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,280
Speaker 2: until I felt like we were on the same page,

890
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,919
Speaker 2: and also to let myself cool down. I'm three months

891
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,360
Speaker 2: postpartum and I'm having a hard time with my emotions

892
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 2: as well. I finally felt like we were on the

893
00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 2: same page. I feel like there's a shoe that's about

894
00:40:58,480 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 2: to be dropped.

895
00:40:59,719 --> 00:40:59,919
Speaker 3: Yeah.

896
00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we had mother in law and father in

897
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:06,680
Speaker 2: law over and my spouse initiated a conversation. He pointed

898
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 2: out that we are disappointed in mother in law's behavior,

899
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,240
Speaker 2: that it is causing animosity and stress that we shouldn't

900
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:13,879
Speaker 2: have to be dealing with in this time in our

901
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,480
Speaker 2: lives and that it is making me uncomfortable to the

902
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 2: point that I don't even want to go to family

903
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 2: events because I don't know who's saying what about me,

904
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:23,719
Speaker 2: and I don't feel supported in my decisions as a

905
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 2: mother or our decisions as a family. They have continued

906
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 2: to pressure us stuff more visits with them, even though

907
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 2: they know we have had quite a rough time with

908
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:34,600
Speaker 2: little one in her first few months of life, not

909
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 2: including other aspects of her life the business, buying the house,

910
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: finishing the basement, et cetera. I really feel like he

911
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 2: did a great job standing up for me. I'm very proud.

912
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,480
Speaker 2: As far as mother in law and father in law's responses,

913
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 2: she tried to argue and say they weren't pressuring us

914
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,879
Speaker 2: for more visitation. I doubt that the whole time they've

915
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 2: been pressuring for visitation. I don't think that they're gonna

916
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:56,880
Speaker 2: be like, oh no, that's not what we want. What

917
00:41:56,920 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 2: are you talking about. We've never complained about that, right.

918
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,600
Speaker 2: Maybe the significant other is putting in some work, but

919
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,440
Speaker 2: not enough for me. My spouse cut her off and

920
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 2: said that when he had FaceTime them and discussed her

921
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:11,040
Speaker 2: talking crap about me, that was the biggest topic of

922
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:13,759
Speaker 2: that conversation, so we called her out for again not

923
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:17,640
Speaker 2: being truthful. All right, we're making some progress. Father in

924
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 2: law pointed out that I am very non traditional and

925
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 2: it is something that they are having to get used to,

926
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 2: which I agree with and I'm understanding of to an extent.

927
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 2: Mother in law said she didn't understand why I had

928
00:42:27,560 --> 00:42:30,279
Speaker 2: issues with her and not father in law. I told her,

929
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 2: it doesn't feel like he's judging me or pressuring me

930
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 2: when he asks questions or when we have discussions. She,

931
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:38,720
Speaker 2: on the other hand, is forceful, and it feels like judgment,

932
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,239
Speaker 2: like it's her way or the highway type of deal.

933
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,000
Speaker 2: A situation that was discussed that I hadn't mentioned prior.

934
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 2: They brought a family member to our home on one

935
00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 2: occasion when I was very newly postpartum without telling or

936
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 2: asking us. That's not okay with a little baby at home,

937
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 2: and you don't even say like, hey, they're coming over.

938
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:59,319
Speaker 2: Not cool. Later we discussed that we would like them

939
00:42:59,320 --> 00:43:01,840
Speaker 2: to let us know if they're bringing people to our home.

940
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 2: Mother in law told said family member and they all

941
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 2: took it personally. Now that family member has ignored me

942
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,000
Speaker 2: at all family events etc. This is crazy, you dumb idiot.

943
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,840
Speaker 2: I hate them. Why are you making so many problems

944
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 2: when this parent is just trying to take care of

945
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 2: their kid. Yeah, come on, leave her alone, Leave her alone.

946
00:43:21,840 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 2: We also discussed their friends who are family friends. My

947
00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,760
Speaker 2: spouse is close with three or four different couples blocking

948
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:30,760
Speaker 2: and deleting me on social media. Mother in law claim

949
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,359
Speaker 2: she had new idea why except for one of them.

950
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 2: She said it was because I had blocked that person

951
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,000
Speaker 2: for a time when we were in the thick of

952
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 2: it during my pregnancy. I told her how uncomfortable I

953
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 2: am around three of the four couples, and that because

954
00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 2: they're such a large part of my spouse's life, I'm

955
00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 2: not sure what to do to make things better. However,

956
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:49,720
Speaker 2: I never did anything to them in the first place,

957
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 2: So the issue is that mother in law was talking

958
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 2: negatively about me. She insisted she should be able to

959
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,680
Speaker 2: talk to her family and friends. We also discussed family

960
00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 2: that deleted slash blocked me on social media opie is

961
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:04,279
Speaker 2: just getting like everyone's oh my gosh, and said that

962
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 2: if they reacted that way, it wasn't because she told

963
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 2: them to. I obviously never thought she directly told them

964
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,600
Speaker 2: to block me. I think she was just talking crap

965
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 2: and giving one sided stories. I told her, it's not

966
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 2: fair that I'm an individual and an outsider coming into

967
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,960
Speaker 2: this family, yet she's spreading things about me when I

968
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:23,040
Speaker 2: barely had a chance to form personal relationships with these people.

969
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 2: Sometimes you can't just talk to everyone about everything. I

970
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 2: told her she should have come to me or us

971
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 2: if she had issues or concerns. She also complained that

972
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:32,719
Speaker 2: she cried on Christmas Day because we didn't spend it

973
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,759
Speaker 2: with them, saying everyone was asking her if we were,

974
00:44:36,120 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 2: but we had discussed this earlier in the year. We

975
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 2: do every other holiday with his family and mine. This

976
00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:43,719
Speaker 2: year it was Thanksgiving Day with them and Christmas Day

977
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 2: with my family. Next year they will have Christmas Day.

978
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,840
Speaker 2: I told her being disappointed or unfamiliar with our boundaries

979
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 2: is okay, but saying whatever she is saying in the

980
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,120
Speaker 2: heat of the moment to family and friends is not okay.

981
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 2: She is painting me as a monster, when in fact,

982
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 2: all the boundaries we have placed are our boundary as

983
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:04,799
Speaker 2: a family. Singling me out is unacceptable. I don't know

984
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:06,799
Speaker 2: if I missed anything, but I just told them they

985
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,400
Speaker 2: can ask questions about things they are unfamiliar with, or

986
00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:12,160
Speaker 2: when they have concerns, we can find common ground or

987
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:15,719
Speaker 2: reiterate that these are our decisions, but nothing will ever

988
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,560
Speaker 2: get better if she keeps discussing her issues with everyone

989
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:21,759
Speaker 2: but us. It's much better to just sweep all the

990
00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:24,120
Speaker 2: issues into a nice neat pile so you can deal

991
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 2: with them instead of casting them everywhere, because then you

992
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 2: gotta like go around and it's like fifty card pickup

993
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 2: takes forever exactly. It's like you have like an.

994
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 3: Issue tree, and instead of going straight for the roots,

995
00:45:36,480 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 3: you're just like pruning the leaves over and over, and

996
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 3: it's like, what's that gonna do nothing.

997
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,319
Speaker 2: Some of the things we've done that she has taken

998
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:46,880
Speaker 2: issue with include I had a home birth instead of

999
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,719
Speaker 2: going to the hospital. We are delaying vaccinations and maybe

1000
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 2: not doing all of them. Edit to add this has

1001
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 2: been discussed at length with our pediatrician. I'm not looking

1002
00:45:54,160 --> 00:45:57,000
Speaker 2: for medical opinions. We co sleep with our child. We

1003
00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:59,360
Speaker 2: don't let them show up uninvited whenever they want, and

1004
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,359
Speaker 2: we don't allow them to hold her at a large

1005
00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 2: family gathering since she's so young. We also discussed the

1006
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,759
Speaker 2: cousin confronting me about what mother in law has to

1007
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 2: say about me. Mother in law kept claiming that the

1008
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 2: cousin was in the wrong and that she never said

1009
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 2: any of those things to her, insisting that the cousin

1010
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 2: had no right to come to me. I disagreed and

1011
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,600
Speaker 2: said I understood why she came to us. She loves

1012
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 2: mother in law and was obviously trying to help resolve

1013
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 2: a situation that was upsetting her. Regardless of what mother

1014
00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 2: in law did or didn't actually say, she implied or

1015
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 2: made the cousin think these things by the way she

1016
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 2: spoke to her. Again, the bottom line is that she

1017
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 2: is painting a horrible picture of me to friends and family.

1018
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 2: I am the newest member and an outsider, and she

1019
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:40,880
Speaker 2: is causing them to see me in a certain way,

1020
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:44,280
Speaker 2: when in reality, these are our decisions as a family.

1021
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,600
Speaker 2: I had previously told her, due to the issues we

1022
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,839
Speaker 2: were already having, that I wasn't comfortable spending alone time

1023
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:51,880
Speaker 2: with her, and that she could visit when my spouse

1024
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:54,720
Speaker 2: was around. She brought that up again, saying how shocked

1025
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:56,920
Speaker 2: and taken aback she was. I told her she had

1026
00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:00,279
Speaker 2: time to respond and or process that information. And come

1027
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 2: back at a later date to discuss it, but instead

1028
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,919
Speaker 2: of doing that, she went and gossiped about it with everyone.

1029
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 2: Stop girl. The majority of the conversation was about her

1030
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:12,840
Speaker 2: speaking to everyone about us, but more so me, not

1031
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:15,520
Speaker 2: coming to us if she has concerns, and not respecting

1032
00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,239
Speaker 2: our boundaries as a family. I also reiterated from our

1033
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 2: last conversation that healing takes time and that hopefully we

1034
00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:23,400
Speaker 2: will get to a point where I am comfortable with

1035
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 2: her alone. However, I cannot tell her a low long

1036
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:28,919
Speaker 2: that we'll take. She just needs to give it time

1037
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 2: and stop giving us reasons to take steps backward instead

1038
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 2: of forward. Looking back. Now that the conversation is over,

1039
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:37,919
Speaker 2: we didn't discuss that boundaries have been an issue since

1040
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 2: before I was even in the picture. This is on

1041
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:42,600
Speaker 2: my spouse, and I feel it's not my place to

1042
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 2: bring it up, but he has complained to me about

1043
00:47:44,680 --> 00:47:46,800
Speaker 2: it in the past. I also think we should have

1044
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 2: mentioned that some of the things we share with them

1045
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 2: are personal and not meant to be spread to every

1046
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,399
Speaker 2: single family member and friend. That might also be part

1047
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,000
Speaker 2: of the issue. She admitted to sharing everything we've told

1048
00:47:57,080 --> 00:47:59,560
Speaker 2: her with multiple people. I do feel a bit better

1049
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,359
Speaker 2: about our everything. Overall, my spouse definitely had my back

1050
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 2: and stressed that he was severely disappointed in her behavior.

1051
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 2: It only took them a hot minute to come around. Honestly,

1052
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: you just have to keep having conversations with her husband

1053
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 2: to make sure that you continue to stay on the

1054
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,279
Speaker 2: same page about your mother in law. We left on

1055
00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 2: good terms, but I am still stressed and worried that

1056
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 2: we will continue to have similar issues in the future.

1057
00:48:21,120 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 2: But I guess this is all for now. Wish me

1058
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:26,360
Speaker 2: luck that this will be the final major conversation we

1059
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,080
Speaker 2: have to have with them, and then moving forward things

1060
00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 2: go smoother. Definitely feel like I missed a lot, but

1061
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:34,840
Speaker 2: I think I covered the gist of it and edit Dad,

1062
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 2: since assumptions are being made, I thought simply pointing out

1063
00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 2: that we are being supervised by a pediatrician would be enough.

1064
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 2: I never said I was anti vax or that I

1065
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 2: was definitely not going to vaccinate my child. Part of

1066
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 2: the issue I've had with mother in law is her

1067
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 2: shoving her opinions on us about vaccinations when our pediatrician

1068
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:53,040
Speaker 2: made suggestions due to issues we have seen in our

1069
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 2: child she potentially has and my family does have certain allergies.

1070
00:48:57,360 --> 00:48:59,799
Speaker 2: The vaccinations were something we had to discuss with our

1071
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 2: pe the attrition. By the way, I've got to discuss

1072
00:49:02,760 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 2: with you guys, that you can listen to full episodes

1073
00:49:05,160 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 2: of stories just like this. Just got Apple podcast, Spotify

1074
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 2: or your favorite podcast app and search a pocus right time.

1075
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,880
Speaker 2: And there's a little bit left to this story. But

1076
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 2: you any final thoughts.

1077
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 3: It's just so crazy to me, how like obvious it

1078
00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 3: is that communication is like the key to everything.

1079
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:24,200
Speaker 2: Would have solved everything so much sooner, and so many

1080
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:27,320
Speaker 2: people in this world ignore that. And also I was

1081
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,680
Speaker 2: gonna say, oh, he probably would have had a lot

1082
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:32,760
Speaker 2: less problems with the mother in law if her husband

1083
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,439
Speaker 2: had stepped in sooner. It probably wouldn't have gotten to

1084
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 2: this point where everyone in the family knows about all

1085
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 2: of your business. If he had stepped in and said, hey,

1086
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:43,799
Speaker 2: like mom, come on right, it's such an easy thing

1087
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 2: to do. But oh boy, let's see what is left.

1088
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:50,240
Speaker 2: We aren't just going against the grain or blindly choosing

1089
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 2: not to vaccinate. We are still navigating what's best for

1090
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 2: our child. This was not the main point of the post.

1091
00:49:54,800 --> 00:49:56,760
Speaker 2: This is a mother in law sub and this post

1092
00:49:56,800 --> 00:50:00,360
Speaker 2: was about her lies and overstepping boundaries, not whether I

1093
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 2: am vaccinating my child or not. I even edited the

1094
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,560
Speaker 2: post to clarify that we are being advised by a pediatrician,

1095
00:50:05,600 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 2: and I'm still getting downvoted in the comments. I guess

1096
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:10,160
Speaker 2: I'll update my flair because I was not looking for

1097
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:13,000
Speaker 2: opinions on my child's medical care in this sub or

1098
00:50:13,000 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 2: honestly anywhere on the internet. And that is the end

1099
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:18,720
Speaker 2: of that freaking story.

1100
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:23,160
Speaker 1: Man oh man, Hey, it's sam og Host. We're Gonnet

1101
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:25,600
Speaker 1: back to these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of

1102
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,520
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors to help support the show.

1103
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:30,880
Speaker 3: My mother in law is way too involved in my

1104
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:32,800
Speaker 3: wedding planning, so we took.

1105
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:34,640
Speaker 2: Away her power. Hi.

1106
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,000
Speaker 3: I'm new to Reddit and I got my post taken down,

1107
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 3: so someone suggested I come here for advice. I twenty

1108
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,160
Speaker 3: six female, have been with my fiance twenty seven male,

1109
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:45,560
Speaker 3: who will call Mark, for six years.

1110
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:47,240
Speaker 2: Those six years have been great.

1111
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 3: We've had fights and issues, but never something big that

1112
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 3: gave me a red flag. He's a great man to

1113
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:54,680
Speaker 3: me and he's always treated me so well. By the way,

1114
00:50:54,760 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 3: this comes from Mary's World, and if you want to

1115
00:50:57,560 --> 00:50:59,919
Speaker 3: submit your own stories, then go to the our slash

1116
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:00,799
Speaker 3: Okay store jumps up.

1117
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:02,920
Speaker 2: Now Here comes the issue.

1118
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,319
Speaker 3: Mark has left the wedding planning to me since he

1119
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 3: knows that I love this type of stuff and I've

1120
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 3: always had a vision for what my wedding is going

1121
00:51:08,760 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 3: to look like. My soon to be mother in law

1122
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:13,279
Speaker 3: has very loud opinions on a lot of things that

1123
00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 3: I want for my wedding. When we went to the

1124
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 3: storage tryan dresses, it was me, my sister, my mother,

1125
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:20,360
Speaker 3: and my mother in law. I knew I wanted to

1126
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 3: fit it off the shoulder wedding dress, and there were

1127
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 3: so many gorgeous ones that were my exact type.

1128
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:28,840
Speaker 2: When I tried them on, everyone loved them except my

1129
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,759
Speaker 2: mother in law. And that's when you say, mother in law,

1130
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:35,840
Speaker 2: it's my freaking dress, and it's my freaking wedding. I

1131
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:39,120
Speaker 2: don't want to hear it my way or the freaking highway,

1132
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:41,920
Speaker 2: and you can take the four or five bust her.

1133
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 3: She was very loud about her opinion and even went

1134
00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 3: as far as to say that I looked like a

1135
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 3: spicy dancer. Her comment started a big fight between my

1136
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 3: family and her. My sister especially was pissed, and I

1137
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:55,960
Speaker 3: admit said some pretty nasty things to my mother in

1138
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 3: law good This resulted.

1139
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:59,280
Speaker 2: In her crying to my fiance.

1140
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:02,359
Speaker 3: That day, me and my fiance fought, and he said

1141
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 3: that my family was in the wrong for upsetting his

1142
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:07,440
Speaker 3: mother over a silly comment. I eventually gave in and

1143
00:52:07,480 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 3: got a dress that made everyone happy, which was a

1144
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 3: ball gown type dress. I come from a family of floris,

1145
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 3: so my family was covering for all of that. My

1146
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 3: mom owns her own flower shop and she is the

1147
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:18,720
Speaker 3: most popular in our town.

1148
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:20,719
Speaker 2: Look at you go, it's you.

1149
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 3: I love, love, love flowers. I always had since I

1150
00:52:26,280 --> 00:52:28,920
Speaker 3: was a child. This is something I'm not willing to

1151
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 3: give up for my wedding. I always wanted a wild

1152
00:52:31,640 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 3: flower theme. I chose an outdoor venue and had a

1153
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:36,800
Speaker 3: plan to decorate the place with my choice of flowers.

1154
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:38,799
Speaker 3: I don't know why, but mother in law was so

1155
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:42,319
Speaker 3: against the ideas of the flowers I chose. When she

1156
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:44,800
Speaker 3: saw the okay and the flowers I chose, she yelled

1157
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 3: at me that this was tacky, that the people she

1158
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 3: invited to my wedding were going to think that her

1159
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 3: son is marrying someone cheap whoa what the heck?

1160
00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:56,760
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Well, maybe they'll think that she's marrying

1161
00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:59,280
Speaker 2: into a family where the mother in law is double.

1162
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,680
Speaker 3: She told told me that red roses would look so

1163
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:04,239
Speaker 3: much better and romantic red roses.

1164
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 2: Are like the most common.

1165
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, they would have the least amount of personality.

1166
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:11,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're basic, No offense to anyone who likes roses.

1167
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 2: I refuse. She went to Mark about it.

1168
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:17,040
Speaker 3: Mark and I ended up getting into a fight because

1169
00:53:17,080 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 3: this was something I absolutely refused to give up. He

1170
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 3: told me that it was just a small thing I

1171
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:24,560
Speaker 3: had to give up and that after this was all over,

1172
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 3: we'd be happy with our new life.

1173
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 2: Even after the argument, I was adamant about.

1174
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:31,240
Speaker 3: My decision and wasn't backing down, which resulted him leaving

1175
00:53:31,280 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 3: the house and going to his mother's.

1176
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:37,360
Speaker 2: What a freaking mama's boy. Little mama's boy. Mama, you

1177
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,479
Speaker 2: can have your boy because I don't want him.

1178
00:53:39,680 --> 00:53:41,840
Speaker 3: This has been going on for three days and he

1179
00:53:41,880 --> 00:53:44,319
Speaker 3: still hasn't texted me or called me back, and there

1180
00:53:44,360 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 3: are some comments coming.

1181
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:48,040
Speaker 2: Number one says, not the a hole. You don't have

1182
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:51,160
Speaker 2: a mother in law problem, though, you have a fiance problem. Exactly.

1183
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:54,120
Speaker 3: Think of this conflict as a warning, this is what

1184
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 3: your married life will be like. Any conflict, even one

1185
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 3: where your mother in law calls you a spicy dancer,

1186
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:01,840
Speaker 3: will end with you your future husband taking her side,

1187
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:02,640
Speaker 3: not yours.

1188
00:54:03,000 --> 00:54:04,560
Speaker 2: He will always be on her side.

1189
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:07,239
Speaker 3: Now, imagine if you make a home together, it will

1190
00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 3: be decorated like she wants. And if you have children together,

1191
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:13,520
Speaker 3: I think you already know. You've spent six years together

1192
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:16,000
Speaker 3: and he now feels comfortable to show what he's really like.

1193
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,759
Speaker 3: Run away before you get stuck. Another person responds, what

1194
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:21,560
Speaker 3: if mother in law doesn't like the names you pick

1195
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 3: for your kids, Hobby will take her side and let

1196
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 3: her pick. What if you want a dog but mother

1197
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:29,000
Speaker 3: in law hates them, the hobby will veto the dog.

1198
00:54:29,400 --> 00:54:31,319
Speaker 3: And what if mother in law wants a key to

1199
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 3: your house and you think that it's about a deal.

1200
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:34,879
Speaker 2: She's getting a key.

1201
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:38,680
Speaker 3: What if mother in law abuses the key privilege to snoop.

1202
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 2: And rearrange your furniture. Hubbs will say that you're overreacting.

1203
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:44,279
Speaker 2: What if mother in law wants to be in the

1204
00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:47,319
Speaker 2: delivery room and you say heck no, Guess who gets

1205
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:51,239
Speaker 2: to stare at your jay? Jay? Definitely setting up for

1206
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 2: the rest of your life.

1207
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 3: Comment number two says, Info, why are you involving her

1208
00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:58,160
Speaker 3: in these decisions at all? She isn't your mother, she's

1209
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 3: the groom's mother. Make your own life easier and don't

1210
00:55:01,040 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 3: invite her wedding dress shopping.

1211
00:55:02,680 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. Literally, don't consult her on flowers.

1212
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,000
Speaker 3: Tell her you found a dress after it's purchased and

1213
00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:09,560
Speaker 3: you aren't showing anyone pictures.

1214
00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 2: There you go.

1215
00:55:10,239 --> 00:55:12,399
Speaker 3: If she wants to be traditional about things, she can

1216
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:14,680
Speaker 3: do a rehearsal dinner or luncheon and be in charge

1217
00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:17,320
Speaker 3: of that and leave the wedding to the bride. Someone

1218
00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:19,920
Speaker 3: else responds on the contrary, I think it's great that

1219
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 3: OPI included her fiance's mother.

1220
00:55:21,920 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 2: It gave her the opportunity to see so many red flags. True,

1221
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 2: I just hope that.

1222
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:29,400
Speaker 3: She doesn't ignore them, arguing with op and expecting her

1223
00:55:29,440 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 3: to change fundamental aspects of her wedding to appease.

1224
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:35,279
Speaker 2: His Mommy give me an effing break, like your mother

1225
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 2: a laws, but your fiance. I would not want to

1226
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 2: marry a man who is not on my side.

1227
00:55:41,600 --> 00:55:44,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like, defend me when your mom calls me a

1228
00:55:44,280 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 3: spicy dancer for a dress I love, I'd be like,

1229
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:50,160
Speaker 3: how dare you? And personally I would just be like

1230
00:55:50,200 --> 00:55:52,440
Speaker 3: all right, then a spicy dnswer I shall be.

1231
00:55:52,719 --> 00:55:54,280
Speaker 2: But we do have an update.

1232
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:54,719
Speaker 4: Hi.

1233
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:56,839
Speaker 3: I want to start off by thanking everyone for being

1234
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:57,880
Speaker 3: so nice and supportive.

1235
00:55:58,000 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 2: I've read all of your comments. Thank you all for

1236
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:01,560
Speaker 2: the advice.

1237
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:03,839
Speaker 3: Some of you are going to be a bit disappointed,

1238
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:06,000
Speaker 3: but me and my fiance are not breaking it off.

1239
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:08,839
Speaker 3: While a lot of you suggested that I truly love

1240
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 3: this man with all my heart, my mom and sister

1241
00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 3: has also pushed me to leave him, as they said

1242
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:16,040
Speaker 3: some nasty things I would rather not repeat. Oh wow,

1243
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,239
Speaker 3: we did postpone in the wedding since we did not

1244
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:20,600
Speaker 3: put the deposit for the venue and my mom is

1245
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:22,239
Speaker 3: the one providing the decorations, etc.

1246
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:24,959
Speaker 2: We were still in the early stages of planning the wedding,

1247
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:27,920
Speaker 2: so we didn't lose much money. That is excellent. Do

1248
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:30,920
Speaker 2: not have a wedding until all of your problems are solved.

1249
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:33,399
Speaker 3: After I posted on Reddit, I took time to read

1250
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 3: all of your comments and sent a text to my

1251
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:37,440
Speaker 3: husband along the lines of how immature he's acting and

1252
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:39,759
Speaker 3: that if he keeps the silent treatment up I'll be

1253
00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:41,920
Speaker 3: calling off the wedding, okay, Gury.

1254
00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:43,920
Speaker 2: I don't know if we should have sent a text,

1255
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:46,440
Speaker 2: probably should have had that in person or calling.

1256
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:49,040
Speaker 3: I think that's the difficulty here is that he's like

1257
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 3: at the mom's house, which I forgot about, and he's

1258
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:55,760
Speaker 3: just not responding. This is actually a big issue, I think.

1259
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:59,240
Speaker 3: So he's a child that seemed to get his attention

1260
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:02,080
Speaker 3: quick since he replied back within an hour and came

1261
00:57:02,120 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 3: home that day. There you go, get your man. I

1262
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 3: had a long discussion with Mark. I told him that

1263
00:57:06,560 --> 00:57:08,480
Speaker 3: I didn't have any issues with his mother, and then

1264
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:11,600
Speaker 3: I also appreciated her insight, but this wedding felt more

1265
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:13,919
Speaker 3: like hers than mine. I also brought up the fact

1266
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 3: at how his mom insulted my mom by calling our

1267
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 3: choice of flowers tacky and cheap right in front of her.

1268
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,760
Speaker 3: Me and my mom chose the flowers together. The mom

1269
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,160
Speaker 3: owns the flowers like, that's definitely insulting.

1270
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:26,840
Speaker 2: I also brought up the spicy.

1271
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 3: Dancer comment and that it hurt me and how easily

1272
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:31,640
Speaker 3: he brushed that off. He ended up apologizing after all

1273
00:57:31,720 --> 00:57:33,600
Speaker 3: this and agreed to go to couples counseling with me.

1274
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:35,640
Speaker 3: He also told me that he'd have a talk with

1275
00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:37,439
Speaker 3: his mother for her to step away from the wedding

1276
00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 3: preparations and to let me choose what I want. After

1277
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 3: our talk, we both understood each other's perspective better. He

1278
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 3: felt pressure to say yes to her because his mother

1279
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:49,200
Speaker 3: was all he had. He mentioned to me before how

1280
00:57:49,240 --> 00:57:50,920
Speaker 3: growing up she had to work two jobs to be

1281
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:53,160
Speaker 3: able to support them both. I do feel for her,

1282
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 3: but it's still my wedding at the end of the day,

1283
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:56,440
Speaker 3: and I explained.

1284
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:56,560
Speaker 2: Them to him.

1285
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:59,760
Speaker 3: He has been apologizing repeatedly these past days. He even

1286
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:02,680
Speaker 3: bought flowers and took me on a date. Question were

1287
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:07,000
Speaker 3: those flowers red roses or were they wildflowers? How well

1288
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:08,280
Speaker 3: do you know your partner?

1289
00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:11,160
Speaker 2: Did he buy those for four dollars at titter Joe's,

1290
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:13,200
Speaker 2: because if he's not going to the freaking farmer's market

1291
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:14,919
Speaker 2: and spending twenty five dollars on them.

1292
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:18,320
Speaker 3: I do have some good news. Well, unfortunately I can't

1293
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:21,240
Speaker 3: return my wedding dress. Mark has agreed to pay for however,

1294
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:21,960
Speaker 3: I choose.

1295
00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:24,040
Speaker 2: To alter my dress. He didn't know that the.

1296
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 3: Dress I got wasn't really the one I had my

1297
00:58:25,960 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 3: heart set on, So when I mentioned this, he immediately

1298
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 3: offered to buy a new one, but I agreed instead

1299
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 3: just altering it To answer some of your questions. Why

1300
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:37,080
Speaker 3: is my future mother in law so involved? She has

1301
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 3: never had a wedding of her own as her Mark's

1302
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:42,120
Speaker 3: father never got married. Before all of this, she was

1303
00:58:42,280 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 3: very friendly to me and always welcomed me, so I.

1304
00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:46,479
Speaker 2: Was just as equally shocked when this.

1305
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 3: New persona came out of nowhere. I wanted to involve

1306
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 3: her since Mark as her only child, so they're very close.

1307
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:55,439
Speaker 3: Mark also asked me himself to involve his mother so

1308
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 3: she didn't feel left out. By the way, you will

1309
00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:00,560
Speaker 3: never need to feel left out because we've got more

1310
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:04,200
Speaker 3: episodes with stories just like this. One's gonna Spotify, Apple Podcast,

1311
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:06,439
Speaker 3: whatever your favorite podcast app is, and just search.

1312
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:07,200
Speaker 2: Okay, storytime.

1313
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:10,480
Speaker 3: We literally have so much you can always feel included

1314
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:13,640
Speaker 3: in our little community. But there is a little bit more.

1315
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:15,640
Speaker 3: Do we have any final thoughts before we wrap this up?

1316
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 3: I still don't really trust your fiance. Honestly, I'm suspicious

1317
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 3: of him and I think he needs a lot of

1318
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:26,120
Speaker 3: therapy before you're ready to freaking marry each other. Yeah,

1319
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 3: I am relieved because for a second, I was scared

1320
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:31,880
Speaker 3: that this is how all of their conversations went, and

1321
00:59:31,880 --> 00:59:33,560
Speaker 3: then I was like, Okay, then something's up and she's

1322
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 3: not aware of how this is. But I am glad

1323
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 3: that at least he was apologizing and not trying to

1324
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:42,000
Speaker 3: like turn it so that she needs to apologize.

1325
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:44,480
Speaker 2: He's not turning himself into a victim, which is great.

1326
00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:47,200
Speaker 3: Still not gonna like say, oh, he's like an amazing

1327
00:59:47,200 --> 00:59:49,760
Speaker 3: person because of that, but like, I'm glad that at

1328
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:53,080
Speaker 3: least from this it seems like she's not being like manipulated,

1329
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 3: which makes me trust him a little bit more.

1330
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,240
Speaker 2: I don't think he's necessarily like diabolical. I just think

1331
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 2: he has a law to work on before they even

1332
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:03,720
Speaker 2: can think about like starting this wedding up again.

1333
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 3: It seems like this is a kind of new discovery

1334
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:08,280
Speaker 3: about his relationship with his mom and maybe needs some

1335
01:00:08,320 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 3: time to settle there is a little bit more so.

1336
01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:13,920
Speaker 3: Another question I saw frequently was who is paying for

1337
01:00:13,960 --> 01:00:16,080
Speaker 3: the wedding? Mark is paying for the venue in my

1338
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:18,680
Speaker 3: dress while my parents are covering the rest while we

1339
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 3: try to patch up our relationship. Marcus agreed to go

1340
01:00:20,960 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 3: low contact with his mother, which I'm not sure how

1341
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:26,440
Speaker 3: she'll react to Hopefully everything goes well in the future

1342
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:28,640
Speaker 3: and we get back to normal. Thank you all again

1343
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:31,440
Speaker 3: for the advice and the lovely comments, but that's the

1344
01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:34,120
Speaker 3: end of that story. I'm glad that Mark has come

1345
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 3: around and has realized there's definitely progress. Glad they're going

1346
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:39,919
Speaker 3: to couples counseling. It sounds like this is a great

1347
01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 3: thing to talk about in couple's counseling.