Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: December tenth, twenty fifty.
Speaker 3: From Comedy Central's World News headquarters in New York.
Speaker 2: This is The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Thanks so much.
Speaker 4: Welcome, Welcome, welcome, welcome, Welcome, everybody to the Daily Show.
Speaker 4: I'm Trevor Noah. We've got a fantastic show for you today.
Speaker 4: Our guest co host of Live with Kelly and Michael,
Speaker 4: Michael Strahan is y everybody.
Speaker 2: But we begin tonight with guns.
Speaker 4: Can't live with them, can't live without them? I mean, unless,
Speaker 4: of course you live in Australia or England and so well, oh,
Speaker 4: Italy or Japan. Anyway, the point of Denmark or Luxembourg. Sorry,
Speaker 4: this is so embarrassing boys, forget Luxembourg.
Speaker 2: But the point is you can't live without.
Speaker 4: Guns, because without them, life isn't the same. Because guns
Speaker 4: can do pretty much anything. You can go hunting, you
Speaker 4: can combine them with roses, and.
Speaker 2: They can even make a raccoon look.
Speaker 4: Badass, all of which may explain why, in the wake
Speaker 4: of the San Bernardino shooting, Americans responded in the way
Speaker 4: that they did.
Speaker 3: Had a gunshot less than two miles from the scene,
Speaker 3: of last week's massacre. More than two dozen people were
Speaker 3: lined up outside when it opened this morning.
Speaker 5: Gun legislation front and center, which only gets all the
Speaker 5: people who want guns to run and go get them.
Speaker 2: So this is so confusing to me. So people get shot,
Speaker 2: and so people go out and buy guns.
Speaker 4: I don't understand why people aren't buying bulletproof vests.
Speaker 2: How is that not on the top of everyone's Christmas list.
Speaker 2: I don't underst standards. I want to vest, that's all
Speaker 2: I want. I want to vest. Now.
Speaker 4: The reason some people are doing this is because there's
Speaker 4: a fear that the government is going to take away
Speaker 4: all the guns.
Speaker 2: But I don't understand why people think. You know, why
Speaker 2: do you think this?
Speaker 4: Because, I mean, mass shootings are here to stay. What
Speaker 4: makes you think that this shooting is the one that's
Speaker 4: going to start gun control? There've been twenty six mass
Speaker 4: shootings in America just since Obama's been in office. I mean,
Speaker 4: at this point, he gives so many mass shooting speeches
Speaker 4: that he might as well just walk around with a
Speaker 4: podium as his belt buckle, so he's always ready to go.
Speaker 2: That's a funny.
Speaker 4: I mean, if America hasn't banned guns by now, I
Speaker 4: think gun owners can rest easy.
Speaker 2: But look, I get it.
Speaker 4: Many Americans feel like they need protection, and for some
Speaker 4: the best form of defense is attack.
Speaker 3: The gun range where say ed Rizwan Farrup did some
Speaker 3: target practice two days before he killed fourteen co workers.
Speaker 3: Business there is up sixty percent since the attack.
Speaker 4: The shooting range where the terrorist practiced got a sixty
Speaker 4: percent increase in business.
Speaker 2: That's weird logic.
Speaker 4: People were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Look, I know they
Speaker 4: were terrorists, but you cannot the training. You don't go
Speaker 4: to the place where the assholes learned their craft. I mean,
Speaker 4: that's like going to learn from the Cobra Kai after
Speaker 4: you watch Johnny sweep the leg that is not cool.
Speaker 2: That is not cool.
Speaker 4: You learn from mister Miagi and he gives you a vest.
Speaker 4: But not everyone, Not everyone thinks that the answer is
Speaker 4: more guns. Some people think that the answer is bigger guns.
Speaker 6: After the latest mass shooting in San Bernardino, Northeastern University
Speaker 6: announcing a controversial plan to arm campus officers with semi
Speaker 6: automatic rifles.
Speaker 4: Hmmm, So now students can go to a place where
Speaker 4: they for years eating meals, spending most of their time
Speaker 4: sharing a tiny room with a stranger experimenting with same
Speaker 4: sex relationships, all while a group of God's Patrol with
Speaker 4: AR fifteen's you guys have officially turned college into prison. Now, guy,
Speaker 4: if there's one thing I've learned living in America, there's
Speaker 4: only one way to stop a bad guy with a gun.
Speaker 2: And for that, Jordan Klepper filed this reports.
Speaker 5: It seems like every day there's a new mass shooting,
Speaker 5: but turn on the TV and the solution is crystal clear.
Speaker 1: We should arm the good guys, whether it's in Denny's
Speaker 1: or in a classroom.
Speaker 7: The only thing that stops a bad guy.
Speaker 5: With a gun good guy with a guy.
Speaker 2: One good guy with a guy.
Speaker 1: There's a good guy with a guy.
Speaker 7: Sounds like a foolproof plan. It's time to do my duty.
Speaker 5: It's time to become Jordan Klepper good guy with a gun.
Speaker 5: The first thing any good guy with a gun needs
Speaker 5: is is concealed handgun license, which in Obama's New York
Speaker 5: City is almost impossible to get. Luckily, it's super easy
Speaker 5: in Florida.
Speaker 7: You don't even have to live there.
Speaker 5: You can just mail in an application and once that
Speaker 5: gets approved, it instantly becomes valid.
Speaker 2: In these thirty states.
Speaker 5: So all I have to do to qualify for my
Speaker 5: handgun license is buy a stamp and pass any NRA
Speaker 5: gun safety course. Buckle up, Buttercup, Daddy's packing. I've come
Speaker 5: to the New Jersey Firearms Academy to train with Chief
Speaker 5: instructor and cowboys see low Green impersonator Latif Dickerson.
Speaker 7: Chief. What do we have here?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 8: We have some handguns Ashian k Heckler and Coke model USP.
Speaker 8: This gun here is the Glock model in nineteen.
Speaker 7: Which one does this good guy get?
Speaker 9: You get this one?
Speaker 7: Seriously? This mustard colored toy.
Speaker 9: It's not a toy.
Speaker 8: That is a plastic training gun, and we're going to
Speaker 8: keep it pointing in the same direction as though it
Speaker 8: were a real firearm.
Speaker 7: Oh, I get to hit somebody with the bubbles that
Speaker 7: it blows out.
Speaker 8: It's called muscle discipline, having discipline to where that muscle
Speaker 8: is pointing at all times.
Speaker 7: I'll have that muscle discipline.
Speaker 9: Great.
Speaker 7: I just want you to know I don't obey any rules.
Speaker 7: Kind of a wildcard.
Speaker 9: You have to obey all the rules when it comes
Speaker 9: to firearms, right.
Speaker 7: I get that, Well, who knows?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 7: There's a wild card in there.
Speaker 9: Andything can happen, It can't happen.
Speaker 7: It won't happen here. But okay, I'm just kind of
Speaker 7: one of those guys.
Speaker 1: I'm a rule breaker.
Speaker 9: Don't break any rules.
Speaker 7: I will break any of these rules.
Speaker 9: No, not, because someone can either die or you can
Speaker 9: become incarcerated.
Speaker 7: Teach me how to shoot a gun.
Speaker 5: Chief broke down all the key points of firearm safety,
Speaker 5: like aiming.
Speaker 9: Contact on the grip, wrap those around numbers, and that's
Speaker 9: how you.
Speaker 7: Suck on this metal and not like that, but the
Speaker 7: gun just like that. Can't talk with a gun in
Speaker 7: your mouth.
Speaker 9: No right, not turn the gun sideways. Just keep the
Speaker 9: gun vertical up and down.
Speaker 7: Okay, if I hold it like this, can I still
Speaker 7: say sucked on this piece?
Speaker 9: No good guns going tell bad guys to suck on
Speaker 9: their piece before they shoot them?
Speaker 7: What did they do? Trust me?
Speaker 1: I know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 5: Then I was ambushed by a grueling written exam. It
Speaker 5: was three entire pages, double sided, multiple choice.
Speaker 7: Stop fiddling with it, you'll break it off.
Speaker 1: What used to say?
Speaker 5: The test contained brain busters like true or false? Always
Speaker 5: keep your gun pointed in a safe direction as.
Speaker 7: An actual question it's pretty much a no brainer. It's true, right,
Speaker 7: it's true.
Speaker 5: Yes, it was tough, but luckily I had a few
Speaker 5: bullets up my sleeve.
Speaker 7: You a Share fan, chief.
Speaker 9: I do not like share.
Speaker 1: Or for me.
Speaker 5: Now, there's only one thing standing between me Share and
Speaker 5: saving American lives. Firing an actual, for real life handgun.
Speaker 5: Turns out I'm a natural.
Speaker 9: All right, let's hate it, all right.
Speaker 7: Let's try to hit him in the dick based carms.
Speaker 9: Course, we just want to keep our shots in the
Speaker 9: center of the target.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you could make the target bigger, so the crotches
Speaker 5: in the center, the head, and then the shoulders and
Speaker 5: the arms. Then it comes hit and then right here
Speaker 5: is just a total crotch.
Speaker 9: Right now, we're just trying to keep our shots in
Speaker 9: the center of the target. So okay, and I do.
Speaker 9: You're good to go.
Speaker 7: You pass, and then I come back tomorrow and we
Speaker 7: continue the training.
Speaker 9: If you want to train some more. But this is
Speaker 9: you know, this is good.
Speaker 1: This is it.
Speaker 9: You're a good guy with a gun.
Speaker 7: That's me.
Speaker 4: There you go.
Speaker 7: I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.
Speaker 2: I done it.
Speaker 5: I'd gone from gun idiot to idiot with a gun,
Speaker 5: qualified to conceal a deadly weapon in most of the country,
Speaker 5: probably in your home state. With all of eight hours
Speaker 5: of training, I was ready to handle every crisis situation.
Speaker 1: You're not ready to handle every crisis situation?
Speaker 4: Are you?
Speaker 5: Find out who this guy is in part two of
Speaker 5: Jordan Klepper, good guy with a gun.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Jordan, coming up? Haunt you of Jordan Cleppa,
Speaker 2: good guy with a gun? Right after this Welcome back.
Speaker 4: When we left Jordan, he was newly licensed to carry
Speaker 4: a concealed weapon in most of America.
Speaker 2: Hooray. Now let's see what he does with that license.
Speaker 2: In Part two, after.
Speaker 5: Almost eight entire hours, I'd completed all the training needed
Speaker 5: to get a concealed handgun license that would be valid
Speaker 5: in thirty states.
Speaker 9: Good job.
Speaker 5: But now this muscular stranger was telling me I wasn't
Speaker 5: ready to handle every price's situation.
Speaker 1: You're not ready to handle every crisis situation.
Speaker 9: Who the are you?
Speaker 1: I'm peep Bler, I'm the director of the Alert Program.
Speaker 5: ALERT or the Advanced Law Enforcement Rapid Response Training Program,
Speaker 5: has trained over eighty thousand cops to respond to active
Speaker 5: shooter events. So why was this dude trying to jam
Speaker 5: up on my gun nuts.
Speaker 1: Because you've had one day of training.
Speaker 7: I see how it is you want to take away
Speaker 7: our guns.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to take away anybody's gun, but I
Speaker 1: would want to help train them.
Speaker 5: Okay, I'll tell you thirty states, the NRA and Uncle
Speaker 5: Sam all think that I'm good to go when it
Speaker 5: comes to guns.
Speaker 1: How many rounds did you shoot?
Speaker 7: Is rounds bullets?
Speaker 1: Yes, a ton, ten, twenty fifty.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and I shot them at the paper.
Speaker 1: I would recommend more training.
Speaker 7: Come at me, bro, this is your weapon again. I'm
Speaker 7: handing it to you as a hot weapon alert.
Speaker 5: Agreed to test my Eastwood like reflexes. In the following simulation,
Speaker 5: there's an active shooter in the building with by Glock
Speaker 5: seventeen modified to shoot paintball like bullets. I'm the good
Speaker 5: guy with a gun who's gonna take him down.
Speaker 7: Okay, so you need to be ready. It could happen
Speaker 7: in any second from this point on.
Speaker 9: Just need to be ready.
Speaker 7: Okay, that was a test run.
Speaker 5: I wasn't even ready, probably not going to be ready
Speaker 5: for it in real life, but I gotta do over.
Speaker 7: Let's do it over again.
Speaker 5: So I kneeled down and prepared to do battle and
Speaker 5: gut shot again and again and again.
Speaker 7: Why was that so hard? That was nothing like call
Speaker 7: of duty?
Speaker 1: I told you it's not that simple.
Speaker 5: Yeah, But the only way to stop a bad guy
Speaker 5: with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
Speaker 1: That's science that's inaccurate. About one out of every five
Speaker 1: actor shooter events get stopped by a potential victim at
Speaker 1: the scene, and most of those victims are unarmed.
Speaker 7: Or do you get those stats from some liberal think
Speaker 7: tank like Hillary Pack.
Speaker 1: No, it's from the FBI report that came out last year,
Speaker 1: a study of actor shooter incidents from two thousand to
Speaker 1: twenty thirteen.
Speaker 7: Obama's FBI.
Speaker 1: It's the FBI.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you believe that liberal claptrap.
Speaker 1: I'm one of the co authors of the report.
Speaker 5: I took a closer look at his report, and it
Speaker 5: pretty much proved my good guy theory.
Speaker 1: There are some cases where we have good guys with
Speaker 1: guns who are able to stop the shooter. Most cases,
Speaker 1: very few cases, half the cases, not half a quarter
Speaker 1: of the cases, not a quarter of the case. What's
Speaker 1: the percent, it's about three percent.
Speaker 5: Three percent. But these guys said the only way to
Speaker 5: stop a bad guy with a gun is a good
Speaker 5: guy with a gun.
Speaker 2: We must not have enough guns.
Speaker 5: Ninety seven percent more people had guns one hundred percent
Speaker 5: of the time, there'd be a zero percent crime.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure that's how math works, Pete.
Speaker 7: It's simple.
Speaker 5: Gun goes bang, bad guy falls down. I get to
Speaker 5: have sex with share. What more do I need to
Speaker 5: learn if.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have a gun. We recommend as much training
Speaker 1: as you can get.
Speaker 5: Fine, I'll train some more. Alert uses this abandoned elementary
Speaker 5: school to teach law enforcement to respond to active shooter events.
Speaker 5: Their on site traders have over forty years of combined
Speaker 5: experience in military law enforcement training. With these guys, I'd
Speaker 5: finally get enough training.
Speaker 1: There's never enough training, never good enough.
Speaker 2: It's not so much a destination, it's a journey.
Speaker 7: But that destination is Heroville in the state of low
Speaker 7: job Land.
Speaker 1: Huh.
Speaker 5: It's just I mean, like when you're a hero, cool
Speaker 5: stuff happens. Oh, I've got a condo there. It's hand
Speaker 5: job village. But I guess you come by sometime.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I don't think that's God.
Speaker 7: I'm getting lost in this pad.
Speaker 5: Then, after yet another four and a half more hours
Speaker 5: of training, it was time to show them how it's done.
Speaker 5: The scenario is as follows. I hear shots fired at
Speaker 5: an elementary school. Police are on the way, but with
Speaker 5: innocent civilians inside. I have to draw my concealed handgun
Speaker 5: and respond with a high tech safety helmet to cover
Speaker 5: my face and up how old or protect my dick
Speaker 5: and balls.
Speaker 2: I'm ready to be a hero.
Speaker 7: There's the bad guy. Mission accomplished. Okay, so that wasn't
Speaker 7: the bad guy. So where are the bad There?
Speaker 5: They are?
Speaker 8: Where they are?
Speaker 5: I'm being shot? Oh thank god, the authorities are here.
Speaker 5: I just hope they know I'm a good gun.
Speaker 7: I had failed. You guys need help. I'm a good guy.
Speaker 5: I was shot over twenty times by two different bad
Speaker 5: guys with guns, and then the policeman's took me for
Speaker 5: a bad guy and shot me a bunch too. Also,
Speaker 5: I may have shot an unarmed team twice in the chest.
Speaker 7: It's tough.
Speaker 5: Being a good guy with a gun was starting to
Speaker 5: feel way more complicated than movies and video games and
Speaker 5: politicians make it seem.
Speaker 1: It's a complex situation, and you don't want to just
Speaker 1: give people guns and say you assume they know what
Speaker 1: they're gonna do. It requires a lot of training.
Speaker 7: Who's got time for them? On's training people.
Speaker 1: Who are gonna dedicate their lives to protecting others. That's it.
Speaker 5: Being a good guy with a gun just takes a
Speaker 5: lifetime commitment to training. All we have to do is
Speaker 5: figure out who the good guys are, get millions of
Speaker 5: them to volunteer for three hundred hours of training in
Speaker 5: a year, costing billions of dollars.
Speaker 7: Then make sure they're in the.
Speaker 5: Right place at the right time. Guns a's already, and
Speaker 5: place this civilian army in our forty seven hundred colleges,
Speaker 5: fifty seven hundred hospitals, forty eight thousand malls, hundreds of
Speaker 5: thousands of churches.
Speaker 7: You know, America, just do that?
Speaker 5: Or couldn't we just, I don't know, figure out a
Speaker 5: way to not put a gun in this asshole's hand.
Speaker 2: It's not my not my place for that, all right.
Speaker 7: I feel like that's an idea. Just try to get
Speaker 7: this asshole to not have a gun. No, I don't
Speaker 7: think that's gonna happen in our lifetime.
Speaker 5: Well, it was worth a shot. At least I can
Speaker 5: conceal a handgun almost everywhere. Sleep tight, America.
Speaker 2: Shot and kept everybody, We'll be right back. Welcome back,
Speaker 2: my guest.
Speaker 4: Tonight's is an NFL legend who played fifteen seasons with
Speaker 4: the New York Giants. He's also the co host of
Speaker 4: Live with Kenny and Michael. His new book is called
Speaker 4: Wake Up Happy, Please Welcome.
Speaker 2: Michael Strahan. I'm kind of that's what you hear when
Speaker 2: you walk around. You are hurting people with your looks.
Speaker 10: You know what happens when you get on TV. All
Speaker 10: of a sudden you become cute?
Speaker 2: Is that all wet?
Speaker 7: Before?
Speaker 10: I was like, why don't he get his teach fixed?
Speaker 1: I was that guy.
Speaker 10: Now now I'm like, oh, he's so handsome.
Speaker 2: Oh, thank you.
Speaker 1: Thank you for your blind boy.
Speaker 2: You deserve it, you dive it. Thank you so much
Speaker 2: for being on the show.
Speaker 4: This is funny because I was on your show and
Speaker 4: then I said you come on my show, and then
Speaker 4: you said, yeah, I'll come on your show, and then
Speaker 4: everyone says that and then they don't come, but you
Speaker 4: actually came.
Speaker 2: So thank you. No, No, I love you.
Speaker 10: I love your show man. You were so funny, You're
Speaker 10: so good, and I'm so happy that you got this
Speaker 10: because it's the hardest seat to feel. I thought regis
Speaker 10: was hard. That's nothing.
Speaker 2: Your job is hard. I'm not saying nothing, but this
Speaker 2: is I think it would be hard in the morning.
Speaker 2: And you have to act like you're happy about it.
Speaker 1: That's not easy.
Speaker 2: That is not wake up happy. Oh oh, I see
Speaker 2: what you did there. I see what you did that.
Speaker 2: Oh you know what was funny on your on your
Speaker 2: show the other day?
Speaker 4: You had Donald Trump, yes, yesterday, and he made a
Speaker 4: we tried to explain a joke about.
Speaker 2: Wanting to date his daughter. You guys look very confused.
Speaker 2: You didn't know what it happened, did you.
Speaker 10: Well, some jokes you should never repeat, and if you
Speaker 10: have to explain it, it probably wasn't a good joke. Yeah,
Speaker 10: And so when he said it, I was probably like
Speaker 10: the people heard it the first time, like you, what
Speaker 10: did you say?
Speaker 4: But it was so funny because I saw your face
Speaker 4: because because I mean, I don't I'm not assuming that
Speaker 4: he saw the show. But we we had evidence to
Speaker 4: prove that Donald Trump wants to bang his daughter. And
Speaker 4: and so when he came on your show, he just
Speaker 4: was and your faces were just like, did this man
Speaker 4: just say he wanted it?
Speaker 10: It kind of came out of nowhere did you say, well,
Speaker 10: now you know what about campaign? Well that was a
Speaker 10: joke about my daughter, and I'm like kind It was
Speaker 10: a little confusing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I could see it, but you played it off
Speaker 4: well because you're a great host.
Speaker 2: Man. I really enjoyed you really are. Let's let's talk
Speaker 2: about this book. I mean, when people think.
Speaker 4: Michael Strahan partly because you're a big bulky guy, you
Speaker 4: don't think of book writer.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and yet it was a fantastic book. This is true.
Speaker 2: Though muscles and books, I'm not known to associate.
Speaker 11: Why don't know why you guys are making it like
Speaker 11: I'm insulting him.
Speaker 1: This is true.
Speaker 10: I've never a big bulky guy who wrote a book.
Speaker 7: That's what it says on the back, A big bulkie
Speaker 7: guy he wrote.
Speaker 4: But it's but it's an amazing book. It's an amazing
Speaker 4: book that I learned. I learned so many things about one.
Speaker 4: I did not know that you were raised in Germany.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I grew up in Germany. I'm from Houston, but
Speaker 10: I moved to Germany when I was like nine years old.
Speaker 10: Deutsch ambition, ambition, Yeah, don't go any further.
Speaker 11: That's it, Oh, man, I can just imagine little mikea
Speaker 11: because you were fat as well, which just makes it
Speaker 11: so much was in the book. It's a beautiful story
Speaker 11: you talked about I just keted this fat Little Michael
Speaker 11: made me.
Speaker 7: Cry. Man, I was not fat.
Speaker 2: I was just big bum, you said, set in the book.
Speaker 2: Set in the book, that's a miss print.
Speaker 7: I was big, mom.
Speaker 4: But it really is a beautiful story because it's not
Speaker 4: just about you as a kid and Giry, it's it's
Speaker 4: it's almost an inspirational book without it being airy fairy.
Speaker 4: So you go, we started with inspiration and you apply
Speaker 4: it to your life getting into Kelly and Michael. That's
Speaker 4: another fascinating story to read about in the book because
Speaker 4: a lot of people don't associate you as a torture.
Speaker 4: Like people wouldn't think of that off the bat enough.
Speaker 4: You said that when you were a guest on the show.
Speaker 10: Yeah, I went on as a guest. I wasn't even
Speaker 10: really a guest. I was kind of like a walkout guy.
Speaker 10: Like we won the super Bowl and I guess Eli
Speaker 10: Manning wasn't available, so they called me and I said, okay,
Speaker 10: I'll do it, and guest gets a seat. I kind
Speaker 10: of walked out and was kind of just next to
Speaker 10: the desk, and he said, what are you going to
Speaker 10: do now that you're retired? And I'm like, oh, you know,
Speaker 10: I'm on a show now, maybe you'll retire Kelly and
Speaker 10: Michael Michael and Kelly as a joke. And two years
Speaker 10: later he retired. I went on and guest told it
Speaker 10: twenty times and I never thought i'd get it. I
Speaker 10: just went on because it was fun. And then next
Speaker 10: thing you know, they asked me to take the job,
Speaker 10: and I wonder what the hell.
Speaker 2: Was wrong with him? You're a mudsh man. But every
Speaker 2: day I watch it and I see why. I'm thank
Speaker 2: you man, Thank you so much.
Speaker 10: Thank you.
Speaker 4: Wake Up, Happy is n Stars, Bookstores, Life Now, Michael Strahan.
Speaker 2: Everybody.
Speaker 4: Explore more shows from The Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 4: searching The Daily Show wherever.
Speaker 7: You get your podcasts.
Speaker 2: Watch The Daily Show weeknights.
Speaker 4: At eleven ten Central on Comedy Central and stream full
Speaker 4: episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.
Speaker 2: This has been a Comedy Central podcastow