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Speaker 1: H okay, Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast,

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Speaker 1: a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all

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Speaker 1: the small decisions we can make to become the best

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Speaker 1: possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy hard

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Speaker 1: and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more

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Speaker 1: information or to find a therapist in your area, visit

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Speaker 1: our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While

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Speaker 1: I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast,

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Speaker 1: it is not meant to be a substitute for a

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Speaker 1: relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks

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Speaker 1: so much for joining me for session to thirty nine

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Speaker 1: of the Therapy for Like Girls Podcast. We'll get right

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Speaker 1: into the episode after a word from our sponsors. At

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Speaker 1: the end of a year, I typically like to share

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Speaker 1: some journal problems for you to write and reflect on,

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Speaker 1: but I realized we hadn't ever actually talked about why

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Speaker 1: journaling can be so helpful and how you can get started.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna dig into this today. Joining me for

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Speaker 1: this conversation is Olivia F. Scott. Olivia is the founder

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Speaker 1: and principal consultant of Emerged Alliances and Integrated marketing communications consultancy.

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Speaker 1: She also creates community and workplace wellness experiences via her

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Speaker 1: freedom at the Mad Benefit Corporation. Olivia and I chatted

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Speaker 1: about what journaling can unlock in our lives, how to

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Speaker 1: get started with the journaling practice, and she shares a

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Speaker 1: beautiful journaling exercise for you to wrap up and prepare

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Speaker 1: for twenties twenty two. If there's something that resis the

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Speaker 1: nce with you while enjoying our conversation, please share with

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Speaker 1: us on social media using the hashtag TBG in session.

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Speaker 1: Here's our conversation. Thank you so much for joining me today, Olivia,

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. You know how

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Speaker 1: much of a fan I am of yours and a

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Speaker 1: therapy for black girls, So I'm grateful to be here, sincerely.

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Speaker 1: You know, I think we talk a lot here on

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Speaker 1: the podcast and just generally, and I know you use

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Speaker 1: your platform to talk about the importance of journaling. So

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Speaker 1: can you talk to us and give us a definition

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Speaker 1: of what we mean when we say journaling. I am

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Speaker 1: going to be broad with that because I like to

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Speaker 1: give us grace. I think if we say that journaling

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Speaker 1: is only this, then people in general they're not going

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Speaker 1: to do it right. If we say journaling is you

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Speaker 1: have to write something down, it's got to be five

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Speaker 1: cent and thig on the right hand page every day

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Speaker 1: when you go to bedtime. I like to say that

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Speaker 1: yarnling is just chronicling my thoughts. I find that I

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Speaker 1: have different journals and different rooms and in my purses.

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Speaker 1: I have them everywhere, and when I have a feeling

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Speaker 1: that comes to me, I make sure I get it out.

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Speaker 1: And so I have found that there is so much

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Speaker 1: release when there's something that's heavy on my spirit dr

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Speaker 1: joy and it's something that I'm wrestling with. I haven't

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Speaker 1: quite been able to get it to a friend. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to gossip about it. Perhaps it's an unformed

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Speaker 1: opinion around something, but it's a feeling that I have.

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Speaker 1: Then I will just write it out. And I've been

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Speaker 1: doing that a lot lately, where I be two sentences

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Speaker 1: and it'll be like this happened, and this made me

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Speaker 1: feel this way. I am not happy. This hurts. It

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Speaker 1: hurts when I think about how this went down and

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Speaker 1: I just leave it there. There's no resolution. Now. There

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Speaker 1: are sometimes times journaling is a bit more formal. When

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Speaker 1: I go on a trip, we go on vacations, and

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Speaker 1: we may be journaling every single day, but I would

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Speaker 1: never want to restrict us to it having to be

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Speaker 1: that consistent and in a certain format. And we don't

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Speaker 1: simply have the ability to do that every single day.

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Speaker 1: When you're saying, like, I have a different journal in

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Speaker 1: lots of different places, right, it doesn't have to be

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Speaker 1: for more structured. What are some of the benefits of journaling.

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Speaker 1: I think there is a benefit to us connecting with

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Speaker 1: our inner divide our spirit, and our spirit is telling

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Speaker 1: us every day there are thoughts and our feelings how

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Speaker 1: to conduct our lives. I really believe that. And so

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Speaker 1: if there's something that's on your spirit or your heart

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Speaker 1: or your mind and you get it out, you're able

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Speaker 1: to first of all, release it, look at it, acknowledge

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Speaker 1: it it, and then make a decision about how you

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Speaker 1: want to move forward. And it holds you accountable to

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Speaker 1: dr joy. If you have written something down in your handwriting,

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Speaker 1: it's like, this is how I'm feeling right now. Now.

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Speaker 1: What we know is feelings changed, right, so it may

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Speaker 1: change the next day, but this is what I'm feeling

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Speaker 1: right now. This doesn't feel really good to me. And

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Speaker 1: you can come back to it a couple of days later,

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Speaker 1: when something else perhaps happened to be like, that's what

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Speaker 1: I was thinking. I was thinking that, And I have

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Speaker 1: a really great example. I was married, wonderful X husband,

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Speaker 1: wonderful still friend of this day. But I'd had some

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Speaker 1: reservations before we married, and I was joggling really deep

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Speaker 1: at that time. And that was that we got married

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Speaker 1: when we moved from our apartment. Ever told the story before.

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Speaker 1: When we moved from our apartment in Harlem, New Jersey,

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Speaker 1: I went back after the movers had cleared out our

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Speaker 1: apartment and I just want to make sure they had everything.

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Speaker 1: And there was one thing that they had left behind

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Speaker 1: the floor in our bedroom, and that was one of

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Speaker 1: my journals. I flipped through this journal and I'm found

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Speaker 1: all of my entries where I had been questioning should

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Speaker 1: I get married? Is this the right time? Is this

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Speaker 1: the right partner? It was all this stuff in this journal,

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Speaker 1: and I sat on the floor and I wept. I

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Speaker 1: was like, you actually are not crazy. You were actually

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Speaker 1: questioning this way before, and here you are, the trail

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Speaker 1: of tears, moving from Parlow to Newark, trying to make

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Speaker 1: this thing better. But you were questioning it so for

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Speaker 1: me to answer your question directly, that journaling process allows

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Speaker 1: me to connect for a moment with my spirits, connect

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Speaker 1: with my thoughts. My thoughts are mine. I don't have

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Speaker 1: to listen anybody else. This is between me, myself and

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Speaker 1: my God. And this is how I'm feeling. And I

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Speaker 1: want to honor myself by writing these few words about

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Speaker 1: what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling. And I will

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Speaker 1: be able to hold myself accountable by coming back to

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Speaker 1: this over time. If I keep having the same thought

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Speaker 1: over and over again, am I going to do something

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Speaker 1: about it? And if that thought is haunting me? So

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Speaker 1: to me, that's the benefit of journaling is just getting

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Speaker 1: it out and having a reckoning with it. I find

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Speaker 1: that journaling is an effective way of being able to

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Speaker 1: just connect. You're pausing, you're connected with your spirit and saying, okay,

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Speaker 1: this is this is where I am right now, and

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Speaker 1: then that is therapeutic as well. Yeah, I think it's

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Speaker 1: really cool, especially if you are somebody who has journaled

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Speaker 1: across time, to look at the different patterns that might

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Speaker 1: come up in your life at like certain times of

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Speaker 1: the year or maybe around your birthday. Like I just

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Speaker 1: think it's interesting to kind of take a historical look

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Speaker 1: at like where you've come through journaling, because I think

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Speaker 1: that just can be so telling. Absolutely, absolutely, yeah. I

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Speaker 1: keep my journals now I'm kind of afraid to open

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Speaker 1: them because of what because if it's something that I

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Speaker 1: had talked about doing or being. And I'm sometimes I'm

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Speaker 1: upset with myself because I often do New Year's journaling,

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Speaker 1: and I journal, this is what happened, this is what

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Speaker 1: I want to become, this is what I want to do, whatever,

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Speaker 1: and then you come back to what a year later

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Speaker 1: and it's the same things. It's like, girl, wait, what

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Speaker 1: is you really doing? What are you really doing with

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Speaker 1: your life? And so I've seen that where I know,

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Speaker 1: for years I had patience at the top of my

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Speaker 1: list for areas in which I wanted to be better,

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Speaker 1: and then I had I wanted to lose fifteen pounds,

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Speaker 1: still never lost them. There was the same things that

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Speaker 1: were there that showed up time and time again. So

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Speaker 1: I gotta say, I think that there is something around

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Speaker 1: journaling and commitment to accountability too, because you can journal

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Speaker 1: all day long, but what's the objective of your journal

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Speaker 1: The objective of your journaling personally might just be too right,

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Speaker 1: but it might not be to actually affect change in

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Speaker 1: your life, and that's okay too. So I think that

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Speaker 1: for every person we have to make a decision around

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Speaker 1: what the objective is of our journal. That could just

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Speaker 1: be the right and just to kind of have some

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Speaker 1: me time, you know. Ali way, you bring up a

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Speaker 1: really good point, because I think I've heard from sisters

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Speaker 1: that there's this hesitation around journaling for some of the

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Speaker 1: same stuff that you said, right, like if I write

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Speaker 1: it down it makes it really real, or looking back

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Speaker 1: through old journals and then feeling super judgmental about ourselves

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Speaker 1: for like what we haven't done. Can you share some

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Speaker 1: tips about how to approach this with grace so that

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Speaker 1: you don't find yourself at the end of a year

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Speaker 1: feeling super negative about all the things you haven't done. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, don't let the fact that what you

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Speaker 1: say today it's going to impact you tomorrow. Don't let

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Speaker 1: that stop you. Still right, because the writing process is

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Speaker 1: a part of your therapy to become a better you.

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Speaker 1: So I want us all to journal. That's number one.

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Speaker 1: Number two I would say this, I firmly believe that

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Speaker 1: we all have a primary role in creating the lives

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Speaker 1: that we lead, and with effort, we can recreate those lives.

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Speaker 1: So if you see something over and over in your journal,

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Speaker 1: Dr Joy, year after year, month after month, you're still

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Speaker 1: upset about something that happened, and you keep talking about

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Speaker 1: it over and over again, you have the power in

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Speaker 1: your life to resolve it. You don't have to keep

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Speaker 1: talking about it without any resolution to it, like a

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Speaker 1: merry go round. I would say, empower yourself to create

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Speaker 1: the resolution that you need to have so that you're

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Speaker 1: not having that same issue or those same feelings. But

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Speaker 1: that's why I'm telling you, if I write it down

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Speaker 1: all my other times of what you hide from writing

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Speaker 1: in my journal, Dr Joy, there are times right when

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm so overwhelmed by it. I'm just carrying

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Speaker 1: it like a weight in my heart, in my body.

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Speaker 1: I'm carrying these emotions and that's not good. That journal

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Speaker 1: becomes a heavy load barrier. If you will they help

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Speaker 1: me carry this load and getting it off my plate,

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Speaker 1: and then at a certain point I will make a

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Speaker 1: decision on if and how I'm going to do something

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Speaker 1: to resolve it. More from my conversation with Olivia after

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Speaker 1: the break. Yeah, because, like you said, the journal could

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Speaker 1: just be that you write it to get it down.

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Speaker 1: There isn't anything that says you have to go back

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Speaker 1: to the journal and do something with it. It could

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Speaker 1: be that you just left it there. That's it. And

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Speaker 1: I'm all about being free. That's my whole objective is

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Speaker 1: supposed to live freer lives. I don't like to tell

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Speaker 1: people this is what it is, this is what journaling is,

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Speaker 1: this is what you have to do. So you know,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to make journaling and exercise towards resolution,

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Speaker 1: even if you don't set out for it to be

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Speaker 1: about resolution. I don't foresee from my life experience journaling

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Speaker 1: that you're going to journal on an ongoing basis and

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Speaker 1: not have some desire to make a change. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: gonna come naturally and organically right, not to joy right,

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Speaker 1: because that level of introspection and sharing your thoughts, like

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Speaker 1: you said, like naturally, you're going to probably want to

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Speaker 1: go back to it and like figure out, like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: what's going on here. I think it's really cool sometimes

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Speaker 1: when clients will bring their journals into therapy, it can

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Speaker 1: also be a great tool to like further or open

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Speaker 1: up conversations with your therapist. If you notice that there

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Speaker 1: are things that you keep coming back to and you

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Speaker 1: want to bring journal pages to your session, that's completely

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Speaker 1: welcome and and be a really great way to move

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Speaker 1: therapy forward. So for people who are wanting to maybe

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Speaker 1: get started with a practice, even though it doesn't have

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Speaker 1: to look one way, what are some suggestions you would

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Speaker 1: have for how we can maybe start developing a journaling practice.

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Speaker 1: If you're never journaled and you don't know where to start,

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Speaker 1: looking at a blank page just like as foreign as Greek,

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Speaker 1: that would invite me to find a guided journal that's

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Speaker 1: number one. Number two. For those of you who either

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Speaker 1: don't want to guide a journal or who you have

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Speaker 1: a relatively somewhat established practice, I invite you to make

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Speaker 1: a commitment, a small commitment, to some journaling time. And

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Speaker 1: I would start off in a very realistic, conservative manner

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Speaker 1: of once a week, and I would like us to

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Speaker 1: make it into a journaling ritual dr Joy, where it

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Speaker 1: could be every Thursday night at seven pm, I'm gonna write,

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna have my model of wine, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: have my candle it and I'm just gonna write. I

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Speaker 1: would invite you if you need to, like many people

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Speaker 1: who struggle with vation, like myself, where you set a

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Speaker 1: timer that goes on to put the phone and do

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Speaker 1: not disturb. It's a sacred ritual where you begin that way,

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Speaker 1: and then over time you'll begin to really look forward

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Speaker 1: to that introspection and to that pausing in your life,

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Speaker 1: and then you may decide that you want to do

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Speaker 1: it more frequently. But I think journaling ritual is something

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Speaker 1: that can be quite beautiful and serves two purposes of

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Speaker 1: you pausing, creating some self care and self love for yourself,

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Speaker 1: as well as you're getting some thoughts and emotions and

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Speaker 1: feelings out on paper. I love it. Do you have

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Speaker 1: some prompts for people to get started with? Maybe this

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Speaker 1: weekly journaling ritual will that might be helpful? So, dor Joy,

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Speaker 1: I do have a guided journal and Freedom at the mat.

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Speaker 1: So I have one that breaks down three different areas,

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Speaker 1: and I'm happy to share some of those areas. Now

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Speaker 1: we've got Soul, Mind and Buy And if you get

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Speaker 1: to a blank page and you're like, where do I start.

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Speaker 1: Some of the prompts that I have in the journal

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Speaker 1: support connecting with your inner voice. One of them in

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Speaker 1: particular is what is something your inner voice continues to

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Speaker 1: tell you to do? Is there a recurring thought that

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Speaker 1: your inner voice is saying not to joy? Need to

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Speaker 1: do this? Giving yourself that space to write and connect

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Speaker 1: with your inner voice. Other things I would talk about

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Speaker 1: our do talk about are connecting with your thoughts. Is

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Speaker 1: there a predominant thought that continues to come to you

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Speaker 1: on a regular basis that you haven't done something with

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Speaker 1: I invite people to really connect with themselves and they

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Speaker 1: have a particular prompt where I say name three words

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Speaker 1: you would use to describe yourself and from that it

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Speaker 1: would flow. Are you then, when we talk about relationships,

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Speaker 1: is there someone in your life that you just absolutely

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Speaker 1: positively love. Name five people that bring you joy? Who

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Speaker 1: are those five people? Why do they bring you joy?

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Speaker 1: And furthermore, how can you fold them more into your life?

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Speaker 1: It could be a best friend that lives somewhere else.

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Speaker 1: Can you go visit them more? Can you commit to

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Speaker 1: being a part of their lives more? Is it someone

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Speaker 1: that you can maybe make a phone call too? Because

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Speaker 1: what I know and you probably do as well, is

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Speaker 1: that we're all spiritual beings having a human experience that

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Speaker 1: our lives are all really made better by being around

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Speaker 1: people that we love. It's not the things that make

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Speaker 1: life go around, it's the people that make life go around.

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Speaker 1: And so really connecting with Okay, you know what I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling some kind of way, but I should call Lisa.

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Speaker 1: So writing that on your journal like really connecting with

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Speaker 1: your soul. What's your soul needs? And a lot of

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Speaker 1: what I try to do when I'm writing is really

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Speaker 1: connecting with my soul. Dr Joy. Not connecting so much

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Speaker 1: with things that I do for work, but how i

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Speaker 1: feel like this thing happened today and I'm so happy

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Speaker 1: that this happened, this made me feel so good, or

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Speaker 1: this thing happened, and I feel horrible that I did

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Speaker 1: that to that person. I am going to go back

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Speaker 1: and apologize to that, right. So it's I try to

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Speaker 1: spend a lot of time with my feelings, how I'm

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Speaker 1: feeling today and what it is I'm wanting in my

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Speaker 1: life to be different and how I can be a

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Speaker 1: better person. And then the last one that I will share,

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Speaker 1: which is in our better journal, but I just offered

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Speaker 1: everybody is body. So how is your body feeling? We

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Speaker 1: go through life every day to get up gotta ben

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Speaker 1: go to work, blah blah. But I'm really paying attention

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Speaker 1: to our bodies. How is the activity of our arms,

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Speaker 1: our legs, our feet, our thighs, our hips are abdinant,

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Speaker 1: our backs, our neck, how we're feeling and just doing

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Speaker 1: a body scans and checking in with how our overall

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Speaker 1: help is and how we feel about our body. You know,

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Speaker 1: our body and our physicality is what encounters with the

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Speaker 1: world every single day. How do you feel about your body,

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Speaker 1: which is one of my problems. How do you feel

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Speaker 1: a scale one to tend? How much do you love

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Speaker 1: your body? Do you honor your body for what your

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Speaker 1: body offers to the world in the sense of what

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Speaker 1: it allows you to do. So those are just some

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Speaker 1: of the prompts that I would offer. Thank you for those.

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Speaker 1: Those are an excellent story. So you mentioned a little

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Speaker 1: earlier that you like to do some New Year's journaling,

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Speaker 1: and I think that that's typically how we wrap up

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Speaker 1: the year here. Therapy for black girls too is that

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Speaker 1: I will typically offer some journal problems for just reflect

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Speaker 1: on the year. But I think that can feel very

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Speaker 1: grand right when you think about the previous twelve months,

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Speaker 1: especially in a year like this year. When there's been

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Speaker 1: so much like chaos. What kind of suggestions do you have? Are?

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Speaker 1: Where can we even get started in reflecting on the

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Speaker 1: year that has been well? Dr Joy? Will you allow

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Speaker 1: me to take us through a little journal exercise? Of course,

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Speaker 1: because I would look okay, so everybody listening, Hey, so

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Speaker 1: go ahead find a journal. If you don't have one

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Speaker 1: in your hands, go get a journal, could be a

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Speaker 1: notebook and a pencil or a pet and just find

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Speaker 1: yourself right now clearing your thoughts. Plus do some very

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Speaker 1: simple inhaling and exhale and very simple inhal exhale in

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Speaker 1: hell exhale honoring twenty one because we have made it

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Speaker 1: through yet another year. These last two years have been

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Speaker 1: absolutely positively insane, and they have threatened to take many

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Speaker 1: of us out, and they've taken many of us out.

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Speaker 1: So the prompts I have for us are Number one,

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Speaker 1: can you name one experience that truly brought you joy

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Speaker 1: this year? What is something that happened? And I want

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Speaker 1: you to think about it. And if you don't think

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Speaker 1: about it now and you want to come back to it,

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Speaker 1: that's fine too. But when you look back through January

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Speaker 1: February March April May, June, July, August, September, October, November,

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Speaker 1: and now December. What is an experience that brought joy?

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Speaker 1: Why did it bring you joy? How did it make

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Speaker 1: you feel inside? Next, I want you to name and

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Speaker 1: experiences that might have brought you some setness, something that

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Speaker 1: you had to confront or face. It could have been

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Speaker 1: a loss of some kind that you had to go through.

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Speaker 1: Because life is about the joy and the pain, so

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Speaker 1: acknowledging both of those, and then I should think about

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Speaker 1: the joy and the pain of your acknowledging. Perhaps with

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Speaker 1: your eyes closed, perhaps with an open, But there is

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Speaker 1: treasure that lies in both the joy and the pain.

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Speaker 1: I invite you to look at your life as it

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Speaker 1: stands right now, the day in which you're listening to

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Speaker 1: this particular podcast, and ask yourself, are you happy with

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Speaker 1: the life that you are leading? There's no judgment on

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Speaker 1: that answer. Don't judge yourself, but just ask yourself. If

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Speaker 1: you want to rank yourself and do a one to ten, fine,

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Speaker 1: but are you happy? And then if you are less

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Speaker 1: than a ten, ask yourself, are there little barriers that

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Speaker 1: exists to you pursuing or creating the life that you

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Speaker 1: really want? Knowing that each of us we are creative

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Speaker 1: being who were created out of creation. So if there

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Speaker 1: is something that you want to become, something you want

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Speaker 1: to be in this light, trusting that each of us

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Speaker 1: was created on purpose and with a purpose that if

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Speaker 1: there is a gap between where you are right now

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Speaker 1: and you're total happiness, that you can create your happiness.

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Speaker 1: That does not mean it's going to be without work.

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Speaker 1: You might have to make some bold rules. We have

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Speaker 1: to move fear out of the way, but thinking about

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Speaker 1: what stands between your happiness and your best life. And

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Speaker 1: as we close this particular exercise, I invite us to

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Speaker 1: inhale and exhale as we close, inhaling what is and

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Speaker 1: exhaling what can be. So I always do right four

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Speaker 1: to four breathing. So just inhaling one two three four

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Speaker 1: for what is holding for two exhaling four three two

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Speaker 1: one for what will be? That is my via journal exercise,

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Speaker 1: and I invite you all to really take the lives

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Speaker 1: and we have been given by our creator. Seriously, what

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Speaker 1: is it that you need to do to live the

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Speaker 1: life that you were created to? Laugh? Thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for them, Olivia, What a beautiful exercise I think

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Speaker 1: can be a great way to close out what has

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Speaker 1: been Thank you for sharing it. More from my conversation

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Speaker 1: with Olivia after the break. So, another thing that you

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Speaker 1: talked a lot about on your channel is the use

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Speaker 1: of affirmations, and I think that is also something that

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Speaker 1: more people are using as a part of their like

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Speaker 1: self care routines and like really taking care of themselves.

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Speaker 1: Can you say a little bit more about what affirmations

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Speaker 1: are and like when we need to use them? Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: If you look at the etymology of the word ask

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Speaker 1: too from Latin and firm firm so to firm, it's

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Speaker 1: when you need to acknowledge something in your life. And

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Speaker 1: I find that we need to speak affirmations over our lives,

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Speaker 1: Dr Joy. We need to define who we are and

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Speaker 1: what we want because we have an entire world that

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Speaker 1: is happy to tell us who to be, how to be,

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Speaker 1: where to go, how to dress, what dress, sides, which

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Speaker 1: you have, what man we should have, what kind of house,

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Speaker 1: what kind of car. But affirmations for us can cement

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Speaker 1: this is what we're doing today. I will be strong today,

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Speaker 1: I will not have fear, I will live my best life.

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Speaker 1: I will honor my body. So I love just being

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Speaker 1: like Okay, all this craziest is happening around me, But

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Speaker 1: let me tell mean what I will and will not do,

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Speaker 1: and it allows me to stand as a woman of character,

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Speaker 1: a woman of integrity. We've all heard that saying that

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Speaker 1: people who stand for nothing will fall or nothing, And

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Speaker 1: I think there's nothing better to stand for than standing

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Speaker 1: for who I am and what I want in my

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Speaker 1: life and what I will and will not do, what

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Speaker 1: I will and will not allow in my life. So, Olivia,

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Speaker 1: how do we take care not to dip into toxic

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Speaker 1: positivity with affirmations? Because I feel like there's like a

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Speaker 1: fine line. Who when I think about toxic positivity, I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking about these things that we tell people like everything

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Speaker 1: will be fine, are like there's a reason for this storm,

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Speaker 1: things that kind of separates you from actually feeling the

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Speaker 1: pain maybe of an experience, which is necessary, right we

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Speaker 1: already talked about like joy in the pain that exists

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Speaker 1: because we're human. I mean, sometimes I feel like you

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Speaker 1: have to be careful with affirmations because sometimes they go

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Speaker 1: too far in pushing you from experiencing the reality of

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Speaker 1: a situation. It's so interesting because I actually purchased the

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Speaker 1: set of affirmation cards and a few of them. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: this is crazy. I'm not saying this right, It's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm absolutely not saying this. I think your affirmations need

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Speaker 1: to come from your spirit. It's something that is resolute

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Speaker 1: and divine. If you ask me, based on your life experience,

432
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 1: it's gotta be grooted in truth, your truth. So as

433
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 1: you're looking for affirmations, I actually invite us to look within.

434
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: I invite us for everything, to not do so much

435
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,680
Speaker 1: of looking without, but more within. What are things you

436
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 1: need to affirm or yourself? That's where all of my

437
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 1: affirmations come from. They come from my life experience and

438
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: knowing what it felt like to have experienced a certain

439
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 1: things that likely was negative and saying I will not

440
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: allow myself to be used. I will not enter into

441
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 1: a relationship in which I am not honored and cherished.

442
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. It's like what I will

443
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 1: and will not do based on my life experience. So

444
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,480
Speaker 1: to me, that's where I believe they should come from.

445
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 1: It's from your spirit. And to your point, I think

446
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 1: a lot of people sometimes get turned off by words

447
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: of affirmation and like using affirmations because it does feel

448
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 1: kind of cheesy, But I think a lot of times

449
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,959
Speaker 1: that cheesiness comes because we're trying to borrow other people's

450
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,719
Speaker 1: words right as opposed to what we really feel like.

451
00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:58,680
Speaker 1: We need affirm for ourselves that really only we can

452
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,520
Speaker 1: give us without to joy to that period right there.

453
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,479
Speaker 1: That's it, That's what I've created myself. And if you

454
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: want to say them, I use your own words with

455
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,680
Speaker 1: drive by people to do on my childel that this

456
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying, but say it in your own way.

457
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 1: Got it? So you've already offered us a beautiful journal

458
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 1: exercise for how to close out? Are there additional journal

459
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,840
Speaker 1: prompts that you would offer for how to usher? In

460
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two? I would invite us to ask ourselves,

461
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,000
Speaker 1: and it's similar to one of the things I said,

462
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: but what are you doing here on earth? And that's braun?

463
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:44,760
Speaker 1: But I believe a lot of us get disconnected with

464
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 1: our purpose living in this life. There are things that

465
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 1: happened between us being a hopeful five year old little

466
00:29:54,680 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 1: girl and a year old person. And I invite us

467
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: to ask ourselves what are we really doing with our time?

468
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:11,640
Speaker 1: What are we dealing with our resources? And is there

469
00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 1: something different that we want to be doing, because for me,

470
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 1: it continues to come back to another being redundant, this

471
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 1: part of it living our best, most free lives ever.

472
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: So I think in that I would invite us to

473
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 1: do an inventory of our relationships, the company we keep

474
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: dr joy. Are there some new people that we want

475
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:40,000
Speaker 1: to invite our lives. I would definitely write that down.

476
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 1: For me. I remember about three years ago writing down

477
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 1: that I wanted to expand my circle, that I wanted

478
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 1: to connect with more entrepreneurial woman And I just wrote

479
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:58,960
Speaker 1: it down as something that I wanted. And after writing

480
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,560
Speaker 1: it down and how into my awareness that it was

481
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 1: something that I really wanted to attract in my life.

482
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 1: And then when various people began to show up and

483
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,720
Speaker 1: engage me who were entrepreneurial women, I was like, this

484
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 1: is what I was writing about several years ago. So

485
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 1: I just invite us to to lean into writing things

486
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 1: that are on our spirit about things we want to

487
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:31,320
Speaker 1: attract in our lives. In every area. Career relationship, even

488
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: if you're married, there you can we can always have

489
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:40,360
Speaker 1: a better relationship. So career relationships, being a parent, if

490
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 1: you are a businesswoman, if you are a chourch leader.

491
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 1: If you're a civic leader, they're always aerients on which

492
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 1: we can improve ourselves. Thank you for it. So the

493
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,640
Speaker 1: other space that many of us are in right now is, Okay,

494
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,560
Speaker 1: what do we give to the people we love in

495
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 1: our lives? And so I feel like you've given us

496
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:59,400
Speaker 1: this beautiful gift to talk about, like journaling and affirmation.

497
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: But for people well in our lives who maybe are

498
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 1: into this, or if we think this would be a

499
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,920
Speaker 1: great practice for them to adopt. Do you have favorite

500
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 1: like journals or brands that you really love that you

501
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: think we should have our eye on. Michaels have in

502
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,160
Speaker 1: their arts and crafts section. They got sketch books, and

503
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: they've got some journals. I got some free form sketch

504
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 1: pads that are bound that I used from our journals.

505
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: From Michaels, I get a lot of gifts that are

506
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 1: just blunt journals, and I know they get them from

507
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: Marshals at Home Goods and all that stuff there, and

508
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:30,960
Speaker 1: I think those work just fun. This does not have

509
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,160
Speaker 1: to be This is not golf or even pilates or

510
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 1: yoga where this has to be an expensive venture. Right,

511
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: we can go to Marshalls and Home goods and dar

512
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: anywhere you go and just get you and let me

513
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 1: tell you something. There have been times when I have

514
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 1: been traveling and very very rarely though, when I don't

515
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: have a journal with me, where I would just have

516
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 1: to get a note pan from the hotel or just

517
00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 1: a regular three way binder. Like the whole writing process,

518
00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,000
Speaker 1: you know, I don't want it to be any barriers

519
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,959
Speaker 1: to it. Dr Joy whatever you can get your hands

520
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 1: on the write and get it out, do it. So, Olivia,

521
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 1: tell us where we can stay connected with you if

522
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 1: you would like to share your website as well as

523
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 1: any social media handles that you'd like to share. Absolutely so,

524
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,239
Speaker 1: Freedom at the Matt dot com. It's going to be

525
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: the point of entry for where our videos from YouTube.

526
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 1: Our house. We do have a YouTube channel. I invite

527
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: everybody please to subscribe. It's free and we offer affirmations, meditations,

528
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 1: my influenced exercises, anti yoga and the whole premise with

529
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 1: Freedom at the mattus to make one successible to everyone globally.

530
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 1: But also most importantly, we know that it is hard

531
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: for us to prioritize me time. So our content we

532
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:55,959
Speaker 1: promised all between two minutes and thirty minutes. So Freedom

533
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 1: at the Matt dot com is what I would love

534
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 1: for you. I'll just spend some time and then subscribe

535
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 1: to our channel on YouTube. Now, of course we're on

536
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook, but the core is really the YouTube content.

537
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 1: That's really where the course. But we are also Instagram

538
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,600
Speaker 1: Freedom at the Man dot com as Wallace, Facebook frem perfect,

539
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:18,239
Speaker 1: but we would be sure as to include all of

540
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:20,760
Speaker 1: that in our show notes. Thank you so much forward

541
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 1: sharing with us today, Olivia. Beautiful conversation as well as

542
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 1: the journal exercise. Thank you so much, and again, I'm

543
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 1: so grateful to you for what you created. And I

544
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: honor every single woman in the world, and I hope

545
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 1: that together we support each other in becoming the best

546
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 1: most free women possible, mentally free, emotionally free, socially free,

547
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:46,560
Speaker 1: so that we can really live life in the way

548
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: it was intended for us to live. Indeed, thank you

549
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 1: for that. I'm so glad Olivia was able to share

550
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,359
Speaker 1: her expertise with us today. To learn more about her work,

551
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 1: or to check out her YouTube page with other great exercises,

552
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 1: visit the show notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot Com.

553
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: Slash Session to thirty nine, and don't forget to text

554
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,440
Speaker 1: two of your girls right now and tell them to

555
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 1: check out the episode as well. If you're looking for

556
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,600
Speaker 1: a therapist in your area, be sure to check out

557
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,680
Speaker 1: our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com

558
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,799
Speaker 1: slash directory. And if you want to continue digging into

559
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: this topic or just be in community with other sisters,

560
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 1: come on over and join us in the Sister Circle.

561
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 1: It's our cozy corner of the Internet designed just for

562
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 1: black women. You can join us at community that Therapy

563
00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 1: for Black Girls dot com. Thank you all so much

564
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,160
Speaker 1: for joining me again this week. I look forward to

565
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,520
Speaker 1: continue in this conversation with you all real soon. Take

566
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 1: good care,