1 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your big sister Cheeky's and you've reached 2 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 1: my personal voicemailbox for the Dear Cheekys podcast. I'm here 3 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 1: to give you a device on anything and everything you 4 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:31,160 Speaker 1: need help with. Whether you're going through a breakup or 5 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 1: having issues with your family, or maybe you have a 6 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,360 Speaker 1: question about my personal life. Whatever the case is, I 7 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: want to hear from you. Remember these are my thoughts 8 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: in my opinions, and if you're suffering from a serious 9 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: issue or hardship, you should seek help from a qualified professional. 10 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: All right, now, go ahead and leave your message at 11 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:49,560 Speaker 1: the sound of the beeB. 12 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 2: Hello, beautiful queen. I'm not gonna say my name because 13 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 2: it's kind of taboo. I just want to let you 14 00:00:56,880 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 2: know I met you once and Kotzu's play. It was backstage. 15 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 2: I was with my mama and you're gorgeous. You're gorgeous. 16 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 2: You're gorgeous, and you have a beautiful heart. We shared 17 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 2: a moment together. You were like, take care of your mom, 18 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 2: I missed mine. We both teared up, gave each other 19 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 2: a big hug, and that's a moment I'll treasure forever. Anyways, 20 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 2: so real quick, I used to be in toxic relationships 21 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 2: really bad. I decided I wanted better. I went with therapy. 22 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 2: I healed my heart and everything got so much better. 23 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 2: I met an amazing man afterwards. You know how they 24 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 2: say when you least expected, well, girl, that thing is true. 25 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 2: It was when I least expected. Beautiful man, beautiful soul 26 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 2: takes care of my heart. Everything I prayed for. We 27 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,119 Speaker 2: were blessed with the beautiful child. Our child is about 28 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 2: to be six months. He's a great father. Anyways, everything 29 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 2: is amazing. He's a great, great person, and I love him, 30 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 2: and I know he adores me. I know he loves me, 31 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 2: There's no question about it. But girl, intimacy is an issue. 32 00:01:58,120 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 3: Man. 33 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,400 Speaker 2: So at the beginning, it was all the time time, 34 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 2: you know, so I felt this bired wanted. But now 35 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 2: it's tough. It's really really tough. Things have changed. We're 36 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 2: going tough therapy. But how do I approach the situation? 37 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,680 Speaker 1: Oh my Peico girl, I'm not gonna lie and tell 38 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,280 Speaker 1: you that I remember that moment, but I'm assuming that 39 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:19,720 Speaker 1: if it was hit out of the old thieves, that 40 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: must have been like twenty fourteen, something like that, fifteen, 41 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: because that was like my head out of the thes 42 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: era but mail's real buzz. But I'm glad we had 43 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 1: a moment, So thank you for sharing that with me. 44 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: And I understand that you don't want to share a name. 45 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:40,240 Speaker 1: I'm glad that you found someone that takes care of 46 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: your heart and loves you. I don't know how old 47 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:48,120 Speaker 1: your baby is. I'm assuming this whole intimacy thing happened 48 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: after having the baby, darn you know. I'm glad you 49 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: guys are going to therapy because that is important, and 50 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,600 Speaker 1: I think what you're doing now is approaching the situation 51 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: in the conversation, and I'm glad that he's willing to 52 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:08,239 Speaker 1: do therapy. So I'm not sure if you guys are 53 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 1: going to therapy because of the intimacy thing, but if 54 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,080 Speaker 1: you haven't brought it up, you know, you don't know 55 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,040 Speaker 1: how to bring it up with him. Therapy is definitely 56 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 1: the place to do it. When there are things that 57 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell, like emilia or how 58 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:24,600 Speaker 1: to bring it up to him my husband. I'm always like, Okay, 59 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 1: I think we need a session, a couple's therapy session, 60 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,239 Speaker 1: because I feel like when there's someone there to mediate, 61 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: you know, sometimes I don't know how to say things 62 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: or I could say them incorrectly, and then maybe the 63 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: therapist will help me, you know, facilitate that. And I 64 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 1: think that's a safe place to bring it up. Is 65 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 1: during therapy. It's hard because I feel like I don't know, 66 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 1: I don't have enough information because you said the intimacy, 67 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: so I'm assuming maybe he's not wanting to have sex 68 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: as much or as often as he used to. Is 69 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 1: it more of like you not wanting to Of course, 70 00:03:57,920 --> 00:04:01,360 Speaker 1: things change like relationships go through faise is you know 71 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: you're doing the correct thing by doing therapy, and I 72 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,920 Speaker 1: hope it does work out, especially because you guys have 73 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 1: a child together, and if he's worth fighting for because 74 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: he takes care of your heart and he's a provider 75 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: and he's a great father, then you know, this is 76 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: a little thing that is a huge and very important 77 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 1: thing in a relationship, sex and intimacy. I'm hoping and 78 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: praying that it does get all figured out through therapy. 79 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: I think more than anything, it's also are you giving 80 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:36,360 Speaker 1: him oral sex? Are you doing things that he likes loss? 81 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: You know, are you putting on like lingerie? Are you 82 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 1: dancing for him? Like? How can you do things differently 83 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,800 Speaker 1: to spice up the relationship on your end, like doing 84 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: your part, not just you know, oh he doesn't like 85 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 1: you know he used to Sorry, guys, kids, be careful. 86 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: Okay you know what I'm about to say all parents, 87 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: if kids are listening. But what I'm saying is like, 88 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,480 Speaker 1: maybe you were used to him, you know, getting a 89 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 1: direction right away when you would touch him. Like things change, 90 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 1: you know, and things get a little dull. So you 91 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 1: have to find new ways to spice up the relationship. 92 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: And instead of just focusing on oh he used to 93 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: do this or he is not doing that, like, start 94 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: looking at yourself and saying, hey, how can I spice 95 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 1: things up? Ask him questions like is there something that 96 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 1: do you have a fantasy? Do you want to watch 97 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: you know, poorn together? I don't know, Like tell him 98 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 1: you are interested in making this work. I'm sure your 99 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: body has changed, and be compassionate with yourself about that 100 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 1: because you did have a baby. But you also, you know, 101 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:40,279 Speaker 1: want to take care of yourself and you know, do 102 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,520 Speaker 1: things that will make you feel better and give you 103 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 1: more energy and help you lose you know, the baby 104 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,800 Speaker 1: way and stuff. And I hope he understands that too. 105 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,839 Speaker 1: So I don't know. I'm hoping that I gave you 106 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: some clarity and a good answer to your question, but 107 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: I feel like I need a little tiny bit more information. 108 00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: But that's my suggestion, my peokle girl, So let me know. 109 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:04,119 Speaker 1: Hopefully gets better. I'm praying for you, and therapy always helps, 110 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 1: especially when the guy is willing and is like all 111 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,919 Speaker 1: in and it seems like he is. So that's a 112 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,840 Speaker 1: great sign. So I have faith that you guys will 113 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:18,680 Speaker 1: fix this and get around it. All right, guys, So 114 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 1: next question comes from Christine. 115 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:26,039 Speaker 3: Hijk's I'm calling I need your advice. I've been with 116 00:06:26,279 --> 00:06:30,120 Speaker 3: my fiance for almost eight years and we have two kids. 117 00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 3: The problem is there's this girl that he had as 118 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 3: a friend when they were younger. He still has her 119 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 3: as a friend on social media now. She's always been 120 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 3: brought up like she's the family knows her, she's a 121 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 3: family friend. According to him, the family brings her up 122 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 3: like saying like they were together. And I've always asked 123 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,760 Speaker 3: him about her, like we're all together, like you know, 124 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 3: He's always told me know that he never liked her, 125 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 3: that they always wanted him to be with her, but 126 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 3: he never liked her. So and so on. Past forward, 127 00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 3: a few years, she's coming up his brothers bring her like, 128 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 3: saying that that was the six girlfriend and blah blah 129 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,880 Speaker 3: blah whatever. So I'm asking him, like, you know this 130 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,000 Speaker 3: bothers me, this girl, you have her as a friend, 131 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 3: you're liking her pictures, and then recently I kind him 132 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 3: looking at her profile on social media. He told me 133 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 3: that he wasn't gonna take her off, that that's a 134 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 3: family friend. But yeah, so I don't I don't know 135 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 3: like it bothers me. I feel like, if your woman 136 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,760 Speaker 3: is telling you something bothers her, then you need to 137 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 3: fix the problem. I don't know how to go about it. 138 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 3: I don't know what to do. Again. We've been together 139 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,720 Speaker 3: for almost eight years. This has been a ongoing thing 140 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 3: for almost the whole time we've been together. What should 141 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 3: I do? By the way, I love you, I love 142 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 3: your show, love everything. 143 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: Bye mm Christine girl, Okay, thank you, I love you too. Okay, 144 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 1: damn social media? Huh. Well, look, I'm not telling you 145 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 1: to be drama, but if the family is saying this 146 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 1: and like openly, like they say it openly in front 147 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 1: of you, then there has to be some truth there 148 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:13,679 Speaker 1: and if you are catching him looking at her page 149 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: and liking her stuff, then there's something there, you know, 150 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 1: and you can't ignore that because if it was the 151 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,680 Speaker 1: other way around, I'm sure he wouldn't like it. So 152 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 1: when I say, I'm not telling you like to be 153 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 1: a drama girl, and no, I don't want you to 154 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: start drama, but he's not willing to tell you the 155 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: whole truth. So I'm wondering what would happen if you 156 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: were to send her a message through Instagram asking her, Hey, 157 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: don't want to start problems. I just kind of want 158 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: to get to the bottom of this. Were you guys together. 159 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: I just want to know for my peace of mind. 160 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 1: Yeah I get that, he said, like see what she says, 161 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:58,840 Speaker 1: but you also have to either give him an ultimatum 162 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 1: at this point. You guys have children together, you guys 163 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,960 Speaker 1: have been together for this long. Like, I think you 164 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 1: just got to be straight up be like, look, this 165 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: is this is making me feel uncomfortable. I don't like 166 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: how this is making me feel. Fine, if you don't 167 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,680 Speaker 1: want to one follow her because she's a family friend, okay, 168 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,440 Speaker 1: can you mute her? Can you not have conversations or 169 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:23,959 Speaker 1: like her pictures? But honestly, like you should be his priority, 170 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 1: you and his children. So whatever is going to make 171 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: you feel more comfortable, he should be willing to do. 172 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: If he's not willing to do that, there's something there, 173 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,680 Speaker 1: like why are you choosing this woman and not hurting 174 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,400 Speaker 1: her feelings over my own? You know, Like that's where 175 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 1: my problem is. Like I'm sure if there was someone 176 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 1: that you were following and he wasn't like okay with it, 177 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 1: you would do that because you're like, I love you, 178 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,679 Speaker 1: I want this to work. This is my family, you're 179 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 1: the father of my children. He should be willing to 180 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: do the same thing, and you should also feel like, okay, 181 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 1: either he does that, the ultimatum is either you unfollow 182 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: her and you choose us your family over her, or 183 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 1: we just can't make this work because there there is 184 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,520 Speaker 1: definitely something there. I'm not trying to put things in 185 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: your head, but you're asking this question because you feel 186 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: the same thing. So I think you need to really 187 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:15,440 Speaker 1: really think about this. Because his family's saying it. Of 188 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: course he's gonna deny it. I don't know what she 189 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,560 Speaker 1: will say, but this is making you uncomfortable, and it's 190 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,720 Speaker 1: been a thing for a long time. So either you're 191 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,959 Speaker 1: just gonna be okay with it and just ignore it, 192 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 1: or you put a stop to it. That is it, Christine. 193 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: I hope everything works out. Please keep us updated. I 194 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:41,720 Speaker 1: hope he comes to his senses. Okay, guys. Next question 195 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 1: comes from an anonymous listener. 196 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 4: Let's see, Hey, Cheeky's I just want to start off 197 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 4: by saying, Amoion podcast, in general, your whole family is 198 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:03,719 Speaker 4: an inspiration. Is so. I have a sister who has 199 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:08,680 Speaker 4: a boyfriend. And the boyfriend he's okay, he's cool. But 200 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:15,240 Speaker 4: my sister she only focuses on him. She's kind of 201 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 4: you know, doesn't really pay much attention to us, her sisters, 202 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 4: her parents, herself. Even she used to gym five times 203 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 4: a week with me, she doesn't anymore. Every weekend from 204 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 4: Friday to Sunday, the only thing she does is be 205 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 4: with the boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with it to a 206 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:42,560 Speaker 4: certain extent, but I feel like she has prioritized him 207 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:45,839 Speaker 4: amongst other things. And basically, I just want to know 208 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 4: how do we tell her that what she's doing is 209 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 4: kind of. 210 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,520 Speaker 3: Pushing others away. 211 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 4: Her only prioritizing her boyfriend is damaging relationships around her. 212 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the only way is telling her straight up, 213 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 1: always with love. It's all about how you deliver your message. 214 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:11,360 Speaker 1: But this happens a lot, and I'll be the first 215 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: to say, when I was younger, you know, I had 216 00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: a lot of daddy issues, and what I wanted was 217 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 1: to have love and feel loved and you know, the 218 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: boy thing, and I would forget about my friends and 219 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: everyone around me because I was so fixated on this person, 220 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,439 Speaker 1: on this guy, you know. And as I grew older 221 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 1: and matured, I learned that that is not necessarily the 222 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: healthiest I learned that the hard way. Though I don't 223 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 1: know how your sister is, and I don't know how 224 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: many relationships she's had. Maybe this is something really new, 225 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:44,959 Speaker 1: so she's super excited about it, and she should give 226 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:48,880 Speaker 1: her relationship time. Absolutely, but everything in life is balanced, 227 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: and I think you need to kind of just tell 228 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 1: her with love, just hey, I miss you. I miss 229 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 1: when we used to go to the gym together, you know, 230 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: because then people what happens is that they get into 231 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: relationships and they start eating, and we start gaining weight 232 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,040 Speaker 1: in our body. Like because you said she used to 233 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 1: go to the gym five times out of the week, 234 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 1: and then they get really comfortable, and then what happens 235 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 1: is they forget to still be the person that they 236 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,800 Speaker 1: were that attracted that person, and they make their whole 237 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:20,040 Speaker 1: life about the person. But what people really like, and 238 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:25,280 Speaker 1: what I've learned is when you still prioritize yourself, he's 239 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 1: going to also love and respect her for that. So 240 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,600 Speaker 1: I think you have to find a way of telling 241 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: her like, hey, like you have to find balance, like yes, 242 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,719 Speaker 1: be with your man, but still do the things that 243 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 1: make you happy, and find time for your sisters and 244 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 1: for your friends and for yourself, like going to the 245 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,280 Speaker 1: gym and still doing all those things that at the 246 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: end of the day, did like attract him to her, 247 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:50,120 Speaker 1: not to forget who she is and who she was 248 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: before she met him. You know, I think with love, 249 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 1: you definitely have to bring this up because if you don't, 250 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,480 Speaker 1: then she's not gonna know and you can't say I 251 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 1: told you so. Not that you should say that, but 252 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 1: you know soba sonayan Gano, if you tell the person, hey, 253 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 1: I brought it up and I told you, then they 254 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,560 Speaker 1: can't hold that against you later, if that makes sense. 255 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 1: So so I would love and tell her you miss 256 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:18,240 Speaker 1: her and tell her that it's healthy to do that. 257 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: Now in my marriage, I have my girls' night, I 258 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:23,280 Speaker 1: still do my thing, I go to the spall like, 259 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 1: I still want to be the person that I was 260 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,760 Speaker 1: before I met him because I don't want to lose 261 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,160 Speaker 1: myself in the relationship. I give him his time, but 262 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:35,000 Speaker 1: it's all balanced. So I get you. I understand what 263 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: you're going through. Just talk to her, Talk to her. Okay, 264 00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 1: all right, So our last question comes from Ashley. 265 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:49,920 Speaker 5: Ola Chiki's me nombres. Ashley, then go Vin nueve An, Luisville, 266 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 5: Kentucky and own. 267 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 2: Latina. 268 00:14:55,960 --> 00:15:01,960 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm not Latina. I am African American, but I 269 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,880 Speaker 5: am such a huge fan. I'm a huge fan of 270 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 5: you and your siblings, and you guys are the reason 271 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 5: that I started learning Spanish, and actually it's part of 272 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,560 Speaker 5: my career now. It's funny because my degree is in music, 273 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 5: but I work in healthcare and I'm a bilingual patient 274 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 5: services associate. 275 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 2: So I just I owe. 276 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 5: A great deal of thanks to you and your siblings 277 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 5: and your incredible mom for motivating me to learn Spanish. 278 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 5: Now onto the question. So I will be thirty this 279 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:41,440 Speaker 5: coming May, and I'm sort of in this glow up 280 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 5: era where I want to transition into the woman that 281 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 5: God created me to be, who I'm meant to be, 282 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 5: And You've always been such an inspiration. I've even done 283 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 5: a presentation on you in my Spanish class in college, 284 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 5: and I just want to know what are some of 285 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 5: your biggest tips to becoming your own dream girl? To me, 286 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 5: you are everything, So I just wanted to know. 287 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,640 Speaker 1: Oh, Ashley, You're gonna make me cry. Thank you so much. 288 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,840 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, that is so awesome. I love that 289 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: we inspired you and now it's a part of your career. 290 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 1: That's that's freaking awesome. Thank you so much for your 291 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 1: support and I'm definitely wishing you all the best and 292 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:30,200 Speaker 1: all your endeavors. And you know, I have always told 293 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 1: myself that I want to be true to myself and 294 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: be my authentic self and not be what everyone else 295 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,680 Speaker 1: thinks I should be. I want to do what I 296 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 1: am meant to do and who I am meant to 297 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: be in the world. And one thing I've always had 298 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 1: clear and what has helped me make decisions in my 299 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,520 Speaker 1: life and has helped me become the woman that I am, 300 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 1: I think is that I've always had clear my mission 301 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 1: in the world, which was to help I didn't know 302 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:57,800 Speaker 1: how I was going to do it. I mean, I 303 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: have seen this and I have felt it, and this 304 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:04,439 Speaker 1: desire to want to help others and make people better 305 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 1: in any way that I can since I was young, 306 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 1: and keeping that like having like a mission statement in 307 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,920 Speaker 1: your brain, embedded in your brain and imprinted in your heart, 308 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:15,919 Speaker 1: like knowing this is the difference that I want to 309 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 1: make in the world. It just helps you move differently 310 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,800 Speaker 1: in every single way. It makes you want to like 311 00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:26,000 Speaker 1: be your best self and also with that, you're gonna 312 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,920 Speaker 1: make mistakes along the way, and that's okay, but being 313 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,000 Speaker 1: true to yourself about it and taking ownership of it, 314 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 1: being true to yourself first and foremost so that you 315 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,280 Speaker 1: can be of inspiration to other people, you know. So 316 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 1: it all depends. I think it's just more than anything, 317 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:47,680 Speaker 1: having very very clear what message, what footprint you want 318 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:52,680 Speaker 1: to leave in the world, that being so like solidified 319 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:57,280 Speaker 1: in that will definitely just help you move and take 320 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,800 Speaker 1: every step towards what you're meant to do. But I 321 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 1: feel like you're good, Like I'm hearing you speak and 322 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, she's good. Like I feel like you 323 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:09,720 Speaker 1: are very clear in what you want. And you know, 324 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:13,200 Speaker 1: I think just not forgetting being true to yourself and 325 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:17,199 Speaker 1: not letting the world change your essence. You know, because 326 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,959 Speaker 1: we live in a world that a lot of stuff 327 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:23,159 Speaker 1: is happening, a lot of sad things have happened. But 328 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 1: don't let that change you, and don't let that change 329 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,760 Speaker 1: and move your focus. You know, I always say, God, 330 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,840 Speaker 1: keep my feet firmly grounded, my vision focused, and my 331 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 1: heart in the right place. Say that every single day 332 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 1: and you will see that little by little things would 333 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,679 Speaker 1: just fall into place and you will be your spirit 334 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 1: will guide you where you need to go. So Ashley, 335 00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: definitely let us know what's going on with you, with 336 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,120 Speaker 1: all of you, with Peekle Girl, Christine, our anonymous listener, 337 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,960 Speaker 1: all of you guys, I definitely want to hear back 338 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,280 Speaker 1: from you. Please keep us updated and thank you so 339 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:55,000 Speaker 1: much for your time for taking the time to leave 340 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 1: us or leave me a question. And for those of 341 00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:59,480 Speaker 1: you listening if you have not yet left me a 342 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,800 Speaker 1: question and if you feel inspired to do so, definitely 343 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,200 Speaker 1: go to speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts 344 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,840 Speaker 1: to leave me your question. Okay, I am here to help. 345 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 1: I love you guys, and I will catch you on 346 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 1: the next episode of Dear Cheeky's. This is a production 347 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:22,719 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and the Michael Dura podcast Network. Follow us 348 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,880 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's 349 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 1: That's c h I q U I s. For more 350 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,960 Speaker 1: podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 351 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,159 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite podcast.