1 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 1: Hey guys, I'm Hotocopy. Welcome to Joy. Wanna won the podcast. 2 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:18,720 Speaker 1: So I am constantly seeking I'm like seeking inspiration, I'm 3 00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 1: seeking joy, I'm seeking things that just make me feel good. 4 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 1: And something crazy happened to me on a flight the 5 00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: other day. So I was flying back from Miami and 6 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: it was seven am. I was exhausted. It was like 7 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,879 Speaker 1: just another regular flight. I'm sitting down and there's a 8 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: guy who gets on the plane and he was supposed 9 00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: to be sitting in another seat, but that was occupied. 10 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: So we just plopped down next to me and we 11 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 1: started talking. And so I thought it was going to 12 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: be a two minute conversation and then I was going 13 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,159 Speaker 1: to go ninety nine. So the guy goes, you know, 14 00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,879 Speaker 1: I've been feeling kind of heavy lately, and I was like, oh, 15 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: I go, I go, what do you mean? He goes, 16 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: I just I saw this image on Instagram and it 17 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: was a child who was an orphan and was hungry, 18 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,559 Speaker 1: and I can't stop thinking about him, like I couldn't stop. 19 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,680 Speaker 1: I woke up in the night and I couldn't stop 20 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,680 Speaker 1: thinking about him, and so I did a deep dive 21 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: on the kid. So he went on Instagram and he 22 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: found the photographer who took the picture. Then he found 23 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,160 Speaker 1: the orphanage and it was in Uganda. Any track track 24 00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 1: tracked until he got in touch with a man who 25 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 1: ran the orphanage. And he called and he said, listen, 26 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: I saw this image. Can I send something? And the 27 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: guy said, send anything. So we sent clothes, and then 28 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 1: the guy on the plane showed me a picture of 29 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: the kids wearing new clothes, and I was getting teary eyed. 30 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: I was like feeling that feeling and he was like 31 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: and then they asked. I asked, how much does it 32 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 1: cost to feed all these children? An image of like 33 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,319 Speaker 1: dozens and dozens of kids, and he said two hundred 34 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: and thirty two dollars a month, and so we started 35 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 1: sending money. So this conversation, weirdly like cracked me open, 36 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 1: like we were sharing. It was beautiful, like I was weepy. 37 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: It was like one of those weird encounters that you 38 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: feel like you're you have different feelings inside. I get 39 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: off the plane, I'm walking and this woman is in 40 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,000 Speaker 1: a wheelchair. Her husband's pushing her and their four year 41 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 1: old daughter is walking along. I'm walking normal. She slips 42 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 1: her hand in my hand and just holds it and 43 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: I look at her and she goes, my name is Brie, 44 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 1: and I go, hi. So I'm walking. This kid is 45 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 1: holding my hand. We're walking through the airport and her 46 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 1: parents just kind of smile and we keep walking and 47 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 1: we get to the elevator and she says, I have 48 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 1: to take the elevator with my mom and dad. Will 49 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 1: will you wait for me? Because I was taking the escalator. 50 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: So I said yes, So I took the escalator, waited 51 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 1: for Brie, and she slipped her hand back in mine 52 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: and we walked to the door and I say goodbye. 53 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 1: And I can't stop thinking about this encounter because I 54 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:56,320 Speaker 1: think what happened was on the plane, I was kind 55 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 1: of cracked open, and you know that feeling when you're open, 56 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: suddenly goodness comes well, all of a sudden, that little 57 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: four year old girl and me, we were connected, and 58 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 1: I thought to myself, all I want to do is 59 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 1: have more of that. I want to have more of 60 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 1: those moments that open you up, make you feel joyful, 61 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 1: show you that there's goodness all around. So joys in 62 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: the tiny things, which brings me to our episode today. 63 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,079 Speaker 1: Who is somebody who personifies joy? You know, the kind 64 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 1: of person who when they walk in a room like damn, 65 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: it's like the lights go on, you want to be 66 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 1: near that person. Well, I know who that person is. 67 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: It's Alfonso Ribero. Alfonso is the guy from Fresh Prince 68 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: of bel Airybody's more than all that. This guy is 69 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,560 Speaker 1: somebody who everyone in Hollywood says is the nicest guy. 70 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: He's the guy who is kind to every single person. 71 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: What makes him that way? What's he about? Where does 72 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: it come from? We're gonna explore all of it our 73 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: podcast Joy one oh one. So first of. 74 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 2: All, yay, ye're here. I'm here. 75 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:11,120 Speaker 1: Yes, And you were hand selected when we were talking 76 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: about guests, okay, because this podcast is called Joy one 77 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 1: oh one, Right, and I was thinking to myself, who 78 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 1: who's the Joy guy? Who's the guy when he walks 79 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:24,839 Speaker 1: in the room, everyone goes, oh God, and you're you're 80 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 1: that guy. So I do have a question for you. 81 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 2: Yeah that Okay. 82 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: Is this a I wake up in the morning and 83 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:35,600 Speaker 1: automatically I got it going? Or is this does it 84 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: take a little bit to get where you're going. 85 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,040 Speaker 3: I've gotta be awake, you gotta be I've gotta be 86 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 3: awake like I always say, there's there's two sides. 87 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,040 Speaker 2: To my personality. 88 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 3: Okay, there is the going to sleep waking up angry. Right, 89 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 3: there's that side of Alfonso that is the very real side, 90 00:04:55,640 --> 00:05:00,360 Speaker 3: and then there's we walk into the world and in 91 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:04,839 Speaker 3: the world, I'm happy and it's not put on. It's 92 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 3: not It's like, I feel so lucky and blessed that 93 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,559 Speaker 3: I get to do what I do still forty seven 94 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:18,839 Speaker 3: years later. It's amazing to me when I'm like, I'm 95 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 3: still doing and I'm happy about it, and I appreciate 96 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 3: life so much, you know, especially over the last couple 97 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 3: of years having some really dear friends passing, It's like 98 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 3: you start to really recognize what's important in life. And 99 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 3: I've and that's how I live. 100 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 2: My kids are everything. 101 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:46,240 Speaker 3: My family's everything, right, Like going and being a baseball 102 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 3: dad is some of the greatest joys that I have 103 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 3: in my life now, watching my kids do things. That's 104 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 3: so I live in a space of like true appreciation. 105 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 3: So I'm joyous because I'm just happy of all the 106 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,799 Speaker 3: things I could have never written this story. 107 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 1: I mean, first of all, I'm kind of admiring everything 108 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 1: you're saying because the admission of I get angry. I 109 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 1: have my house me and then I step out and 110 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 1: there's something about the light, something about all of that 111 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 1: coming at you. And you said something else that struck me. 112 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: You said, you know, you've lost a couple of friends. 113 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 1: I find it so interesting and same with me, like 114 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,680 Speaker 1: the world suddenly snaps into focus when you have a 115 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:35,719 Speaker 1: loss your life spam. Okay, this is priority, This life 116 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: is short. 117 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 3: How did it affect you? 118 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,039 Speaker 1: Like? What did it do well? 119 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 3: It has affected me deeply, especially James Vanderbeek. 120 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 2: Pass it your priorities right. One of the things. 121 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:55,040 Speaker 3: I actually had this conversation with my team this morning 122 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 3: as I'm, you know, getting ready for the day time 123 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:06,279 Speaker 3: right when you're you're on your deathbed, the one question one, 124 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,479 Speaker 3: the one thing you would. 125 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,920 Speaker 2: Ask for is more time. 126 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:14,720 Speaker 3: And so then I look at the world backwards, so 127 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 3: I start at what is it going to be? What's 128 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,400 Speaker 3: my life going to be like at the end? And 129 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,680 Speaker 3: when I get there, what would I want? What would 130 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 3: I ask for? And I would say, I'd ask for time? 131 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 3: So then what am I doing with it? That's how 132 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 3: am I using it? How am I affecting the people 133 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 3: around me with my time? Because it's the only thing 134 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 3: you're really going to ask for at the end is 135 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 3: more of it, So why waste it? 136 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: That's so interesting when you're saying this is landing with 137 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 1: me too. When I was leaving the today S not 138 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 1: too long ago, I was thinking about like my time pie. 139 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 1: I was like, everyone gets one pie? How are you 140 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,520 Speaker 1: going to carve it up? Absolutely, you're gonna put like 141 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 1: what goes where, what gets priority, and what deserves more so, 142 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: what changed? What did you What did you alter? 143 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 2: Well? 144 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 3: Family friends, yes, loved ones in all aspects, like my parents, 145 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:18,120 Speaker 3: time with them, you know, focused time right, one on 146 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 3: one time. That was the That's the biggest change, right, 147 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 3: telling the people that you. 148 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 2: Care about how you feel. 149 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 3: It's good, so you don't ever if it ends tomorrow 150 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:36,200 Speaker 3: for either one of us. No one goes away thinking 151 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:40,559 Speaker 3: about what they could have had. When I was going 152 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:45,560 Speaker 3: to see James while he was in his deathbed, literally 153 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 3: you know, we we had conversations and it was I 154 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 3: said to my wife afterwards, that's what. 155 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 2: I want when I go. 156 00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 3: I want to be surrounded by people that love you, 157 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 3: that are there for you, that want what's best for you, 158 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 3: and everyone around you. 159 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 2: That's what I want when. 160 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 3: I wow and so from that day you can walk 161 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 3: around in life going, let's make sure that's available. 162 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:16,319 Speaker 2: Let's make sure that happy that can happen, right, and so. 163 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 3: Live every day making sure that's a possibility. 164 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: Wow, I love that. I love that was beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Okay, 165 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 1: so now you're making sense to me. I understand you. 166 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,679 Speaker 1: Now I got your whole vibe. I want to take 167 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: it back, though, because when I think about you, someone 168 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,840 Speaker 1: had to like pour into you. So who was the 169 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: optimist when you were a little boy growing up? Was 170 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 1: it your mom? Was it your dad? Who was the 171 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 1: glass half full? Life is beautiful? 172 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,320 Speaker 2: You know they they were all both. 173 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 3: It wasn't an individual thing, right. 174 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 2: My dad was my manager. 175 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,720 Speaker 3: My dad was my best friend when I was starting 176 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,320 Speaker 3: in the business. And and you know, my dad would 177 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 3: put me on it in the front part of the 178 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:05,480 Speaker 3: motorcycle and I would I would. I would ride to 179 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 3: auditions with him, right, and we'd sit at a coffee 180 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:14,080 Speaker 3: shop between auditions, and it was always perspective, right, we're 181 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 3: lucky to be doing this, We're lucky that we have 182 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 3: this time. And of course when you're a kid, you 183 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:19,680 Speaker 3: don't really get it. 184 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 2: Now, you don't mean anything until much later. 185 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:27,200 Speaker 3: Right, But my dad always gave me, you know, logic, right, 186 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:32,199 Speaker 3: what's important, you know priorities. My mom was kind of 187 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:38,320 Speaker 3: the same way, but then the love came kind of behind. 188 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 3: It was never forward love interesting, it was never you know, 189 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 3: we didn't say I love you a lot. That wasn't 190 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 3: our relationship, right my parents. But I understood that there 191 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 3: was love. 192 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 1: How did you know, like as a kid, you need just. 193 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,840 Speaker 2: In your heart, right, James. 194 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 3: I go back to James a lot because we have 195 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,040 Speaker 3: such We had so many great credible conversations. 196 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 2: He used to say to me, your. 197 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 3: Brain takes credit for all the things your heart does 198 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,200 Speaker 3: because you live your life with your heart. 199 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,959 Speaker 2: It's like, but your brain takes credit. 200 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 3: And when he said that to me, it became so 201 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 3: true because I live my life with my heart. This 202 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 3: tells me everything I need to know. Get this out 203 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,360 Speaker 3: of the way and listen as we'll tell you. Right, 204 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:30,200 Speaker 3: your brain has ego, your brain has you know, history 205 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 3: and damage and you know you know all of that, but. 206 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,679 Speaker 2: Your heart does it. It just leads you. 207 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 3: And I just knew it. I always knew that I 208 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 3: was loved. I knew that I had love. I knew 209 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 3: that my parents, the things that they gave up in 210 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:49,480 Speaker 3: their lives for me to have my life is love. 211 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 2: There's nothing more than love. 212 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 1: No, it's so fun. I just interviewed this woman about 213 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: this topic, and she said, so many people say, oh, 214 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,199 Speaker 1: my parents never said they love me, and so oh 215 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 1: my god, I'm seeking it my whole life. And she 216 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:04,440 Speaker 1: said saying it is not necessarily the only way to 217 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: show love, like when they picked you up, when they 218 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,480 Speaker 1: brought you X, Y and Z. And I think sometimes 219 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: we all forget. It's like, but I never got the words. 220 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 1: It's like sometimes show don't tell like they have their 221 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,719 Speaker 1: own language. 222 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 2: Words or words. 223 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:23,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, it doesn't mean anything unless the substance is behind it. 224 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 1: Yes, right, show me. 225 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 3: You can tell me you love me all the time. 226 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,920 Speaker 3: A lot of people who tell me they love me. Yeah, 227 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,200 Speaker 3: I walk down the street, we love you? Do you 228 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:33,839 Speaker 3: probably love me? 229 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: Right? 230 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 2: Do we really understand love? If we're saying that, you know. 231 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,679 Speaker 3: I get it, we really like you. I take that 232 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 3: that can be real. But no, you don't love me. 233 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 3: You love an idea of me. You don't love me right. 234 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 3: But but my family loves me right, and. 235 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,839 Speaker 2: I know that deep down. 236 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,600 Speaker 3: And they don't ever have to say it now because 237 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,960 Speaker 3: I didn't hear it all the time. 238 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 2: I say it all the time. 239 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,439 Speaker 1: I understand, but I could. 240 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,240 Speaker 3: Say it or not say it, And I don't think 241 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 3: that would change how my kids feel about how I 242 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:09,719 Speaker 3: feel about that. 243 00:13:10,280 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 2: Right. 244 00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,319 Speaker 1: Who was the first person who told you you were 245 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,280 Speaker 1: talented and you believed it? 246 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 2: My grandmother, my grandmother on my dad's side. 247 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,560 Speaker 3: Her name was Mumsy, as we called her, and she 248 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:33,720 Speaker 3: was a Riker's Island police officer, hard as can be, right, 249 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 3: wealthy in a time when we didn't have wealth, you 250 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 3: know for people like that. And she had a daughter 251 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 3: who was on a show called Laughing, so my aunt 252 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:56,880 Speaker 3: was on Laughing. My grandfather was a Calypso singer, so 253 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,000 Speaker 3: she knew what talent looked like. 254 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 2: And she would. 255 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:08,320 Speaker 3: Say you have it, you have that thing and I 256 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,120 Speaker 3: and she would always be I'm so proud, and I 257 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 3: just you know, all the all the all the rest 258 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 3: of it. 259 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,599 Speaker 2: But I was like, I believed it. Wow, I believed that. 260 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 2: I was probably four or five. 261 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: And what did she see? Like dancing? 262 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,920 Speaker 3: So I would just I would sing, I'll be singing 263 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 3: all the time. 264 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, just anything. 265 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 2: Just yes. 266 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 3: My mom was the singer really in the house. But 267 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 3: like I, I would sing all the time, I'd be 268 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,360 Speaker 3: moving all the time. I don't know what we call 269 00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,560 Speaker 3: it dancing now, I would say just moving, It wasn't 270 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 3: really dancing. I would I would voices and characters and like, 271 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,240 Speaker 3: I was all of that. 272 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:45,080 Speaker 2: In my in my youth. 273 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 3: So like and so I would say, she was the 274 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 3: first person that I believed it. 275 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 2: And then my dad was the one. 276 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 1: That cultivated it, okay, because he had the structure, that discipline, 277 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 1: the you know, you gotta have work ethic, all that 278 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 1: kind of stuff. This is how we're going to get 279 00:14:57,720 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 1: there what we're doing? All right? So tap Dance Kid 280 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,480 Speaker 1: you on Broadway? Yeah, I mean a kid? What were you? 281 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,240 Speaker 1: Twelve thirteen? 282 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 3: I was eleven eleven. I got the role and I 283 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 3: didn't tap dance, so I didn't I wasn't a tap dancer. 284 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 3: I'd never tap dance in my life. And they hired 285 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,760 Speaker 3: me to be the tap dance kid, and they taught 286 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 3: me to tap dance for a year. 287 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: Okay, that's insane. 288 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 3: And then we opened on Broadway. I was twelve in 289 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:24,560 Speaker 3: nineteen eighty three. 290 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 1: What's the day in the life of a twelve year 291 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 1: old on Broadway. Just give me one single day of. 292 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 2: Well like I would. 293 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 3: I would say I had the hardest schedule in show 294 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 3: business because I'll just give you a Tuesday. 295 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 1: Give it. 296 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 3: I wake up at seven, have breakfast, be at school 297 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 3: by eight, go to school till three, get home, do homework, study, 298 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:54,880 Speaker 3: have some food, maybe take a quick nap, relax for 299 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 3: a second, get picked up at six. 300 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:57,680 Speaker 2: Right. 301 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:02,760 Speaker 3: Oh, sorry, that's Wednesday. I would go half day and 302 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 3: then I would leave it at eleven thirty, get to 303 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 3: the theater by twelve, on stage at one to do 304 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:16,120 Speaker 3: a matinee, then time to eat, show at eight, off 305 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 3: at eleven, home by midnight, asleep by one, up again 306 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 3: the next day, and the and the and the. 307 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 2: Kicker is Sundays. 308 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 3: They would be off after the matinee and have Monday off. 309 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,040 Speaker 2: But I still went to school on Monday. 310 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 1: I cannot believe you did that as a kid. 311 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 2: So my schedule never stop. 312 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 1: How did you? I mean now for kids, we we 313 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,240 Speaker 1: you know, it's like we're always worried. Like is that? 314 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,640 Speaker 1: Are you too tired? You didn't get your twelve hours sleep? 315 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: I mean I'm sick a lot, were you? 316 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,120 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I'm sick a lot. It was. 317 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 3: It was a They ended up taking me out of 318 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:54,360 Speaker 3: the matinees and letting understudy do the manas about halfway 319 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 3: through my run because I was constantly sick. 320 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 1: Did you enjoy Were you loving it? Or were you 321 00:16:59,000 --> 00:16:59,880 Speaker 1: was it just a grind? 322 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:04,880 Speaker 3: I loved moments. Yes, I enjoyed most of it. 323 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:05,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. 324 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,560 Speaker 3: I recognize how hard it was. So when I went 325 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,680 Speaker 3: to television, I thought television was a joke. 326 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:12,600 Speaker 1: Oh, because it was like lazy people. 327 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:19,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, We're going to spend five days working on this. 328 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 3: This is how it's really hard. 329 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,680 Speaker 2: Get it, go out, undone it. 330 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:28,520 Speaker 1: It's I mean, all these opportunities kept coming to you though, 331 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 1: I mean you were obviously Again I think it's your discipline, 332 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:36,600 Speaker 1: your I mean you worked for everything but Silverspoon fresh Prints. 333 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,680 Speaker 1: Did you just keep getting things? Or in between where 334 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 1: their rejections that didn't get other were okay, I didn't 335 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 1: read about those. 336 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 2: What do you got? 337 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:45,840 Speaker 1: What happened? 338 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,520 Speaker 2: I mean a ton of them? 339 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:53,920 Speaker 3: Right, Like the life of an actor is your job 340 00:17:54,000 --> 00:18:00,919 Speaker 3: is to audition. Your bonus is getting the job. So 341 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:07,200 Speaker 3: you audition for one hundred things, you get one, you 342 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:11,680 Speaker 3: are successful, like you are killing it. If you get 343 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 3: one out of one hundred. Right, that's ninety nine rejections. 344 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,640 Speaker 3: Ninety nine times someone said yeah. 345 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,680 Speaker 2: Not good enough, which is just a life. Right. 346 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,879 Speaker 3: So you get used to people telling you that we 347 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 3: don't like you. Wow, right, Like that's someone says they 348 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,160 Speaker 3: don't like me, I go get in line, I. 349 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,640 Speaker 2: Mean, what do you mean? Why does that affect me? Right? 350 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,400 Speaker 3: And especially now in this age of social media where 351 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,120 Speaker 3: people tell you they don't like you all the time 352 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 3: and you read it. And I've always said, I actually 353 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,159 Speaker 3: had this conversation with one of my Dance Withood Stars 354 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:50,640 Speaker 3: friends last night. I'm like, why would you give the 355 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 3: devil and open communication with your heart? Why would you 356 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:02,359 Speaker 3: let them have communication with your heart? 357 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:07,080 Speaker 2: Don't read it, don't care? Right, So rejection for me 358 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 2: is so it doesn't mean anything. That's not important to me. 359 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:15,080 Speaker 2: What you think of me is important to me. What 360 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,119 Speaker 2: does my kids think? What am my wife? What does 361 00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:18,560 Speaker 2: my wife think? What do my parents think? What do 362 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 2: my friends think? That's important? 363 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:23,200 Speaker 3: I literally said, if I said these things to you, 364 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,560 Speaker 3: it should mean something because I'm your friend. I don't 365 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,400 Speaker 3: care about your success or I care about you when 366 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:31,480 Speaker 3: I say, hey, how are you doing? 367 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,199 Speaker 2: I'm not just saying those words, I mean it. 368 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,440 Speaker 1: How are you when you talked about the ninety nine 369 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:40,760 Speaker 1: rejections and getting one, why didn't after multiple rejections, why 370 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 1: didn't you just say, you know what, some things aren't 371 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 1: meant to. 372 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 3: Be, because that's that's just what it is, right, that's 373 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 3: even as a kid, Yeah, you go for them and 374 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:56,760 Speaker 3: and and For me, the audition was the fun process. 375 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:57,720 Speaker 1: That's good. 376 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 2: That was like you know, I mean, in the day, 377 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:02,760 Speaker 2: let's keep it real. It meant I left school early. 378 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,320 Speaker 3: I got out of school early to go on a 379 00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:08,719 Speaker 3: motorcycle ride with my dad into the city to go 380 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,439 Speaker 3: perform for a bunch of people in a room and 381 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,439 Speaker 3: then maybe sit at a little coffee shop and have 382 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,040 Speaker 3: some food, maybe some ice cream. 383 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,200 Speaker 2: I even drank coffee back. Yeah it's crazy. I don't 384 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 2: drink it now much. 385 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:24,399 Speaker 3: But but that was fun. The process was fun, So 386 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:27,560 Speaker 3: I didn't look at getting the job as the end all. 387 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 2: It was more of the process. 388 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,640 Speaker 1: Carlton in Fresh Prints was a role that I don't 389 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,960 Speaker 1: think anyone imagined being as big as it was. No 390 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 1: one could, I mean, did it become as big as 391 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:42,720 Speaker 1: it was because of something you designed? How did that 392 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,400 Speaker 1: role turn into something that became part of the culture. 393 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 3: I think, so, going deep for a second, which I 394 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:59,760 Speaker 3: never do, Carlton was a character that black people could 395 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 3: like laugh at white people, but not laugh at a 396 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:09,680 Speaker 3: white person. It was a character that white people could 397 00:21:09,720 --> 00:21:12,960 Speaker 3: laugh at themselves without seeing themselves laughed at. 398 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 2: So it allowed. 399 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 3: People to be comfortable with the corny white guy without 400 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,840 Speaker 3: anyone feeling insulted and laughing at it and. 401 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,679 Speaker 2: Feeling like, oh, I know that guy. I laugh at 402 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,200 Speaker 2: that guy. That kid's in my school. 403 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,960 Speaker 3: Yeah he's smart, but he's not cool, right, Or you're 404 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,560 Speaker 3: laughing at something that exists in society but no one 405 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:38,240 Speaker 3: gets offended. 406 00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 1: Isn't that funny that you don't really go that deep 407 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 1: to think about it. You just think, I know that guy, 408 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,560 Speaker 1: I get his vibes. 409 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 3: But there's only positive So there's no negative reaction to 410 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:55,920 Speaker 3: your laughing at him, laughing with him, you know all 411 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 3: of that. 412 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 2: There's no negative to it. 413 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:02,160 Speaker 3: So he created a space in television where we could 414 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:06,200 Speaker 3: laugh at ourselves in society but also laugh at that character. 415 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 3: And they wrote him very funny obviously, But that, to 416 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 3: me is what I believe was the reason that character 417 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 3: for decades has such impact. 418 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, no one forgets that was that one 419 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,399 Speaker 1: of your most joyful chapters? Do you think Fresh Prince. 420 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 3: I'm living my most joyful chapter boom. So it was 421 00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:35,439 Speaker 3: a great time. I loved every minute of it. You know, 422 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 3: they were family, right, everybody on Fresh Prince. That's that's family. 423 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,480 Speaker 2: But I'm living it now, and I'm living it because 424 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:43,879 Speaker 2: there is. 425 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:50,120 Speaker 3: There's both sides, right, It's I'm the most successful I've 426 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:54,640 Speaker 3: ever been career wise, and I'm the happiest I've ever 427 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,840 Speaker 3: been in life. So I'm living it right now. But 428 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 3: those Fresh Prince days were incredible, going to set every day, 429 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:06,360 Speaker 3: being with with Will and James and Karen and Tatiana 430 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:12,680 Speaker 3: and Janet and and Daphanie and Joe, and those times 431 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 3: were just incredible, right. What we were building, what we 432 00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:20,080 Speaker 3: were doing, the way we worked together, the way we 433 00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:24,800 Speaker 3: supported one another was very special. And it's part of 434 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 3: why I don't really act anymore because that'll never be 435 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 3: achieved again. That kind of joy, that kind of love, 436 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:33,480 Speaker 3: that kind of. 437 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 2: Support, that kind of creative. 438 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:41,600 Speaker 3: Magic that it's just it's so hard for that to happen. 439 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,480 Speaker 3: It would feel like everything else becomes a letdown. So 440 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,720 Speaker 3: now I get to just be me and it's not 441 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:49,840 Speaker 3: a letdown because I could be me. 442 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,200 Speaker 1: So if someone knocked on the door and said, Alfonso, 443 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 1: I got a role for you, you got to read. 444 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 2: For it, well, would you? I wouldn't. 445 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: You wouldn't be Oh, you wouldn't read. 446 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,680 Speaker 3: We're not we're not, We're not asking for the job 447 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 3: I got. I got, I got three of them. 448 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:11,960 Speaker 2: But I would. 449 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:19,960 Speaker 3: If something, if the itch started itching, I would absolutely 450 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:22,239 Speaker 3: I would look at it. 451 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:28,000 Speaker 2: The desire is not there, the need isn't there. 452 00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,240 Speaker 3: Because I'm I'm doing everything I love to do and 453 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:37,280 Speaker 3: and the difference is is that I'm doing shows that 454 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 3: allow me to still have balance in my life with 455 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:44,000 Speaker 3: my family. Right We've talked about like, if a job 456 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 3: came up here in New York, would you do it? 457 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,600 Speaker 3: And the answer was no, like that, just flat out no, 458 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 3: I wouldn't do unless it was very short. I wouldn't 459 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 3: do a New York gig because I don't want to 460 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:53,880 Speaker 3: raise my kids here. 461 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:55,240 Speaker 2: Right. 462 00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 3: So, now, when my kids are old enough and they 463 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 3: move on and they're doing their lives, you know, independent 464 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,520 Speaker 3: of mine, anything's possible. Right cause my wife and I 465 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:05,960 Speaker 3: moved to New York for a little bit to do something, 466 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,359 Speaker 3: of course, but like the idea of you know, me 467 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 3: getting in the car telling the boys, hey, you got 468 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,199 Speaker 3: to be ready by three twenty we got baseball practice. 469 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,440 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, right, getting out of my work clothes or 470 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,879 Speaker 3: whatever clothes, you know, and then hopping on and is 471 00:25:21,119 --> 00:25:23,639 Speaker 3: taking the kids and spending time and talking about the 472 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 3: game and life and how their day was, and getting 473 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,479 Speaker 3: there and watching them perform, and you know, watching my daughter. 474 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,240 Speaker 3: She just won state in gymnastics in California. 475 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,199 Speaker 2: She's an incredible. 476 00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,400 Speaker 3: That wouldn't really exist here in New York City. 477 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 1: Are you you talked about your dad? Are you what 478 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 1: things from parenting did you take from your dad? And 479 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 1: what things did you leave behind? And say I'm not 480 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 1: doing that? 481 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:54,639 Speaker 3: Well, I would, you know. I'm definitely more. I share 482 00:25:54,760 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 3: more of my emotion with my kids. They see all sides, right, 483 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:04,920 Speaker 3: They see crazy dad, they see happy dad, they see 484 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:06,600 Speaker 3: loving dad, they see all of it. 485 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 2: I saw it all, but it was less. But really. 486 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:14,960 Speaker 3: What I took from what my dad did was my 487 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:22,520 Speaker 3: dad gave me his time, gave me his presence, and 488 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:26,960 Speaker 3: he was there and he was listening and he was involved. 489 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 3: And that to me was the gift that I get 490 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 3: to give back to my children is being there, listening, 491 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:41,320 Speaker 3: being truly part of their lives because you don't get 492 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,040 Speaker 3: the time back. You know, I've got an older daughter 493 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:47,199 Speaker 3: from a first marriage, and I wasn't there, right, I 494 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,120 Speaker 3: didn't give her the time. 495 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:49,640 Speaker 2: I wasn't I wasn't. 496 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:55,560 Speaker 3: Really part of her upbringing in the way that I 497 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 3: would have wanted to. And because of that, I'm like, 498 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:03,040 Speaker 3: I am not making that mistake again. And so what 499 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 3: I've learned ultimately was be there. 500 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:10,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, let's talk about repotting because you have, you know, 501 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:13,880 Speaker 1: this great career in acting. Obviously everyone's you know, knows 502 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,200 Speaker 1: your name. The car by the way, do people still 503 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,640 Speaker 1: ask you to do stance? How many times a day 504 00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:19,560 Speaker 1: do you get asked to do the. 505 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 2: Car outside in public? It's going to happen at least 506 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 2: one hundred times. 507 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 1: Do you ever do it? 508 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:24,840 Speaker 3: Or not? 509 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,680 Speaker 2: A chance? Not a chance, no chance. 510 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:33,000 Speaker 3: I was like, it's so much better on YouTube, but does. 511 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,399 Speaker 1: It bother you to be so directly connected to that 512 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:38,560 Speaker 1: singular moment? 513 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:46,199 Speaker 3: There was a time when I absolutely hated it. You know, 514 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:52,200 Speaker 3: time age wisdom gives you perspective. Now what I'm able 515 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:59,800 Speaker 3: to understand, is they're asking me to continue to bring 516 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 3: the joy with something that I have already created. It's 517 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 3: not an insult, it's not They're letting you know that 518 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 3: at the end of the day you bring me joy. 519 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:14,680 Speaker 2: That brought me joy. 520 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 3: And when I see you, I can only think of 521 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 3: the joy you brought me and I would love to 522 00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:19,880 Speaker 3: have more. 523 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 2: Wow. 524 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,719 Speaker 1: So I I have the pros beautiful now, the way 525 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,439 Speaker 1: that's beautiful. I love that. I love that. So the 526 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,119 Speaker 1: repotting piece, which is hard for people to redirect a 527 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 1: career anybody, because when you repot, you like pull yourself 528 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,879 Speaker 1: up by the roots. You're dangling in the air. Oh 529 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 1: where am I going to go? Right? And then you 530 00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 1: fortunately got planted in like nutrient rich soil, like you 531 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:49,760 Speaker 1: just came alive. Did you imagine that this next chapter 532 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 1: which has involved all of this, all these cool tvy gigs, 533 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,600 Speaker 1: was to come to pass? And did it surprise you 534 00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:59,280 Speaker 1: as it was all kind of unfolding? 535 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,920 Speaker 3: Never would have expected it, right, I never would have 536 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:05,320 Speaker 3: expected me not acting right like That's that's what I was. 537 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 2: I was an actor. That's all I knew myself is that. 538 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:14,920 Speaker 3: And my manager, Conrad Leay. He just was like, there's 539 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:20,320 Speaker 3: there's other spaces for you. You are uniquely qualified for 540 00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:23,960 Speaker 3: other things that we don't have to just worry about 541 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:28,160 Speaker 3: whether you're getting another role, right. And for a while 542 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,320 Speaker 3: it was directing, right, like, I've directed over one hundred 543 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:33,160 Speaker 3: and twenty five episodes of television. 544 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:35,400 Speaker 2: Oh really, people don't really. 545 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,400 Speaker 1: Know that, yeah, which, like give me, give me a little. 546 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 2: It was in the house. That was all of us. 547 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:41,600 Speaker 2: I was. 548 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 3: I did an episode of Fresh Prints, I did a 549 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:46,600 Speaker 3: bunch of Tyler Perry stuff. 550 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 2: I did are we there yet? Wow? A bunch of 551 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,280 Speaker 2: episodes for that. So all over the place, right, A. 552 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:56,040 Speaker 3: Bunch of Disney shows upn you know, WB, a bunch 553 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 3: of the and so I did, I did all, you know, 554 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,040 Speaker 3: all I got to work with Zendea when she it 555 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,920 Speaker 3: was just how fun, I know, and she was incredible 556 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,880 Speaker 3: and so I had a beautiful career doing that. I 557 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:08,760 Speaker 3: never would have thought of that, but my manager was like, 558 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:10,920 Speaker 3: try that. This is what I think you'd be great at. 559 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,280 Speaker 3: And I'd gone to film school. Yeah, but I still 560 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 3: was like, you know, I mean, who's gonna hire me 561 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:16,160 Speaker 3: as really? 562 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:16,920 Speaker 2: You know? 563 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:21,360 Speaker 3: And that became a really incredible time for me while 564 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:28,200 Speaker 3: the rebranding or repotting could bear fruit right being me 565 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,760 Speaker 3: being not that guy, and then the opportunity to do 566 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:35,120 Speaker 3: Dancing with the Stars fell into my life. 567 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:36,160 Speaker 1: Did you always want to do that? 568 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,240 Speaker 2: Absolutely? From day one? Really from season one. It took 569 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:40,160 Speaker 2: till season nineteen. 570 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,520 Speaker 1: Holy moly, So what you were you knocking on their 571 00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 1: door all the time? 572 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 3: Dina Katz and I became friends before I was on 573 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:52,600 Speaker 3: the show. Hey, Dina, how's it looking. 574 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 2: It's not looking good? Not looking good. 575 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,200 Speaker 3: There was there was a person at the network that 576 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 3: did not want me on the show. And when that 577 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 3: person was no longer at the network, you got the 578 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,240 Speaker 3: opportunity for me to do the show was that season 579 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 3: right after that person was moved on, And that changed 580 00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 3: my life because after I won the season, I sat 581 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,760 Speaker 3: in the office of Rob Mills, who runs unscripted for ABC, 582 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 3: and he was like, all right, what do you want 583 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 3: to do? And there was a picture of Tomberr's run 584 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 3: on the wall and I was like that and he's like, 585 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:30,959 Speaker 3: you mean you don't want to do like another sitcom? 586 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:31,920 Speaker 2: I was like, no, No. 587 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 3: I spent my whole life trying to get away from 588 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 3: a character where people could see me as me. I 589 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:44,440 Speaker 3: did three and a half months on this show showing 590 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 3: people the real me, and they approved, why are we 591 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:53,600 Speaker 3: going back to being someone else again, Let's just keep 592 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:54,000 Speaker 3: being me. 593 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:55,400 Speaker 2: This is working. 594 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,240 Speaker 3: And then Afe and Now Dancing went to Stars as host. 595 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 1: So America's Onnest Videos to have Tom Burger on, by 596 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:06,120 Speaker 1: the way, choose you yes, to have a mentor like him? 597 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:09,200 Speaker 1: I mean, what did that mean and what was the relationship? 598 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:14,280 Speaker 3: Like, well, he you know, obviously I did dancing and 599 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,160 Speaker 3: he turned to me maybe the quarter finals or something 600 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,320 Speaker 3: like that, and he goes, you know, I'm leaving America 601 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,440 Speaker 3: is finding some videos and I've made the decision to 602 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:28,680 Speaker 3: no longer do this, and I think you're the. 603 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 2: Guy to replace me. 604 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:36,000 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god, what are you 605 00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:36,720 Speaker 3: talking about? 606 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:37,440 Speaker 2: Like, oh my god. 607 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,640 Speaker 3: And he's like, I'm going to talk to the producers 608 00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 3: and the network and really let them know that I 609 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 3: think you would be incredible. 610 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,880 Speaker 2: And I was like thank you. Wow. 611 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 3: And so when the opportunity came and I met with them, 612 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 3: and I had the meeting with Rob Mills and met 613 00:32:56,120 --> 00:32:58,680 Speaker 3: with Vin de Bona and did a screen test and 614 00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:00,440 Speaker 3: the whole bit, and I was. 615 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:03,440 Speaker 2: Like, well, what should I do? Like? How like how 616 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:04,320 Speaker 2: should I approach this? 617 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,720 Speaker 3: He said, I've already you already know what to do. 618 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,000 Speaker 1: Just be you, OK? Just do you? 619 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:16,120 Speaker 3: Right? And so that kind of validation for me allowed 620 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 3: me to walk onto that stage with a confidence that 621 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,880 Speaker 3: you know, we always walk in with a little bit 622 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:23,880 Speaker 3: of like, am I am? 623 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:25,600 Speaker 2: I right? Isn't gonna be good? Like? What do I 624 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,680 Speaker 2: need to do? Like you overthink it? Right? And I 625 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:30,360 Speaker 2: was able to walk in and go, I'm just gonna 626 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 2: do it. Maybe that's enough. I don't know what, I'm 627 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 2: just going to do it. 628 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 3: Tom already told me that's all I need to do, right. 629 00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,160 Speaker 2: And then when I got. 630 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:44,200 Speaker 3: The show, I went to the writers and I said, look, 631 00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 3: the audience already loves this show, right, I. 632 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:54,080 Speaker 2: Don't think we should do anything different. 633 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 3: I want you to write the episode no different than 634 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,200 Speaker 3: you would write it for Tom. But it will be 635 00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 3: different because I'm doing it because I'm not Tom. 636 00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:06,600 Speaker 2: I can't Tom. Does I do what I do? 637 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 3: There might be similarities, but it'll be different. Yeah, But 638 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:11,520 Speaker 3: we don't have to write it differently because. 639 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 2: The audience, if it feels different to them, they're gonna 640 00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:14,920 Speaker 2: be like I don't know. 641 00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been watching us too long to have something 642 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:21,200 Speaker 3: new come into our house, right, And they don't know 643 00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:24,040 Speaker 3: the backstory that Tom said he was leaving, and they 644 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,160 Speaker 3: don't know all that. They just know that Tom's not there. 645 00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:27,560 Speaker 3: This guy is now there? 646 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,719 Speaker 1: WHOA, what's going on here? 647 00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:31,080 Speaker 2: I wanted to feel the same. 648 00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:32,480 Speaker 1: God, that's so smart. 649 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,279 Speaker 3: And so they wrote every episode the same, and then 650 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,279 Speaker 3: as time went along, then they started to slightly write 651 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:40,600 Speaker 3: it different anymore from me, but yeah, but the transition 652 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:41,560 Speaker 3: had already been made. 653 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:45,960 Speaker 1: So this you said, this chapter, doing all these amazing things, 654 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:49,440 Speaker 1: hosting Dancing with the Stars, you're an upfront, so you're 655 00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,799 Speaker 1: like front and center everywhere. I mean, you had this 656 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:55,960 Speaker 1: crescendo with fresh prints and sometimes when you're at the 657 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 1: top of the wave, you're like, it's not going to 658 00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,759 Speaker 1: get better, right, But you're on a. 659 00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,480 Speaker 3: Differ and it got better high. 660 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,359 Speaker 1: That's pretty astonishing. How do you see it playing out? 661 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:07,839 Speaker 1: Or do you just are you the kind of guy 662 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:11,920 Speaker 1: who's like, let's keep on rolling, keep going, okay, I say. 663 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:18,120 Speaker 3: You know, I'm dory right, just keep swimming, just keep swimming. 664 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:19,239 Speaker 2: And that's and. 665 00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,160 Speaker 3: That's literally how I live each day. 666 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,439 Speaker 2: Of work. Just keep doing it, and where it ends. 667 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,560 Speaker 3: It ends when it and just just keep swimming. 668 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:28,160 Speaker 1: And that's beautiful. 669 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,959 Speaker 2: Just keep going well. I mean, you. 670 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 3: Can't know the future, you can't predict the future, and 671 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,880 Speaker 3: typically anytime you try to influence the future, you influence 672 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:38,680 Speaker 3: it the wrong way. 673 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:43,400 Speaker 2: Just let it happen. I believe that the story is 674 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,160 Speaker 2: already written. 675 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 3: Anything you do can maybe change it, but that doesn't 676 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:52,400 Speaker 3: mean change is good. 677 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:57,160 Speaker 2: It's already written. Let it happen. Let it happen. 678 00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 3: Just don't get in its way, right, don't don't do 679 00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:07,640 Speaker 3: something that that changes your destiny from the beautiful destination 680 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:12,680 Speaker 3: that I believe I'm destined to achieve by doing something. 681 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:13,600 Speaker 2: Just keep swimming. 682 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,400 Speaker 1: You know, it's so interesting. There's that you know, the 683 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,479 Speaker 1: the nursery rhyme. It's like row row row your boat. 684 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:20,799 Speaker 1: Like I spent a ton of my career, like I 685 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,279 Speaker 1: felt like I was swimming upstream. I was trying. I'm like, 686 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:25,440 Speaker 1: if I just work harder, it's going to get easier. 687 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,840 Speaker 1: And it wasn't getting easier. And all of a sudden, 688 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:30,640 Speaker 1: this was at dateline when I was in all those 689 00:36:30,760 --> 00:36:33,239 Speaker 1: kind of scary places. But I was listening to that, 690 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,040 Speaker 1: row row row your boat, and it's like row row, 691 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:41,680 Speaker 1: row your boat gently down the street, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. 692 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,279 Speaker 1: Life is but a dream. And sometimes when you're in flow, 693 00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:46,480 Speaker 1: I can tell you're totally in flow, like this is 694 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:49,719 Speaker 1: so good, right, But when you are, it feels like 695 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:53,040 Speaker 1: a rush. And when you're pushing and thinking, if I 696 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:55,840 Speaker 1: work harder, if I'm more optimistic, if I just try harder, 697 00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 1: like getting out of that and finding like your bliss, 698 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 1: it sounds it's like you hit it. 699 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:05,799 Speaker 3: Yes, I working hard. First of all, I don't think 700 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 3: I can work harder. 701 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:07,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, now you can't. 702 00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:11,719 Speaker 3: Right now, I can put more hours in, right, I 703 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:15,680 Speaker 3: can take hours away from my life and put it 704 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:19,759 Speaker 3: into work. But does that really make anything better? And 705 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:27,319 Speaker 3: in my life, success isn't defined by my work. Success 706 00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:31,240 Speaker 3: is defined by my heart. And if my heart is happy, 707 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,000 Speaker 3: then I'm successful, and if it's not, then I'm not. 708 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,480 Speaker 3: And that has nothing to do with what I'm achieving 709 00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:45,359 Speaker 3: in my career goals. It's life goals. We're put here 710 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:50,240 Speaker 3: to go through life, not to go through work. 711 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,080 Speaker 2: Work can be part of it, that's not all of it. 712 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:57,520 Speaker 3: So so I row row room my belt gently, down 713 00:37:58,160 --> 00:37:58,600 Speaker 3: the stream. 714 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,680 Speaker 2: The water's already going in that direction. Yeah, we're all 715 00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:02,200 Speaker 2: moving together. 716 00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:02,880 Speaker 1: We're all going. 717 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:04,640 Speaker 2: Now, can I speed it up a little bit? Sure, 718 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:07,600 Speaker 2: come on a little bit. 719 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:09,600 Speaker 3: I gotta catch a moment. Let's speed up a little bit, 720 00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:11,920 Speaker 3: Maurice car driver. I can't al myself right, so you know, 721 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,600 Speaker 3: but that doesn't mean we have to have to like 722 00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,000 Speaker 3: get into it and start paddling. 723 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,720 Speaker 2: And I'm gonna do this. Just be prepared. 724 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:21,680 Speaker 3: Right last season, before dancing started, I started taking dance 725 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,880 Speaker 3: lessons again right now. 726 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:25,960 Speaker 2: There was a joy that. 727 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:29,360 Speaker 3: I found taking the classes, but it was also like, 728 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:33,080 Speaker 3: let's you be prepared for the job, right. They asked 729 00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:35,160 Speaker 3: me to dance every once in a while now on 730 00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:39,719 Speaker 3: the show. So it's not like, hey, who you know, like, no, no, no, 731 00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:41,960 Speaker 3: I got to know how to do I gotta I 732 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,680 Speaker 3: gotta remember how to do this. Yeah, right, And so 733 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,600 Speaker 3: I I have, you know, be. 734 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,239 Speaker 2: Ready, be ready for the opportunity. Right. Will Smith used 735 00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:52,160 Speaker 2: to always say to me, don't get ready, be. 736 00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:54,200 Speaker 1: Ready, don't get ready, be ready? 737 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:54,400 Speaker 2: Right. 738 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:55,680 Speaker 1: Oh that's good. 739 00:38:55,880 --> 00:39:00,759 Speaker 3: And so I spend my life being ready and not 740 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:01,480 Speaker 3: getting ready. 741 00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,080 Speaker 2: So but but only. 742 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,839 Speaker 3: On the things that I enjoy. So if I don't 743 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,799 Speaker 3: enjoy it, what am I getting ready for? 744 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:10,560 Speaker 1: Yeah? I love it? 745 00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:11,920 Speaker 2: Right, Let's talk. 746 00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,600 Speaker 1: About love, because you know that's your that's that's your 747 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:18,280 Speaker 1: sweet spot. You found the girl, you got the family. 748 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:25,279 Speaker 1: What I mean, finding a life partner, finding the sole connection? Right, 749 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,480 Speaker 1: I mean, describe what she means in your world. 750 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:32,160 Speaker 2: I will start with the day that. 751 00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:38,720 Speaker 3: She let me know that I was the one. 752 00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:41,239 Speaker 2: So the movie Eat, Pray, Love. 753 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:46,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, the medicine man, she went and saw that person 754 00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:52,719 Speaker 3: for real, oh, in Asia, and he said to her 755 00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:58,640 Speaker 3: that you will find your soulmate when you meet the 756 00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:07,360 Speaker 3: person that has your same birthmark. So we start dating, 757 00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:12,799 Speaker 3: and deep into our dating life, she sees my birthmark 758 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:18,759 Speaker 3: and flips and I'm like, what did I do? 759 00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:20,480 Speaker 2: Right? I'm like what? 760 00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,160 Speaker 3: But she was uncomfortable saying what she's about to say. 761 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:24,680 Speaker 2: This is like. 762 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:29,080 Speaker 3: And then a month or so later, she was like 763 00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:33,120 Speaker 3: remember when, and yeah, she was like, this guy told 764 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:36,960 Speaker 3: me that my soulmate has my same birthmark. 765 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:38,440 Speaker 2: Look here. 766 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:43,839 Speaker 3: And it's identical, same spot, same shape. 767 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:44,799 Speaker 2: Same everything. 768 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:51,840 Speaker 3: That's so crazy And I thought that was crazy real 769 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:55,759 Speaker 3: when she said it. But then his life has continued 770 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:56,319 Speaker 3: to move on. 771 00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,359 Speaker 2: Wow, is that true? 772 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:06,840 Speaker 3: Right, Like, she is my other half and we compliment 773 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:13,719 Speaker 3: each other in life in the best ways possible. And 774 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:17,920 Speaker 3: you're never really ready for that when it comes to you, 775 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,719 Speaker 3: but the earlier you can appreciate it, the. 776 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:22,360 Speaker 2: Better it will be. 777 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,720 Speaker 3: And you know, she's the mother of three of my children, 778 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:34,840 Speaker 3: and like we are together and we spend our time together, 779 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:42,239 Speaker 3: and you know, she is my biggest fan, supporter, partner, 780 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:47,040 Speaker 3: everything that I could ever want in a partner she is. 781 00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,560 Speaker 3: She's an incredible mom, she takes care of the kids, 782 00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,160 Speaker 3: she's she's a superwoman. 783 00:41:53,239 --> 00:41:56,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, you it sounds like everything is firing. I 784 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,400 Speaker 1: get why this is your chapter. I get why this 785 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:02,440 Speaker 1: is your moment. Let's close with you. Know, Look, there 786 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,719 Speaker 1: are people who are seeking joy. There are people who 787 00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:06,880 Speaker 1: are trying to They feel like it's elusive. And I 788 00:42:06,880 --> 00:42:08,480 Speaker 1: do think it's a choice. I don't think you just 789 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,000 Speaker 1: get it or don't have it. Yes, But for someone 790 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,680 Speaker 1: who's lived all these chapters, if you were going to 791 00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:16,160 Speaker 1: help someone who's kind of saying like I feel like 792 00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:19,040 Speaker 1: joy's out of reach, what would what would be any 793 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:24,440 Speaker 1: advice anything that might help someone who's seeking. 794 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:28,520 Speaker 3: I'd start with the word that jumped into my head. 795 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:34,320 Speaker 3: There's two words that jumped in my head. Obviously empathy. 796 00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:34,600 Speaker 2: Right. 797 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:43,880 Speaker 3: When you create empathy for the world, you have the 798 00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:49,520 Speaker 3: ability to feel what others are going through. 799 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,759 Speaker 2: Right, And. 800 00:42:55,239 --> 00:42:59,680 Speaker 3: When you have that, I believe it puts things in perspective. 801 00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:02,840 Speaker 3: There is no such thing as perfect. 802 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:05,759 Speaker 2: It doesn't exist. Right. 803 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:11,080 Speaker 3: We love our Disney movies, those are fairy tales. In 804 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:14,239 Speaker 3: real life, there's good and there's bad, right. 805 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:15,840 Speaker 2: I believe in. 806 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:22,920 Speaker 3: Life the ying and the yang right, for all good 807 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,680 Speaker 3: that comes bad has. 808 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:30,399 Speaker 2: To equal it. How do you see it? 809 00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:38,120 Speaker 3: How do you choose to see the bad? I've seen 810 00:43:38,160 --> 00:43:44,600 Speaker 3: many people say when something negative happens, it's an opportunity. 811 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:47,560 Speaker 2: You're not a victim of it. 812 00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:51,719 Speaker 3: It's an opportunity, the opportunity to learn, opportunity to grow. 813 00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:52,319 Speaker 2: Right. 814 00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:56,319 Speaker 3: You don't grow in success, you grow in failure. So 815 00:43:56,880 --> 00:44:00,920 Speaker 3: if you can view failure and things that are not 816 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:07,319 Speaker 3: perfect as an opportunity, when the good happens, you will 817 00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:10,960 Speaker 3: see it in a joyful way and not see it 818 00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,880 Speaker 3: negatively because you're living in that negative. 819 00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:16,680 Speaker 2: That makes energy. 820 00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,759 Speaker 1: I was just picturing you with James, what could have 821 00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:23,160 Speaker 1: been like the most depressing and horrible and it was 822 00:44:23,239 --> 00:44:27,280 Speaker 1: terribly sad. However, how you came out with all these 823 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:31,160 Speaker 1: jewels and gems and ways to change your life. Yes, 824 00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:33,560 Speaker 1: I mean that's like personifying. 825 00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,319 Speaker 3: James and his wife, Kimberly and all the kids have 826 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:39,319 Speaker 3: impacted my life in a way that could never really 827 00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:46,440 Speaker 3: truly be understood by others. And that ability to have 828 00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:51,960 Speaker 3: joy and appreciation and the wisdom that man had wisdom. 829 00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:55,880 Speaker 3: He'll never be fully appreciated for the man that he is, 830 00:44:56,239 --> 00:44:57,680 Speaker 3: and the same for Kimberly. 831 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,160 Speaker 2: She still was. Of course she will have an opportunity to. 832 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,800 Speaker 3: Continue to share that kind of wisdom. 833 00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,360 Speaker 2: But it did. It gave me a perspective. 834 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I just want to say one thing. I 835 00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:10,880 Speaker 1: love how you live your life. 836 00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:11,359 Speaker 2: Thank you. 837 00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:13,879 Speaker 1: I love the way you view the world. And I'm 838 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,359 Speaker 1: so happier on this podcast Joy one on one man. 839 00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:20,640 Speaker 3: It's so you, I guess, thank you for hand picking me. 840 00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:23,439 Speaker 3: Of course, I'm so happy when I will say when, 841 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,960 Speaker 3: when when the when the the ask came across. 842 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:27,920 Speaker 2: I don't do. 843 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,439 Speaker 1: Podcasts, Yeah, you know, it's not your thing. 844 00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:36,760 Speaker 3: I just well, podcasts are clickbait that they're looking for. 845 00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,040 Speaker 2: That moment, and I was. 846 00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:44,360 Speaker 3: Like, this is one that I know is not about that. 847 00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:48,480 Speaker 3: It's about and Joy one on one is is everything. 848 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,160 Speaker 3: And I couldn't be more happy that you've asked me 849 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:52,400 Speaker 3: and that I got to be able to do this 850 00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:52,680 Speaker 3: with you. 851 00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:54,760 Speaker 2: It was That's a true honor. 852 00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:58,879 Speaker 1: Thank you. Love you, honey, love you. Okay. So as 853 00:45:58,880 --> 00:46:01,799 Speaker 1: we wrap up today, I'm a huge quote person. I 854 00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,400 Speaker 1: love a quote, I love a poem. They stick with me. 855 00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:09,560 Speaker 1: So Joanna Gaines helped me redo my office for our 856 00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,880 Speaker 1: company Joy one oh one, and I it was like 857 00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:15,239 Speaker 1: just a few weeks ago that I was walking through 858 00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:17,400 Speaker 1: the office and in one of the places, on a 859 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:20,640 Speaker 1: bulletin board was a poem that was left behind that 860 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,279 Speaker 1: Joanna and her team left behind for me and I 861 00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:27,000 Speaker 1: didn't see it. And this poem is so moving. I'm 862 00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:31,000 Speaker 1: just going to read it to you, okay. It says this, somewhere, 863 00:46:31,040 --> 00:46:33,959 Speaker 1: in some corner of the world sits a seed. Maybe 864 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,760 Speaker 1: it's tucked in the pocket of last season's chore coat, 865 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:40,480 Speaker 1: or disregarded in the bottom of an otherwise empty hardware 866 00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:43,440 Speaker 1: store packet, or dropped and left alone on the floor 867 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:46,759 Speaker 1: of the garden shed. Wherever it is, it sits there, 868 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:51,000 Speaker 1: containing within it almost all of the necessary pieces to grow, 869 00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,600 Speaker 1: to burst out of the ground into the beautiful plant 870 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,600 Speaker 1: it was meant to be. But it will need nurture, 871 00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:00,800 Speaker 1: to be planted in good soil, to be given water 872 00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:04,920 Speaker 1: and sunshine and shade, and then time to wait and 873 00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:09,120 Speaker 1: watch as what's always been becomes the fullness of what 874 00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:14,240 Speaker 1: it was made to be. And somewhere in some corner 875 00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:16,840 Speaker 1: of the world sits you. Maybe you're on a park 876 00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,600 Speaker 1: bench getting ready to make your next move, or at 877 00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:22,879 Speaker 1: your kitchen table after a hard conversation, or in front 878 00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:25,480 Speaker 1: of your computer with minutes and hours and days of 879 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,600 Speaker 1: work left to do. Wherever you are, you sit there, 880 00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:33,160 Speaker 1: containing within you almost all of the necessary pieces to grow, 881 00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:36,120 Speaker 1: to burst forth into the beautiful person you were made 882 00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:40,040 Speaker 1: to be. But you will need nurture, to be put 883 00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,960 Speaker 1: in a place that makes you come alive, to be 884 00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:46,400 Speaker 1: given space to sort it all out, tools to learn, 885 00:47:46,480 --> 00:47:50,000 Speaker 1: to grow and to be, and then time time to 886 00:47:50,080 --> 00:47:53,759 Speaker 1: wait and watch as what you've always been becomes the 887 00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:57,399 Speaker 1: fullness of who you were made to be. I don't 888 00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,200 Speaker 1: even know who said that poem, but it's a way 889 00:48:00,200 --> 00:48:03,080 Speaker 1: in again's special left behind, and I hope it means 890 00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,440 Speaker 1: something to you. It means a lot to me,