1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,520 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of ELK I mean this 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 1: signer guests pull stride in for KP for just a 3 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:11,000 Speaker 1: little bit longer, hanging there, everybody, Let's meet everybody today, 4 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: shall we? First up, it's Chris Alvarado. Chris, if you 5 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:18,119 Speaker 1: could have given yourself a nickname when you're younger, what 6 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,880 Speaker 1: is it? Then? Is? I know you're supposed to be 7 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: given them, but if you could choose it well, ones 8 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 1: that I had with Taz Crass and see Murder? Is 9 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 1: that for child murder? One that would give myself would 10 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: have been probably see Murder? So do you please please do? 11 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 1: But I'm gonna imagine it's s e a murder like 12 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 1: you kill nice. Next up, Jackie Gonzalez to Ruthie, Hello, Jackie. 13 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,280 Speaker 1: Is there like a word that is really tough for 14 00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: you to say or pronounced? I know that like I 15 00:01:02,920 --> 00:01:05,119 Speaker 1: for some reason, I get hung up on bagel because 16 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,199 Speaker 1: I said bagel as a kid growing up, so I 17 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:12,039 Speaker 1: held up on Is there anything like that for you? Um? 18 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,320 Speaker 1: I'm not sure if there's one word word that gets 19 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,960 Speaker 1: me every time, but I certainly struggle with words, at 20 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:23,760 Speaker 1: least one word on the daily, especially if I'm tired. Um, 21 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,000 Speaker 1: if I'm tired, it really takes me a long time 22 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: to to get U words out sometimes. And I used 23 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 1: to work at a deli super early in the morning, 24 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:35,040 Speaker 1: and I remember like sometimes, I mean, it would just 25 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 1: take me so long, and then they wouldn't tip me, 26 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,840 Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, well, clearly I'm having some issues, 27 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,240 Speaker 1: Like I can't believe you're not even tipping me. I'm 28 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: having a rough day. I can't even say bagel or 29 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: whatever it was that they were ordering. Yeah, I would 30 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 1: say different words every day, and per sand is a 31 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: weird one and I don't know that's how I say it? 32 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: Is that right? Yeah, then I'm fine with that one. 33 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 1: Who you nailed apers And like anyone that I'm good at, 34 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: there is next up. It's James he Need he need. 35 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 1: Did you ever hurt yourself bad when you're a kid, 36 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: And if so, what happened? I hurt myself a handful 37 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 1: of times. I cracked my head open when I was 38 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: probably I don't really remember. Maybe it was the last 39 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: day of Christmas vacation or holiday vacation. It was vacation 40 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: and we were doing like Winter Olympics in our house, 41 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,960 Speaker 1: so we had moved the couch to the middle and 42 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,799 Speaker 1: I would run and we do cartwheels over the couch. 43 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 1: But one of those times I hit like there was 44 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: like a table and just split my head open, and 45 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:44,800 Speaker 1: like everything seemed to get I didn't pass out, but 46 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: everything got really dark and we were trying to like 47 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: hide it, like like you know, we're probably we're probably 48 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,520 Speaker 1: not supposed to be doing cart wheels over this. I was. 49 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:56,359 Speaker 1: I was a latchkey kid. My parents both worked and 50 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: like we were left home to our own devices. But 51 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 1: I got stitches. Was fine, Well that's good at like, 52 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:11,640 Speaker 1: and there's been no damn. Oh, I don't think next 53 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,799 Speaker 1: time it's Craig Gikowski. Craig, you're a big movie guy. 54 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: We talked about this many times. But what genre of 55 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 1: film is your least favorite? What doesn't work for you? 56 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: Because well, I'm gonna go comedy. Comedy is my least favorite, 57 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: just because I have high high, high comedic standards and 58 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: most film comedy is low low. Uh So, yeah, I 59 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: don't see much comedy. I haven't seen many classic comedies 60 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: just because you know, I had to look up when 61 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 1: we had that episode where where people who only spoken 62 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 1: movie quotes uh, and we had to finish each other's 63 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:53,040 Speaker 1: You started one cold. I had no idea what it was, 64 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 1: and it was from I had to look it up 65 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: as from Dumb and Dumber, which I've never seen, Oh Samson. 66 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: I yeah, I think that one. I will never see it. 67 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: I will never see it, and it's pretty funny. I 68 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: think I'm not a huge fan of scatological humor, which 69 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,560 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff falls into and the moments of that, 70 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 1: but there's actually some pretty brilliant comedic moments in that movie. 71 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: You know it's not funny, Jim Carrey, Come on, do 72 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 1: you have a favorite comedy movie, like one or one 73 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:26,480 Speaker 1: that you really like and think is good. Maybe it's 74 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: not your favorite, but you're like, this one's funny to me. 75 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:35,200 Speaker 1: M m, you know what, you know what? I love 76 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: that Barb and Star. I had no want, I had 77 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: no desire to watch it, and holy shit, that was shown. 78 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:53,880 Speaker 1: Carlo wasted twenty on that pretty well, I guess. I 79 00:04:54,040 --> 00:05:00,600 Speaker 1: guess Dumber and Dumber. I think it's favorite. Yeah. I 80 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: did like that when they're at the gas station, that 81 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: dog marker. I thought that was great. Yeah, that was 82 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 1: That was a funny movie. That was Jim Carrey. Jim 83 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,280 Speaker 1: Carrey is pretty funny. Obviously you haven't seen The Majestic 84 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 1: or Mr. Penguins. I mean some penguin work in that 85 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: movie by the effects department. Pretty great. Last, but not least, 86 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 1: it's Joey Greer. Joey, I've heard you've got a hot 87 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,920 Speaker 1: new stock tip. What is it? What do we need 88 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 1: to be investing in? All right? Look, legally I'm not 89 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:34,160 Speaker 1: allowed to actually say what stock to invest or not 90 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: invest in? Okay, I have to say that. Legally, I 91 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: also have to say I'm not a legal stock trader, 92 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:43,360 Speaker 1: so my advice comes from an amateur speculative point of view. Okay, 93 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: we all stop. Saw what happened that Robin Hood guy? 94 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: What's his name? I forgot his name is something cats 95 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,160 Speaker 1: or whatever? Whether they do the reditor, who's doing? Am 96 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:57,599 Speaker 1: I the only one who's like, no idea? You know what? Yes? Okay, 97 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,760 Speaker 1: this is I'm a money cat run through. I can't 98 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,560 Speaker 1: get enough of it. I swim in it, I live 99 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: in it, I dive in it. Okay, It's just what 100 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 1: I'm about. And right now, if you want to get 101 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,600 Speaker 1: on the hottest stock, this is something I can't say 102 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 1: legally get out of the stock market. Liquid everything you 103 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: can right now, because the stock market A'm gonna be there, honey. Okay, 104 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: what you really need to get to is the soupermarket. Alright, 105 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: go down if you're in downtown l A. If you 106 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 1: go down to Fourth Street and Broadway, there's just dope, 107 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: dope food spot alright now, if you can take all 108 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: the money you're taken out of your stock We're stopping 109 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: this right now. We have a big show to do. 110 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: But great advice, definitely, guys. I'm just gonna invest in Campbell's. 111 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: I think that's the long that's the safe. That's the safe, 112 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: that's the safe supermarket. Let's do a damn show, Shelly. 113 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 1: All of our scene suggestions are gathered from listeners, emails, 114 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 1: or from our Patreon v I p s to become 115 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 1: a Patreon supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive content 116 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: and other perks, just handing over to Patreon dot com 117 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 1: slash Alchemy this. If you'd like to submit a scene 118 00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 1: suggestion via email, please write to the podcast at our 119 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:05,559 Speaker 1: email address, Alchemy this email at gmail dot com. That's 120 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: see one is from Alchemniac Mike del Rosso, who wrote lampsters. 121 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: A hamster powered lamp this year's must have gift for 122 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:24,360 Speaker 1: the holidays. Oh my god, honey, the hamsters inside the 123 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 1: gift died. I don't think this lamp is gonna work 124 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 1: when we give it to Timmy. Oh oh gosh. Um, well, 125 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,920 Speaker 1: he doesn't need to necessarily know that that's what the 126 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 1: hamsters are there for to light it up. It could 127 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: just be a home for the hamsters. The hamsters. So 128 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: we just got of a home for a hamster. Get 129 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: your coat on. We've got to go get hamsters. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. 130 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,240 Speaker 1: Do you think Timmy will sleep through the night? Er? Oh? Yeah, 131 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 1: we can probably leave him here, Yeah, we can probably 132 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 1: from here. Okay, he always leaves through the night. Good. 133 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm just go ahead. Are used here to try to 134 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,120 Speaker 1: get hamsters? Get in line. There's a Black Friday Land 135 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 1: out there. It's the hot new item. Where are gonna 136 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 1: run out? You're gonna have to rush the doors with 137 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 1: everybody else. Get in the line. Will they be living 138 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: when we get in because I'm not gonna wait in 139 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 1: this line unless they're living. They will be. But if 140 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: you guys rush too hard, they might not be. So 141 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:29,000 Speaker 1: you know, listen, maybe you can understand, we've got like 142 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: fifty percent of our gift for our child, and we 143 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,839 Speaker 1: need to get the other part of the first half 144 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,079 Speaker 1: doesn't even matter. So if you would let us go 145 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 1: in front of you, were one step closer to those 146 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 1: sweet sweet hamsters. You think this is the first hamster 147 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:45,079 Speaker 1: sobs story I've heard today. Every single person in this 148 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 1: line has the reason why they need to get in there. 149 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: Excuse me, sir, why do you need to get in here? 150 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 1: Oh god, alright, it's fine, it's fine, all right, we'll 151 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 1: wait patiently. Mom, Dad, Mom, Dad, chicken in the bad Mom, Dad, 152 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:25,719 Speaker 1: They're gone. Yes, my wish came true. Santa granted me 153 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 1: my wish. Oh my god. I called Charlie. Okay, oh 154 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 1: my god, oh my dad, come one. Hello, Hello, Sorry, 155 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,000 Speaker 1: I barely got to my wookie phone. What's going on, Charlie. 156 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 1: It happened. It happened, my wish. It came true. My 157 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: parents are fucking dead. Oh my hush. Hey, hey, folks, 158 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,719 Speaker 1: I noticed you're in the back of the line here 159 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,400 Speaker 1: that I'm in. The Odds of you getting the hamster 160 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:11,360 Speaker 1: tonight are pretty pretty slim, Is that true? But let 161 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,120 Speaker 1: me guess you bought you bought lampsters for your kid. Yeah, 162 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,880 Speaker 1: oh yeah, it happens a lot. You know, they ship 163 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 1: them out live, but you know, it takes a couple 164 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 1: of weeks, you know. And it said it was supposed 165 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: to be delivered almost a week earlier, and then of 166 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 1: course they're dead post office. Post Office lost it's funding 167 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: and so a lot of hamsters are dead in the mail. 168 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,679 Speaker 1: Let's not get political about this. I'm just trying to 169 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: keep my head in the game and get some hamsters. 170 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 1: Well yeah, hey, hey, if you want to make your 171 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 1: kid happy this uh this Christmas? Uh, have you considered 172 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 1: Gebel's gerbil Lege. I don't know. With the cold Joey 173 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: Gebel's make make from from the commercial, that's right, you 174 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: like way different without all that makeup on. They put 175 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,480 Speaker 1: on a lot of makeup for those com personals, Like 176 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: it's practically cloud face what I'm wearing for that. Uh. 177 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 1: And first of all, I want to make clear that 178 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,959 Speaker 1: Gebel's gerbil Light is not a knockoff of lampsters. We 179 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 1: were there first, Well could we put your gebled Gerbils 180 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:21,000 Speaker 1: inside of our hamster lampster? That was my question? Is 181 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:25,800 Speaker 1: it compatible? Compatible? Can Gerbils create the same amount of 182 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: power the hamsters do in order to power the lamp, 183 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,560 Speaker 1: and I'm here to say, yes, they can't. Oh thank god, 184 00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:36,559 Speaker 1: did you get them? Did you get the did you 185 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: get the hamsters? I was. I was too like, you 186 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:47,920 Speaker 1: gotta come back. We didn't. I just want to play. 187 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 1: You want to play, you play me for a little bit. 188 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 1: I was like, welcome, everybody, Come on in, Come on in. 189 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:00,079 Speaker 1: This is what's known as a rager. Now officially, you 190 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 1: have hit rage or capacity. Do whatever you want in 191 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 1: the house. I own it now. Anything you need, anything 192 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: you want, I'm here to help. I just wanted to 193 00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 1: drink Hershey's straight out of the bottle. You guys have that? 194 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,199 Speaker 1: Come here, my man, Come here, we land up a 195 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 1: couple of shot glasses. Here, anybody else, anybody else? Can 196 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:24,400 Speaker 1: we see their bodies? That's the things cheers? Cheers? The 197 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:30,319 Speaker 1: thing is, oh, bitch, The thing is, I don't know 198 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:32,319 Speaker 1: where they are. I think God just took their souls 199 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,559 Speaker 1: and their bodies when I prayed for them to die. Well, 200 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:39,319 Speaker 1: that's amazing. Hey, you guys ever, you guys ever go 201 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,319 Speaker 1: into an adult bathroom, it's pretty fucking crazy. No, I'm 202 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:48,040 Speaker 1: not allowed in my parents. Best, bring everybody, everybody, We're 203 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,560 Speaker 1: gonna do a tour of my parents bathroom. No one 204 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 1: seems as excited. I'm stoked. Let's see what's in there. Thanks, alright, 205 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,319 Speaker 1: come on, come on, come over here in their bedroom. 206 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 1: They have a bath room in her bedroom. It's called 207 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: in sweet whoa isn't her sinks? Go ahead, do whatever 208 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:11,680 Speaker 1: you want and smells different in here? Huh one sink 209 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 1: and that's why they're divorced. Now, what's jack jack foozy tub? 210 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 1: I don't know, but oh that like bubbles and has jets. 211 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 1: Hear me out? What if he filled it up and 212 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:36,319 Speaker 1: jumped in? Yeah, Joey, what's going on so late? What 213 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,880 Speaker 1: do you mean you gotta open the shop back up? 214 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,480 Speaker 1: Come on? Can I just do it in the morning 215 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: or something? I gotta get all these gerbils out right now, 216 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 1: come on, let me just yeah, yeah, hey, we made 217 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: a sale. We made a sale. Oh my god, let's 218 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:50,199 Speaker 1: just call it quitch man. That amster lambster's really just 219 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:53,360 Speaker 1: taken over. No, no, it's not, it's not. We were 220 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:56,120 Speaker 1: there first. We were there first, that this nice couple 221 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,679 Speaker 1: would like, uh, what do we what do we think? 222 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 1: What do we think five Gerbil keep it powered because hamsters, 223 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:05,960 Speaker 1: you know, that will create a little more power per 224 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:13,440 Speaker 1: per rodent. Okay, because we did have three hamsters, originally three, 225 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 1: and these are going to fit in the hamster lambster 226 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 1: we already have, right, we don't got to get a 227 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 1: new Did you bring the lambster with you? No? Okay, 228 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:29,160 Speaker 1: but um, I remember the size and I can kind 229 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 1: of mind it to you. Gerbils are a little leaner, 230 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,480 Speaker 1: a little leaner and longer in hamsters, So I think, 231 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 1: you know, I think the tubes they will fit in 232 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 1: the same tubes. If they're not compatible, bring it back 233 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 1: for a full for a full extreme. It's too late 234 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 1: to bring it back. It's Christmas Eve, It's Christmas Black Friday, 235 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 1: Christmas Eve. All right, we're gonna do spin the bottle 236 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,760 Speaker 1: with my dad's forty four magnum, So everybody sit down, 237 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 1: sit down, not a bottle. Look. I don't know what 238 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 1: you it is, Theresa, but you've been correcting everybody all night. Sorry, guys, 239 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 1: it's almost like ever since I got a twelve eighty 240 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 1: on the s A T s UM, I'm freaking feeling myself. 241 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 1: You're in fifth grade. That's good. That's amazing. I give 242 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,880 Speaker 1: him a shot, you know, because what's the standardized test 243 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: if not a way to test myself. And in the moment, 244 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 1: you can keep doing all of this talking, or you 245 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 1: can start doing some kissing because the gun barrels pointing 246 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:32,720 Speaker 1: at you. Okay, So that's okay, great, So who's who's 247 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: spun it? Who spun it? I didn't spin it? Okay, 248 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:41,240 Speaker 1: So I guess I'm kissing myself. Okay, Okay, guys watched this? 249 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 1: Is it? How smart I am? I can figure this 250 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: one out. Don't worry, don't worry. Okay. So if I 251 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,120 Speaker 1: divide myself into two, that's what I do. Not to 252 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: correct you, but I usually put my fist in the 253 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: shape of the face, and the thumb becomes the mouth, 254 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 1: and I kiss. I kiss my hand where the thumb 255 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 1: and my knuckles meat, and it's like lips. It's just 256 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 1: like lips. Why don't we all do that make out session? 257 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:14,360 Speaker 1: Spend the bottle in Russian Roulette? What's Russian? Well one, 258 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:19,280 Speaker 1: I got you? Okay. So these uh, these chervils in 259 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 1: the bag, they're going to be fine. It seems like 260 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 1: this bag is pretty tight. Yeah, yeah, that's an air 261 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 1: tight bag. No way, no, no where that How long? 262 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 1: How long to travel to get home? It's not that long. 263 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:37,200 Speaker 1: What do you say? It's late at nights, no traffic, traffic, 264 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: but Rold's dead. I wish this. Okay, guys, I know 265 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 1: exactly what you do. We choppled up into the smallest 266 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:51,040 Speaker 1: pieces possible, wide and large throughout the city. That way, 267 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 1: no one is implemented. Chen, let me kitchen, Grab knives, 268 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: grab whatever you can became. It was a pretty U 269 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 1: s A t that I took. I'm not sure that 270 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:05,679 Speaker 1: it was the official one, but I learned a lot. Okay, everybody, 271 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:09,679 Speaker 1: grab a knife? Do you have a knife? Oh? Whoa, whoa, 272 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:16,880 Speaker 1: We've got a change of plans here else, we've got well, 273 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,600 Speaker 1: one of our guys, Sammy Lemon tight he's he went 274 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:25,760 Speaker 1: from nice to naughty. Oh no, and he went from 275 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:31,119 Speaker 1: naughty to naughty here literally he had the audacity to 276 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: pray to me as if I was God, So already 277 00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:40,199 Speaker 1: we're in some kind of naughty's own religiously her heresy. 278 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:44,840 Speaker 1: Or then then he prayed for he wished for his 279 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:50,560 Speaker 1: parents to be dead. Whoa, it's very naughty. Little Darryl 280 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:54,320 Speaker 1: Thompson just disappeared from the list. What happened to Well, 281 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,399 Speaker 1: you better believe that Sammy Lemon tight shot him in 282 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:02,119 Speaker 1: the face a human name, because it sounds like an 283 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:08,080 Speaker 1: elf name is Elforn. He sounded elf borne. Whoa, maybe 284 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:13,120 Speaker 1: this is he must be sacrificed. Al Right, guys, everybody 285 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: line up for some more Hershey shots. I'm really proud 286 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 1: of everybody. We really put our minds together, chopped that 287 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: body up, spread them all around the garden and the yard, 288 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,680 Speaker 1: and there's no sign up there all anymore. So raise 289 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:30,439 Speaker 1: a glass. I don't feel good. I don't know if 290 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,240 Speaker 1: it was the first shot of Hershey's or dismembering her friend. 291 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 1: I don't feel good because if yeah, I listened to 292 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,520 Speaker 1: my plan. It was to spread out the body parts 293 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:43,160 Speaker 1: throughout the city so that you're not in any kind 294 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:47,879 Speaker 1: of suspicion. But it's all in your personal yard. I 295 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,200 Speaker 1: think you're gonna get you own this house now. So 296 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:56,200 Speaker 1: and you shot him in Roulette. That's not the routes, yo, Sammy, Sammy, 297 00:18:56,359 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 1: there's the lights in your driveway. Maybe it's Anna, maybe 298 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:05,880 Speaker 1: in Santa Everybody. I hope he's still asleep. That's sweet, 299 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:11,120 Speaker 1: little precious baby. Are doing, neighbors, How are you keep 300 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 1: it down? Now? You walk? Can't sleep? Can't sleep? You know? Yeah, 301 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,680 Speaker 1: Christmas is always that time of year when it's like, 302 00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:25,160 Speaker 1: oh yeah, that's right, we're in Chicago. What's what's what's 303 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,720 Speaker 1: going on with y'all? What are y'all doing? Well, look 304 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,600 Speaker 1: at this bag of gerbils. We're trying to keep their 305 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 1: sleeping right now. But that's just because of no, we 306 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:38,879 Speaker 1: just bought these. We just you guys sneak out of here. 307 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,639 Speaker 1: I don't think they see us. I mean, look, if 308 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 1: you tell me they're sleeping, they're sleeping. But I mean 309 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 1: they looked good. I'll shake them a little bit. Wow, 310 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,160 Speaker 1: that was a hard shake, sweet you very very wonder 311 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:51,640 Speaker 1: them fell out of the bag and it's on the ground. 312 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:55,160 Speaker 1: I mean they're dead. But did you get a dog, Jim? 313 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,760 Speaker 1: I thought I heard some rustling in the bushes. No dog, 314 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,360 Speaker 1: no dog, no, no, no, just me. Everyone really wants 315 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:06,359 Speaker 1: you to have a partner. Honey. Guess what, Darrel's dead. 316 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:19,600 Speaker 1: My wish came true. That's our first see too. Is 317 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: from listener Luca, who wrote, Hey everyone, I've got a 318 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 1: scene idea backstage at Nicholas Shitspin's iconic sitcom Ships. It's 319 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 1: not a show about nothing, It's a show about shipping. 320 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:36,960 Speaker 1: Thanks Luca. Just make sure your cell phones from the back, okay, 321 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 1: recording Okay, and just um laugh when they tell me 322 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 1: to laugh or laugh when I feel it in my heart. 323 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,200 Speaker 1: You're laugh laugh when they they tell you a laugh. 324 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,720 Speaker 1: And if you're coming down off of the off of 325 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,280 Speaker 1: the seating and you're gonna stand backstage, just just don't 326 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 1: just don't make any noise I get. Just stand backstage. 327 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 1: That's what that passes you. Oh my gosh, this is 328 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 1: so exciting. I thought, you know, my dad has one line. 329 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,800 Speaker 1: I didn't think I was gonna get all the perks. 330 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:08,160 Speaker 1: I've been dying to meet Nicholas Shitzman. She's gonna be backstage. 331 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,880 Speaker 1: He has to be, he probably, yeah, but the please 332 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 1: just don't talk to her. He takes the coolest shits. 333 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,720 Speaker 1: He takes the coolest shit. Yeah, all right, we'll just 334 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,040 Speaker 1: follow the path right here, the yellow line. I'll take 335 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,119 Speaker 1: your backstage. Oh my god, amazing. I wish I had 336 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: friends to share this with. Hi, I'm next. You go great. 337 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 1: Just put your phone in the sleeve here, Okay, do 338 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:37,640 Speaker 1: I have to. Um, I thought my past gave me privileges. Well, 339 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,240 Speaker 1: let's see the past right here. Oh yeah, yeah you 340 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:41,719 Speaker 1: can know, yeah you can. You don't need to put 341 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,399 Speaker 1: in the sleep, just to keep it on silent and 342 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,639 Speaker 1: the volume down. That's it. If you're in the stands, 343 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,280 Speaker 1: please laugh when the title up. And then if you 344 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 1: know you want to go backstage, just ball the yellow okay, okay, um, okay, 345 00:21:55,920 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 1: thank you, Hey, were you? I'm next as refless to go, right, yep, 346 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 1: here's a pass. All right, here's to sleep for your phone. 347 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,200 Speaker 1: Oh well, read the past. I have privileges. I'm I 348 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,400 Speaker 1: get to be on the show whatever part I want 349 00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 1: this week. Let me see that. Oh you're right, yeah okay, yeah, 350 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,480 Speaker 1: uh so just um laugh when it's your line to laugh. 351 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:23,200 Speaker 1: Excuse me, I'm just gonna cross back through you excuse me. Alright, 352 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: So just follow the green line and uh, I'll take 353 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,720 Speaker 1: you right to the stage and talking to the directors 354 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 1: and the writing and cast and everyone else. Right, great, 355 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:37,400 Speaker 1: definitely worth that extra twenty bucks for this past. Hey, 356 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,359 Speaker 1: Nicky Chitz, Uh five minutes, but just I know you 357 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:42,600 Speaker 1: like five minutes, so it's actually ten minutes. But I 358 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,359 Speaker 1: tell you five minutes, because I know it takes you 359 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 1: a little bit longer to get ready. You go taking 360 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 1: a ship? Okay, okay, nicky Um, a couple of things. Um, 361 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,720 Speaker 1: we're getting rid of the second line in the second scene, 362 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 1: so we're crossing that line out. And also they wanted 363 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 1: me to tell you that, um, some people are in 364 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:05,320 Speaker 1: the audience tonight. Okay, I'm taking this ship. Hell yeah, dude, okay, 365 00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 1: so that's five. We needs you on set in five. 366 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:15,879 Speaker 1: Oh god, excuse me, sir. Yeah yeah, Um have you 367 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 1: seen Nick nicol? Um? Have you seen my dad? Who's 368 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:28,440 Speaker 1: your dad? His name is Nicholas Heyworthy. He's playing Janitor. 369 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:32,720 Speaker 1: Let me see. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's in 370 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:36,080 Speaker 1: He's at She's a nut trailer right there. Okay, do 371 00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:40,560 Speaker 1: I look cool? I'm sorry? Do I look cool? It's 372 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 1: been a while that I've I've been seen him in 373 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:49,840 Speaker 1: a while? Yeah, pretty? Yeah? Is this California cool? I'm 374 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: from New Hampshire. Oh. I just kind of came here 375 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:59,119 Speaker 1: to say to my dad. Oh he doesn't know you're here. No, no, 376 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,280 Speaker 1: and you haven't seen him in a while. Barely looks 377 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,960 Speaker 1: at those that I look like, Yeah, no, I haven't 378 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 1: seen him in a while, you know, keep looking here 379 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,960 Speaker 1: when I was four to um follow his dreams and 380 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 1: here he's trailer right there? Can I can I confess 381 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 1: something to you. I've been acting for thirty years and 382 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,120 Speaker 1: this is my first part on a on a sitcom. 383 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,159 Speaker 1: Oh that's pretty cool. I just bought this pass. I 384 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 1: don't even know what I'm supposed to say. You're what. 385 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,760 Speaker 1: I bought a pass and then it was like twenty 386 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 1: bucks more and it says be on the show. So 387 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,320 Speaker 1: I got it. How many how many lines do you have? 388 00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,159 Speaker 1: I have no idea, I don't know what I'm supposed 389 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 1: to say. I don't know what my character is. It 390 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 1: just says beyond the show. So they sent me to 391 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,840 Speaker 1: send me down this green line. I've just been walking 392 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,639 Speaker 1: on this green line. It just keeps going. Started to interrupt. Um, 393 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 1: I have some updates here for you. Hey, welcome, welcome. 394 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,320 Speaker 1: You paid the fee? Correct? Yes, yes, I did, great, terrific. 395 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: So your character actually has a name, You're Larry. Take 396 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 1: a look. So you're in there in the first three 397 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:03,720 Speaker 1: scenes about even there. Well well done, well done, Pala, 398 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 1: I got the one line. What was your characters name? Again? Well, 399 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,040 Speaker 1: it's janitor in the script. But I think I think 400 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:16,560 Speaker 1: his name is is Clarence Tuppets. Okay, I mean that's 401 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,520 Speaker 1: just the backstory that I've worked out, Oh Jenner, quick 402 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 1: note here. So um, so it's says Nick or actually? 403 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,359 Speaker 1: Is that confusing? If I'm Nick and Nicky Shits is 404 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,440 Speaker 1: also Nick, you can call me hey Worthy. M h 405 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 1: m hmm. Well you're never actually characters never referenced by 406 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,240 Speaker 1: name either way. So whatever character name you need to 407 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:40,200 Speaker 1: make yourself uncomfortable, get out of here. That's how I 408 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:41,960 Speaker 1: was gonna do it. Is that too gruff? Or No? 409 00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: That sounds pretty good, except that it's not get out 410 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:48,160 Speaker 1: of here anymore. It's it's scream scram Okay. So it's 411 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,080 Speaker 1: just the one one the word, the one word update 412 00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:52,880 Speaker 1: on the scripts. Here. We're gonna cut the janitor. We're 413 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,480 Speaker 1: it's gonna cut the janitor. Okay, yeah, what do you 414 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,120 Speaker 1: mean cut? What do oh? That is that the guy 415 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:04,680 Speaker 1: with a this is one of our writers here? Just okay, okay, 416 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,600 Speaker 1: well I'm scram I'm here actually, So now that we 417 00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,800 Speaker 1: have the updated scram out of here, scram out of 418 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 1: it's not scram anymore. Actually added the line back it is. 419 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,679 Speaker 1: It's get out of here and don't come back anymore. 420 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,440 Speaker 1: But it's not your line, sir. You have it to 421 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 1: this guy. I'm not the writers. The writers, well just 422 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,280 Speaker 1: don't just don't it if you're the one relating the news. 423 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 1: I feel back forybody like he can do my part 424 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:32,400 Speaker 1: with me. We can just do it in unison together. Yeah, 425 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,680 Speaker 1: here's here's here's an idea. Here's an idea. Um. You 426 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 1: see that group puddle up over there around those monitors. 427 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:39,840 Speaker 1: Those are the writers. Feel free if you want to 428 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,399 Speaker 1: talk to them. I'm sure they'd love to hear your ideas. Okay, Oh, 429 00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 1: here's my paperwork. By the way. Um, I'm just gonna 430 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,320 Speaker 1: sign you out now. Okay, guess alright, So I want 431 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:49,760 Speaker 1: to be I'm gonna be doing the crowd of the 432 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 1: crowd warm off you can. NICKI said, this is great. 433 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:06,879 Speaker 1: Who's the Vanda? And Nicki's me me? Who's who came 434 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:11,919 Speaker 1: from the farthest Who came from the farthest frois Arizona. 435 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,680 Speaker 1: I came from Burbank, but I flew around the world 436 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,960 Speaker 1: the other way to get here. Are you trying to 437 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,720 Speaker 1: be fucking funny? Huh? What are you trying to be fun. 438 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,440 Speaker 1: Oh I really did keep your as you understand that, 439 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 1: fucking as alright, visiting friends in New Zealand. This is 440 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,680 Speaker 1: my job, all right, I'm the crowd warm up to you. 441 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 1: Understand that? Okay, okay, alright from far away. I came 442 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:42,920 Speaker 1: from Arctic Research Station fifteen at the polls. Really did 443 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:52,400 Speaker 1: kick your ass. Huh, everybody, Okay, I got this bag. 444 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 1: I got this bag of pretzels, half bag of pretzels. 445 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: Who wants a bag? Who wants a little bit? I 446 00:27:56,560 --> 00:28:01,160 Speaker 1: wants a pretzel? It's open, Nikki bud ah you Mr five. 447 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 1: Did you take a ship? Yeah? So we need you. 448 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 1: Um a sap. We're ready to go. We got a 449 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,720 Speaker 1: nice big house out there tonight. They're excited to see you. 450 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:18,560 Speaker 1: Um so when you come on up. But Marty, thanks 451 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:19,800 Speaker 1: for picking me up and getting me the hell out 452 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: of there. Man, I just got a voice recording me 453 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 1: saying I'm gonna take a ship. I can't. I can't 454 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,360 Speaker 1: do the show anymore. Man. I just feel like it's 455 00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:30,200 Speaker 1: who I am. It's just just not there. Right. I 456 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,680 Speaker 1: was supposed to be an artist. You know you are 457 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: an artist, Nicky. This is your gig. I don't know, Marty, 458 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 1: but you know what, you can retire on this. You 459 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,640 Speaker 1: could get yourself out of the beach sometime. I do 460 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:46,600 Speaker 1: you know what happened with me in my acts? Okay, 461 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,080 Speaker 1: we put up. He was just so into himself and 462 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:50,920 Speaker 1: then I got in a three way with that other 463 00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 1: girl and it just didn't work out. I just was 464 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 1: handing it like a great time, Nicky. I think of 465 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 1: that story as a legendary story. Marty. It's not about sex, okay, 466 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,080 Speaker 1: for God's sakes, it's about the substance, all right. You 467 00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 1: know I watched videos about people having sex like you 468 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 1: described to me. I don't get the problem, NICKI. I 469 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: think you should get back in there and do your set. 470 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 1: You got talent, you're an artist. It's a it's a sitcom, 471 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 1: it's not a set, Marty. I appreciate you listening to Uh, sir, 472 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,320 Speaker 1: sir before you leave, Janitor or whatever your your name is. Um. 473 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:30,080 Speaker 1: I know you're you Clarence stuff and um there, so 474 00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 1: we have to escort you off the lot in just 475 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 1: a moment. But you do have a guess what um 476 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: you had? You have somebody who didn't. I didn't invite anyone. 477 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: I was gonna make me too nervous. I don't know 478 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: what to say. She's actually at the craft crafty over there, 479 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 1: she's the one, it looks like kind of she looks 480 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:48,720 Speaker 1: at California cool. Oh. I did send postcards to every 481 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 1: casting director in town. Oh, she's right over that crafty. 482 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,680 Speaker 1: But you gotta you gotta keep it quick because we're 483 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,960 Speaker 1: gonna start shooting and we need you escort it. We 484 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,160 Speaker 1: need you off right. I better tell us and Jones 485 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 1: individually wrapped twizzlers. Keep him fresh? Oh hey, hey, no 486 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: you Um, yes, and I know you, and I just 487 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 1: want to say I'm not mad at you. I'm actually 488 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 1: really proud of you for following your dreams coming out 489 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 1: here and acting. Excuse me, sorry, excuse me. I'm a 490 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 1: security I'm supposed to take you off the lot. What 491 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:41,200 Speaker 1: am I interrupting something? Yeah, I'm swing that camera this way. 492 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:45,720 Speaker 1: Just trust me, Just trust me. Now let's start ruling. 493 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:52,200 Speaker 1: I know you. You look familiar. Yeah, um, well I should, 494 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: and maybe just a little bit older. It's tradition to 495 00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 1: have your hands behind your back clocked up while we 496 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:04,320 Speaker 1: do this, so you can continue the conversation. Just being arrested. No, 497 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,520 Speaker 1: you're just being escorted, but it's gonna it's not traditional. 498 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,040 Speaker 1: You sadest. How many times have you've been escorted off 499 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 1: a lot? Never? I've never been on. It's tradish. Put 500 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: your hands behind your back. But Nicky's gone. I don't 501 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:24,640 Speaker 1: know where he is. Biggest episodes. Yes, Florence, Yes, I am, 502 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:31,880 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, and are you Florence Pew? Okay, everybody, everybody, 503 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,120 Speaker 1: keep it down, Keep it down. Uh you sir, the 504 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,560 Speaker 1: one who paid the fee. Look, Nicky's gone. We're gonna 505 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 1: give you all of his lines. We need you on 506 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,920 Speaker 1: right now. Go the rest of us. Just keep this 507 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,960 Speaker 1: conversation down. You would need to bump somebody up to 508 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 1: take over his parts. If he's gonna take over Nicky's, 509 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:53,920 Speaker 1: that's a good point. Should I unlock him? Lock mesk 510 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:58,280 Speaker 1: study that's Florence Floren's pew or Florence my daughter pew? 511 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: What do you think? I think the daughter? What do 512 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 1: you think? Going with the daughter? Okay, let's go to daughter. Okay, okay, no, no, 513 00:32:05,160 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: you're no, you're in it. You're in it. Okay, female, 514 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,640 Speaker 1: you are now Nikki ships there's a script and there 515 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 1: you are, daughter. There you go your your lines now 516 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 1: and go go go, go, go, go go go. You 517 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:24,120 Speaker 1: took my name? Yeah, uh hey, sorry it took so long. 518 00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 1: I was taking a ship scram out of here. Where 519 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 1: do you want me to go? Ships? Vil? He's breaking 520 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 1: free from the cutch. I just wanted you to do 521 00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:49,800 Speaker 1: my homework for me. Man, oh boy, trigonometry talk about 522 00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:54,280 Speaker 1: a lot of shit. Yeah, and I paid you money 523 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 1: to do it. Hey, crowd, warm up, guy, get this 524 00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,960 Speaker 1: audience is to laugh. You need what's going on? I 525 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:05,680 Speaker 1: don't know what I'm doing. I don't know, Dad, help me. 526 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:09,240 Speaker 1: What's my intent? What do I want from this guy 527 00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,000 Speaker 1: in this scene? I guess you just want to connect 528 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:17,000 Speaker 1: with him. Okay, thank you. You're such a good actor. 529 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:23,040 Speaker 1: Are you talking to me? I just think that you're 530 00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:26,560 Speaker 1: really good and you know what you're doing. I've actually 531 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:28,360 Speaker 1: involved me in your footsteps, and I've been doing some 532 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:33,800 Speaker 1: local theater work. Really it's amazing. Okay, we can't, guys, 533 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,880 Speaker 1: we can't have this conversation. Stick to the script. Script 534 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,680 Speaker 1: the line Nicki's gone, the show is falling apart. To 535 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 1: be honest, our audience isn't laughing. This is this is 536 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,560 Speaker 1: as security I can be honest, it was that this 537 00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,880 Speaker 1: whole thing really relied on Nikki ships. Do you watch 538 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:56,240 Speaker 1: comedy movies? I mean here at this office, but not 539 00:33:56,400 --> 00:34:00,640 Speaker 1: outside of work. I keep working pleasure separate. So you 540 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 1: think maybe you could do this? How, yeah, I can 541 00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,880 Speaker 1: do this. Nicky Shits isn't talented. He just happens to 542 00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:12,080 Speaker 1: have great writers. Do you really think that security officer? 543 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:17,839 Speaker 1: What is that? Jim Terry can do this role? Look 544 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: as you can tell, it's been a weird day here. 545 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,120 Speaker 1: I say, let's go let's get let's get Janitor down, 546 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,520 Speaker 1: let's get Flora's the daughter, let's get you fe mane, 547 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,200 Speaker 1: and let's get Jim care of the security officer. And 548 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,880 Speaker 1: I think we should also get the crowd warm up. 549 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:33,880 Speaker 1: Guy down here, come on, come down here, do come 550 00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,840 Speaker 1: down here. I was awful. Well maybe he's better on camera. 551 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:41,360 Speaker 1: Here we go look at this new alrighty then, and 552 00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:50,520 Speaker 1: that's our section. See three. It's from listeners Simon. He wrote, 553 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,239 Speaker 1: Dear Kevin, I just moved from New York to Colorado 554 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:56,400 Speaker 1: and alchemy. This got me through the twix hour drive. 555 00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:59,799 Speaker 1: Thank you all for the amazing pocket. That's a lot 556 00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:02,640 Speaker 1: of podcast to listen to. My suggestion comes from my 557 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:06,359 Speaker 1: driving experience passing by oddly specific museums, including the sod 558 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:12,960 Speaker 1: House Museum. Seen suggestion permit office from museums, order up, Simon. 559 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,520 Speaker 1: All right, we've got all of the permits stacked up here, 560 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:25,360 Speaker 1: but nobody seems to be applying for museums anymore. Maybe 561 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:28,000 Speaker 1: museums are just a thing of the past because of 562 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:36,320 Speaker 1: the Internet. Ah, hello, I have an appointment, an appointment. 563 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 1: Let me look through my book. I didn't. I wasn't 564 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 1: expecting that. Okay, okay, there you are. You must be 565 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:48,600 Speaker 1: Brian's Yes, Hi, Brian, here's a Have you filled out 566 00:35:48,640 --> 00:35:51,440 Speaker 1: a permit for him yet? I actually have? Ye? Oh 567 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,480 Speaker 1: you're so responsible. It was easy. I just printed it 568 00:35:55,560 --> 00:36:02,680 Speaker 1: online and Internet. I wish it didn't exist. Okay, so 569 00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,000 Speaker 1: it does look like you filled this all out correctly. 570 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,600 Speaker 1: And I wrought to check out to the permit office 571 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:12,960 Speaker 1: for Sarise. We've got a check sharise, come up here. 572 00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:17,520 Speaker 1: We're gonna stay open, all right. So you want to 573 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 1: start a museum on start a museum on uh, pornography. 574 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:33,839 Speaker 1: I don't think that's uh. I don't think that's appropriate pornography. 575 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 1: You mean, I assume nudity. Yeah, that's part of it. 576 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:43,239 Speaker 1: I don't I don't think Sureie Shreise, could you come 577 00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,400 Speaker 1: up here? Yeah? Sorry, I was climbing all the stairs. Sorry, 578 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:52,279 Speaker 1: Mr Kettlewell, we've got an applicant and here's the check 579 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:55,839 Speaker 1: for his, uh, for his to check to see if 580 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,480 Speaker 1: we approve it. But it's not approved. But take the 581 00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:01,960 Speaker 1: check quick, quick money, big money. But be honest, do 582 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:08,280 Speaker 1: you think that we could take up Museum of Pornography? Parno? 583 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 1: What you shortened it? By the way, there seems to 584 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 1: be a line for me about Oh there's more people, Charisse. 585 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:22,520 Speaker 1: We might not have to close after all, to close 586 00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,040 Speaker 1: the permit office for museums, because no one was trying 587 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,960 Speaker 1: to open up museums on the internet. Everybody can just 588 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,960 Speaker 1: look up what they want to learn on the internet, 589 00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,640 Speaker 1: but I guess they don't have that for pornography. Just 590 00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:38,959 Speaker 1: want it's not Wow, this place is amazing. Oh look 591 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:46,200 Speaker 1: it's the dick from anal Barbara's twelve. Whoa, Oh my gosh. 592 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:51,520 Speaker 1: They don't touch that. Keep on the line. Sorry, Oh 593 00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:56,880 Speaker 1: my gosh, this is insane, it's crazy. Oh my gosh. Honestly, 594 00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:58,800 Speaker 1: I want to sneak a selfie. Make it look like 595 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:04,200 Speaker 1: I'm fleeting it. You can't put your mouth on that. 596 00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:08,480 Speaker 1: Sorry I put it. It looked like it was touching it. 597 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:15,120 Speaker 1: I mean I can only dream. Excuse me, sir me? 598 00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:20,640 Speaker 1: Uh huh what I just said a question? Um, is 599 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:24,399 Speaker 1: there any way to meet the porno stars here? Meet 600 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:27,839 Speaker 1: the porno stars? Uh? Huh? Do you want to meet 601 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:32,319 Speaker 1: in common when you go to the Field Museum? Yeah, 602 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,480 Speaker 1: I mean yeah, I'm sorry. You probably do want to, 603 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:38,359 Speaker 1: but you can't. The porn the porno stars aren't here. 604 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:42,200 Speaker 1: These are just memorabilia. These are artifacts from the events 605 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 1: are here. Let's see a lot of people walking around 606 00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:52,080 Speaker 1: with trench coats and hats on. Oh my god, Oh 607 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:56,680 Speaker 1: my god, who is this? Might recognize me? Hold on, 608 00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 1: take my pants down. It's long slongh on. Oh, it's 609 00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:10,080 Speaker 1: just part of the exhibit. Huge, huge fans. I mean 610 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,680 Speaker 1: those scenes you did with tiny Box Rachel, I mean 611 00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:19,719 Speaker 1: that was really weird but amazing. We're I don't even know. 612 00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:28,560 Speaker 1: I fun fact, her box wasn't even that tiny. Hey hey, hey, folks, 613 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:30,080 Speaker 1: I couldn't help, but notice you're at the back of 614 00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:33,920 Speaker 1: the line for this, uh for this permit? Uh that 615 00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,759 Speaker 1: the odds of getting your permit today are are pretty low. 616 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,399 Speaker 1: There's a lot of a lot of folks in front 617 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:42,160 Speaker 1: of you. Uh So I was wondering if I have 618 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,880 Speaker 1: a space that recently opened up, uh that that is 619 00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:51,360 Speaker 1: available to maybe put a museum. Man. Okay, okay, all right, 620 00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,560 Speaker 1: I got what I got. I hoped you. I hooked 621 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:58,319 Speaker 1: Jim Joey Garbles by the way us from the commercials. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 622 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,040 Speaker 1: that I've moved on. I've moved on that that makeup 623 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,640 Speaker 1: on the commercial holy ship. Yeah, it's a lot. It's 624 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,399 Speaker 1: a lot, isn't it. But this is my real face, 625 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,960 Speaker 1: without the without the clown makeup on. Anyway, I got 626 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:15,200 Speaker 1: destroyed by lampsters, destroyed, destroyed by lambsters. And I've got 627 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:20,719 Speaker 1: a a three thousand foot retail space that that is available, 628 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,400 Speaker 1: uh for for maybe for maybe a museum. And I 629 00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:26,480 Speaker 1: wouldn't ask you to get a permit. I wouldn't ask 630 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:30,040 Speaker 1: you to get a firm really. Yeah, what's what's your 631 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:35,480 Speaker 1: museum about? Just? Uh flakes of human skin? So um 632 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:43,759 Speaker 1: you sick? Fuck it was sick fuck? No thanks kicking, sir, sir, 633 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,279 Speaker 1: you're toward the back of the line. The odds of 634 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:53,279 Speaker 1: getting in today are pretty slim. I'm Joey Garbel's from 635 00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:57,600 Speaker 1: the commercials. I gotta I gotta retail space that that 636 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:01,320 Speaker 1: it needs a tenant now, and I wouldn't ask you 637 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:05,360 Speaker 1: to to get the permit that that this government regulation. 638 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:09,280 Speaker 1: You know, I'm interested, I'm interested. Okay, what what's your museum. 639 00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:14,600 Speaker 1: It's a gym Carey museum. Uh huh. It's devoted to 640 00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,399 Speaker 1: a devoted to his dramatic work. I'm assuming that will 641 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,839 Speaker 1: be part of it. That'll be the serious annex wing, 642 00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:25,239 Speaker 1: but it'll be mostly his comedies, his his appearances on 643 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:30,399 Speaker 1: talk shows when opinions on vaccinations is beer. It's gonna 644 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,760 Speaker 1: be great. You know. I'm gonna be charging fifty grand 645 00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,920 Speaker 1: a month for the space, so it's probably out of 646 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:40,000 Speaker 1: your price range. And we're gonna get a pornography museum. 647 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,319 Speaker 1: So you can go back to the back of the line, sir, 648 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:50,120 Speaker 1: you're out of here. Well, some something just happened something. 649 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:56,719 Speaker 1: Let's say, how was your day, grandpa. You look like 650 00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:00,879 Speaker 1: you got a lot of exercise, and I like that. Well, 651 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,840 Speaker 1: there was a lot of action at the permit permit 652 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:10,800 Speaker 1: shop today. You're trying to get another permit I love that. 653 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:15,839 Speaker 1: That's wonderful. But would you believe somebody wanted to open 654 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:20,120 Speaker 1: a pornography museum? I told them no, So thank god 655 00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:23,120 Speaker 1: that will never open up. We got to keep the 656 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:28,719 Speaker 1: streets clean, sweetheart, Your grandpa is a hero sure, and 657 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:33,640 Speaker 1: and and my hero grandpa still has a very large 658 00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:36,720 Speaker 1: bank account, right, like, not getting giving that permit didn't 659 00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,560 Speaker 1: really well. The good news is is our our business 660 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,759 Speaker 1: plan means people paid to apply. That doesn't mean that 661 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,040 Speaker 1: they get the permit. I mean, I don't want to 662 00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:47,879 Speaker 1: sound evil, but that's the way it works. And I'm 663 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:53,080 Speaker 1: not counting your money. I just was worried aboutn't expect. 664 00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:56,200 Speaker 1: So you probably are most excited to one day take 665 00:42:56,320 --> 00:43:00,200 Speaker 1: over the permit office, right did you believe if I 666 00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:02,880 Speaker 1: gave a permit to a man for human flicks of 667 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:08,080 Speaker 1: skin today, but not the pornos? Oh no, no, no, 668 00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:11,919 Speaker 1: did you know that pornography? I'm sorry, So we're gonna 669 00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,200 Speaker 1: have to close down your storefront. I mean there's nothing inside, 670 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,759 Speaker 1: you have no rent coming in. I'm sorry, that's just 671 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,960 Speaker 1: uh huh? And and who are you? Who are you 672 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:24,399 Speaker 1: to say so? I just aren't for the city, sir. Okay, 673 00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:26,759 Speaker 1: I'm just giving you the news. I'm just giving you 674 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:30,360 Speaker 1: the news. All right, hold it right there, part of me. 675 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:36,279 Speaker 1: Hi when Larry, I don't know Larry Lambster. Here's my 676 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:41,719 Speaker 1: business card, Oh my god, from Hamster Lambsters. I want 677 00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,440 Speaker 1: to talk to you, Mr g. You know when I 678 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,680 Speaker 1: bought one of these, all the hamsters were dead. All right, 679 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:49,440 Speaker 1: when I bought that, the hamsters were dead. You just 680 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:53,080 Speaker 1: want me to know that I do. Okay, Yeah, A 681 00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:57,480 Speaker 1: lot of people had that problem. Listen, Gebel, I like you, Gebels, 682 00:43:58,360 --> 00:44:03,160 Speaker 1: I like you g a lot. Today's your lucky day. 683 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:05,760 Speaker 1: I want to help you out. No, no way, Lambster 684 00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:07,880 Speaker 1: is your Christian name. By the way, it changed. It 685 00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:11,680 Speaker 1: changed in after it came up with a product that's 686 00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:14,840 Speaker 1: neither here nor there. This this briefcase full of money, 687 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,360 Speaker 1: says I can call myself whatever I want, and I 688 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,960 Speaker 1: want to give this to you verbals because you're a 689 00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:24,200 Speaker 1: good person. You're a decent person. I mean, the Girbles 690 00:44:24,200 --> 00:44:27,600 Speaker 1: traditionally weren't a good good family. I spell it differently. 691 00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:33,600 Speaker 1: At the end of the day, Sarah, you know, yeah, 692 00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:35,480 Speaker 1: I got a perfect SCOREMT s A T. So I 693 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,719 Speaker 1: can go there and probably get a full ride. But 694 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,759 Speaker 1: after college, you know, I just I don't want to work. 695 00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,520 Speaker 1: M hm. You know, I want to have fun at college, 696 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:50,080 Speaker 1: but afterwards I just kind of don't. I don't know. 697 00:44:50,080 --> 00:44:51,759 Speaker 1: I can't really think about right that that right now 698 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:55,640 Speaker 1: at the wake, it's just so crazy that he died, 699 00:44:55,760 --> 00:45:01,760 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, right, that's crazy, eat super crazy. 700 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,840 Speaker 1: The problem is it's bringing up a lot of he 701 00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:08,960 Speaker 1: hasn't been at school at all. Oh, for real, he's 702 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:17,080 Speaker 1: thatch I know. God, I mean, hey, kids, friends, face 703 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,480 Speaker 1: for me to me at the part of museum. Now listen, 704 00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:23,120 Speaker 1: we all know what happened that night, okay, and it's 705 00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,440 Speaker 1: our secret, and we got to live with that for 706 00:45:25,480 --> 00:45:28,880 Speaker 1: the rest of our lives. You know, my parents came home, 707 00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:33,160 Speaker 1: they weren't dead. Everything I fucked up that night. But 708 00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,080 Speaker 1: I just want to make a pact with you here 709 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:41,040 Speaker 1: in front of this exhibit that we don't say anything forever. Okay. 710 00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,359 Speaker 1: That means if you go away to Yale, you don't 711 00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:47,120 Speaker 1: say anything. It means if one day you become a 712 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:50,640 Speaker 1: security guard, you don't say anything. That means if one 713 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:56,120 Speaker 1: day you want to open up, it's just the permit office. Yeah, yeah, 714 00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,640 Speaker 1: we're gonna have to show it down. Apparently permit was 715 00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:04,440 Speaker 1: given up in a pornography. Are you okay, Harold? Is 716 00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:07,520 Speaker 1: it your heart again? It might be my heart? Look 717 00:46:07,560 --> 00:46:11,520 Speaker 1: at me, Harold, look at me. I gotta get this out. 718 00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:13,560 Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta say my thing and then we 719 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,160 Speaker 1: can get up. But we gotta shut it down. And 720 00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:19,160 Speaker 1: we got before they say the three is the killer. 721 00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:21,759 Speaker 1: Come on, I got a coup heart attacks too. You 722 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:28,799 Speaker 1: want me to stop? Wait? This is important something wait 723 00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:31,400 Speaker 1: before you go wait. I want to tell him something. 724 00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:35,279 Speaker 1: I didn't give that permit out. I said, no, what 725 00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:43,360 Speaker 1: that must be a black market permit. My granddaughter? Wow, 726 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,560 Speaker 1: it's a vial of water from the pond thing and 727 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:52,600 Speaker 1: the Truman show. This is so cool? Ship is that 728 00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:56,600 Speaker 1: the number twenty three? From the number twenty three? Oh 729 00:46:56,719 --> 00:47:00,440 Speaker 1: my god, this is sick. Get a photo with it. 730 00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,000 Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna touch it. I'm gonna touch the 731 00:47:02,040 --> 00:47:08,480 Speaker 1: Tony three. Kay. Security is so much more lax here 732 00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,560 Speaker 1: than the other museums. You know, hey, fellows, do you 733 00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:15,000 Speaker 1: guys like Jim Carrey? That means you probably like comedy 734 00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:19,080 Speaker 1: in general. Huh? All right, check this out. I got 735 00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:25,680 Speaker 1: two free passes to see NICKI shits tonight. What he's 736 00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:30,080 Speaker 1: doing secret underground set tonight and tonight only. And I 737 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:33,480 Speaker 1: only can give these two super fans of comedy these tickets. 738 00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:35,000 Speaker 1: Look like they just I mean, he looks like you 739 00:47:35,080 --> 00:47:37,120 Speaker 1: just wrote this on a piece of paper. Yeah, that's 740 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:40,399 Speaker 1: how underground it is, okay, I mean no one seen 741 00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,680 Speaker 1: him says he walked off his sitcom six months ago. 742 00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:48,560 Speaker 1: This would amazing, This is amazing. All right, I'll leave 743 00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:51,600 Speaker 1: you guys there. I'll see you tonight six pm. You 744 00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:56,800 Speaker 1: bet man, there's no way this isn't true. What do 745 00:47:56,920 --> 00:48:01,640 Speaker 1: you mean? My grandfather didn't leave me any money. He 746 00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:06,480 Speaker 1: just left me lifetime passes to the w B lot. 747 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,279 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that's just all the record show, just to 748 00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:15,239 Speaker 1: watch whatever sitcoms I want. Yes, I didn't even watch 749 00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:19,640 Speaker 1: your thing. I didn't even know it was a thing. No, no, no, 750 00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:21,759 Speaker 1: he had money for me. He had money for me 751 00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,959 Speaker 1: because he didn't he didn't ever want me to work. 752 00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:29,160 Speaker 1: The City has acquired his finances, so thank you. There's 753 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:32,040 Speaker 1: a line. Please, what is that? I don't even know 754 00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,800 Speaker 1: what that like? The city? Do you even be a 755 00:48:34,840 --> 00:48:40,319 Speaker 1: lot of attitude? And I'm grieving. Okay, I'm working. There's 756 00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:44,520 Speaker 1: I'm next, I'm next, Thank you. Hi, my grandmother died. 757 00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:49,120 Speaker 1: Let's see what she left me? Okayst here? Okay, do 758 00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:53,200 Speaker 1: you have a proof of grammarship? Mm? Hm? You have 759 00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:56,360 Speaker 1: any cookeys there? Any you can see my cheek right here? 760 00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,759 Speaker 1: It's a little red. Even pinched my cheek, my whole life. Well, 761 00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,440 Speaker 1: you just do pinch it right then? Okay, okay, let 762 00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:05,040 Speaker 1: me let okay, it's a little red. Yeah, okay, thank 763 00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:09,000 Speaker 1: you there. Oh great, Okay, she left you a two 764 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:16,439 Speaker 1: story estate right outside Philadelphia, Penmore. Okay. Address yes, six 765 00:49:16,560 --> 00:49:25,960 Speaker 1: four sixteen Ashton Road, Ashton Road, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Yeah, seven 766 00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:32,800 Speaker 1: four nine three nine. Phone number is six for six six. 767 00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:38,320 Speaker 1: I'm next. Sorry, I just had to there's a long hallway. 768 00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:42,560 Speaker 1: So what did um? What did? What? Did he leave 769 00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:45,440 Speaker 1: me something or something? I didn't expect to be in 770 00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,400 Speaker 1: the wheel or anything like that. I just kind of 771 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:54,240 Speaker 1: worked for him. Let me see here, Arnie Davis, Charlie David's. 772 00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,239 Speaker 1: It's just kind of my intuition. I just like PLoP 773 00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:58,840 Speaker 1: my finger on your name. I don't even know it, 774 00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:03,120 Speaker 1: I just it. They just summoned the intended to be 775 00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:06,480 Speaker 1: a bouquet salesman and served me, we have to do that, 776 00:50:06,719 --> 00:50:09,239 Speaker 1: We have to do that. It's actually a scary job, 777 00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,000 Speaker 1: um because most of his finances, if not all of them, 778 00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:14,800 Speaker 1: have been acquired by the city. But he did, he 779 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,439 Speaker 1: was able to leave this to here. It's um. It's 780 00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:23,239 Speaker 1: a golden permit. It's a four inch thick, six inch 781 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:32,480 Speaker 1: wide golden It's huge. It's just pure gold. Do you 782 00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,560 Speaker 1: want to take that? How much do you think that 783 00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:38,000 Speaker 1: this is worth? I have no idea. I just I 784 00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:41,600 Speaker 1: mean if I had a guest to three billion dollars. Again, 785 00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,080 Speaker 1: all right, thanks everybody for coming out to this very 786 00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:58,200 Speaker 1: secretive performance. Snappy fingers if you're in a good mood. Yeah, okay, okay, okay. 787 00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:03,000 Speaker 1: Now he's been on for a while, but he's been 788 00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:06,920 Speaker 1: in the lab, so to speak, cooking up some funny 789 00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:10,279 Speaker 1: it's just for you. Now. We don't have long because 790 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:12,640 Speaker 1: we are squatting here in this warehouse. But he's gonna 791 00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:16,880 Speaker 1: do his set as best he can. Make some noise 792 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:29,440 Speaker 1: for the one the only Nicholas ships man. All right, okay, everybody, 793 00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:33,000 Speaker 1: that's not that's not Niki shit, It's not Nicky shit. 794 00:51:33,440 --> 00:51:37,839 Speaker 1: Oh god, oh god, Oh yeah, who wants a mega 795 00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:48,760 Speaker 1: prencils that's his warm up guy, So good, don't show. 796 00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:56,360 Speaker 1: Let's meet everybody, see what they're up to. Jackie and 797 00:51:56,520 --> 00:52:00,600 Speaker 1: dullast or Earthy. Hey Cole, thanks to have me. What 798 00:52:00,719 --> 00:52:04,200 Speaker 1: a good time. I love this, this troop, this crew 799 00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:07,920 Speaker 1: of peeps. Um, you know me, you know me. I'm 800 00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:11,240 Speaker 1: watching and talking all about Christmas movies all the time. 801 00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:14,240 Speaker 1: So you can check it out on the most Wonderful 802 00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:17,160 Speaker 1: Pot of the Year. That's that's where you can find 803 00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:23,000 Speaker 1: me and Jackie Ruthy on Instagram moved as well. Nice Alvarado. 804 00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:25,759 Speaker 1: Thank you, Cole. It's fun to play with you and 805 00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:29,400 Speaker 1: everybody has always you know, last week I got to 806 00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:31,799 Speaker 1: do a show at the West Side Comedy Theater. Those 807 00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:34,759 Speaker 1: are starting to pick back up, So if you are 808 00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:38,600 Speaker 1: in the Santa Monica area, or I guess just in 809 00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:41,880 Speaker 1: Los Angeles, come check out a show. Um. The improv 810 00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:44,279 Speaker 1: shows are typically Monday nights. You can go to west 811 00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:48,000 Speaker 1: Side Comedy dot com to see when I'm playing when 812 00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,960 Speaker 1: other people on this in this podcast are playing. Actually, Cole, 813 00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,560 Speaker 1: I saw you there on Monday as well. Yeah, cob 814 00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:57,359 Speaker 1: last night, Hey day, I'm sure Bear supply be making 815 00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:02,360 Speaker 1: a pretty pretty pony YEA check check that out Westside 816 00:53:02,400 --> 00:53:07,960 Speaker 1: Comedy dot Com. Nice Craigatkowski. I gotta say if from 817 00:53:08,040 --> 00:53:12,480 Speaker 1: the from the second scene, uh, Canonically, Jim Carey received 818 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:16,719 Speaker 1: his first acting role, being promoted from security guard to 819 00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:20,399 Speaker 1: a walk on part in the Nikki Shit sitcom. Then 820 00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,640 Speaker 1: six months later, after Nicky Shits had walked off his sitcom, 821 00:53:25,080 --> 00:53:28,719 Speaker 1: there was a full devoted Jim Carey Museum dedicated to 822 00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,920 Speaker 1: all the movies and television shows he had shot in 823 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,959 Speaker 1: that six month period. So this is now canonically true 824 00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:37,759 Speaker 1: in the world of Alchemy this from now on, and 825 00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:40,560 Speaker 1: I recommend the documentary Jim and Andy the Great Beyond 826 00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:42,680 Speaker 1: if you want to see a little more about Jim 827 00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:46,479 Speaker 1: Carey's working process as a as a serious method actor. 828 00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,600 Speaker 1: Great and go ahead and change his Wikipedia page to 829 00:53:49,640 --> 00:53:56,920 Speaker 1: reflect everything you jaf Ceney. Well, I'm so excited to 830 00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:00,080 Speaker 1: be finishing another episode of Alchemy this if you like 831 00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:04,400 Speaker 1: to join us on November it's our live hang. It 832 00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:07,640 Speaker 1: will be our Thanksgiving style live hang. It's the last 833 00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:10,480 Speaker 1: Saturday of every month at ten am Pacific Standard time. 834 00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:16,160 Speaker 1: Twitch dot tv Slash Alchemy this nice, Joey Greare, I 835 00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:17,839 Speaker 1: can't I said, I wanted to say it again. Get 836 00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:22,080 Speaker 1: the soup, Get soup. That's that's that. That's all I'm 837 00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:26,400 Speaker 1: gonna say. You can't say anymore legally. Yell, we understand. 838 00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:30,600 Speaker 1: I'm at Cole Strander at Stratton Cole On Socials SF 839 00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:34,600 Speaker 1: sketch Fest dot com twenty anniversary festival in January, the 840 00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:39,560 Speaker 1: seventh coming back. We're optimistic everything will go okay because 841 00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:40,800 Speaker 1: you know, the world is still a bit of a 842 00:54:40,880 --> 00:54:44,040 Speaker 1: dumpster fire. Our line up comes out November nineteenth, so 843 00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:46,880 Speaker 1: head on over there then to take us one uh 844 00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:49,440 Speaker 1: some podcast called Alchemy This will probably be part of 845 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:55,520 Speaker 1: the lineup. Check out that day and come see us 846 00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:59,360 Speaker 1: live in San Francisco. Gang. Let's thank our engineering producer 847 00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:03,520 Speaker 1: Doug Bay and the fine folks at I heeart Media 848 00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:09,520 Speaker 1: dot com. Please write to us at Alchemy this email 849 00:55:09,560 --> 00:55:16,200 Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. That'scom until next time.