Speaker 1: Jesse Tyler Ferguson is best known for playing Mitchell Pritchett
Speaker 1: on the award winning series Modern Family, but he is
Speaker 1: also known for his work on Broadway Very very Accomplished
Speaker 1: Broadway Star. Now, Jesse is taking on the podcasting world
Speaker 1: with his new podcast Dinner on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson.
Speaker 1: This is just Be with Jesse Tyler Ferguson. So where
Speaker 1: are you, la?
Speaker 2: Where did you grow up in Albuquerque, New Mexico?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: Really? Is it great?
Speaker 2: There?
Speaker 3: Is it nice?
Speaker 2: It was not great? It's better now. It's not great
Speaker 2: when I was there.
Speaker 3: Okay, I've never been. I don't.
Speaker 1: I've just I've never been to Taos or any of
Speaker 1: the place I've always wanted to go there.
Speaker 3: It's just one of the few.
Speaker 1: Places really it is. Yeah, I'm putting on that on
Speaker 1: my list right now. So I think I met you
Speaker 1: once with Eric. We came to meet you somewhere. Were
Speaker 1: you at, like, had you finished a play or you
Speaker 1: were doing something. I'm like, it's like Foggy, I met
Speaker 1: you in New York somewhere.
Speaker 2: The first time I met you was you were both
Speaker 2: on an episode of Watch What Happens Live? And you
Speaker 2: were so so nice to me, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I had never done it before. And I also had
Speaker 2: like never met anyone from like the Real Housewives franchise,
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna be really honest with you, I was
Speaker 2: terrified and you completely like alleviated all of my fears.
Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, she's so cool, she's so sweet,
Speaker 2: she's so down to earth. You brought me like skinny
Speaker 2: girl Margarita met and like you know, of course, you
Speaker 2: were just very you were just very nice. And then
Speaker 2: the next time I met you, you were with Eric
Speaker 2: and I don't know if it was a play that
Speaker 2: words me. I feel like it might have been in
Speaker 2: New York. You didn't come to New York.
Speaker 1: I was like a warehousey brick wall type cool place
Speaker 1: and there was a party and you were there and
Speaker 1: I don't even.
Speaker 3: Know if you were married.
Speaker 2: I might not have been married yet. Yeah, So.
Speaker 3: You so what.
Speaker 1: I didn't know a lot about you, Like I didn't
Speaker 1: know how embedded in theater you really are.
Speaker 3: Like that's really the core of.
Speaker 1: Your being and your business, and that's your passion or
Speaker 1: that's just the path you have been mostly on.
Speaker 2: No, that's what I that's what I intended to do
Speaker 2: with my career is be a theater actor. I went
Speaker 2: to school for musical theater specifically, and did that for
Speaker 2: quite a few years before getting an opportunity to have
Speaker 2: to out let and do TV. And I never wanted
Speaker 2: to do TV. I was finding theater. You know, I
Speaker 2: wasn't making a ton of money, but I was happy
Speaker 2: to do it. I just never saw myself as I
Speaker 2: don't want to say as like talented enough, but I
Speaker 2: just never saw myself as someone who would ever be
Speaker 2: desired to be on TV.
Speaker 3: Like I didn't commercial enough.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, But then I always used every opportunity when
Speaker 2: I was doing Modern Family to go back to do
Speaker 2: theater in New York, whether it be like Shakespeare the
Speaker 2: Over the Summer, which is a really great truncated you
Speaker 2: know schedule it it's just over the summer, so it
Speaker 2: gets right into the hiatus. And then when I was
Speaker 2: done with the Modern Family theater and I did a
Speaker 2: play for a year, and uh yeah, it's always my
Speaker 2: my my major passion. But now I'm you know, I
Speaker 2: love that I have opportunity to do other things and
Speaker 2: make some money.
Speaker 1: Well, is it like a comedian just wanting to get
Speaker 1: back on the road, Like it's the connection and it's
Speaker 1: that that that jolt.
Speaker 3: Is it that fixed?
Speaker 1: Because being on TV I I've done I went to
Speaker 1: the groundings in Second City. I like doing improv and
Speaker 1: being on reality TV. When I have done it, or
Speaker 1: even just doing my social media, it's so not constricting.
Speaker 1: And I would think that and when I've done like
Speaker 1: a few things on TV, it's been so tedious to me,
Speaker 1: like it feels like you have to do this, then
Speaker 1: we have to pick it up seventeen ways, we have
Speaker 1: to pick up the other opposite. And for me, I
Speaker 1: think that sounds very very constricting and you have to
Speaker 1: be very patient.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well just like just like okay, for example, like
Speaker 2: a podcast is like a great long form conversation, like
Speaker 2: when you're on a talk show with like you know
Speaker 2: Ellen or you know, I'm gonna go back to Rosie O'donnald,
Speaker 2: like you know, you're you're telling a story in like
Speaker 2: six minutes. Oh it's insane, and like I always have
Speaker 2: our palpitations what I'm doing. I'm like, I gotta get
Speaker 2: all my story points out. But with the podcast, like
Speaker 2: you get to have this like forty five to an
Speaker 2: hour long conversation with someone and like really get to
Speaker 2: know someone so kind of the same way. That's why
Speaker 2: I love theater. It's because you have this like this,
Speaker 2: this you're afforded all this time both with like creating
Speaker 2: a character, but then also in your performance with you know,
Speaker 2: with an audience. Like you get to sit with an
Speaker 2: audience for an hour and a half or two hours
Speaker 2: or hour a long the play is and tell the
Speaker 2: story at your own pace and you're not like rushing
Speaker 2: against the clock and having to like get to the
Speaker 2: next scene because you know, you got to make lunch.
Speaker 2: It's like you get to do this thing for two
Speaker 2: hours and show an audience like what the story is,
Speaker 2: and there's no editor that's going to come in and
Speaker 2: slice it up and like Frankenstein it together into whatever
Speaker 2: it is. And my god, from reality TV, you must
Speaker 2: have a whole different experience with what that is. But like,
Speaker 2: you know, it's it's just this great luxury of having
Speaker 2: this intimacy with this group of people who have chosen
Speaker 2: to sit with you in this quiet, dark space for
Speaker 2: a few hours.
Speaker 3: And I just well, it doesn't have to be perfect.
Speaker 2: You're connecting, It doesn't to be perfect. Because if you
Speaker 2: make a mistake or you don't feel like you're really
Speaker 2: connected to a moment, like you gotta do it again tomorrow.
Speaker 1: You know, that's hard to leave behind yesterday, like I
Speaker 1: used to. I did a talk show for a year,
Speaker 1: which I didn't like because I hated directing traffic. But
Speaker 1: I didn't like with your a person who gets in
Speaker 1: your head about what just happened, but you have no
Speaker 1: choice to show must go on?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, very interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and no with reality TV with the editing, I
Speaker 1: never ever reality TV is effectively a blind date. You
Speaker 1: come home, you tell your friend in three minutes.
Speaker 3: What it was.
Speaker 1: Usually, you know, they don't usually have an ax to
Speaker 1: grind with one person. It's usually like what it was,
Speaker 1: It's just a crystallization of what it was, you know,
Speaker 1: right right?
Speaker 3: So what was it like leaving?
Speaker 1: Like just the knowing that the ending was coming of
Speaker 1: modern family of that? Was it depressing?
Speaker 3: It all?
Speaker 1: Was it was it? Did you feel like lost when
Speaker 1: it was over? Did it feel weird? And it felt
Speaker 1: like liberating? You know, like a new chapter.
Speaker 2: It's it's a combination of so many different things in
Speaker 2: the same way that it feels like people are gathering
Speaker 2: together for a funeral as well as like a celebration.
Speaker 2: Like it's just it's so many different emotions coming at
Speaker 2: to you from so many different directions. You know, we
Speaker 2: did it for eleven years, which is a really really
Speaker 2: long time think artistically, we were all ready to move.
Speaker 1: On tapped it, get the last money and the last story.
Speaker 1: But we did it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thats right. And you know there's also this great
Speaker 2: you know, you've you've been with these people every day
Speaker 2: for eleven years, and to to have to say goodbye
Speaker 2: to them, you know, I guess it's sort of the
Speaker 2: same as like how people feel at the end of
Speaker 2: like graduation from you know, high school. It's like you've
Speaker 2: got all these people that you you've spent you know,
Speaker 2: maybe twelve years with, like all of a sudden, you're
Speaker 2: not going to see every day. I didn't have a
Speaker 2: connection with anyone I went to high school. But so
Speaker 2: I don't know what that feels like, but like I
Speaker 2: imagine something like that, like these people you just have
Speaker 2: such a deep connection to you don't get to see
Speaker 2: on a regular basis. And but for for us, you know,
Speaker 2: it's interesting when we ended, we ended in a February
Speaker 2: of twenty twenty, so we all had like we were like,
Speaker 2: what's next, and then we're like, oh, it's lockdown for
Speaker 2: you know a.
Speaker 3: Year now, right, A good time to process, but a little.
Speaker 2: Too much time, a little too much time, I think
Speaker 2: for all of us, Like, you know, we were excited
Speaker 2: to see each other again in a few months, like
Speaker 2: reading that on like the Jimmy Kimmel Show when they
Speaker 2: were going to when they were going to air the
Speaker 2: actual finale. We were there was a lot of press
Speaker 2: that was gonna be around that we were all going
Speaker 2: to be together. We all had Okay, well I'll see you,
Speaker 2: you know in a few months, and we didn't get
Speaker 2: to see each other, and it was like on zoom
Speaker 2: and little boxes and so like we didn't really get
Speaker 2: a process it in a way that I think we
Speaker 2: were intending to process it. And you know, for me,
Speaker 2: I was meant to go to New York and start
Speaker 2: work on a play. I actually left two weeks after
Speaker 2: we'd done shooting, and I was in the process of
Speaker 2: that when COVID happened, so I had to come back
Speaker 2: to LA and then like wondering, am I ever going
Speaker 2: to do this thing that I've been so excited to
Speaker 2: do for so long, I was sort of going to
Speaker 2: bring me out of the depression or the law of
Speaker 2: like not being a modern family anymore. And I didn't
Speaker 2: have that thing either, and it was a very interesting
Speaker 2: time for all of us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, methadone, you were just sort of like cold turkey. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: did you feel a little bit like, listen, eleven years
Speaker 1: is the sickest run ever? But did you feel did
Speaker 1: anyone did you feel like you peaked in high school?
Speaker 1: Like it was you were younger in your career and like,
Speaker 1: are you ever going to do anything as major as that?
Speaker 1: And like afraid that that would be your biggest, bestest
Speaker 1: thing you'd ever do, which, by the way, if it was,
Speaker 1: it would still be pretty amazing, like the like Friends
Speaker 1: or anything that anybody was on for years.
Speaker 2: I think for me, at least up to this point,
Speaker 2: so many projects that I had got to do were like, well,
Speaker 2: that was that was it, that was going to be that,
Speaker 2: that was the apex of my career. And I've had
Speaker 2: several moments like that before Modern Family, which I'm really
Speaker 2: grateful for. And then even after Modern Family, I did
Speaker 2: this play and I gotta win a Tony Award for it,
Speaker 2: and I thought, well, this is like a.
Speaker 3: Whole other level, you know, so different genre and a.
Speaker 2: Different genre and a different medium. So it's like, I
Speaker 2: don't think there will ever be anything like Modern Family.
Speaker 2: I don't anticipate being on another show that runs for
Speaker 2: eleven years and having a connection with a cast as
Speaker 2: deeply as I did with the cast and Modern Family.
Speaker 2: But you never know. I mean at O'Neil thought that
Speaker 2: that Married with Children was going to beeh than and
Speaker 2: like he went on and that rant for eleven years,
Speaker 2: and then he did another series that was more successful
Speaker 2: and he was more praise for. So you know, I
Speaker 2: think that's very rare, but it certainly happens. And you know,
Speaker 2: if you ever start to think, like, well that was
Speaker 2: it with my career, like you're that, you're fucking yourself
Speaker 2: so hard because like you know, I'm only forty seven
Speaker 2: years old, which yeah, you know, if I you'd asked
Speaker 2: me like twenty years ago, would have said that's old.
Speaker 2: But like I don't feel old, and I have so
Speaker 2: much more I want to do, so I feel very optimistic.
Speaker 3: And what does your husband do?
Speaker 2: Well, he he's technically a lawyer. He passed the bar,
Speaker 2: and he he didn't work actually practicing a lot, but
Speaker 2: he set up a lot of nonprofits for different influencers
Speaker 2: and celebrities. He would be people to work on the nonprofits,
Speaker 2: and he had a company that actually did that for
Speaker 2: a while. He's and he's still very active in politics,
Speaker 2: but he right now has been producing a lot, and
Speaker 2: he's produced several Broadway shows and he's actually been nominated.
Speaker 2: He was nominated a few days ago for his fifth
Speaker 2: Tony Award.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: And it's so funny because on the first season he
Speaker 2: decided to produce something. He was nominated for two different
Speaker 2: Tony Awards and he won one of them. And that's me.
Speaker 2: I've been in this business for like twenty years and
Speaker 2: I have never had never at that point, been even
Speaker 2: nominated for Tony Award. And he like in his first season,
Speaker 2: was like I'm going to just see what this is,
Speaker 2: like this toe Tony Award, Like that is so unfair.
Speaker 2: But since then I have got my own.
Speaker 1: That's unbelievable because well, I have a fiance who's a
Speaker 1: real estate developer, like fully a real estate developer, and
Speaker 1: but he's produced movies and he's and he's produced twelve
Speaker 1: movies like with people that all actors and actresses that
Speaker 1: you know, and he's won a Peabody And I always
Speaker 1: laugh because, well he'll shoot me in like the bathtub
Speaker 1: doing something. I'm like the like the Sprayer and like
Speaker 1: we call it a Bathtub Callers, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: like he's like I have a Peabody, but I'll never
Speaker 1: be more proud of any project than Bathtub Caller I was,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: So it's just.
Speaker 1: Funny that he's like a civilian like your husband. But
Speaker 1: like also he's won Tony's It's just funny, like that's
Speaker 1: not it's a real estate developer, he's not. And now
Speaker 1: he's producing a YouTube series for me because I asked
Speaker 1: him to. And it's just funny because he's just like
Speaker 1: this conservative Boston guy and like there he has like
Speaker 1: produced movies with all kinds of people that you know
Speaker 1: it could have been.
Speaker 2: I mean I love that, Like I mean for me,
Speaker 2: like when I was growing up, it was like you
Speaker 2: pick a lane and you stick with it. And like
Speaker 2: I love that Justin has done like all these different
Speaker 2: things and like yeah, he went to law school, but
Speaker 2: then now he's producing Broadway like it's just how do
Speaker 2: you get from that to that? Like, I just love you.
Speaker 2: It's very inspiring to you know, not put yourself in
Speaker 2: a box like that. I'm not I'm not as good
Speaker 2: at it. I feel like, Okay, I do this thing.
Speaker 2: This is what people expect me to do, and that's
Speaker 2: what I'm trying to do really well. And I just
Speaker 2: love that. There's and sounds like your fiance is the
Speaker 2: same way. Like that, there's that desire and that I
Speaker 2: don't know, I do this sort of a sense like
Speaker 2: risk taking and like, yeah, but I don't like the
Speaker 2: daredevil things.
Speaker 1: Like I think it's because you put you just you
Speaker 1: didn't land. You just evolved into the right box. And
Speaker 1: he started off, you know, with his parents' expectations were
Speaker 1: what he was supposed to do, go to law school,
Speaker 1: who he thought he was, and he that's not the
Speaker 1: box he wants to be. And he's always looked at
Speaker 1: the other box, but like hasn't thought it applied to
Speaker 1: him because of the road he I think it's just different.
Speaker 1: I'm in the right box, like I do whatever I
Speaker 1: want anytime I want, But he is always looking over
Speaker 1: at that creative box. I think it sounds like that
Speaker 1: to me, just from not knowing nothing of the situation,
Speaker 1: you're very very your gay rights activist, you're a gay
Speaker 1: marriage activist, And I didn't realize how I mean, in
Speaker 1: my periphery that's been there, that you've been involved in that,
Speaker 1: but certainly not as strongly as I've read about now.
Speaker 1: And I'm really interested in that about you, how you
Speaker 1: like really that's been so important, Like you could be
Speaker 1: in a relationship, you could do whatever you want.
Speaker 3: You didn't.
Speaker 1: It didn't have to be your cause. So I'm curious
Speaker 1: about the trajectory to get to that.
Speaker 2: Well, just to answer your first question, I mean, I
Speaker 2: growing up in Albuquerque as a closet a gay kid
Speaker 2: was not easy. It wasn't. It was a pretty conservative
Speaker 2: place when I first was living there. It's certainly become
Speaker 2: a lot more progressive now, but I was it was
Speaker 2: a place that I was really looking forward to getting
Speaker 2: out of, and so as soon as I could, I
Speaker 2: moved to New York to study theater. My parents are
Speaker 2: very supportive of that, and that's sort of where I,
Speaker 2: you know, blossom to do who I was. That was
Speaker 2: amongst a community of people that made me feel very
Speaker 2: comfortable about being myself and talking about things that I
Speaker 2: never felt I could talk about before. So that was
Speaker 2: instrumental in me becoming, you know, the person I am.
Speaker 2: Really Truly, theater saved in my life that way, because
Speaker 2: it was a community that was built in that supported
Speaker 2: me and I. Uh. But as far as like activism
Speaker 2: and you know, fighting for marriage equality, that's really something
Speaker 2: that my husband justin instilled in me. You know, when
Speaker 2: he and I first met, he was still in law school,
Speaker 2: but he was working on the Proposition eight case. The
Speaker 2: Proposition eight was the proposition that outlawed same sex marriage
Speaker 2: in California, and he was working for the nonprofit that
Speaker 2: was that was funding the lawsuit to you know, debunk that.
Speaker 2: And so when Modern Family first started, his friends were like,
Speaker 2: you need to watch this show. It's like a real
Speaker 2: pop culture touchstone for exactly what's happening in the country
Speaker 2: right now. And like, I think it'd be really great things.
Speaker 2: It's gonna do great things for marriage equality. And so
Speaker 2: this fight you're in, and he's like, I'm just so
Speaker 2: busy with law school, you know, I don't have time.
Speaker 2: Finally he watched the pilot and that same day he
Speaker 2: went to the gym and I happened to be at
Speaker 2: the gym as well, and so we ran it to
Speaker 2: each other at the locker in the locker room, We're
Speaker 2: both fully clothed, I promise, and so he stopped me
Speaker 2: in the locker room. He was like, I just want
Speaker 2: to tell you. You know, I watched the pilot and
Speaker 2: basically said all the things that he wanted to say
Speaker 2: about how important he thought the show was going be
Speaker 2: for this thing he was involved in. And it's so
Speaker 2: funny because I, you know, I was very touched by
Speaker 2: him being so open about that, but I was also like, oh,
Speaker 2: you're cute. What's her name? How old are you? Like
Speaker 2: I was getting all the important information right, and we
Speaker 2: ended up exchanging numbers, and he asked me out on
Speaker 2: a date and I sure, no. I asked him out
Speaker 2: on the date and he said why I have a boyfriend.
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, well I'm not doing this. Like
Speaker 2: he's like, we can go out for drainings sin his friends.
Speaker 2: I was like, I have enough friends, and I kind
Speaker 2: of just left it there right. But after after a while,
Speaker 2: he broke up with this boyfriend and we got together.
Speaker 2: And so when we actually started dating, you know, I
Speaker 2: kind of absorbed all this passion for you know, activism
Speaker 2: that he sort of just you know, like kind of
Speaker 2: naturally admitted. And I was very inspired by him. And
Speaker 2: we were in this huge fight for marriage equality, and like, yes,
Speaker 2: I was just starting to date this guy, but this
Speaker 2: was the cause that I deeply cared about, and you know,
Speaker 2: we both talked about wanting to be married someday, and
Speaker 2: I just you know, he really he really kind of
Speaker 2: was a driving force behind my initiation into like becoming
Speaker 2: an activist, and he helped me set up my foundation
Speaker 2: and he was very active in that as well. It's
Speaker 2: so funny because like by the time I was in
Speaker 2: the fifth season of Modern Family and Eric's character, my
Speaker 2: character were wanted to get married. A lot of the
Speaker 2: writers from Modern Family were in communication with my husband
Speaker 2: because he was sort of on the inside, and they
Speaker 2: were like, is this actually going to happen, because they
Speaker 2: weren't going to break stories for the season of us
Speaker 2: getting married if marriage equality wasn't going to be legalized
Speaker 2: in California. Because these characters lived in the same world
Speaker 2: that we all live in, you know, it's not We're
Speaker 2: not in like an alternate universe. They needed this thing
Speaker 2: to happen. So Justin was very kind of he was
Speaker 2: like this inside mole, like, well, this is what we're
Speaker 2: talking about in DC and to sort of tie this
Speaker 2: story up. This sort of like beautiful, like full circle
Speaker 2: moment of it all was in the episode where Eric
Speaker 2: and I decide to get married. There's a point where
Speaker 2: I'm watching at Bork as Mitchell, my character Mitchell. I'm
Speaker 2: watching on my computer the celebration of the proposition eight
Speaker 2: being overturned, and I'm watching on TV and you can
Speaker 2: see and on the computer screen the a Fur which
Speaker 2: is the company that Justin worked for, that the nonprofit.
Speaker 2: You could see their signs up in the air. And
Speaker 2: it was just this like beautiful moment. It's like, I'm
Speaker 2: watching as this character who's gonna get married on television,
Speaker 2: and I'm watching my fiance at that point on that
Speaker 2: the screen is celebrating in real life.
Speaker 1: It was just so meta, very wow, that's very cool,
Speaker 1: and I can't I have to bring up that. I
Speaker 1: just you know, my daughter's turning thirteen on Monday, and
Speaker 1: you know, when something happens at school that's challenging, it
Speaker 1: is like it's traumatic, you know, something that's like bullying
Speaker 1: or being people being mean, or she's not good at
Speaker 1: a sport. I can't imagine the try. I don't think
Speaker 1: the trauma of living in secret in high school is
Speaker 1: discussed enough. Like it's got to be so tense every
Speaker 1: second of the day, living a lie that you're like
Speaker 1: you don't even know, like from what you're eating, to
Speaker 1: what you're reading, to what you're wearing, to like you're
Speaker 1: living a double life.
Speaker 3: It's so scary, well.
Speaker 2: The very formative years, and you know, if you can't
Speaker 2: sort of be yourself, I mean, what does that do
Speaker 2: to those you know? It does stunt you in a
Speaker 2: lot of ways. But also I hate to say things
Speaker 2: a character building because I was like, I'm not I
Speaker 2: would have preferred it these year routes. Yeah, but you know,
Speaker 2: I am who I am today because of a lot
Speaker 2: of things that happened. I can't you know, yeah, truly no, but.
Speaker 1: Still but it's sometimes I'm sure you walk on eggshells
Speaker 1: about certain things that are in your body and your DNA.
Speaker 3: Because of that.
Speaker 1: Like me, I'm Type A and I'm always neurotic and
Speaker 1: I'm always obsessing, and it's because of my craziness in
Speaker 1: my household. Like you know, so it's whatever it is,
Speaker 1: what it is that happened, but we can only do
Speaker 1: what we can for our kids. And your surrogacy story
Speaker 1: is really interesting, Like that is a story that listen.
Speaker 1: I know people magazine wrote about it, what you know,
Speaker 1: and that's great, but like I don't think that most
Speaker 1: people really know about that interesting story about your husband.
Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, so justin my husband had had cancer
Speaker 2: at a very young age and before he started chemotherapy,
Speaker 2: his his parents froze his sperm. Like it it's like
Speaker 2: a really weird thing. He was thirteen at the time,
Speaker 2: thirteen or fourteen, and you know, he goes to like
Speaker 2: a sperm bake with his parents and like goes into
Speaker 2: a room and does his thing and then comes out like, okay,
Speaker 2: let's go get a hamburger, like you know, you're a kid.
Speaker 2: It was just there. He's like it was in hindsight,
Speaker 2: he was like that was an insane thing. But thank
Speaker 2: god because you know, years, years and years later he
Speaker 2: needs someone that he wants to have kids with who
Speaker 2: is me. And you know, we test his his sperm
Speaker 2: to to see how how it's doing and the stuff
Speaker 2: that he has now is NOBLINO. So we look at
Speaker 2: the stuff from you know, when he was thirteen years old,
Speaker 2: and of course it's like megasporm because it's from a
Speaker 2: teenager r And so that's what we used to to
Speaker 2: conceive our first kid. And that's also one of the
Speaker 2: reasons why we wanted to work with a surrogate, because
Speaker 2: we sort of wanted to honor that choice that his
Speaker 2: parents made. And that really kind of beautiful, like I mean,
Speaker 2: who thinks that far ahead?
Speaker 1: But they don't mix it together ever, they don't mix
Speaker 1: two sperms together, and you know, you can't what I.
Speaker 2: Think that was like the older term for like you know,
Speaker 2: the spinner, but like now what you can do and
Speaker 2: a lot of my friends did and we tried as well,
Speaker 2: is you you you know, you get your eggs from
Speaker 2: a donor and you split them in half, and Justin
Speaker 2: took one half and I took the other. And then
Speaker 2: you sort of see, you know, which eggs are most viable,
Speaker 2: and you can take one egg from you know, this parent,
Speaker 2: one egg from this parent and put them both in
Speaker 2: the surrogate and then hopefully both will take and you
Speaker 2: have twins. And so like you know, and once genetically
Speaker 2: connected to one parent, one genetically connected to another. So
Speaker 2: we tried that initially, and only Justin's took that, you know,
Speaker 2: that mega sperm from thirteen. Uh yeah, very competitive, So
Speaker 2: that's the only egg that actually it took. So we
Speaker 2: only had one kid at a time. But we tried
Speaker 2: at the beginning to go for twins and just say, like,
Speaker 2: you know, it's just we always wanted to and let's
Speaker 2: just do it and get it over with.
Speaker 3: But what is it like to be a gay father
Speaker 3: in Hollywood?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: What is that? Does it?
Speaker 1: Does it require less explanation to your kids about other
Speaker 1: mommy and daddies you know, have different types of relationships
Speaker 1: and or no, because you're in La, Like what is
Speaker 1: that actually?
Speaker 2: Like well, I mean, Beckett's a little too young to
Speaker 2: still be talking about it, but like we have, Justin
Speaker 2: and I have both circled around this conversation before, like, well,
Speaker 2: when it gets to that point and it's age appropriate,
Speaker 2: how are we going to discuss it? Because he Beckett
Speaker 2: is maybe three in July, okay, our youngest. Yeah, we're
Speaker 2: almost on the age where we started to ask questions.
Speaker 2: But you know, he's out of preschool right now. We're
Speaker 2: the only gay couple there. So and that's just where
Speaker 2: he's at right now. But I can imagine, you know,
Speaker 2: I just look back to like how I grew up
Speaker 2: and in Albuquerque there was no same sex couples at all.
Speaker 2: That there's like, definitely, it's a more diverse world we're
Speaker 2: living in, first of all. But then La and you know,
Speaker 2: we go to New York a lot, and we spend
Speaker 2: a lot of our time there. You know, we are
Speaker 2: our main places that we reside happened to be these
Speaker 2: very you know, liberal places where you know, there's obviously
Speaker 2: he's going to be exposed to so many more things
Speaker 2: than I was as a kid, So I think it
Speaker 2: will be easier. I think that, you know, there's certainly
Speaker 2: more resources. I was just looking for books when I
Speaker 2: was you know, when we were expecting our second kid,
Speaker 2: to read to my older son about like, you know,
Speaker 2: you're going to become a big brother. But like all
Speaker 2: the books talked about mommy and daddy and what's growing
Speaker 2: in mommy's belly is like we don't have that's on
Speaker 2: our situation. So you know, there's still space for us
Speaker 2: to like find ways to educate our children about you know,
Speaker 2: alternate you know, lifestyles and in alternate ways to conceive
Speaker 2: and expand our family. I think that there's definitely a
Speaker 2: space there for that. So I have a lot of
Speaker 2: friends who have kids who are a little older than mine,
Speaker 2: and they're going to school and they their classmates are
Speaker 2: non binary, They're going to different pronunts and for them,
Speaker 2: this thing that I still trip over, even as someone
Speaker 2: who's so passionate about the LGBTQ community and forwarding momentum,
Speaker 2: like I still have trouble. I still trip up on
Speaker 2: my pronouns and I'm totally working on it still. And
Speaker 2: my friends who are trans or non binary are very
Speaker 2: generous with me and they're always gently correcting me. But
Speaker 2: you know, the kids, these kids that are growing up
Speaker 2: now that it slips off their coming so easily and
Speaker 2: they don't have a problem with it, right, And that's
Speaker 2: incredibly encouraging, and I'm just I'm grateful. I think in
Speaker 2: that way there is forward momentum and that the world
Speaker 2: is in some really safe hands with them. So yeah,
Speaker 2: I just hope we can continue to move forward that
Speaker 2: way totally.
Speaker 1: Cocaine Bear is something that your husband found for you.
Speaker 1: Can you tell that story just briefly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well he's Justin has access to my Instagram and
Speaker 2: Twitter because I I'm not great at it. I am
Speaker 2: present on it, but sometimes we'll sneak on and post
Speaker 2: things for me and I don't even realize he's done it.
Speaker 2: And when Elizabeth Banks was announcing that she was directing
Speaker 2: Cocaine Bear, she tweeted, you know, I'm directing this movie
Speaker 2: called Cocaine Beer. Who wants to be in it? And
Speaker 2: so Justin, for my Twitter account volunteered me, oh as myself.
Speaker 2: What this was, I don't know, like twenty twenty one,
Speaker 2: it was like three months before she started filming, okay,
Speaker 2: And so I did a phone call from her right away.
Speaker 2: We're old friend, I've known her for twenty years, and
Speaker 2: she just sort of launches into this conversation, assuming that
Speaker 2: obviously I had sent out this tweet, and I have
Speaker 2: no idea what the fuck she's talking about. She's like, so, yeah,
Speaker 2: we're shooting to see in Ireland, and like I was like,
Speaker 2: is she on drugs? Like what is what's happening? She's
Speaker 2: just rambling about this coke. I have no idea what
Speaker 2: she's talking about, and so I kind of back her
Speaker 2: up and I get like, I realized that Justin has
Speaker 2: done this, and I was like, oh, well, ironically the
Speaker 2: movie sounds really fun. I was like, can you send
Speaker 2: me the script? And so I read read the script
Speaker 2: on like three pages and I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: absolutely one doing this movie. It's ridiculous. And you know,
Speaker 2: Justin when we're at the premiere, he was like, I
Speaker 2: can't believe I got you this film. And I then
Speaker 2: remember because I kind of forgot that he had volunteered
Speaker 2: me via Twitter.
Speaker 3: That's me And what is the film?
Speaker 2: Uh, it's it's a it's well, it's it's called Cocaine Bear.
Speaker 2: It's exactly what it sounds like. It's kind of based
Speaker 2: on the true story about this bear who found this
Speaker 2: cocaine that was abandoned by these drug lords and in
Speaker 2: the woods and eight copious amounts of it. And in
Speaker 2: real life, the bear died like when it's cardiac arrest
Speaker 2: and died, but Liz Banks and the writer reimagined what
Speaker 2: it would have been if the bear had not died.
Speaker 2: I went on a killing spirit instead, and it's sort
Speaker 2: of this very I have not heard of Cocaine Bert
Speaker 2: about the no is that bad? You're literally the only
Speaker 2: person going.
Speaker 1: Don't be insulted because I don't know so many things,
Speaker 1: but I read about every person that comes on here,
Speaker 1: and I never pretend that I know something I don't, so.
Speaker 2: I'm It's just it's so funny because like even like
Speaker 2: my my it would be when the trailer came out,
Speaker 2: it became like this kind of like viral thing that
Speaker 2: everyone was sharing, Like all these people who I don't
Speaker 2: know anything about my work, We're like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: are you in that movie Cocaine?
Speaker 3: But I was like, I all know everything about it.
Speaker 1: He'd be embarrassed, but you have no idea the number
Speaker 1: of things that I the things that I know are useless,
Speaker 1: and then things that everybody knows about I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm always late to parties.
Speaker 2: Don't you worry about it. I'm just it's like literally
Speaker 2: like my my like high school teacher from you know,
Speaker 2: years ago, was like I knew about it. I was like,
Speaker 2: how does everyone know about this film? It's a ridiculous film.
Speaker 2: It's it's really I didn't know.
Speaker 1: That Every Kiss Began with K was about the letter K.
Speaker 1: Every Kiss Begins Okay, I didn't know it was about
Speaker 1: like you know that those about the letter K at
Speaker 1: the beginning of every kiss.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that. I learned that at the mall.
Speaker 2: Last year, and I didn't like.
Speaker 1: I just thought, just kjew just every kiss begins a K.
Speaker 1: Jewelers like every I don't know. I never thought about it.
Speaker 1: I just never knew. And someone said, yeah, because it's K,
Speaker 1: it's okay at the beginning of a kiss.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that. I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I still don't know if it's a gift or a gift.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if it's the gig or the
Speaker 1: jig is up and the meeting.
Speaker 2: I don't know me.
Speaker 3: I don't know me too, and I don't know if
Speaker 3: it's the gig is up or the jig.
Speaker 2: But wait, did you know that? Did you know that
Speaker 2: lies in Maneli was beouty Garland's daughter. Yes, why because
Speaker 2: so many people have to like, like, oh, that's like
Speaker 2: an AHA moment for them. I was like, are you
Speaker 2: kidding me? Get out of here. I think Justin most
Speaker 2: pretty recently realized that. He's like, oh, I didn't put
Speaker 2: that together.
Speaker 3: You know what the other one there's another one like that?
Speaker 1: Well, but every gay man knows that that Gloria Vanderbilt
Speaker 1: is Anderson Cooper's.
Speaker 2: Mom, Anderson Cooper's mom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's a big one though, that that's like
Speaker 1: an iconic one. Yeah, that's really funny. That's really funny.
Speaker 2: And then I've been in Anderson's house and like in
Speaker 2: the Hampton's which is Gloria's old summer hall, and there's
Speaker 2: like paint you knows she's also a really fantastic painter.
Speaker 2: And he has all these paintings that his mom did
Speaker 2: and with her signature at the bottom. And she had
Speaker 2: the glory event about jeans that had her signature in
Speaker 2: the pocket. Oh my god, it's the signature. That's the signature.
Speaker 3: I lived for those.
Speaker 1: But I'll give you I'll do a circle back for you.
Speaker 1: I've been to his fire house townhouse in New York
Speaker 1: City at Andy Cone's book party, where he has a
Speaker 1: large bear that is not He's probably on cocaine. Also,
Speaker 1: he has a large bear, a large animal. I think
Speaker 1: it's a bear, isn't it? Have you ever seen it?
Speaker 2: I actually haven't been in the fire.
Speaker 1: Oh he has like a giant animal, and I'm pretty
Speaker 1: i'd be willing to bet it was a bear. I
Speaker 1: got a text, Andy, Wow, I'm so glad to meet you,
Speaker 1: and I'm getting You know, when I meet people like
Speaker 1: you who are smart and interesting and so talented and
Speaker 1: like who I respect, I get more. Of course, I
Speaker 1: have to put it on me. I get more proud
Speaker 1: of myself.
Speaker 3: I've been interested.
Speaker 1: I've been interviewing really interesting men lately, and I think
Speaker 1: I might be finding a niche like Andrew McCarthy was
Speaker 1: so interesting, and then David Arquette I knew so little
Speaker 1: about him, and I'm finding it somehow.
Speaker 3: Every week.
Speaker 1: It's becoming this theme where I'm interviewing these like interesting
Speaker 1: male actors that I respect and admire and like are
Speaker 1: so deep and interesting. So I'm getting I'm liking that.
Speaker 1: I'm finding this little corner.
Speaker 2: Ah, that's very kind of you put me in there
Speaker 2: some categories. Then you've never seen all three of us
Speaker 2: in the same place, though, so we could be I
Speaker 2: never have.
Speaker 1: But I don't know how much you know about Andrew McCarthy.
Speaker 1: He's fascinating, and I like that, like you know, and
Speaker 1: all and a lot of the men are like not
Speaker 1: the types that would go on to this kind of pot.
Speaker 1: You know that what they would think this podcast is.
Speaker 1: So I'm feeling like it's better. It's good for me
Speaker 1: because I'm getting a little street cred in this little
Speaker 1: space of people that I take that I admire as
Speaker 1: like serious actors who aren't going to fuck it out
Speaker 1: and do stupid, fluffy, cheesy podcasts, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So I'm getting excited, like ironically, wait.
Speaker 2: Do you know that I'm about to play a podcast? Oh?
Speaker 3: Great, what's it about?
Speaker 2: So I'm actually really excited to have similar conversations with people.
Speaker 2: It's it's called Dinners on Me and I take a
Speaker 2: The first season is all people I know him love,
Speaker 2: But I take a friend out to a dinner at
Speaker 2: a great restaurant. Obviously, we talked about the food in
Speaker 2: the restaurant, something I'm very passionate about. I wrote a cookbook,
Speaker 2: so we talk about the restaurant itself. But then it
Speaker 2: ends up just being a conversation that's about like, you know,
Speaker 2: what are you working on now? And more about stuff
Speaker 2: like this, like what we're talking about right? And the
Speaker 2: first season I have it started the first episode me
Speaker 2: and Julie bonen Uh a little reading nighting with my
Speaker 2: my on screen sister from Modern Family, and then Jesse
Speaker 2: Williams from Gray's Anatomy, who I just wrapped a play
Speaker 2: with in New York, nac Nash. We have Kristen Bell
Speaker 2: fed Armiston Ross. It's really it's been, it's been really great.
Speaker 2: So it's called Dinners on Me and it's I think
Speaker 2: launching on May twenty third.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm gonna listen to Congratulations, thank You. That could
Speaker 1: be the first podcast I've ever listened to because I
Speaker 1: like the concept. Yeah, I love the concept thank you Thanks.
Speaker 1: One day when you've flush through all your other podcasts
Speaker 1: you're doing. I have a podcast called Rewives and in
Speaker 1: the beginning everyone thought it was Paul my fiance just
Speaker 1: we have a very similar you and I like with
Speaker 1: our partner. He was like, you have to be doing
Speaker 1: a rewatch. You have to be doing a rewatch. Everyone's
Speaker 1: doing rewatches. And I'm like, I don't want to like
Speaker 1: break down the show, like it's not my personality and
Speaker 1: I and He's like, well, people want to hear from
Speaker 1: he called me, he said Tom Brady about the game.
Speaker 1: But I found my way in which was to have
Speaker 1: really really successful, intelligent people on that may not have
Speaker 1: even watched. And we have this conversation, like what you're
Speaker 1: talking about about this scene, but we end up talking
Speaker 1: about life and relationships and Finela, we're not talking about
Speaker 1: trashy reality TV.
Speaker 3: We end up talking about dynamics.
Speaker 1: So it has become wildly successful.
Speaker 3: Like crazy.
Speaker 1: If you want to come on sometime, you'll enjoy it
Speaker 1: because it takes it off you. You end up talking
Speaker 1: more about you through something crazy thing that happened on
Speaker 1: the show that has nothing to do with you, but
Speaker 1: it's actually pretty interesting. You'll lie if you want to,
Speaker 1: so at some point I'll have them ask you if
Speaker 1: you want to do it.
Speaker 3: You might enjoy it. Awesome. Well, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: I'm so I'm really grateful. It was such a good
Speaker 1: and now I know you and I.
Speaker 2: Love I know, I like you.
Speaker 1: Thank you and love to your family and your kids
Speaker 1: and your husband and only amazing things. And I can't
Speaker 1: wait to hear what happens.
Speaker 3: To you next. Now I know this is all about you.
Speaker 1: I've been reading about you all morning.
Speaker 2: Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.
Speaker 3: Of course, have a wonderful day.
Speaker 2: I love to see it.
Speaker 1: So that was really nice because I respect Jesse Tyler
Speaker 1: Ferguson as a real actor. And as I said to him,
Speaker 1: I've started to think about the evolution of this podcast,
Speaker 1: and I remember having having Hillary Clinton on and being
Speaker 1: nervous and going to like another location to make sure
Speaker 1: the tech was perfect, and nobody really intimidates me. Now
Speaker 1: there have been people where their publishers are like, they're
Speaker 1: a little bit of a combudge and they might be
Speaker 1: a little difficult, And everybody has been great because I
Speaker 1: think I have a level of respect from them, and
Speaker 1: it just is making me respect myself more for the
Speaker 1: path that I've been on that I didn't want things
Speaker 1: to be sort of low hanging fruit, trashy ratting people
Speaker 1: out in the press, like just to get click clicks,
Speaker 1: and we don't.
Speaker 3: Do that at all.
Speaker 1: I've just wanted it to be really natural and really
Speaker 1: and I hate to say cheesy things like safe space,
Speaker 1: but just like a place where a conversation about who
Speaker 1: they really are is gonna happen, it doesn't matter where
Speaker 1: it goes. So I'm really really excited, and I'm just
Speaker 1: it's been this little niche of like these interesting, well
Speaker 1: respected actor males that are so smart, So that could
Speaker 1: be one of my little pockets.
Speaker 3: I like it