Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: From New York City, the only city in America. It's
Speaker 2: the show that invented news.
Speaker 3: This is The Daily Show with your host Calpen.
Speaker 2: Welcome to The Daily Show.
Speaker 3: I'm Cowpen and it's Taylor Swift's birthday. Finally, finally, a
Speaker 3: day where everyone can celebrate her.
Speaker 2: It's about time.
Speaker 3: All right, we got a great show for you tonight,
Speaker 3: So let's get into the headlines.
Speaker 2: Let's not.
Speaker 3: Let's begin with the twenty twenty four presidential race, a
Speaker 3: decision that will come down to how deeply Americans hold
Speaker 3: the very democracy that sustands our society.
Speaker 2: And also stuff like.
Speaker 4: This tonight, the former president Donald Trump fundraising off his
Speaker 4: mugshot again. He's now offering people the chance to buy
Speaker 4: this quote historic gift just in time for Christmas.
Speaker 5: Mugshot edition.
Speaker 4: That's what they call it digital trading cards, and if
Speaker 4: you buy forty seven of them, you will get a
Speaker 4: piece of the suit Trump war when his mugshot was taken.
Speaker 4: Now to do all of that, it will run you
Speaker 4: about four six hundred dollars.
Speaker 6: My last two Trump digital trading card collection sold out
Speaker 6: in just hours. And now I'm back with my latest
Speaker 6: series called the Mugshot Edition.
Speaker 7: It is an.
Speaker 6: Authentic piece of the suit I wore when I took
Speaker 6: that now famous mugshot. And it was a great suit,
Speaker 6: believe me, a really good suit. So we'll cut up
Speaker 6: and you're going to get a piece of it. I'll
Speaker 6: be autographing some of them. A true collector's item. This
Speaker 6: is something to give to your family, to your kids
Speaker 6: and grandchildren.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, what a perfect gift for the dad.
Speaker 2: You stopped talking to.
Speaker 3: I wish that I loved anything as much as Trump
Speaker 3: loves scamming his own supporters.
Speaker 2: And look, if you're thinking, oh.
Speaker 3: This isn't funny, He's tricking people out of their hard
Speaker 3: earned money for pieces of fabric from indicted men's warehouse,
Speaker 3: Let's be honest. Okay, It's not like this money was
Speaker 3: gonna otherwise end up in a roth Ira. It was
Speaker 3: either an NFT of Trump or a second pet snake.
Speaker 3: In fact, the popularity of these NFTs makes me think
Speaker 3: that Biden should run.
Speaker 2: This video as a campaign ad, because you can afford
Speaker 2: to rite.
Speaker 3: If you can afford to blow five grand on a
Speaker 3: piece of a suit with mustard stains, the economy must
Speaker 3: be doing pretty good, and I'm I.
Speaker 2: Will I will confess something to y'all.
Speaker 3: I actually think these are all really pretty cool cards.
Speaker 2: Trump as a soldier, Trump with life and.
Speaker 3: Hands, Trump as a robot.
Speaker 2: But like, why don't.
Speaker 3: Any of these cards show off his amazing policy accomplishments,
Speaker 3: Like where's a card showing Trump tackling a doctor who's
Speaker 3: about to perform an abortion? Like where's the one of
Speaker 3: him heroically catapulting a refugee child far away from his family?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Was that too much for you?
Speaker 3: Or how about one of him patriotically lighting a tiki
Speaker 3: torch for a neo Nazi.
Speaker 2: Ah, Yeah, those was the days, y'all, Those was the days.
Speaker 2: Second term is gonna be great.
Speaker 3: All right, let's move on from something that's destroying America
Speaker 3: to something that's destroying the whole world. Climate change very
Speaker 3: uplifting for you tonight. I'm telling you, everyone knows that
Speaker 3: it's time to stop talking and do something about the
Speaker 3: climate crisis. And that's just what the nations of the
Speaker 3: world are talking about doing.
Speaker 4: And historic deal has just been announced that the cop
Speaker 4: Tour and Shake Climate Conference in Dubai. It urges nations
Speaker 4: so the first time to transition away from fossil fuels.
Speaker 8: So the most significant thing about this is that agreement
Speaker 8: to transition away from fossil fuels, and in the twenty
Speaker 8: eight years of these summits, this is the first time
Speaker 8: the final agreement actually uses the words fossil fuels.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 8: Other key points of this deal include a call to
Speaker 8: triple the amount of renewable energy sources worldwide by twenty
Speaker 8: thirty while relying less on fossil fuels, and achieve what's
Speaker 8: known as net zero carbon emissions globally by mid century.
Speaker 8: And in the end, these are just words on paper.
Speaker 8: What matters now is whether or not nations quickly cut
Speaker 8: their planet warming emissions.
Speaker 3: That's right, the world's nations pledged net zero emissions by
Speaker 3: twenty fifty, which is fantastic, But they also offered no
Speaker 3: plan to enforce it, which is not fantastic. This agreement
Speaker 3: is basically like when you tell a former coworker that
Speaker 3: you should.
Speaker 2: Get together sometime. Yeah, we should totally grab a drink.
Speaker 2: Definitely by twenty fifty.
Speaker 1: I'll take.
Speaker 3: Even holding the conference in one of the oil capitals
Speaker 3: of the world was a major for you to climate change.
Speaker 3: It's like celebrating Hanukkah at Kanye's house. Like, Look, I'm
Speaker 3: not saying Cop twenty eight was a bad idea itself,
Speaker 3: like people's instaposts look super fun, but maybe there should
Speaker 3: be some consequences for not achieving your goals aside from
Speaker 3: you know, like the whole world ending thing. Either way, look,
Speaker 3: congratulations Cop twenty eight. You may not have solved.
Speaker 2: The climate crisis, but.
Speaker 3: You didn't not not not solve it. And finally, let's
Speaker 3: talk about jerrymandering. It's the reason some congressional districts in
Speaker 3: America look like a rorshack test. Well, that one just
Speaker 3: looks like my kindergarten teacher yelling at me. Jerrymandering is
Speaker 3: when politicians draw districts to help their party win, because
Speaker 3: the alternative is winning on your ideas, and that's like
Speaker 3: way harder. With Congress so closely divided, control of the
Speaker 3: House could hinge on which party jerrymanders the best, which
Speaker 3: is why a court decision in New York could change everything.
Speaker 3: New York's highest court has thrown out the state's congressional map,
Speaker 3: a ruling scene as a major win for Democrats.
Speaker 9: The new maps to be drawn by the independent Redistricting
Speaker 9: Commission could give Democrats a shot to take back the
Speaker 9: US House High Court ruled last year that Democrats had
Speaker 9: unconstitutionally jerrymandered districts. A neutral court appointed special master drew
Speaker 9: new lines that help Republicans flip four seats last November,
Speaker 9: but judges today said those maps were only supposed to
Speaker 9: be temporary, and in a four to three vote, the
Speaker 9: Court of Appeals upheld a challenge and tossed out the
Speaker 9: current maps.
Speaker 3: That's right, New York's highest court is letting Democrats jerrymander again,
Speaker 3: which is not good for democracy unless it helps democrats
Speaker 3: protect democracy, in which case, being bad for democracy is
Speaker 3: good for democracy.
Speaker 2: I'm so confused.
Speaker 3: Oh my kindergarten teacher was right, I am stupid. The
Speaker 3: question is is it unethical for Democrats to engage in jerrymandering?
Speaker 3: And to debate this moral dilemma, we turned to Ronnie
Speaker 3: Chang and desie Lydek.
Speaker 2: Ronnie, let me actually start with you, should.
Speaker 3: Democrats be doing the thing they've always criticized Republicans for.
Speaker 7: Of course not cow and after that question and I
Speaker 7: mean no disrespect, but I've lost all respect for you,
Speaker 7: Like Trump says like Trump says about his sons. Two
Speaker 7: wrongs don't make a right. Okay. In the Olympics, when
Speaker 7: Russia guests caught doping, we punish them. We don't let
Speaker 7: every other country start doping. All that would do is
Speaker 7: create a world of athletes with tiny balls the size
Speaker 7: of sesame seats.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's a fair point, Dessie.
Speaker 10: What do you think, well, cal In my professional opinion,
Speaker 10: I think Ronnie should stop being such a little bitch.
Speaker 10: When your opponent plays dirty, you throw on your brass
Speaker 10: knuckles and punch him right in the sesame seeds. You
Speaker 10: don't stand there complaining about the rules. You take the
Speaker 10: rule book, you rip it in half. You show half
Speaker 10: of it down their throats and the other half up
Speaker 10: their butts, and then the whole book is in their
Speaker 10: stomach while your arms are still in there and you're
Speaker 10: just playing them like an accordion until you.
Speaker 5: Win back the house.
Speaker 2: Does he that's gross?
Speaker 5: Thank you?
Speaker 7: Okay. See, this is the problem with America. Okay. Every
Speaker 7: solution is just more of the same problem. That's how
Speaker 7: you end up with an app on your phone to
Speaker 7: tell you you're using your phone too much. You children,
Speaker 7: Where does this end?
Speaker 2: Does it?
Speaker 7: Where does it end?
Speaker 5: It doesn't end, Ronnie.
Speaker 10: In fact, why should Democrats stop at jerrymanderin hell? Stack
Speaker 10: the court, steal the election, go to third base during beetlejuice?
Speaker 5: Why do the Republican you need to have all the fun?
Speaker 2: DOESI? That is anarchy?
Speaker 5: Yeah, but they started it.
Speaker 1: Cal.
Speaker 10: It's like I said to that tow truck driver, if
Speaker 10: you're gonna take my car, I'm taking yours. My car
Speaker 10: was already attached, so now I got two cars.
Speaker 2: Path checks out.
Speaker 7: Cal. This is the slippery slope I'm talking about. Okay.
Speaker 7: This great nation that I've lived in on and off
Speaker 7: for a few years was founded on principles. And when
Speaker 7: we give up those principles, whatever they are, we give
Speaker 7: up on ourselves.
Speaker 2: It's a beautiful sentiment, Ronnie.
Speaker 10: Yeah, that's a beautiful sentiment.
Speaker 1: Ronnie had Man.
Speaker 5: Have just jerrymandered your box?
Speaker 7: Bitch? No, wha?
Speaker 1: What the hell?
Speaker 7: Who my box? Hey? Caw do something?
Speaker 3: Make me complet Tessilny can ride chang everybody?
Speaker 8: When did they come back?
Speaker 2: We discover Santa's terrible secret. So don't go away.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to the Daily Show. It's almost time for
Speaker 3: Santa's trip around the world. And if you've ever wondered
Speaker 3: how he makes all those toys, well the answer is
Speaker 3: a bit disturbing.
Speaker 7: Merry Christmas, Yeah, yeah, mayor Merry Christmas?
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 7: Why are you so skinny?
Speaker 9: Oh?
Speaker 2: Oh mpic, Santa's got a revenge body.
Speaker 1: Wait?
Speaker 2: Hey, what happened all the toys?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Listen, Santa, we have to talk. There are no toys.
Speaker 7: We don't have any money left for toys.
Speaker 2: Money, no, no, no, We make the toys.
Speaker 3: Get a whole little trains and dolls, we build for
Speaker 3: would and dreams and lead based paint.
Speaker 7: This is in the eighteen twenties anymore, old man. Okay,
Speaker 7: kids want iPads and game consoles and roadblocks whatever that is,
Speaker 7: and we need to buy that shit. Okay, you're gonna
Speaker 7: canna hammer out ps five.
Speaker 2: Of this, dude, what do you what do you say?
Speaker 7: I'm saying this workshop is a whole hopes. We've been
Speaker 7: borrowing money for seventy years to buy real toys that
Speaker 7: kids want, and now the bank is demanding repayment.
Speaker 1: Well, how much do we owe?
Speaker 2: Oh Jesus, holy shit, I'll have to sell my body.
Speaker 7: Okay, we don't have to go right to that.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, what if I kill myself for the insurance money?
Speaker 7: No, maybe, if you're gonna do that, you might as
Speaker 7: well sell your body and then kill yourself.
Speaker 1: That way you can get toys in the money.
Speaker 5: Jingle, jingle, Nicholas, it's the bank.
Speaker 2: Shit, it's the bank.
Speaker 7: Reps.
Speaker 1: We have more time.
Speaker 2: But if the bank know where we live, all the
Speaker 2: male just as North hold.
Speaker 5: Rays Santa, just stopping by to see where our money is.
Speaker 2: Well, it's coming, Okay, it's coming. We just need a
Speaker 2: little more time.
Speaker 5: Oh do you do you need a little more time?
Speaker 3: Okay, this is my fault.
Speaker 2: We just don't have the money.
Speaker 5: Oh okay, no problem. That's what collateral's for.
Speaker 10: Repo this leigh, turn this place into a cinemam and
Speaker 10: sell the elves to Apple.
Speaker 3: Listen, listen, missus bank, Please think of the children. You're
Speaker 3: gonna break their little hearts.
Speaker 1: Hey, what do we do with me?
Speaker 5: Shoot them? Sell them meat?
Speaker 7: Don't do that?
Speaker 2: Come on, what about the Christmas spirit?
Speaker 7: Wait? What's this?
Speaker 3: It's a list of which gift each good boy and
Speaker 3: girl is.
Speaker 2: Going to get this Christmas?
Speaker 5: Do you realize the insider trading we could do with
Speaker 5: this thing?
Speaker 10: Is that like super illegal, like they would ever arrest
Speaker 10: a finance executive.
Speaker 5: How about this? You give me this list and I
Speaker 5: give you more time to get our money.
Speaker 11: Okay, deal, And so Santa and as Mary Elf chopped
Speaker 11: up the body of the banking executor, the vetted to
Speaker 11: the raindeer, and Christmas was saved until next year.
Speaker 2: But that's next Year's probably married Christmas to one in all.
Speaker 3: When we come back, Mike Masamino will be joining me
Speaker 3: on the show Don't Go Away.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to the Daily Show.
Speaker 3: My guest tonight is a former NASA astronaut and New
Speaker 3: York Times bestselling author who's here to talk about his
Speaker 3: latest book, Moonshot, a NASA Astronaut's guide to Achieving the Impossible.
Speaker 3: Please welcome Mike Massimino. Man uh okay, I am.
Speaker 2: I am a huge.
Speaker 3: Space nerd okay. Most of my tattoos are space related
Speaker 3: from Voyager one on. I knew when I was backstage
Speaker 3: that I needed to like come up with very smart,
Speaker 3: engaging questions for you. You've been to space twice, and
Speaker 3: so I wrote a bunch of them down. But I
Speaker 3: just got to ask your help coolness to go to space.
Speaker 1: And it's pretty cool. Yes, cool. I would say the
Speaker 1: coolest part though, of it was getting a chance of spacewalk.
Speaker 1: It's pretty cool inside the spaceship you're doing some work
Speaker 1: and looking out the window, floating around. It's kind of cool.
Speaker 1: But you go outside in a space suit. Now the
Speaker 1: whole world opens up to you. You can see the
Speaker 1: planet and how beautiful it is. And when I first
Speaker 1: saw the planet from a spacewalk, you can kind of
Speaker 1: see it. It's an entire to you see the curvature
Speaker 1: of it. And I thought to myself, it's so beautiful.
Speaker 1: It's more beautiful than human eyes can withstand. I shouldn't
Speaker 1: be looking at this, and I actually turned my head,
Speaker 1: don't look at it. And then I said, you idiot,
Speaker 1: of course you're supposed to look at it. What you're
Speaker 1: gonna get here? So I looked again and I started.
Speaker 1: I just got overcome with emotion. I started to tear
Speaker 1: up a little bit cal and then I got petrified
Speaker 1: because if you introduced water into your space suit, it
Speaker 1: could cause a problem and there would be an investigation.
Speaker 1: And I have to admit that I would cry, and
Speaker 1: there's no crying in space. Your friends will make fun
Speaker 1: of you. But the third time I looked, the thought
Speaker 1: that went through my mind was this is a view
Speaker 1: from heaven. This is a heavenly view. And then it
Speaker 1: was replaced by another thought, which was, this is what
Speaker 1: heaven must look like. I think we're living in an
Speaker 1: absolute paradise. You can also see the thinness of the atmosphere.
Speaker 1: You turn about global warming. You know that atmosphere, that
Speaker 1: thin line. If you think of the Earth as an onion,
Speaker 1: that top thin layer of the onion is the size
Speaker 1: relationship of our atmosphere to the rest of our planet.
Speaker 1: That's the only thing that's keeping us alive.
Speaker 9: You know.
Speaker 1: You look the other direction, you see the earth here,
Speaker 1: and you look out here, and you see the darkness.
Speaker 1: Kind of cool, you see, star We checked out the neighborhood. Man,
Speaker 1: We've got nowhere to go. We've got to make this
Speaker 1: planet work.
Speaker 3: When you're I mean, when you're up there, Look, you
Speaker 3: give me chills when you were talking about that. When
Speaker 3: you look at the world. I think most of us,
Speaker 3: you know, we feel like things are kind of shitty
Speaker 3: right now. You know, there are a lot of problems. Yeah,
Speaker 3: do you have hope when you're up there and you
Speaker 3: look at things.
Speaker 2: It sounds like you only fall.
Speaker 1: At on the beauty. Yeah, absolutely, because I think you
Speaker 1: see the Earth the way it's supposed to be seen.
Speaker 1: From that vantage point, you just you just see a
Speaker 1: beautiful creation. And I had the sense, I really do
Speaker 1: believe we're living in a paradise.
Speaker 9: Now.
Speaker 1: People will mess it up, right. We do lots of
Speaker 1: bad things to each other, and there's a lot of
Speaker 1: bad stuff going on. But I think there is that
Speaker 1: possibility for happiness and love and beauty, and we should
Speaker 1: try to remember that every day. Every day I try
Speaker 1: to remember that view and apply it here on Earth.
Speaker 1: You know, whether I'm on the New York City subway
Speaker 1: or I'm looking at the ocean, you know, wherever it is,
Speaker 1: there's beauty everywhere.
Speaker 7: You.
Speaker 2: I was reading this.
Speaker 3: You got rejected from the NASA space program three times.
Speaker 3: Did you have a plan that at a certain point
Speaker 3: you were going to give up?
Speaker 2: Or how did you persevere thing?
Speaker 1: No, I'd still be trying now. I think I don't
Speaker 1: think I was first. So NASA puts out a call
Speaker 1: for astronaut applications every couple of years. They still do
Speaker 1: that for those who are interested. The first time I applied,
Speaker 1: I got a letter back that said no. Right, I
Speaker 1: applied again, and I got another le back a few
Speaker 1: years after that first time that said no with an
Speaker 1: exclamation point. But I kept try. A third time I
Speaker 1: got an interview. So the interview is not just an interview,
Speaker 1: but it's also a bunch of medical exams. And I
Speaker 1: was medically disqualified because of my eyesight. I couldn't pass
Speaker 1: the medical exam, the eye exam, and it was pretty
Speaker 1: disheartening because once you're disqualified, they said they won't even
Speaker 1: read my application again, and they didn't accept any medical procedures.
Speaker 1: But I found out about vision training, so little kids,
Speaker 1: when their eyes are still developing, if they have eye issues,
Speaker 1: they can go through training and improve their eye muscles
Speaker 1: in their vision. And I made an appointment with them,
Speaker 1: an optometrist, and she sees me sitting in a chair
Speaker 1: and she goes, I've never worked with an adult, And
Speaker 1: I said, doctor hopping, I can be sore mature. You
Speaker 1: won't know the difference. Please. I begged her to help me,
Speaker 1: and she did, and I was able to pick up
Speaker 1: a couple of lines just so I could try again.
Speaker 1: At least I couldn't submit again. And I got another interview,
Speaker 1: and then I got picked on the fourth trot, so
Speaker 1: I'd still be going at it.
Speaker 3: When I was in seventh strade, Yeah, I went to
Speaker 3: space Camp. It was the subtle manner at Space Camp.
Speaker 3: I wanted to be an astronaut and they told me
Speaker 3: there the whole vision thing at the time. At the
Speaker 3: time wore contact lenses, so I was like, oh, I
Speaker 3: guess I can't be an astronaut. And then later I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, also, I'm bad at science and math,
Speaker 3: so like that's probably yeah.
Speaker 1: The other party, I should never let things stop you
Speaker 1: from at least try, and you see that, you know,
Speaker 1: there you go.
Speaker 3: You recently, I think commended Congress for investigating UFOs or
Speaker 3: at least sort of all that. Whenever I see these
Speaker 3: stories on TV, I feel like everybody just thinks of
Speaker 3: like aliens coming down here, right, and no one ever
Speaker 3: talks about the difference between life that that seems to exist,
Speaker 3: Drake equation and all of that out there versus intelligent
Speaker 3: life and the possibility that intelligent life could have visited us.
Speaker 3: Can you walk us through what each of those things
Speaker 3: are and why there's so much hype around it.
Speaker 1: I think well, the the congressional thing with NASA has
Speaker 1: been doing is looking into UAPs. There used to be
Speaker 1: UFOs I kind of like UFO, yeah right, but now
Speaker 1: the UAP unidentified aerial phenomenon. And so they put together
Speaker 1: a pretty good committee on that, very very reputable people,
Speaker 1: and they came up with the finding that about ninety
Speaker 1: five percent of the sightings can be explained, but they're
Speaker 1: still that five percent we don't know what it is.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean it's ET coming to visit, you know,
Speaker 1: it's probably a weather phenomenon, or maybe some other aircraft
Speaker 1: they don't recognize, or a drone or something. So I
Speaker 1: think it's good to trying to find out what that
Speaker 1: five percent of whatever they don't know is yet that's
Speaker 1: flying around here. The intelligent life versus the signs of life.
Speaker 1: The intelligent life is like ET showing up. There's no
Speaker 1: real evidence of that happening yet, and we don't really
Speaker 1: have the ability to go that far to find anybody.
Speaker 1: So they got to come find us. We need, you know,
Speaker 1: they need whoever it is, they've got to come and
Speaker 1: find us. I think that day will probably happen sometime.
Speaker 1: It hasn't happened yet, but the search for life even
Speaker 1: within our own solar system, which I find very intriguing.
Speaker 1: We thought that, like, for example, the way out at
Speaker 1: the end of our solar system, some of the moons
Speaker 1: that are out there around Jupiter, we thought they were
Speaker 1: just frozen blocks of ice. And what we find is
Speaker 1: that they are warmer than we expected, and there's probably
Speaker 1: oceans underneath that ice, and we think that life began
Speaker 1: and the oceans here on our planet. So who knows
Speaker 1: what could be going on. There probably not any real
Speaker 1: life that we would think, or intelligent life, but even
Speaker 1: just those building blocks being that close to us, I
Speaker 1: think gives us hope that there's probably somebody else out there.
Speaker 1: There are billions of galaxies with billions of stars in each,
Speaker 1: most of which have multiple planets orbiting around those stars.
Speaker 1: I think, I can't imagine we're the only ones here
Speaker 1: in the universe. But we still haven't found each other yet.
Speaker 2: That's star as wedding. I mean, I hope we do
Speaker 2: in our life time.
Speaker 1: I'd be very excited when it happens. That's going to
Speaker 1: be big news.
Speaker 2: I wanted to ask you huge news. I mean, I
Speaker 2: was secretly just hoping you you roll in here like,
Speaker 2: all right, let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: No, I don't have in the program. I can tell
Speaker 1: you no I wish I could. No I have nothing
Speaker 1: like that. Oh that's fine, Well, big news man. I
Speaker 1: think it's hard to cover that one up. You know,
Speaker 1: we're going to find out about we know. I agree.
Speaker 3: I am not going to ask you how do you
Speaker 3: poop in space? Because that's childish. Yeah, I am going
Speaker 3: to ask you how do you poop in space? Because
Speaker 3: I'm genuinely interested.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's it's actually a pretty interesting process and requires
Speaker 1: a lot of training.
Speaker 2: Really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we would get trained, so we're doing to show
Speaker 1: up on your schedule. When you're going to fly in space.
Speaker 1: You get rendezvous training and robotics training and space there
Speaker 1: would be potty training, that's what they called it, potty training.
Speaker 1: And we had simular We had the Space Shuttle toilet
Speaker 1: that we would get trained on and in the simulator
Speaker 1: in the little training facility we had, we had the
Speaker 1: real toilet that you could actually practice pooping in because
Speaker 1: you want to practice everything, And we also had another
Speaker 1: another toilet next with that you wentn't poop in that
Speaker 1: was used to practice alignment because the key for pooping
Speaker 1: in space was getting a very small target. It's not
Speaker 1: a big flush toilet, Okay, It's a little opening, and
Speaker 1: you like open this little window to it and you look,
Speaker 1: you look down. It's very small, so you've got to
Speaker 1: be properly aligned.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Okay, So to practice that, this is where the instructors
Speaker 1: would lead the training for the area. You lock the door.
Speaker 1: There was a camera inside of this clan. You look
Speaker 1: at your whole Look, I can't I don't have nothing
Speaker 1: for you on aliens, but I've got this. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is the truth. These are the real deep dark secrets
Speaker 1: at VATSA. They want you to talk about UFOs because
Speaker 1: then what you know about this stuff. Okay, so this
Speaker 1: is real stuff. Okay. So you have to with this
Speaker 1: camera looking up right. You have a short circuit TV
Speaker 1: right there, a little TV, and you practice your alignment
Speaker 1: to make sure that you're right in the center of
Speaker 1: where that opening is. And then the instructors what they
Speaker 1: told us was memorize that body position because when you
Speaker 1: get to space, you want to you can't see what's
Speaker 1: going on. There's I got to be a camera down there.
Speaker 7: You have to.
Speaker 1: So what I remember was I'm writing a chopper. That's
Speaker 1: what I folly. I'm riding a chopper. And I replicated
Speaker 1: that in space, and we would get that training right
Speaker 1: to refresh us right before we'd go to the cape.
Speaker 1: Was very important. I was cueued into this cowboy. Very
Speaker 1: famous astronaut John Young, remember on your Lot went to
Speaker 1: the Moon. He flew in space six times as the
Speaker 1: first commander of the Shuttle. He walked on the Moon.
Speaker 1: Only twelve people walked on the Moon. He was still
Speaker 1: an active astronaut. He was in his late sixties when
Speaker 1: I joined NASA. I'm flying in a T thirty eight
Speaker 1: with him, just the two of us, and we got
Speaker 1: to know each other, and I asked him what was
Speaker 1: the What was the moon like? John and if ily
Speaker 1: worked up dinner? What was it like on the moon?
Speaker 1: And he says, Mike, I tell you the best thing
Speaker 1: about it is you can finally take a shit. You
Speaker 1: can finally take it. And I go, what you know?
Speaker 1: What's out about? He goes, Mike, go find out in space.
Speaker 1: You know your gravity helps us with a digestion. And
Speaker 1: you're floating around in zero gravity for a couple of
Speaker 1: days and you just can't move anything. You get on
Speaker 1: the moon, that one sixth gravity is just enough so
Speaker 1: you can let go.
Speaker 2: It's like very helpful advice, very important, very important. Your
Speaker 2: book is fantastic.
Speaker 3: I read it the day it came out. I would
Speaker 3: love for you to quickly talk about the thirty second roll.
Speaker 1: I thought that was right. Yeah, So thirty second role
Speaker 1: is when you make a mistake. You don't want to
Speaker 1: make mistakes, but you're are going to make mistakes. You
Speaker 1: don't want to ruminate over them for a long period
Speaker 1: of time. Take yourself out of living, you know, because
Speaker 1: you're so upset with yourself. But it's okay. I think
Speaker 1: to be upset. So what I learned in my training
Speaker 1: was when you make a mistake, and I use this
Speaker 1: in space, you make a mistake, oh man, that was
Speaker 1: a terrible mistake. You can feel upset, but cap it
Speaker 1: at thirty seconds. So thirty seconds to beat yourself up,
Speaker 1: call yourself names, just be brutal to yourself. Don't vocalize
Speaker 1: any of this because you'll scare the people next to you.
Speaker 1: Just keep it internally. But after that thirty seconds is over,
Speaker 1: it's over. You've had your little rant. It's time to
Speaker 1: move on.
Speaker 7: I had.
Speaker 3: I had an acting teacher throughout a similar rule. She
Speaker 3: would say, if you screw up an audition, and you
Speaker 3: will screw up many, give yourselves twenty four hours to
Speaker 3: get over it, because you know we're like super dramatic
Speaker 3: actors are crazy. We're just crazy, right, So you'd go
Speaker 3: three weeks beating yourself up over something. She's like, no,
Speaker 3: twenty four hours. It sounds like the thirty second rule
Speaker 3: is like perfect for actually smart scientists people.
Speaker 2: Rest of us are too self absorbed. We need a
Speaker 2: full twenty four hours. So thank you for sharing that
Speaker 2: for us.
Speaker 1: Try the thirty second I'm gonna I'm gonna try it.
Speaker 2: Mike Massive, everybody make thanks you, honey, what are you
Speaker 2: take a quick trank? King back right up for this
Speaker 2: from this coming.
Speaker 7: Thank you. This is really.
Speaker 2: That's our show for tonight.
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