1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,600 Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bombing with Eric Andre, the podcast where 2 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:10,840 Speaker 1: I talk with comedians, musicians, friends, chefs. 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 2: And known murderers convicted murderers. Actually, we have a lot 4 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 2: of them on the show. This episode, we featured three 5 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:19,319 Speaker 2: of my best drinking buddies, Nick Rutherford, Carl has and 6 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,920 Speaker 2: Cornell read some of my favorite standup comics. 7 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 3: They're my vacation and adventure buddies. We've all gone to 8 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:26,080 Speaker 3: the worst. 9 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 2: Open mics in the world together for the past twenty years, 10 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 2: and collectively we've had the most absurd, raunchiest nights. 11 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 3: Let's get into it oo Bombing. 12 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:43,320 Speaker 4: With Eric Andre. 13 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 5: We'll start with our worst bombing stories and then we'll 14 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 5: take turn saying the N word. Okay, I heard you 15 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 5: had a fuck. Do you want to kick it off 16 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 5: or do you want to Nick? Sure, I can hear 17 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 5: you have story? 18 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 6: Boom? 19 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm of. 20 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,839 Speaker 3: The century story. Yeah. 21 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:06,680 Speaker 4: Should I start now? 22 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:07,560 Speaker 3: We're recording? 23 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,320 Speaker 7: Oh yeah, yeah, were recording all right. So this was 24 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,400 Speaker 7: right when I started doing stand up comedy. I was 25 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 7: still in college and my ra, who was I was 26 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 7: kindly friendly with, she comes up, She's like, hey, knocks 27 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 7: on my dorm room, open the doors, Hey, I got 28 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 7: you a set some fifteen minutes. 29 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,679 Speaker 4: Come follow me. And I was like, okay, so I 30 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 4: walk with her. I follow her. We go to like 31 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:35,120 Speaker 4: the how people get booked from comedy shows all the time. 32 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:39,039 Speaker 7: Most of them start doing comedy, and I was just like, wow, 33 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 7: I'm a new comic. This sounds like an opportunity to shine, 34 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 7: you know. And I started walking to the little like 35 00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:48,240 Speaker 7: center they have. And as we start walking to this 36 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 7: little event center, I see signs. 37 00:01:52,160 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 4: All over for Soul Night, Like, surely this can't. 38 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 3: Be like a neo soul like an Eric or what. 39 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 4: Uh No, it was just black in general especial. Yes, yes, yes, 40 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:19,799 Speaker 4: Soul Night. 41 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:25,600 Speaker 7: I walk inside, following my ra, who wasn't black either. 42 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,640 Speaker 7: I don't know how she got this booking this. 43 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,920 Speaker 3: She's like, I got a guy, I got it. I 44 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 3: got the perfect guy for you. 45 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:37,080 Speaker 7: My brother, well, my name's Cornell too, so they probably 46 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:37,679 Speaker 7: didn't even bad. 47 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:45,359 Speaker 4: And I like that sounds great. I walk in and 48 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 4: it's full. It's packed. There's like three hundred people there 49 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 4: in the seats and. 50 00:02:51,280 --> 00:03:00,360 Speaker 7: On stage is spoken word poetry No Yeah, poetry slam 51 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:08,000 Speaker 7: CSU Northward poetry Slam going Down and they're loving it. 52 00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,919 Speaker 4: After that gospel choir comes. 53 00:03:10,639 --> 00:03:18,600 Speaker 7: Off and you're like perfect, yeah, yeah, you know it's 54 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:21,079 Speaker 7: so naive. Back then, I was just like, well, I'm 55 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 7: gonna get up there and kill all. This is gonna 56 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 7: be great. Comedy fits in line with this programming. So 57 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 7: gospel choir finishes, and then all these days like up 58 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,400 Speaker 7: next for some comedy. Here's Cornell read and I walk 59 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:46,640 Speaker 7: on stage immediately silent records. Yes, absolutely, I start telling 60 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 7: my first joke. Nothing, absolutely nothing. 61 00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 4: Remember the joke. 62 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 7: I don't remember the joke, but I do remember. It was, 63 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 7: what's the deal with black people. 64 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 3: Too many? 65 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 4: Cornell? 66 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 7: Hey, I'm glad you guys are here because no one's 67 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 7: out robbing my car right now. 68 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,599 Speaker 8: She just started doing Bernie Max sat from Jeff Comedy Jam. 69 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 4: Yeah, but I was very scared. 70 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 7: I was. 71 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,640 Speaker 6: I am scared, very scared. 72 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 7: So I started doing jokes and then they just start 73 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,159 Speaker 7: they're talking, they're not paying attention. They start heckling me 74 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,359 Speaker 7: like before I would I would start setting up a joke, 75 00:04:37,839 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 7: they would go like ha, before I even got to 76 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,719 Speaker 7: the punchline, and they're heckling like me like that. I was, 77 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,520 Speaker 7: you know, and I was like two years into it. 78 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 5: It doesn't sound like a heckle Well, that sounds like 79 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 5: they were having fun. 80 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,559 Speaker 4: What's your problem with black people? 81 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 6: That could kill? 82 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 5: Hell? 83 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 3: He was doing really well. 84 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 4: My favorite comedian. 85 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,280 Speaker 6: It's really mad at for some reason. 86 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:03,840 Speaker 7: Though they know, they're like trying to uh shut me up, 87 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:10,279 Speaker 7: like like uh off mocking me. And you know, I'm 88 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 7: so early on into comedy. I'm doing like, what's the 89 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,800 Speaker 7: deal with transformers? I mean, but that one robot transforms 90 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 7: into a tape player? What tap player? In the future 91 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 7: at least be a CD player? 92 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 4: You know that for sure? My a material for. 93 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 3: He's updated a little bit. 94 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:38,320 Speaker 7: So I'm doing these jokes and I'm still going even 95 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 7: though no one's giving me anything. 96 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:42,280 Speaker 4: I'm powering through. 97 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:47,160 Speaker 7: These people are legitimately trying to interfere with my set. 98 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 7: And I bring up one joke and this guy goes 99 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 7: like the haha before I get anywhere, and I look 100 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:58,039 Speaker 7: at him and he had one sleeve rolled up on 101 00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 7: his T shirt and and for some reason it sparked 102 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:05,279 Speaker 7: a memory in me. I got the feeling to riff, 103 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 7: to finally win this audience on my side. Yeah, yeah, 104 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:14,360 Speaker 7: And he had one sleeve rolled up and It reminded 105 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 7: me of the movie Sunset Park. I don't know if 106 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,080 Speaker 7: you've remember that movie, but it's like Ray Pearlman coaches 107 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 7: an inner city basketball team. 108 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 4: That movie. Yeah, it was not a hit, but it 109 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 4: was in the late nineties that movies around. 110 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 7: And one of the guys on the basketball team had 111 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,279 Speaker 7: one of his sleeves cut off of his shirt underneath 112 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 7: his jersey. I remember that because I thought it looked cool, 113 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,839 Speaker 7: and I did it when I played basketball in seventh 114 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:41,720 Speaker 7: grade for a little while. 115 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 4: It's kind of early days of like the Kobe sleeve. 116 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:47,839 Speaker 7: You know, yeah right right, Well, people were doing like 117 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:48,679 Speaker 7: sleeveless shirts. 118 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,239 Speaker 4: This is the first guy I saw it doing one. 119 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 6: I don't think I've ever seen that. It's kind of cool. 120 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 7: Nobody has no Yeah, so I that guy heckles me. 121 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 7: He has one shirt sleeve rolled up. So I pointed, 122 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:03,280 Speaker 7: I'm gonna go, oh, Sunset Park over there like that joke. 123 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 4: And I didn't. 124 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 7: No one made the connection that one kidd in Stark 125 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 7: looks like an inner city basketball player. 126 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 4: That came off. And that was finally the whole crowd 127 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 4: just goes okay. Now they had something to sink their teeth. 128 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 7: Into right, and I distinctly remember having some hearing a 129 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 7: woman in the front row say verbatim. 130 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,320 Speaker 4: That white motherfucker is going to get his ass. 131 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:43,800 Speaker 7: And the lady comes up literally takes the microphone out 132 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:48,480 Speaker 7: of my hands and walk off stage and just went 133 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,760 Speaker 7: straight back to my dorm room and just like hid 134 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 7: in my bed. 135 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 4: And that that Ora is still your manager. 136 00:07:59,400 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 3: Really good. 137 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,320 Speaker 4: She's gotten better at Cornell's gotten better. 138 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,560 Speaker 6: They're growing. He did tour later with that gospel band, 139 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 6: but you know they ended. 140 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 9: I have I have a similar like they just stopped. 141 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 4: They just stopped me from doing comedy. That's the worst 142 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 4: when the stop there, you don't even finish your time. 143 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 4: What have I was in Uh? 144 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 9: I went up to I went up to Alaska with 145 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,520 Speaker 9: Brooks for for Brits Wheelians like thirtieth birthday. We camped 146 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 9: to like Denali and our way back down to the airport, 147 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 9: we stayed one night in this little town called Talketna, 148 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 9: which is like this little mountain town is really cute. 149 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,959 Speaker 9: It's like a real quirky little mountain town. Like there's 150 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 9: a bar that like the manager is a cat, you know, 151 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 9: it's like one. 152 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 4: Of these people. 153 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, like thet. 154 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 2: Bar. 155 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 4: I guess the cat doesn't like cursing and something. 156 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:58,800 Speaker 9: When we went to that bar, they were like, oh, 157 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 9: you know if you if you curse all, you're kicked 158 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 9: out immediately, and we're like, are you fucking serious? 159 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 4: And then they kick us out. 160 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,600 Speaker 9: Like so it was a really quirky little town and 161 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 9: we go to this one bar and they had an 162 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 9: open mic and it was just you know, like poetry, 163 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 9: like singer songwriters. It's a super little local open mic 164 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 9: and Brooks. 165 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 3: Can do something stand up. Yeah, We're like from. 166 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 4: La, let's shake this town up. Yeah, like a small 167 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 4: town Alaskan town loves more than. 168 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:34,800 Speaker 6: Slam boat a singer songwriter. 169 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, the cat came out and did a trick. 170 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 9: He's like hard working, like blue collar, like lumberjacks are like, 171 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:45,840 Speaker 9: what's this guy think about airlines? So we signed up 172 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 9: for the open mic and it was a pretty rowdy 173 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 9: crowd and I go up and I was doing this 174 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 9: bit at the time that was about ants eating my Like, giz. 175 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,679 Speaker 6: You're still doing I haven't done it. 176 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,560 Speaker 4: I was doing it for a while. 177 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:06,760 Speaker 6: It's pretty funny. 178 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:10,120 Speaker 9: Yeah, it's about Yeah, it was like back when I 179 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:13,200 Speaker 9: lived with like like three guys like I like. 180 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:19,439 Speaker 7: That, it's not important, but similar time in a lot 181 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 7: of ways, drinking a. 182 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:20,600 Speaker 4: Lot of. 183 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:23,080 Speaker 6: Happier. 184 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 4: Yeah, you're trying to keep your roommates happy. 185 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 9: And I just remember, apparently, but I just remember like 186 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 9: like just ants going after my little like jerk off 187 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 9: tels like in the in the track. Yeah, I know 188 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,839 Speaker 9: it's gross, it's a gross bit, but it's about these ants, 189 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 9: like me meeting like a nick ant hybrid doesn't matter. 190 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 5: It's a gross bit, like the ants eat your come 191 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 5: and then they have a little baby. 192 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:52,679 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, Like there's like a call me his father 193 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 4: like that. 194 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:58,560 Speaker 9: Okay about this great act out Okay, and so I 195 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 9: jump into my aunt seating my to come stuff and 196 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 9: the crowd just turns like people are like like what 197 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:13,599 Speaker 9: the hell? It was just people were disgusted. 198 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:15,959 Speaker 4: And this is in the no cursing bar. No, No, 199 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 4: this was not. I had no rule, but they had 200 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 4: one rule. 201 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:28,160 Speaker 9: And took the bartender like screams out like you're done, 202 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 9: and then cuts the power to the microphone. And then 203 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,720 Speaker 9: the horse came up and like grabbed them and I 204 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 9: was like okay, cool. And then and then Brooks went 205 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 9: up and crushed really no, I don't remember what he did, 206 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 9: but we we hung out at the bar for like 207 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,000 Speaker 9: the rest of the night. 208 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 6: That's that's brave. 209 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:48,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, you just dragged through. 210 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 3: Why didn't you? 211 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:51,679 Speaker 4: It was a fun. 212 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 3: We couldn't go back to the cat bar. 213 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,480 Speaker 6: It was too there was only two bars in town. 214 00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 4: I wanted to learn my lesson. 215 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 3: Because they had a bell. 216 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 4: They had a bell and if you rang the. 217 00:12:03,559 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 9: Bell, if somebody rang the bell, that person had to 218 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 9: buy everybody in the bar a drink. So like there'd 219 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 9: be like Brooks and I felt like we were like 220 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,400 Speaker 9: locals at this point, so like there'd. 221 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:19,679 Speaker 6: Be like, you know, disgusted by everyone. 222 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 4: Hey, I'm keeping a knit, not everyone. 223 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 9: Because the night ended up with like Brooks and I 224 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 9: sitting at the bar and this kind of buxome like mountain, 225 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 9: like a much older mountain woman had really taken a 226 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 9: shining to me. 227 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:36,920 Speaker 4: She really liked me. 228 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,000 Speaker 6: She's like, I like that coum talk. I don't care 229 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 6: what anybody. 230 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,199 Speaker 4: I want to be one of those. 231 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 9: And so she was very aggressive and we were like 232 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 9: sitting at the bar and she was on the other 233 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 9: side of Brooks and we were like he was like 234 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,840 Speaker 9: holding my hand behind Brooks and then I was just 235 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:58,080 Speaker 9: trying to like kind of be nice and like. 236 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,440 Speaker 4: You know, be like, I'm not really interested. I'm good. 237 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:05,000 Speaker 4: And somebody you're sitting in a seat there and. 238 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 3: Holds a on your date. 239 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,439 Speaker 9: Yeah, exactly, because I was trying to be away from her. 240 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:16,319 Speaker 9: But she would like sneaker try, Yeah she would. Well, 241 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:20,840 Speaker 9: she has a big, strong, Lumberg lumber Jane hand. She 242 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,559 Speaker 9: got this callous lumber Jane hand. So she she does 243 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 9: what she wants it. And so I think she went 244 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 9: to the bathroom and I was like talking to somebody 245 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,360 Speaker 9: else and I was like, I just I don't I 246 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 9: don't know what to do about this. And the guy 247 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,840 Speaker 9: was like, seems like Dave's wife really likes she. 248 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,199 Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, Dave's wife. 249 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,680 Speaker 9: And never got her name is Dave's wife. And she 250 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,960 Speaker 9: kept saying, I just really wish you would walk me home, 251 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 9: Like I'm only five minutes away. 252 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:50,440 Speaker 4: If you walk me home, I'd really make it worth 253 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:50,880 Speaker 4: your while. 254 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 9: God, I don't want to know, Dave. I know, No, no, 255 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 9: nothing happened. We just like you know, I went home. 256 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 9: We fucked for days. Uh no, nothing happened. We just 257 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,440 Speaker 9: Dame comes out at the end of the story, I 258 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 9: never saw tell me the son of a bitch, you 259 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:11,920 Speaker 9: got my wife. 260 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,920 Speaker 7: Dave's listening to this podcast right now, jumping up and 261 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:19,160 Speaker 7: down on his cowboy hat. 262 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,600 Speaker 4: Dave's wife, you call that dud. 263 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 9: It felt like that's just kind of a thing she does. 264 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:28,560 Speaker 9: And she, you know, she she seduces all the l 265 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:32,440 Speaker 9: A comedians that come through that tell people nobody. Nobody 266 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,720 Speaker 9: was like, beware, that's Dave's wife. They're like, oh yeah, 267 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,880 Speaker 9: Dave's wife. Like she she lives right down the road, 268 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 9: walk her home. It felt like that was just how 269 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,720 Speaker 9: it works. They wanted to have you kill it because 270 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 9: because it comes back the way. I love that you 271 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,920 Speaker 9: told the income story. And then they were like, fuck 272 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,720 Speaker 9: you get out here, I will say. 273 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 3: For four more hours. 274 00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:53,840 Speaker 4: To the bar. 275 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:58,680 Speaker 9: And you were like, who's married here? 276 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 4: Do you know if she said, Brooks stand right here? 277 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 1: Brother? 278 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 6: Did you see your set? 279 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 9: Do you know if Day's wife was there for I 280 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:13,239 Speaker 9: imagine she was there wasn't a lot like this guy. 281 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,160 Speaker 4: Yeah. I think she liked the gall you know. 282 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel like my story is nowhere near as 283 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 6: bad as these do. 284 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 4: But okay, here we go. 285 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 7: Oh wow, I've never I'm actually never I don't know 286 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:25,120 Speaker 7: why I'm here. 287 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 6: I've never done that ever. It was it was early on. 288 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:33,520 Speaker 8: I probablynew in comedy like two years, and I somehow 289 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 8: got a gig. 290 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 6: I forget the town name. 291 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 8: I really tried to look it up on Google Maps, 292 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 8: but I couldn't find it. Somewhere in central California, just 293 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 8: like a tiny town. And they were like, you can 294 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 8: do forty five minutes, right. 295 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 6: I was like, your goddamn right, it's. 296 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 4: For three weeks. 297 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 8: I probably had like fifteen minutes maybe. 298 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 4: Yeah. 299 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 8: It was like it was like one local comic and 300 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,680 Speaker 8: then like just me, and it was like there wasn't 301 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 8: even like a host and the place is like packed 302 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,000 Speaker 8: because it's one of those small towns where there's like 303 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 8: not a lot going on. It wasn't as charming as Telkena. 304 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,720 Speaker 8: It was just like pretty bleak and like it was 305 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 8: like a place where like you you would see like 306 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 8: a guy. 307 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,440 Speaker 6: It was like a place where there'd be like a 308 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 6: fight at the thing and you would take like break 309 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 6: a pool queue was it was like a roadhouse. It 310 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 6: was like a rough bars. 311 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 4: Like a bunch of Punisher logo. 312 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 8: I mean, there was definitely like biker dudes and it 313 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 8: was like a very met vibe and it was just 314 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 8: like I drove up specifically for this show. I booked 315 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 8: it through like another comic. They're like, oh yeah, there's 316 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,160 Speaker 8: like this show. You can do a long and I 317 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 8: was just like I wanted to do a long. It 318 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,720 Speaker 8: was north. It might have been Toulari. It wasn't that 319 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 8: are stocked. It wasn't even that big. It was tiny. 320 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,200 Speaker 8: It might have been Toulaire, and I just right off 321 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,800 Speaker 8: the bat, I'm just like eating ship. 322 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:58,440 Speaker 6: It's like, yeah no, it's like nothing's working. 323 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,760 Speaker 8: And like the guy before, I think it was a 324 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,840 Speaker 8: local comic, like ate it so bad that I was terrified. 325 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,400 Speaker 6: I was like, I was like, why are these people 326 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,399 Speaker 6: even here? Like that? 327 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:07,640 Speaker 3: Do you want to be here? 328 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 8: Like the entire town seem like it was there. And 329 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 8: like one of my early bits was like a five 330 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:21,880 Speaker 8: minute chunk about Hitler and I was just like this 331 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,919 Speaker 8: is like I just go into it and it is 332 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,240 Speaker 8: just like not doing well. 333 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:29,239 Speaker 6: It was like one of them. 334 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:32,080 Speaker 8: There's multiple parts, but one part is about like the 335 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 8: Hitler family name was originally Chickel Gruber and Hitler changed 336 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,719 Speaker 8: it. It might have actually been his dad who changed it. 337 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 8: And I was like the joke had something to do 338 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 8: with how like it would have been way funnier if 339 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,920 Speaker 8: like he didn't change it, because like chickel Groover is 340 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:45,760 Speaker 8: such a fun name. 341 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, Hitler is like his stage name. 342 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 8: Well it was like chickle Groverer was like a family 343 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,639 Speaker 8: name that they then changed to Hitler. But I was 344 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,400 Speaker 8: like it would have been he would have been more 345 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,600 Speaker 8: deadly because no one would have taken him seriously. You know, 346 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,600 Speaker 8: you hear like, oh, Hitler's invaded poland you're like, oh 347 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,760 Speaker 8: my god, we gotta do something. You hear like chicle 348 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 8: Gruber has just invaded Pulled, and you're like, that fucking 349 00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:10,679 Speaker 8: sounds hilarious. He's up to his old tricks clowning friends. 350 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,919 Speaker 8: As you can see, very solid joke, And I had 351 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 8: like a bunch more shop I don't even remember, but 352 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,719 Speaker 8: it was like a huge chunk and it was just 353 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:23,320 Speaker 8: not doing This is the only time someone's actually done this, 354 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:25,480 Speaker 8: because I feel like this only happens in movies when 355 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:29,359 Speaker 8: someone's getting heckled. But like someone was literally like you suck, 356 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 8: Like that never happens. Usually players are like too drunk 357 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 8: and they're just talking loud. But like I got like 358 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,160 Speaker 8: a full on you suck. 359 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,320 Speaker 4: Like a perfectly and it was just like a dagger 360 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 4: to the heart. 361 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,399 Speaker 8: And then I was like, I was like, you know, 362 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,640 Speaker 8: I'm floundering. I'm like, I'm just gonna go into crowd work. 363 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:51,000 Speaker 8: So I start talking to these guys and like somehow 364 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,120 Speaker 8: we started talking about meth because I think there was like. 365 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,840 Speaker 6: A it was like a meth type of vibe. 366 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 8: Yeah, and I like kind of I kind of got 367 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,159 Speaker 8: a few laughs, like making fun of the town on 368 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:00,520 Speaker 8: the road. 369 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,560 Speaker 6: I was like, what are you doing a small town? 370 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 8: On the next small town, I bet that town fucking 371 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,159 Speaker 8: smokes way more math, you know. 372 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 6: But and then someone was like, we actually smoked more math. 373 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,960 Speaker 6: Were proud of man. 374 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 8: I was like, oh, I mean, you guys, this is 375 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:19,600 Speaker 8: the meth town. 376 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:27,240 Speaker 6: Springfield Town's trying their hardest coming from you fucking sweating. 377 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,000 Speaker 8: I remember at one point there was like a stuffed 378 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 8: bear and I like went into a riff about how 379 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,000 Speaker 8: like the bear was the mayor of the town and 380 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 8: like they did not love that. And then I think 381 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 8: I just started getting more drunk on stage and I 382 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:44,920 Speaker 8: just like did crowd work for the rest of the time, 383 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,639 Speaker 8: but like it was bad there was definitely like biker dudes. 384 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,960 Speaker 8: I was like, these guys are gonna like beat the 385 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,440 Speaker 8: ship out of me. I'm like making fun of their town. 386 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 8: But you know, they all kind of came together over 387 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,400 Speaker 8: the med stuff. So you know, at least I had 388 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,919 Speaker 8: that silver lining. 389 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:03,200 Speaker 9: You got them with a Recdrey. 390 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:12,959 Speaker 4: With Adrey. 391 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 3: Okay, so we got our bombing stories. What were the 392 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,920 Speaker 3: other two parts of my podcast? 393 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:19,880 Speaker 6: Quick? 394 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,160 Speaker 3: Oh, the worst bob you've ever witnessed in public? 395 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,359 Speaker 5: Like people getting bottles thrown at them on stage or 396 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:27,800 Speaker 5: meltdown on stage. 397 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 6: They just get segue into Nick's other stories. 398 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:35,800 Speaker 9: While oh, yeah, I don't, well, let's transition into that later. 399 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 4: I have later a quick podcast to get out of here. Tomorrow, Well, 400 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:47,679 Speaker 4: I have, well. 401 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,720 Speaker 3: What is this humbled story? 402 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:54,199 Speaker 9: So Cornell runs a festival up and Humble at Savage 403 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,800 Speaker 9: Henry Comedy Cub. It's great, it's every year. It's super fun, 404 00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:00,399 Speaker 9: super chill. It was one of the first times I 405 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 9: had gone up there, maybe the second time i'd gone 406 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 9: up there for the festival, and it was the final 407 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,080 Speaker 9: show of the weekend. It was the big like headliner show, 408 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:12,720 Speaker 9: right the huge, beautiful venue, beautiful like theater and so 409 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:16,120 Speaker 9: they decided to like book like thirty comics on the show. 410 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 4: The guy I don't run it. I don't know because. 411 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 9: Now the story, Yeah you don't run it, but you're 412 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 9: a big part of the scene up there. 413 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:38,520 Speaker 7: And yeah with the comics, you deal the drugs qu 414 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,520 Speaker 7: else from Humble to our listener, but you know the guys, 415 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,439 Speaker 7: the guys who run it. It was like the first 416 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:47,800 Speaker 7: time putting any of this ship together. I didn't really understand. 417 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,879 Speaker 3: You always say thirty comics or nothing. 418 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:55,879 Speaker 4: Yeah, gets funny at the three hour mark, warming up 419 00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:58,840 Speaker 4: the crowd. Literally every show was at least two and 420 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 4: a half hour. It was it was like buy a 421 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 4: bracelet for the whole weekend. They go to one show like. 422 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:05,880 Speaker 6: Comedy. 423 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:09,120 Speaker 7: I never want to see comedy again. It's like all 424 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,120 Speaker 7: your favorite comics from Tilarry yea. 425 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:16,160 Speaker 6: And check it out. 426 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 4: Dave's wife is in the lobby, do not walk her home. 427 00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:25,160 Speaker 9: So we so it was like all of our comedy 428 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 9: buddies and we all had we all were like, on 429 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:29,960 Speaker 9: this show is the last like blowout night of the festival. 430 00:22:30,119 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 7: Yeah, it's an old movie theater too, really cool on 431 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 7: stage in front of the big screen. 432 00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,879 Speaker 9: With like like there's one are those things called like 433 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:43,879 Speaker 9: where they shot Lincoln. There's like yeah, like it was 434 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 9: just really cool. It's a really beautiful venue. 435 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 6: Lincoln Murder vibes. 436 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 9: Yeah, and uh, somebody had cocaine, and so we're like, 437 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,680 Speaker 9: let's do a little bit of cocaine before our set. 438 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,200 Speaker 9: We'll go up there like Richard pryor, you know, we'll 439 00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,440 Speaker 9: just have a good time on stage. But the show 440 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,120 Speaker 9: was like three and a half hours long, and when 441 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,560 Speaker 9: you do a little bit of cocaine, you want to 442 00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 9: do a little more. 443 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 4: Yeah. 444 00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:08,919 Speaker 7: That other is my hometown. My mom's in the stepped, 445 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 7: my grandma, grandma, grandma's there, everybody's there. It's a big day. 446 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:20,359 Speaker 7: We're in this like attic space. Yeah yeah, because we 447 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,360 Speaker 7: go behind the screen and everyone's like kind of hanging 448 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,600 Speaker 7: out back there as a green room. But then Nick, 449 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 7: Carl and I find this ladder up to a mystery attic. 450 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 9: Just like they had the Blair Witch Project like attic 451 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,919 Speaker 9: that was like dusty and chalky, and so we're like 452 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,080 Speaker 9: that's where we're go do our drugs, and we go 453 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,359 Speaker 9: and we just keep doing cocaine and we're like go 454 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:42,639 Speaker 9: down and check them with the host like, am I 455 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:43,120 Speaker 9: up next? 456 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,880 Speaker 4: And like yeah, nine more comments, Okay, great. 457 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 3: I guess I'll go. 458 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, And I remember I think I was last. 459 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:50,800 Speaker 6: I don't. 460 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 4: I might have been headline and I don't think it. 461 00:23:58,280 --> 00:23:58,640 Speaker 4: I don't. 462 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 9: I don't know what we were doing, but I was 463 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,439 Speaker 9: like so like numb mouthed, like I put something like 464 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,479 Speaker 9: clenching my teeth and I'm trying to get through this 465 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,960 Speaker 9: like already miserable show, like a full mental breakdown on stage. 466 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 9: I definitely I've really never seen anything. 467 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 3: Wait what happened? 468 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:16,120 Speaker 9: I mean, I just was like the place was packed, 469 00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:17,639 Speaker 9: but of course people trickled out because it was going 470 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 9: on way too long. 471 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 4: So there's nobody. 472 00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:25,399 Speaker 7: There, and people there are exhaust exactly the other Comedia 473 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 7: hate comedy. 474 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 4: At this point, it's doing. 475 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 6: The cum joking from Cornell's grandmother. 476 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm screaming about my jiz and how you get 477 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:33,640 Speaker 4: on stage. 478 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 9: I came on stage and I'm like I can't even speak, man, 479 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,400 Speaker 9: like I was so like cracked down. 480 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 3: Tell them you were coked up, thou. 481 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 4: I want to say that was my I think. 482 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,960 Speaker 7: My cover there. I think my mom was like, oh, 483 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:53,880 Speaker 7: that's why Corner was acting so usually bulge that much. 484 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,159 Speaker 9: He was a byeah, I'm gripping the mic and it 485 00:24:58,320 --> 00:24:59,399 Speaker 9: shattered my hand. 486 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 6: So you did. 487 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:05,720 Speaker 8: You could have done like like ten fifteen and just 488 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,959 Speaker 8: gotten out of there like a mercy, but you you 489 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 8: did like forty. 490 00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 4: Time. 491 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 9: Also, if you remember an hour four oh you brought 492 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,160 Speaker 9: him over into tomorrow. I remember like Andre Hyland performed 493 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,679 Speaker 9: in that show too, and he had this like video 494 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 9: of like this was like a bomb. 495 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,640 Speaker 6: I would love to watch this, she said on video. 496 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,639 Speaker 4: This video was like it's just like different horse a 497 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,000 Speaker 4: c g I horse horse. Have you seen it? 498 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:34,280 Speaker 8: Yeah? 499 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 4: It was also did not go over well, so he 500 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,440 Speaker 4: said set the tone and. 501 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,920 Speaker 9: I was like, I need some chemical influence to get 502 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:42,680 Speaker 9: these guys back. 503 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 6: I love horses and I love come. That's a good 504 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 6: idea for a joke. 505 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:46,959 Speaker 4: God, it was a nightmare. 506 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:47,840 Speaker 3: So were you just like. 507 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:52,679 Speaker 4: It's just like you couldn't even like talk. I did 508 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,320 Speaker 4: some cocaine in the back three hours. 509 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 6: I was like, I've been in the attic doing. 510 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 9: Code for hours. People like just NY nine one one 511 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 9: and hovering the finger over sand. 512 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:19,880 Speaker 3: You learned, is that the most wasted you've ever been 513 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:20,280 Speaker 3: on stage? 514 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:24,439 Speaker 9: Would you say, oh yeah, definitely, definitely, for surely, I'm 515 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,960 Speaker 9: sure I've been my drunker on stage because I was crystal. 516 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 3: Clear with aer Condre. 517 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:52,640 Speaker 9: With a Condre my worst like other people bombing story 518 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,680 Speaker 9: was the very very first time I did any open 519 00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:58,480 Speaker 9: mic and I went to the Haha Cafe in North Hollyway. 520 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,000 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I got some nightmares. Store. 521 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,199 Speaker 9: I had my my really good friend Brandy was the 522 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,200 Speaker 9: only one who came to support me, which was fine. 523 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 3: Singer or the singer no. 524 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:21,080 Speaker 9: The beverage, and so I was, you know, I was 525 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 9: like fortieth in the fucking lineup or whatever, and it 526 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 9: started packed and then it just kind of get in 527 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,480 Speaker 9: like people left and people left, and I was like 528 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 9: very very late in the show, and right before I 529 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,680 Speaker 9: go up, it was probably like half full at this point. 530 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,480 Speaker 9: Right before I go up, this guy comes on stage 531 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,360 Speaker 9: and brings up like a real dog and takes out 532 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,160 Speaker 9: like a gun. There was a toy gun, but brought 533 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,440 Speaker 9: out a gun and holds it to the dog's head 534 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,280 Speaker 9: and says, if you guys don't laugh at my jokes, 535 00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 9: I'll shoot this. It's a fucking hack lampoon bit. 536 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 6: And lastic national lampoon thing. If you don't come to 537 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:52,879 Speaker 6: this movie. We'll kill this. 538 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,000 Speaker 9: But it was an awful bit and they walked the 539 00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:57,159 Speaker 9: entire crowd. 540 00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:58,720 Speaker 4: The entire crowd left. 541 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,000 Speaker 9: He did shitty four minutes a comedy, and then it 542 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,320 Speaker 9: was just me my friend Brandy, and like the next 543 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:05,359 Speaker 9: comic was in the room, and I went on stage 544 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,400 Speaker 9: did my three minutes, and she laughed loud and hard 545 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,159 Speaker 9: enough that I was like, I'm going to do this 546 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 9: for the rest. 547 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 3: Of Thanks, Brandy, better than you're my favorite singer. Dude. 548 00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:24,600 Speaker 5: Julie Ashton, who's a casting director, very lovely casting. It 549 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 5: was always very sweet to me early on when I 550 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,160 Speaker 5: didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I asked 551 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:35,520 Speaker 5: her one time, what was the worst, what's the worst audition. 552 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,080 Speaker 3: You've ever experienced? 553 00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 5: You've seen like a billion actors come through your your 554 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,360 Speaker 5: casting studio, Like, what's the worst, what's the worst you've 555 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 5: ever experienced? She goes, a guy pulled out a gun 556 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 5: during an audition, a real gun, a loaded gun, because 557 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:50,200 Speaker 5: there was a gun in the scene. He was like 558 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 5: a villain in the you know, some drama. 559 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:53,800 Speaker 4: To bring a gun. 560 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:58,120 Speaker 5: Tod pulled out a gun and aimed it at her 561 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,880 Speaker 5: and like did the scene and she was like, okay, thanks. 562 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:07,240 Speaker 4: In La. 563 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 7: There was this comic who did open mics back in 564 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 7: the day, and he would always bomb, but I thought 565 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 7: he was the funniest man in the world. He went 566 00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 7: by the name gay Lord Dingler. 567 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 6: I'm on board already. 568 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:27,760 Speaker 3: That was Hitler's original. 569 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:35,320 Speaker 4: Friend of the show, kay Lord Dingler. 570 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 7: And he would always he'd just be sitting out in 571 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,120 Speaker 7: front of an open mic, just sitting on the ground, 572 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:45,680 Speaker 7: drinking of forty of mickeys before the started, and he 573 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 7: would go up and he had the same act every 574 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,720 Speaker 7: single time. You know those crazy guys who just do 575 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 7: open mics and they'd never change a fucking word verbatim. 576 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 4: He's one of those guys. 577 00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 7: And every time he would just bomb at these crazy, 578 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:05,200 Speaker 7: weird open mics, and I would be dying laughing. The 579 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:09,720 Speaker 7: only joke of his I really remember it was he 580 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:14,520 Speaker 7: had remember two jokes. One joke he go, he go, uh, 581 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,640 Speaker 7: you know, I open up the newspaper and I see 582 00:30:16,680 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 7: all these these ads for garage sales. 583 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 4: Garage sales. 584 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,480 Speaker 7: Yeah, but uh, you know, I've been driving around with 585 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:25,959 Speaker 7: my dog and he hasn't seen one garage for sale. 586 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 4: They always involved his dog for some reason. 587 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:29,400 Speaker 3: I don't know. 588 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:37,880 Speaker 7: That. The other joke, yeah, he goes, this was this 589 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,400 Speaker 7: was my favorite one. He goes, Yeah, this woman was 590 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:44,480 Speaker 7: working at a gym. She lost thirty pounds in one day. 591 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,720 Speaker 4: Yeah. Can you believe it? Thirty pounds in one day. Yeah. 592 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 4: A machine ripped her leg off. 593 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 3: The best machine ripped. 594 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,800 Speaker 9: That gun shooting guy, the gun and dog guy. I 595 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:12,960 Speaker 9: saw him like months later at the Aha Cafe and I. 596 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 6: Was like, where's your dog? 597 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:21,720 Speaker 9: He goes, He's like I did nobody and he had 598 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:27,280 Speaker 9: he now had complete like huge fake veneers, like the masks, 599 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,040 Speaker 9: and they weren't like Poppins. They were like dentally like 600 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,160 Speaker 9: a dentist installed them. And he was wearing a suit 601 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:36,000 Speaker 9: and he was like, I'm working on my new bit 602 00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:37,840 Speaker 9: and I was like, oh, cool man, what is it? 603 00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:41,960 Speaker 9: And then he pants himself and he had sewn out 604 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:47,320 Speaker 9: of like nylon and like flesh colored threads, a photorealistic 605 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,080 Speaker 9: stuffed penis. This was like outside of the comedy club. 606 00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 9: He was like, you got to check my I'm going 607 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,040 Speaker 9: on the later show, you got to check my bit out. 608 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,320 Speaker 9: I was like, what is it? And then he just 609 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,480 Speaker 9: exposed himself. But it's not exposing if it's not real, 610 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,480 Speaker 9: but it is kind of exposing if you can't tell 611 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,920 Speaker 9: it's not really. So his bit was having crazy mask 612 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,120 Speaker 9: teeth and just showing his dick to the crowd. 613 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:10,800 Speaker 6: Artist better than a dog. 614 00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it is a step up. 615 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:14,280 Speaker 4: Everybody's got their journey. 616 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 8: I used to work at this bar in Venice and 617 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,680 Speaker 8: I was like just starting stand up. So we found 618 00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 8: out there was gonna be a stand It was like 619 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,400 Speaker 8: a music though there was never any stand up there. 620 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 8: We found that there's gonna be a stand up night, 621 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,760 Speaker 8: and it was like Howard Stern guys, but not like 622 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:31,360 Speaker 8: the A tier. It was like sal the stockbrokers, like 623 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:36,440 Speaker 8: Jim Florentine. I forget who it was. But one guy 624 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 8: closed his set by bringing a woman on stage and 625 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 8: pouring ranch dressing into her ass crack and then licking 626 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:43,760 Speaker 8: it out. 627 00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:44,520 Speaker 3: Of her whole boy. 628 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,760 Speaker 6: He had multiple women who wanted. 629 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:48,840 Speaker 8: To get on stage. WHOA And I was like, that's 630 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:50,280 Speaker 8: a ranch pioneer right there. 631 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:56,560 Speaker 6: I was literally like people were like, big me, bick me. 632 00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 8: It was like, I guess this is like a thing, 633 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 8: but wow, I was like, that's a. 634 00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:03,280 Speaker 5: Any other any other fucking things. This is a great 635 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:08,920 Speaker 5: This is phenomenal, fantastic. Yeah, I'm surprised that you're wasted. 636 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,080 Speaker 3: Stories weren't that. 637 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 4: I got to think crazy. 638 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,520 Speaker 5: I got the three of you. I think you guys 639 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:17,200 Speaker 5: have been so often wasted on stage. It's kind of 640 00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:20,320 Speaker 5: like normally you're like, yeah, whatever, it's called Thursday. My man, 641 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,640 Speaker 5: you're hear be like I dropped ten hits of acid 642 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:24,800 Speaker 5: in my eye and and. 643 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:30,600 Speaker 4: On stage. The stage is precious, man, that's a precious space, 644 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 4: is a temple. Yeah, you don't, you don't. 645 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,720 Speaker 7: And it's not so funny of a story of it 646 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:36,800 Speaker 7: was like I've been getting drunk on stage for fifteen 647 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,719 Speaker 7: years and it's probably going to be successful. 648 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,360 Speaker 6: It's not really a story so much. 649 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 4: As I've wasted my life. 650 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:51,719 Speaker 9: I can't face the audience unless I myself my life. 651 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,440 Speaker 4: I'm days away from giving it all up. But it 652 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:56,000 Speaker 4: is interesting. 653 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,239 Speaker 9: That's like why you put it on the podcast, Like 654 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:02,200 Speaker 9: he's fucking dare I have once I shit myself and 655 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 9: suck my own tick. 656 00:34:06,600 --> 00:34:11,200 Speaker 8: That was my closer for most of the early two thousands. 657 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:12,720 Speaker 6: All Right, thank you, gentlemen. 658 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 3: I'll probably see you guys like in a few hours. 659 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, like best vishile or something like that. 660 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:24,160 Speaker 5: Yeah, best fishing bie guys, Thank you bye, I'll be. 661 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:25,759 Speaker 4: With a recondre. 662 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,759 Speaker 3: All right, listen up, we got something special for you. 663 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:31,200 Speaker 1: Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about 664 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 1: when you bombed or absolutely failed in life. Now's your 665 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,879 Speaker 1: chance to tell me all about it, Mabel. I want 666 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:40,520 Speaker 1: to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what the fuck 667 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,600 Speaker 1: was I thinking? What just happened moment? So pick up 668 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:47,200 Speaker 1: your phone and dial seven one six Bombing. That's seven 669 00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:50,840 Speaker 1: one six two six six twenty four sixty four and 670 00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:52,239 Speaker 1: leave me a voicemail and we. 671 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:54,239 Speaker 3: Might just play it on a future episode. 672 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,120 Speaker 1: Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will 673 00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:59,360 Speaker 1: Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our executive 674 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:03,160 Speaker 1: producer is Olivia Aguilar. Our producer is Bei Wang, Our 675 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,360 Speaker 1: research assistant is David Carliner. Our editor and sound designers 676 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:08,920 Speaker 1: Andy Harris, and our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go 677 00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,000 Speaker 1: rate us five stars and drop a review on your 678 00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 1: podcast app a choice