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Speaker 2: I'm embarrassed, I'm familiated, I'm ashamed. I know what I did.
Speaker 2: I was wrong. I'm very sorry for it.
Speaker 3: Again, I take four responsibility for my actions and os
Speaker 3: for mercy.
Speaker 1: I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, Season four, Episode two,
Speaker 1: Cat and Mouse. In the last episode, we met Caroline
Speaker 1: Brega and learned about her husband, former Colorado Springs Police
Speaker 1: Lieutenant Joel Kern. On the outside, they were the perfect
Speaker 1: American family. Then on April eleventh, twenty twenty two, Joel
Speaker 1: detonated a bomb on his life, a bomb that would
Speaker 1: destroy his family. It started with the text he sent
Speaker 1: to his wife that read.
Speaker 4: I was caught receiving oral sex from two women in
Speaker 4: my cop car I lied about it during an internal
Speaker 4: affairs investigation. I am now pending termination.
Speaker 1: April eleventh is now called D Day by Caroline and
Speaker 1: her kids. Here's Caroline and Joel's daughter Nicole.
Speaker 5: That evening, I had a lacrosse game, and so I
Speaker 5: started kind of getting ready for my lacrosse game.
Speaker 1: It started as a normal day, but it soon would
Speaker 1: become an inflection point.
Speaker 5: My mom called me to follow her into the bathroom
Speaker 5: and I don't even remember what she was doing, maybe
Speaker 5: taking down her hair from her updal. She just was
Speaker 5: acting off, and so I said what's wrong? And she
Speaker 5: didn't respond.
Speaker 1: She was scared something was wrong. Did something happen?
Speaker 5: And then I said, is daddy okay?
Speaker 1: Caroline was at a loss for words. They all lived
Speaker 1: with the fear that one day Joel wouldn't come home
Speaker 1: from work. But Joel wasn't injured or killed in the
Speaker 1: line of duty. Still nothing was okay. Caroline and Joel's
Speaker 1: son was a freshman in college far from home.
Speaker 6: I get a call from my sister and so I
Speaker 6: send it to voicemail. I get another call, and then
Speaker 6: I had the text to reply, and I say, I'm
Speaker 6: about to walk into a chemistry medterm. Can I call
Speaker 6: you after? And she texted back no, it's an emergency.
Speaker 6: So I pick up the phone and I call her,
Speaker 6: and I remember my mom and my sister shaken up
Speaker 6: in tears.
Speaker 1: The family met in the living room. Nicole and Caroline
Speaker 1: sat on the couch. Caroline and Joel's son was on
Speaker 1: speaker phone, and Joel stood in front of the fireplace.
Speaker 1: It was the most bizarre family meeting you could imagine.
Speaker 1: It felt like someone else's life, but no, it was
Speaker 1: happening in their home.
Speaker 4: Our daughter's sitting right next to me, our son's on
Speaker 4: the phone, and the three of us are just in hysterics.
Speaker 4: You can hear our son hysterically crying, our daughter's hysterically crying.
Speaker 4: And I said, you need to tell the kids what's
Speaker 4: going on.
Speaker 1: What was going on? Well, to understand the events of
Speaker 1: April eleven, twenty twenty two, we need to go back
Speaker 1: a few months prior to February fifth. That day, a
Speaker 1: stranger showed up on Caroline and Joel's doorstep. Joel was
Speaker 1: home and answered the door. The whole interaction happened to
Speaker 1: be recorded. The sound isn't great, but you'll get the
Speaker 1: gist of it. And we've distorted the stranger's voice to
Speaker 1: protect his privacy.
Speaker 7: He ane dogs, man O, chance was it?
Speaker 8: You know who I am?
Speaker 9: Here's my wife out the one that you're thought in
Speaker 9: your cruiser?
Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
Speaker 4: I'm not here to.
Speaker 10: Arrest, but I'm saying, Joel, yeah, I'm talking about you
Speaker 10: say my wife.
Speaker 2: Okay, my wife is there, Dave. I wouldn't want to
Speaker 2: know if you know her. I have no idea what
Speaker 2: you're talking about.
Speaker 10: And if that's the case, then I owe you an apology.
Speaker 10: I'm not, like I said, I'm not here. If I
Speaker 10: was wrong, want me leave.
Speaker 11: The Why are you here?
Speaker 2: So if you don't know my pro property, like I said,
Speaker 2: I'm not hearing her, ask you, I will.
Speaker 10: That's not what I'm trying to do. I just wanted
Speaker 10: to know you know my wife.
Speaker 2: No, I don't.
Speaker 10: I know you're a pop and all that stuff. Man,
Speaker 10: I know that, but that's not cool. That that's not cool.
Speaker 10: I just want you to stay away from my wife.
Speaker 10: You can't even look me in the face and tell
Speaker 10: me you made a mistake.
Speaker 12: Me.
Speaker 9: I don't even know who.
Speaker 2: She is, so leave.
Speaker 10: I thought you hadn't be able to look at me,
Speaker 10: Manda Man and say, yeah, I did fuck your wife.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry for ruining your marriage.
Speaker 9: No, I'm not.
Speaker 2: You need to check your wife up because I'm not
Speaker 2: doing anything.
Speaker 1: And with that, the couple took off and Joel was
Speaker 1: left alone to contemplate what just happened. This man managed
Speaker 1: to find his house and came right to his front door.
Speaker 1: Caroline had been out on a run and missed the
Speaker 1: whole confrontation by minutes, but Joel wasn't home alone. Nicole
Speaker 1: was in the basement just doing her homework.
Speaker 5: Usually I would have went up and just saw who
Speaker 5: was at the door with him, but for whatever reason,
Speaker 5: I just continued to do my homework, and so later
Speaker 5: on I asked him, you know who was at the door,
Speaker 5: and then he just said like some solicitor.
Speaker 1: Joel carried on as if nothing happened. In fact, later
Speaker 1: that night, Joel and Caroline went to a party. He
Speaker 1: also never mentioned the confrontation to his family.
Speaker 4: It was a Yellowstone theme party and I'm throwing on
Speaker 4: a blond wig pretending to be Beth and got him
Speaker 4: a beard to be ripped. We left and we were
Speaker 4: going to a friend's house who we had been to
Speaker 4: their home hundreds of times. And he pulled up to
Speaker 4: the wrong house and I said, what are you doing?
Speaker 4: And so he was like, what do you mean? And
Speaker 4: I said, you pulled up to the wrong house. He said, oh,
Speaker 4: I didn't know that, And so, you know, we back out,
Speaker 4: go to the right house. Okay.
Speaker 1: Caroline laughed it off in the moment. Looking back now,
Speaker 1: she sees that Joel's mind was somewhere else that night.
Speaker 1: But there was bad news for Joel. The stranger who
Speaker 1: came to his door made another stop that day. After
Speaker 1: he pulled out of Joel's driveway, he and his wife
Speaker 1: drove straight to the Colorado Springs Police Department or CSPD,
Speaker 1: and filed an official complaint against Joel. After all, an
Speaker 1: officer having sex in his police car while on duty
Speaker 1: would be a major professional violation. We filed an records
Speaker 1: request so we could get those investigation records. Over the
Speaker 1: past year, we received hundreds of pages from CSPD, all
Speaker 1: relating to Joel Kern. We were also given actual audio
Speaker 1: recordings from the investigation. What you're about to hear is
Speaker 1: from one of those recordings. It's Joel's boss, Commander Strassner,
Speaker 1: being interviewed by Internal Affairs about Joel's alleged misconduct.
Speaker 9: How did you.
Speaker 2: Become aware of this investigation? Can you kind of walk
Speaker 2: me through?
Speaker 7: That's about February seventh. I got a call just advising
Speaker 7: me that there was an internal a complaint that was
Speaker 7: filed over the weekend regarding Lieutenant Kern possibly having sex
Speaker 7: in the back of his vehicle.
Speaker 1: Strassner was one of the first people Joel went to.
Speaker 1: When you heard about the complaint.
Speaker 7: He adamantly denies anything happened. He goes, I don't even
Speaker 7: know these people. I don't know what they're talking about.
Speaker 7: I haven't seen him before. There's no way I would
Speaker 7: do that in a police car. He goes, made the
Speaker 7: statement of I didn't have sex in the back of
Speaker 7: my car when I was in high school or college.
Speaker 7: I'm sure's the heck not going to do that now
Speaker 7: kind of thing. Very visibly upset, almost in tears, and
Speaker 7: just really angry about how somebody could file a false
Speaker 7: complaint and turn his entire world upside down. In his
Speaker 7: family upside down. So he was really upset and really
Speaker 7: pissed off.
Speaker 1: But was his rage really directed at the couple from
Speaker 1: making the complaint or was it directed at the Internal
Speaker 1: affairs department for taking the complaint Seriously? Joel was an experienced,
Speaker 1: respected police lieutenant. This investigation threatened to take all that away.
Speaker 7: He goes, I just don't understand why this couldn't have
Speaker 7: been a preliminary inquiry. I tell you no, and this
Speaker 7: thing be closed.
Speaker 1: A preliminary inquiry is like an initial check to see
Speaker 1: if there's any valid reason to suspect that the officer
Speaker 1: he has done something wrong. Internal affairs can then decide
Speaker 1: to move forward with the investigation or close the matter.
Speaker 7: I said, look, Joel, you know why it couldn't have
Speaker 7: been a preliminary inquiry. They got to go through the process.
Speaker 1: Let's be clear. What the complaint was alleging was no
Speaker 1: ordinary affair. They were claiming police misconduct, an officer abusing
Speaker 1: his badge, having sex in a taxpayer funded vehicle on
Speaker 1: the public's time and in public. Remember, Joel had worked
Speaker 1: in internal affairs years earlier. He understood how it operated. Ironically,
Speaker 1: he had worked in the department with Commander Strassner.
Speaker 7: Sudden they have to do a thorough job, and he's like, yeah,
Speaker 7: I get it, but he was very angry.
Speaker 1: But Strassner also gave Joel some reassurance.
Speaker 7: I said, look, I have no reason not to believe
Speaker 7: anything that you're telling because if you didn't do that,
Speaker 7: as you're saying either one or two things, they're completely
Speaker 7: lining and they need to be charged with false reporting
Speaker 7: or somebody's impersonating you. We need to get to the
Speaker 7: end of that. And so we got to do this thoroughly,
Speaker 7: and I'm going to make sure I stay in contact
Speaker 7: with internal affairs to make sure it's a complete and
Speaker 7: thorough investigation.
Speaker 1: Strassner could tell that Joel was distraught. This was a
Speaker 1: serious matter. Someone could be filing a false report or
Speaker 1: impersonating him. Strawsner assured Joel that if someone was victimizing him,
Speaker 1: they would be held accountable. To complete the investigation, the
Speaker 1: CSPD took Joel's police vehicle and his department issued phone.
Speaker 7: If it was me and his shoes and as he's saying,
Speaker 7: all of it is fabricated, I would be incredibly upset
Speaker 7: and angry. And to me it seemed very genuine and authentic.
Speaker 7: I got no reason to doubt what he scene.
Speaker 1: This was recorded in February twenty twenty two. The investigation
Speaker 1: into Joel had been going on for two months, two
Speaker 1: months where he knew his life was on the brink
Speaker 1: of collapse. Meanwhile, Caroline was completely in the dark. Joel
Speaker 1: didn't tell her about the man on their doorstep or
Speaker 1: the misconduct investigation. It seemed like Joel thought that with
Speaker 1: his rank in years of service, he would be able
Speaker 1: to talk his way out of this, but the CESPD
Speaker 1: was taking it seriously. They went ahead and looked for
Speaker 1: any evidence that would support the couple's claim, and that
Speaker 1: included interviewing the man and his wife. Yes, the couple
Speaker 1: who showed up at Joel's door agreed to cooperate, so
Speaker 1: Internal Affairs sat with the woman Joel adamantly denied ever
Speaker 1: seeing before. Here are some of that interview.
Speaker 8: Okay, this is a center field chance I with the
Speaker 8: Colorado Springs Police Department Ternal Affairs Section Today's February seventeen,
Speaker 8: twenty twenty two, also president as a general Affairs, Sergeant
Speaker 8: Drew Jealous.
Speaker 1: Lieutenant Chanza asked the woman about how she met Joel.
Speaker 1: She explained it was on a fetish and king social
Speaker 1: network called betlife dot com. And as a note, we've
Speaker 1: altered the voices of all the civilians interviewed by CSPD
Speaker 1: to protect their privacy.
Speaker 8: What was it that initially drew your attention to the
Speaker 8: person we're talking about today?
Speaker 13: He contacted me, just like Facebook has messenger, that there's
Speaker 13: a messenger within it.
Speaker 1: Joel had suggested that they meet at a public park.
Speaker 13: I drove in my vehicle to go meet him. When
Speaker 13: I got to the location, which was Memorial Park, he
Speaker 13: was in what looked like an unmarked police car. I
Speaker 13: imagine the first question would be, how would I know that.
Speaker 13: I've got a number of officers in my family who
Speaker 13: I've seen their unmarked vehicles. I do know what they
Speaker 13: look like. He could see.
Speaker 2: I was nervous.
Speaker 13: I was shaken, and at that point it probably should
Speaker 13: have stopped.
Speaker 8: Did the two if you have anything in common, any
Speaker 8: fetishes as you describe them, that that kind of made
Speaker 8: you kind of continue the conversation.
Speaker 13: Yes, he was into domination and I was into submission.
Speaker 13: He told me that he would enjoy spanking me and
Speaker 13: fisting me and choking me and pulling my hair?
Speaker 8: So what leads you to believe that this person was
Speaker 8: a police officer?
Speaker 13: Meeting stated he was?
Speaker 8: Can you tell us a little more about that.
Speaker 13: He eventually told me his name, and you know, eventually
Speaker 13: told me that he was a police officer with Springs
Speaker 13: Police told me he did traffic investigations.
Speaker 8: So when he told you his name, what name did.
Speaker 14: He give you?
Speaker 2: Joel Kerr?
Speaker 8: Were you physically harmed in anyway? I know you said
Speaker 8: it bruised. Were you harmed in any way during this encounter?
Speaker 13: I mean I was bruised, and that's about the extent
Speaker 13: of it. The dammage I'll suffer is on me.
Speaker 8: Was there any aspect of this meeting that was non
Speaker 8: consensual from your perspective?
Speaker 13: No, this isn't about digging into his life and trying
Speaker 13: to harm him. It is simply about as an officer,
Speaker 13: he should not be using his vehicle to have what
Speaker 13: I imagine this problem not the first rendezvous. What makes
Speaker 13: you say that that that you believe this wasn't.
Speaker 2: His first.
Speaker 13: Because he discussed enjoying having mate ups such as this.
Speaker 1: This woman had come to regret her actions and confessed
Speaker 1: to her husband. She gave her husband access to her
Speaker 1: computer and all her passwords. She was remorseful about the
Speaker 1: encounter and took responsibility for her part in it. The
Speaker 1: woman fully disclosed her actions to her husband and agreed
Speaker 1: to accompany him to Joel's house. However, as you heard,
Speaker 1: things didn't go as planned. They of course reported him.
Speaker 1: The woman's story was credible, and when police searched Joel's
Speaker 1: phone in computer, they found evidence supporting her story, and
Speaker 1: then they identified another woman Joel had met up with.
Speaker 1: He planned this one on his work phone, but it
Speaker 1: seemed like he forgot to delete a few messages from
Speaker 1: the exchange. This woman had also met Joel on fet life.
Speaker 1: Although she was cooperative, she seemed less eager to discuss
Speaker 1: the encounter. An internal affairs sergeant contacted her by phone.
Speaker 9: So you started talking, you think online in August twenty
Speaker 9: twenty one. You spoke on the phone, he would call you,
Speaker 9: and you spoke through WhatsApp. When's the first time you
Speaker 9: said you met. When's the first time you actually met
Speaker 9: in person.
Speaker 2: I believe that he was a conference in Denver and
Speaker 2: we just met briefly when he was on his way back,
Speaker 2: like the last day that he was going back to
Speaker 2: the Springs.
Speaker 1: The woman and Joel had talked and texted for several weeks.
Speaker 1: He had attended a work conference in Denver. After talking
Speaker 1: online and on the phone, there was an opening to
Speaker 1: meet up. On the way back from the conference, they
Speaker 1: met in the parking lot of a sporting goods store.
Speaker 1: But here was the information internal affairs was really after
Speaker 1: had Joel used his police car to have sex with her?
Speaker 1: And was it while he was on duty?
Speaker 9: Was there anything in that vehicle that made you think
Speaker 9: that it was probably not his personal vehicle?
Speaker 15: The radio police for radio of Canner.
Speaker 4: Or whatever you call him.
Speaker 9: You got into a silver ESUV you don't remember the
Speaker 9: maker model, but you believe it was a police vehicle
Speaker 9: because it has a radio in it. Maybe there for
Speaker 9: twenty to thirty minutes, and you engaged in vaginal sex
Speaker 9: in the backseat of that vehicle. Yeah, And other than that,
Speaker 9: there was no other meetings. You've still talked as friends,
Speaker 9: but no sex. No, no, And let me ask this.
Speaker 9: I was reading through some text messages between you and Joel,
Speaker 9: and one of them says like something about there's been
Speaker 9: some drama and I've deleted everything not to worry about it.
Speaker 9: Do you remember that text thread?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 9: What was that about?
Speaker 1: I mean, he told me that.
Speaker 15: There was something going on.
Speaker 2: I didn't really go into detail, but I guess I
Speaker 2: wasn't surprise when I got your message yesterday.
Speaker 1: Despite Joel's adamant denials, it appeared he had in fact
Speaker 1: had sex in his police vehicle during work hours. CSPD
Speaker 1: conducted a full investigation. Internal affairs even ordered a forensic
Speaker 1: analysis of the car's interior. They determined that the complaint
Speaker 1: was true. Joel had been having sex with women in
Speaker 1: his police car in public on company time. On April eleventh,
Speaker 1: Joel was summoned to a meeting with his commander, and
Speaker 1: you'll hear that meeting in a later episode. And it
Speaker 1: was on that day that he could no longer hide
Speaker 1: the investigation from Caroline and their kids. In the early
Speaker 1: evening on April eleventh, twenty twenty two, Joel was home
Speaker 1: with his family. Caroline and Nicole sat huddled together on
Speaker 1: the living room sofa. There were tears, accusations, and grief.
Speaker 1: Their son was on speakerphone from college, alternating between anguish
Speaker 1: and disgust. As he sat in our home.
Speaker 4: He swore up and down to the kids. It was
Speaker 4: only two times. It was only these two people.
Speaker 9: That's it.
Speaker 4: It was only these two people.
Speaker 1: He was only admitting to what the CSPD had already uncovered. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: he told his family a tearful story about what happened.
Speaker 4: He said, I started going down a rabbit hole online
Speaker 4: when I worked at night, and I would see these
Speaker 4: different websites, and out of curiosity, I started corresponding with
Speaker 4: different people on different websites, and that's how I met
Speaker 4: these two people. It was only these two times. It
Speaker 4: was only these two times.
Speaker 5: I was just astonished that he could do this to
Speaker 5: our family.
Speaker 6: Well I could keep saying, was how could you do
Speaker 6: this to my mom and my sister? How could you
Speaker 6: do this?
Speaker 4: You know, it's one thing to try to digest that
Speaker 4: when you have just been but traded by your spouse,
Speaker 4: But see here and watch your kids. It's just a
Speaker 4: completely different level.
Speaker 1: Joel insisted that he only had been unfaithful with two people,
Speaker 1: but Caroline wasn't naive. She knew there had to be more.
Speaker 16: You know, I had enough sense to say, if I
Speaker 16: secure a divorce attorney and they were to do an
Speaker 16: open records Request Act, what else would they find in
Speaker 16: your file, and he looked terrified.
Speaker 1: With Caroline's words still hanging in the air, Joel dropped
Speaker 1: another bombshell. Back in episode one. We learned he'd been
Speaker 1: tapped for one of the departments and most sought after roles,
Speaker 1: the public information officer. He'd be the face of the department,
Speaker 1: the media liaison, the voice. He'd already done the job temporarily,
Speaker 1: then out of nowhere, the offer vanished.
Speaker 4: He said, I had a falling out with the chief.
Speaker 4: And I said, you had a falling out with the
Speaker 4: chief of police, and he said, I had a falling
Speaker 4: out with him, and he's taken away my opportunity to
Speaker 4: be the public information officer.
Speaker 1: But that had been a lie. There hadn't been an
Speaker 1: issue with the chief. The issue had been with Joel.
Speaker 4: He did not get the public information officer position because
Speaker 4: of sexual harassment.
Speaker 1: While Joel served as temporary public Information officer in twenty sixteen,
Speaker 1: he asked female reporters to use an encrypted app to
Speaker 1: communicate with him, and what he said there unnerved the reporters.
Speaker 1: When one reporter heard Joel Kern was going to be
Speaker 1: appointed the permanent Public Information officer in twenty nineteen, She
Speaker 1: was alarmed and wrote a letter here's how it began,
Speaker 1: to the Colorado Springs Police Department. I'm writing to voice
Speaker 1: my concerns about naming Lieutenant Jul Kern the next PIO.
Speaker 1: To accuse anyone of inappropriate behavior is a risk, But
Speaker 1: to accuse an officer, especially one that controls which media
Speaker 1: members get information and how fast, could be career suicide.
Speaker 1: But that is what most emboldened me to voice my concerns. Now,
Speaker 1: this letter led to Joel Kern's first internal affairs investigation
Speaker 1: for sexually harassing female news reporters. The CSPB started by
Speaker 1: interviewing the reporter that wrote the letter.
Speaker 11: This is Commander tisshow Shewski with Calar Springs Police Department
Speaker 11: Internal Affairs Section. Today's February seventh, twenty nineteen.
Speaker 1: Internal Affairs asked the reporter about the app J'll ask
Speaker 1: her to download.
Speaker 14: He encouraged me to get the WhatsApp so that we
Speaker 14: could communicate in a way that his phone would be
Speaker 14: more secure from the police department, as in, if he
Speaker 14: was giving me tips of some sort, so that it
Speaker 14: would be encrypted and it would be on his personal
Speaker 14: phone and it could be taken that kind of stuff.
Speaker 14: You never explicitly said, do you want to do anything
Speaker 14: with me? Or like he never explicitly asked me out,
Speaker 14: or you know, things like that. Nature it's all very sneaky,
Speaker 14: and about interpretation, they.
Speaker 17: Mean my sneaky.
Speaker 14: Sneaky as in he would use words that would be
Speaker 14: suggestive or language that would be suggestive, and it felt
Speaker 14: to me like a test to see how I took it.
Speaker 14: He brought up sexual relations with his wife, and again
Speaker 14: I don't remember exactly what was said, but I remember
Speaker 14: that he was on vacation or at his son's base,
Speaker 14: or not baseball, but some kind of sporting event away,
Speaker 14: and he mentioned like something along the lines of, you know,
Speaker 14: maybe I'll get lucky, or when you have kids, the
Speaker 14: only time you have sex is when you're away, or
Speaker 14: something like that. That obviously was inappropriate and kind of
Speaker 14: opened the door if I wanted to talk about sexual relations.
Speaker 11: You had wrote that this became obvious that the friendlier
Speaker 11: I was, the more beneficial it could be. So tell
Speaker 11: me about this.
Speaker 2: Do you mean by friendlier if.
Speaker 14: I would have accepted his advances or been sexual in return,
Speaker 14: or you know, when I explained, I felt like he
Speaker 14: was opened the door to talk about my sexual life.
Speaker 14: If I would have done that kind of stuff, like
Speaker 14: just given that green light that I'm okay with this behavior.
Speaker 2: Okay, So what was the benefit?
Speaker 14: The benefit was the whole point in telling us, telling
Speaker 14: me to get what zapp was. You know, this was
Speaker 14: a way for him to give us tips. So the
Speaker 14: benefit was if we're friendly, if we had this good relationship,
Speaker 14: then he would give us good scoops and tips about
Speaker 14: things going on in the police department.
Speaker 1: The reporter knew of other women who felt the same way,
Speaker 1: but they either decided it was too risky to complain
Speaker 1: or felt it didn't rise to the level of needing
Speaker 1: to report. So without any other complaints, the investigation was
Speaker 1: relatively thin and it looked like Joel was going to
Speaker 1: talk his way out of this one. We actually received
Speaker 1: the recording of Joel doing exactly that.
Speaker 11: This is Commander of Ta Sholshski with Closhman's Police Department
Speaker 11: Professional Standards Division. Today is February eleventh, twenty nineteen. I
Speaker 11: am interviewing Lieutenant Joel Kern in regards to internal Affairs
Speaker 11: case nineteen zero three zero.
Speaker 1: Oszewski asked Joel to explain why he had urged reporters
Speaker 1: to download WhatsApp, an encrypted app that his supervisors couldn't monitor.
Speaker 1: This was a violation of department rules and Joel knew it.
Speaker 2: At the time.
Speaker 18: There was like this big thing in the media about
Speaker 18: you know, stories being lead and released, and then there's
Speaker 18: different apps that people communicate to reporters about to be
Speaker 18: like a safe method of communication with the reporters or whatever,
Speaker 18: safe meaning like secure.
Speaker 1: At first, Joel said it was for security, but the
Speaker 1: IA officer wasn't by I'm not.
Speaker 11: I guess I don't understand if you're worried about stories leaking.
Speaker 11: Why was it only these two women?
Speaker 18: Well, I mean, I see where you're going with that.
Speaker 18: And again it's because I was communicating with them the most,
Speaker 18: like one.
Speaker 2: That was always asking the questions the most. I don't
Speaker 2: think it was anything that would be like a targeting
Speaker 2: thing or anything like that.
Speaker 11: Were you trying to just target? When you say target,
Speaker 11: I mean I think get more friendlier with those two,
Speaker 11: maybe hoping it might go somewhere.
Speaker 18: I think if I was honest with myself, then I
Speaker 18: would say, yeah, that would be an a curious statement.
Speaker 14: Are they young?
Speaker 2: Are they old or middle aged. I guess like twenties, arly, thirties.
Speaker 11: Okay, middle aged Joel, it's like fifty okay.
Speaker 2: Are they attractive? Are they not?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 11: So you were that you were singling those two out
Speaker 11: for the WhatsApp of it.
Speaker 18: That sounds bad, But yeah, I think that, if I'm
Speaker 18: honest with myself, that would be a fair statement. You know,
Speaker 18: they're very smart and like I say, waity, and there's
Speaker 18: fun to talk to. And then so I think then
Speaker 18: that's where the flirtation came in, and then the sexual innuindo.
Speaker 18: It wouldn't be something that I'd want my wife or
Speaker 18: kids reading obviously.
Speaker 11: So Joe, when you're talking about the flirtation, was that
Speaker 11: on your part?
Speaker 2: Well, whose part was that on?
Speaker 18: I think it was. I think it's like mutual flirtation.
Speaker 18: And then.
Speaker 2: Things weren't good at.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: As the conversation gets to the heart of the issue,
Speaker 1: his abuse of power, Joel pivots he wells up with
Speaker 1: tears and changes the subject too what he's been going
Speaker 1: through recently.
Speaker 11: Why did you have these conversations with them, the sexual
Speaker 11: innuendo conversation.
Speaker 18: That was in a bad place with my marriage at
Speaker 18: the time and emotionally, and then I think I got
Speaker 18: maybe just like sucked into a trap or reading things
Speaker 18: into things that were being said that we're not really there.
Speaker 1: Caroline had no idea her marriage was in a bad
Speaker 1: place in twenty nineteen. If you remember from episode one,
Speaker 1: Caroline shared Joel had a few breakdowns and ultimately started therapy.
Speaker 1: He had mentioned witnessing the carnage from fatal accident scenes
Speaker 1: and his fear about their kids starting to drive, but
Speaker 1: she'd been there for him and they worked through it
Speaker 1: as a couple. As the interview continued, Joel read the room,
Speaker 1: he realized his best strategy would be to fall on
Speaker 1: the sword.
Speaker 2: I'm embarrassed, I'm humiliated, I'm ashamed. I know what I did.
Speaker 2: I was wrong. I'm very sorry for it, and.
Speaker 15: I've taken proactive steps to help myself get better again.
Speaker 15: I take four responsibility for my actions, and I asked
Speaker 15: for mercy.
Speaker 1: Joel had been on the record pleading for mercy three
Speaker 1: years before his official suspension, which was on April eleventh,
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two, and on April eleventh, the truth was
Speaker 1: finally being laid bare. In their living room, Caroline and
Speaker 1: their daughter were on the couch and their son was
Speaker 1: on speakerphone. They listened to Joel confess that he'd been
Speaker 1: lying and covering his tracks for years.
Speaker 4: And then he went on a tirade of continuing to
Speaker 4: blame me and said that he didn't think we had
Speaker 4: sex enough, and then he started making crass comments about
Speaker 4: his sexual needs. Our daughter was just wailing and crying,
Speaker 4: and our son hung up. He never removed his wedding ring.
Speaker 4: He always kept an one.
Speaker 1: But then he.
Speaker 4: Struggled for a long time, but finally gets his ring off.
Speaker 4: Inside of it I had engraved forever and ever, sets
Speaker 4: it down on the fireplace, walks over and fills up
Speaker 4: his yetti cup, and just walked out the door.
Speaker 1: Caroline's entire world had come apart in a single afternoon. Immediately,
Speaker 1: she reached out to a close friend who would soon
Speaker 1: take on a greater role in her life.
Speaker 17: My name is Don and I'm a family law attorney.
Speaker 1: Don was a good friend to both Caroline and Joel.
Speaker 17: I was shocked, absolutely shocked when I heard the news.
Speaker 17: For me to not even have an inkling of his
Speaker 17: other side, I guess bothered me because I usually have
Speaker 17: a pretty good gut feeling about people.
Speaker 1: Don normally made it policy not to represent her friends
Speaker 1: in a divorce, but she made an exception this time,
Speaker 1: not so much for Caroline, but for the kids.
Speaker 17: The children are very proud of their parents' accomplishments. They
Speaker 17: really appreciated and respected what they did. That was part
Speaker 17: of their identity is that their parents were so great.
Speaker 17: So when this all happened, my inkling for the children
Speaker 17: was everything that they know, everything that they thought was
Speaker 17: good and pure or whatever real is not.
Speaker 1: The kids had to find a way to keep going.
Speaker 1: Their son wanted to come home from college, but Caroline
Speaker 1: wouldn't allow it, and their daughter.
Speaker 5: Everything happened on a Monday, and that Wednesday, I took
Speaker 5: my SATs. I had a plan, like I still needed
Speaker 5: to go to college. So, you know, she kind of ingraining.
Speaker 5: I guess, the sort of motivation where you need to
Speaker 5: do something, you just get it done.
Speaker 1: As for Caroline, she was on autopilot. Her friends came
Speaker 1: to her with some unsettling but important advice.
Speaker 4: You know, they let me know, you really should set
Speaker 4: doctor's appointment to make sure that I don't have anything
Speaker 4: and have a full STI STD screen and so I
Speaker 4: called this facility, humili asked if I could schedule an
Speaker 4: appointment specifically for this. They said yes, And when I
Speaker 4: walked in, I tried to keep myself together. And then
Speaker 4: I sat in the exam room and this nurse practitioner
Speaker 4: who I had seen dozens of times for my kids'
Speaker 4: sports physicals, she walked in the room and I just
Speaker 4: immediately lost it. I'm in this exam room, I'm crying.
Speaker 4: I'm telling her these very personal details of what's just
Speaker 4: been revealed. And so she does a full exam and
Speaker 4: she leaves the room, and when she came back in,
Speaker 4: she just had this horrible, fearful look on her face.
Speaker 4: And I just was sobbing, and I said, you can
Speaker 4: tell I have something, can't you. You can already tell I
Speaker 4: have something, And she shook her head and she said no.
Speaker 4: She was debating on telling me that Joel had essentially
Speaker 4: been blacklisted from seeing her because he had come in
Speaker 4: four different appointments before and had been and appropriate with
Speaker 4: his commentary and very sexualized with his commentary toward her.
Speaker 4: And I was mortified. And she said, given what I
Speaker 4: was going through, if she was in my shoes, she'd
Speaker 4: want to know.
Speaker 1: Caroline had asdrol repeatedly, what else, what else have you done?
Speaker 1: She didn't want any more surprises. There had to be
Speaker 1: more than just two affairs, and this experience was confirmation
Speaker 1: that her instincts were dead on.
Speaker 4: I was just humiliated hearing from another female that my
Speaker 4: husband had approached them in a manner that made them
Speaker 4: feel so uncomfortable that they could not even professionally see.
Speaker 4: It was humiliating, absolutely humiliating. I got to the parking
Speaker 4: lot and I called him and he answered, and I
Speaker 4: said to him, this is what was just told to me.
Speaker 4: And he was very calm, and he said, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: And I said, you knew this and he said yes,
Speaker 4: they let me know, and I knew how I behaved,
Speaker 4: and I'm embarrassed. And he was just so matter of
Speaker 4: fact about it. And I was infuriated, absolutely infuriated. And
Speaker 4: I saw his location and I drove to the campsite
Speaker 4: where he was at at the RV park.
Speaker 1: Joel was staying in their family RV at a campground.
Speaker 4: And I just started banging on the door and he
Speaker 4: opened the door and I told him, do not lie
Speaker 4: to me, do not lie to me. I want to
Speaker 4: know what you have done. You are someone who I
Speaker 4: don't even know, and I want to know the secret
Speaker 4: life that you have lived behind our backs.
Speaker 1: Nicole was at school when she noticed Caroline's location on
Speaker 1: their Family Life three sixty app.
Speaker 19: I don't really want to have my mom alone with
Speaker 19: my dad because I was really scared of my dad
Speaker 19: because I thought like he did all this stuff without
Speaker 19: us knowing.
Speaker 4: I don't know what he's capable of. Next thing you know,
Speaker 4: there's banging at the door of our RV. She just
Speaker 4: got up and left her classroom at the high school
Speaker 4: and drove to where we were at, And as we
Speaker 4: were sitting there, she walked calmly over to a laptop
Speaker 4: he had taken from our home.
Speaker 1: Nicole grabbed Joel's computer and started looking through it, logging
Speaker 1: onto various websites, and reading his emails and text messages.
Speaker 1: They were there for the truth. All those long nights
Speaker 1: on duty. What else had Joel been up to? How
Speaker 1: far did his misconduct go?
Speaker 4: Suddenly, through our daughter's forensic reveal of his computer, the
Speaker 4: number of people he had sex with just started growing dramatically.
Speaker 1: Nicole dialed in her older brother. She wanted him to
Speaker 1: hear everything, so it became the next family meeting, and
Speaker 1: then Nicole started recording on her phone. She wanted documentation.
Speaker 1: She and her mom were running on adrenaline.
Speaker 14: Cat'en mouse, Cat and mouse, Cat and mouse. You just
Speaker 14: have to keep being caught.
Speaker 1: Why can't you just spell it all out?
Speaker 2: Because I can't remember everything because you.
Speaker 1: Had so many people.
Speaker 12: How many people didn't talk to fifteen one hundred? What's
Speaker 12: the range?
Speaker 2: Fifty sounds good?
Speaker 4: How many times did you actually physically meet someone?
Speaker 2: This is why I'm telling you, like around the seven.
Speaker 12: And then another thought I had today, I cannot drive
Speaker 12: around the city without questioning. I wonder if my dad
Speaker 12: received oral sex and was working lot. Remember that day
Speaker 12: we went to Memorial Park. We looked at the.
Speaker 4: Police memorial and all that you wanted us to see
Speaker 4: the police memorial.
Speaker 12: We ran races over by Memorial Park.
Speaker 1: Memorial Park was where Joel met the first woman to
Speaker 1: have sex in his cop car. At first, he denied
Speaker 1: he was working when they met up. But then I
Speaker 1: know where it told.
Speaker 20: You after work earlier, but I'm pretty sure it was
Speaker 20: like mid morning or lunchtime or whatever. And then went
Speaker 20: back to work and then worked out and took a
Speaker 20: shower and all that.
Speaker 4: So you left work, went and had sex with someone
Speaker 4: on the city's dime.
Speaker 1: Everyone thought Joel was one of the good ones, an
Speaker 1: honorable cop. They had sacrificed so much for his career.
Speaker 1: She didn't recognize this man. In fact, she didn't recognize
Speaker 1: her life at all. Her life was now split into two,
Speaker 1: two realities running parallel tracks. There were her memories, and
Speaker 1: then there was everything Joel was doing behind her back.
Speaker 1: All of those late nights, the miss sports games, the holidays.
Speaker 1: Where was he Her brain never went there. She didn't
Speaker 1: know what was real anymore. It was a sad and
Speaker 1: terrifying feeling.
Speaker 4: The kids and I thought we were living this life
Speaker 4: of love and a family. I'm purity more things perfect,
Speaker 4: of course not do we argue about taking trash out
Speaker 4: and who was going to kick up from dinner yup?
Speaker 4: But never did I think that anything like this was
Speaker 4: going on behind our backs.
Speaker 1: Ever, So was this finally the full picture? We're all
Speaker 1: of Joel's secrets out in the open. No, not even close.
Speaker 1: Here's Caroline and Joel's son.
Speaker 6: I'm not naive to the fact that all of us
Speaker 6: are human, and everybody makes mistakes and everybody has their shortcomings,
Speaker 6: and everybody has flaws and demons that they with, But
Speaker 6: to me, there's a clear line here between being a
Speaker 6: fallible person and monstrosity.
Speaker 1: On the next episode of Betrayal, Caroline comes to the
Speaker 1: realization that Joel has been gaslighting her for years.
Speaker 4: So I'm literally watching the phone where I can see
Speaker 4: him speeding to our house. He's not at another accident,
Speaker 4: he's not at the hospital. He's coming from somewhere. And
Speaker 4: so when he got home, I said, are you lying
Speaker 4: to me?
Speaker 1: And more revelations about his double life are exposed. Thank
Speaker 1: you for listening to Betrayal season four. If you would
Speaker 1: like to reach out to the Betrayal team, email us
Speaker 1: at Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Also, please be sure to follow
Speaker 1: us on Instagram at Betrayal Pod and me Andrea H.
Speaker 1: Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates. One way
Speaker 1: to support the series is by subscribing to our show
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal. Five star
Speaker 1: reviews help us know you appreciate what we do. Betrayal
Speaker 1: is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of Glass
Speaker 1: Entertainment Group in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show is
Speaker 1: executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason. Betrayal is
Speaker 1: hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and produced
Speaker 1: by Carrie Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our associate
Speaker 1: producers are Caitlin Golden and Kristin Melcurie. Our iHeart team
Speaker 1: is Ali Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Story editing by Monique Leboard,
Speaker 1: audio editing and mixing by Matt Delvecchio, editing by Tanner Robbins,
Speaker 1: and special thanks to Caroline and her family. Betrayal's theme
Speaker 1: is composed by Oliver Bains. Music library provided by my
Speaker 1: Music and For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts,