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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: It's not pushing past the pay it's sitting and receiving

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Speaker 2: and knowing and trusting and having faith that they're right

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Speaker 2: here with you.

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Speaker 3: Hey lady, have you ever felt like the world just

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Speaker 3: doesn't get you? Well, we do.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, the podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 1: and empowering women like you.

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Speaker 3: We're your hosts, doctor Dominique Brussard and educator and psychologists.

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Speaker 1: And Terry Lomax, a techie and transformational speaker.

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Speaker 3: Join us every week for authentic conversations about everything from

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Speaker 3: fibroids to fake friends as we create space for black

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Speaker 3: women to just be.

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Speaker 1: Before we dive in, make sure you hit that follow

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Speaker 1: button and leave us a quick five star review. Lady,

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Speaker 1: we are black founded and black owned, and your support

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Speaker 1: will help us reach even more women like you.

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Speaker 3: Now, let's get into this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 1: If you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure of your next steps,

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Speaker 1: this is for you. Hey, lady, is Tea here and

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Speaker 1: I just want to invite you to my free goal

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Speaker 1: map like a pro coaching workshop, where I'll share the

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Speaker 1: five proven steps to get unstuck and achieve your goals.

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Speaker 1: Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by all your ideas, juggling scattered ideas,

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Speaker 1: or maybe you just need confidence to start, this workshop

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Speaker 1: will give you the clarity, tools and the motivation to

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Speaker 1: take back control. Reserve your spot for free by visiting

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Speaker 1: her spacepodcast dot com and clicking on the goal map

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Speaker 1: like a pro webinar link.

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Speaker 4: Lady, don't miss this.

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Speaker 1: Chance to build a roadmap that fits your life and

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Speaker 1: set you up for success. I hope to see you there, lady. Today,

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Speaker 1: we have a special guest that we are so excited for. Okay,

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Speaker 1: there's so much that we can say. I'm going to

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Speaker 1: try to stay focused and just read her bio and

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Speaker 1: then we're just gonna jump on in.

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Speaker 4: Okay. Dominique B.

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Speaker 1: Flucker is a multifaceted creative who brings substance to storytelling.

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Speaker 1: She's a nationally recognized multimedia journalist, content creator, moderator, interior

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Speaker 1: designed storyteller. Previously, Dominique served as contributing lifestyle editor Essence Magazine,

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Speaker 1: editorial manager at LinkedIn, SMB marketing manager at Instagram, editorial

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Speaker 1: content marketing manager at Glassdoor, and content Marketing manager for

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Speaker 1: Business Accounts and SMB Growth and at TikTok. The resume

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Speaker 1: is resume at Okay y'all. She has created purpose driven

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Speaker 1: and multicultural content for iconic web and print publications including Forbes, Women,

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Speaker 1: Glamour Magazine, Essence Magazine, Business Insider, Women's Health Variety, and more.

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Speaker 1: As a culture and entertainment enthusiast, she has interviewed legendary

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Speaker 1: celebrities including Oprah Okay, Oprah y'all, Tony Braxton, John Legend,

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Speaker 1: Tracy Ellis, Ross Sheryl Lee, Ralph Robin Roberts, and Serena Williams,

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Speaker 1: among others. There is so much more that we could

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Speaker 1: say about Dominique. Her bio and resume is just it's incredible.

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Speaker 1: But we're gonna let you hear more about her and

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Speaker 1: her words. So Dominique, welcome to cultivating her space.

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Speaker 5: Or Hi everyone, Thank you so much.

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Speaker 2: I really appreciate you welcoming me and I'm happy to

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Speaker 2: be here.

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Speaker 4: You're so welcome.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we are definitely looking forward to this conversation, and

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Speaker 3: so we're gonna move into our quote of the day

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Speaker 3: and Dominique, this quote will sound familiar to you because

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Speaker 3: these are your words. Oh, I'm committed to uplifting Black

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Speaker 3: women through words and an exploration of difficults but necessary topics. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna say that one more time for the folks

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Speaker 3: in the back. I'm committed to uplifting Black women through

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Speaker 3: words and exploration of difficult but necessary topics.

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Speaker 5: Mean, okay, I anique.

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Speaker 3: When you when you hear this quoll, when you hear

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Speaker 3: your words reflected back to you, what comes up for you?

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Speaker 2: Just the severity of that commitment. That is a pledge

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Speaker 2: and to black women, and I have sworn by it,

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Speaker 2: and I've tried my very hardest to honor that pledge.

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Speaker 2: And I think with black women especially, we really need

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Speaker 2: content that resonates with us, and we also need a

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Speaker 2: safe space to tell our stories. And that has been

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Speaker 2: at the core of my work across many different industries,

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Speaker 2: but specifically at Essence, where I've covered the gamut of

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Speaker 2: health and wellness, lifestyle, love and relationships, sex, column, you

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Speaker 2: name it, and also have done empathy led and based

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Speaker 2: interviews with the celebrities that we're mentioned and more. And

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Speaker 2: I think through line is the empathy, listening, and compassion

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Speaker 2: for Black women and our nuanced.

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Speaker 1: Stories it's so beautifully stated. Thank you so much for that, Dominique.

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Speaker 1: And we have so many other questions that we want

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Speaker 1: to ask you, but we want to start. I guess

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Speaker 1: you could say at the beginning, so could you tell

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Speaker 1: us what is your origin story? How did you become

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Speaker 1: the Dominique b Flucker that we see today?

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Speaker 5: Thank you so much, Such an honor to see that question.

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Speaker 2: I find that I'm a learner at my core, and

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Speaker 2: I always want to continue to evolve, and I really

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Speaker 2: have just gone with what I've been passionate about over

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Speaker 2: the years and especially with my career, and it's always

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Speaker 2: led me to storytelling. But more specifically, I think I've

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Speaker 2: come to this point of deeper aspiration, rooted in intention

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Speaker 2: on how I'd like to continue my own legacy when

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Speaker 2: it comes to storytelling, whether that's editorial, television or any

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Speaker 2: other platform. And I think what's got me here is

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Speaker 2: belief in myself, a lot of different type of sacrifices

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Speaker 2: and grit, and also grace for my big dreams. I

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Speaker 2: think sometimes we tend to dream and we're like, no,

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Speaker 2: we can't get that to we can't.

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Speaker 5: Do it, and you know we're manifesting.

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Speaker 2: We're fasting, we're praying, but I think the component is

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Speaker 2: another needed component is actually believing that you can execute

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Speaker 2: and do the work, and also building community that can

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Speaker 2: help you achieve those dreams. I've learned over the years

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Speaker 2: from graduating from Sarah Lawrence College by undergrad schools that

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Speaker 2: you know, it might sound cliche, but no dream is

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Speaker 2: out of reach, and I think it's all about positioning

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Speaker 2: and really having that confidence to go for it. I

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Speaker 2: feel like I've gotten a dose of reality, you know,

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Speaker 2: in my personal life, and I'm sure we'll talk about

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Speaker 2: it more that life is short. Life is extremely short,

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Speaker 2: so I kind of use that trauma and pain.

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Speaker 5: To just really disco for it.

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Speaker 2: And I surprised myself sometimes I'm like, oh, my goodness, But.

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Speaker 5: I think that's good.

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Speaker 2: I think you should always be striving for more and

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Speaker 2: not like an arrogance sense, not for cloud, not for anything,

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Speaker 2: but just for yourself and your community.

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Speaker 5: I think once.

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Speaker 2: You kind of get that understanding that you no, no

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Speaker 2: dream is too big, that can inspire others to just

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Speaker 2: go for their purpose. And it's not about chasing money.

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Speaker 2: It's about chasing your purpose always.

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Speaker 3: Oh I love that it's not about money it's about

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Speaker 3: chasing your purpose always.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And so, as I was listening to you share your

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Speaker 3: origin story, it made me think about So, your Instagram

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Speaker 3: is a beautiful timeline to your work but also your

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Speaker 3: personal life. And one of the posts that you shared

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Speaker 3: was a photo of you and Susan Taylor from years

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Speaker 3: ago and I don't remember. I don't remember the exact year,

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Speaker 3: but in the caption you talk about your dad took

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Speaker 3: that photo.

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I wish he was still here. Yeah, my

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Speaker 2: dad took that photo of Susan L. Taylor and I

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Speaker 2: in twenty eleven. At So, my dad was a photojournalist

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Speaker 2: at the Oaken Tribune and I used to go with

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Speaker 2: him on assignments all the time, and I was tagging along.

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Speaker 2: I believe I was home for a winter break from

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Speaker 2: Sarah Lawrence College. And he's like, my dad was super animated.

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Speaker 5: That's where I get it from. He's like, move out,

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Speaker 5: like you know, pushing people. I was like, oh my god,

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Speaker 5: that's embears.

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Speaker 2: You know, move off the way. My daughter has to

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Speaker 2: get a picture with Susan L.

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Speaker 5: Taylor.

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Speaker 2: She's gonna work for her one day, She's gonna work

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Speaker 2: for the magazine and I'm just like, you know, I

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Speaker 2: always thought my parents, both of them are deceased, and

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Speaker 2: we can talk about that a little later.

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Speaker 5: I had these outlandish dreams for me.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 5: Another funny stories that my mom.

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Speaker 2: She would say, you know what, Tommy, when you get famous,

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Speaker 2: need to drop slugger. It just should be Dominique Brielle.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, Ma, what is going on here?

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Speaker 2: But I do I do give them all the credit

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Speaker 2: for that type of confidence, but also making sure that

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Speaker 2: I'm grounded, and they just wanted me to soar no

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Speaker 2: matter what the profession was. But I think my dad

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Speaker 2: had so much respect for Susan L. Taylor and essence

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Speaker 2: and the legacy that is that publication more like an

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Speaker 2: institution at this point of fifty five years in County

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Speaker 2: and it's you know, it's been one of the honors

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Speaker 2: of my life to be associated with the publication for

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Speaker 2: many years before I transitioned into being an editor three

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Speaker 2: years ago.

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Speaker 1: Oh, we can't wait to get no more stories about

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Speaker 1: your parents. That is such a fun story. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for I can visualize this so thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for sharing that, Dominique. Now, Dominique, we have again a

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Speaker 1: lot of other questions for you, but we want to

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Speaker 1: shift up the energy a little bit. Yes, and because

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Speaker 1: we recognize, appreciate, and celebrate the multifaceted woman, and we

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Speaker 1: believe that it's okay to be bougie, classy and ratchet. Right,

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Speaker 1: you can still be elegant, all three of them are.

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Speaker 1: You can still be elegant and dance to strip club

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Speaker 1: music if you so choose. We want to invite you

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Speaker 1: to the oh you blatchet segment? Do you take on

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Speaker 1: the challenge?

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Speaker 5: Excited? Challenge me up?

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Speaker 4: Girls? All right?

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Speaker 1: All right, So now that you've agreed, you and we're

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Speaker 1: going to tell you what to expect. Okay, So we

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Speaker 1: have three questions for you. Okay, we have three sentence completions,

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Speaker 1: and then we have three photos pulled up of you. You

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Speaker 1: see me looking up. I'm looking at the photos. We

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Speaker 1: have three photos pulled up of you that will share

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Speaker 1: with you on the big screen. But we want you

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Speaker 1: to choose a number out of one and three and

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Speaker 1: then we'll share one of those photos with you, and

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Speaker 1: we want you to take a look.

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Speaker 4: At the photo, describe it.

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Speaker 1: For folks that are not watching us in the interview,

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Speaker 1: they're only listening to the audio and then give us

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Speaker 1: some context about the photo that we wouldn't know just

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Speaker 1: by looking at it.

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Speaker 5: So and I have many spread photos.

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Speaker 1: It's oh, yeah, we can't wait, we can't wait, So

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Speaker 1: I'm paying for one.

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Speaker 5: I think, yeah, we wouldn't.

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Speaker 4: Go number one.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so we're gonna we're already ready with the pictures.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna show you the picture after we asked

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Speaker 1: the questions and do the sentence completions. But it's already cute. Up,

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Speaker 1: it's ready to go. And it's a cute one too.

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Speaker 1: So we're gonna ease into the segment. And the first

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Speaker 1: question is what's the best piece of wisdom or advice

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Speaker 1: you've ever received, Like thinking about all the verticals and

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Speaker 1: industries you've been in, the advice your parents gave you, Like,

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Speaker 1: what's the one piece where you're like, this is the one?

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Speaker 5: You know what.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna go with my mother's advice. I mean she

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Speaker 2: was a straight shooter and.

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Speaker 5: She would just.

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Speaker 2: Say to me, be honest, don't lie, be on And

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Speaker 2: I think that has guided me. And you know she

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Speaker 2: used to say that to me when I was younger, Tommy,

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Speaker 2: don't fit be honest, tell me the truth, and I

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Speaker 2: think that has spend my through line with all the

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Speaker 2: different industries. You know, I produce honest work, I tell

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Speaker 2: it like it is, and I curate honest and truthful

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Speaker 2: interview questions and conversations ones that we need to talk

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Speaker 2: about in our black community.

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Speaker 5: So I think it's always be truthful.

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Speaker 4: Good one, thank you.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I love that. Okay, Now that was that was

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Speaker 3: so profound. This next question is not profound at all.

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Speaker 3: We're switching gears, okay, and so this next question, uh huh.

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Speaker 3: When you hear your favorite song, come on, are you

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Speaker 3: gonna twork?

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Speaker 4: Or two steps?

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Speaker 2: I'm twerking, all right, we're here for.

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Speaker 4: Work.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Like I'm not all over, but I'm you know,

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Speaker 2: I'm turking.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we love it, we love it, hey, Dominic. The

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Speaker 1: next question for you is what's the sexiest item you own?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the sexiest item my own is lingerie. Yes, a

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Speaker 2: girl needs her lingerie items and a very.

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Speaker 5: Grown woman needs her. Yeah, it's just black. It's just black.

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Speaker 5: But I also find.

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Speaker 2: Like robes and kimonos really sexy too, So that one

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Speaker 2: from Japan that's all silk, and it's just so wonderful

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Speaker 2: to put on or check off. So go ahead, that's right,

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Speaker 2: come on.

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Speaker 3: Okay, and so now for our sentence completion. One question

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Speaker 3: or topic I wish people asked me about more often is.

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Speaker 5: Sex. You know, I have a sex column. It's called

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Speaker 5: out Sex. I don't know why people can associate.

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Speaker 2: Me with sex, and I think that's you know, part

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Speaker 2: of the reason outside of wanting to delve into these

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Speaker 2: much needed topics, but also to expand my footprint with

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Speaker 2: this topic is very important topics talking about sex and

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Speaker 2: nuanced type of sex, all sex for black women specifically.

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Speaker 2: So I do sometimes get freshrated, like you know, I

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Speaker 2: know I'm petite and I'm cute, you know, but I

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Speaker 2: talk about sex, you know, and.

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Speaker 5: We all shouldn't gauge if we feel comfortable doing that

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Speaker 5: in sex.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I've had a couple of conversations We're like, no,

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Speaker 2: you don't talk about you know, and next thing, you know,

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Speaker 2: the person across from me is blushing.

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Speaker 5: I'm like okay, Like okay, yeah, right, Like let's let's

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Speaker 5: let's talk about it.

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Speaker 4: Let's talk about it.

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Speaker 2: You know, if you don't feel comfortable talked about it

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Speaker 2: with me, you can read about it. But we definitely

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Speaker 2: really get into the nitty gritty about all types of sex.

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Speaker 2: We've had BDSM, you know, topics uncovered, We've had anal surfacing,

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Speaker 2: We've had a shallowing.

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Speaker 5: Self pleasure, all of it.

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Speaker 2: And I think you know sex is a key component

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Speaker 2: to your overall wellness and happiness.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we love that so much, and dominic you and

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Speaker 1: I ever believe this right. So the next sentence completion

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Speaker 1: is what I would tell people about sex.

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Speaker 5: Is what I would tell people about sex is get.

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Speaker 3: Yours girl, Yes, yes, yes, that is a priority.

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Speaker 2: Okay, that's what I would tell people, whether you're doing

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Speaker 2: individually or with a partner or multiple partners, meet yours

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Speaker 2: and enjoy.

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Speaker 5: Yes, yes, we're here for.

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Speaker 3: All our final sentence completion, Okay. What I love most

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Speaker 3: about myself is.

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Speaker 2: I'm so beautiful. I'm a beautiful person. Yes you are

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Speaker 2: inside and out. And I'm saying I know I'm my flaws,

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Speaker 2: but I know I'm a beautiful person.

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Speaker 5: That was easy to say that.

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Speaker 4: I had love.

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Speaker 1: I love how it just it rolled off your tongue,

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Speaker 1: and I hate I think wouldn't to be more confident

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Speaker 1: and comfortable with owning our beauty and what we bring.

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Speaker 4: To the table.

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Speaker 1: So yes for the confidence. We love that so much.

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Speaker 1: And speaking of confidence, we got this picture pulled up. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you said number one for the picture. So I'm looking

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Speaker 1: at the picture. This is a fire ass picture. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So Domini, can you I'm gonna share it on the

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Speaker 1: big screen. Can you describe the photo for people that

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Speaker 1: are only listening to the podcast? And then you got

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Speaker 1: to give us some context behind it because it is

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Speaker 1: so fire Let me go ahead and share my screen

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Speaker 1: all right now?

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Speaker 4: Oh my goodness, yes.

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Speaker 5: Oh gosh.

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Speaker 2: So I recently had a thirty third birthday. My birthday

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Speaker 2: is on August seventh, and I decided to do just

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Speaker 2: a fun photo shoot. Like I was just like, oh, like,

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Speaker 2: it's my Jesus here, I'm spiritual. But I also wanted

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Speaker 2: half of the birthday celebration to be kind of an

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Speaker 2: homage to myself and Leo fashion in terms and you know,

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Speaker 2: in two parts right, like we have the style here,

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Speaker 2: but we also wanted to well for me, I wanted

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Speaker 2: to acknowledge the parts of myself that got me here today.

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Speaker 2: And so what you're seeing here is me and a

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Speaker 2: body condress, a bb not a dupe.

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Speaker 5: It's a baby body condress I.

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Speaker 2: Ordered from bb theirself, and you know this this was

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Speaker 2: like a fun clubbing, like going out picture. It's a

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Speaker 2: pink a body con dress. I have my mother's pink

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Speaker 2: purse that she loved in some meals and a fabulous

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Speaker 2: tease ponytail that my stylist did. And I think this

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Speaker 2: was more so about honoring just the fun aspect of

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Speaker 2: myself and the eight girls of yesterday year in twenty ten,

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Speaker 2: the body con dress was such that the body caught

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Speaker 2: in bandage dress was so like popular back in the days,

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Speaker 2: you know, originated in two thousand and six, and then

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Speaker 2: the girls, you know, Nicki Minaj wore this version of

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Speaker 2: a dress up until twenty fourteen. And I just thought

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Speaker 2: this was such a fun way to honor the twenty

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Speaker 2: ten since it was a twenty tens photo shoot. So

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Speaker 2: I definitely I feel like I got a lot of

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Speaker 2: love on that picture.

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Speaker 5: So love it.

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Speaker 1: Yay, Thank you so much for shait and thank you

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Speaker 1: for playing along for though you've bletches segment, this is

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Speaker 1: always so fun.

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Speaker 4: Yes, so it's going to happen.

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Speaker 1: Yes, we're going to hop into some of these other

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Speaker 1: questions that we have for you because we do have

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Speaker 1: a few more. So we wanted to just talk about

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Speaker 1: your writing. You've written about the importance of healing through storytelling,

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Speaker 1: and we wanted to know how his storytelling and writing

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Speaker 1: and curating stories contributed to your own healing journey.

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Speaker 2: Oh definitely. I think one thing I prat myself on

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Speaker 2: is being an empathy led journalist because we're tackling so

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Speaker 2: many hard topics and discussions. I mean, you know, at essence,

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Speaker 2: lifestyle runs the gamut of health and wellness, love and relationships, sex,

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Speaker 2: mental health as well, and there were a lot of

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Speaker 2: stories that we had to tell too, and we also

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Speaker 2: had to tell it with kindness and compassion. And so

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Speaker 2: with me and Lucy and my parents at such a

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Speaker 2: young age, I've feel like I have that empathy chip,

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Speaker 2: and storytelling has been such an extension of healing because

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Speaker 2: I can resonate with pain and just kind of having

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Speaker 2: your whole world falling apart out of nowhere and dealing

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Speaker 2: with trauma and working through trauma and self care and

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Speaker 2: what does that mean like outside of bubble bass and candles,

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Speaker 2: how are you doing the real work to heal? So

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Speaker 2: I've spoken to dozens of therapists mental health experts, trauma

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Speaker 2: informed therapists and experts as well to really bring forth

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Speaker 2: stories that will help black women navigate the intricacies of

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Speaker 2: trauma and life changes. And so that definitely has helped.

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Speaker 2: And I also told my story, and I feel so

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Speaker 2: honored to have the opportunity to talk candidly about my

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Speaker 2: mom's passing and my dad passing in both.

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Speaker 5: The digital and print.

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Speaker 2: That's an honor because their names will forever be etched

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Speaker 2: in history, you.

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Speaker 5: Know, both in print in digital.

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Speaker 3: So that is a beautiful honor to your parents. And

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Speaker 3: so for those who are familiar in your work and

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Speaker 3: aren't familiar with your story, ken you tell us, take

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Speaker 3: a few moments and tell us about your parents.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my parents are wonderful, totally different personalities, but you know,

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Speaker 2: what happened to them was really really difficult for me

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Speaker 2: to grapple with. And I first lost my dad when

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Speaker 2: I was twenty years old and he was killed by

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Speaker 2: a stray bullet in Oakland. He was driving home one

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Speaker 2: night and there was a shootout at the gas station.

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Speaker 2: He was passing the gas station and then that's when

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Speaker 2: he was taking from us. And then ten years later

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Speaker 2: I recently lost my mom in twenty twenty three from glioblastoma.

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Speaker 2: It's a severe brain cancer, and so I was in

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Speaker 2: the hospitals with her and until her last breath, and

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Speaker 2: that was very difficult because I've experienced loss from two

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Speaker 2: sides of the spectrum. I always used to say, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know, I wish this it wasn't so sudden, and

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Speaker 2: maybe if he was sick it would be better. And

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Speaker 2: then I experienced my mom and I'm like, Okay, well

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Speaker 2: it just sucks in general. So at Essence and other publications,

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Speaker 2: I've also have spoken about my grief and my greeming process,

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Speaker 2: and I do think that has allowed people who look

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Speaker 2: like me and people who don't to resonate with the process.

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Speaker 2: And I do think a lot of people appreciate me

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Speaker 2: being so transparent about my journey in that way.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing that, DOMINIQ. People really

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Speaker 1: appreciate you and it, like you said earlier, it's such

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Speaker 1: a beautiful tribute to your parents to be able to

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Speaker 1: put their names in digital and print, to let their

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Speaker 1: legacy live on where we talk about legacy a lot

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Speaker 1: on the podcast, and I just wanted to know for

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Speaker 1: people who have lost a parent or parents at such

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Speaker 1: a young age, it can just be really devastating. Like

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Speaker 1: I think, I lost my dad when I was a teenager,

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Speaker 1: and I think about how I thought about all the

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Speaker 1: things in the future that I thought i'd experienced with him.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to hear from you. What do you think

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Speaker 1: you would share with people about how you've been able

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Speaker 1: to cope with that? But also do you have any

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Speaker 1: rituals or any practices that keep you connected to your

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Speaker 1: parents even though they're not on in this plane anymore?

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Speaker 2: Yes, And I thank you for sharing about your loss too.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry to hear that. And I love that you

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Speaker 2: say plane because I do believe. I'm a spiritual person.

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Speaker 2: Of course, I believe in God and Jesus as I

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Speaker 2: am a Christian. However i am I do I was

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Speaker 2: another spiritual side where and I think that's okay. You

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Speaker 2: know some people won't understand that, but it's not their journey,

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Speaker 2: it's mine. And I love that you said Plaine, because

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Speaker 2: I do believe that there's an ancestral plane and they

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Speaker 2: are not while they're not in this realm. And I've

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Speaker 2: said that on Instagram too. Is that you know both

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Speaker 2: my parents are not in this physical realm, but they're

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Speaker 2: in this spiritual realm, so there's two different planes, you know.

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Speaker 2: I speak out loud to them, like my mom and

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Speaker 2: I used to talk on the phone all the time,

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Speaker 2: and so I'd be like, girl, guess what happened today?

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Speaker 2: So and so did this, this and that? And girl,

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Speaker 2: wasn't that party crazy? You know, things like that. And

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Speaker 2: I feel her spirit in my home. I feel my parents'

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Speaker 2: spirit in here all the time. I know they're up

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Speaker 2: in here, sending on the couch and you know, listening

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Speaker 2: and you know, talking and chitter chattering.

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00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 5: But I also have an altar in.

440
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 2: My home, and I have their remains, and I also

441
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:10,600
Speaker 2: have my grandmother's remains and my dog's remains and everybody.

442
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:11,880
Speaker 5: Everybody's up in here.

443
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:12,399
Speaker 2: You know.

444
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 5: And I have pictures, I have quotes.

445
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:21,159
Speaker 2: I have tried to carve out a sacred and holy

446
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:26,200
Speaker 2: space for them to rest. My other practice is praying

447
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,359
Speaker 2: a lot. I pray a lot, I get quiet. I

448
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 2: need sometimes I need to go in my prayer closet

449
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,159
Speaker 2: because there's just a lot of stuff going on. I

450
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 2: also read about grief too, and I study the signs.

451
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 2: I think you know when your loved one is deceased

452
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,680
Speaker 2: and you were close to them, you will pick up

453
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 2: on the signs that they're here with you.

454
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:48,239
Speaker 5: You know.

455
00:26:48,480 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 2: For me, it's seeing sunflowers my mom loves sunflowers, or

456
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 2: seeing my dad's old cars sometimes yor just this, I

457
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 2: feel like hearing his voice sometimes. And I do think

458
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:04,959
Speaker 2: they have strong energies that tend to break through and

459
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 2: permeate this physical realm. I just have worked on being

460
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 2: more open to that, making sure that my heart and

461
00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:18,000
Speaker 2: throat shockra are clear so I can receive. And I

462
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 2: think right now, it's not in the stage of my life.

463
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 2: It's not so much of pushing forward and like some

464
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 2: survival things are not going to take you to the

465
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,160
Speaker 2: next step and level of life, and the same thing

466
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:33,160
Speaker 2: with grieving. So it's not pushing past the pain. It's

467
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:38,119
Speaker 2: sitting and receiving and knowing and trusting and having faith

468
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,159
Speaker 2: that they're right here with you. And I think, you know,

469
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 2: to be honest, it's it's not easy. It's never going

470
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:48,680
Speaker 2: to be easy, and it might not ever feel normal.

471
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:55,119
Speaker 2: But the idea is to lead with acceptance and compassion

472
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 2: for oneself because none of this is normal, you know,

473
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:04,959
Speaker 2: that's the human ex experience. Experiencing death is not normal.

474
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 2: It is supposed to be gut riching and hard, but

475
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 2: we find it in ourselves to accept that and move

476
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 2: forward with them in our hearts and our spirits. I

477
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 2: think that will give you peace and it will serve

478
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 2: as a bomb to that fire inside that anger.

479
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for your answer, and I think

480
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 3: that as you were sharing, there are so many people

481
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 3: who may be dealing with grief that it can resonate

482
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 3: with what you've shared. And hopefully we'll also take some

483
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 3: nuggets from the things that you share, the practices and

484
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 3: how they cope with brief, but more importantly what you

485
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 3: said about out the acceptance and the compassion, And so

486
00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 3: I know that in general, acceptance and compassion is something

487
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 3: that we all need, particularly around navigating overall dimensions of wellness.

488
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 3: And so can you share with us some of the

489
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 3: other practices that have helped you to kind of stay

490
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 3: grounded emotionally in when you're navigating other things in your life,

491
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 3: other stressors or maybe even joy.

492
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:39,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's always something. I just feel like like that's

493
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 2: the pivot, that's the crux of life. It's always something

494
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 2: right like as soon as you get something here it's like, oh,

495
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 2: I gotta hook this up over there. I think for me,

496
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 2: you know, when it comes to my healing, emotional healing

497
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 2: and wellness, I've been in therapy since twenty thirteen and

498
00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 2: it's talk therapy, but I also do a lot of

499
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 2: body work now. I you know, I do get massages

500
00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 2: because a lot. And what I found was when my

501
00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 2: mom first died, that was such an icky you know,

502
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 2: I felt in my body and there's still remnants in there, right,

503
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 2: And I don't think we talk about and what we have.

504
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: I've broached this topic, you know at Essence, but bodywork

505
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 2: and somatic work and really getting that pain out of

506
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 2: your body, and there's practices for that. So I do

507
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 2: with you know, massage at Hotstones. I don't I mean

508
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,000
Speaker 2: I could do some acripuncture. I think that's next on

509
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 2: my list. Yeah, and also breath work.

510
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,840
Speaker 5: Has been really really.

511
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,120
Speaker 2: Life change is a game changer for me this year

512
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 2: because I felt like last year was just me plowing

513
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:54,280
Speaker 2: thrill given her death was so so horrible, and I

514
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,200
Speaker 2: felt like, okay, well, you know people are gonna expect

515
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 2: me to crumble. That's not what I do. So we

516
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 2: are going to lay it out and I did, but

517
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 2: I paid for it, right, So now this is just

518
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:12,959
Speaker 2: kind of a renewal. Also, candle plug, I just blashed

519
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:17,440
Speaker 2: my candle called renewal. But no, in all seriousness, the

520
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 2: renewal part was a lot of that breath work because

521
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 2: I could not, for the life of me, feel present

522
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 2: in my body.

523
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:26,800
Speaker 5: Said, oh that's a problem.

524
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 2: I was just I was, I was there, I was

525
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,480
Speaker 2: at events, I was working, I was present, but I

526
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 2: wasn't present in my body. I felt nothing. And that

527
00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 2: is you know, I know you know this, doctor don

528
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 2: but that's a form of depression where it's a functional depression.

529
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 2: And we've had those conversations too. I've written extensively about

530
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 2: that where you were functioning and even high functioning in

531
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 2: accomplishing all this type of stuff. But I did not

532
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:07,240
Speaker 2: feel a thing last year. I saw everything this year,

533
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 2: every single thing. And while it's difficult and prefer nazis

534
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 2: sometimes I think it's I think it's a testament to

535
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:20,640
Speaker 2: my healing journey. So to condense it, oh that's my

536
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,880
Speaker 2: emotional I have so many different like, okay, you know,

537
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 2: I need to go out with my friends, you know,

538
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,360
Speaker 2: have a little cocktail, have some fun and I.

539
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,719
Speaker 5: Also, I think people don't know I have a lot

540
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,360
Speaker 5: of fun. I'm a fun girl. I'm a funny girl.

541
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:36,760
Speaker 2: So I have fun and i'm you know, with my girlfriends,

542
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 2: and I love it.

543
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 5: I love people.

544
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 2: And then my hobbies, you know, I love I'm doing

545
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 2: my power walking now, but I love dancing and I'm

546
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,040
Speaker 2: getting back. I'm about to take a zoomba class tomorrow.

547
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:52,080
Speaker 2: I'm really excited about that. Some hip hop zoomba. And

548
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 2: I have also gotten into horseback riding training to be

549
00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 2: an equestrians. It's that is an intricate so I try

550
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 2: when I have time to really commit myself to that,

551
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 2: but it is definitely a commitment. But horses, especially last year,

552
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 2: was really healing for me, and I could do nothing

553
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 2: but focus and be present in that moment because you're

554
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 2: guiding a big horse and you don't want to fall

555
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 2: off the horse. So nothing I could think of mattered

556
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 2: when I was on that horse. So I do love horses,

557
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 2: and I'm looking forward to getting it back into that

558
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 2: and traveling.

559
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 5: So lots of differentness.

560
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:34,880
Speaker 4: That's such an incredible answer.

561
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 1: We talk about like holistic healing on the podcast, not

562
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,440
Speaker 1: just one sort of healing modality. So thank you so

563
00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 1: much for just sharing this like this vast or these

564
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:47,000
Speaker 1: different techniques and strategies that you're using to kind of

565
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 1: support your whole self. That is so beautiful. We love

566
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 1: to see it, love to hear it. Also shout out

567
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 1: to the candle plug. You said it's called Renewal, Is

568
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: that right?

569
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a DBF and Tears coldblog. We just sold out,

570
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 2: so it's another real corrasculation and it's a renewal candle

571
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:05,280
Speaker 2: And it was based on my spiritual journey this year

572
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 2: because I did also do this is probably something that

573
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 2: could help your readers. I decided to do a grief

574
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 2: group and I really needed. I mean after the fires

575
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 2: out here and having that moment where you know, I

576
00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:24,320
Speaker 2: have both my parents' remains and I needed to leave,

577
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 2: I need to evacuate and I couldn't take them with me,

578
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:31,600
Speaker 2: and that just broke me to pieces. And then when

579
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 2: I got back to La, I was like, you know what,

580
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 2: I need to get some more help emotionally and spiritually.

581
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 2: So I joined the grief group at my church here

582
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 2: in LA and it's been so helpful for my overall

583
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:53,120
Speaker 2: growth and moving forward. And that does not mean leaving

584
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:56,680
Speaker 2: your loved ones behind. That's decease. It means that you

585
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 2: have to continue with your life or was the alternative,

586
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 2: And that is some hard truth that we all have

587
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:07,839
Speaker 2: to grapple with at some point.

588
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 1: That's such an important reminder and it's so inspired to

589
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,360
Speaker 1: hear a woman like you, who's so accomplished, who's on

590
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,399
Speaker 1: the go, who's doing all the things, talk about getting help,

591
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,719
Speaker 1: because I don't think we were talking about it more,

592
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 1: but I think there's always an opportunity to talk about

593
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,320
Speaker 1: how the strong friend is also getting help and getting support,

594
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 1: right and.

595
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 2: My you know, old friends, and I think I am

596
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:31,839
Speaker 2: being better with that with.

597
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 5: Them, like say, hey girl, I need some collar plenty.

598
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 2: Like I'm drowning over here. And I think sometimes you

599
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,120
Speaker 2: just put that facade up and it's just because people

600
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,319
Speaker 2: are just used to you, just kind of plowing through.

601
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,840
Speaker 2: And just earlier today I asked my neighbors open up

602
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:49,359
Speaker 2: a box of cookies because I can.

603
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,279
Speaker 5: Open I can't do it. I can't do more. Help me,

604
00:35:52,360 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 5: please please, you know, like I feel like.

605
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:01,720
Speaker 2: It's okay to ask for help, and it's okay to

606
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,360
Speaker 2: be in tune with yourself so much so that you

607
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 2: know when you need some help, or you know when

608
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 2: you need to stop doing a certain thing or switch

609
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 2: your lifestyle or whatever have you.

610
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 3: Yes, thank you, thank you for that, and emphasizing the

611
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:23,480
Speaker 3: importance of asking for help and acknowledging that as the

612
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 3: strong friend, getting.

613
00:36:26,239 --> 00:36:27,239
Speaker 5: Help is important.

614
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:32,279
Speaker 3: It truly, it truly is, and getting help can look

615
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 3: as simple as asking your neighbor to open the cookies

616
00:36:37,239 --> 00:36:37,480
Speaker 3: for you.

617
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, and not apologizing for that. I think, yes,

618
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 2: I'm a friendly neighbor, I'm a friendly community member in society.

619
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 2: And you know, I don't need to say I've done

620
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 2: this X, y Z for people. They know what I've done.

621
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 2: But now it's time for me to receive and be

622
00:36:56,719 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 2: open to refuting fruitful and reciprocal relationships. And I think

623
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:08,600
Speaker 2: earlier this year my mentors, my mentor was very directly say,

624
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:12,359
Speaker 2: you know what your word is reciprocal this year, that's

625
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 2: your word. Every year, you know, we it's a practice

626
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 2: for me to do my do a word the c suite,

627
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 2: she does a word, and it's just kind of like

628
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 2: a running theme within our circle. And I was like, Yeah,

629
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:28,560
Speaker 2: that is my word, and I'm going to let that

630
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 2: be put in action this year. But I have to

631
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,799
Speaker 2: be open enough and humble. I think sometimes we get

632
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 2: we we kind of confuse our ego a little bit

633
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,960
Speaker 2: with being the strong friend I got it. Can nobody

634
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,680
Speaker 2: help me? Can nobody tell me anything? I've done this

635
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: for so long, you know, with that hyper independence. But

636
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 2: you know you're stronger when you let your community help

637
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 2: and vocalize that you need some help.

638
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:03,160
Speaker 3: Yes, yes we are Yes, that community care yes is

639
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:10,399
Speaker 3: so important and so Tomnique. When you think of all

640
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:19,879
Speaker 3: of the interviews you've done, the articles you've written, can

641
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 3: you identify any particular person or topic that has transformed

642
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,520
Speaker 3: you in ways that you weren't expecting?

643
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, I have one type of mind.

644
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:40,719
Speaker 2: It's the twenty healing from Hurricane Katrina and twenty years later.

645
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 2: That piece broke me open. It you know, it's a

646
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 2: twentieth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. There's all sorts of documentaries

647
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 2: of it. You know, we had one. I think it

648
00:38:57,160 --> 00:39:02,320
Speaker 2: was Ryan Cooler's documentary at Essence Fest at the film festival.

649
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:09,200
Speaker 2: But I wrote a print article for that in our

650
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 2: New Orleans and that broke me open because I spoke

651
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 2: to four different Nolan natives who all experienced Hurricane Katrina

652
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 2: in different ways, and they were also different ages, and

653
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 2: a lot of several of them were mental health facilitators,

654
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:33,839
Speaker 2: our mental health facilitators down in New Orleans. And it's

655
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 2: mainly because of what they experienced at a younger age.

656
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:44,680
Speaker 2: So I spoke to an older woman, and you know,

657
00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:46,040
Speaker 2: the leading line.

658
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 5: Of the article was, it was quiet.

659
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 2: It was silent when I got there and I got back,

660
00:39:54,040 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 2: there was no music. And how powerful is that a

661
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:04,760
Speaker 2: sitting up to be so rich in culture and music

662
00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 2: and expression desolate and signent. And we led with that,

663
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 2: but we also made sure that we had an accurate

664
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 2: account of what these specific Katrinians went through. And it

665
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:24,479
Speaker 2: was hard to hear their stories. I mean, you see

666
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 2: on TV, you know a person or family member that

667
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 2: was adjacent to it, but to hear these personal accounts

668
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:39,200
Speaker 2: and how it became a ripple effect throughout their families

669
00:40:39,239 --> 00:40:45,879
Speaker 2: because of this natural disaster, and how our government did

670
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,760
Speaker 2: not show up, It did not show up for black

671
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 2: people in general in New Orleans. It was although I

672
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:56,640
Speaker 2: knew about it, it was more eye opening that I

673
00:40:56,640 --> 00:41:01,439
Speaker 2: could imagine. And it was an honor you capture those

674
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 2: accounts and for it to be in print. And when

675
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:08,040
Speaker 2: I went down to Essence Fest this year, I ran

676
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 2: into one of the interviewees and she was grateful about

677
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,320
Speaker 2: the story. Then we were all stayed at the hotel,

678
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 2: the staff, and you know, I like to talk, and

679
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 2: so I'm chatting and.

680
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,239
Speaker 5: And she said, what do you What do you do?

681
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 2: Every time I see you come in and out these

682
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:25,200
Speaker 2: big bags and you're rushing and you know, we've you

683
00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 2: got the laptop.

684
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 4: What are you?

685
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:28,480
Speaker 5: What are you doing at the conventions? And I was like, oh, well,

686
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 5: I work for the magazine and she said really said.

687
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:35,800
Speaker 2: Yes, And I said, you know, we also dedicated a

688
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 2: whole issue to New Orleans. And she said, so, what

689
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,240
Speaker 2: did you talk about in the magazine. I said, well,

690
00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:44,719
Speaker 2: I wrote about Hurricane Getrina. She said, you wrote about that.

691
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 2: I said, yeah, I did. She said, I went through it.

692
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 2: Do you have a magazine? And how God works? I

693
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:54,360
Speaker 2: happened to have one single magazine that I got for

694
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 2: the convention center, just because it's a collectible and like

695
00:41:56,840 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 2: I like to archive the magazines, especially with my pieces

696
00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:02,480
Speaker 2: in it. And I said, oh, I will get to

697
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:06,359
Speaker 2: you and I'll show you. So I go downstairs and

698
00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 2: she's waiting for the magazine. I flipped to the page

699
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:13,000
Speaker 2: and she said, will you sign my magazine? And I

700
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 2: guess that's my first autograph. Another one, but that was really, really,

701
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:24,719
Speaker 2: really special because it touched her. Her family went through

702
00:42:24,760 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 2: her kide Katrina, and she lives, works and breathes and

703
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 2: thrives and New Orleans to this day. And she was

704
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 2: very appreciative of Essence covering back in only the way

705
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 2: that we could.

706
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:42,280
Speaker 1: Wow, wow, wow, that's just right, like just a reminder

707
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: of how important it is for us to have our

708
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,759
Speaker 1: own platforms to do that, right you wite me, it's

709
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: not want to be talking about our stories the way

710
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,839
Speaker 1: that they need to be spoken about, and also thinking

711
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:55,880
Speaker 1: about the legacy that's just so incredible, Dominique. As you

712
00:42:55,920 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 1: were speaking, I was thinking about perspective and just in general.

713
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 1: Is there a certain perspective that you gravitated toward or

714
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:09,840
Speaker 1: believed when you were younger that you either don't believe anymore,

715
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:15,480
Speaker 1: that maybe has shifted drastically at this state in life.

716
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 5: Well, I just thought that I had to do one

717
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,520
Speaker 5: specific thing. I think.

718
00:43:24,320 --> 00:43:32,279
Speaker 2: Sometimes your community will place their fears on you and

719
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 2: not my parents, but outside community members might place their

720
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 2: fears or their broken dreams or whatever have you on

721
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:47,279
Speaker 2: you and it's okay to be multifested. And I've discovered that,

722
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 2: like you know, I'm bouncing off the walls I have,

723
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 2: you know, the candle and carrier business, writing, doing television segments. Now,

724
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 2: I think it's important to diversify yourself and your skill set,

725
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:03,840
Speaker 2: you know. And I think that's why I went to

726
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 2: grad school for journalism when I heard from so many

727
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,680
Speaker 2: people I don't need to go to grad school or

728
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 2: diurnal of them, you know. And I'm so glad that

729
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 2: I did, because who knows, maybe I'll be teaching one

730
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:20,799
Speaker 2: day with my master's. And I think, I just think

731
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 2: the possibilities are endless. As long as you believe that

732
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:27,120
Speaker 2: you really be in your heart, the possibilities are endless.

733
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 3: Yes, I love that the possibilities are endless. And so

734
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 3: speaking of possibilities, yep, as you look ahead, how would

735
00:44:41,080 --> 00:44:48,720
Speaker 3: you like wellness individually culturally to evolve for Black women?

736
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:53,840
Speaker 3: Like what are you hoping to explore or amplify next?

737
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, definitely, I think that's such a great question. Thank you.

738
00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 2: I think what you mentioned earlier, comunities of care, you know,

739
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 2: I think sometimes we confuse fancy brunches and conferences and

740
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 2: girl Boss and you know, impact summits as communities of care,

741
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 2: when it really can just be stripped down to being

742
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 2: in someone's home offering a hand. It doesn't need to

743
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 2: be as extensive as it's blown up to be. And

744
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:31,719
Speaker 2: while I get that, you know, I think it is

745
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 2: empowering to a certain extent, I do think we need

746
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:37,839
Speaker 2: to strip back some of the fluff and really get

747
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:42,400
Speaker 2: it to the nitty gritty, which is trauma based work.

748
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,719
Speaker 2: I think we all carry so much trauma. And I

749
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 2: also think, like, for instance, give you an example, My

750
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,239
Speaker 2: nail lady is so funny. I love her, Linda. She

751
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:56,319
Speaker 2: does this finger every time and she looks and she

752
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 2: goes like this, And I said, Linda, what are you

753
00:45:58,760 --> 00:45:59,160
Speaker 2: looking at?

754
00:45:59,320 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 4: Girl?

755
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 5: And she's won. Your finger is curving to the side.

756
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,800
Speaker 2: I said, oh, I know. And she said, what is why?

757
00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 2: What's up with that? I said, Oh, I don't you know.

758
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 2: I just said, oh, yeah, it's just some weird thing.

759
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,040
Speaker 2: I guess that's just been happening. But as I went

760
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:19,200
Speaker 2: home and thought, and I also think so much, sometimes

761
00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:23,800
Speaker 2: I'm like why is it? I'm like, oh, that's happened

762
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 2: because my mom had her finger slammed, this exact finger

763
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 2: and it went. She has the same finger like this,

764
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:37,480
Speaker 2: And so I'm making that point to say, trauma is generational.

765
00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 2: It lives in our bodies. We have the same exact

766
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:44,359
Speaker 2: finger that's curved. My finger was never slammed in the door.

767
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 2: Her finger was slammed and her nail was altered and

768
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 2: it grew this way on the same hand. Right, Wow,

769
00:46:55,920 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 2: trauma lives in our bodies. It's it, it's generational. It's

770
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 2: passed down fortunately, and you think about our ancestors and

771
00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:13,399
Speaker 2: what they had to go through psychologically, physically, emotionally, and

772
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:17,800
Speaker 2: a piece of that is in our DNA. So how

773
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:24,840
Speaker 2: can we address that but also find spaces of care

774
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:30,440
Speaker 2: and joy, a little joy? And that's what I'm on

775
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:33,120
Speaker 2: the quest for now, my joy.

776
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 1: Wow, wow, wow, Dominic, thank you so much for such

777
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 1: an insightful conversation. It just feels like such a I

778
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 1: don't like a full circle moment, and like all that

779
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 1: you've done for the community, all that you've done and

780
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 1: poured into others, and now you're pouring into yourself and

781
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,799
Speaker 1: circling back on your joy, spending the block it makes

782
00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,560
Speaker 1: you feel your joy bank and that is just so

783
00:47:54,680 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 1: beautiful to witness, and so we appreciate you so much.

784
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:00,800
Speaker 1: We thank you for your gifts, the leg your building,

785
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,280
Speaker 1: the stories you're telling, the stories you're going to tell.

786
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 1: And we'd love for you to let our listeners know

787
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: where can they find you, how can they support you

788
00:48:07,160 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 1: and your work by the candles and anything else that

789
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:11,280
Speaker 1: you have for them to support.

790
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:15,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, first follow me on Instagram at Dominique B Fluker,

791
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:18,120
Speaker 2: and then you can Google me and not on me.

792
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,880
Speaker 2: In that way a you can find into my website,

793
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 2: could find my email, and you could find all my

794
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,520
Speaker 2: bylines and what I'm currently working on.

795
00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Dominique.

796
00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:33,360
Speaker 3: It's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her Space podcast.

797
00:48:33,880 --> 00:48:36,839
Speaker 3: Are you currently a resident of the state of California

798
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 3: and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so, please

799
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 3: reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

800
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:51,800
Speaker 3: That's d R D O M I N I q

801
00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 3: U E B R O U ss ar D dot

802
00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 3: com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I look

803
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 3: forward to hearing from you. Thanks for tuning into Cultivating

804
00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 3: her Space. Remember that while this podcast is all about healing, empowerment,

805
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:17,440
Speaker 3: and resilience. It's not a substitute for therapy. If you

806
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 3: or someone you know need support, check out resources like

807
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 3: Therapy for Black Girls or Psychology Today.

808
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:25,920
Speaker 4: If you love.

809
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,719
Speaker 3: Today's episode, do us a favor and share it with

810
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 3: a friend who needs some inspiration or leave us a

811
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 3: quick five star review. Your support means the world to

812
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 3: us and helps keep this space thriving.

813
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:43,800
Speaker 1: And before we meet again, repeat after me, I honor

814
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:49,400
Speaker 1: my journey by balancing effort and rest to achieve my goals.

815
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:53,879
Speaker 1: Cheap Thriving Lady, and tune in next Friday for more

816
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:58,560
Speaker 1: inspiration from cultivating her space. In the meantime, be sure

817
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 1: to connect with us on Instagram. I'm at air Space

818
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:02,160
Speaker 1: Podcast