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Speaker 1: Hello, Hey, what's up. What's your name? I'm Jack, Jack,

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Speaker 1: What's up? How's life?

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Speaker 2: You know?

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Speaker 3: I'm living?

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Speaker 4: Is this the gek This is a man in a

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Speaker 4: gecko suits who is here right now talking to people?

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Speaker 4: I was I was watching an Instagram reel of and

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Speaker 4: it was Jim Carrey and he was at like some

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Speaker 4: awar show and he was like talking to some lady

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Speaker 4: with a microphone and he was like, nothing is real, man,

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Speaker 4: and I'm just a guy and I'm crazy. And I

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Speaker 4: was watching this and I'm like, I really hope I

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Speaker 4: don't sound like that sometimes, although I got I understood

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Speaker 4: everything he was saying when he was talking about this

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Speaker 4: is where this the sensation Like like Jim Jim Carrey,

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Speaker 4: I think when he's going insane, he's left the matrix.

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Speaker 4: And I get what he's saying because I've also had

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Speaker 4: times where my brain left the matrix. But I'm I

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Speaker 4: you know what is full the full circle is like

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Speaker 4: the matrix is pretty good. I'm sorry I'm talking over you.

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Speaker 4: I'm just stream of consciousness going and saying. But we'll

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Speaker 4: get into just the matrix is good. It's good to

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Speaker 4: be in the matrix. The matrix is great. I was

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Speaker 4: go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of funny because Sonic the Hedgehogs like brought

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Speaker 3: him out of the matrix.

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Speaker 4: Wait, how did Sonic the Hetchhog? Now, wait, hold on,

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Speaker 4: tell me further. How do you believe son of a

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Speaker 4: Hedgehog brought him out of the matrix?

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Speaker 3: Whenever he was like really like he was saying like

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Speaker 3: all the depressive stuff. It was like right before he

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Speaker 3: started doing the first Sonic movie and he was literally like,

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Speaker 3: I'm done with movies, Like the next movie that gets

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Speaker 3: delivered to me would have to be like a script

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Speaker 3: written in gold. And then he started doing Sonic the Hedgehog.

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Speaker 3: And he's only done Sonic the Hedgehog since then.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm so wait, so t so, how is Sonic

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Speaker 4: the Hedgehog wouldn't wouldn't doing something like a Hdgehog put

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Speaker 4: him back into the matrix.

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Speaker 3: Well, it kind of like snapped him out of it,

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Speaker 3: you know, because he was saying like nothing matters, and

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Speaker 3: then well I guess, I guess I guess what you're saying. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: he kind of pulled him back in.

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Speaker 4: No, well like being saying nothing matters. Okay, here a

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Speaker 4: whold on, And I'm By the way, this is a

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Speaker 4: two sided conversation. I want to hear your opinion on this.

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Speaker 4: I'm just gonna throw it out there. The so, when

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Speaker 4: Jim Carrey is talking about how nothing matters and this

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Speaker 4: none of this is real and whatever, he has left

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Speaker 4: the matrix, right and then going to doing Sonic the

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Speaker 4: Hedgehog is rejoining the matrix. But part but I think

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Speaker 4: the because when you're doing so the he when he's

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Speaker 4: doing somea like the Hedgehog, he is like when he's

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Speaker 4: doctor Egman and he's doing a silly voice and he's

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Speaker 4: like working and he's doing stuff, and he's like attempting

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Speaker 4: to actively participate in life. He has rejoined the matrix.

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Speaker 4: But I think the the hero's journey of leaving the

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Speaker 4: matrix ends with realizing that being in the matrix is good.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 4: There the like you like, you know, it's a weird

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Speaker 4: bell curve of like you know that meme Do you

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Speaker 4: know what I'm talking about? The meme where it's like

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Speaker 4: a dumb guy and he's like, what's that fucking meme?

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Speaker 4: Hold on, I'm gonna look that.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm talking about? By the way,

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Speaker 1: I do not hold on.

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Speaker 4: Bell curve meme, thanks for hanging out with me while

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Speaker 4: I do this. Okay, okay, okay, the bell Okay, the

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Speaker 4: bell curve meme. And it's like it's like a Wojack meme.

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Speaker 4: Do you know what wojack is? Yeah, Okay, it's a

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Speaker 4: woj Okay, it's a Wojack meme. And it's like it's like, Okay,

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Speaker 4: at the beginning of the bell curve is like a

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Speaker 4: really like is like dumb, like idiot wojack. Right, I look,

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Speaker 4: you're looking at Okay, you're looking at it, right, you're

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Speaker 4: looking at you're looking at it right now. Yeah, And

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Speaker 4: it's like, uh, like I'm looking at one right now

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Speaker 4: where it's like I just do whatever I feel like,

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Speaker 4: And it's that's the dumb guy. He's like in the

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Speaker 4: bottom one percent, right, And it's like that's like that's

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Speaker 4: living in the matrix. Right, that's like I I do

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Speaker 4: the Sonic the Hedgehog movie and I play pickleball and

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Speaker 4: I paint. It's like, this guy's a fucking idiot, doesn't

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Speaker 4: he really? And then okay, right, okay, so so at

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Speaker 4: the at the bottom of the bell curve is dumb

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Speaker 4: Wojack guy, right, and and this guy's like, I do

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Speaker 4: the Sonic the Hedgehog movie, and I paint, and I

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Speaker 4: play pickleball and I go to award shows and it's

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Speaker 4: like that guy's in the matrix, he's an idiot. And

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Speaker 4: then okay, and then and then at the at the

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Speaker 4: top of the bell curve, do you see you see, right,

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Speaker 4: you're looking at the same thing I'm looking at. Yeah, Okay,

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Speaker 4: the top of the bell curve, you have the crying Wojack,

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Speaker 4: the guy who's like stressed, right, that's at the top

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Speaker 4: of the bell curve. And that guy's going like the

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Speaker 4: guy at the bottom is a fucking idiot, all right,

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Speaker 4: he doesn't he realize that nothing matters and what And

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Speaker 4: he's an idiot. He's doing the Sonic the Hedgehog movie

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Speaker 4: and he's fucking playing pickleball and nothing matters, right, And

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Speaker 4: like that guy left the matrix, right. And then at

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Speaker 4: the end of the bell curve, the top like the

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Speaker 4: high IQ at the end of the bell curve, you

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Speaker 4: see the guy in the hood. You see that, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that guy that's Jim Carrey going back to do Sonic

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Speaker 4: the Hedgehog enlightened, realizing that the end of the hero's

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Speaker 4: journey of leaving the matrix is fucking the enlightenment is, Oh,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna do the Sonic the Hedgehog movie and play

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Speaker 4: pickleball and participate in life and society. That's the that's

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Speaker 4: like the ultimates, yea, and like that's his fucking hero's

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Speaker 4: journey is is you start dumb, You're like, oh, I'm

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Speaker 4: in the fucking matrix, and then you have an existential

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Speaker 4: crisis and you go, what what a fucking idiot participating

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Speaker 4: in life? And then at the end, the hero's journey

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Speaker 4: is wait a minute, the Act, the Golden Script, the whatever,

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Speaker 4: it is just fucking doing the fucking Sonic the Hedgehog

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Speaker 4: movie and participating in life. That is the end of

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Speaker 4: the enlightenment path, you know. So that's what I think. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's the I'll show you. So that's that's what I

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Speaker 4: think he's doing. Is that's that's he's at the bottom

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Speaker 4: of he's at the end of that bell curve where

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Speaker 4: he's so enlightened that he's doing the Sonic the Hedgehog movie.

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Speaker 4: I guess I don't know, that's that's that's kind of

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Speaker 4: how I look at it.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm right there with you. It's even better because

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Speaker 3: you know you brought you brought Adriel butt in, he

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Speaker 3: got Keanu h He's spreading the information, he's spreading the happiness.

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Speaker 4: And it's like, look, you know, it doesn't have to

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Speaker 4: be this thing written in gold. That's amazing and beautiful.

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Speaker 4: It's the fucking Sonic the Hedgehog movie.

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Speaker 3: People.

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Speaker 4: It's fun. It's just fun. Life. Life can just be

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Speaker 4: fun and normal, and you know it doesn't have to

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Speaker 4: be this fucking script written in gold.

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Speaker 3: You know, I I completely agree.

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Speaker 1: That's the Bell Curve. What's your name again?

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Speaker 3: I'm Jack? Jack?

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Speaker 1: What's going on in your life? Jack?

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Speaker 4: Thanks for thank you so much for letting me right.

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Speaker 4: I got really excited talking about that. So thanks for

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Speaker 4: you're the you were you were the you were absolutely

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Speaker 4: the right guy to have on the other end of

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Speaker 4: the phone to entertain me while I go on this rant.

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Speaker 1: So thank you for being that. What's up with you?

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Speaker 2: Man?

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Speaker 3: You know, you know, life, life, life's definitely a lot

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Speaker 3: right now. But I think I think talking about Sonic

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Speaker 3: the Hedgehog with the thurpy get Go helped quite a bit.

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Speaker 4: It's just it's just it's like it's just distracting yourself,

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Speaker 4: which is like a weird nihilistic thing. But then again,

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Speaker 4: you get to the end of the bell curve and

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Speaker 4: you're like, no, that's the point.

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Speaker 3: Well it's kind of like, uh, I kind of have

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Speaker 3: an exodia right now?

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Speaker 1: What does that mean?

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Speaker 3: Uh? Like in u Yo, there's this there's this card

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Speaker 3: called exodia and it's like split up into so many

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Speaker 3: pieces because if you use them all, you just win

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Speaker 3: the game. And I was like, I was sitting here

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Speaker 3: and I'm folding my laundry, and I was a little

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Speaker 3: bummed out because I'm like I couldn't go to Comic

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Speaker 3: Con this year, and like all my buddies are at

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Speaker 3: Comic Con right now, and now I'm gonna be able

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Speaker 3: to just be like, yeah, he went to Comic Con.

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Speaker 3: But I talked to the therapy get go while I

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Speaker 3: was holding laundry in my trap and my and my

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Speaker 3: snorrelaxed cross.

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Speaker 4: I am I. I want you to know, I'm deeply

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Speaker 4: honored that I'm I'm a consolation prize for going to

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Speaker 4: Comic Con. Wait, which is it? Are you just talking

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Speaker 4: about San Diego Comic Con?

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Speaker 3: No, I'm I'm in Missouri's I'm in like Kansas City

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Speaker 3: Comic Con.

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Speaker 4: Okay, how come you can go again? I'm sorry if

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Speaker 4: you said that already.

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Speaker 3: I'm just just finances and didn't work out. I just

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Speaker 3: lost my job and got dumped or not, well, we

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Speaker 3: broke off. I didn't get dumped. But so I'm just

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Speaker 3: staying optimistic and finding a new job and folding laundry

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Speaker 3: and talking about sonic the hedgehog.

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Speaker 1: What does that mean to be staying off the mystic?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 3: Like, I don't know. I get out of bed every day,

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Speaker 3: I go to work like, I go like a door

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Speaker 3: dash and I like you roady like, which is another

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Speaker 3: like delivery app see my friends, I get out? Mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: Wait what what? What is what is mystic?

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Speaker 2: What?

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Speaker 4: I so, I know that staying off the mystic as

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Speaker 4: a metaphor, but what's the what's the literal mystic?

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Speaker 1: Like you mean like the end of the drink?

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Speaker 3: Start one more time?

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Speaker 1: What did you said staying off the mystic? What is

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Speaker 1: the mystic?

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Speaker 3: Oh see optimistic?

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Speaker 4: Oh oh oh oh oh interesting? Okay, I thought you

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Speaker 4: said you've been staying off the mystic.

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Speaker 3: That sounds that sounds cooler, it.

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Speaker 1: Sounds Can we just I want.

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Speaker 3: To just make that being like judged dread.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I kind of, I I kind of I

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Speaker 4: kind of want to take that.

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Speaker 1: Can we can we make that a thing staying.

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Speaker 4: Staying off the mystic like we don't need to get

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Speaker 4: into crazy ship.

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Speaker 3: We can just but galaxy gas, which I've never done.

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Speaker 4: But what happened? Uh? What you can talk about it

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Speaker 4: or not talk about it if if you want, But

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Speaker 4: what happened with the missus?

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Speaker 5: All right?

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Speaker 3: I don't know. It's a it's a long complicated thing.

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Speaker 3: We're both just kind of give until a point we

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Speaker 3: were both more happy and just like arguing off and

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Speaker 3: on and like breaking up off and on. And I

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Speaker 3: was like for almost that three years, I'm like, I

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Speaker 3: don't want to say too much because I don't think

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Speaker 3: she'll listen, but I don't want to like oustad anything.

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Speaker 4: Sure, yeah, sure I understand that.

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Speaker 3: But it was just three years just didn't work out

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Speaker 3: and we were just both unhappy. Are you and I

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Speaker 3: don't want to be there? But just like a have

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Speaker 3: to move on kind of thing.

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Speaker 4: Are you so? I so? I undersaid it's like a wee,

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Speaker 4: it's like a it is like a difficult transition, but like,

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Speaker 4: do you do you feel happier?

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Speaker 1: Like, what's your feel how do you feel in your gun?

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Speaker 1: I'm curious.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I'm so focused on trying to like

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Speaker 3: work on stuff on my life, then I'm honestly not

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Speaker 3: thinking about it too much. Like my mom asked me

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Speaker 3: that the other day. She was like, you haven't talked

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Speaker 3: to like it's been like a month and you haven't

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Speaker 3: like talked about like so and so. And she's like,

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Speaker 3: are you like okay with it? And then I was like,

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Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you the same thing I told

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Speaker 3: my therapist of I know, this is just gonna suck

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Speaker 3: for a while and I'm just gonna have to live

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Speaker 3: through the suck and then we'll go from there.

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Speaker 4: M Yeah, there's kind of a this kind kind of

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Speaker 4: a beauty in that acceptance. There's a beauty in that

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Speaker 4: accept There's a weird thing and this is like, uh,

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Speaker 4: philosophy bullshit that I don't know if I fully agree,

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Speaker 4: but let's explore the idea because it's interesting. Is like

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Speaker 4: are you still there, by the way, Okay, I was

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Speaker 4: wanting you the phone cut out whatever, But it's an

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Speaker 4: interesting idea to explore. It's like Okay, you do, You've

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Speaker 4: you accept this is gonna suck. I will get through

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Speaker 4: it and I will move past it and be victorious

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Speaker 4: and whatnot versus like resistance of feeling the pain and

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Speaker 4: the suck and like, how do I fucking make this

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Speaker 4: fucking end right now? This is like.

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Speaker 1: Whatever, whatever pain or whatever the fuck.

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Speaker 4: It's interesting because resistance can often, like I think, lead

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Speaker 4: you to interesting.

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Speaker 1: Places, perhaps.

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Speaker 4: Like I think, I don't know, I don't know, like, uh,

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Speaker 4: there's a weird thing and like uh. But also but

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Speaker 4: also acceptance can still lead you places actionably right because

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Speaker 4: you accept the pain, because you can because you can

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Speaker 4: be like like I have a friend who's like, uh,

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Speaker 4: you know, he went through a thing with his lady

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Speaker 4: and he went like, I'm gonna become like like, I

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Speaker 4: don't know if it's he and he went like, I'm

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Speaker 4: gonna become the kind of person that I thought this

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Speaker 4: relationship would make me become. And I'm like mourning the

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Speaker 4: the possibility of the guy that I thought it would

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Speaker 4: become as a result of this relationship. And so I'm

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Speaker 4: going to go do the things that I thought this

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Speaker 4: person would encourage me to do.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do them alone.

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Speaker 4: And it's interesting because I guess, I guess as I'm

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Speaker 4: talking to you, I initially was I was thinking about

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Speaker 4: this person, and I was like, is that a resistance

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Speaker 4: to pain or is that actually, in a way, an

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Speaker 4: acceptance of pain and a kind of like let me

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Speaker 4: take an actionable step to transform this pain into something productive,

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Speaker 4: which actually is is a form of acceptance, I think

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Speaker 4: rather than a form of resistance. I guess resistance would

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Speaker 4: be like, no, this is this is gonna work out,

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Speaker 4: this is gonna come back, this.

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Speaker 1: Is gonna.

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Speaker 2: That.

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Speaker 3: I think that's kind of why I'm at a point

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Speaker 3: of like we both agreed that we needed to do it,

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Speaker 3: but I kind of like initiated it, and we both

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Speaker 3: kind of like agreed. They were like like I don't

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Speaker 3: like it got to a point right and feel like

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Speaker 3: I could like talk to my friends about it because

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Speaker 3: it's like we've had so many like micro breakups.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's that's yeah. Once you get to the

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Speaker 4: point where you're once you get to the point where

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Speaker 4: you're like you can't you you've talked to your friends,

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Speaker 4: You've gone to your friends about an issue you're having,

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Speaker 4: and you can't you can't go back anymore because they're

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Speaker 4: all going to be like, You've done this dance eight

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Speaker 4: thousand times and you just can't talk to us about

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Speaker 4: it anymore.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And like my therapist even said that, like like

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Speaker 3: my friends are like, don't get me wrong, I could

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Speaker 3: like I've talked to my friends about like I got

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Speaker 3: I got drunk and played video games. We played through

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Speaker 3: the fire and the flames on Fortnite. That's my buddy's

301
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Speaker 3: house and you know we did that, and you know

302
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Speaker 3: that was that was nice. But I feel like I'm

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Speaker 3: definitely kind of just like like don't get me wrong,

304
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Speaker 3: it sucks, but like I'm trying to, like I got

305
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Speaker 3: a lot I want to work on, and like that

306
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Speaker 3: was kind of one of the things we dealt with

307
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Speaker 3: is like I didn't it didn't come across that I

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Speaker 3: changed the ways I needed to, and like I knew

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Speaker 3: I needed to change in some different ways. But like

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Speaker 3: I also was like working at Jimmy John's before, Like

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Speaker 3: I was like working at Jimmy John's and the door dashing

312
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Speaker 3: full time and just like miserable the entire time, like

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Speaker 3: when we first met, and like I feel like I'm

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Speaker 3: in a much better place even with the stuff going

315
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Speaker 3: on now that I was back then. So I'm just

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Speaker 3: trying to I don't know. I got to keep telling

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Speaker 3: myself that I changed in ways that were good for

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Speaker 3: both of us, in ways that were good for me too,

319
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Speaker 3: and just kind of trying to keep moving forward and

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Speaker 3: changing in better ways.

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Speaker 4: That's wonderful that you have great friends that you can

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Speaker 4: just get drunk and play Fortnite with.

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Speaker 3: It is actually really funny because like my two friends

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Speaker 3: that I just got to play it literally said they

325
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Speaker 3: would never play it, like they said they'd rather die

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Speaker 3: than play it for like years, and then one night

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Speaker 3: I just randomly messages and saying me playing Fortnite tonight,

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Speaker 3: and it kind of like stunlocked them into playing it,

329
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Speaker 3: and now one of them plays more than me.

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Speaker 1: How do you How do you know these two guys?

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Speaker 3: I met them in high school and I used to

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Speaker 3: be roommates with one of them that he had kids,

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Speaker 3: so we moved out.

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Speaker 4: Nice, nice, nice nice? Are these the buddies that are

335
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Speaker 4: at comicic on right now?

336
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,040
Speaker 3: Actually one of them is, Yeah, I actually just sent

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00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:38,720
Speaker 3: a message in the discord saying I'm on therapy Gecko

338
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,920
Speaker 3: right now, and they said prove it, and I said,

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Speaker 3: watch the stream, and so I hope one of them

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Speaker 3: got to hear me talk about his Fortnite addiction.

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Speaker 1: Cool.

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Speaker 4: Cool, hmmm, what's your name again, Jack? Jack? Hmm, you said,

343
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Speaker 4: you know what, I just I keep coming This is like,

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Speaker 4: I know, I feel like on this show I say

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00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,520
Speaker 4: the same things over and over again. But maybe that's

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Speaker 4: because I just keep coming back to, you know, a

347
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 4: lot of the same conclusions. And this is just thank

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Speaker 4: your You're I appreciate you so much, just sitting on

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Speaker 4: the phone with me while I rant about musings. It's

350
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Speaker 4: like I just keep coming back to. By the way,

351
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Speaker 4: I just I hope, I hope this doesn't come off

352
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Speaker 4: in like a preachy way, because this is a lot

353
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Speaker 4: of this.

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Speaker 1: This is just me.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

356
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Speaker 4: This is like doing therapy for myself and me coming

357
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Speaker 4: to my own loop of realizations over and over again.

358
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Speaker 4: It's like, like perspective keeps being the fucking thing. Like

359
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Speaker 4: perspective just keeps being the difference between like people who

360
00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 4: I talk to on this show or just in real life,

361
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Speaker 4: where I'm like that person is gonna be fine versus

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Speaker 4: that person's is fucked. You know, It's less it's more

363
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Speaker 4: about that than it is about like anything I think.

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Speaker 1: And I and I I redirect that back to myself.

365
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Speaker 4: I always I redirect that back to myself because I

366
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Speaker 4: I I wonder with myself. I'm like, am I fucked?

367
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Speaker 4: Am I just fucked?

368
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Speaker 3: For?

369
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Speaker 4: Like am I fucked? Or is it gonna? Am I

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Speaker 4: gonna be fine? And it's like, well, it kind of

371
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Speaker 4: depends on your perspective, and then your brain attacks you

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Speaker 4: and it goes, no, there's reality and reality doesn't give

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Speaker 4: a fuck about your perspective. But then but then you

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Speaker 4: but then you turn around and you go, well, perception

375
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 4: is reality, and you kind of argue back and forth

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Speaker 4: with your fucking self on it.

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Speaker 3: I do you want to Yeah, yeah, like you have

378
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Speaker 3: to keep reality in check, like I don't think there's

379
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 3: any problem, like like you've got to feel your emotions.

380
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Speaker 3: Like that's kind of the thing I keep like, like

381
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,679
Speaker 3: running into here is like I like, I like, in

382
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Speaker 3: my head, I know I'm not being cringe about it,

383
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,639
Speaker 3: but in my head I feel cringed for thinking like, oh,

384
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 3: like I feel like I don't know who I am anymore.

385
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,879
Speaker 3: But it's also like at the same time, after remind

386
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:26,440
Speaker 3: myself like no, I'm I still I'm still the same guy.

387
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Speaker 3: It's just this is going on and like trying to

388
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Speaker 3: not let my mind wander too far off.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmmm mm hmm. What's uh, what's the future look

390
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,040
Speaker 4: like for you? What do you what do you want

391
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Speaker 4: to do with your in life?

392
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Speaker 3: I might be getting a fingers crossed. I'll be getting

393
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,680
Speaker 3: this cool new job in about a week at this Uh.

394
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 3: You know, like when you go to Davembusters and you

395
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,840
Speaker 3: have like the card you put the funds on and

396
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,960
Speaker 3: then you can swipe it or tap it at the games.

397
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 3: I'm gonna work for a company that like makes those,

398
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,800
Speaker 3: and I'd be able to like build the kiosks and

399
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,399
Speaker 3: like I run support for like the arcades and bars

400
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:05,399
Speaker 3: that use them.

401
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:10,880
Speaker 4: Nice. Nice, that's sick. Do you get to play games

402
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,199
Speaker 4: for free?

403
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 3: They have games in the break room. I was a

404
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,400
Speaker 3: little jealous they had they had it just in storage,

405
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 3: but they had south Park pinball Dude.

406
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:26,159
Speaker 4: I had, Dude. I had been searching far and wide

407
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 4: to play the south Park pinball machine. I finally played it.

408
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,160
Speaker 4: I forget what I think I played it in uh,

409
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,679
Speaker 4: when I was in Denver one year I played the

410
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:44,320
Speaker 4: south Park pinball machine. But yeah, yeah, so it's kind

411
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:49,160
Speaker 4: of a bad pinball machine. Actually that's sad to hear.

412
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 1: Yeah.

413
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 4: Wait, actually I forget if maybe it wasn't maybe it

414
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 4: was fine. I like pinball machines that have a lot

415
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 4: of stuff on them, what what, like like ones that

416
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 4: have like three D shit in them. I don't. Like

417
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,440
Speaker 4: there's a lot of pinball machines that feel kind of

418
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:07,119
Speaker 4: lazy where it's like the theming of it is just

419
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 4: like the it's all just like standard pinball, but the

420
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:15,199
Speaker 4: theming is like just like shit plastered on it, and

421
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 4: it doesn't feel like it has uh a lot of

422
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 4: like depth to it. I like three D. I like

423
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:27,439
Speaker 4: uh stuff in the pinball machine, you know, not just

424
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,120
Speaker 4: like theming at the bottom of just this standard ass

425
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 4: pinball machine.

426
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Speaker 2: I agree.

427
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 3: I like the Star Wars once where they have like

428
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,560
Speaker 3: the ships like flying out towards the glass, like that's right.

429
00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 3: I don't think they just like slap like like a

430
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:44,040
Speaker 3: deadpool sticker on there and be like it's the pool pinball.

431
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,640
Speaker 4: Right right, exactly, exactly exactly.

432
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 3: I got a weird question for you, Deek go ahead.

433
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 3: I used to ask this question to people while playing Overwatch,

434
00:22:56,240 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 3: and I just I've always wanted your take on it. Sure, right, yeah,

435
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 3: boy genius or menace? Why?

436
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:05,960
Speaker 4: Why?

437
00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 3: But he has a nuclear powered canine? Like how is

438
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 3: that okay?

439
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:18,640
Speaker 4: In the sense that he brought sentience to something.

440
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 3: That and like someone gave him nuclear material, Like he

441
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 3: has some kind of like a nuclear reactor or thin

442
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 3: power in his dog that he brings to school.

443
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 4: That okay? That is whether or not he's a menace.

444
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 4: I'm well, let's get into this. Is it is interesting

445
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 4: to think about how he sources his materials, like how

446
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 4: did he get the nuclear or whatever the fuck to

447
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 4: get because he can't he can't just make all this

448
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 4: stuff from scratch. He has to get certain materials that

449
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,360
Speaker 4: are difficult to get and did yeah, and did he

450
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 4: get those materials through highly unethical means?

451
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 1: Is is kind of what you're implying.

452
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 3: Well, I'm like, on Young Sheldon, he tried to do

453
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 3: the same thing, and the FBI shut up at his

454
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,840
Speaker 3: house and all he did was buy like smoke detectors

455
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 3: you know, mmm mmmm If I don't know. In the movie,

456
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,920
Speaker 3: he got all the like he sent that toaster into

457
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:35,600
Speaker 3: space and then all the parents got kidnapped. Like where

458
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:36,920
Speaker 3: where does the Blaine fault there?

459
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, I guess he does. Through science. It's the question,

460
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 4: it's the sciences the it's the question that plagues scientists

461
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 4: often of we we were so deeply focused on whether

462
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,400
Speaker 4: or not we good that we didn't stop to think

463
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:07,400
Speaker 4: if we should And maybe a lot of Jimmy Neutron's inventions.

464
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 1: Teeter on that.

465
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 4: I'll say that. Here's what I'll say, and I'll say this,

466
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 4: not having recently watched the show, is that I do

467
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 4: generally believe that Jimmy Neutron has good intentions, that he

468
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 4: wants to create things that serve humanity and his friends.

469
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 3: I could get behind that he like accidentally causes the damage.

470
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, what do you I mean, what do you think?

471
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 3: I think? I think it's a double edged sword. I

472
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 3: can I can see it like a lot of ways.

473
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 3: But like I also remember that, like I can't remember

474
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 3: if it was Sene or Carr, but like he turned

475
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,399
Speaker 3: one of them into like a combination of like the

476
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 3: Thing and the Hulk, and like, oh yeah, I feel

477
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,120
Speaker 3: like growing that size. Like I feel like you just

478
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,359
Speaker 3: like don't turn into that and then forget about it.

479
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 4: Wait a minute, are you talking about. Oh, dude, there's

480
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 4: a gnarly episode you know. I'm gonna rewatch this today.

481
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 4: There's a gnarly episode of Jimmy Neutron that I forgot about.

482
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,840
Speaker 4: Do you remember the one where he makes Sheen a

483
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 4: super genius and then Sheen completely loses himself.

484
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 3: And like his head gets all swollen.

485
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, and his head gets like super swollen and it

486
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 4: becomes like a god.

487
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 3: Yeah. Like he doesn't forget that, like his memory is

488
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:45,400
Speaker 3: still there, you know, like like like the day after,

489
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 3: he's gonna remember, oh, I was a super genius and

490
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 3: lost all of it.

491
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, hmm, okay, I'm gonna rewatch that. Maybe maybe after

492
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 4: watching that, I'll think he was a menace.

493
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 3: Watch The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour two, dude.

494
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 4: The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour was my ship growing up.

495
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I gotta rewatch that. I gotta rewatch it.

496
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 4: You know what, I'm not into like movies at all.

497
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 4: I don't really and I'm I'm I've never been into

498
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:16,080
Speaker 4: like serialized dramas or like movies or whatever. Like I

499
00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:20,640
Speaker 4: would gladly just sit down as an adults and rewatch

500
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:23,560
Speaker 4: The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour. More than I would rather

501
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:26,040
Speaker 4: do that than watch like White Lotus. I don't know

502
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 4: what that says about me.

503
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 3: But I'm the same way. I basically just watched King

504
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:30,680
Speaker 3: of the Hill.

505
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm not I have I don't have a long

506
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 4: enough attention span for like to get into a fucking

507
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:37,640
Speaker 4: whole movie.

508
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 3: Perspect that I'm It takes very It takes a lot

509
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 3: for me to get invested in a movie. And like

510
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 3: I went out of uh I want to. I went

511
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 3: to film school for a year and then it was

512
00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 3: like going every weekend of the movies and then just

513
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 3: like again, it always stacked the Sonic because like Sonic

514
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 3: the Hedgehog came out, then COVID happened, and then I

515
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:03,160
Speaker 3: just not to speak into the movies. But I also

516
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 3: like I've hired everything, so it makes it hard.

517
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,440
Speaker 4: I'm really happy having this conversation with you right now

518
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:13,399
Speaker 4: because I was thinking about this earlier in our conversation.

519
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 4: Is I sometimes feel like I have forgotten how to

520
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:28,360
Speaker 4: have conversations that are like like, I really enjoy sometimes

521
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 4: having very heady conversations about life and existential thought and

522
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:37,640
Speaker 4: the universe and meaning and self improvement and developing all

523
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 4: this stuff. But I think sometimes I get so wrapped

524
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 4: up in that world that I am I arrive at

525
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 4: a place where I'm like, oh no, I've I think

526
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 4: I've forgotten how to just have a fucking normal conversation.

527
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 4: And then we started talking about pinball and Jimmy Neutron,

528
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 4: and I was like, okay, I'm back, I'm bad. I

529
00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 4: feel safe in the fact that I can have have

530
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 4: and express fully presently in my entire body refined opinions

531
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,120
Speaker 4: about a pinball machine that that kind of gave me

532
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 4: some relief. I was like, all right, I'm still okay.

533
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 4: I can still live deeply in the matrix of of

534
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 4: can I I think I tried to talk about this

535
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 4: on the podcast at some point, and maybe I just

536
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,760
Speaker 4: have dimension I forgot. But this is a this is

537
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 4: a this is a micro story that maybe you'll understand.

538
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:35,480
Speaker 4: I was at Target the I don't this is gonna

539
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 4: make no if you're not insane, it's gonna make no sense.

540
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 1: I was at Target the other day.

541
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 4: And I was like, I was just having like insane

542
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 4: like thoughts, like out of matrix thoughts, and then I

543
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,720
Speaker 4: was I went, I was I forget what I was

544
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 4: looking for there?

545
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 1: I think I was.

546
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 4: I wanted to Oh, I wanted to by uh for

547
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 4: olmens or whatever. And so I went up to one

548
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 4: of the guys working there and I was like, hey, man,

549
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 4: do you know where the omens are? And he was like, oh,

550
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,680
Speaker 4: they're in an aisle three. And I was like, thanks, man,

551
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 4: I appreciate it. And then in my head I went, oh,

552
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 4: I'm so back in the In my head, I went, dude,

553
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 4: I just went up to a guy in a store

554
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 4: and asked him where something was. I'm so deeply back

555
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 4: into the matrix right now.

556
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: This is awesome.

557
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 4: Like They're like, do you know what I mean? Is that?

558
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: Is that an insane thought to have?

559
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 4: Like? Like, oh, I'm so I'm like, I'm like a

560
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 4: I'm like such a real person right now. I'm at

561
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 4: a grocery store asking a guy where the omens are

562
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 4: and getting the omens and buying them. I'm like a

563
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 4: real person right now. I am deeply in trench in

564
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 4: the matrix of the human experience.

565
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 3: No, I completely I I door d ash like just

566
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 3: a butt tome and like I definitely feel like I'm

567
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 3: just like running like side quest over and over again. Yeah,

568
00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 3: and then like I do something like going to the

569
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 3: grocery store, or like like I delivered to some hotel

570
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 3: the other day and like the lady like talked to

571
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 3: me and told me where to go, and I was like,

572
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,840
Speaker 3: that's rare. Normally they pretend I don't exist, and it's

573
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 3: like it was nice to feel like that separation.

574
00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, you feel like you're here. What kind

575
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 4: of elements?

576
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: What kind of nuts do you like?

577
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,520
Speaker 3: So funny thing about that I can't eat any nuts

578
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 3: or I'll die.

579
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:48,240
Speaker 4: Oh peanuts, all.

580
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: Peanuts, tree nuts. On my birthday, like two years ago,

581
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,640
Speaker 3: one of my friends excidentally gave me a moleet, which

582
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 3: is like some chocolate like peanut butter, neat thing, I think.

583
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 3: But I took like one bite and then I was like, oh,

584
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:06,160
Speaker 3: this has peanuts in it. And then I just, you know,

585
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 3: I don't have an EpiPen because that's really expensive, so

586
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 3: I just uh, I just had a MC chicken and

587
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 3: I brushed my teeth and then I was all.

588
00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 4: Set, Oh, I love I love mcchickens.

589
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 3: I agree, they just M chicken should not be two dollars,

590
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 3: so I'm saying it's criminal.

591
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 1: Are they too?

592
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 4: They used to be one dollar right there there?

593
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 3: Used to be a dollar, and they like vary by location,

594
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 3: so like the one near my house is like two

595
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 3: sixty m m. It makes me sick.

596
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 4: What yeah? What have you do? You have the shamrock

597
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 4: shake recently?

598
00:32:39,560 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 3: At all I had? I had?

599
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 1: How was that?

600
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 3: You know? It was? It was all right, you know

601
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,880
Speaker 3: I had it? Well, it was door dashing and it

602
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 3: was uh, it was just kind of a nice little treat.

603
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 3: It's been a super windy here though, so I uh

604
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 3: didn't get enjoyed and it's full like experience with the

605
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 3: windows down.

606
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 4: Mm hmm mm hmm. What's your name again?

607
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: Jack?

608
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: Jack? Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack?

609
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 4: How old are you?

610
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 3: Jack? I am twenty five?

611
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 1: Cool?

612
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 4: Cool, mhmm.

613
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 1: What else?

614
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 3: Older younger than you expected?

615
00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 4: I assumed you were like around my age. What else

616
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 4: do I? Is there anything else that you want to

617
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 4: talk about?

618
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 3: I think I mentioned all the big ones, you know,

619
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 3: the Big Chicken, Sonic, the Hedgehog.

620
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 4: Yeah.

621
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 3: What's your take on the Minecraft movie?

622
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 4: I have? I have no take Minecraft. I have no

623
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 4: take on the Minecraft movie. I have no The only

624
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 4: thing I know about Minecraft is that like kids like it,

625
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 4: and there's like people wear a lot of T shirts

626
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 4: of it and you know. I was never a Minecraft guy.

627
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:14,440
Speaker 4: I have no I'm very removed from from the Minecraft universe.

628
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 4: Do you have do you have takes on the Minecraft

629
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 4: on the Minecraft movie?

630
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,040
Speaker 3: I just I like that action figure they have that

631
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,960
Speaker 3: looks like a joke from like Awkwardteam Hunger Force efficiently

632
00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 3: like a Jack Black like action figure. Oh yeah, he

633
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:28,800
Speaker 3: got like a middle aged dude.

634
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 4: What's that episode of Aquatane Hunger Force with the I know,

635
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 4: I know the exact aquaden Hunger Force episode that you're

636
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 4: referring to. What's the name of that fucking guy in

637
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 4: the episode, like Meetwad gets a.

638
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:42,960
Speaker 3: I think it's like Carl or something.

639
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 4: No, me meet. There is an episode of Aquatune where

640
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 4: Meatwad gets a fucking uh action figure. But it's just

641
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:57,640
Speaker 4: like some guy if you know, if right, write us

642
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 4: in the comments if you know the episode that we're

643
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 4: talking about. Mm hmm. This is I really enjoyed having

644
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 4: this conversation.

645
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:11,560
Speaker 1: With you, Jack.

646
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 3: This is a dream come true.

647
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:15,799
Speaker 4: This is a dreaming. This is a fucking dream come

648
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 4: true for me too. Man, God damn ship fuck balls. Uh.

649
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 4: All right, I guess, I guess, I guess I guess

650
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 4: we can end it.

651
00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 1: I guess we can.

652
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,840
Speaker 4: I guess this can be what it was, And like,

653
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 4: if you have anything else you want to, you know,

654
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 4: go if you if if you don't have anything else,

655
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 4: I'm good to move on. But if you if you

656
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:46,759
Speaker 4: have anything, if you have anything else, we can do it.

657
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,240
Speaker 3: I'll I'll leave you off with one of my favorite

658
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 3: work stories ahead. I used to work at Best Buy

659
00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:00,680
Speaker 3: in Kansas. It was it was Super Bowl Someday, and

660
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:02,600
Speaker 3: it was early in the day and I was in

661
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 3: the bathroom. We had been open for like thirty minutes,

662
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 3: and I'm sitting there and this dude comes in and

663
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,840
Speaker 3: cracks open a beer on Super Bowl Sunday in this

664
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:17,439
Speaker 3: best five bathroom and he just heat He finishes three

665
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,640
Speaker 3: beers before leaving, and I got to have my favorite

666
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 3: radio call the Best Buy, which I just got to

667
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 3: tell my manager. I was like, Hey, some guy just

668
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 3: drank like three beers in the bathroom. I don't know

669
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 3: what you want me to do about it, but I

670
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 3: just just let you know.

671
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 4: Have you eard that you ever drank three beers in

672
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 4: the bathroom.

673
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 3: I don't think I'm powerful enough like I've definitely Like

674
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 3: when I first moved out, I definitely had like a

675
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 3: like a shower beer. You know, I think that's why

676
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:54,839
Speaker 3: TVR exists. But you know, I don't think I've dived

677
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 3: deeper than that.

678
00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: Jack.

679
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 4: It's a pleasure talking to you. Thanks for thanks for

680
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,319
Speaker 4: being on the phone with me, uh and listening to

681
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:08,720
Speaker 4: me rant and ranting yourself.

682
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,440
Speaker 1: This was This was good. I hope, I hope.

683
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 2: Uh.

684
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, this was good. I hope you have a good

685
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:15,719
Speaker 1: rest of your life. Jack.

686
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,560
Speaker 3: I hope you have a good rest of your life. Lyle.

687
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 4: I'm gonna try my I'm gonna Jack. I'm gonna try

688
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,760
Speaker 4: my fucking goddamn best.

689
00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 3: I believe in you.

690
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 4: Have a good night, Jack, have a good night.

691
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 3: Jack.

692
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 4: What a great phone call? I don't I don't know.

693
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 4: Sometimes you know, this was good. This was I I

694
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 4: I I truly enjoyed chatting with that guy. He was

695
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,759
Speaker 4: a good hang. He was a good Uh, he's a

696
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 4: good he's a good foil too. Whatever the hell this is.

697
00:37:55,719 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 4: Thank you, Jack, You're you're an American hero today. Hello, Hi, Hi,

698
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 4: what is.

699
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,439
Speaker 2: Your name, Amanda? What's your name?

700
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:07,320
Speaker 4: My name is Lyle. My name is Lyle. Nice to

701
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 4: meet you, Amanda.

702
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 2: What's going on with by Lyle, Oh, you know, just

703
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:15,240
Speaker 2: hanging out, but you're being a little more vulnerable today.

704
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 2: I'm digging it.

705
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 4: I'm I feel like I'm always It's interesting to hear

706
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,240
Speaker 4: you say that because I feel like I'm always uh,

707
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 4: I'm always doing that, and then wondering if that's a

708
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 4: fucking good idea.

709
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:31,080
Speaker 2: No, you share nothing about yourself. That's talk about other

710
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 2: people's problems.

711
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 4: That's not true. I I I compulsively rant about my

712
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 4: brain a lot on here.

713
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:45,239
Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, but like the second it's too much,

714
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:45,800
Speaker 2: We're done.

715
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, sure, though I.

716
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 2: Was anxious, I was on my phone blah blah blah.

717
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 2: I'm not a sucker, but I have a weird memory.

718
00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:03,040
Speaker 4: But yeah, when oh, okay, hold on, hold on, okay,

719
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,600
Speaker 4: so and I'll talk about it. So wait, first of all,

720
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:07,600
Speaker 4: did I when did I talk about that?

721
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:12,920
Speaker 2: Because I forget live like this week early in the week.

722
00:39:13,040 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 2: But the second time that okay, So, I guess the

723
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 2: first night you did it, you weren't feeling it. I

724
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 2: wasn't there for that. But then you picked up and

725
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 2: you were happy. You talked to Casey the mathematician, and

726
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 2: he had something that you were interested in. But then

727
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:32,040
Speaker 2: he had to go on his lunch break.

728
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, the salmon fishing guy.

729
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 4: That was the last episode. Okay, so I guess for context,

730
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 4: for context, I don't know if this is something I

731
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:38,759
Speaker 4: talked about.

732
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 2: I was live for that.

733
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 4: It wasn't like, yeah, okay, so I don't know if

734
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:55,719
Speaker 4: this was I don't know if this was fucking on

735
00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:58,959
Speaker 4: the live stream or on the podcast. But yes, okay,

736
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,840
Speaker 4: to give context to you were saying, I remember talking

737
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 4: about being at dinner with a couple friends, and I

738
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:10,839
Speaker 4: was just like, I was very I was just on

739
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:16,000
Speaker 4: my phone, very anxiously, writing stuff on my notes app,

740
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 4: checking Instagram, like looking at shit.

741
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 3: And.

742
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 2: Good for you for going to dinner, Good.

743
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,200
Speaker 4: For me for going What do you mean good for

744
00:40:26,239 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 4: me for going to dinner?

745
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 2: No, seriously, like when yeah, it sounds like you didn't

746
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:36,800
Speaker 2: fucking feel good. Sorry, but you went to dinner anyway,

747
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:39,359
Speaker 2: and you were like, man, I wasn't having a good time.

748
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,960
Speaker 4: Well oh hold on, so okay, let me, I guess,

749
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:43,400
Speaker 4: let me let me explain this, Let.

750
00:40:43,239 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 2: Me explain this with your anxiety at least, well, let.

751
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 1: Me let me explain this.

752
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 4: And everyone is wired differently, Everyone's wired way differently. I

753
00:40:55,920 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 4: have for me right now, and and honestly, I I

754
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,040
Speaker 4: don't know. I don't know what the future holds, but

755
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 4: for me right now, I'm the kind of person where

756
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,279
Speaker 4: like if I some people when they get depressed or

757
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 4: they get anxious, they withdraw and they're like, I need

758
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 4: to be alone in my room not doing anything. I'm

759
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 4: I'm the opposite, and I'm like, if I am alone

760
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 4: in my room not doing anything, I get really depressed

761
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 4: and anxious, and I am I am like I always

762
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 4: I have like a strong compulsion. I always want to

763
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 4: be out of my house and around people as much

764
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,040
Speaker 4: as possible. I want to be out of my house

765
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 4: and around other people as much as possible until until

766
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 4: my goal is to do that until I'm so exhausted

767
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 4: that I am enjoying being out of my house. I mean,

768
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 4: that's why I have That's why I had so much

769
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 4: fun touring and fucking doing all this shit. Right and

770
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:04,880
Speaker 4: so the the the anxiety me being on my phone

771
00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 4: at dinner, the reason I was so anxious on my

772
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 4: phone at dinner is because I am you know, I

773
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 4: guess like I was just being vulnerable talking about excidential

774
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 4: crisis is all that stuff that I can talk about

775
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 4: on here is I'm like, my brain works in such

776
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 4: a way where I'm like, Okay, I need to solve

777
00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:29,560
Speaker 4: this problem. And if I am out to if I'm

778
00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:33,680
Speaker 4: out with my friend or I'm around people, and I

779
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 4: feel like I am not taking action on any of

780
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 4: my problems in some way, shape or form, I get

781
00:42:43,719 --> 00:42:46,680
Speaker 4: anxious and I'm like on my phone in my notes

782
00:42:46,719 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 4: appsc this is. I'm kind of in a period of

783
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 4: my life where I'm like, you know, I've identified certain

784
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:59,360
Speaker 4: things that I'm I'm you know, would like to see

785
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 4: change in my life, and so I'm very anxiously scribbling

786
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 4: down ideas and things and whatnot, you know, so that

787
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:18,600
Speaker 4: I can uh solve these problems. This has This is

788
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 4: how I've operated, I think for my whole life. I

789
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:23,680
Speaker 4: think it's too good.

790
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:25,799
Speaker 1: I think it's how good.

791
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 4: I think it's how I'll probably operate for the rest

792
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 4: of my life. Because when you when I have a problem,

793
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:37,680
Speaker 4: it just fucking fucks with my head until I can

794
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:41,359
Speaker 4: figure out how to fucking solve it. And so I

795
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 4: just get anxious and I'm not and it's weird because

796
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,000
Speaker 4: I'm not present. But here's the thing, and you say,

797
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 4: it's really good, and I appreciate that, and I actually

798
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:53,319
Speaker 4: agree with you, and I do think for I do

799
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 4: think it's good for now. But also, let me tell

800
00:43:55,960 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 4: you something, it fucks me in some ways because sometimes

801
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 4: when you're on your phone and it's it's about balance,

802
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 4: I think balance is the issue.

803
00:44:05,719 --> 00:44:07,880
Speaker 1: And this I really want you to know.

804
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 4: I really want people listening to this podcast to know

805
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,920
Speaker 4: I am not saying and I never say any of

806
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,320
Speaker 4: these fucking things in like a coaching I know the

807
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:19,400
Speaker 4: answer way at the end of this fucking Sometimes I

808
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:21,759
Speaker 4: know you know that, but sometimes I just want to

809
00:44:21,760 --> 00:44:24,840
Speaker 4: reiterate that this podcast is like, this is me doing

810
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 4: therapy publicly for myself, talking these things out. So this

811
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:29,799
Speaker 4: is just all for me.

812
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:30,480
Speaker 3: Is like.

813
00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:38,680
Speaker 4: The the anxiety. Oh okay, here's what I was gonna say.

814
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:42,960
Speaker 4: There's a weird balance to it right where it's like, okay, sure,

815
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 4: let me dedicate a part of my day and a

816
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,320
Speaker 4: part of my life and a part of my time

817
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:53,680
Speaker 4: to endlessly bang my head against the wall, being like

818
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 4: I have this fucking problem and I want to solve it,

819
00:44:56,560 --> 00:45:00,440
Speaker 4: and I'm not going to stop banging my fucking head

820
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,760
Speaker 4: against the wall until I solve it and that's great.

821
00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 2: It's like.

822
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:08,239
Speaker 4: It's like it's like life. It's like life sudoku. But

823
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:11,320
Speaker 4: I think I've realized. I think I've realized that I'm like, Okay,

824
00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 4: do that for some period of the day, but then afterwards,

825
00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:21,760
Speaker 4: just be at dinner with your friend.

826
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 2: Just don't want you to stop coming on the podcast,

827
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:30,719
Speaker 2: and like I want you to be okay first and foremost,

828
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:35,759
Speaker 2: but like I sure, I personally, like I'm listening and

829
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:39,279
Speaker 2: it's like, oh me, I'm like it's wearing and he

830
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 2: doesn't want to do this anymore, and I'm scared.

831
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 4: You know what. The sometimes well, but then.

832
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 2: You come out with a really good like like a

833
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,759
Speaker 2: really thing that like fills your cup, and I'm like, oh,

834
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:52,919
Speaker 2: it's fine, you know, well's.

835
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 4: I mean, that's what sucks? Is is Well, it's not

836
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 4: it's not what's you know, I'm not gonna say that.

837
00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:57,359
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say it sucks.

838
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 4: It just is what is. And now we're getting we're

839
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 4: getting so meta and I don't know, I don't I

840
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 4: actually don't even care because I'm enjoying it. Is that

841
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:08,240
Speaker 4: it just depends on the fucking day, man, Like honestly,

842
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:13,120
Speaker 4: like like today and this podcast and talking to the

843
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:16,200
Speaker 4: guy I just talked to and even talking to you

844
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 4: right now and whatever. I'm really enjoying this. I really

845
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 4: feel present, I really feel good, and I'm like, oh,

846
00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 4: this is a great thing. But then sometimes I just

847
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 4: show up and I'm like, fucking, I.

848
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 2: Can't let me tell you something. Get it's not you.

849
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,080
Speaker 4: I think it is me, No.

850
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:39,680
Speaker 2: But no it's not. I.

851
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 4: Well, okay, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna let you give

852
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:45,280
Speaker 4: your perspective and then I'll give mine, but go ahead.

853
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:53,359
Speaker 2: It's just like you're listening to these people call and

854
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:57,440
Speaker 2: talk to some of them varying on IQ levels, and

855
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 2: it's like they're problems are not something that like you

856
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:07,840
Speaker 2: can even relate to sometimes, and if you do, you

857
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 2: do a good job of like telling them. But like

858
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 2: you're walking such a fine line of like your podcasts

859
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:18,320
Speaker 2: and like actually caring about these people, and like that's

860
00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 2: gonna drain anybody, Like sure, it's not.

861
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, sure, And you know what I mean is I

862
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 4: I I do agree with you on that. I will

863
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 4: say that.

864
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:34,200
Speaker 1: I will say that I don't think it's.

865
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,680
Speaker 2: Bad for you. I say I like that you caught

866
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 2: when like some days you're like, Nope, thank you. I

867
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:41,959
Speaker 2: like that. That's good. That's a good boundary.

868
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 4: Like, yeah, I'm happy to hear that. Thank you for

869
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 4: thank you for the support. That's really that's very kind

870
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 4: of you to say.

871
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:56,799
Speaker 2: I'm not kind. I'm not.

872
00:47:58,440 --> 00:48:00,960
Speaker 4: I'm not making a judge as to whether or not

873
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:03,279
Speaker 4: I'm not making Let me tell you this, I am

874
00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 4: not making a judgment on what kind of person you are.

875
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 4: Only you can tell me what kind of person you are.

876
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 4: But I can with absolutely, I can absolutely objectively tell you.

877
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 4: But it is an objective fact that I've felt kindness

878
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 4: from you just now, in this exact moment. But I

879
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 4: I can't. I can't stay at any other objective facts

880
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 4: about your life as a whole, but I can object

881
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 4: it is an objective fact that I believe that you

882
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:33,399
Speaker 4: in this.

883
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:37,280
Speaker 2: Very moment, I want to ask you something. Go ahead,

884
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 2: how how do you do it? Like I'm like, I

885
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 2: just told you I'm not kind, But I feel like intellectually,

886
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,919
Speaker 2: like I get sometimes what you get, and I get

887
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 2: why you call it quits, and I get why you

888
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 2: don't want to talk to certain people, but like I

889
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:58,720
Speaker 2: can't like do what you do with like yeah, no, thanks.

890
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 2: Like I though, boundaries are are so hard for me

891
00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 2: to like say, I like, yeah, well it's not just

892
00:49:11,760 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 2: being a woman either. Maybe it is, well, but.

893
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 4: I mean, okay, well I'll tell you a couple of things.

894
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:24,280
Speaker 4: Is that one eyes, I actually really, I sincerely really

895
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 4: struggle with that because I want, I want, like I

896
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:37,360
Speaker 4: I I struggle with that because I want when I

897
00:49:37,400 --> 00:49:42,000
Speaker 4: have an interaction with folk or folks or whatever, I

898
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 4: want to be uh perfect, you are nice.

899
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:49,680
Speaker 2: You're you're like you draw the line without being like.

900
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 4: Well, I want to do that, but I I don't.

901
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 4: But you can't if you put pressure on yourself to

902
00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:00,400
Speaker 4: do that. If you put pressure yourself to be perfect,

903
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 4: you will You're just gonna want to get you. You're

904
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:05,440
Speaker 4: gonna fucking kill yourself if you do that. Like, if

905
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 4: you put pressure, if you put so much pressure, if

906
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:12,840
Speaker 4: you put so much pressure on yourself to fucking be

907
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:17,759
Speaker 4: a perfect you, you'll fucking kill yourself. So I I

908
00:50:17,760 --> 00:50:20,960
Speaker 4: I at a certain point, and I struggle with doing this,

909
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 4: but I think I at a certain point I have

910
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:25,839
Speaker 4: to just be like.

911
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:28,840
Speaker 1: And again, I don't know how good about it.

912
00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:31,839
Speaker 4: I'm kind of intellectualizing it, but at a certain point,

913
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:32,319
Speaker 4: you just have to.

914
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 2: Go, like accept, I just want to know how you

915
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:36,359
Speaker 2: take another phone call.

916
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:40,160
Speaker 4: Uh. The answer is that I drank. The answer is

917
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:43,000
Speaker 4: that I drank a Celsius before this, which makes me

918
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,319
Speaker 4: feel like a normal caffeine makes me feel like a

919
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 4: normal person.

920
00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 2: I don't think Celsius is that bad, and I'm an

921
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:51,720
Speaker 2: icy universe.

922
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:55,799
Speaker 4: But how do you do how do you do well?

923
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:57,919
Speaker 4: How do you do fucking that? I mean, god, damn,

924
00:50:58,000 --> 00:50:59,080
Speaker 4: that's an intense job.

925
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 2: I don't have to. They don't talk, they're intubated, they

926
00:51:06,760 --> 00:51:13,120
Speaker 2: have a breathing tube, they're dead, and I'm keeping them alive.

927
00:51:15,560 --> 00:51:18,239
Speaker 4: I mean, god damn, that's a I mean that your

928
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:19,719
Speaker 4: your when they talk?

929
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 2: Why not I don't because then it's like, oh man,

930
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:31,120
Speaker 2: your life sucks, you know, but mine is worse. So

931
00:51:31,239 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 2: like hold on, really equivalent.

932
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:39,080
Speaker 4: Wait, you don't like when they talk because you don't

933
00:51:39,120 --> 00:51:41,560
Speaker 4: like when they talk because when they talk it's.

934
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:46,719
Speaker 2: Depressing mm hmm, or like they're problems that I can't

935
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:52,080
Speaker 2: help them with or legally I'm not allowed to, or yeah,

936
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,919
Speaker 2: there's you're right. Everyone is going through it. Man.

937
00:51:57,480 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 4: There's an episode of the show Uh Louis that I

938
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 4: really love where Uh it's it's Louis c K's TV show.

939
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:16,239
Speaker 2: Okay, I saw her live like after the scandal three

940
00:52:16,320 --> 00:52:17,600
Speaker 2: years ago, Louie.

941
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 1: Okay, I guess so you've seen him before.

942
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:24,799
Speaker 2: I'm in Syracuse. Unfortunately, I know how you feel about it.

943
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 1: But what do you mean you know how I I liked?

944
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 4: Wait?

945
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,600
Speaker 1: Wait, hold on? How do I feel about Syracuse? I'm

946
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 1: going to get back to.

947
00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 2: The Funny Bone is not the only comedy club.

948
00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 4: Hold on, I hold on, hold on, just I just

949
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:41,879
Speaker 4: want to set the record. I just want to set

950
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 4: the whole on. Can I set the record straight? I

951
00:52:43,239 --> 00:52:46,200
Speaker 4: had a fucking sick time at the comedy club in Syracuse.

952
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 2: People for Yeah, but like you hung out in a

953
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 2: parking lot. I told you my memory is weird. I

954
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:52,880
Speaker 2: swear I'm not saying.

955
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:55,520
Speaker 4: Wait but yeah, but yeah, I hung out. You're one

956
00:52:55,560 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 4: hundred percent right. I did talk about hanging out in

957
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:00,040
Speaker 4: the park so much more. I hung out in the

958
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 4: parking lot of a mall in Syracuse, and I had

959
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:03,759
Speaker 4: a sick time.

960
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:17,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like everyone besides you, ah, just Syracuse. People

961
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:21,759
Speaker 2: defend themselves. So it's like podcasters are scared talk shit.

962
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:27,359
Speaker 2: But I know they don't like it here it sucks, you.

963
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:30,759
Speaker 4: Can but look, look here's look, it's what I want

964
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:34,960
Speaker 4: what I want to I will tell you objectively. Going

965
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 4: to Syracuse for a day to do my Gecko show

966
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:41,760
Speaker 4: and then hanging out in the parking lot afterwards.

967
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:42,200
Speaker 1: Was a lot of fun.

968
00:53:42,520 --> 00:53:44,839
Speaker 4: Right, No, it's great. No, it was more than all right.

969
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 4: It was a great time. But would I want to

970
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:52,239
Speaker 4: live in Syracuse? I guess not particularly, but hold on, okay,

971
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:52,880
Speaker 4: So I don't.

972
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:55,840
Speaker 2: Live in Syracuse. I live in like, I live like

973
00:53:56,640 --> 00:54:01,800
Speaker 2: fifteen miles away. But I can't, you know, I can't

974
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:03,520
Speaker 2: anyway on the subject.

975
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 1: Okay.

976
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:09,160
Speaker 4: So there's an episode of Louis. It's called what's the

977
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:13,719
Speaker 4: fucking It's called Eddie and in it, I don't know

978
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:16,239
Speaker 4: if you ever watched the show, but in it this

979
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 4: uh uh do you know the comedian Doug stan Hope.

980
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:25,239
Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. But I'm so bad with names like.

981
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,840
Speaker 4: But it's funny because that. Okay, So there's an episode

982
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 4: of Louis that's kind of about the subject that we're

983
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:33,320
Speaker 4: talking about, and it's a little I don't know what

984
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:35,399
Speaker 4: to make of it, but it's a fast I don't

985
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 4: know what to make of it, but it's it's a

986
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 4: fascinating episode, so.

987
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:42,759
Speaker 1: You should watch it. And I'm curious. I'm curious what

988
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 1: you will think.

989
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:49,760
Speaker 4: So in it, uh, Louie, he like does the spot

990
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:53,760
Speaker 4: at the comedy Cellar in New York, and he runs

991
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 4: into an old friend Eddie played by Doug stan Hope,

992
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:03,600
Speaker 4: and his old friend is like this comedian that he

993
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 4: used to run with back in the day. And then

994
00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 4: like the open mic scene and Louis had.

995
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 2: Seen it's, uh it's like a series.

996
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,640
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, yeah, sure, I think, but so in it, Okay,

997
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 4: So in it, it's not it's not serialized, if that's.

998
00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 2: What you're asking, Like, I'm comparing it to my man's

999
00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:28,879
Speaker 2: I think you should leave.

1000
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, sure, yeah, it's not.

1001
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:31,840
Speaker 2: It's not.

1002
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,040
Speaker 4: It's not. Yeah, it's not serialized. It's not like a

1003
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:37,400
Speaker 4: serialized drunk. So in it, yeah, Louis is like he

1004
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:39,840
Speaker 4: runs into this comedian who he hadn't seen a while

1005
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 4: and they hang out and they palor around and eventually,

1006
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:48,960
Speaker 4: you know, they hang out, they palor around and like, uh,

1007
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:52,920
Speaker 4: Doug Stanhope's character like kind of gets in some trouble Eddie. Yeah,

1008
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,680
Speaker 4: he gets drunk, and you know, they're hanging out, they're

1009
00:55:55,680 --> 00:56:00,319
Speaker 4: talking about old times, and then eventually Doug stand Helps

1010
00:56:00,400 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 4: character says to Louis he's like, he says to him,

1011
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:11,480
Speaker 4: I'm I'm quitting. I'm done, and Louie is like, way, like,

1012
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:13,640
Speaker 4: you're quitting comedy. You're not gonna do comedy anymore. And

1013
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 4: he goes, I'm not quitting comedy, dude, I'm quitting life. Yeah,

1014
00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:21,560
Speaker 4: and he goes he goes, I'm gonna go fucking Upstate.

1015
00:56:21,800 --> 00:56:24,279
Speaker 4: I have one last show. I'm gonna do it, and

1016
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:27,719
Speaker 4: then I'm gonna take a bunch of uh painkillers, and

1017
00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:30,360
Speaker 4: I'm gonna kill myself. And then Louis goes like, what

1018
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:32,480
Speaker 4: do you mean you can't kill yourself? Like he's trying

1019
00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:33,759
Speaker 4: to like talk him out of it, and then Doug

1020
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:38,560
Speaker 4: Stanhip he just laughs and he's like, he just laughs,

1021
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:41,200
Speaker 4: and he goes, look, I get you're trying to do

1022
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 4: a whole big speech right now, and I get you're

1023
00:56:43,080 --> 00:56:46,080
Speaker 4: excited that you're doing this whole big speech, but uh,

1024
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 4: you know, look, I'm not asking you to save me.

1025
00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 4: I'm just I just wanted to say goodbye to somebody.

1026
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 4: And it's really really dark episode.

1027
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:59,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really really, it's really it's.

1028
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:04,120
Speaker 4: It's it's really dark. But then Louie says to him,

1029
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 4: he's like, He's like dude. He's like, dude, you can't

1030
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:09,960
Speaker 4: put this ship on me. And he goes, he goes

1031
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,080
Speaker 4: on this rant and this is kind of what I guess,

1032
00:57:12,640 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 4: this whole this is, this is how it connects back

1033
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 4: to what we were just talking about. Is He goes,

1034
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:21,360
Speaker 4: like he said, he has this line where he goes,

1035
00:57:22,120 --> 00:57:25,920
Speaker 4: I worked hard to figure out what my reasons to

1036
00:57:26,000 --> 00:57:31,000
Speaker 4: live are and I can't just Louie. Louie says to Eddie.

1037
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 4: He goes, I worked really hard, okay, Eddie says to Louie.

1038
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 4: He goes, name one, give me one reason why I

1039
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:41,320
Speaker 4: why I should keep living. Eddie goes, give me one

1040
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:44,960
Speaker 4: reason why I should keep living. And then Louis says, dude,

1041
00:57:44,960 --> 00:57:46,720
Speaker 4: you can't do that. You can't do I'm not gonna

1042
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:48,439
Speaker 4: Louis goes, he goes on this rant and he goes,

1043
00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 4: I'm not going to play that game with you. I

1044
00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 4: worked hard to figure out what my reasons to live

1045
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:56,600
Speaker 4: are and I can't just figure them out to you.

1046
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:58,640
Speaker 4: And if you want to figure out your reasons to

1047
00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:02,640
Speaker 4: live go to bed, he goes, he goes, have a

1048
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 4: drink of water, go to bed, and then wake up

1049
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 4: in the morning and try again, just like everyone else.

1050
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 4: And and it's so it was fascinating. I love that scene.

1051
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:16,880
Speaker 4: I love that whole rant and I and I kind

1052
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:19,360
Speaker 4: of love it from I love it from from both

1053
00:58:19,440 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 4: sides because I'm thinking about it from Doug Stanhope's character,

1054
00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:27,400
Speaker 4: where like because I've I've I've like been there in

1055
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 4: like a like a deep depression of like I've been

1056
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:34,600
Speaker 4: there in a deep depression, and I've been there wanting

1057
00:58:35,200 --> 00:58:38,560
Speaker 4: to be saved and realizing no one's gonna save me.

1058
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,240
Speaker 4: And I and I'm and I just the way that

1059
00:58:40,280 --> 00:58:45,280
Speaker 4: Louis is like fucking drink the whole thing of like, dude,

1060
00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:48,160
Speaker 4: drink a glass of water, go to bed, and wake

1061
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:50,320
Speaker 4: up and figure it out like everyone else. But I'm

1062
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 4: not giving you my I worked hard on my reasons

1063
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:54,160
Speaker 4: to live. I'm not giving them to you. I kind

1064
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 4: of felt that there's like, weirdly, even though it's a

1065
00:58:56,960 --> 00:59:01,040
Speaker 4: depressing scene, there's something I guess weirdly optimistic about it

1066
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:05,560
Speaker 4: about just like look, man, no one's coming of Like look,

1067
00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:08,520
Speaker 4: no one's coming to save you, but like, dude, we're

1068
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:11,280
Speaker 4: all trying to find our reasons to live. Don't fucking

1069
00:59:11,360 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 4: kill yourself. Go to bed, take a drink of water,

1070
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 4: go to bed, and try again tomorrow morning, right and

1071
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 4: then and then take take a drink of water and

1072
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:22,920
Speaker 4: try again tomorrow morning, and just don't don't fucking kill yourself,

1073
00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:25,560
Speaker 4: don't give up. Take it, take a drink of water,

1074
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:28,360
Speaker 4: go to bed, and just try again in the morning

1075
00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:31,680
Speaker 4: like everyone else. And I actually that felt really powerful.

1076
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:35,400
Speaker 4: Hear it, like I'm imagining being in that situation, and

1077
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:38,440
Speaker 4: I felt that way before, wanting to be saved you

1078
00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 4: and you can't be saved. And then I also have

1079
00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:46,920
Speaker 4: had situations where I felt like I was in Louie's

1080
00:59:46,920 --> 00:59:53,200
Speaker 4: position where I was like shit, I've work where I

1081
00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:55,160
Speaker 4: where I felt like I was in that position where

1082
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:59,760
Speaker 4: I'm like fuck, I'm sorry man, Like I'm working really

1083
00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:02,680
Speaker 4: hard it on my reasons to live. I'm trying to

1084
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:06,600
Speaker 4: figure out what mine are, and I I want to

1085
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:10,720
Speaker 4: help you, but I can't just give them.

1086
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:14,640
Speaker 2: To you know, way better than take a sip of

1087
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:15,640
Speaker 2: water and go to bed.

1088
01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:21,760
Speaker 4: But then I hold but hold on, hold on, this

1089
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:24,080
Speaker 4: has nothing to just I just what's your name again?

1090
01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:25,040
Speaker 2: I get it.

1091
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 4: I mean, hold on, Amanda. I first of all, Amanda,

1092
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 4: thank you for thank you again for sitting on the

1093
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:33,680
Speaker 4: phone while I go. Thank you again for sitting on

1094
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:35,920
Speaker 4: the phone while I got on this rant and examine

1095
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 4: this scene. I just love this fucking scene because I

1096
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 4: feel i've i've i've felt like I've been on both

1097
01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:47,920
Speaker 4: sides of this scene and I and and they're kind

1098
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:50,320
Speaker 4: of inspired because it comes back to like the boundaries

1099
01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:54,920
Speaker 4: in a way of being like I can't and I'm trying, okay,

1100
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,560
Speaker 4: and I'm I'm trying to be this is this is

1101
01:00:57,560 --> 01:01:01,440
Speaker 4: an optimistic thing, okay, this is a positive thing again again,

1102
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:06,439
Speaker 4: because there's the one side of it where you want

1103
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:08,880
Speaker 4: to help someone, but you're like, I've worked hard on

1104
01:01:08,920 --> 01:01:12,120
Speaker 4: my reasons to live and I can't just give them

1105
01:01:12,160 --> 01:01:14,320
Speaker 4: to you. And I know what that side feels like.

1106
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:17,440
Speaker 4: And then there's the other side where you feel deeply

1107
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:22,400
Speaker 4: fucking alone and you deeply feel that nobody can help you.

1108
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:24,920
Speaker 1: And I felt that way before.

1109
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:27,720
Speaker 4: And then there is something about that scene that spoke

1110
01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:32,439
Speaker 4: to me in feeling that way where I was like, fuck, man,

1111
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:36,640
Speaker 4: just drink a glass of water, go to bed, wake

1112
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:39,280
Speaker 4: up in the morning, don't you can't kill your don't

1113
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:42,440
Speaker 4: kill yourself, drink a glass of water, wake up in

1114
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:44,560
Speaker 4: the morning and try again like everyone else.

1115
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,440
Speaker 1: And uh, that kind of is the answer.

1116
01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:49,160
Speaker 4: And so again, I just I love the scene because

1117
01:01:49,200 --> 01:01:51,480
Speaker 4: I felt it kind of deeply from from both from

1118
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:56,320
Speaker 4: both sides of it. But anyway, that's that's that that

1119
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:58,120
Speaker 4: that that you know, kind of spoke to me in

1120
01:01:58,280 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 4: in a sense, and I feel like it's back to

1121
01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:03,040
Speaker 4: the kind of meta of what we're talking about.

1122
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:04,600
Speaker 2: It does.

1123
01:02:06,120 --> 01:02:09,840
Speaker 4: It does anyway, Thanks for letting me random anyway.

1124
01:02:10,680 --> 01:02:14,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, one more question, go ahead. You don't talk about

1125
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:15,480
Speaker 2: being Jewish that much.

1126
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:22,280
Speaker 1: I talk about will you?

1127
01:02:22,160 --> 01:02:24,400
Speaker 4: You say I don't talk about being vulnerable and talking

1128
01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:26,160
Speaker 4: about being Jewish? What do you mean I don't talk

1129
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,040
Speaker 4: about being I talk about being Jewish?

1130
01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 2: How do you talk about like? Yeah, I don't know anyway. Uh,

1131
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:39,000
Speaker 2: do you want a Jewish wife? Like not acting Jewish wife?

1132
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:45,520
Speaker 4: My mom would like a Jewish wife. I am indifferent Jewish?

1133
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 4: Are you Jewish?

1134
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:53,200
Speaker 2: I am? But yeah, I'm you. You don't want me.

1135
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:54,640
Speaker 2: I'm hot, but you don't want me.

1136
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:57,360
Speaker 4: Well, that's not what I was at. That's not what

1137
01:02:57,400 --> 01:02:58,000
Speaker 4: I was getting at.

1138
01:02:58,040 --> 01:03:01,200
Speaker 2: But you do need to do wish wife. But you're not,

1139
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,600
Speaker 2: like I just want to say one more thing. You're

1140
01:03:03,640 --> 01:03:10,240
Speaker 2: not the typical. Like you're not the typical. I don't

1141
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:11,040
Speaker 2: even want to say it.

1142
01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:11,680
Speaker 4: Are you going?

1143
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:12,280
Speaker 3: Are you? Are you?

1144
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:15,000
Speaker 4: Hold on? Hold on? Here's the thing you're hold on.

1145
01:03:15,120 --> 01:03:18,600
Speaker 4: Let me say this because you're Jewish. I'm not offended

1146
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:20,640
Speaker 4: at you saying if you want to say, I'm not

1147
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:22,840
Speaker 4: the typical Jewish guy, if that's what you want to say,

1148
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:23,360
Speaker 4: you're not.

1149
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:27,720
Speaker 2: And I'm gonna say, boy, I know you're twenty six,

1150
01:03:27,960 --> 01:03:30,000
Speaker 2: but urgin some and whatever. I don't know when your

1151
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:36,240
Speaker 2: birthday is, but yeah, you're not. You're not. You're way better,

1152
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:40,400
Speaker 2: well just as Harry way better.

1153
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:44,640
Speaker 4: I have hold on. I have multiple things to say

1154
01:03:44,640 --> 01:03:49,640
Speaker 4: to this is okay. Yes, I grew I went to

1155
01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:52,760
Speaker 4: b BYO and I grew up around I know what

1156
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:57,720
Speaker 4: you mean by I. Also by by the way I am,

1157
01:03:57,920 --> 01:04:02,080
Speaker 4: I am body a lot of typical Jewish stereotypes of

1158
01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:10,720
Speaker 4: like neuroticism, and like a lot of I feel very

1159
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:15,919
Speaker 4: I feel I'm I mean, I occasionally will find myself

1160
01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:19,960
Speaker 4: at synagogue once in a blue moon, but I feel

1161
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:23,680
Speaker 4: like I do. I feel very like culturally Jewish, like

1162
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:27,840
Speaker 4: I embody a lot of again the Jewish stay up,

1163
01:04:27,840 --> 01:04:29,680
Speaker 4: but well what about you? Are you looking for a

1164
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:30,960
Speaker 4: Jewish husband?

1165
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:39,440
Speaker 2: Got No, I'm Jewish, but I'm almost like more agnostic.

1166
01:04:39,680 --> 01:04:42,480
Speaker 2: I've been on birthright that kind of thing, like I

1167
01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:47,120
Speaker 2: believe in tradition and preserving. I don't. I'm not a Zionist,

1168
01:04:47,320 --> 01:04:52,120
Speaker 2: but I just I see what the moms see, you know,

1169
01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:53,600
Speaker 2: and why.

1170
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:56,840
Speaker 4: But I mean, they.

1171
01:04:56,760 --> 01:05:00,120
Speaker 2: Changed our last name when we came over, so it's

1172
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:04,280
Speaker 2: like it was scarcely part of our identities. It's just

1173
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:08,360
Speaker 2: like here and there, I still have a Christmas tree.

1174
01:05:10,160 --> 01:05:14,080
Speaker 2: I didn't go to a day school or anything like that.

1175
01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:19,360
Speaker 2: But yeah, I've just been interested because you're like not

1176
01:05:19,440 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 2: as loud about it as the people I went to

1177
01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:28,960
Speaker 2: high school with, and but it's still important to you.

1178
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:30,920
Speaker 2: And that's why I.

1179
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:34,120
Speaker 4: Asked, Yeah, yeah, I am.

1180
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:40,280
Speaker 2: So yeah, but you do like you don't say God blessed,

1181
01:05:40,360 --> 01:05:43,320
Speaker 2: but you're like, I don't not believe in God.

1182
01:05:44,560 --> 01:05:50,000
Speaker 4: Judaism to me is not about God or uh no,

1183
01:05:50,040 --> 01:05:55,320
Speaker 4: it's not about Judaism to me is about being Judaism

1184
01:05:55,320 --> 01:06:00,240
Speaker 4: to me is about being thirteen years old in a

1185
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:03,920
Speaker 4: at a Jewish sleep away camp. Yeah, and you're you

1186
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:07,200
Speaker 4: and your friends are all standing in a circle rubbing

1187
01:06:07,280 --> 01:06:10,920
Speaker 4: gold bond on your balls. Yeah, that's what That's what

1188
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:14,440
Speaker 4: Judaism is for. Judaism is like a culture is a culture.

1189
01:06:14,440 --> 01:06:17,200
Speaker 4: Like when I meet another person who's Jewish, I'm like, Okay,

1190
01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:23,200
Speaker 4: we had similar traditions growing up and similar cultures, but

1191
01:06:23,240 --> 01:06:28,000
Speaker 4: more than I more than it is about like you know, like,

1192
01:06:28,160 --> 01:06:29,800
Speaker 4: oh I believe in something.

1193
01:06:31,320 --> 01:06:34,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I get that. I totally get that. And

1194
01:06:34,120 --> 01:06:36,760
Speaker 2: I have friends who are like in and out of

1195
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:41,440
Speaker 2: believing of something like and like full their families that

1196
01:06:41,560 --> 01:06:46,240
Speaker 2: were like full damn Jewish, you know, no Christmas for nothing.

1197
01:06:46,400 --> 01:06:50,640
Speaker 2: But you got to talk to other people. My kids

1198
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:56,160
Speaker 2: are about to make you lose your ship because there

1199
01:06:56,200 --> 01:07:00,640
Speaker 2: I've been like pushing their foreheads away from me each time.

1200
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:03,120
Speaker 2: They know who you are, they know what I call

1201
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:06,880
Speaker 2: you sometimes, how are they see but they don't hear

1202
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:07,480
Speaker 2: five and eight?

1203
01:07:07,960 --> 01:07:08,160
Speaker 3: Oh?

1204
01:07:08,280 --> 01:07:12,520
Speaker 4: Nice? Nice? Yeah, they're they're so goodous.

1205
01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:14,800
Speaker 2: Huh.

1206
01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 4: I was curious about your life. I feel like I

1207
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:18,360
Speaker 4: just talked about myself for a while.

1208
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:21,600
Speaker 2: Oh God, while my life you don't even want to

1209
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:25,960
Speaker 2: know it's like not cute, not fun. There's no solution

1210
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:34,960
Speaker 2: and you would hate it. But so what everyone? I

1211
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:37,920
Speaker 2: love you so much, Please don't leave us.

1212
01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 4: Okay?

1213
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:46,680
Speaker 2: Is there anything else I want to say to the

1214
01:07:46,720 --> 01:07:53,360
Speaker 2: support Gecko go on twitch by the subscription. Uh, we

1215
01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:58,320
Speaker 2: need him. You don't even know. I love only Gek.

1216
01:07:58,640 --> 01:08:05,560
Speaker 2: I love none of you. And yeah, I'm kitting pun

1217
01:08:05,600 --> 01:08:07,440
Speaker 2: in the chat that annoying girl.

1218
01:08:08,480 --> 01:08:11,240
Speaker 1: Uh Amanda mm hmm.

1219
01:08:12,760 --> 01:08:23,880
Speaker 2: Ye mm hmm. I also love Rhode Island maybe mm hmm. Yeah.

1220
01:08:24,840 --> 01:08:26,800
Speaker 2: Do you live in Rhode Island or were you born

1221
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:27,559
Speaker 2: in Rhode Island?

1222
01:08:28,000 --> 01:08:30,639
Speaker 4: No, I have I have no association with Rhode Islands.

1223
01:08:31,840 --> 01:08:37,840
Speaker 2: What about where were you raised? Gak? I know like

1224
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:40,400
Speaker 2: where you went to? Okay, Maryland? Sorry, I get like

1225
01:08:40,720 --> 01:08:45,960
Speaker 2: Rehobo's and Maryland like sometimes confuse geographically. But if you go,

1226
01:08:46,160 --> 01:08:48,559
Speaker 2: I want to go to the ocean this summer in

1227
01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:52,760
Speaker 2: Delaware or Maryland whenever, I don't care. I want to

1228
01:08:52,760 --> 01:08:56,040
Speaker 2: see you there or in Syracuse again. So and I

1229
01:08:56,040 --> 01:08:57,960
Speaker 2: didn't know the last time you were in Syracuse and

1230
01:08:58,000 --> 01:08:59,960
Speaker 2: I was super bombed and get it back.

1231
01:09:00,120 --> 01:09:02,479
Speaker 4: I'll be back, I I Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm gonna

1232
01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:06,320
Speaker 4: I'm I'm I am planning to tour again if if

1233
01:09:06,360 --> 01:09:09,439
Speaker 4: people are willing, If people, if people are willing to

1234
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:11,679
Speaker 4: come out and see me again in twenty twenty six,

1235
01:09:11,720 --> 01:09:12,360
Speaker 4: I'm will be there.

1236
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:14,360
Speaker 2: They will, they.

1237
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:16,920
Speaker 4: Will, I hope. So I don't know every every every

1238
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:20,040
Speaker 4: single day of this thing. I'm like, every every single

1239
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:22,840
Speaker 4: every single day of this thing. I'm like, I I

1240
01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:24,840
Speaker 4: mean even the fact that you've been listening. I think

1241
01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:26,560
Speaker 4: you said you were listening since the COVID day, So

1242
01:09:26,600 --> 01:09:28,400
Speaker 4: every single day of this thing, I'm like, oh yeah,

1243
01:09:28,479 --> 01:09:32,479
Speaker 4: if people are still on board, I'm still here. So anyway, anyway, anyway,

1244
01:09:32,479 --> 01:09:36,320
Speaker 4: thank you, thank you for your kindness, Amanda. I You're welcome.

1245
01:09:36,800 --> 01:09:38,320
Speaker 1: I I appreciate it.

1246
01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:41,800
Speaker 4: You helped me out today by again being a foil

1247
01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:45,679
Speaker 4: for Meta rant and whatnot. So thank you very much

1248
01:09:45,920 --> 01:09:47,160
Speaker 4: and thank you.

1249
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:49,840
Speaker 2: And if I'm so excited, if you ever talked to

1250
01:09:49,920 --> 01:09:53,439
Speaker 2: Casey again, that guy who is in like his whatever

1251
01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:58,480
Speaker 2: for the fuck, Like, yeah, getting from Dnali or Anchorage,

1252
01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:00,920
Speaker 2: he was fishing. He did seems like a done then

1253
01:10:00,960 --> 01:10:05,760
Speaker 2: he was like brilliant. He was like a physics thing. Whatever. Anyway, Yeah,

1254
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:10,240
Speaker 2: keep on going, man, go out to dinner with your friends. Good,

1255
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:11,719
Speaker 2: go out to dinner with mine.

1256
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:15,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, please do that. Do that, go out to dinner

1257
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:18,519
Speaker 4: with your friends. Live your life, God damn it, Amanda

1258
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:24,040
Speaker 4: gotta live wile, stay alive. Okay, I'll see I will

1259
01:10:24,400 --> 01:10:26,080
Speaker 4: promise all right.

1260
01:10:26,120 --> 01:10:27,559
Speaker 1: Bye bye, okay, bye bye.

1261
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:42,160
Speaker 4: That was Amanda. M that was Amanda. This has been

1262
01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:46,519
Speaker 4: a good episode of people, uh sitting on the phone

1263
01:10:46,560 --> 01:10:48,720
Speaker 4: with me while I rant, which is a dream? This

1264
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:51,400
Speaker 4: is I think that's I I like. I feel like

1265
01:10:51,439 --> 01:10:54,320
Speaker 4: the callers are like their co hosts of the podcast.

1266
01:10:55,200 --> 01:11:04,400
Speaker 4: It's fun. I will, I will, I will pray. I'll

1267
01:11:04,400 --> 01:11:13,519
Speaker 4: pray for everyone. I will pray for everyone. I will

1268
01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:17,280
Speaker 4: pray for everyone.

1269
01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:18,280
Speaker 2: Hello.

1270
01:11:19,560 --> 01:11:25,080
Speaker 4: Hello, Hi, what's your name? Joe? Joe? How's it going, Joe?

1271
01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:27,920
Speaker 4: What's uh? What's the new in your life? Well?

1272
01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:29,240
Speaker 1: Have we talked before?

1273
01:11:30,479 --> 01:11:31,200
Speaker 4: No, I've been.

1274
01:11:31,080 --> 01:11:34,240
Speaker 5: Listening to you through COVID, so uh yeah, I'm really excited.

1275
01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:39,000
Speaker 1: Oh kick ass. It's always so cool to me.

1276
01:11:39,080 --> 01:11:42,160
Speaker 4: I feel like I lose track a lot of the

1277
01:11:42,200 --> 01:11:46,320
Speaker 4: times of like how cool this is that? Uh, this

1278
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:50,559
Speaker 4: has been going for almost five years now, and people

1279
01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:54,439
Speaker 4: have been listening since COVID, which has been five years now,

1280
01:11:54,520 --> 01:11:57,880
Speaker 4: so I'm.

1281
01:11:56,479 --> 01:11:58,719
Speaker 1: I'm I'm happy. I'm happy you're still here.

1282
01:11:58,840 --> 01:12:04,040
Speaker 4: I'm happy that today, March twenty second, twenty twenty five,

1283
01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:06,559
Speaker 4: you're here and we're talking. I think it's cool. So

1284
01:12:07,920 --> 01:12:09,800
Speaker 4: what's up, dude? How can I get you today? What's

1285
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:10,639
Speaker 4: going on in your life?

1286
01:12:10,760 --> 01:12:11,040
Speaker 1: Joe?

1287
01:12:12,160 --> 01:12:16,320
Speaker 5: Oh Man? Oh? So, I have two things I could

1288
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,400
Speaker 5: talk about. I can either talk about oh three, I

1289
01:12:18,400 --> 01:12:22,960
Speaker 5: guess work, personal, or my dogs.

1290
01:12:23,640 --> 01:12:26,439
Speaker 4: Which one do you feel the most compelled to talk

1291
01:12:26,439 --> 01:12:27,200
Speaker 4: about right now?

1292
01:12:29,200 --> 01:12:30,719
Speaker 5: Let's do? Let's do work?

1293
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:32,719
Speaker 1: Sure, what's going on with work?

1294
01:12:33,680 --> 01:12:34,160
Speaker 5: Oh Man?

1295
01:12:34,240 --> 01:12:34,320
Speaker 3: So?

1296
01:12:34,439 --> 01:12:39,880
Speaker 5: I have been with this large company for about I'm

1297
01:12:39,880 --> 01:12:42,240
Speaker 5: gonna say about a decade now. So first job right

1298
01:12:42,240 --> 01:12:46,559
Speaker 5: out of high school, super Fun, started off out west,

1299
01:12:47,439 --> 01:12:50,240
Speaker 5: got the opportunity to run a store, meet to people,

1300
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:54,400
Speaker 5: and then got transitioned to kind of like the bigger picture.

1301
01:12:54,479 --> 01:12:57,600
Speaker 5: So I audited, I trained, and now I get to

1302
01:12:57,680 --> 01:13:00,680
Speaker 5: work out of like the headquarters, so I get to

1303
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:03,280
Speaker 5: see the people that make all the impacts. And being

1304
01:13:03,320 --> 01:13:07,759
Speaker 5: from just working in the store to now making changes

1305
01:13:07,840 --> 01:13:11,120
Speaker 5: and being able to help people has been wild, man.

1306
01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:13,960
Speaker 5: And just being a dumb little seventeen year old that

1307
01:13:14,080 --> 01:13:16,240
Speaker 5: was like a pot smoker, didn't think I was going

1308
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:19,000
Speaker 5: to do anything. This was my kind of just bullshit

1309
01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:21,559
Speaker 5: job while he went through high school and college and

1310
01:13:21,600 --> 01:13:25,280
Speaker 5: now like it's real, it's my career, and it just

1311
01:13:26,520 --> 01:13:29,880
Speaker 5: blows my mind sometimes how even though it's something small,

1312
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:31,880
Speaker 5: you could just like make it huge. And it's just

1313
01:13:32,320 --> 01:13:34,920
Speaker 5: the person that makes the difference, I guess. And all

1314
01:13:34,920 --> 01:13:36,920
Speaker 5: the people I've got to meet, Oh my god, I've

1315
01:13:36,920 --> 01:13:41,639
Speaker 5: gotten to be in and see like thirty states out

1316
01:13:41,640 --> 01:13:45,720
Speaker 5: of the fifty, including like Alaska, Hawaii, Maine, all the

1317
01:13:45,720 --> 01:13:49,519
Speaker 5: different places, and just seeing the people and showing them

1318
01:13:49,560 --> 01:13:52,880
Speaker 5: that it doesn't just stop at the lower level, but

1319
01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:55,080
Speaker 5: you can do so much. It's just crazy.

1320
01:13:55,160 --> 01:13:55,400
Speaker 2: Man.

1321
01:13:56,360 --> 01:13:59,479
Speaker 4: That's awesome. That's that's fucking great. What can I ask

1322
01:13:59,520 --> 01:14:01,800
Speaker 4: what this company?

1323
01:14:01,880 --> 01:14:04,360
Speaker 5: You can, but I can't tell you just in case.

1324
01:14:04,960 --> 01:14:07,360
Speaker 5: But it's a it's a really well known brand. They're

1325
01:14:07,479 --> 01:14:08,519
Speaker 5: huge all over the world.

1326
01:14:09,160 --> 01:14:13,040
Speaker 4: Cool. Cool and Okay, so you've been with them for

1327
01:14:13,080 --> 01:14:14,920
Speaker 4: a day. When did you start? You started with them

1328
01:14:14,920 --> 01:14:16,280
Speaker 4: when you were seventeen.

1329
01:14:16,640 --> 01:14:17,679
Speaker 5: Yeah, twenty fifteen.

1330
01:14:18,160 --> 01:14:22,559
Speaker 4: Wow, that's awesome. That's great.

1331
01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:23,280
Speaker 1: Interesting.

1332
01:14:23,320 --> 01:14:27,840
Speaker 4: Okay, So no, you're just reporting no problems, no, nothing bad,

1333
01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:31,200
Speaker 4: You're just reporting something good. I like that. That's good.

1334
01:14:31,240 --> 01:14:34,599
Speaker 4: What's going on with h okay? Do you tell if

1335
01:14:34,640 --> 01:14:36,600
Speaker 4: you have more good things to report? I'm down to

1336
01:14:36,640 --> 01:14:38,280
Speaker 4: hear it. What's what's going on? Uh?

1337
01:14:38,320 --> 01:14:38,799
Speaker 1: Personal?

1338
01:14:39,880 --> 01:14:40,360
Speaker 2: No? Oh?

1339
01:14:40,439 --> 01:14:44,080
Speaker 5: Personal wise? Yeah, let's see, this is my first time

1340
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:48,640
Speaker 5: being single for like two years. It's been awesome to

1341
01:14:48,840 --> 01:14:51,799
Speaker 5: not just like develop my career, but like, man, everything's

1342
01:14:51,840 --> 01:14:55,400
Speaker 5: finally going good, like for a year. Let's get you there,

1343
01:14:55,439 --> 01:14:58,599
Speaker 5: but everything's good, man. And I was able to listen

1344
01:14:58,600 --> 01:15:00,519
Speaker 5: to your stream the other day and really just kind

1345
01:15:00,520 --> 01:15:05,680
Speaker 5: of like connect and when you were talking about how

1346
01:15:05,680 --> 01:15:07,720
Speaker 5: you called your stepmom and you were just trying to

1347
01:15:07,760 --> 01:15:10,559
Speaker 5: reach out but you can't vocalize those words. Man. I

1348
01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:14,200
Speaker 5: have been there an anti depressant's work, and it's just

1349
01:15:14,240 --> 01:15:16,040
Speaker 5: being able to get off of them and now like

1350
01:15:16,080 --> 01:15:19,160
Speaker 5: see the other side and it's okay, man.

1351
01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:21,120
Speaker 3: It's gonna be good, you know.

1352
01:15:22,200 --> 01:15:25,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I guess to expand on that, yeah, I

1353
01:15:27,680 --> 01:15:30,400
Speaker 4: you know, I don't shut up about it on the podcast,

1354
01:15:30,439 --> 01:15:34,240
Speaker 4: but like, yeah, this kind of like existential whatever that

1355
01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:35,240
Speaker 4: I was going through.

1356
01:15:36,640 --> 01:15:37,280
Speaker 1: You know, it's hard.

1357
01:15:37,320 --> 01:15:39,200
Speaker 4: I know a lot of people struggle with that stuff

1358
01:15:39,200 --> 01:15:43,760
Speaker 4: and it's great to hear. I love hearing. I am

1359
01:15:43,800 --> 01:15:48,840
Speaker 4: always searching for stories of hope, whether it's on reddits

1360
01:15:49,000 --> 01:15:53,120
Speaker 4: or just whatever, and so it's cool to hear one

1361
01:15:53,720 --> 01:15:55,720
Speaker 4: from you. So you felt like you were in a

1362
01:15:55,720 --> 01:15:59,880
Speaker 4: bit of a tumultuous time for like a year.

1363
01:16:00,120 --> 01:16:02,040
Speaker 1: What was tumultuous about it?

1364
01:16:03,760 --> 01:16:03,840
Speaker 3: So?

1365
01:16:03,920 --> 01:16:05,800
Speaker 5: I had been with somebody, I had known them for

1366
01:16:05,840 --> 01:16:08,840
Speaker 5: about ten years. We finally started dating. It was just

1367
01:16:08,920 --> 01:16:12,880
Speaker 5: the worst toxic relationship. We moved across the country, did

1368
01:16:13,040 --> 01:16:16,320
Speaker 5: all this crazy stuff together, and we finally broke up

1369
01:16:16,400 --> 01:16:18,760
Speaker 5: and I was able to just take a step back.

1370
01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:21,320
Speaker 5: And obviously I was mad for a long time, but

1371
01:16:21,479 --> 01:16:24,720
Speaker 5: just trying to see how I affected everything and how

1372
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:26,360
Speaker 5: at the end of the day, it's like me putting

1373
01:16:26,360 --> 01:16:30,240
Speaker 5: myself into shit. So trying to break that and having

1374
01:16:30,280 --> 01:16:32,439
Speaker 5: just that year of being alone with my dogs has

1375
01:16:32,479 --> 01:16:34,439
Speaker 5: been kind of life changing.

1376
01:16:34,479 --> 01:16:36,880
Speaker 3: It's been nice. It's quiet.

1377
01:16:38,080 --> 01:16:41,760
Speaker 4: Do you do you seek to eventually be in a

1378
01:16:41,800 --> 01:16:42,599
Speaker 4: relationship again.

1379
01:16:44,000 --> 01:16:46,400
Speaker 5: If it happens, it happens, If not, you know, I am.

1380
01:16:46,760 --> 01:16:48,920
Speaker 5: I think I'm finally okay being alone and it's a

1381
01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:53,280
Speaker 5: it's different, it's cool, but uh yeah, yeah, I think

1382
01:16:53,280 --> 01:16:55,320
Speaker 5: as long as I have my dogs and I can volunteer,

1383
01:16:55,479 --> 01:16:57,960
Speaker 5: you know, everything's E think's pretty good over here?

1384
01:16:58,400 --> 01:16:58,760
Speaker 4: What do you?

1385
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:00,200
Speaker 2: Well?

1386
01:17:00,240 --> 01:17:01,280
Speaker 1: I guess a couple questions.

1387
01:17:01,320 --> 01:17:06,479
Speaker 4: What is it that made you finally okay with being alone?

1388
01:17:07,040 --> 01:17:11,120
Speaker 5: Just stopping and acknowledging that, yes, other people are factors,

1389
01:17:11,160 --> 01:17:14,880
Speaker 5: but it's me. If you're not okay with being by yourself, well,

1390
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:18,160
Speaker 5: how are you going to be good helping and lifting

1391
01:17:18,200 --> 01:17:21,520
Speaker 5: somebody else up in a relationship, whether it's work, individual

1392
01:17:21,680 --> 01:17:24,680
Speaker 5: or even in like an actual partnership relationship?

1393
01:17:25,120 --> 01:17:26,639
Speaker 1: Sure? Sure?

1394
01:17:27,360 --> 01:17:30,639
Speaker 4: What what do you What do you do to volunteer?

1395
01:17:31,960 --> 01:17:32,120
Speaker 2: Oh?

1396
01:17:32,120 --> 01:17:33,479
Speaker 5: I volunteered in an animal shelter?

1397
01:17:34,080 --> 01:17:34,360
Speaker 4: Great?

1398
01:17:35,240 --> 01:17:37,800
Speaker 1: Great? What's what's up with? What's up with the dogs?

1399
01:17:38,920 --> 01:17:41,840
Speaker 5: One of them, my youngest one, she just got in like,

1400
01:17:42,280 --> 01:17:46,320
Speaker 5: uh mid January, got diagnosed with epilepsy. She's three, so

1401
01:17:46,800 --> 01:17:49,679
Speaker 5: kind of shitty, but we got it managed. She's doing

1402
01:17:49,720 --> 01:17:51,200
Speaker 5: good and she's happier than ever.

1403
01:17:51,280 --> 01:17:56,599
Speaker 4: Man, that's awesome. That's wonderful. Yeah, yeah, great, So you're

1404
01:17:56,600 --> 01:18:01,080
Speaker 4: doing good. So so it's interesting. And you know, I

1405
01:18:01,400 --> 01:18:05,080
Speaker 4: think I was wighing back and forth about talking about

1406
01:18:05,080 --> 01:18:07,479
Speaker 4: this stuff because it gets to feel it feels like

1407
01:18:07,520 --> 01:18:13,800
Speaker 4: a loop sometimes, But I'm I'm interested in it. So

1408
01:18:13,880 --> 01:18:20,840
Speaker 4: you were doing antidepressants for a while. How long were

1409
01:18:20,880 --> 01:18:22,400
Speaker 4: you doing Oh?

1410
01:18:22,439 --> 01:18:24,320
Speaker 5: I did him for about three years?

1411
01:18:24,320 --> 01:18:25,840
Speaker 1: Interesting and what would.

1412
01:18:27,400 --> 01:18:32,160
Speaker 4: So I'm curious about your perspective because so I'm trying

1413
01:18:32,200 --> 01:18:36,439
Speaker 4: antidepressants now and I have the I talk about it

1414
01:18:36,479 --> 01:18:41,960
Speaker 4: on the fucking show all the time. Is like this

1415
01:18:42,479 --> 01:18:48,160
Speaker 4: thing of like, Okay, how much of my dissatisfaction of

1416
01:18:48,600 --> 01:18:53,160
Speaker 4: life or whatever is like a chemical thing versus like

1417
01:18:53,960 --> 01:18:57,600
Speaker 4: external the events of your life, like what's going on

1418
01:18:57,720 --> 01:19:00,479
Speaker 4: in your brain versus what's going on in your fucking life.

1419
01:19:01,040 --> 01:19:04,639
Speaker 4: And I have this hesitancy of like, well, no, it's

1420
01:19:04,680 --> 01:19:08,439
Speaker 4: about what's going on in life less than about the antidepressants.

1421
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:12,000
Speaker 4: But then but then you know, things happen in life

1422
01:19:12,040 --> 01:19:15,760
Speaker 4: and you're like, well, why am I not here with this?

1423
01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:17,800
Speaker 4: And then I'm like, well, maybe it is chemicals in

1424
01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:19,360
Speaker 4: your brain. And then you go on the internet and

1425
01:19:19,360 --> 01:19:23,000
Speaker 4: they're like, oh, there's neuro transmitters that get fucked up

1426
01:19:23,240 --> 01:19:26,840
Speaker 4: and whatnot. So anyway, I'm just ranting, But what were

1427
01:19:26,840 --> 01:19:28,080
Speaker 4: those three years like for you?

1428
01:19:29,439 --> 01:19:29,599
Speaker 5: Uh?

1429
01:19:29,680 --> 01:19:29,960
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1430
01:19:30,000 --> 01:19:32,320
Speaker 5: So before I got on them, it was very much

1431
01:19:32,479 --> 01:19:35,040
Speaker 5: like a hole that you fall into that you can't

1432
01:19:35,080 --> 01:19:37,720
Speaker 5: really dig yourself out of. And my big thing was

1433
01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:41,599
Speaker 5: just overthinking negative thoughts. Yeah, on the antidepressants, it's kind

1434
01:19:41,600 --> 01:19:44,080
Speaker 5: of like it's just like they filled in those bumps

1435
01:19:44,080 --> 01:19:47,080
Speaker 5: in the road. So that was really nice. But then

1436
01:19:47,280 --> 01:19:49,720
Speaker 5: I got very scared of the Oh my god, am

1437
01:19:49,760 --> 01:19:51,000
Speaker 5: I going to have to be on this for the

1438
01:19:51,040 --> 01:19:52,559
Speaker 5: rest of my life just to be a person?

1439
01:19:53,040 --> 01:19:53,360
Speaker 1: Right?

1440
01:19:53,479 --> 01:19:57,960
Speaker 5: So I integrated that with kind of not only talk therapy,

1441
01:19:58,479 --> 01:20:02,160
Speaker 5: but I also for about a year after going to

1442
01:20:02,240 --> 01:20:06,440
Speaker 5: therapy and doctors, did ketamine therapy. So that was honestly

1443
01:20:07,040 --> 01:20:10,080
Speaker 5: like it was in a very like pharmaceutical environment. It

1444
01:20:10,120 --> 01:20:14,000
Speaker 5: was very like done with doctors, but just that kind

1445
01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:17,040
Speaker 5: of experience was very mind changing. And again I didn't

1446
01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:18,360
Speaker 5: have to do that long term. I did that for

1447
01:20:18,400 --> 01:20:21,720
Speaker 5: about six months to a year, but just seeing the

1448
01:20:21,760 --> 01:20:24,240
Speaker 5: different points of view, I thought I was the biggest

1449
01:20:24,280 --> 01:20:26,639
Speaker 5: thing and all of my problems were insane and huge,

1450
01:20:27,000 --> 01:20:29,479
Speaker 5: But it means nothing as long as you kind of

1451
01:20:29,520 --> 01:20:32,040
Speaker 5: like take a step back and realize everybody's going through shit.

1452
01:20:32,600 --> 01:20:35,640
Speaker 5: I think that's what really changed it for me. So

1453
01:20:35,680 --> 01:20:37,320
Speaker 5: I don't know if that helps at all, but yeah, man,

1454
01:20:37,400 --> 01:20:39,559
Speaker 5: kettymin is crazy and amazing when done.

1455
01:20:40,680 --> 01:20:43,280
Speaker 4: Okay, So yeah, I was, Yeah, I have a couple

1456
01:20:43,320 --> 01:20:45,960
Speaker 4: of friends who've done ketemine therapy. There's this fucking uh

1457
01:20:47,040 --> 01:20:49,400
Speaker 4: a comedian that I was listening to on a podcast.

1458
01:20:49,439 --> 01:20:52,040
Speaker 4: I was talking about ketemine therapy and I was kind

1459
01:20:52,040 --> 01:20:53,880
Speaker 4: of interested in it because I had a little period

1460
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:55,800
Speaker 4: of time where I was like, oh no, I don't

1461
01:20:55,840 --> 01:20:58,240
Speaker 4: know how to get out of this. And I was like, Okay,

1462
01:20:58,240 --> 01:20:59,680
Speaker 4: maybe ketamine therapy.

1463
01:21:01,560 --> 01:21:02,280
Speaker 1: Is the answer.

1464
01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:05,320
Speaker 4: And then you know, I have crazy ADHD, So I'm like,

1465
01:21:05,320 --> 01:21:06,719
Speaker 4: maybe this is the answer. Maybe this is the answer.

1466
01:21:06,720 --> 01:21:08,360
Speaker 4: Maybe this is the answer. Maybe this is the answer.

1467
01:21:08,560 --> 01:21:11,439
Speaker 4: So what was ketamine like for you?

1468
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:17,599
Speaker 5: So my big kind of like thing that I worked

1469
01:21:17,640 --> 01:21:21,120
Speaker 5: on was I identified myself a lot with my career,

1470
01:21:21,760 --> 01:21:24,679
Speaker 5: so just identifying not only what the issue is about how.

1471
01:21:24,560 --> 01:21:25,200
Speaker 3: To work through that.

1472
01:21:25,400 --> 01:21:27,680
Speaker 5: So, yeah, my career is great, but what can I

1473
01:21:27,680 --> 01:21:29,760
Speaker 5: do outside of it to be a fucking person and

1474
01:21:29,840 --> 01:21:33,759
Speaker 5: to care about myself and just make sure I'm okay. Yeah,

1475
01:21:33,800 --> 01:21:37,400
Speaker 5: So that was huge And just like my personal problems,

1476
01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:40,600
Speaker 5: Yes they're impact my mood, Yes they impact me and

1477
01:21:40,640 --> 01:21:42,479
Speaker 5: they make me feel shitty, but how is that affecting

1478
01:21:42,479 --> 01:21:45,960
Speaker 5: the people around me? And how I'm like selling myself,

1479
01:21:46,000 --> 01:21:49,559
Speaker 5: I guess, or portraying myself and it's just you don't

1480
01:21:49,560 --> 01:21:50,960
Speaker 5: have to be just strong for yourself, you have to

1481
01:21:50,960 --> 01:21:51,800
Speaker 5: be strong for people around you.

1482
01:21:51,840 --> 01:21:56,880
Speaker 1: And it's just yeah that yeah, yeah that makes sense.

1483
01:21:56,960 --> 01:21:59,439
Speaker 4: It's weird. Yeah, it is true. Like when you're fucking

1484
01:22:01,840 --> 01:22:07,080
Speaker 4: when you're fucking depressed, you have it's hard to you

1485
01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:10,679
Speaker 4: can't you know, you can't help anyone. You can't fucking

1486
01:22:11,720 --> 01:22:12,559
Speaker 4: be anything or.

1487
01:22:12,479 --> 01:22:15,719
Speaker 5: Do anything, and then that leads you to lose people,

1488
01:22:15,760 --> 01:22:18,040
Speaker 5: and then fuck, you're even more depressed.

1489
01:22:17,560 --> 01:22:20,519
Speaker 4: And it's just a yeah, and it's hard because you

1490
01:22:20,560 --> 01:22:23,479
Speaker 4: have to kind of go on the journey alone a little.

1491
01:22:23,280 --> 01:22:27,520
Speaker 5: Bit, you know, yeah, which is shitty and different, but yeah,

1492
01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:30,280
Speaker 5: it's it's been good. I live like a thousand miles

1493
01:22:30,280 --> 01:22:32,920
Speaker 5: away from my closest family, and if I had not

1494
01:22:33,040 --> 01:22:35,720
Speaker 5: gone through all the shit that I went through, I

1495
01:22:35,760 --> 01:22:38,439
Speaker 5: probably would not be here. So yeah, man, Kenny and

1496
01:22:38,479 --> 01:22:39,680
Speaker 5: Kenny's crazy.

1497
01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:41,639
Speaker 4: All right, Cool, Maybe I'll give it a shot. Maybe

1498
01:22:41,640 --> 01:22:44,639
Speaker 4: I'll give it a shot. What's your name again, Joe?

1499
01:22:45,120 --> 01:22:45,360
Speaker 1: Joe?

1500
01:22:45,479 --> 01:22:48,759
Speaker 4: Well, thanks thanks for sharing all this stuff, Joe. I'm

1501
01:22:48,800 --> 01:22:52,519
Speaker 4: happy to hear that you're doing better. You know a

1502
01:22:52,560 --> 01:22:57,040
Speaker 4: lot of Yeah, we live in a crazy world. We

1503
01:22:57,080 --> 01:23:02,920
Speaker 4: live in a crazy, crazy, crazy world. So thanks, thanks

1504
01:23:02,960 --> 01:23:06,440
Speaker 4: for thanks for sharing a little story of hope.

1505
01:23:07,120 --> 01:23:10,920
Speaker 1: It's it's you know, it's good. It's good.

1506
01:23:11,960 --> 01:23:13,240
Speaker 4: Is Is there anything else, Joe that you want to

1507
01:23:13,240 --> 01:23:17,040
Speaker 4: say to the people of the computer before we go, Uh.

1508
01:23:16,760 --> 01:23:19,000
Speaker 5: Nope, get bless you and just thank you for all

1509
01:23:19,040 --> 01:23:20,920
Speaker 5: you do A while true, I am, I.

1510
01:23:20,840 --> 01:23:23,920
Speaker 1: Am trying my best. Thank you, Thank you for listening.

1511
01:23:24,000 --> 01:23:24,200
Speaker 3: Dude.

1512
01:23:24,280 --> 01:23:26,400
Speaker 1: I'll I'll see you around the universe.

1513
01:23:26,479 --> 01:23:29,919
Speaker 2: Joe.

1514
01:23:27,240 --> 01:23:34,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was cool. It's interesting. I feel what I'm

1515
01:23:34,040 --> 01:23:36,880
Speaker 4: just gonna talk to open leagues is how I I

1516
01:23:36,920 --> 01:23:42,560
Speaker 4: think it's just my fucking whatever is like, this is

1517
01:23:42,640 --> 01:23:49,280
Speaker 4: a weird thing about you know, the self, the existentially

1518
01:23:50,080 --> 01:23:55,200
Speaker 4: putting your brain out on the table universe is weird

1519
01:23:55,240 --> 01:23:57,120
Speaker 4: because I think my gut tells me this is like

1520
01:23:57,160 --> 01:24:04,599
Speaker 4: a weird uh loop of talking about your problems or whatever.

1521
01:24:04,600 --> 01:24:07,320
Speaker 4: They become stories. They're become ingrained in who you are

1522
01:24:08,200 --> 01:24:12,360
Speaker 4: and I'm trying not to do that. But this is like,

1523
01:24:12,800 --> 01:24:16,439
Speaker 4: this is a positive story. This is like so it

1524
01:24:16,520 --> 01:24:20,439
Speaker 4: actually is in a way breaking the loop to get

1525
01:24:20,439 --> 01:24:23,320
Speaker 4: to talk to this person who is like, you know,

1526
01:24:26,400 --> 01:24:31,439
Speaker 4: sometimes optimism is like all you have, like and it's

1527
01:24:31,600 --> 01:24:38,280
Speaker 4: weirdly the I think for me at least, is the

1528
01:24:39,240 --> 01:24:42,040
Speaker 4: when you're drowning. It's like the thing you can hold

1529
01:24:42,080 --> 01:24:46,320
Speaker 4: on to. And so when you hear a story of

1530
01:24:46,360 --> 01:24:49,880
Speaker 4: a person who's like, yeah, I was on antidepressants and

1531
01:24:49,960 --> 01:24:53,240
Speaker 4: I was drowning for a while, and now I can

1532
01:24:53,280 --> 01:24:57,559
Speaker 4: happily report that I'm doing okay, you're like, okay, great,

1533
01:24:57,560 --> 01:24:59,280
Speaker 4: maybe there's hope for me, and you hold on to

1534
01:24:59,360 --> 01:25:02,559
Speaker 4: the optimism and you don't know how long it'll take,

1535
01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:06,000
Speaker 4: but you're like, all right, I can. As long as

1536
01:25:06,040 --> 01:25:10,840
Speaker 4: I maintain this optimism. There is some form of hope.

1537
01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:15,240
Speaker 4: So shout out to that lady for giving some form

1538
01:25:15,280 --> 01:25:17,360
Speaker 4: of hope.

1539
01:25:17,840 --> 01:25:21,000
Speaker 2: Goes on the line, taking your phone calls every night.

1540
01:25:21,400 --> 01:25:24,160
Speaker 3: Deacon goes doing his eye's.

1541
01:25:23,640 --> 01:25:25,639
Speaker 4: Teaching you a loud in them of your life.

1542
01:25:25,920 --> 01:25:28,120
Speaker 2: But he's not really an expert.