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Speaker 1: Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have

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Speaker 1: put together some of my favorite radio moments here to

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Speaker 1: share with you on our daily podcast. Through every night

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Speaker 1: on my radio show, we have Delilah's dilemmas. We love

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Speaker 1: them all. When you call or you write with a

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Speaker 1: situation that you're in and you just need a little

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Speaker 1: advice and direction, we love them all, and today we

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Speaker 1: wanted to share some of them with you on Hey

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Speaker 1: It's Delilah. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma. Says Hello, Delilah. I was

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Speaker 1: hoping to get advice from you. Lately, I've lost my

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Speaker 1: motivation to keep my relationship going. I've been with my

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Speaker 1: hard working man for thirteen years. We have two kids,

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Speaker 1: home with some land, and we just got married six

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Speaker 1: months ago. We probably look pretty happy, but the weight

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Speaker 1: of carrying the relationship is feeling very heavy. My husband

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Speaker 1: makes the money and occasionally we'll do some maintenance type chores,

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Speaker 1: but for all other aspects of life, our home, our kids,

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Speaker 1: our schedules, shopping, cooking activities, et cetera. Everything falls to me.

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Speaker 1: It's an age old dilemma, I know, and I wish

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Speaker 1: I'd recognized it. Sooner, But now that we're here, is

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Speaker 1: there any escape? I just don't know what to do?

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Speaker 1: Please give me some words of advice. From overwhelmed Overwhelmed,

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Speaker 1: I will have my Mama Delilah words of advice coming

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Speaker 1: up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from overwhelmed. A mom,

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Speaker 1: a stay at home mom that is feeling very lonely

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Speaker 1: in her relationship of thirteen years and asking if if

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Speaker 1: I have any words of advice because she feels like

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Speaker 1: giving up, she says, She asks, is there any escape? Honey?

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Speaker 1: You don't need an escape. You need a date with

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Speaker 1: your husband. I guess you could call that an escape.

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Speaker 1: You need to talk to your folks or his folks,

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Speaker 1: or your sister or whoever, and have somebody step in

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Speaker 1: and take care of the house and the dogs and

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Speaker 1: the cats and the kids for a weekend or even

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Speaker 1: just one night that you can get away and connect

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Speaker 1: heart to heart. He's so busy working, he comes home

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Speaker 1: tired and probably plops down and doesn't engage much. And

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Speaker 1: you're so busy running the house, taking care of the kids,

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Speaker 1: taking care of the land, taking care of blah blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah, that you haven't made time to take

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Speaker 1: care of the relationship. It is an age old dilemma.

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Speaker 1: And there are so many, so many men and women

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Speaker 1: who have called me or written me over the years

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Speaker 1: who are overwhelmed, and you need time to rekindle, to

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Speaker 1: stoke the fires of your marriage, of your relationship. You

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Speaker 1: also need to reframe things. You have the opportunities that

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Speaker 1: most people don't have, and when you look at it

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Speaker 1: that way and you find the gratitude for that, it

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Speaker 1: changes everything. So make a date. See if you can

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Speaker 1: spend some time reconnecting heart to heart and recognize how

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Speaker 1: blessed you are, and then pay somebody to come twice

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Speaker 1: a month and clean your house. That'll make a huge

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Speaker 1: difference if you got somebody else grubbing toilets and Florida

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Speaker 1: as I kids do. Not. Before I share Tonight's Delilah's dilemma,

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Speaker 1: please understand, I am not a doctor. I am not

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Speaker 1: a therapist. I'm not a counselor. I'm a mama, a

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Speaker 1: mama bear. I've been around the block three times, maybe four.

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Speaker 1: But any insight I share is not clinical and it

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Speaker 1: is I'm not a licensed professional. Okay, I just want

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Speaker 1: to say that before I read this letter. Tonight's letter

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Speaker 1: is from Eleana, who says, I love your show. It's

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Speaker 1: given me a lot of advice through my life. I'm

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Speaker 1: twenty two and struggling with anxiety and depression. I had

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Speaker 1: my son, who means the world to me when I

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Speaker 1: was eighteen, then lost my baby daughter in twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: when I was nineteen. Now I cannot have any more children.

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Speaker 1: I love my family, but sometimes I feel lost and

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Speaker 1: I can't find my way through the pain and sadness.

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Speaker 1: I've seen doctors and therapists, but that very dark cloud

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Speaker 1: is always hanging overhead. Do you have any advice from Elianna?

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Speaker 1: I do, and I will share it with you next.

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Speaker 1: Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a twenty two year old

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Speaker 1: who says she is struggling with anxiety and depression. Eliana,

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Speaker 1: you are struggling, honey, with grief, overwhelming grief. You have

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Speaker 1: lost a child, a baby, and you say you cannot

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Speaker 1: have any more children naturally. So that's another huge loss

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Speaker 1: for somebody so very young. This is overwhelming heartbreak, making grief,

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Speaker 1: and our society doesn't usually allow people to grieve, especially

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Speaker 1: young people, especially young people your age who have suffered

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Speaker 1: the loss of a child. People will say the dumbest things,

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Speaker 1: and that only compounds and complicates the grief. You don't

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Speaker 1: want to hear that the baby you lost is a

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Speaker 1: little angel watching over you in heaven. You don't want

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Speaker 1: to hear oh you're young, blah blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 1: You want to hear your baby's laughter, and you can't

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Speaker 1: because they're in heaven. At least in my belief system,

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Speaker 1: my children are in heaven. So what you are trying

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Speaker 1: to stand up under is grief that is so heavy.

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Speaker 1: It's weighing you down in an enormous way. So understand

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Speaker 1: that and give yourself permission to grieve and cry your tears.

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Speaker 1: But you also need to acknowledge the loss, not just

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Speaker 1: the loss of your baby, but the loss of your

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Speaker 1: ability to carry more children, because that is a huge loss.

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Speaker 1: So if I were you, I would go online and

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Speaker 1: I would find support groups. Compassionate friends comes to mind. First,

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Speaker 1: talk to people who can speak love and encouragement and

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Speaker 1: kindness into your young heart. Okay, Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is

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Speaker 1: from someone named Dee. She says hi to Delilah, after

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Speaker 1: thirty two years of marriage, I'm trying to find a

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Speaker 1: way to detach from my husband with love. At some

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Speaker 1: point I realized that all the heartache and arguments over

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Speaker 1: his behavior are just a waste of my time and energy.

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Speaker 1: He is not going to change. I don't mean to

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Speaker 1: suggest that his disrespect is okay, but at this point

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Speaker 1: in our lives, we are older, we have health issues,

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to spend the rest of my

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Speaker 1: days waiting or pleading for him to change. Leaving will

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Speaker 1: simply create a whole new set of problems I'm illiquipped

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Speaker 1: to deal with. While I can say and write this

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Speaker 1: with conviction, anxiety is eating me alive. Would love your

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Speaker 1: take on things from d D. I will share my

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Speaker 1: words of wisdom coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is

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Speaker 1: from somebody named d who's been with her husband over

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Speaker 1: thirty two years, married thirty two years, and he is

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Speaker 1: doing something She doesn't say what that has destruck I'm

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Speaker 1: going to take a stab in the dark and say

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Speaker 1: he's an alcoholic or a drug addict or both. Or

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Speaker 1: maybe it's a workaholic or a porn addict. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but the fact that he is disrespectful to you tells

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Speaker 1: me he has addictive behaviors that he is not willing

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Speaker 1: to face or change. And at this point in your life,

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Speaker 1: leaving would create a whole new set of problems, especially

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Speaker 1: if you are not financially independent. So what can you do?

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Speaker 1: You can go to a support group that will teach

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Speaker 1: you how to detach with love. There are support groups

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Speaker 1: that that is one of the key elements they share

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Speaker 1: is how to detach with love. If the addiction is alcoholism,

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Speaker 1: the support group is called Alanon. They will help you

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Speaker 1: to process all this anger, all this rage, all this

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Speaker 1: feeling of hurt, loneliness, and how to detach with love

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Speaker 1: so that you can still have a great life, a

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Speaker 1: good life, a fulfilling life, a life with friends and family,

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Speaker 1: and not buy in to the other person's addiction. There

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Speaker 1: are support groups for every addictive behavior under the sun,

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Speaker 1: and now there's a lot of them online or call

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Speaker 1: in meetings. So if you can't drive yourself or get

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Speaker 1: to a meeting, you can find a meeting online. I

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Speaker 1: know it's possible. So find a support group, d and

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Speaker 1: find a way to live a very loving, full exciting

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Speaker 1: life without the other person having to change because, like

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Speaker 1: you said, they're probably not going to. I so hope

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Speaker 1: you have enjoyed these radio moments as much as I

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Speaker 1: enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share more with you

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Speaker 1: each weekday on Hey It's Delilah. Do you Wan