Speaker 1: If you really value what your children learn, you will
Speaker 1: continue teaching them after school.
Speaker 2: That's a whole fact because when you look at the
Speaker 2: curriculum nowadays, now that you're awake, your eyes are open
Speaker 2: to certain things. You're just like, damn, how long are
Speaker 2: you going to continue these lives?
Speaker 3: Dead Ass just saying wow.
Speaker 1: It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight
Speaker 1: from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become
Speaker 1: Webby Award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors.
Speaker 2: Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It
Speaker 2: was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable, be.
Speaker 4: Wraw or but most apportly be us.
Speaker 2: But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we.
Speaker 2: And through it all, one thing has never changed.
Speaker 4: This is.
Speaker 5: Because we got a lot to talk about.
Speaker 1: Story time. I'm going to take y'all back to October
Speaker 1: two thousand and nine. We didn't even have any children yet. Oh,
Speaker 1: we only had god children. And one of our godsons
Speaker 1: was doing a story on Christopher Columbus and we were there,
Speaker 1: you remember this, and he was like, Uncle Devo, do
Speaker 1: you know about Christopher Columbus? Because he was learning in school.
Speaker 1: It was elementary school. I said, yes, do you know
Speaker 1: about Christopher Columbus? He said yes, and he told me
Speaker 1: the story about the Pilgrims and how they shared food
Speaker 1: the Indians and.
Speaker 3: The Indians and all of these things.
Speaker 1: And I said, you know what, Nick, you know what
Speaker 1: else Christopher Columbus did to the Indians. He was like
Speaker 1: what I said, he marked them? And you remember, Christina
Speaker 1: was like Devo and I was just like, what he
Speaker 1: merked them?
Speaker 3: He Christopher Columbus was not a nice guy that came.
Speaker 1: Over here to share food in that that knowledge and
Speaker 1: knowledge with the natives here in religion.
Speaker 3: That's not what he came to do. And he was
Speaker 3: like he was like for real.
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, let's sit down and talk
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, karaoke time. Yes, yes, this song came
Speaker 2: to mind when I thought about like the kids and
Speaker 2: stuff like that. And dev I was like, he's never
Speaker 2: heard this song before. And I don't know if you
Speaker 2: guys have never heard this song before, but it was
Speaker 2: with Tevin Campbell, Quincy Jones. It was like a bunch
Speaker 2: of kids singing. No one has ever seen a video
Speaker 2: called Tomorrow. You know what're talking about? Man, you do Okay,
Speaker 2: so that's crazy. Oh yeah, you are a musician. That
Speaker 2: is true. But it goes like it goes like this
Speaker 2: tomorrow will bring a better you, a better me. I
Speaker 2: know that wall. You know, well, we could be better.
Speaker 2: Get up, get out, get into it. I forget all
Speaker 2: the words to it.
Speaker 5: It was very much like a chorus thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and we have you now with the with
Speaker 1: the we have everything. Make sure you get me me
Speaker 1: with the shower.
Speaker 2: Cap the podcast me not say what's up?
Speaker 3: That's what's up? Come say sorry to the podcast. Family, come.
Speaker 1: Doing stuff like we need I know, so y'all see
Speaker 1: what happens on ellis of a raptor. This is really
Speaker 1: a family environment because maybe gonna come down in the
Speaker 1: middle of the podcast.
Speaker 5: You're really working the chicken salad you want to do
Speaker 5: with the shower ca but that goes to show ma
Speaker 5: me takes care of you.
Speaker 3: We're gonna get my chicken salad. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: But yeah, that was my song. You better get up,
Speaker 2: get out, get into it to be strong.
Speaker 5: If we try, we will.
Speaker 3: They made yes that choir.
Speaker 5: Yes, absolutely, it was a great song.
Speaker 3: It was a great song. Kudos to you.
Speaker 6: It's a nice falsetto sounded just like the song talking
Speaker 6: about it.
Speaker 2: Thank you, man, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 5: I love a false settle. Honey, I don't even know
Speaker 5: what that means.
Speaker 1: But you know, hey, you know false You don't know, Oh,
Speaker 1: I just know the song.
Speaker 5: There's a song called for settle is a false actor.
Speaker 2: That's in the settle, like.
Speaker 5: A false there you so it's a false actor.
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you. I'll be hitting it's a false settles.
Speaker 5: Think about it, all right, y'all, let's take a quick back.
Speaker 5: We'll be back with op or no stick around. All right,
Speaker 5: we're back. Paddles up everyone, what you got for us today?
Speaker 2: Trips?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 7: I keep running across this kind of ridiculous story.
Speaker 3: The algorithm.
Speaker 7: Yeah, the timeline that a professional corn hole player who
Speaker 7: is also a quadruple a quadruple amputee, has been charged
Speaker 7: with murder in a Maryland in Maryland following a fatal
Speaker 7: shooting during an argument inside a vehicles.
Speaker 4: That's what I've said.
Speaker 7: He has no arms, no leg this is real, but
Speaker 7: somehow he also played cornhole.
Speaker 4: So like you can do a corn.
Speaker 3: Hole because all you got to do is put the
Speaker 3: thing together. And throw it.
Speaker 7: Okay, so like doing this, like how did he pull
Speaker 7: the trigger and hit somebody?
Speaker 4: Can't he murdered them?
Speaker 2: What kind of are you? They got into?
Speaker 8: What's your aim? Like, sir?
Speaker 2: The thing is they do say if someone is you know,
Speaker 2: for example, don't have arms or legs, that their other
Speaker 2: senses and like their sense of like I guess precision
Speaker 2: maybe with other things are like heightened sense.
Speaker 3: The sense of precision. I know that.
Speaker 2: But what I was saying is, Okay, yes you have
Speaker 2: heightened things, but I'm saying similarly to having heightened senses.
Speaker 3: Maybe because he didn't have hands and feet, maybe.
Speaker 5: That precision was like that, like it's heightened.
Speaker 4: But how did he pulled the trigger? Kadeen? You think
Speaker 4: he had especially made because I.
Speaker 7: Don't know what the weapon was made Arsenal Yeah, and
Speaker 7: then get this listen how.
Speaker 3: I got no I'm gonna tell you why I got no. Op.
Speaker 3: The world is extremely sensitive, yep.
Speaker 1: And I don't even know if you can say quadruple
Speaker 1: amputee without offending somebody, So I don't want to offend nobody.
Speaker 3: So you know what I'm gonna do. Nohow.
Speaker 7: But he's alleged murderer, so allegedly because you know what, allegedly,
Speaker 7: but there was two other people in the car.
Speaker 8: This is weird, crazy. You couldn't driving.
Speaker 4: He was already was driving. I'm pretty sure he was driving.
Speaker 4: It's it's all wrong.
Speaker 9: You driving, you shoot somebody, and you cannot be two people.
Speaker 4: Two other people were in the car at the time.
Speaker 5: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: Well, this is what happened.
Speaker 3: He was driving.
Speaker 4: He was driving and killing some and killing somebody.
Speaker 7: And then after he killed the dude, he told the
Speaker 7: two other people pulled over and told the two other
Speaker 7: passers to help him get the body out of the car,
Speaker 7: and the other two passengers were like, nah, man, this
Speaker 7: is where we draw the line. And they got out
Speaker 7: and called the police, and he kept driving and then
Speaker 7: dumped the body elsewhere.
Speaker 5: He don't.
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 3: It's got to be a movie.
Speaker 1: It needs it's got to be a movie, because I
Speaker 1: want to know how. I have questions and I don't
Speaker 1: know how to offend people.
Speaker 3: But I got a lot of questions. I don't know
Speaker 3: how to not offend.
Speaker 4: I got a lot of questions, more questions than opinions.
Speaker 3: Opinions. Yeah, I don't have no opinion. I want to
Speaker 3: know things. I got to see the play of how
Speaker 3: I got to see the gun?
Speaker 5: Yeah, or maybe the gun. Maybe there's like a special apparatus,
Speaker 5: can attachment.
Speaker 4: He could have had it.
Speaker 7: He could have had that because disabled people do exist,
Speaker 7: that's what they say.
Speaker 4: You know, things are made for disabled people. So maybe.
Speaker 3: Hit him up, Josh, you going to hell.
Speaker 8: I'm not going to know.
Speaker 3: I really do. Got a lot of questions because I
Speaker 3: know what they was beefing about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, where was the dude in the car for him
Speaker 1: to be driving and be like, you know what, I
Speaker 1: can't take this ship no more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and everybody was so like scared of him that
Speaker 2: there was like, yo, he shot home where I'm not
Speaker 2: going to be accomplics like I'm like.
Speaker 4: Anything. They just got out because.
Speaker 2: They probably was shook.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 7: Maybe it was like that scene on pulp fiction when
Speaker 7: this don't sound John Travalta accidentally shot the dude in
Speaker 7: the backseat.
Speaker 4: He just turned around like this.
Speaker 1: We're going to wake up tomorrow and find out that
Speaker 1: all of this was ai and someone put this on
Speaker 1: threads and now it's a conversation that could I'm telling
Speaker 1: you there's no way a quadruple amputee while driving shot
Speaker 1: somebody and then got rid of the body without being.
Speaker 4: Okay, okay, here's something that we haven't thought of.
Speaker 7: Maybe he's a quadruple amputy, but maybe he wears prosthetics, right,
Speaker 7: that could be.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you can have prosthetics, but you can't there's no
Speaker 6: control over the process.
Speaker 2: They have prosthetics now, Yeah, how.
Speaker 6: They're gonna do that if he has no.
Speaker 1: You can het nubs though, don't because the guy I
Speaker 1: saw with the the corn hole had nubs.
Speaker 3: He didn't have the hand. I know what you're talking.
Speaker 3: We're talking about the hands that work. Yeah, the brain.
Speaker 3: The guy I saw didn't have the hands.
Speaker 8: He for the special Olympics.
Speaker 7: You can't use prosthetics probably, but for life, for life,
Speaker 7: maybe he does.
Speaker 6: I'm just trying to think. If you have how do
Speaker 6: you control the prospect other than just being with the brain.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you have nerves still they have they make it work.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Okay, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I've seen I've seen some new technology where they put
Speaker 1: new prosthetics on like war vets and now the hand
Speaker 1: can move like this and connection.
Speaker 8: Yeah, okay, I got the video.
Speaker 3: You got video.
Speaker 9: I got a video of him loaded. He loaded the gun,
Speaker 9: loading a gun four times?
Speaker 8: Wow, I'm looking at he is he?
Speaker 3: So it's not enough. It's numb with fingers. It's a
Speaker 3: number fingers he got.
Speaker 5: So, like I said, you could take fingerprints and be like,
Speaker 5: is it him?
Speaker 4: It's definitely him.
Speaker 8: I don't know if his fingers.
Speaker 4: No, it's not.
Speaker 6: Enough to pull the trigger.
Speaker 8: Oh, son is nice though, Yeah, he's Jason born with
Speaker 8: no arms.
Speaker 3: Wow, Josh, I'm not doing this with you.
Speaker 8: He's a murderer.
Speaker 3: Have feelings, and you shouldn't offend murder.
Speaker 8: Can we cut this?
Speaker 3: I just didn't know that. I didn't see in the
Speaker 3: video now.
Speaker 2: Right that that was possible.
Speaker 4: I didn't know it was possible either.
Speaker 7: And I'm I've just been shocked and I needed to
Speaker 7: talk about it.
Speaker 6: But seeing this now it makes sense. Yeah, this makes sense.
Speaker 6: When he is nice, he busting shots, he's going too.
Speaker 3: So then then you my thing is talking. Nobody to
Speaker 3: call you to stop him?
Speaker 8: Bro?
Speaker 3: Like I know it's scared. Yeah, he nice the cornhole too, Yeah,
Speaker 3: and apparently shooting.
Speaker 6: Yeah, your marks.
Speaker 3: Fucked up right now?
Speaker 2: Well, Jesus Christ something every day?
Speaker 4: Yeah, another thing I saw on dreds Is.
Speaker 7: A man was asking on threads for adult women who
Speaker 7: had their fathers in their lives from very young, how
Speaker 7: did your father punish you?
Speaker 4: Because he's wondering.
Speaker 7: He's a big guy, he's six seven and he has
Speaker 7: a daughter and he's like, I don't want to put
Speaker 7: my hands on her.
Speaker 4: But my dad didn't. I didn't get punished. I mean
Speaker 4: he put I was on punishment like twice in my life.
Speaker 1: This is going to lead to a bigger problem. Watch
Speaker 1: because what you just said is what I saw this.
Speaker 1: My dad didn't punish my sister. See how that turns
Speaker 1: out like something my dad in the discipline too.
Speaker 5: My dad didn't punish me, but my mother would lay
Speaker 5: into me.
Speaker 3: So me was no joke.
Speaker 5: I think it's a differring thing that happens again.
Speaker 2: Like, okay, now we're speaking about two parent household because
Speaker 2: were spoken about this in a previous episode. But when
Speaker 2: you have, for example, the dad in the house and
Speaker 2: the mom, if the dad doesn't want to be that
Speaker 2: physical presence that's intimidating and the daughter potentially can fair,
Speaker 2: then you defer to the mom.
Speaker 6: Did that affect how you take criticism from men and
Speaker 6: women I think.
Speaker 2: I just took criticism in general not in the best
Speaker 2: way because I wasn't used to it, particularly from my dad.
Speaker 2: My dad is you know, you know, it's easy going,
Speaker 2: so you know, hearing it from the man when yeah,
Speaker 2: I guess you're right, Matt. When when I not think
Speaker 2: about it, when time came for Devo to give me,
Speaker 2: you know, his feelings or critiquese some things that I did,
Speaker 2: I took offense to it. Very early on. I got
Speaker 2: offended because I'm like, you know, yeah, no one really
Speaker 2: held me accountable in that department, and for me, it
Speaker 2: was like my mom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I don't have any daughters, But I did
Speaker 1: tell okay this that I think it's important that dad's
Speaker 1: discipline their daughters, but discipline them with love, Like you
Speaker 1: don't have to physically assault your daughter to discipline them, so.
Speaker 3: You don't got to put hands on them.
Speaker 1: That also doesn't mean that you just let them do
Speaker 1: everything and leave it up to the mind, don't you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying?
Speaker 8: Like, I don't agree with that spirit a rod and
Speaker 8: spoil the child.
Speaker 3: I agree.
Speaker 2: Literally, how do you work with uh toy because you
Speaker 2: have a daughter, yeah, the only child?
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, she don't get no beings, man, anybody anybody
Speaker 9: touching Tori. She's feeling without touching her. Punishments withholding things,
Speaker 9: you know, groundings, stuff like that, I mean, really affects
Speaker 9: her her performance when she does something wrong. And then
Speaker 9: in conversations it's really talking about like what you're supposed
Speaker 9: to do, what you're not supposed to do, and holding
Speaker 9: her accountable for her actions.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm going to ask you. Do you hold
Speaker 2: her accountable?
Speaker 3: Because you don't.
Speaker 9: If you don't hold anybody accountable, nothing change, just not
Speaker 9: doing the same thing, especially with the child.
Speaker 8: She's so impressionable like you.
Speaker 9: For us, we just have to keep talking to her,
Speaker 9: keep telling her over and over and over, and you realize,
Speaker 9: like after a while, you see the fruits of your labor,
Speaker 9: like small things change to right to where she's like, well,
Speaker 9: now you're doing it, or she'll correct you, and she'll
Speaker 9: she'll notice the things that you're that you're doing that
Speaker 9: yeah wrong. So it's you know, hitting her or anything
Speaker 9: like that is a no no for me personally.
Speaker 8: I don't want to hit her.
Speaker 2: You know. It's funny I realized as a parent because
Speaker 2: I kind of reflected to my mom saying the same thing,
Speaker 2: like how many times do I have to say.
Speaker 5: This over and over?
Speaker 2: I say the same things over and over again, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's just parenthood, Like these kids are never
Speaker 2: going to get it on the first go round, the second,
Speaker 2: the third, or the fourth. It's just the continuous conversation
Speaker 2: to the point where it becomes muscle memory and then
Speaker 2: the norm.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I do think that it's important though, when we raise
Speaker 1: our daughters and our sons, because Kadeena and I have
Speaker 1: seen this with both of our families.
Speaker 3: When a little girl falls, the way people.
Speaker 1: Respond is very different than when the little boy falls,
Speaker 1: and a lot of times the same way this young
Speaker 1: man asks question, how do I raise or discipline my daughter?
Speaker 1: A lot of men don't know how to discipline their
Speaker 1: daughter without being physically abusive, because it's easy when you
Speaker 1: have a son to hit him right, Like a little
Speaker 1: girl falls.
Speaker 3: The first thing you hear me said, oh who trip you?
Speaker 3: Who pushed you?
Speaker 1: It's almost like that whatever happened, it wasn't your fault.
Speaker 1: Whatever happened, Let me fix whatever happened. And a lot
Speaker 1: of young women who are raised like that grow up
Speaker 1: believing that everything that happens to them is never their fault.
Speaker 2: You know what, I'm saying the same thing, And I
Speaker 2: think it's important for men to realize that if you
Speaker 2: don't want to raise the.
Speaker 1: Type of woman the same way we tell women, if
Speaker 1: you don't want to raise the type of man that
Speaker 1: you hate, you got to raise the type of young
Speaker 1: lady that you don't want to grow up and look
Speaker 1: at her and say I hate the way she is.
Speaker 3: You can't just let her do anything, and it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Have to be with force, like a lot of it
Speaker 1: is just accountability conversations. You cannot do that now, you know. Okay,
Speaker 1: you're gonna cry because you can't do something that's a you.
Speaker 1: Problems we are, you know, Like I really believe that.
Speaker 1: I learned that with my track girls. I had eight
Speaker 1: track girls that I trained for three years at midwould
Speaker 1: love those girls. One of them was my cousin Alicia.
Speaker 1: Shout out to my cousin Alicia. But all of those
Speaker 1: young ladies were raised with extreme discipline from their parents.
Speaker 1: Two of them came from single parent homes. Remember Max, Max,
Speaker 1: don't play no games. But all of these young women
Speaker 1: were raised yes, sir, no, sir, Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 3: No, ma'am.
Speaker 1: And they weren't physically assaulted, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Like they were just taught discipline. They used sports a lot.
Speaker 1: Me and Josh talk about that when you have a daughter,
Speaker 1: it's okay to get your daughter in sports, you know,
Speaker 1: put her in track, Let her be challenged, let her
Speaker 1: see how hard it is to do things, you know,
Speaker 1: and let her learn what teamwork means, you know. So
Speaker 1: that's what I would do if I had a daughter,
Speaker 1: first thing I'd do is put her in sports.
Speaker 2: Yeah, looking back as a woman now thinking about me
Speaker 2: as a child, that I think both men and women
Speaker 2: need to be held accountable for, or boys and girls.
Speaker 2: Is accountability. That's like a person thing. It's not a
Speaker 2: man or a woman thing, a boy or a girl thing.
Speaker 2: Like everybody needs to be accountable for their actions. And
Speaker 2: as a girl growing up, I can see how things
Speaker 2: can be off put onto other people where you don't
Speaker 2: assume responsibility because you feel like all these things have
Speaker 2: happened around me and not to me, so I'm not responsible.
Speaker 2: So when I realized that I had to take accountability
Speaker 2: for certain things in my life, that was a rude
Speaker 2: awakening for me being in a relationship with you, or
Speaker 2: just like looking at myself in the workforce, or like
Speaker 2: wanting to accomplish things in life. It's like, girl, stop
Speaker 2: blaming everybody else for the things that are not happening
Speaker 2: in your life.
Speaker 5: Chances are as you.
Speaker 3: I'm glad you said that, though, because also it's not
Speaker 3: that little girl's fault. You know who's fault.
Speaker 1: It is that she's like that society, all the people
Speaker 1: around who just tell you it's okay to get away
Speaker 1: with things. And now when she's an adult, you say
Speaker 1: you don't know how to take accountability. Well, the people
Speaker 1: responsible for teaching her the accountability didn't teach it to her,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: So in a lot of ways, we have to look
Speaker 3: at ourselves that as a society and say we just
Speaker 3: have to do a better job. You don't got to
Speaker 3: physically assault that young lady.
Speaker 1: But you can hold her accountable and if her feelings
Speaker 1: are hurt, oh well.
Speaker 9: That's literally the definition of uh. You speare that rod
Speaker 9: of correction and correcting them in the moment about what
Speaker 9: they do. You're going to spoil them eventually.
Speaker 8: Right.
Speaker 5: The rod doesn't necessarily mean an actual rock.
Speaker 1: Because we always talk about this also in the Bible.
Speaker 1: People take the Bible literally right and they say spoil
Speaker 1: a rod. That mean you're supposed to hit your kids.
Speaker 9: It's the rod of correction collections context in general.
Speaker 8: I don't even think it's literal. I think that justke
Speaker 8: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: They just they just try to see something and say, well,
Speaker 3: this is what it is. But Na, the rod of correction.
Speaker 3: I like that better that you made that clear.
Speaker 1: The right of correction is not actually a physical rod
Speaker 1: that you're hitting your kids with.
Speaker 7: So right, So now we're talking about educating our kids
Speaker 7: beyond the classroom. Yes, and I know when we were
Speaker 7: growing up the education did come from a beating everyone
Speaker 7: and then.
Speaker 3: As absolutely, but what are you.
Speaker 7: What are y'all doing to educate your kids and what
Speaker 7: kind of things are you educating them about? Because y'all
Speaker 7: have four boys that are all like empathetic, they're all disciplined,
Speaker 7: they're very active, respectful, they're AI.
Speaker 4: I just wanted to know that the Ellis boys are
Speaker 4: not real.
Speaker 2: Answer your phone, bro, what's with the parents today? Just
Speaker 2: like completely.
Speaker 8: Your kids are Claude Gemini.
Speaker 1: I will say this publicly if people knew how extreme
Speaker 1: Kadeen and I were with our kids all the time,
Speaker 1: they probably would think that we were nuts.
Speaker 3: I correct everything in real time.
Speaker 2: Not.
Speaker 1: Intentional, not not extreme, but even the intentionality.
Speaker 3: Can be considered extreme.
Speaker 1: For example, when when I do things with Jackson and
Speaker 1: it's not even athleticism. It's a perfect example. He was
Speaker 1: doing a report, which is why I'm glad you bought
Speaker 1: this topic. You're doing a report about western expansion in
Speaker 1: sixth grade. So he comes to me and he's like, dad,
Speaker 1: checking my report.
Speaker 3: About Western expansion. So I'm going through the whole.
Speaker 1: Report, and they talked about how the Asians helped with
Speaker 1: the railroads. They talked about how white people expanded west
Speaker 1: and they gave them land and they started to cultivate
Speaker 1: the land. And I was reading everything and I said,
Speaker 1: you don't have anything in your report about your history
Speaker 1: and ancestors. And he said, well, the only thing in
Speaker 1: the textbook was a sentenus. It says they were black cowboys.
Speaker 1: I said that only so that he shows me the textbook.
Speaker 1: There's literally no mention of any indigenous black people or
Speaker 1: enslaved black people helping in Western expansion. And that textbook
Speaker 1: it just said and there were black cowboys. So in
Speaker 1: that moment, rather than say okay, well put the sentence
Speaker 1: in there, we went on a two hour history lesson
Speaker 1: on everything in black history, from reconstruction to the ending
Speaker 1: of slavery.
Speaker 3: The black clothes.
Speaker 1: Lot of people will probably be like, Okay, that was intense,
Speaker 1: and that was also a very extra But for me
Speaker 1: as a parent, I'm like, no, this is your history.
Speaker 1: For in fact, doing this history is how I found
Speaker 1: out that my ancestors are some of the very first
Speaker 1: black indigenous people from this land. Like I found that
Speaker 1: out the Perrys from South Carolina, Orangeburg, South Carolina have
Speaker 1: owned land on this continent forever and still do. There's
Speaker 1: no mention of indigenous black people in America, which is
Speaker 1: crazy to me.
Speaker 2: The lead you to believe that we all came from
Speaker 2: some portion of Africa, right it was dispersed.
Speaker 1: And this is how crazy it gets. Kadeena and I
Speaker 1: had to do a twenty three and meters for this podcast, actually,
Speaker 1: and we did the twenty three meter and it comes
Speaker 1: back that I'm eighty seven percent Nigerian, had a little
Speaker 1: Irish in there, zero percent native to America, which I
Speaker 1: know is a false, because I know my family, my
Speaker 1: mi lineage.
Speaker 3: I can go back to speak to my grandparents and
Speaker 3: they showed.
Speaker 1: Me pictures and like, well, this was your great great
Speaker 1: grandmother de La May Perry, and she's indigenous to this land.
Speaker 3: So and I said to my family, well, how come
Speaker 3: it says I'm zero percent?
Speaker 1: They all say we did the same thing, and it
Speaker 1: said we're zero percent, which means not only do you
Speaker 1: have to teach them, because it's not being taught, they're
Speaker 1: lying purposefully to us. So it's important that all of
Speaker 1: us understand who we come from, how we got here,
Speaker 1: and what those boats actually mean. So when you ask me,
Speaker 1: like one of my teaching my boys, the first thing
Speaker 1: I'm teaching them is their lineage. Understand who you come
Speaker 1: from and how you got here, because once you understand that,
Speaker 1: then you can start getting into the other things.
Speaker 8: Right.
Speaker 2: Chiro just did a project on Niagara Falls. They need
Speaker 2: to do like a trifold, you know, like a big
Speaker 2: almost like a science project. But it was about Niagara
Speaker 2: Falls and he read in the book and one of
Speaker 2: his facts, I think the first fact he put down
Speaker 2: was that some of the first people to discover Niagara
Speaker 2: Fall were Native Americans, and Deval was like, and you
Speaker 2: make sure they know that that was your family, Yes,
Speaker 2: that was your fayeah, Because that's why valbul gets so
Speaker 2: offended when people like, I know you got into an
Speaker 2: argument one time with somebody in college, because you know
Speaker 2: several times, actually we just racist, you know, white boys
Speaker 2: that are just like go back to Africa if you
Speaker 2: don't like it here in America, and the will be like, Nigga,
Speaker 2: I was here first, My people were here, yes first,
Speaker 2: yes first.
Speaker 5: So it's been interesting with the boys and us.
Speaker 2: As Deval continues to kind of dissect and kind of
Speaker 2: put together his family tree and connect the dots. It's
Speaker 2: been interesting to see more and more how his eyes
Speaker 2: light up when he's just like, yo, they really have
Speaker 2: been out here trying to erase history, erasing history and
Speaker 2: trying to make it seem like whatever it is to
Speaker 2: support the narrative of the fact that we weren't here
Speaker 2: first is it's insane to see when you know your
Speaker 2: actual facts.
Speaker 1: So this is important for people to know. And I'm
Speaker 1: going to read this so that it's not coming from
Speaker 1: my mind.
Speaker 3: Based on historical records.
Speaker 1: The photographer known for documenting Native American life in the
Speaker 1: early twentieth century.
Speaker 3: Often used staged or made up scenes was Edward S.
Speaker 1: Curtis. While Curtis was funded by JP Morgan, not a
Speaker 1: rock child, but JP Morty. He was known for creating
Speaker 1: a romanticized vision of Native Americans, often using his own props, clothing,
Speaker 1: and staging to remove signs of modern life from his
Speaker 1: photographer photographs. You know what they found of those old
Speaker 1: Natives that weren't manufactured photos. You know who those old
Speaker 1: natives were? Black people, same headdressing, same things that they
Speaker 1: stole from the natives, all of the you know, oh lord,
Speaker 1: they tried to make fun of those are all just
Speaker 1: black Americans.
Speaker 9: There's a book that I purchased a while ago called
Speaker 9: they Came Before Columbus, Yes, which talks about black people
Speaker 9: being in America for Columbus even discovered it much, even much,
Speaker 9: even even talking about the slave trade, like we were
Speaker 9: here long before Columbus ever discovered America. So, I mean,
Speaker 9: they're always going to try to erase our history.
Speaker 1: The paper genocide, the four million people that they said
Speaker 1: came from Africa here to America, and they said a
Speaker 1: million of them died during reconstruction, during the war. It
Speaker 1: was just like, there's no transcripts of four million people
Speaker 1: coming from Africa to America. So where did these four
Speaker 1: million black people come from? And then when I asked,
Speaker 1: my family, we own land in South Carolina? Still, where
Speaker 1: did this land come from? All my grandparents' aunts, great aunts,
Speaker 1: we've always had this land.
Speaker 3: They come from anybody?
Speaker 2: Yeah, my midwife, Takia, she ended up leaving Brooklyn and
Speaker 2: when she retired and she moved to South Carolina, and
Speaker 2: she said, we literally have over like I to forget
Speaker 2: how much, maybe sixty acres of land here in South
Speaker 2: Carolina that we just said, you know, we're going to
Speaker 2: homestead and compound and his her mom both to.
Speaker 5: House or sister build a house.
Speaker 2: And she's like, this is just land that we've had
Speaker 2: passed down from generation to generation to generation.
Speaker 1: So the first thing when we talk about what we
Speaker 1: teach our boys is who they are, so they have
Speaker 1: a sense of awareness.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: The second thing for me is a dad, and I
Speaker 1: talked about this before, is emotional stability.
Speaker 3: Growing up, me and my brothers were somewhat of crash outs.
Speaker 1: Like we fought, we fought each other, we fought outside,
Speaker 1: we thought other people. It was just if you grew
Speaker 1: up in the nineties in Brooklyn and you were a
Speaker 1: latch key kid, you had to protect yourself because your
Speaker 1: parents weren't there.
Speaker 3: Y'all grew up the same way you.
Speaker 1: Grew up in Brooklyn. You know you feel for me.
Speaker 1: My crash outs came out of fear. It was like,
Speaker 1: I'm a smaller person compared to these dudes. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: show them how bad I am before. So someone says
Speaker 1: something crazy to me, then that means we just gonna
Speaker 1: get to fighting. And I realized that it was because
Speaker 1: I wasn't emotionally mature enough to realize that when people
Speaker 1: say stuff to you, you think that they see you right,
Speaker 1: like your insecurities and stuff that, and when they say
Speaker 1: stuff you don't realize that they're projecting their own insecure
Speaker 1: So now you're defending your insecurity. I want my boys
Speaker 1: to be mature enough to understand that. Wait a minute,
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna let somebody knock me off of my alignment.
Speaker 1: No one's gonna ever make me crash out. Man a woman,
Speaker 1: there's nothing you can ever say to me to get
Speaker 1: me acting outside of the way I want to act.
Speaker 3: So for me, outside of knowing who you are.
Speaker 1: My boys have to be emotionally secure every time they
Speaker 1: leave this house. That's the only way they can survive, right,
Speaker 1: doesn't have they come up against a police officer, another
Speaker 1: man that might be looking to take something from him,
Speaker 1: a woman that you might need to take something from them,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So for me, it's emotional security, No,
Speaker 1: for sure. I mean, you have a daughter, do you
Speaker 1: talk to I mean you do talk to her about
Speaker 1: it as.
Speaker 8: Because she emotional as hell, man, so you do it
Speaker 8: a lot.
Speaker 9: Like recently, she had an issue with Princess school where
Speaker 9: they were well she felt they were talking about her
Speaker 9: and it stemmed from like a girl misplacing her pencil
Speaker 9: and then accused my daughter of stealing her pencil. So
Speaker 9: now she's not defending herself and now they're clicking up
Speaker 9: together and they're talking about her.
Speaker 2: That's such a great thing to do.
Speaker 9: And my my take on it was is talking her
Speaker 9: through it, like understand like you can be emotional about
Speaker 9: this because it's affecting you, but to understand it's not
Speaker 9: going to stop. You're gonna deal with this at every
Speaker 9: single stage. So it's important to realize now that you
Speaker 9: can't be so attached to people if they turn on
Speaker 9: you now, it brings a reaction out of you, right, Like,
Speaker 9: I understand you love them, I understand that they're're friends.
Speaker 9: But there's a time where you're going to be You're
Speaker 9: gonna have emotional attachment to people and they're going to
Speaker 9: turn on you.
Speaker 8: How do you deal with it?
Speaker 9: And it's not a lesson not to be because you're your.
Speaker 8: Own person, right and you don't.
Speaker 9: And we talked about this also, like this is just this,
Speaker 9: This is the mark of what a leader is. You're
Speaker 9: not going to follow just because they have feelings about
Speaker 9: you that now you are going to be affected by this,
Speaker 9: and it's going to deeply affect the how you move. Yeah,
Speaker 9: like you have to still be you in that presence
Speaker 9: and feeling like everyone's turned on you. It's going to
Speaker 9: be a thing that it's not just now, Like you
Speaker 9: can't this is going to be your teenager.
Speaker 8: You're in your twenties.
Speaker 9: I say, Yo, you might be in your forties and
Speaker 9: feel like this, But how you deal with this now
Speaker 9: is going to affect how you deal with in the future.
Speaker 2: You said something really key, Josh when you said, like,
Speaker 2: this is the sign of a leader, because we've even
Speaker 2: experienced that with Jackson. I think when you teach your
Speaker 2: children about emotional security, maturity, how to handle themselves, they
Speaker 2: tend to get into spaces, which we see even with
Speaker 2: Jackson in the middle school space where his friends may
Speaker 2: be acting out, they may be acting erratic, but because
Speaker 2: he carries himself with a sense of leadership, we've heard
Speaker 2: from his teachers that when Jackson's in a space, are
Speaker 2: in a room with his peers and they may be
Speaker 2: cutting up, he will be the first one to be like, guys, stop,
Speaker 2: like what are you doing? Or if he's with his
Speaker 2: coach and the kids are like, you know, they're playing around,
Speaker 2: messing around, he's like, guys focused, like let's hurry up
Speaker 2: and get this over with. So we're trying to also
Speaker 2: implore them with the ability and the no to say,
Speaker 2: you know what, I can actually control the environment I'm
Speaker 2: in if I keep myself composedly controlled. And it's to
Speaker 2: the point now where Jackson even came to us the
Speaker 2: other day and he said, if I'm in a space
Speaker 2: that I see, I don't like what's going on, he said,
Speaker 2: I just leave, I just leave. And that's exactly that
Speaker 2: came out of nowhere, but it was like, yes, that's
Speaker 2: exactly what we're trying to teach you.
Speaker 1: I am teaching all of my boys to learn how
Speaker 1: to exist in solitude.
Speaker 3: And love themselves. Life can be lonely.
Speaker 1: When you grow up in the house where you got
Speaker 1: brothers and your dad is always on you and your
Speaker 1: mom is there, you're not used to being alone.
Speaker 3: I don't want them to grow up this happened to me.
Speaker 1: And you get to college and it's the first time
Speaker 1: you're in a dorm by yourself and your roommate don't
Speaker 1: know each other, and he's doing his thing, and you
Speaker 1: feel alone.
Speaker 3: It caused me to be depressed.
Speaker 1: Remember in college my first semester, I hated being in school.
Speaker 3: I used to go drive back.
Speaker 1: To my parents' house all the time because I just
Speaker 1: felt comfortable being around people that would reminded me of myself.
Speaker 1: Kay coming to Hatstraw was a huge reason why Hofstraw
Speaker 1: worked out for me because when she came, I had
Speaker 1: somebody here who reminded me of back home. So what
Speaker 1: I want to do is I want to teach my
Speaker 1: boys how to walk in the world alone, because it's
Speaker 1: going to come times as a man where they're not
Speaker 1: going to have anybody to rely on. I'm not always
Speaker 1: going to be here. Their brothers will be in other
Speaker 1: colleges of the places. I need them to be strong
Speaker 1: and be like, you know what, I got.
Speaker 8: This, that's leadership man.
Speaker 3: So you know, we started this with Kaz writing this book.
Speaker 1: I'm writing the book raising Kings, and then there's a
Speaker 1: chapter in there where I talk about being my brother's keeper,
Speaker 1: and I talk about how me and my brother always
Speaker 1: had each other's back to the point where it was
Speaker 1: a detriment to both of us where if something didn't
Speaker 1: happen for my brother, I felt like it was my fault.
Speaker 1: If something didn't happen or happened to me, my brother
Speaker 1: thought it was his fault. And we had to learn
Speaker 1: how to be like yo, dude, do you a young man?
Speaker 1: And I'm talking about now, we had to learn we're
Speaker 1: having conversations now where it's yo, that's your wife, your kids,
Speaker 1: handle your business, and he telling me like, yo, you
Speaker 1: handle yours. I don't want my sons to be in
Speaker 1: their late thirties realizing that right, you know, they don't
Speaker 1: know how to be alone.
Speaker 3: No, for sure, I want to teach them how to
Speaker 3: and it'll.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it'll alleviate years of that stress or you know
Speaker 2: that the times where maybe you guys weren't communicating effectively
Speaker 2: and it drives a wedge. Yeah, because you feel like
Speaker 2: in turn, you're responsible for your brother and all the
Speaker 2: decisions that he made. We've been working on that with
Speaker 2: Kaz because of the closeness and age between Cairo and him,
Speaker 2: and Cairo being father Abraham.
Speaker 5: The second like his dad, Cairo is.
Speaker 2: He's such a nurturer by nature, you know, So Kaz
Speaker 2: having him and then Jackson, who's like the leader of
Speaker 2: the pack, we realized how Cads just be floating through.
Speaker 3: Like he don't do floating nothing.
Speaker 4: Cas come from.
Speaker 1: Downstairs, Cairo fixed his tie, me and me putting his jacket.
Speaker 3: He will walk outside without putting his shoes on.
Speaker 1: If somebody will say, yo, put your shoes, your backpack?
Speaker 1: Oh door, where's your backpack?
Speaker 8: Oh?
Speaker 5: I'm like, are you going to school?
Speaker 8: Or what?
Speaker 3: Close the door? Cast? Oh? Yeah, It's like dude, right,
Speaker 3: you're gonna be nothing, nothing, a fucked up grown man.
Speaker 1: If we let you go through life like this and
Speaker 1: then you go to college at eighteen nineteen and you're
Speaker 1: looking for people open your doors and take your back.
Speaker 2: You're gonna get run over. That's how you become a follower. Yep,
Speaker 2: and you get run over. So now Kas, we don't.
Speaker 3: Do sh nothing.
Speaker 8: Yep.
Speaker 2: Personally, I'll be looking at Kas like and even if
Speaker 2: I give them directions, now I'd be like, repeat to
Speaker 2: me what I said, because you'll.
Speaker 5: Be looking at you and I'm like, you here ship
Speaker 5: that I just said? Just id you?
Speaker 2: I said?
Speaker 5: It went literally right over your head.
Speaker 2: So I'll be like, bro, repeat it and he'd be like,
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, go ahead.
Speaker 8: And you're taking away the training wheels.
Speaker 1: That's what that's literally literally, oh god, that's say. Sometimes
Speaker 1: people may say it's extreme because I'm the dad that
Speaker 1: was like, you ride the bike and if you fall
Speaker 1: and cut your knee, I'm not coming over there.
Speaker 3: I'm not he fell outside doing something, Dad, my knee,
Speaker 3: I'm bleeding. Do you know where the band aids are?
Speaker 3: Do you know? Why are you coming to me?
Speaker 1: And I know a lot of people will be like,
Speaker 1: you know, he's seven, he needs some No, he need
Speaker 1: to go wipe that cut off and get back on
Speaker 1: that bike.
Speaker 10: If you could bathe you could put a band aid
Speaker 10: on man video game that you scored one hundred and
Speaker 10: sixty eight points against the cliper was last night.
Speaker 3: Just shooting. Don't get that band aid.
Speaker 5: That's when we realized. We realized that ca Cats is
Speaker 5: very much like me.
Speaker 2: We selective. You know, he's born like a week before me.
Speaker 2: That's kind of how we operate. We selected, but when
Speaker 2: we locked, and we locked it. When we ain't, we ain't.
Speaker 5: And what I'm trying to explain to him now is.
Speaker 2: What I'm trying to explain to him because I understand
Speaker 2: the detriment it was to me growing up. I'm just like, yo,
Speaker 2: there's gonna be things that you have to do in
Speaker 2: life because it's required of you. You don't have a choice,
Speaker 2: So you might as well get on the side of
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get this done effectively the first time, and
Speaker 2: so I don't do it again.
Speaker 3: What's the motto? The elis mono. We may have several,
Speaker 3: we have several We may never do what we always
Speaker 3: want to do, but we.
Speaker 5: Will always do what we have to do.
Speaker 3: That's something I tell them.
Speaker 2: All time, especially as men.
Speaker 1: Remember when Jack again, there's something, there's something we will
Speaker 1: never do what we always want to do, but we
Speaker 1: will always do what we have to do. Like you
Speaker 1: will never in your life get a chance to always
Speaker 1: do what you want to do. That's just accept that
Speaker 1: you will never be always able to do what you
Speaker 1: want to do. But those things you have to do,
Speaker 1: that is the standing. You can't drop that and say
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I don't care the things you
Speaker 1: have to do.
Speaker 3: You have to the stuff you want. If you can't,
Speaker 3: oh well, and it's not fair. I tell them, this
Speaker 3: is not fair life.
Speaker 1: Oh well, you can, you can cry all you want,
Speaker 1: but now I watched Jackson bro Jackson fourteen years old.
Speaker 1: I remember when Jackson was eleven and fell off that bike.
Speaker 1: He came up, his knees was scuffed up. He came upstairs,
Speaker 1: was riding down the hill. He had just learned to
Speaker 1: ride the bike in La and he was riding down
Speaker 1: the hill, fell boom, scuffed up. He came up odds
Speaker 1: was a little red. I said, what happens? I fell
Speaker 1: off the bike. One of the neighbors walked him up.
Speaker 1: I said, what are you done riding? He was like yeah,
Speaker 1: I said, I still see kids outside and he was
Speaker 1: like I said.
Speaker 3: Finished ride of your bike, you're gonna fall and come
Speaker 3: up here like a punk. Go finish.
Speaker 1: Didn't see Jackson for another two hours. He went back
Speaker 1: and started riding, forgot and kept riding. And the only
Speaker 1: reason why I did it is I didn't want him
Speaker 1: to be so afraid after he fell off that bike that.
Speaker 3: He never wants to go out there. And I wanted
Speaker 3: him to see that.
Speaker 1: As much as you think you're embarrassed about falling, nobody
Speaker 1: down their.
Speaker 6: Cares or probably even so.
Speaker 3: And the minute he got down and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 3: he's right, the whole world sid millions.
Speaker 2: And I got again.
Speaker 5: And I got on the saddle again. I was for
Speaker 5: my children. You did to prove it.
Speaker 3: That's why you're my dog.
Speaker 8: But that's so so part of that generational gap. Samn,
Speaker 8: you won't leave my.
Speaker 5: Hament I was reflecting.
Speaker 3: I was, I was.
Speaker 5: He was running back a wars cause.
Speaker 8: That's also a generational gap. Man.
Speaker 9: We grew up in an age where you fell off
Speaker 9: your bike, man, you just went ahead and you got
Speaker 9: back on it.
Speaker 8: You didn't care because.
Speaker 6: There's nothing to go inside and do anyway, right, So
Speaker 6: you have to read a book at that point if
Speaker 6: you made a scene out of it.
Speaker 3: Because that was me.
Speaker 6: I rode my bike around the block. I wasn't supposed
Speaker 6: to end up flipping over a gate.
Speaker 3: Yep.
Speaker 6: He was like, what are you crying for? You did
Speaker 6: something you wasn't supposed to do.
Speaker 9: You get chastised for getting hurt. These kids don't get
Speaker 9: chastise for getting hurt anymore. They get baby.
Speaker 5: That is a fact.
Speaker 9: He was still you know, nineteen nineties values in two
Speaker 9: thousand and.
Speaker 8: Are model kids?
Speaker 6: Are you stupid or something?
Speaker 3: No? You you and still the same exact values.
Speaker 1: One thing I say about our demographic is wrong about
Speaker 1: we say everything is trauma. I will, I will be honest,
Speaker 1: But I listened to a lot of millennials BRU, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, that wasn't trauma.
Speaker 3: That was good parenting.
Speaker 1: Your parents told you you couldn't go to the party
Speaker 1: because they didn't know who the people was there. That's
Speaker 1: not trauma. That's not them creating a box and putting
Speaker 1: you in the box. That's protecting you from predators. And
Speaker 1: I think that we have to stop labeling everything that
Speaker 1: happened to us as trauma. When your parents let you
Speaker 1: fall and get up on your own, that's not trauma.
Speaker 6: The internet just taking running, yes.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and everybody being so freaking soft and sensitive now
Speaker 2: to everything so offended. Oh my god, I can't believe
Speaker 2: this happened to me. It's just like then you want
Speaker 2: to complain simultaneously that the next generation ain't built like us.
Speaker 3: We wonder why, because it was respon. That's a fact.
Speaker 3: That is a fact.
Speaker 9: It's responsible for us, like over protecting and overprotecting, but
Speaker 9: it's a part of us, like shielding our kids from
Speaker 9: the realities that we also went through, Like I played
Speaker 9: in the park, crack on a crack on the ground,
Speaker 9: like crack vials. Right now, my daughter doesn't have to
Speaker 9: deal with that at all anymore. And she thinks we're
Speaker 9: being overprotective.
Speaker 8: You ain't going on sleepover since no, No, I don't know.
Speaker 8: You're just not doing it.
Speaker 5: You're not doing it.
Speaker 2: The COLDA literally came home last night, was like, Mom,
Speaker 2: I want to have a sleepover. I said, with who Olivia?
Speaker 2: I said absolutely, yeah, I said sleep I said, we
Speaker 2: don't do sleepovers.
Speaker 5: You can tell Olivia.
Speaker 8: Yea, Olivia, that's.
Speaker 5: What I want to know. I said, it could be Olivia,
Speaker 5: it could be Olive. O. We don't do sleepovers, sir.
Speaker 2: So he was like, okay, Mom, no dramatic shoulders and everything,
Speaker 2: And I said, you let Olivia know that we don't
Speaker 2: do sleepovers in our house and he's like, okay.
Speaker 3: I will say.
Speaker 1: This is one thing that I noticed about social media.
Speaker 1: You know who controls social media and the narratives, it's
Speaker 1: typically fifteen, fifteen, and thirty, right, But those are people
Speaker 1: who haven't lived enough life yet to understand. So all
Speaker 1: of these stuff that they're saying is trauma right between
Speaker 1: fifteen and thirty. My parents are so best trauma. Once
Speaker 1: they become older than thirty and they have kids, that's
Speaker 1: when the tune changes and it's like, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: that wasn't trauma because I got kids now, and these
Speaker 1: motherfuckers need to get Like I'm realizing, when you listen
Speaker 1: to certain people, take key to what part of life they'reing.
Speaker 3: Right. That doesn't mean that all older people know everything,
Speaker 3: But what I'm.
Speaker 1: Saying is that when you're following a podcast or you're
Speaker 1: watching somebody live life, ask youself, if this person is
Speaker 1: twenty six and they talking about parenting and they don't
Speaker 1: have no kids, do they really know about parenting?
Speaker 8: You know what I'm saying, and a lot of it
Speaker 8: is during my content. Yeah, you can't even take proper
Speaker 8: context from online.
Speaker 5: You can't.
Speaker 8: It's rage bait, yes, entertainment saying it just to say it.
Speaker 2: But then some people have Yeah, they have like a
Speaker 2: leg to stand on. They feel like because they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: somebody's saying exactly what I say exactly, and it's just like, no,
Speaker 2: that's probably not healthy.
Speaker 1: That's another thing I can teach our kids that social
Speaker 1: media is fake. We tell them the digital space is
Speaker 1: not a real place. Like my kids are not allowed
Speaker 1: to have social media. Jackson has a profile. He's not
Speaker 1: allowed to post anything because he's fourteen. He's gonna he's
Speaker 1: going to high school and he's going to start interacting
Speaker 1: with college coaches. When I say, it's okay, but I'm
Speaker 1: not giving my kids open access to the internet.
Speaker 3: I'm not.
Speaker 1: Cairo just came to us two days ago. This is
Speaker 1: everything I'm about to tell you the best way. It's
Speaker 1: not an exaggeration. I know I like to tell stories
Speaker 1: to make people laugh. This is not an exaggeration. We're
Speaker 1: sitting out front of the lawn.
Speaker 5: This is before we're sitting on the law.
Speaker 2: Let me just preface it by saying he came to
Speaker 2: me and he was like, uh, he's sitting and eating
Speaker 2: a sandwich. He just made a sofa sandwich. And he's
Speaker 2: just like, Mom, if it's okay with you, when you
Speaker 2: have a second, I'd like to speak with you.
Speaker 3: And Dad nine years old said it just like that,
Speaker 3: and I was like, not exaggerating.
Speaker 5: Did he get somebody pregnant? Like what's happening?
Speaker 8: I like.
Speaker 2: He did say it was serious, okay, I said sure,
Speaker 2: I said, no problem, mean, Dad, you're outside on the lawn.
Speaker 5: So when whenever you finished saying where and she's like okay, so.
Speaker 1: Now we're outside, Sakari is there right? Kyrol comes outside?
Speaker 3: That is it okay? If I speak to you guys?
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, you won't speak to us in private?
Speaker 1: Or can your aunt stay? I'd like to speak to
Speaker 1: you in private. So now I'm thinking, like, dang, he
Speaker 1: really got somebody pregnant?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 1: Well, like I'm not like this. This can't be like
Speaker 1: this serious. So then Takari leaves and I guess myself, Jeff,
Speaker 1: he says, I'm turning ten in September, and I would
Speaker 1: like to talk to you guys about getting your cell phone, and.
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, the simple fact that asked.
Speaker 1: And this is the funny part, because I told him,
Speaker 1: if you want something, don't come to me like an
Speaker 1: invalid can get. You have to come to me and
Speaker 1: present a case as to why you think you deserve it,
Speaker 1: why you need it, what you're going to do with it.
Speaker 1: I'm telling him, and I've been telling him in Jackson
Speaker 1: this for years. This boy came up there with a
Speaker 1: whole case and I was so flabbergasted by the fact
Speaker 1: that he came with me that I said yeah.
Speaker 3: He started, and then Kay was like, wait, what do
Speaker 3: you need a cell phone for?
Speaker 1: He went through a bullet list of what he needs
Speaker 1: his cell for for Sometimes when I leave the house,
Speaker 1: I would like to get in contact with you guys,
Speaker 1: and I can't get in contact with you.
Speaker 3: Kay Boom, you have an iPad? Don't you use the iPad?
Speaker 1: I can, but I can't carry my iPad with me
Speaker 1: sometimes because it doesn't fit in my pocket.
Speaker 3: I was like, good one.
Speaker 1: And she's like, Okay, how long do you think you
Speaker 1: should be on the cell phone for? I was like, yo,
Speaker 1: she's asked some questions he had answers for everyone that.
Speaker 2: Made a whole lot of sense too.
Speaker 4: I was like, Cairo is forty three.
Speaker 5: Indeed he's older than me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's older. He's definitely over to me. I want
Speaker 4: to ask.
Speaker 2: And it's funny because we made joke like when he
Speaker 2: takes when we go to t ball practice with me
Speaker 2: Uncle Matt and everything. Cairo is literally like his agent.
Speaker 2: He's just like, I can bea Dakota's agent. By the time,
Speaker 2: I was like, well, you can go law school and
Speaker 2: seriously become like a lawyer and you can negotiate contracts
Speaker 2: and stuff.
Speaker 5: And I see the wheels going off in his head.
Speaker 5: He was probably like.
Speaker 2: You know what, I could after I played in the
Speaker 2: NFL and after I have my acting career, I could
Speaker 2: be my brother's manager.
Speaker 5: On the side, I could, you know.
Speaker 2: But he came to us with such a case that
Speaker 2: I was like, because I didn't want to think, like
Speaker 2: the president that we're setting here is not when you
Speaker 2: turn a certain age you get X y Z. It's
Speaker 2: what's your maturity level, Like, what are the times? What
Speaker 2: do you need this for in a time where we're
Speaker 2: all cognizant of getting off of our devices, why would
Speaker 2: we give you another device to potentially distract you.
Speaker 5: So yeah, that was one of the things.
Speaker 2: That's why I started with the line of questions also
Speaker 2: to I want to see how he composes himself and
Speaker 2: how he's able to advocate for himself if it's something
Speaker 2: he feels like he needs advocate.
Speaker 1: So he stood up there, ten toes down, told everything.
Speaker 1: I asked a question.
Speaker 2: Eye contact, no, sir, yes, ma'am.
Speaker 3: No. Man, I was up there just smiling. She looking
Speaker 3: at me.
Speaker 6: This interrogation.
Speaker 1: Man's how many hours he is just like going through it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, yo, he really listens.
Speaker 7: If you get him a cellf home, he's going to
Speaker 7: have god knows who online, he's gonna have Steven Spielberg.
Speaker 4: On the phone.
Speaker 2: Probably, yeah, probably absolutely.
Speaker 3: Speaking of.
Speaker 1: Another conversation that we have with our kids a lot.
Speaker 1: We talk about faith a lot with our kids. And
Speaker 1: Kirol's at that age at nine, where same exact age
Speaker 1: Jackson started asking me about Black Lives matter. Because everything
Speaker 1: was going on in twenty twenty, It's almost like history
Speaker 1: is repeating itself. Kiro's asking me a lot of race
Speaker 1: related questions because of everything that's going on in the world.
Speaker 1: So we were talking about that and talking about slavery
Speaker 1: and our ancestors and talking about where we came from.
Speaker 1: So we started talking about God and I see his
Speaker 1: eyes automatically just start like welling up a little bit,
Speaker 1: you know, And I could see he got the same
Speaker 1: thing in himself that I had when I was not
Speaker 1: And the first thing I said was, kiro, you understand
Speaker 1: that you don't have to fear God right like God
Speaker 1: is love? And he got light and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want you walking around thinking that God is
Speaker 1: just going to convict and condemn you for not being perfect.
Speaker 1: That's not how the world works, bro, That's that's not
Speaker 1: how God works. And I watched them go for real
Speaker 1: because he goes to a faith based church, you know,
Speaker 1: a Christian based church, so school, a Christian based school.
Speaker 3: So he's hearing reading scriptures, He's put scriptures on his shoes.
Speaker 1: Everything he does, he does with the belief that it
Speaker 1: has to be ordained by God in order for it
Speaker 1: to work. And I want him to continue to walk
Speaker 1: in that, but I don't want him to have the
Speaker 1: same fears that I had, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: in the same misunderstandings and being easily manipulated by people
Speaker 1: in any church.
Speaker 3: So we talk to our boys about who God really is.
Speaker 1: Not about what religion may mean to people, because I
Speaker 1: don't give a shit what religion means to people. We
Speaker 1: talk to them about who God is and who God
Speaker 1: is to us, and how they need to walk with
Speaker 1: God in their life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, as much as we talk about all the other stuff,
Speaker 3: religion is huge in their house.
Speaker 5: Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2: Definitely. All Right, I love that. Well, let's take a
Speaker 2: quick break and we'll be back with our listener letter
Speaker 2: of the day.
Speaker 3: All right, we're back, y'all with Kadeen's favorite part of
Speaker 3: this show.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we'll be getting into today.
Speaker 2: You want to read a baby, I go for it.
Speaker 1: Hey, Kadeen, Devour, Triple Matt, and Josh. First, let me
Speaker 1: thank y'all for bringing the vibes to our community. It's
Speaker 1: so important for us to be thinking about and hearing
Speaker 1: the topics that y'all discussed, especially when it comes to relationships.
Speaker 1: I swear my husband is like Deval and I'm very
Speaker 1: much like Kadeen. I really need to go get y'all's book.
Speaker 1: Do it anyway. I am reaching out because I would
Speaker 1: like to hear y'alls thoughts perspective on something that you
Speaker 1: will encounter soon. I really respect you'll points of view,
Speaker 1: so I'm curious to know what you all will say.
Speaker 1: My son is in college and he works part time.
Speaker 1: He's in a fraternity He's a good student and very
Speaker 1: good kid. Everyone who knows him always has something positive
Speaker 1: to say. While being all these things, he is still
Speaker 1: a young man who will be trying to teach life
Speaker 1: that We will be trying to teach life lessons to
Speaker 1: including how to get after it, not always asking for money,
Speaker 1: but finding ways to get it in his own way.
Speaker 1: He has very generous grandparents, so much so that when
Speaker 1: he decided that he wanted to live in the fraternity
Speaker 1: house for some reason, he believed that he could and
Speaker 1: he does, and he does because.
Speaker 3: They help him pay for it, but most of his paycheck.
Speaker 1: Goes towards rent. Now, being a mother to this good kid,
Speaker 1: I have a hard time not.
Speaker 3: Giving him money. I know where she's coming from.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yep, And we just went over this with Jackson too.
Speaker 1: We have explained to him that we will give him
Speaker 1: money for his knees, but he needs to cover his
Speaker 1: wants fun. Yes, obviously, we have spoiled him to this point,
Speaker 1: but it's hard not to when he's a good kid.
Speaker 3: What do I do? And how much? How much is
Speaker 3: too much? I love y'all. Thanks in advance with the advice.
Speaker 2: But dances you tell us because you've literally been thinking
Speaker 2: the same thing.
Speaker 5: That's always my thing. Jackson is such a good kid.
Speaker 2: He does not ask for anything often, so if he
Speaker 2: does ask for something, we're inclined to be like yeah,
Speaker 2: because why not?
Speaker 3: No whit My.
Speaker 7: Thing is white people don't ask themselves this question when
Speaker 7: their kids need something, They just give it to him.
Speaker 7: My friend, I swear my friend had a credit card
Speaker 7: was all her parents' credit card that they paid the
Speaker 7: bill for until she got married.
Speaker 1: And then I'm pretty sure that that friend has horrible
Speaker 1: spending habits.
Speaker 3: I know wealthy white people. You know how healthy white
Speaker 3: people work.
Speaker 1: They teach their kids about finances from young I got
Speaker 1: Jackson a bank account when he was nine. I put
Speaker 1: Jackson on an allowance from the time he was nine.
Speaker 1: I told Jackson, you don't got to ask me for nothing.
Speaker 1: As long as it's in your account, you can pay
Speaker 1: for it. So you know what Jackson has now learned
Speaker 1: how to do, and it's his own check book. He
Speaker 1: gets gifts for his friends, he get gifts for his brothers.
Speaker 1: He buys his own stuff. He never asked me for anything.
Speaker 6: Jacks me buying fire gifts of people too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see it because he saves money too.
Speaker 1: The first six months of him having his own bank account,
Speaker 1: this is what happened first six months.
Speaker 3: At the time he was nine.
Speaker 2: We just moved no, ten, ten, just moved here.
Speaker 3: Right, he had turned ten.
Speaker 1: He had got a phone for his birthday, and I
Speaker 1: opened up his Chase first bank account. I was putting
Speaker 1: one hundred dollars in there every month, And I said,
Speaker 1: this is not for chores, because you're going to be
Speaker 1: a grown man. You're gonna have to make up your bed,
Speaker 1: You're gonna have to cook your food and clean. So
Speaker 1: I'm not paying you to do chores. This is for
Speaker 1: the extra activities you do. You wanted to do tech,
Speaker 1: he was doing chess, he was doing debate. I said,
Speaker 1: those are things that you learned that can also turn
Speaker 1: into a paycheck as you get older. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: give you one hundred dollars every month for you doing
Speaker 1: things that can also lead to your paycheck ted bat.
Speaker 1: He said, don't ask me for nothing, no more tho
Speaker 1: you wan roadblocks, you can get it. First three months
Speaker 1: kept running out of money because he kept you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: But then he figured it out.
Speaker 1: And then after a while I'm looking at his bank
Speaker 1: account and I'm like, yo, you ain't buy no more
Speaker 1: rod blocks. He's like nah, because I'm trying to get
Speaker 1: these sneakers in the robot.
Speaker 3: And I said, oh, you learned on your own priorities.
Speaker 3: Just by priorities, I need I need to do that.
Speaker 1: And now he gets more money per month because he
Speaker 1: got older, he's taking on more sports. But when I
Speaker 1: watch him with his money, y'all, he and he teaches
Speaker 1: his brothers. We went to Dick Sporting Goods for his cleats.
Speaker 1: He has to buy his own stuff because I'm telling him,
Speaker 1: I said, hey, if you get an nil deal, you
Speaker 1: think I'm going to be supporting your your lifestyle.
Speaker 3: No, if you get an nil dealing, you making six figures.
Speaker 1: You got to pay for your trainer, you got to
Speaker 1: pay for your recovery, and it's all going to be
Speaker 1: a tax write off. So he's like bet tea. He
Speaker 1: goes to Dick sporting and goes with Cairo, Dad, can
Speaker 1: I get it? He's like, jack go some yo, you
Speaker 1: got to ask that to open your bank account. Then
Speaker 1: you don't got to ask him for nothing. You can
Speaker 1: get it if you can afford it. So I hate
Speaker 1: him over there talking in the corner, and I don't intervene,
Speaker 1: and I.
Speaker 3: Just go, what you want me to get you, Cairo?
Speaker 3: He goes nothing. I'm good. Let me see how you
Speaker 3: get out of this. You know what these fools did.
Speaker 1: They went home and Jackson told Cairo, I'll get you
Speaker 1: whatever you want. You just got to give me the
Speaker 1: money back when you get your birthday money. And they
Speaker 1: ordered their own stuff online.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I'm gonna rock
Speaker 1: with it now about paying off his debt.
Speaker 3: You see what I'm saying, because now he got Cairo
Speaker 3: giving him his birthday money.
Speaker 1: Kyro got money from his uh, he got one hundred
Speaker 1: dollars from his residuals from being little Zach. First thing
Speaker 1: he goes over to jack it was just like, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get you your money back before my birthday.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, that's good. Learning about interest.
Speaker 8: What Jackson didn't learn though, is how to shake somebody down.
Speaker 3: I didn't teach him how to be a businessman to
Speaker 3: get interests on that money.
Speaker 5: Yet I just let him it's coming.
Speaker 3: That's next level, yea, because I only told him to
Speaker 3: help his brother.
Speaker 5: That's when friends come along and we're like, you're my brow.
Speaker 2: Pay with interest.
Speaker 3: Facts.
Speaker 1: When it's your friend, you got to get interested because
Speaker 1: I gotta tell Jackson, that's money out of your account,
Speaker 1: that's money that's not growing, so he should pay you
Speaker 1: money back with interest.
Speaker 3: But that's like a concept that's greater. But when TA
Speaker 3: get older, that's.
Speaker 6: Going to be the fact that they even understand this.
Speaker 2: Right now, Cairo, anytime he gets little money, like your
Speaker 2: mom sent them all Valentine's Day cards and I think
Speaker 2: he got like twenty dollars in the card. So anytime
Speaker 2: he gets money now, he hands it over to me
Speaker 2: and he's like, mom, can you put that in Mustash.
Speaker 2: I know that he has a mental note of how
Speaker 2: much money he's been giving me, so I got to
Speaker 2: remember I come correct because sometimes I'll be like, I
Speaker 2: need a little twenty dollars.
Speaker 3: It's not mental. He wrote it down. He writes it
Speaker 3: down there.
Speaker 5: He's gonna let me know my make sure that you
Speaker 5: have my twenty.
Speaker 3: Dollars will shake you down absolutely.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, well, shit, because he knows that Sean
Speaker 2: has the bank accounts for them, so they all get
Speaker 2: their money put in their bank accounts, so he's keeping
Speaker 2: a running tab. So I got to make sure I
Speaker 2: want my piece and cues on me because I don't
Speaker 2: the smoke with Cairo.
Speaker 1: Jackson shakes me down. And he's better with numbers than
Speaker 1: I am. Because Yo, he said that you didn't pay
Speaker 1: me for November in December, I was like, yes, I did,
Speaker 1: like and I know that I did because it's on
Speaker 1: like direct deposit.
Speaker 3: Every month it didn't come out. I didn't know that
Speaker 3: it didn't come out.
Speaker 1: But he was like, nah, Dad, I get two fifty
Speaker 1: every month and I was supposed to get this and
Speaker 1: you didn't get this. And I'm like, how are you
Speaker 1: over here telling me about numbers. I'm supposed to be
Speaker 1: telling you. And I paid him his money up front.
Speaker 1: But by the fifth if that money don't come out,
Speaker 1: and the reason it didn't come out sometimes with the bank,
Speaker 1: if the day it is supposed to comes out happens
Speaker 1: on a Sunday and the bank is closed.
Speaker 3: Sometimes it won't come out until the following weekend.
Speaker 1: So if the fifth comes around and he don't see
Speaker 1: that money in his bank account, he coming right to.
Speaker 3: Me like yo yo. And I told him that you
Speaker 3: have to do that.
Speaker 1: I said, Jackson, if you were working for someone that's
Speaker 1: not your dad and they don't pay you on time,
Speaker 1: you just gonna keep working. And he was like, I
Speaker 1: guess not. I said, there's no guests, you can't. You
Speaker 1: are well within your right say hey, I was supposed
Speaker 1: to get paid X amount of dollars. Because we also
Speaker 1: as a paying have to get used.
Speaker 3: To doing good business.
Speaker 1: So start doing good business with your kids, like teach
Speaker 1: them the principles of it. So for me to help
Speaker 1: this lady right here, I know he's older, he's in college.
Speaker 3: I would have started early.
Speaker 1: But what you do now is you give him a
Speaker 1: bank account, and you place that bank account with a
Speaker 1: limit and say, I'll put the.
Speaker 3: Money in here. It's showing you though, bron, you know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying. That's what I would do.
Speaker 5: That that makes sense. I guess.
Speaker 2: My statement in the beginning is like Jackson rarely asks
Speaker 2: for anything, so if he does, say hey, mom, I
Speaker 2: really would like this or need that. Sometimes I'll be like,
Speaker 2: all right, cool, because maybe once a quarter if that,
Speaker 2: he'll ask for something, because I know he has its
Speaker 2: own stash and he'll purchase his own things. The grandparent
Speaker 2: component that she spoke about, that's something we struggle with
Speaker 2: as well too, because mom and dad living here in
Speaker 2: the house. I've already said this on previous podcasts that
Speaker 2: that can also be a detriment.
Speaker 5: Detriment as much as it is a help. Yes, so
Speaker 5: we've had to.
Speaker 2: Tell my parents time and time again, and sometimes I
Speaker 2: still don't listen. Put the kebash on this, We're not
Speaker 2: doing that, We're not eating this anymore, stop buying this
Speaker 2: for the house. And it's like an ongoing conversation. So
Speaker 2: they get their own space that y'all can go to
Speaker 2: grandma and Grandpa's house to be spoiled for the weekend,
Speaker 2: but then you come back home to the tight ship
Speaker 2: because ultimately, yeah, that's what reality is. Grandparents are supposed
Speaker 2: to be that little escape, but if they're also impeding
Speaker 2: the progress of you trying to instill values with money,
Speaker 2: then that's going to be a conversation you have to
Speaker 2: have with the grandparents. Too.
Speaker 5: They mean well, but sometimes it could be to a detriment.
Speaker 9: What's up with grandparents not raising these kids the same
Speaker 9: way they raised us.
Speaker 6: That's not their kids.
Speaker 1: So truth yeah, that's number one is it's not their kids.
Speaker 1: But that too is they raised us when they were younger.
Speaker 1: As you get older, you realize that I didn't have
Speaker 1: to do all of those things to my kids. So
Speaker 1: as you get older, you're like, I'm not doing the
Speaker 1: same thing to my kids. I'm into my grandkids that
Speaker 1: did to my kids. I send those things right right.
Speaker 3: It's just they're growing too.
Speaker 9: Yeah, I got to keep parenting. My mom raised my daughter.
Speaker 9: It's crazy we.
Speaker 5: Do this every conversation with.
Speaker 3: Her and me me bro, I'll just be stepping out because.
Speaker 2: I'm like, just because then what's going to happen when
Speaker 2: you raised a coddled ass man? Like you know what
Speaker 2: I'm saying, I'm looking at the future of what my
Speaker 2: children will be as men, and I know what a
Speaker 2: detriment it is to be coddled as a man or
Speaker 2: a woman. It's not even just a gender. It's probably
Speaker 2: the biggest turn off. Like you're raising no boys over here.
Speaker 2: We're not raising no fuck boys. So if we have
Speaker 2: certain rules and regulations that these boys need to follow,
Speaker 2: you can't undo them just because you live here.
Speaker 1: You know, life ain't fear. Life ain't fear. A coddle
Speaker 1: man is way worse than a coddle woman, because a
Speaker 1: coddled man, a physically big, strong, dominant man who doesn't
Speaker 1: know how to cook control his emotions, can be violent,
Speaker 1: and that can be a detriment to everything anybody. You
Speaker 1: can't be a coddle.
Speaker 3: Man, bro.
Speaker 1: And the truth is your mom and this is your
Speaker 1: mom says that these men, these men, you can't raise
Speaker 1: the same type of men you claim you hate by
Speaker 1: coddling your grandkids, right, you can't.
Speaker 5: That's been the conversation. That's been all right, good.
Speaker 2: Luck to y'all.
Speaker 5: And the fact that you said y'all will be dealing
Speaker 5: with this soon.
Speaker 2: I'm in my feelings the fact that I.
Speaker 1: Only have Jack gonna be in college, bro, soon, we
Speaker 1: got four years left in his house with him.
Speaker 4: He about to get this, about to be fifteen, He's
Speaker 4: about to be fifteen.
Speaker 2: That's like the form I was starting to count down,
Speaker 2: like that's formal Christmases for more spring breaks.
Speaker 4: Formre Valentine is flying by.
Speaker 6: Don't worry, cod, it looks just like him.
Speaker 2: Ye insane.
Speaker 4: All right, y'all.
Speaker 2: If you want to be featured as a listener letter
Speaker 2: on the show, email us at v Ellis Advice at
Speaker 2: gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: That's t h E E L L I S A
Speaker 1: d V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: All right, we're talking moments of truth? What you got
Speaker 2: for us today, Babe?
Speaker 3: Your kids are your responsibility. People.
Speaker 1: It's not the school's responsibility. It's not the church's responsibility.
Speaker 1: It's not the coach's responsibility. It's not your parents' responsibility.
Speaker 1: It's yours. So if you chose to lay down with
Speaker 1: somebody and have kids, enjoy the process of repeating yourself
Speaker 1: over and over and over again, because it's going to
Speaker 1: happen even when they're adults.
Speaker 3: Just enjoy and love it. They're yours.
Speaker 2: I've seen debate recently online with people, I guess in
Speaker 2: the Gen Z population, even some millennials saying that like,
Speaker 2: I never want to have a child. I don't want
Speaker 2: to have a child, and that's okay, But if you
Speaker 2: do want to have a child, ask yourself why, Like,
Speaker 2: what's the reason for having a child. Do you want
Speaker 2: a legacy. Do you want someone to raise It has
Speaker 2: to be more than well, I just want to see
Speaker 2: what a mini me would look like like. You have
Speaker 2: to literally invest time in your children because they will
Speaker 2: become an exact product of their environment.
Speaker 5: So really assess.
Speaker 2: Why you want to have children. If you want to
Speaker 2: have children, and if you don't, that's cool because you
Speaker 2: will be contributing to a society of boys and girls. Essentially,
Speaker 2: that's my moment truth.
Speaker 6: I got one fact check the facts that they're teaching
Speaker 6: your kids in school. Because of the heart of that,
Speaker 6: she had to hang facts.
Speaker 2: That's the facts learning.
Speaker 7: My moment of truth is now that my dad is dead,
Speaker 7: either Devout or Cairo is gonna have to step on.
Speaker 4: Because I still got some things I need to learn.
Speaker 5: C oh for sure.
Speaker 4: Exactly.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna look on the camera and I'm gonna see
Speaker 2: Triple pulling up cars like I got it. Me and
Speaker 2: her got a session.
Speaker 3: You will I know he don't walk out with his
Speaker 3: hands on his hips.
Speaker 11: Yeah yeah, Now we got you in the classic and
Speaker 11: notes by the way, right right behind man, what a
Speaker 11: little personality back to you us.
Speaker 8: Teaching doesn't end at three p m. It carries over.
Speaker 9: Uh, we're supposed to be constantly teaching these children how
Speaker 9: to be responsible children and ultimately responsible adults.
Speaker 2: Fact that part my children gonna have to interact with
Speaker 2: your kids maybe.
Speaker 8: And sponges man to pick up everything, every single thing.
Speaker 2: And we know about sponges got mad bacteria facts maybe
Speaker 2: smell you have to throw that ship out every month,
Speaker 2: check a sponge.
Speaker 8: And in between. I'm an advocate for boiling your sponge, like.
Speaker 2: Right after Yeah, just throw that ship out.
Speaker 8: Throw it out, you know in a week or so.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't have the sponge the mad bacteria.
Speaker 6: If you a sponge ful of water and.
Speaker 2: You're going to ring it out to move my father out,
Speaker 2: that's all smelling. It'd be like, what can you just
Speaker 2: ring ring out the sponge?
Speaker 3: Oh, your father be eving messed up sponges.
Speaker 2: Bro all the time, Bro, all the time. You gotta
Speaker 2: check him on that parenting your parents.
Speaker 8: With a fine toothed comb.
Speaker 2: If you want to know what Josh is talking about,
Speaker 2: you have to be a part of the After Show,
Speaker 2: which is a part of Patreon. So join us on
Speaker 2: Patreon for exclusive after show content, Ellis Family content, outtakes,
Speaker 2: and behind the scenes of the podcast, and you can
Speaker 2: find us on social media at Ellis ever After.
Speaker 5: I'm Kadeen, I am.
Speaker 10: I am Deval, I'm at Ellis photo dot com, and
Speaker 10: I'm a proxy of Airing Underscore mb and I'm at
Speaker 10: Trails The Cool t ri ib v Z The Cool
Speaker 10: on Everything all Right.
Speaker 3: And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate.
Speaker 5: Subscribe, and download Baby That.
Speaker 8: God.
Speaker 7: Ellis ever After is an iHeartMedia podcast. It's hosted by
Speaker 7: Kadeen and Deval Ellis. It's produced by Triple Video, production
Speaker 7: by Joshua Dwayne and Few Ellis, video editing by Laschan Broe.
Speaker 2: Giffing Ha
Speaker 1: Giffing has has