WEBVTT - Beyond The Classroom 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:05.080 If you really value what your children learn, you will 0:00:05.080 --> 0:00:07.520 continue teaching them after school. 0:00:09.039 --> 0:00:11.799 That's a whole fact because when you look at the 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:17.880 curriculum nowadays, now that you're awake, your eyes are open 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:20.360 to certain things. You're just like, damn, how long are 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:21.560 you going to continue these lives? 0:00:22.480 --> 0:00:24.799 Dead Ass just saying wow. 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:29.560 It all started with real talk, unfiltered, honest and straight 0:00:29.600 --> 0:00:31.600 from the heart. Since then, we've gone on to become 0:00:31.640 --> 0:00:35.080 Webby Award winning podcasters in New York Times bestselling authors. 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.639 Dead Ass was more than a podcast for us. It 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:40.879 was about our growth, a place where we could be vulnerable, be. 0:00:40.920 --> 0:00:43.960 Wraw or but most apportly be us. 0:00:44.000 --> 0:00:46.879 But as we know, life keeps evolving and so do we. 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:50.000 And through it all, one thing has never changed. 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:51.240 This is. 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:55.040 Because we got a lot to talk about. 0:00:56.440 --> 0:01:04.200 Story time. I'm going to take y'all back to October 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:10.080 two thousand and nine. We didn't even have any children yet. Oh, 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:15.320 we only had god children. And one of our godsons 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:21.600 was doing a story on Christopher Columbus and we were there, 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:26.720 you remember this, and he was like, Uncle Devo, do 0:01:26.800 --> 0:01:29.200 you know about Christopher Columbus? Because he was learning in school. 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:31.760 It was elementary school. I said, yes, do you know 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:35.319 about Christopher Columbus? He said yes, and he told me 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:37.760 the story about the Pilgrims and how they shared food 0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:38.640 the Indians and. 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:40.000 The Indians and all of these things. 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:42.080 And I said, you know what, Nick, you know what 0:01:42.120 --> 0:01:44.520 else Christopher Columbus did to the Indians. He was like 0:01:44.560 --> 0:01:48.800 what I said, he marked them? And you remember, Christina 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:52.880 was like Devo and I was just like, what he 0:01:53.000 --> 0:01:53.800 merked them? 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:57.400 He Christopher Columbus was not a nice guy that came. 0:01:57.240 --> 0:02:00.600 Over here to share food in that that knowledge and 0:02:00.640 --> 0:02:03.880 knowledge with the natives here in religion. 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:06.360 That's not what he came to do. And he was 0:02:06.400 --> 0:02:07.360 like he was like for real. 0:02:07.400 --> 0:02:09.880 And I was like, yeah, let's sit down and talk 0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:12.959 about it. 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:17.960 Oh my god, karaoke time. Yes, yes, this song came 0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:19.520 to mind when I thought about like the kids and 0:02:19.520 --> 0:02:20.960 stuff like that. And dev I was like, he's never 0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:22.520 heard this song before. And I don't know if you 0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:24.280 guys have never heard this song before, but it was 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:27.280 with Tevin Campbell, Quincy Jones. It was like a bunch 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:29.280 of kids singing. No one has ever seen a video 0:02:29.360 --> 0:02:33.639 called Tomorrow. You know what're talking about? Man, you do Okay, 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:36.760 so that's crazy. Oh yeah, you are a musician. That 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:39.639 is true. But it goes like it goes like this 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:44.880 tomorrow will bring a better you, a better me. I 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:49.960 know that wall. You know, well, we could be better. 0:02:50.000 --> 0:02:53.120 Get up, get out, get into it. I forget all 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:57.480 the words to it. 0:02:57.480 --> 0:02:59.079 It was very much like a chorus thing. 0:03:02.080 --> 0:03:06.520 Yeah yeah, and we have you now with the with 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:09.720 the we have everything. Make sure you get me me 0:03:10.520 --> 0:03:11.600 with the shower. 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:17.280 Cap the podcast me not say what's up? 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:29.639 That's what's up? Come say sorry to the podcast. Family, come. 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:43.600 Doing stuff like we need I know, so y'all see 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:45.560 what happens on ellis of a raptor. This is really 0:03:45.560 --> 0:03:47.840 a family environment because maybe gonna come down in the 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:48.920 middle of the podcast. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:52.160 You're really working the chicken salad you want to do 0:03:54.080 --> 0:03:55.800 with the shower ca but that goes to show ma 0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:56.480 me takes care of you. 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:58.240 We're gonna get my chicken salad. You know what I'm saying. 0:04:00.440 --> 0:04:02.400 But yeah, that was my song. You better get up, 0:04:02.400 --> 0:04:05.520 get out, get into it to be strong. 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:07.320 If we try, we will. 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:11.000 They made yes that choir. 0:04:11.160 --> 0:04:13.440 Yes, absolutely, it was a great song. 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:15.320 It was a great song. Kudos to you. 0:04:15.440 --> 0:04:17.520 It's a nice falsetto sounded just like the song talking 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:17.839 about it. 0:04:17.839 --> 0:04:18.960 Thank you, man, you know what I'm saying. 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:20.720 I love a false settle. Honey, I don't even know 0:04:20.760 --> 0:04:21.200 what that means. 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:27.200 But you know, hey, you know false You don't know, Oh, 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:30.720 I just know the song. 0:04:30.720 --> 0:04:33.320 There's a song called for settle is a false actor. 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:35.240 That's in the settle, like. 0:04:41.360 --> 0:04:45.480 A false there you so it's a false actor. 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:48.880 Okay, thank you. I'll be hitting it's a false settles. 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:53.200 Think about it, all right, y'all, let's take a quick back. 0:04:53.279 --> 0:04:58.920 We'll be back with op or no stick around. All right, 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:02.760 we're back. Paddles up everyone, what you got for us today? 0:05:02.800 --> 0:05:03.320 Trips? 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:04.440 Okay? 0:05:04.680 --> 0:05:08.760 I keep running across this kind of ridiculous story. 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:10.360 The algorithm. 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:19.800 Yeah, the timeline that a professional corn hole player who 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:27.920 is also a quadruple a quadruple amputee, has been charged 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:32.279 with murder in a Maryland in Maryland following a fatal 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:35.400 shooting during an argument inside a vehicles. 0:05:36.480 --> 0:05:40.159 That's what I've said. 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:45.440 He has no arms, no leg this is real, but 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:47.360 somehow he also played cornhole. 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:49.039 So like you can do a corn. 0:05:48.839 --> 0:05:50.279 Hole because all you got to do is put the 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:51.360 thing together. And throw it. 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:55.120 Okay, so like doing this, like how did he pull 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:57.919 the trigger and hit somebody? 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:01.760 Can't he murdered them? 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:03.600 What kind of are you? They got into? 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:04.920 What's your aim? Like, sir? 0:06:08.760 --> 0:06:11.840 The thing is they do say if someone is you know, 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:14.279 for example, don't have arms or legs, that their other 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:17.200 senses and like their sense of like I guess precision 0:06:17.240 --> 0:06:20.520 maybe with other things are like heightened sense. 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:34.920 The sense of precision. I know that. 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:36.800 But what I was saying is, Okay, yes you have 0:06:36.880 --> 0:06:40.560 heightened things, but I'm saying similarly to having heightened senses. 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:43.760 Maybe because he didn't have hands and feet, maybe. 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:46.200 That precision was like that, like it's heightened. 0:06:46.400 --> 0:06:50.400 But how did he pulled the trigger? Kadeen? You think 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:51.920 he had especially made because I. 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:56.120 Don't know what the weapon was made Arsenal Yeah, and 0:06:56.160 --> 0:07:00.400 then get this listen how. 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:04.839 I got no I'm gonna tell you why I got no. Op. 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:08.039 The world is extremely sensitive, yep. 0:07:08.120 --> 0:07:11.480 And I don't even know if you can say quadruple 0:07:11.480 --> 0:07:14.280 amputee without offending somebody, So I don't want to offend nobody. 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:16.360 So you know what I'm gonna do. Nohow. 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:22.360 But he's alleged murderer, so allegedly because you know what, allegedly, 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:24.800 but there was two other people in the car. 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:29.240 This is weird, crazy. You couldn't driving. 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:34.560 He was already was driving. I'm pretty sure he was driving. 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:37.640 It's it's all wrong. 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:44.160 You driving, you shoot somebody, and you cannot be two people. 0:07:44.320 --> 0:07:46.120 Two other people were in the car at the time. 0:07:47.240 --> 0:07:48.120 That's what I'm saying. 0:07:48.320 --> 0:07:49.880 Well, this is what happened. 0:07:49.960 --> 0:07:50.560 He was driving. 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:53.880 He was driving and killing some and killing somebody. 0:07:54.000 --> 0:07:56.760 And then after he killed the dude, he told the 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:59.600 two other people pulled over and told the two other 0:07:59.640 --> 0:08:02.720 passers to help him get the body out of the car, 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:06.360 and the other two passengers were like, nah, man, this 0:08:06.480 --> 0:08:08.320 is where we draw the line. And they got out 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:10.800 and called the police, and he kept driving and then 0:08:10.920 --> 0:08:12.040 dumped the body elsewhere. 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:14.320 He don't. 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:16.360 I don't. 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:17.440 It's got to be a movie. 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:19.920 It needs it's got to be a movie, because I 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:22.000 want to know how. I have questions and I don't 0:08:22.000 --> 0:08:22.960 know how to offend people. 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:25.880 But I got a lot of questions. I don't know 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:26.559 how to not offend. 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:29.960 I got a lot of questions, more questions than opinions. 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:33.120 Opinions. Yeah, I don't have no opinion. I want to 0:08:33.160 --> 0:08:36.520 know things. I got to see the play of how 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:37.760 I got to see the gun? 0:08:37.960 --> 0:08:42.760 Yeah, or maybe the gun. Maybe there's like a special apparatus, 0:08:43.440 --> 0:08:44.920 can attachment. 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:45.199 He could have had it. 0:08:45.520 --> 0:08:48.680 He could have had that because disabled people do exist, 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:49.360 that's what they say. 0:08:49.400 --> 0:08:53.360 You know, things are made for disabled people. So maybe. 0:08:57.080 --> 0:09:01.200 Hit him up, Josh, you going to hell. 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:02.360 I'm not going to know. 0:09:02.640 --> 0:09:04.520 I really do. Got a lot of questions because I 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:06.079 know what they was beefing about. 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:08.920 Yeah, where was the dude in the car for him 0:09:08.920 --> 0:09:10.800 to be driving and be like, you know what, I 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:11.920 can't take this ship no more. 0:09:12.720 --> 0:09:15.000 Yeah, and everybody was so like scared of him that 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:16.560 there was like, yo, he shot home where I'm not 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:19.160 going to be accomplics like I'm like. 0:09:21.240 --> 0:09:23.600 Anything. They just got out because. 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:24.280 They probably was shook. 0:09:24.400 --> 0:09:26.080 Yeah, I don't know. 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:29.600 Maybe it was like that scene on pulp fiction when 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:33.000 this don't sound John Travalta accidentally shot the dude in 0:09:33.000 --> 0:09:34.240 the backseat. 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:35.599 He just turned around like this. 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:39.800 We're going to wake up tomorrow and find out that 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:42.400 all of this was ai and someone put this on 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:47.000 threads and now it's a conversation that could I'm telling 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:51.200 you there's no way a quadruple amputee while driving shot 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:53.800 somebody and then got rid of the body without being. 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:57.840 Okay, okay, here's something that we haven't thought of. 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:02.960 Maybe he's a quadruple amputy, but maybe he wears prosthetics, right, 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:04.080 that could be. 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:07.760 Yeah, you can have prosthetics, but you can't there's no 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:08.880 control over the process. 0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:11.520 They have prosthetics now, Yeah, how. 0:10:11.480 --> 0:10:12.800 They're gonna do that if he has no. 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:15.760 You can het nubs though, don't because the guy I 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:18.199 saw with the the corn hole had nubs. 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:20.120 He didn't have the hand. I know what you're talking. 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:21.920 We're talking about the hands that work. Yeah, the brain. 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:23.720 The guy I saw didn't have the hands. 0:10:23.800 --> 0:10:26.199 He for the special Olympics. 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:30.200 You can't use prosthetics probably, but for life, for life, 0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:30.960 maybe he does. 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:32.600 I'm just trying to think. If you have how do 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:36.000 you control the prospect other than just being with the brain. 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:38.400 Yeah, you have nerves still they have they make it work. 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:40.120 Yeah, Okay, I don't know. 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:42.720 I've seen I've seen some new technology where they put 0:10:42.840 --> 0:10:46.760 new prosthetics on like war vets and now the hand 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:50.040 can move like this and connection. 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.280 Yeah, okay, I got the video. 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:54.240 You got video. 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.079 I got a video of him loaded. He loaded the gun, 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.559 loading a gun four times? 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:03.920 Wow, I'm looking at he is he? 0:11:04.200 --> 0:11:06.800 So it's not enough. It's numb with fingers. It's a 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:08.760 number fingers he got. 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:12.320 So, like I said, you could take fingerprints and be like, 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:12.760 is it him? 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:14.840 It's definitely him. 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:16.600 I don't know if his fingers. 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:17.920 No, it's not. 0:11:18.640 --> 0:11:19.640 Enough to pull the trigger. 0:11:22.960 --> 0:11:26.920 Oh, son is nice though, Yeah, he's Jason born with 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:27.640 no arms. 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:33.360 Wow, Josh, I'm not doing this with you. 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:38.520 He's a murderer. 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:42.560 Have feelings, and you shouldn't offend murder. 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:43.360 Can we cut this? 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:46.640 I just didn't know that. I didn't see in the 0:11:46.720 --> 0:11:47.440 video now. 0:11:47.440 --> 0:11:48.840 Right that that was possible. 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:50.800 I didn't know it was possible either. 0:11:50.840 --> 0:11:54.920 And I'm I've just been shocked and I needed to 0:11:54.960 --> 0:11:55.560 talk about it. 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:59.120 But seeing this now it makes sense. Yeah, this makes sense. 0:11:59.120 --> 0:12:03.240 When he is nice, he busting shots, he's going too. 0:12:03.440 --> 0:12:05.720 So then then you my thing is talking. Nobody to 0:12:05.760 --> 0:12:06.640 call you to stop him? 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:06.760 Bro? 0:12:06.840 --> 0:12:12.280 Like I know it's scared. Yeah, he nice the cornhole too, Yeah, 0:12:12.320 --> 0:12:13.439 and apparently shooting. 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:15.120 Yeah, your marks. 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:16.400 Fucked up right now? 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:18.480 Well, Jesus Christ something every day? 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:22.160 Yeah, another thing I saw on dreds Is. 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:26.520 A man was asking on threads for adult women who 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:28.760 had their fathers in their lives from very young, how 0:12:28.800 --> 0:12:30.400 did your father punish you? 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:31.760 Because he's wondering. 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:35.240 He's a big guy, he's six seven and he has 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:37.160 a daughter and he's like, I don't want to put 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:37.920 my hands on her. 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:44.679 But my dad didn't. I didn't get punished. I mean 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.240 he put I was on punishment like twice in my life. 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:49.319 This is going to lead to a bigger problem. Watch 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:52.040 because what you just said is what I saw this. 0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:55.320 My dad didn't punish my sister. See how that turns 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:58.040 out like something my dad in the discipline too. 0:12:58.400 --> 0:13:01.719 My dad didn't punish me, but my mother would lay 0:13:01.720 --> 0:13:02.040 into me. 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:04.840 So me was no joke. 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:07.440 I think it's a differring thing that happens again. 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:09.360 Like, okay, now we're speaking about two parent household because 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:11.719 were spoken about this in a previous episode. But when 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:14.280 you have, for example, the dad in the house and 0:13:14.320 --> 0:13:16.480 the mom, if the dad doesn't want to be that 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:19.760 physical presence that's intimidating and the daughter potentially can fair, 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:22.199 then you defer to the mom. 0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:26.240 Did that affect how you take criticism from men and 0:13:26.320 --> 0:13:28.040 women I think. 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.480 I just took criticism in general not in the best 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:35.160 way because I wasn't used to it, particularly from my dad. 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:36.920 My dad is you know, you know, it's easy going, 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:39.640 so you know, hearing it from the man when yeah, 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:41.600 I guess you're right, Matt. When when I not think 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:44.040 about it, when time came for Devo to give me, 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:46.480 you know, his feelings or critiquese some things that I did, 0:13:46.960 --> 0:13:49.480 I took offense to it. Very early on. I got 0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:53.040 offended because I'm like, you know, yeah, no one really 0:13:53.040 --> 0:13:55.440 held me accountable in that department, and for me, it 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:56.199 was like my mom. 0:13:56.679 --> 0:14:00.199 Yeah, so I don't have any daughters, But I did 0:14:00.200 --> 0:14:03.520 tell okay this that I think it's important that dad's 0:14:03.600 --> 0:14:07.440 discipline their daughters, but discipline them with love, Like you 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:10.360 don't have to physically assault your daughter to discipline them, so. 0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:11.680 You don't got to put hands on them. 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:13.880 That also doesn't mean that you just let them do 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:17.080 everything and leave it up to the mind, don't you 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:17.720 know what I'm saying? 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:20.680 Like, I don't agree with that spirit a rod and 0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:21.360 spoil the child. 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:21.920 I agree. 0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:24.400 Literally, how do you work with uh toy because you 0:14:24.440 --> 0:14:26.080 have a daughter, yeah, the only child? 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:30.840 Yeah, yeah, she don't get no beings, man, anybody anybody 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:39.560 touching Tori. She's feeling without touching her. Punishments withholding things, 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:43.480 you know, groundings, stuff like that, I mean, really affects 0:14:43.520 --> 0:14:46.920 her her performance when she does something wrong. And then 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:50.080 in conversations it's really talking about like what you're supposed 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:52.840 to do, what you're not supposed to do, and holding 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:54.280 her accountable for her actions. 0:14:54.440 --> 0:14:55.760 That's what I'm going to ask you. Do you hold 0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:56.400 her accountable? 0:14:57.200 --> 0:14:57.680 Because you don't. 0:14:57.760 --> 0:15:00.760 If you don't hold anybody accountable, nothing change, just not 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:02.440 doing the same thing, especially with the child. 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:05.320 She's so impressionable like you. 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:07.760 For us, we just have to keep talking to her, 0:15:07.880 --> 0:15:10.560 keep telling her over and over and over, and you realize, 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:12.840 like after a while, you see the fruits of your labor, 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:17.000 like small things change to right to where she's like, well, 0:15:17.080 --> 0:15:19.560 now you're doing it, or she'll correct you, and she'll 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:22.360 she'll notice the things that you're that you're doing that 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:26.680 yeah wrong. So it's you know, hitting her or anything 0:15:26.720 --> 0:15:28.400 like that is a no no for me personally. 0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:29.640 I don't want to hit her. 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:33.480 You know. It's funny I realized as a parent because 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:35.600 I kind of reflected to my mom saying the same thing, 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:39.440 like how many times do I have to say. 0:15:38.440 --> 0:15:39.720 This over and over? 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:41.440 I say the same things over and over again, and 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:44.040 I'm like, that's just parenthood, Like these kids are never 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:45.760 going to get it on the first go round, the second, 0:15:45.800 --> 0:15:49.040 the third, or the fourth. It's just the continuous conversation 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:52.200 to the point where it becomes muscle memory and then 0:15:52.480 --> 0:15:52.960 the norm. 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:53.720 Yeah. 0:15:53.800 --> 0:15:57.040 I do think that it's important though, when we raise 0:15:57.040 --> 0:15:59.120 our daughters and our sons, because Kadeena and I have 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:00.840 seen this with both of our families. 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:04.840 When a little girl falls, the way people. 0:16:04.560 --> 0:16:06.840 Respond is very different than when the little boy falls, 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:09.160 and a lot of times the same way this young 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:12.240 man asks question, how do I raise or discipline my daughter? 0:16:12.560 --> 0:16:15.760 A lot of men don't know how to discipline their 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:18.800 daughter without being physically abusive, because it's easy when you 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:21.920 have a son to hit him right, Like a little 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:22.560 girl falls. 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:24.720 The first thing you hear me said, oh who trip you? 0:16:24.720 --> 0:16:25.280 Who pushed you? 0:16:25.320 --> 0:16:29.400 It's almost like that whatever happened, it wasn't your fault. 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:31.880 Whatever happened, Let me fix whatever happened. And a lot 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:34.320 of young women who are raised like that grow up 0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:37.440 believing that everything that happens to them is never their fault. 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:40.600 You know what, I'm saying the same thing, And I 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:43.200 think it's important for men to realize that if you 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:44.080 don't want to raise the. 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:45.800 Type of woman the same way we tell women, if 0:16:45.800 --> 0:16:47.280 you don't want to raise the type of man that 0:16:47.360 --> 0:16:49.840 you hate, you got to raise the type of young 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:51.560 lady that you don't want to grow up and look 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:53.000 at her and say I hate the way she is. 0:16:53.040 --> 0:16:55.560 You can't just let her do anything, and it doesn't. 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:57.160 Have to be with force, like a lot of it 0:16:57.200 --> 0:17:02.200 is just accountability conversations. You cannot do that now, you know. Okay, 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:04.440 you're gonna cry because you can't do something that's a you. 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:07.960 Problems we are, you know, Like I really believe that. 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:11.440 I learned that with my track girls. I had eight 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:13.840 track girls that I trained for three years at midwould 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:16.479 love those girls. One of them was my cousin Alicia. 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:19.679 Shout out to my cousin Alicia. But all of those 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:23.840 young ladies were raised with extreme discipline from their parents. 0:17:24.800 --> 0:17:28.120 Two of them came from single parent homes. Remember Max, Max, 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:30.720 don't play no games. But all of these young women 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.359 were raised yes, sir, no, sir, Yes, ma'am. 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:33.960 No, ma'am. 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:36.800 And they weren't physically assaulted, you know what I'm saying. 0:17:36.840 --> 0:17:39.320 Like they were just taught discipline. They used sports a lot. 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:41.760 Me and Josh talk about that when you have a daughter, 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:44.159 it's okay to get your daughter in sports, you know, 0:17:44.240 --> 0:17:46.439 put her in track, Let her be challenged, let her 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:48.199 see how hard it is to do things, you know, 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:51.240 and let her learn what teamwork means, you know. So 0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:52.920 that's what I would do if I had a daughter, 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:54.520 first thing I'd do is put her in sports. 0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:58.320 Yeah, looking back as a woman now thinking about me 0:17:58.359 --> 0:18:01.440 as a child, that I think both men and women 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:04.520 need to be held accountable for, or boys and girls. 0:18:04.640 --> 0:18:07.040 Is accountability. That's like a person thing. It's not a 0:18:07.040 --> 0:18:08.680 man or a woman thing, a boy or a girl thing. 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:11.440 Like everybody needs to be accountable for their actions. And 0:18:11.480 --> 0:18:14.520 as a girl growing up, I can see how things 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:16.720 can be off put onto other people where you don't 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:19.600 assume responsibility because you feel like all these things have 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:22.960 happened around me and not to me, so I'm not responsible. 0:18:23.320 --> 0:18:25.360 So when I realized that I had to take accountability 0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:26.960 for certain things in my life, that was a rude 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:29.600 awakening for me being in a relationship with you, or 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:32.520 just like looking at myself in the workforce, or like 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:35.440 wanting to accomplish things in life. It's like, girl, stop 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:37.359 blaming everybody else for the things that are not happening 0:18:37.400 --> 0:18:37.960 in your life. 0:18:38.119 --> 0:18:38.879 Chances are as you. 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:41.760 I'm glad you said that, though, because also it's not 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:43.359 that little girl's fault. You know who's fault. 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:46.560 It is that she's like that society, all the people 0:18:46.640 --> 0:18:48.720 around who just tell you it's okay to get away 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.800 with things. And now when she's an adult, you say 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:53.680 you don't know how to take accountability. Well, the people 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:57.080 responsible for teaching her the accountability didn't teach it to her, 0:18:57.480 --> 0:18:58.200 you know what I'm saying. 0:18:58.200 --> 0:18:59.520 So in a lot of ways, we have to look 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:02.000 at ourselves that as a society and say we just 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:03.840 have to do a better job. You don't got to 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:05.800