WEBVTT - Daytime Dreams with Sherri Shepherd 0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:14.520 Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoued, and we're the Ellis's. 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:17.680 You may know us from posting funny videos. 0:00:17.280 --> 0:00:20.720 With our boys and reading each other publicly as a 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:21.639 form of therapy. 0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:25.560 Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow? 0:00:25.800 --> 0:00:28.280 Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married. 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:31.240 Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:34.159 dialogue about some of li's most taboo topics. 0:00:33.800 --> 0:00:36.680 Things most folks don't want to talk about. 0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:38.800 Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass 0:00:38.880 --> 0:00:40.919 is a term that we say every day. So when 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:44.760 we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:46.680 the truth, the whole truth. 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:47.760 And nothing but the truth. 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:50.480 We about to take philosof to our whole new level. 0:00:52.640 --> 0:00:58.680 Dead ass starts right now, all right, Sherry, Yes, yes, this? 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:01.880 How does this feel to be in the opposite chair? 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:02.040 Right? 0:01:02.080 --> 0:01:04.800 Normally you're the host, you're asking the questions. How often 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:06.440 do you sit down for an interview with someone? 0:01:06.760 --> 0:01:09.480 I don't really, So this is actually fun for me. 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:13.440 It's giving exclusive, it's giving exclusive, and it's fun because 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:13.759 I don't. 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:15.800 I'm not under any pressure. 0:01:16.000 --> 0:01:18.840 I'm not under any pressure to say, Oh, Kadeen wants 0:01:18.880 --> 0:01:21.880 to promote something. Oh, I can't ask Kadeen this. Oh 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:25.000 my gosh, I don't want to upset her. Like I 0:01:25.040 --> 0:01:28.080 don't have to think about nothing you. 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:30.920 Oh my god, the pressure somebody has turned on the air. 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:35.080 But yeah, what's so funny. Initially coming into this, first 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:37.160 of all, thank you for sitting with me. You can 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:39.240 be doing a million other things right now. It's still 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:41.119 the summertime in New York. My kids are back in school, 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:43.000 but I know Jeffrey's not so Jeffer's. 0:01:42.959 --> 0:01:43.600 At his mom. 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:49.080 However, I'm in a moment where coming here, initially I 0:01:49.080 --> 0:01:50.920 felt some butterflies. I was like, oh my god, Sherry, 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:52.800 I have to sit and interview Shery like I'm doing 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:55.480 like this is my dream job and I'm about to 0:01:55.520 --> 0:01:59.520 interview someone who is literally living my right. And then 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:01.440 as I got closer to the studio and once I 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:04.760 got here, I felt a sense of calm, and that 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:07.360 for me was just kind of confirmation or affirmation that 0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:08.880 I'm where I'm supposed to be. 0:02:09.080 --> 0:02:13.880 Yes, which is too to whatever that thing is, that 0:02:14.080 --> 0:02:16.440 dream and how God is going to anoint it. Because 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.920 we're spiritual people. Sure we talk deep spiritual, but sure. 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:22.920 It's like when you say you could be doing anything, No, 0:02:23.160 --> 0:02:27.280 I'm supposed to be doing this with you, because, as 0:02:27.280 --> 0:02:30.440 I tell everybody on my team, the blessings that I 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:33.760 get are not only for me. Everybody is supposed to 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:37.200 eat off that blessing. So when your husband called and 0:02:37.240 --> 0:02:39.720 said my wife is I was like, I don't care what. Yes, 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:41.959 we need you to fly with whatever. 0:02:41.960 --> 0:02:45.480 God bless him, your husband when I tell you he loved. 0:02:47.280 --> 0:02:54.400 You, and I love that because I remember you said 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:57.200 when we were talking that this is your dream to 0:02:57.320 --> 0:03:00.959 have a talk show. So whatever I can do to 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:05.600 help in whatever part I can play, or however God 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:08.639 wants to use me to assist, then that's what I'm 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:11.680 going to do. So it's not no, there were things, 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:14.160 but I was supposed to be here, Like I didn't 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:16.720 care how it was happening. When they said I had 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:18.919 to fly out, I was like, however, I got, we 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:19.519 gotta do this. 0:03:19.840 --> 0:03:22.079 Yeah, Sherion was a plan to Chicago for me. 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:26.080 Okay, don't even care. Listen like you're walking in your purpose. 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:29.520 Indeed I received that, and I so see it deeply. 0:03:30.280 --> 0:03:34.360 You you have given up so much to highlight your husband. 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:39.360 You've given up so much to raise these three princes. Lord, 0:03:39.400 --> 0:03:42.800 I forgot you track, and so I can't can track 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:45.680 with your belly because you get the belly, you lose 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:49.720 it so fast. I'll be losing track of the kids. 0:03:49.920 --> 0:03:50.480 But it's like you. 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:55.400 You were raising these little princes to become kings, and 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:58.640 you were fulfilling the first assignment. So God is gonna 0:03:58.640 --> 0:04:01.400 bless you on this journe and I would love to 0:04:01.440 --> 0:04:03.840 be a part of your blessing because your seeds that 0:04:03.960 --> 0:04:06.640 you've been planning, that's like investing in stocks. And I 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:09.640 do want to you because this is gonna benefit me too. 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:13.240 I received that shry that's so true, and I didn't 0:04:13.240 --> 0:04:15.880 even think of it that way. But you're absolutely right, Deval, 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:18.240 and I always say it. Even on our podcast Dead Ass, 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:22.480 we say all everything that we've accumulated is not for us. 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:25.480 It's part of a bigger picture. We're blessed in abundance 0:04:25.520 --> 0:04:29.160 because we are on God's assignment to bless other people. 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:30.920 And you have. That's how I found out about you. 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:34.640 I was scrolling on Instagram and I saw a Dead 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:38.120 Ass and y'all were talking about something about a like 0:04:38.240 --> 0:04:40.600 every every time you do the podcast is something. It's 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:44.160 like amazing, But it was about relationships and trust and 0:04:44.640 --> 0:04:45.719 I couldn't look away. 0:04:46.000 --> 0:04:47.480 And that's when I started following both of you. 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:49.719 I didn't even know you. I hadn't even watched Devel 0:04:49.839 --> 0:04:53.040 on TV. It was through dead Asso and it's so 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.880 I just believe God blesses exponentially. 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:57.920 It's never supposed to be like about y'all. 0:04:58.080 --> 0:05:01.280 It's who you're touching. God can't use you if you're 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:02.520 not gonna be touching other people. 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:05.320 That's when I realized what my purpose was, Sherry, because 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:06.880 for so long I would think about it. I'm like, 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:08.600 what's my purpose? Like why am I here other than 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:12.000 being a wife and mom? And to your point, having 0:05:12.080 --> 0:05:15.760 dead Ass as a platform where we just share unapologetically 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:19.040 about so many things. I'm just hoping that it resonates 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:21.200 with someone when people stop us on the street now 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:24.560 and they say, you saved my marriage single, Yeah me, 0:05:25.200 --> 0:05:27.680 you taught me how to talk to my partner. I 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:29.920 didn't agree with what you said then, but it makes 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:32.520 sense now. That's when I feel like, Wow, I'm really 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:34.200 really fulfilling God's purpose for me. 0:05:34.760 --> 0:05:38.080 So in that darling she reisonated with me, I don't 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:41.000 even want to get married. I was like, I gotta 0:05:41.000 --> 0:05:45.000 find a husband. But it showed me, like every time 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:48.240 y'all talk, it shows me what a marriage should be 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:53.640 looking like, honest, authentic, you know about trust, about God, about. 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:54.040 Like I don't know. 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:57.159 For some reason, the way you and Deval talk even 0:05:57.200 --> 0:06:00.240 about putting each other first, yes, because you can't take 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:02.960 care of the family if y'all en, It just resonated 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:04.000 with me. So true. 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:06.480 And this is a service based industry. If you not 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:09.120 prepared to serve, baby, this is not for you. And 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:10.760 that's usually what I tell people. And as soon as 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:12.680 you realize that which side of the industry you're on, 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:14.000 you'll be a happier person. 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:15.720 Girl. Sure see, I already got. 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:17.360 It out blessing me. 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:20.239 I mean you know, I know you did it twice. 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:22.000 It's three times a trying real quick. While we're on 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:24.000 the topic, not right now now. 0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:26.560 I will never say never, because I literally I'm a 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:29.440 believer in marriage. Okay, I believe in the benefits of marriage. 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:30.800 I'm not one of those people I'm in love with 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:35.680 being married. I think marriage is so God said, if 0:06:35.720 --> 0:06:38.160 you are with the right person, And I think that 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:40.920 a lot of people. Sometimes they rush into the pomp 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:44.560 and the circumstance instead of really really vetting out the 0:06:44.680 --> 0:06:47.840 person and going, is this gonna fit me? Or am 0:06:47.880 --> 0:06:50.320 I willing to serve? Am I willing to Am I 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:52.680 willing to lay down things that I think for. 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.480 The better good of the collection of the collective? 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.400 And so I don't think that I was there, and 0:06:58.520 --> 0:06:58.960 I want to. 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:02.760 Take time to just wait. I don't want because I 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:06.160 rushed into marriage because I was like, oh, I can't 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:08.880 be in sin. I can't the Bible say it's better 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:10.960 to be married than lust. I don't even remember the 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:13.880 spel description was. And so I got married for the 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:17.360 wrong reasons. And I'm not blaming the other person. It 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:18.800 was the choices that I made. 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:20.560 Did you have like a timeline in your head of 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:23.160 like this is where my life should be yes time? 0:07:23.440 --> 0:07:26.200 I thought that at the time I got married, I 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:28.920 was forty three, which is not that it's not okay, So. 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:30.800 You weren't like I'm in my twenties and you know, 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:32.440 I want to be thirties. I want to be damaged 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:32.960 goods like they. 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:34.480 Like to say, Well, I never thought I was want 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:35.160 to be damaged goods. 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:36.200 But I thought I was getting older. 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:38.200 I was like, I'm forty three and I'm getting old, 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:40.320 and who's going to want to get married to me? 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:40.560 Who? 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:42.720 All of that stuff? And it's so funny because now 0:07:42.720 --> 0:07:43.560 I'm fifty seven. 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:44.320 And I'm like, I'm fine. 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:47.080 I can't even believe I thought that right forty three. 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:50.320 At fifty seven, I'm like, I'm a great catch. Somebody's 0:07:50.360 --> 0:07:53.080 going to find this person. And until they do, I'm 0:07:53.160 --> 0:07:55.160 going to be moving and doing what I need to do, 0:07:55.520 --> 0:07:56.160 what God. 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:56.800 Has called me to do. 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:59.960 And I remember a pastor said he's going to interrupt 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:03.680 what you're doing. So until I get interrupted, I'm not 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:04.640 thinking about marriage. 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:06.720 But I do believe I will never. 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:09.520 Say I won't get married. But at this time, I'm 0:08:09.560 --> 0:08:13.239 not looking for marriage because, first of all, kadeem my mouth, 0:08:14.120 --> 0:08:15.440 I didn't found my voice. 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:17.440 And sometimes and there's a thing. 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:23.760 Of being a boss here that doesn't transfer over sometimes 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:28.200 when you take that same energyhip into a relationship, and 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:31.000 I have experienced that, and so I know, and so 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:35.840 it's that pulling back that sometimes I have a hard 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:36.400 time doing. 0:08:36.679 --> 0:08:39.040 Do you feel like you were forced into a boss position? 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:40.640 Because I know some women who feel like, you know, 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:42.439 I just had to take charge of my life and 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:44.840 my career. So I was forced to be that boss. 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:47.360 But did you feel like that was your story to 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:48.920 be forced into it, so therefore you don't know how 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:50.079 to turn it off in a relationship. 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:51.600 Yeah, I would have to say I was forced into 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:54.360 being a boss because number one, being a single mom 0:08:54.600 --> 0:08:57.599 and having a son with special needs. I've had to 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:00.319 be a boss to advocate for him because he's a 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:03.440 young black boy. So a lot of times people will 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:05.240 say things to me and I don't have to say 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:09.920 no with this voice that doesn't work for us, or no, you're. 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:11.640 Not going to put my my son. 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:14.920 I wanted him to attend a certain school and they 0:09:15.000 --> 0:09:19.640 said to me, his IQ will not allow him to attend, 0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:21.600 like we could put him in a great gym class. 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:23.800 That was so insulting to me, and I had to 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:24.679 deepen my voice. 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:26.320 Do Chicago and. 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:26.760 Me want to. 0:09:28.640 --> 0:09:29.080 Understand? 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:31.600 But I had to say uh uh, and I will 0:09:31.720 --> 0:09:34.400 report you and what you just said. And so I've 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:37.400 had to be the boss in those situations. And then 0:09:37.960 --> 0:09:40.559 taking on a talk show with my name on it, 0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:44.160 I get the glory and I get the the if 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:47.559 it fails. They don't say, oh, that producer, that the 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:50.280 booker of the show. They say, Sherry. So I've had 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:54.680 to take on a leadership role because I'm the boss 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:58.760 and you know, I'm always working and being a singular 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:01.280 talk show host, which is what you will experience because 0:10:01.280 --> 0:10:04.120 you don't need nobody else could date being a singular 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:06.599 talk show host, you have to take on all of that. 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:10.040 You don't get to leave it at the job. It 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:13.800 always is with you. If somebody falls out, a guess 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:16.800 at the last minute, if something happens with one of 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:20.160 the producers, if somebody has to be let go, if 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:23.000 some I've had to talk to employees and take on 0:10:23.080 --> 0:10:23.600 that voice. 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:28.000 So sometimes you know, I bring it with me. 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:31.400 And this voice stays. It's not the not that you 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:31.920 have to You. 0:10:31.920 --> 0:10:35.160 Don't have to dumb anything down. But that's the feminine. 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:38.079 Part of Sherry, the soft part of Sherry. I keep 0:10:38.200 --> 0:10:41.000 forgetting like that this the soft part. 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:42.080 So is there part of. 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:46.000 Shary now that yearns for the term everyone's using now? 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:48.120 Is that soft life? That soft girl era? 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.800 Sometimes? But I guess it's so funny. I went out 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:53.320 with somebody. 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:58.319 It was very interesting. He was very very rich, he 0:10:58.440 --> 0:11:02.240 was very very well he's very well known, very well 0:11:03.920 --> 0:11:07.559 and it was so funny because he was like, he said, so, 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:09.040 what have you been doing today? I was like, I've 0:11:09.040 --> 0:11:11.559 been investing in stocks and you know, in Vignia and 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:14.000 then we bought uh some shares of this and I'm 0:11:14.040 --> 0:11:17.680 doing this and I'm doing and immediately I could see. 0:11:17.800 --> 0:11:19.280 I was like, where am I losing him? 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:22.920 Where am I losing my god? 0:11:23.160 --> 0:11:24.960 So when you say losing him, did you see kind 0:11:25.000 --> 0:11:26.679 of like that light taking away from his eye like 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:29.160 this might not be it like it was too. 0:11:29.120 --> 0:11:29.960 Much for him? 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:31.040 Because I was it was. 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:34.160 I was just very confident because I was like, you're powerful. 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.840 I've got some power, so let's talk. 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:37.240 In this thing. 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:39.719 But I could see no, he was looking That's not 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:41.520 what he was looking for. He wanted to feminine. 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:44.040 So we ended up watching like a movie and I 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:46.680 would laugh and I was like, oh and it came 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:49.880 back and I said, dig cheer. You got to figure out. 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:52.480 How to how to navigate this thing, you know. 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:54.319 Or he wanted to show. I think he showed me 0:11:54.520 --> 0:11:57.280 something and I was like, oh, I don't know if. 0:11:57.160 --> 0:11:58.800 It was his car or something like that. 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:01.240 I really messed up. He showed me his car, and 0:12:01.320 --> 0:12:02.719 I was like, oh, yeah, I used to have that. 0:12:02.880 --> 0:12:06.160 I bought that too, So this becomes almost like a competition. 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:08.800 I wasn't meaning for it. I just was like, but 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:13.079 I got it. As related. We're on the same miss level. 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:14.719 I get that. And at some point I was like, 0:12:14.960 --> 0:12:17.719 he need he needn't want that. He needs somebody who 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:20.880 needs him. And I don't mean to say that that's 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:24.600 a bad thing, you understand it, but sometimes men need 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:27.640 to feel needed. And I guess I was giving off 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:29.360 the energy that I got it. 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:32.360 I got it right, and you had it and you 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:35.559 got it, and you have played differently now that you 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:37.160 know that. Would you have been a little bit or 0:12:37.240 --> 0:12:39.680 as they said demure, I would have been. 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:41.839 More like, oh my gosh, that's yeah. I would have 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:44.080 been like, that's I love the car, that's a beautiful 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:45.480 I don't know if I would have mentioned that I 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:48.160 had one, right, but I was. I was doing it 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:49.520 like I was talking to my girlfriend, girl, I had 0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:50.880 one of them, and you know what the engine, don't 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:53.120 you got to take in and get a service. I 0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:56.200 was level to relate on right. Yes, So I probably 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:58.040 would have said that's a that's a great car, and 0:12:58.160 --> 0:12:59.319 him going, what did you do today? 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:00.280 It probably would. 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:04.120 I would have saved the other stuff for you when 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:05.880 we're talking, yeah, I would have softened. 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.040 So here you are still learning, like you know. 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:10.320 Fifty seven? 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:11.959 What tell me? 0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:12.319 Baby? 0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:19.360 So you're proof that we're always learning or always growing. 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:23.319 There's always something new. But take me back to little 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:29.120 girl Cherry, one of three girls, right, correct? Yes, mom 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:32.800 and dad at home. You were raised Jehovah's witness all 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.200 that good stuff. So tell me about little Sherry. Did 0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:38.240 little Sherry foresee this for Sherry today? 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:42.920 It's not that I foresaw because little Sherry was very shy. 0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:48.679 She always I was. I was like so shy, I 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:50.679 couldn't even my mother told me one time we were 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:53.800 at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses and she said, 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:56.480 I'm going to do something. Don't let anybody sit in 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:58.959 these seats. And somebody came and sat down, and I 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:03.000 was so scared to speak up. And my younger sister, 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:04.719 who now still gets in trouble because of mine, she 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:07.440 was like, oh, my Mama said, you can't see here. 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:09.880 So she had the voice. She had the voice, and 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:14.360 like I didn't speak up. I was very shy. 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:16.720 But I always made people laugh. 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:20.440 Like in my family, everybody's funny, but I always made 0:14:20.480 --> 0:14:23.480 people laugh. So when you find that voice, I found 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:27.760 that voice when I co hosted the View, no Way, 0:14:27.960 --> 0:14:31.200 because I got made fun of so much for not 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:34.240 knowing what I was talking about. I went through a 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:37.560 perre where black women hated me because I made so many, 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:41.520 you know, errors on TV because as a Jehovah's witness, 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:44.440 we didn't vote. And I got on the View when 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:47.280 Barack Obama was run. I don't know nothing about politics. 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.480 I was a stand up comic. Barbara Walters wanted me 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:54.600 to do more serious stuff. I had everything that I 0:14:54.800 --> 0:14:57.440 was scared to do. I had to do. I was 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:00.640 raised not to talk to your elders, talk bad. I 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:02.960 was raised by my father and mother. You don't don't 0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:04.640 look me in the eye. You when I'm talking to you, 0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:06.720 you look at the floor. So it's very hard for 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:09.040 me to look somebody in the eye. I was raised 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:13.320 not to debate everything. I was raised you speak up. 0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:16.840 I'm sitting at the table with Whoopy gold Bird, Joy Bahar, 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:23.160 Barbara Walters, Elizabeth Hasseback and to find airspace was so 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:26.520 hard for me. And then they were talking about politics. 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:27.320 I didn't know. 0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:28.400 It felt like a fish out of water. 0:15:28.400 --> 0:15:29.600 I felt like a fish out of water, and I 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:32.280 made so many mistakes. But that's why I grew. 0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:34.680 How did you prep for that? Because I know politics 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:35.720 is something that well, I mean. 0:15:35.960 --> 0:15:37.880 I love talking politics, so now you love it? Are 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:39.680 there are talking about politics? Twenty four seven? 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:40.960 You know? So it was it like you go home, 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:42.480 I have to do homework. Did you have to find 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:45.480 an angle? Like you have to prepare for that environment? 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:46.440 You know? 0:15:46.600 --> 0:15:49.760 I had to realize with politics instead of overthinking it 0:15:49.920 --> 0:15:52.880 and taking on like this great big whyew delegates and 0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:56.040 executive branch and judicial branch? How is it affecting you 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:59.480 and your son the policies as a mother. And then 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:02.280 I ranched out from there and it was really falling 0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:06.200 and having somebody like Bill Maher you know, talk about 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:09.040 me on the air, or Bill O'Reilly talk about me 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:12.840 on the air, Charlemagne even on the Breakfast Club talked 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:16.560 about me badly. It was being hurt so much that 0:16:16.680 --> 0:16:19.000 I said, here, you gotta start reading. Barbara Walter's even said, 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:23.040 since me, she goes read a book, deer. I was like, 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:25.240 I did, have you read he read The Coldest Winter 0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:29.080 the Cold wrote a book recently too. 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:31.920 You should be coming out this month or next month. 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:35.160 I forget, I don't know, but Sister Soldiers, baby, I 0:16:35.240 --> 0:16:36.240 had no business reading this. 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:38.040 Girl. 0:16:38.120 --> 0:16:40.720 Between that and Fly Girl, my mother would have been like, honey, 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:42.720 I'm gonna hit you with this book. Do you know? 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:44.720 I actually said that to Barbara, I said, when she said, 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:47.320 read a book, deer, I said, sister Soldier got this 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:48.800 book called The Coldest Winter Ever. 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:49.560 You should read. 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.680 And when she walked away, I said, I made a 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.320 mistake and what I just said, But it was all 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:58.920 of the failures and the public I failed in public. 0:16:59.000 --> 0:17:01.440 I didn't get to fail, you know, in private. 0:17:01.560 --> 0:17:04.280 So when did you develop this thick skin? Is that 0:17:04.760 --> 0:17:07.320 a persona that Sherry has to maintain because she's in 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:09.680 the public eye. What's it like when you go home 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:12.320 and you take off the makeup and you know, take 0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:12.679 off the. 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:15.040 Hair, and you know, take off. 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:19.960 To take off the hair, when you go home and 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.720 you're by yourself, what does that feel like for you? 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:26.760 The scrutiny, the eyes, the criticism. 0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:30.280 I think it's because I failed so much publicly that 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:33.320 I learned to joy Bayhart said, something that resonated with 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:35.800 me in my entire life. She said, Sherry, as soon 0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:38.400 as you open your mouth, half the world is gonna 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:42.879 hate you. So you it's always you know, you have 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:46.200 to learn to not take all of that on. And 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:49.399 I felt like, oh, I'm the black person at the table, 0:17:49.800 --> 0:17:51.960 so I got to I'm the Christian, so I have 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.440 to be this way. And it was John Murray, who 0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:57.240 is my best friend and he's executive producer of the show. 0:17:57.760 --> 0:17:59.960 He would tell me you can't take on the way 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:04.000 of all black people, Sherry, You're not strong enough. And 0:18:04.119 --> 0:18:04.960 so I learned. 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:07.000 And I will give you a great example. 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:10.040 There used to be a blog site called I Hate 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:13.560 Daytime Talk Shows, and every time I got aft off 0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:15.200 the show, I would go in these sites. 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:15.520 On the internet. 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:17.479 So you were glad for punishment, Sherry, and I had 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:18.520 to read everything about me. 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:19.360 What are they say? 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:21.520 And their purpose behind reading everything? Was it that you 0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:24.280 wanted to find out how to better no validation. 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:26.240 I needed them. 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:28.600 You wanted to see a positive comments. 0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:30.760 And they hated me all the time, they always and 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:33.200 they said Cherry is not authentic, She's a fake. You know. 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:35.840 She and I've had abortions in the past, and I 0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:38.520 remember they said, you know, she talked about having abortions 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:41.040 and she wasn't even sorry for it. So I said, Okay, 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:43.159 I'm gonna go on TV the next day and we 0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:45.320 were talking about Banns Shoes girl, and I said, I 0:18:45.480 --> 0:18:49.280 had abortions and I'm so sorry for it, and I'm 0:18:49.440 --> 0:18:52.560 so and I've just got emotional to abortion because I 0:18:52.640 --> 0:18:55.960 wanted to get it in because redemption and I talked 0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:57.560 about it and Whoopee was looking at me like what 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:00.680 what in the world. And I got on that site 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:04.040 I hate daytime talk and they said Sherry is just 0:19:04.520 --> 0:19:07.359 hated me for did you see how she faked was 0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:11.160 emotional faith? And I said, that's when I really can't 0:19:11.200 --> 0:19:13.320 lose for trying. You can't lose for trying, and you 0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:17.680 can't make people like you. So now I'm like, here's 0:19:17.760 --> 0:19:20.119 my criteria for social media because I. 0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:22.280 Get people that don't like me. People are gonna hate you. 0:19:22.600 --> 0:19:24.359 People are gonna hate you because they're in fear because 0:19:24.359 --> 0:19:27.200 they didn't set out themselves. Absolutely, people are gonna hate 0:19:27.200 --> 0:19:29.240 you because they're envious. People are gonna. 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.240 Hate you because they travel the road of mediocrity. 0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:32.879 They travel the road of mediocrity. 0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:35.639 They don't they're too they don't take a risk, and 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:37.879 they're people who like you are gonna not like you. 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.399 You can't make people happy. And if people, first of all, 0:19:41.440 --> 0:19:43.719 if you haven't sent me a card and asked about Jeffrey, 0:19:44.040 --> 0:19:46.280 if you haven't sent him twenty dollars for his birthday, 0:19:46.600 --> 0:19:49.040 if you haven't tried to help me with my mortgage, 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:53.280 if you haven't prayed with me, I don't care what 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:56.720 you think. Yes, so people who's because it's always somebody 0:19:56.760 --> 0:19:58.639 who be like you ain't cute? You think you and 0:19:58.760 --> 0:20:02.200 I go sist, step out and take a risk. 0:20:02.160 --> 0:20:05.400 Sex, you'll be you actually think I'm cute. That's the problem. 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:05.760 That's it. 0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:08.440 That's you don't want to take so it would it 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:10.840 serves you to criticize and always try to be positive. 0:20:10.920 --> 0:20:12.640 So that's why I don't pay. 0:20:12.920 --> 0:20:15.080 I feel for younger people who are on social media 0:20:15.560 --> 0:20:18.639 because it's such a different time in youth and you 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:20.400 want to get valid and you want all this love 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:24.240 and it's like you'll never get it. The lights all that, 0:20:24.520 --> 0:20:25.560 and everybody's picky. 0:20:25.680 --> 0:20:28.480 You know this girl love you one day and the 0:20:28.520 --> 0:20:30.920 same people hate you the next. Then they love you to. 0:20:31.200 --> 0:20:35.240 It's like fickles have fickle fickle if you don't have 0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:39.320 your cousins and your mama and your husband. That's the 0:20:39.720 --> 0:20:42.360 core people. I got a core group of girlfriends. When 0:20:42.400 --> 0:20:45.200 niece Nash calls me and checks me, her, I listen 0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:46.360 to a third. 0:20:46.240 --> 0:20:46.920 Of the time. 0:20:52.160 --> 0:20:55.320 You take some things with I completely get it. All right, y'all, 0:20:55.400 --> 0:20:57.320 stay right there. We're going to take a sure break 0:20:57.640 --> 0:21:05.200 and come right back to you. So Sherry multi hyphen it. 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:10.440 You do all the things actress Radian. Everything is anything 0:21:10.640 --> 0:21:13.560 like the top for you, Like, what do you really enjoy? 0:21:16.960 --> 0:21:18.800 I feel like this is such a pet answer. 0:21:18.960 --> 0:21:23.280 I'm so blessed, Like it makes me cry that God 0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:27.200 has allowed me to do all of the things that 0:21:27.320 --> 0:21:31.720 I love. So I feel like it's hard to it's 0:21:31.880 --> 0:21:35.159 hard to pick one because it's always been my dream 0:21:35.800 --> 0:21:38.560 to be a talk show host. It is always, and 0:21:38.680 --> 0:21:41.520 you know this, when it's like that dream that has 0:21:41.760 --> 0:21:46.080 hadn't come to pass, it's always. I love doing stand up. 0:21:46.520 --> 0:21:49.120 I love making on the stage just me and myself 0:21:49.520 --> 0:21:53.760 and with my life making somebody feel better about what 0:21:53.960 --> 0:21:57.520 I've gone through, Like when I went through a relationship 0:21:57.600 --> 0:22:01.119 breakup and it had with single talked about it on stage, 0:22:01.160 --> 0:22:02.840 and I had so many women coming up to me, going, 0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:05.520 I'm going through the same thing. So I love being 0:22:05.560 --> 0:22:07.880 able to make people feel better with laughter. I love 0:22:08.000 --> 0:22:10.440 being able to I just finished this movie with Tyler Perry, 0:22:10.440 --> 0:22:16.639 you know, like I love acting. I love, you know, 0:22:17.000 --> 0:22:19.400 writing books. I'm working on the children's book right now, 0:22:19.880 --> 0:22:25.000 so I'm so thankful. And they're all different animals. So 0:22:25.200 --> 0:22:27.440 I love acting. I'm miss acting. I want to do 0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:30.960 a sitcom where I make people laugh even while I'm 0:22:31.000 --> 0:22:34.680 doing the talk show. So what's my favorite all of 0:22:34.720 --> 0:22:36.200 all the things? You know? 0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:38.880 Specifically look at you as a comedian, because I'm thinking 0:22:38.880 --> 0:22:40.760 of the talk show space, right, I have to have 0:22:40.840 --> 0:22:43.800 the personality like people tend to err on the side 0:22:43.840 --> 0:22:45.840 of comedy and make people laugh even if it's a 0:22:45.960 --> 0:22:48.960 serious topic. But in this day and age, I feel 0:22:49.000 --> 0:22:53.760 like people are so hypersensuive about all the things my 0:22:53.840 --> 0:22:57.680 good So how do you navigate this ever evolving ecosystem 0:22:57.760 --> 0:23:01.159 of sensitivity that people have as a comedian when you 0:23:01.240 --> 0:23:04.080 want to spit facts but doing it in jest, how 0:23:04.119 --> 0:23:07.000 do you navigate that girl, so you not canceled every 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:08.960 two seconds? I feel like every comedian is canceled for 0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:12.320 saying something that people really want to say. Anyway, girls 0:23:12.400 --> 0:23:13.200 like I can't say it. 0:23:13.880 --> 0:23:16.240 Kadeen, I did a joke about my son. He's on 0:23:16.359 --> 0:23:19.320 the autism spectrum, and I did a joke and I said, 0:23:19.680 --> 0:23:22.600 sometimes I feel like he ain't autistic. I feel like 0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:25.520 I'm being bamboozo. I feel like this book and when 0:23:25.560 --> 0:23:27.960 I tell you the number of people that wrote in, 0:23:28.119 --> 0:23:30.280 they were offended. They were And I'm like, and my 0:23:30.440 --> 0:23:33.280 son is like, I gotta find humor, and some of 0:23:33.359 --> 0:23:36.360 the stuff that he does, I gotta and you get 0:23:36.400 --> 0:23:38.680 so many people to come against you. So doing a 0:23:38.800 --> 0:23:42.280 talk show, it's a little bit more tricky because I 0:23:42.400 --> 0:23:46.200 always want to find funny, but I don't want people 0:23:46.280 --> 0:23:49.760 to be hurt by my funny. Like because number one, 0:23:49.800 --> 0:23:53.119 Woopy said this to me. She said, because we were 0:23:53.160 --> 0:23:54.840 on the view and it was a hot topic and 0:23:54.920 --> 0:23:57.720 there was a certain person I can't even say names 0:23:57.720 --> 0:23:58.840 because will be gonna kill me. 0:23:59.119 --> 0:24:02.760 Who them something to somebody that we know. 0:24:03.200 --> 0:24:05.920 And I said, I know he did that on purpose, 0:24:06.160 --> 0:24:07.880 and I know this happened to her because of him, 0:24:07.920 --> 0:24:09.080 and I want to talk about it. 0:24:09.800 --> 0:24:11.879 And Whoopy said, we're not going to talk about that. 0:24:11.960 --> 0:24:14.200 And I was like, I'm telling you, he do this 0:24:14.320 --> 0:24:16.760 to women all the time, and he always and I 0:24:17.280 --> 0:24:20.280 want to like, we got the platform, and she said. 0:24:20.280 --> 0:24:22.240 And then of course, since Whoopy said she wasn't gonna 0:24:22.240 --> 0:24:24.640 do it, everybody was like, well, I'm not doing it either. 0:24:24.760 --> 0:24:25.520 So I went into. 0:24:25.400 --> 0:24:28.159 Whoopee's room and I said, Whoopee, why you shoot this 0:24:28.440 --> 0:24:32.440 down because everybody knows this particular superstar did this to 0:24:32.520 --> 0:24:34.680 this woman. And but and this is what she said 0:24:34.720 --> 0:24:37.240 to me. She said, Sherry, if you go up in 0:24:37.320 --> 0:24:41.040 the club, she said, first of all, celebrities have long memories, 0:24:41.440 --> 0:24:44.560 and you're going to work beyond the view you are 0:24:44.640 --> 0:24:47.200 an actress, yes, And she said, so if you walk 0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:50.560 into a comedy club or a club and he sees 0:24:50.640 --> 0:24:52.359 you and he decides he want to pop you in 0:24:52.440 --> 0:24:54.520 the mouth, ain't nobody gonna do nothing there, gonna pull 0:24:54.520 --> 0:24:56.640 out this help. They're not gonna do anything, right, she said, 0:24:56.680 --> 0:25:00.320 But if Elizabeth Hasselbacker asking the club, I don't do 0:25:00.359 --> 0:25:02.240 nothing to her. And she said, so they have long 0:25:02.359 --> 0:25:05.320 memories and you have to remember that. So that informs 0:25:05.480 --> 0:25:08.600 how I do things on this show. Like I come 0:25:08.680 --> 0:25:12.880 in from a place of love and you know, light 0:25:13.240 --> 0:25:15.959 and light laughter. So I want celebrities to know when 0:25:16.080 --> 0:25:18.640 Cherry's making fun of me, she's coming from a place 0:25:18.680 --> 0:25:20.760 of love where they don't feel like I'm being mean 0:25:20.920 --> 0:25:24.760 because I do have any but in this day and age, 0:25:25.240 --> 0:25:28.040 sometimes they don't. And I still have to go and 0:25:28.200 --> 0:25:30.640 work and take care of my son, and I don't 0:25:30.720 --> 0:25:34.800 want anybody like. I saw a celebrity at the comedy store. 0:25:35.280 --> 0:25:38.240 Now it was stuff about him and the Sherry wanted 0:25:38.280 --> 0:25:41.280 to get on the chair and be like anyway and 0:25:41.440 --> 0:25:43.919 talk about him. But thankfully my best friend John, He's like, now, 0:25:43.920 --> 0:25:46.760 where can we come in from a lighter place where 0:25:46.760 --> 0:25:48.080 people are going to be inspired? 0:25:48.240 --> 0:25:48.359 Right? 0:25:49.320 --> 0:25:52.719 And I did? And do you know afterwards, I went 0:25:52.800 --> 0:25:56.359 to La I went to a club, walked in and 0:25:56.520 --> 0:26:00.119 that person was right there and he hugged me and 0:26:00.200 --> 0:26:02.080 he was like, hey, sis, now he's hugging me. 0:26:02.160 --> 0:26:08.200 My face was like this, but he said, I thank 0:26:08.240 --> 0:26:09.000 you for what you said. 0:26:09.200 --> 0:26:11.040 It really it made me feel so good and I 0:26:11.080 --> 0:26:13.200 appreciate that, and sists, if you want me to come 0:26:13.240 --> 0:26:15.840 on your show, I will be happy. He stayed and 0:26:15.920 --> 0:26:18.480 watch me do my set. He was like, oh my God, 0:26:18.560 --> 0:26:20.960 like we gotta like, I gotta, can you come do 0:26:21.119 --> 0:26:23.800 something with And I was like, okay, absolutely, that could 0:26:23.840 --> 0:26:25.879 have went a different way. I'm a woman, I'm a singer, 0:26:25.920 --> 0:26:28.280 you know, And I think about that all the time 0:26:28.640 --> 0:26:29.760 because I'm out in these streets. 0:26:29.800 --> 0:26:31.080 I did so many different things. 0:26:31.200 --> 0:26:33.880 So you never know when someone's gonna spend the block 0:26:33.880 --> 0:26:35.280 and you have to either work with them or they 0:26:35.359 --> 0:26:38.120 making a decision. Absolutely, And if I was even saying 0:26:38.160 --> 0:26:40.720 it the other day about some PA's who have now 0:26:41.040 --> 0:26:45.399 were PA's years ago and they're now executive producers and 0:26:45.480 --> 0:26:47.399 they're calling the shots and they're making the decisis and 0:26:47.440 --> 0:26:49.720 they remember that they remember every single interaction. 0:26:49.800 --> 0:26:52.200 There are some people who will never set foot on 0:26:52.320 --> 0:26:56.639 my couch because of how they treated me in the industry. 0:26:57.280 --> 0:26:59.640 And they come to me and go they don't remember, 0:27:00.080 --> 0:27:03.560 but I remember how I felt in their presence, and 0:27:03.640 --> 0:27:05.239 they will call me, go girl, when you're gonna bring 0:27:05.280 --> 0:27:08.960 me on your show, I'm gonna never phone near the 0:27:09.160 --> 0:27:11.240 never ary. I'm gonna put that on the T shirt 0:27:11.320 --> 0:27:13.800 girl like that. Yes, they would never be on the 0:27:14.160 --> 0:27:16.560 and and people say, but what would Jesus do? Well, 0:27:16.600 --> 0:27:20.960 I'm not Jesus. My name Cherry that Jesus will let 0:27:21.000 --> 0:27:24.160 them come on and get them a word. You don't 0:27:24.160 --> 0:27:28.360 get to come on, no, sir, so you're not work. 0:27:29.040 --> 0:27:31.639 I want to show you something, Sherry, show me really, 0:27:31.800 --> 0:27:34.240 Coret Clay, let me pull it up with this. 0:27:34.359 --> 0:27:36.600 I want to let you know I'm probably saying stuff 0:27:36.600 --> 0:27:37.480 I shouldn't even be saying. 0:27:37.560 --> 0:27:43.840 No, baby, transparate this atmosphere of comfort. We can just yeah, good, 0:27:44.000 --> 0:27:45.080 good and you do good. 0:27:45.200 --> 0:27:46.920 Thank you. I was actually going to ask you for 0:27:46.960 --> 0:27:49.280 feedback later, like how to do this makes me very 0:27:49.320 --> 0:27:52.000 happy because you're walking in, walking in your purpose. Awesome. 0:27:52.080 --> 0:27:53.639 Thank you, my love. All right, So take a look. 0:27:53.520 --> 0:27:56.280 Here now with me, right now, I have none other 0:27:56.560 --> 0:28:01.639 than the hilarious. I'm really doing great. Is I'm in 0:28:01.760 --> 0:28:02.920 a room for the mothers. 0:28:03.000 --> 0:28:03.920 I'm really doing good. 0:28:05.280 --> 0:28:07.160 Tell me about the event tonight and what it means 0:28:07.160 --> 0:28:11.280 to you to be here for celebrity women and doing 0:28:11.359 --> 0:28:13.240 both things. They're juggling home and heart. 0:28:13.680 --> 0:28:16.160 You know, it's really inspiring to be around these these 0:28:16.280 --> 0:28:19.560 mothers because I'm learning different tips of how to balance 0:28:19.680 --> 0:28:25.760 my life because I think mother wig the spinning plates. 0:28:25.840 --> 0:28:26.480 Oh my god. 0:28:26.920 --> 0:28:31.399 Before I had my son Jeffrey, I was living, eating greer. 0:28:31.800 --> 0:28:36.400 I was always hustling. I everybody knew me. Oh my goodness, Jeffrey, 0:28:38.440 --> 0:28:43.080 both of us and you got there and everything else. 0:28:44.000 --> 0:28:47.640 I started learning to say no, and I've turned down 0:28:47.720 --> 0:28:50.440 projects because it took me away from Jeffrey. How good 0:28:50.520 --> 0:28:50.800 you are? 0:28:51.720 --> 0:28:54.080 Burning down names are come to me tenfold. 0:28:54.240 --> 0:28:55.760 I never wanted to be one of those homes that 0:28:55.800 --> 0:28:57.120 were Sam come to me and twenty one. 0:28:57.440 --> 0:28:59.640 You were never there, so I wanted him and I 0:28:59.680 --> 0:29:02.040 always know you are the most important thing in my life. 0:29:02.160 --> 0:29:05.040 Not a show, not a talk show, not a sitcom 0:29:05.960 --> 0:29:06.560 talk show. 0:29:06.720 --> 0:29:11.160 Oh my gosh, God, thank you. 0:29:11.680 --> 0:29:15.480 Talk about a full circle moment about living and walking 0:29:15.560 --> 0:29:19.120 in purpose, talk about God ordering our steps and opening 0:29:19.200 --> 0:29:20.000 the doors. 0:29:19.720 --> 0:29:26.960 In the windows. Baby. So that was okay. 0:29:27.520 --> 0:29:29.360 I went to school for broadcast journal I'm going to do. 0:29:29.800 --> 0:29:32.120 I went to school for broadcast journalism and it got 0:29:32.160 --> 0:29:35.120 my masters and speech communication, rhetorical studies, and performance. So 0:29:35.240 --> 0:29:38.520 this has always been since the beginning of time for me, 0:29:39.200 --> 0:29:42.440 and looking at that, it was what is God's confirmation 0:29:42.680 --> 0:29:46.280 for you? God's confirmation for me is that this is 0:29:46.480 --> 0:29:49.760 what It's funny that we watched that because we talked 0:29:49.760 --> 0:29:52.120 about the things you had to say no to because 0:29:52.160 --> 0:29:54.720 it didn't serve you and your son and your family 0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:58.440 in that moment. And my confirmation came from actually me 0:29:58.560 --> 0:30:01.280 recently canceling a live show. Oh, I had planned a 0:30:01.360 --> 0:30:05.880 live tour show, and having the guts to say I'm 0:30:05.960 --> 0:30:08.040 not going to do this, I'm going to cancel took 0:30:08.040 --> 0:30:10.320 a lot because of course there's a speculation like, oh, 0:30:10.320 --> 0:30:11.760 why did she cancel? What happens? The first of all, 0:30:11.760 --> 0:30:12.400 I'm not pregnant. 0:30:12.800 --> 0:30:15.120 That's the first thing. Oh darn, it's not it. 0:30:15.360 --> 0:30:18.680 I love when you get pregnant, Devo too. 0:30:19.160 --> 0:30:22.760 That's the process. But no, it was it was in 0:30:22.880 --> 0:30:26.480 those moments where I had to navigate and change plans 0:30:26.520 --> 0:30:30.720 and pivot that the doors opened further and why yeah, 0:30:31.560 --> 0:30:35.320 And that for me, try not to get emotional because 0:30:35.320 --> 0:30:36.720 it's not supposed to be there. It's supposed to be 0:30:36.760 --> 0:30:38.880 that the way around. But that for me in those 0:30:38.960 --> 0:30:42.880 moments when I have Sherry Shepherd who answers my husband's 0:30:42.920 --> 0:30:46.000 call and says, yes, Kadeen, I'll sit with you. A 0:30:46.080 --> 0:30:47.760 couple of other people who I've reached out to for 0:30:47.880 --> 0:30:49.800 my live show they said, Okay, the live show is 0:30:49.840 --> 0:30:52.760 not happening. But when can we chat? The people who 0:30:52.800 --> 0:30:56.720 are saying yes to me is literally my confirmation from God. 0:30:56.800 --> 0:30:59.040 Like Kadeen, you're moving in the way you're supposed to move. 0:30:59.400 --> 0:31:03.200 In the past ten years, I've dedicated so much time, 0:31:03.440 --> 0:31:06.480 especially to my family, to growing my family and to 0:31:06.560 --> 0:31:08.920 being that present mom. And in the video that we 0:31:09.160 --> 0:31:13.560 just watched, you talked about say no to opportunities because 0:31:13.800 --> 0:31:17.560 Jeffrey was of utmost importance as a mother and the 0:31:17.680 --> 0:31:19.920 door is opened and other directions that you could not 0:31:20.000 --> 0:31:20.920 have even fathomed. 0:31:21.440 --> 0:31:25.360 I think that's so I love that you speak that 0:31:25.440 --> 0:31:28.960 because I think it's so true. That's I believe is 0:31:29.040 --> 0:31:34.360 our first assignment as we're mothers, we're wives, and you 0:31:34.800 --> 0:31:38.440 just you put it aside. It wasn't to know, it 0:31:38.560 --> 0:31:41.600 was just not yet because you had to be a 0:31:41.760 --> 0:31:45.240 force in your family. You were there for your husband, 0:31:45.360 --> 0:31:47.720 you were there for your kids. And I just believe 0:31:48.280 --> 0:31:51.680 that God honors that and he brings it to you 0:31:51.760 --> 0:31:55.560 when it's supposed to happen. Absolutely, and it's for me 0:31:55.760 --> 0:31:59.040 with Jeffrey's same thing. I turned down so many things 0:31:59.480 --> 0:32:01.360 and I was like, Lord, did I make a mistake? 0:32:01.520 --> 0:32:04.360 Did I? But I didn't. I really didn't want him 0:32:04.360 --> 0:32:08.280 to say you were never there on Jew Jeffrey's nineteen 0:32:08.880 --> 0:32:10.960 Now he says other stuff, Why you in my room? 0:32:11.400 --> 0:32:13.880 Why how come you keep calling me? But he never 0:32:13.960 --> 0:32:15.760 says you were never They were never there. 0:32:16.000 --> 0:32:17.040 You sit in here and you don't want him to 0:32:17.080 --> 0:32:18.520 be twenty one and say that that was. 0:32:18.560 --> 0:32:20.760 Eleven years ago, that was eleven years ago. 0:32:21.000 --> 0:32:21.800 And he can't say that. 0:32:21.960 --> 0:32:23.960 He can That's the one thing he does not say, 0:32:24.160 --> 0:32:28.120 like and so I just know that God. Sometimes I say, God, 0:32:28.200 --> 0:32:30.320 why did you give this blessing to me? When you 0:32:30.440 --> 0:32:33.080 know my memory? I mean, forget girl. When I tell 0:32:33.080 --> 0:32:35.120 you A big superstar was sitting on the couch across 0:32:35.120 --> 0:32:36.720 from me, and I was like, what is his name? 0:32:36.800 --> 0:32:37.040 Again? 0:32:38.120 --> 0:32:38.400 Family? 0:32:38.920 --> 0:32:40.520 How many like that? Absolutely? 0:32:40.560 --> 0:32:43.640 And I said he's a heart throat, said in the moment, 0:32:43.720 --> 0:32:44.320 and then just. 0:32:44.520 --> 0:32:48.200 Name when I tell you? And they could tell I 0:32:48.280 --> 0:32:50.440 was panicking. I was like, I don't remember prompter. 0:32:51.800 --> 0:32:53.640 I was like, sweetie, who are you? 0:32:53.760 --> 0:32:56.000 Who are you telling you? I'm on your flipp it. 0:32:57.320 --> 0:32:59.840 But I was like, and you give me this blessing 0:33:00.120 --> 0:33:02.840 when I don't have as much energy as I would 0:33:02.880 --> 0:33:04.720 have had in my twenties. 0:33:04.800 --> 0:33:05.840 I'd have been. 0:33:05.840 --> 0:33:08.800 Ripping and run, more stories to tell. 0:33:09.920 --> 0:33:11.040 But I'm have more life. 0:33:12.080 --> 0:33:13.000 You've lived more. 0:33:13.200 --> 0:33:15.840 I've lived more. I was confidence, and it's because I 0:33:16.000 --> 0:33:19.040 just took a little break and I made sure Jeffrey 0:33:19.160 --> 0:33:19.520 was okay. 0:33:19.680 --> 0:33:19.840 Yeah. 0:33:19.960 --> 0:33:22.120 And it's great to have the support of not only 0:33:22.200 --> 0:33:24.320 my husband, but women like you in the industry who 0:33:24.360 --> 0:33:27.240 are taking the time to help push me forward and 0:33:27.320 --> 0:33:30.760 to help mentor me and to help further confirm where 0:33:30.760 --> 0:33:33.640 I'm supposed to be. I was reading an article where 0:33:33.800 --> 0:33:35.960 someone was interviewing Lena Waithe and she said that no 0:33:36.040 --> 0:33:39.000 one should go to their grave with a dream deferred. 0:33:40.040 --> 0:33:42.920 And I've learned over time that a denial in a 0:33:43.000 --> 0:33:46.760 moment is not necessarily a no, that it's just deferred 0:33:46.800 --> 0:33:49.120 to a later time when you're better able and equipped 0:33:49.160 --> 0:33:51.280 to receive that blessing and be a blessing to others 0:33:51.640 --> 0:33:55.200 because it's not just about us, which we've said. So 0:33:55.360 --> 0:33:57.840 I'm in that space now where I feel like, no 0:33:57.960 --> 0:34:00.480 longer am I going to self sabotage and say you're 0:34:00.480 --> 0:34:02.360 not ready for this in this moment. You're no longer 0:34:02.440 --> 0:34:04.680 going to procrastinate because you say you're a perfectionist, but 0:34:04.720 --> 0:34:06.760 you're not really a perfectionist. You're really just out here 0:34:06.880 --> 0:34:09.640 trying to buy time. Yes, I've realized as I watched 0:34:09.680 --> 0:34:12.919 my children grow. I have a thirteen year old, which 0:34:12.960 --> 0:34:15.800 is insane to me, girl, and those moments when I 0:34:15.880 --> 0:34:18.680 look at him, it really gives me that real life, 0:34:18.719 --> 0:34:22.239 physical perspective of how time flies goes by so fast. 0:34:22.320 --> 0:34:25.160 It goes by so fast, and I'm just trying to 0:34:25.200 --> 0:34:26.960 live in it. Now, I'm in a space where I'm 0:34:27.080 --> 0:34:28.800 just living in it, and I'm like, God, order my 0:34:28.840 --> 0:34:31.879 steps where I'm supposed to be in those rooms. There's 0:34:32.120 --> 0:34:34.160 rooms that I haven't even been in that people are 0:34:34.320 --> 0:34:36.880 already talking about me and my name and who I am. 0:34:37.040 --> 0:34:39.759 And I receive that, Well, you're going to touch people 0:34:39.800 --> 0:34:43.160 that other people will not be able to touch. That's 0:34:43.200 --> 0:34:47.040 why He's putting you there, like we all you know, yeah, 0:34:47.080 --> 0:34:50.279 we have just speaking of black women who have a 0:34:50.360 --> 0:34:54.160 talk show. So it's Tameron Hall, it's Jennifer Hudson, it's 0:34:54.320 --> 0:34:56.640 me and you got you know, folks who are part 0:34:56.680 --> 0:34:59.040 of a panel like a Whoop we go bird. But 0:34:59.160 --> 0:35:02.239 there's so much room here, and there's an audience of 0:35:02.440 --> 0:35:07.960 people that God wants to be reached through you and 0:35:08.080 --> 0:35:12.040 you're absolutely walking in it. And so you know, sometimes 0:35:12.080 --> 0:35:14.719 we do, we procrastinate and we try to be perfectionists. 0:35:14.960 --> 0:35:18.239 But that's I think it's also because we're scared, absolutely 0:35:18.239 --> 0:35:21.640 because God don't require you to be a perfectionist. He 0:35:21.840 --> 0:35:24.279 just requires you to show show up and do the work. 0:35:24.320 --> 0:35:26.840 He requires you to show up and then he'll do 0:35:27.000 --> 0:35:30.000 the rest. But your move of faith is just standing 0:35:30.040 --> 0:35:32.880 there going I'm here, I don't know what to do. 0:35:33.080 --> 0:35:36.399 That's how I felt my first my first day when 0:35:36.640 --> 0:35:40.160 doing this talk show Kadeen, I was like I got 0:35:40.280 --> 0:35:43.480 a pan. I get into a panic, of course, and 0:35:43.600 --> 0:35:45.840 I said, Okay, how am I going to be different 0:35:45.880 --> 0:35:48.480 from there's so many talk show hosts. 0:35:48.520 --> 0:35:50.080 Lord, what am I going to do? I don't have, Like, 0:35:50.160 --> 0:35:51.840 I don't have a monologue, I don't have what. 0:35:51.880 --> 0:35:54.080 Am I supposed to like do? I just start out? 0:35:55.719 --> 0:35:58.799 And first of all, he was like, calm down, watch 0:35:58.840 --> 0:36:05.960 your tone. You get you question. And it was then 0:36:06.040 --> 0:36:08.640 it was literally like this voice said, you just talked 0:36:08.680 --> 0:36:11.960 to Oprah two days ago. Just tell the story the 0:36:12.000 --> 0:36:14.440 way you're gonna tell the story about the advice she 0:36:14.520 --> 0:36:14.800 gave you. 0:36:15.080 --> 0:36:16.879 And that was my first monologue. 0:36:17.440 --> 0:36:20.200 And it was like and then God sends people into 0:36:20.280 --> 0:36:23.920 your life to confirm. And then another sister said to me, 0:36:24.400 --> 0:36:27.160 you have to walk into what is he has already written. 0:36:27.760 --> 0:36:30.040 So he's already written it for you, you just gotta 0:36:30.120 --> 0:36:33.000 walk in it. And then another sister said, Cherry, just 0:36:33.120 --> 0:36:36.240 show up and he'll do the rest. And so whenever 0:36:36.280 --> 0:36:38.560 I get nervous and I go, Lord, I don't have 0:36:38.640 --> 0:36:41.560 any jokes, I don't feel funny, nothing is hitting me. 0:36:41.840 --> 0:36:44.400 I don't remember the story I'm supposed to do, the 0:36:44.520 --> 0:36:48.360 teleprompter has gone out. I'm just sitting here. I go. 0:36:49.080 --> 0:36:52.160 All you want me to do is show up and 0:36:52.320 --> 0:36:54.320 you'll do the rest. And that's what he's doing for you. 0:36:54.800 --> 0:36:56.880 Thank you, And I think thank you for that, Sherry. 0:36:57.000 --> 0:37:01.000 And I truly believe that I'm not going to touch everybody. 0:37:01.040 --> 0:37:02.680 I'm not gonna be liked by everybody, but the people 0:37:02.719 --> 0:37:05.120 who are for you are for you. We've even realized 0:37:05.120 --> 0:37:08.080 that in our social media journey. You know, take me 0:37:08.320 --> 0:37:10.520 or leave me, that's it, Take mere, leave me. Have 0:37:10.600 --> 0:37:11.840 you ever felt like you know what I have to 0:37:11.960 --> 0:37:14.920 kind of like style step and curtail. You know how 0:37:15.000 --> 0:37:16.560 I speak, or the way I move or the job 0:37:16.600 --> 0:37:19.920 I take because that will then eventually get people to 0:37:20.400 --> 0:37:23.120 buy into what I'm doing now, like throughout your journey, 0:37:23.440 --> 0:37:24.880 ycause you've done so many things. 0:37:24.800 --> 0:37:28.239 I have coming up Okay, And that's why I love 0:37:28.320 --> 0:37:31.320 that I'm not my twenties anymore. In these thirties because 0:37:31.400 --> 0:37:34.840 I felt like I wanted everybody to like me. I 0:37:35.000 --> 0:37:38.240 always said yes, because I felt like I just if 0:37:38.239 --> 0:37:41.000 you could depend on me, then you'll like me. If 0:37:41.040 --> 0:37:43.719 you will, if you like me, then you're gonna need me. 0:37:43.880 --> 0:37:46.080 You'll need me, And it doesn't work out that way. 0:37:46.280 --> 0:37:49.040 So now with this show, I see why he gave 0:37:49.080 --> 0:37:50.320 it to me at this age because if this is 0:37:50.480 --> 0:37:53.200 I'm Auntie, No, No, it's my go to. 0:37:53.480 --> 0:37:58.120 There is something about forty. I turned forty in December. 0:37:58.000 --> 0:37:58.239 M h. 0:37:59.000 --> 0:38:00.919 And what happened baby. 0:38:02.520 --> 0:38:06.759 Once I hit the fourth floor. Yes, it was a 0:38:06.840 --> 0:38:10.640 process and it took some tragic events for me to 0:38:10.719 --> 0:38:13.200 get to this point. But baby, I don't care. 0:38:14.239 --> 0:38:15.439 You don't care. 0:38:16.800 --> 0:38:18.960 This is who I am. It is you love it, 0:38:19.120 --> 0:38:21.640 you don't. Oh well, oh well, because like you said, 0:38:21.800 --> 0:38:23.839 no one's putting twenty dollars in that card to my kids. 0:38:23.920 --> 0:38:26.160 Absolutely're not looking for the bill to be paid. They're 0:38:26.200 --> 0:38:28.600 not doing anything with the lifestyle that I am now 0:38:28.680 --> 0:38:31.080 building for my family. So there's something about it. So 0:38:31.120 --> 0:38:32.120 you're telling me that there's. 0:38:31.960 --> 0:38:35.200 Even more girl when you get to my neighborhood, when 0:38:35.200 --> 0:38:35.960 you get to my block. 0:38:36.560 --> 0:38:38.560 When I get to the fifth it's even more man. 0:38:38.640 --> 0:38:40.719 From the fifth flip oh can get and when you 0:38:40.760 --> 0:38:42.880 get to the fifth floor girl, when I tell you, 0:38:43.280 --> 0:38:47.799 it is a freedom of not really caring, like if 0:38:47.840 --> 0:38:49.960 you're respectful. I read all my comments. 0:38:50.000 --> 0:38:50.160 I do. 0:38:50.440 --> 0:38:52.319 I read them because there's a lot of people who 0:38:52.320 --> 0:38:53.080 are just respectful. 0:38:53.120 --> 0:38:55.359 One one lady said, cheer. I love you so much, 0:38:55.440 --> 0:38:56.400 but you gotta breathe like. 0:38:56.440 --> 0:39:00.920 You keep talking. I'm talking so fast. That's that's that rate. 0:39:01.000 --> 0:39:04.640 There was not disrespectful. It's because she cared and she's 0:39:04.760 --> 0:39:06.759 like her. And so I read and I go, thank 0:39:06.840 --> 0:39:08.399 you so much. And then I get the bad ones 0:39:08.520 --> 0:39:10.720 and I don't care. But I sit in this space 0:39:10.760 --> 0:39:14.719 when things are offered to me, I'm not afraid to 0:39:14.760 --> 0:39:16.880 say no, and I go. If you don't like me, 0:39:17.600 --> 0:39:20.160 then there's other people that there's other flavors that you 0:39:20.320 --> 0:39:23.160 can get with. But if you do, come on over 0:39:23.239 --> 0:39:25.520 to this side and let me take you on a journey, 0:39:25.920 --> 0:39:28.160 but otherwise my life is still moving. I don't have 0:39:28.239 --> 0:39:31.160 a lot of time to give energy to people and 0:39:31.239 --> 0:39:33.320 trying to change and trying to because I think the 0:39:33.480 --> 0:39:35.600 moment you try to change to become what you think 0:39:35.640 --> 0:39:36.280 people want. 0:39:36.160 --> 0:39:38.240 You to be is the moment you start to fail 0:39:38.360 --> 0:39:39.800 and you lose that authenticity. 0:39:39.880 --> 0:39:41.440 You lose the authenticity because it's. 0:39:41.280 --> 0:39:42.960 A hard facade to keep up with. People always ask 0:39:42.960 --> 0:39:45.000 the value, like how a y'all able to do content 0:39:45.120 --> 0:39:47.680 and do videos and type a podcast? I said, because 0:39:47.760 --> 0:39:50.360 we literally are speaking our truth through the life in 0:39:50.480 --> 0:39:53.840 real time and we're okay sharing that. Because what happens 0:39:53.880 --> 0:39:57.400 with sharing is that you are now kind of opening 0:39:57.480 --> 0:40:00.719 up a community of people that feel like I'm not alone. Right, 0:40:01.080 --> 0:40:03.640 someone can resonate with this. I am going through the 0:40:03.680 --> 0:40:06.680 same thing too. You don't feel like you're the anomaly anymore. Yeah, 0:40:06.800 --> 0:40:10.080 there's like a camaraderie in sharing that if you are 0:40:10.280 --> 0:40:13.200 positive and you're looking for the positivity in it, that 0:40:13.320 --> 0:40:16.120 you could really grow from there. You go, let's pivot 0:40:16.160 --> 0:40:18.279 back real quick too. When you wanted to become a mom. 0:40:18.680 --> 0:40:20.200 We have a lot of women who listen to the 0:40:20.239 --> 0:40:22.600 show and the purpose of a day with k when 0:40:22.640 --> 0:40:25.319 I have a lot of my women on we're talking 0:40:25.320 --> 0:40:27.560 about the woman three sixty, So what does she look 0:40:27.640 --> 0:40:30.080 like on different perspectives? Right, because I'm thinking about just 0:40:30.200 --> 0:40:32.000 like spinning a top, and we're doing all these things 0:40:32.040 --> 0:40:34.319 all the time. Right, at what point did you say, 0:40:34.360 --> 0:40:36.000 you know what I want to become a mom. You 0:40:36.080 --> 0:40:39.080 didn't have the conventional route of motherhood. You went through surrogacy. 0:40:39.840 --> 0:40:41.879 You said you had a couple abortions in the past too, 0:40:42.400 --> 0:40:43.800 So at what point did you say, you know what 0:40:44.160 --> 0:40:46.279 this is for me? This is the route I'm going 0:40:46.360 --> 0:40:47.920 to have to take and being okay with that? 0:40:49.480 --> 0:40:51.120 You know, I felt a lot of guilt. I was 0:40:51.239 --> 0:40:55.759 young when I went through abortions. I was just young, 0:40:56.040 --> 0:40:58.719 just wasn't thinking. And then they came back to bite 0:40:58.760 --> 0:41:00.600 me in the butt of feeling guilt because it was 0:41:00.680 --> 0:41:03.200 very hard for me to get pregnant, and all those 0:41:03.239 --> 0:41:07.600 guilt feelings came back. And I made peace with it 0:41:08.040 --> 0:41:11.680 because a woman came up to me at a faith 0:41:11.800 --> 0:41:14.320 conference and she said, because I felt so guilty, and 0:41:14.360 --> 0:41:16.440 I was like this, I'm cursed so I can't have 0:41:16.520 --> 0:41:19.360 a baby. And she said to me, she said, Sherry, 0:41:19.760 --> 0:41:22.640 I need you to name the babies, and she said, 0:41:22.640 --> 0:41:24.480 because when you get up to heaven, because that's where 0:41:24.480 --> 0:41:26.399 you're going. She said, when you get up there, they're 0:41:26.400 --> 0:41:28.000 gonna be waiting for you, and they're gonna be waiting 0:41:28.040 --> 0:41:30.520 with their arms wide open, saying Mama, Oh my God. 0:41:30.560 --> 0:41:33.279 And I tell you I cried. I cried, and I 0:41:33.400 --> 0:41:38.719 felt God's just forgiveness come over me, and so I 0:41:38.760 --> 0:41:41.400 can talk about it like that, yes, because I know 0:41:41.520 --> 0:41:44.800 that He's forgiven. But then it was like once that happened, 0:41:44.880 --> 0:41:47.799 it was like something released in me. And then then 0:41:47.840 --> 0:41:49.399 I went through that I don't know if I can 0:41:49.680 --> 0:41:51.440 do this. I don't know if I'm going to be 0:41:51.480 --> 0:41:53.320 a good mother because I came from a you know, 0:41:53.840 --> 0:41:57.960 generations of single mothers in my family that we were 0:41:58.000 --> 0:41:59.719 always having to do it by ourself. So I was like, 0:41:59.800 --> 0:42:03.520 I'm want to bring that child into the world. And 0:42:03.640 --> 0:42:05.480 then so I got married and I finally was like, 0:42:05.920 --> 0:42:09.960 oh kayah, and then everything went to hell and a 0:42:10.040 --> 0:42:13.240 handbasket and I was a single mother with a child 0:42:13.600 --> 0:42:17.000 that has special needs. So it is it's it's been 0:42:17.080 --> 0:42:21.239 a journey, like being a mother and feeling like I'm enough, 0:42:22.080 --> 0:42:25.920 you know, and being with Jeffrey. I love being a mama, 0:42:26.640 --> 0:42:29.800 but I go through Gosh, I go through something, especially 0:42:29.880 --> 0:42:33.400 if you have a son and he's black with special needs. 0:42:33.560 --> 0:42:37.640 Every day it's probably like label, label, label, but. 0:42:37.719 --> 0:42:40.960 I always worry every day, Like Jeffrey is different, he 0:42:41.080 --> 0:42:45.040 processes differently, so I worry. He's nineteen. He looks like 0:42:45.120 --> 0:42:46.759 he's twenty three. But if you were to looked at 0:42:46.800 --> 0:42:49.120 my son, you would see a fourteen year old. You'd see, 0:42:49.880 --> 0:42:52.360 you know, And I go, well, the police recognize that 0:42:53.160 --> 0:42:55.320 my son's you know, my son doesn't want to have 0:42:55.440 --> 0:42:58.080 a label. When I say, if your phone runs out, babe, 0:42:58.680 --> 0:43:01.279 tell people you are to stick and you just trying 0:43:01.320 --> 0:43:03.120 to get in touch with their mom. And my son says, 0:43:03.120 --> 0:43:05.719 I'm not going to tell people that because I'm not. WOW. 0:43:05.840 --> 0:43:06.880 So he doesn't subscribe. 0:43:06.920 --> 0:43:07.520 He doesn'tscribe. 0:43:07.520 --> 0:43:10.600 He was misdiagnosed wow up until the time he's nineteen. 0:43:10.680 --> 0:43:12.560 He was diagnosed with that at sixteen. 0:43:12.800 --> 0:43:15.520 Is that why you say that sometimes you feel like 0:43:15.560 --> 0:43:16.720 he's like tricking you, like he's. 0:43:16.600 --> 0:43:18.400 Not sometimes feeling because he's so smart. 0:43:18.560 --> 0:43:21.480 Right, Because Dakoda, our two year old, was diagnosed as 0:43:21.520 --> 0:43:24.239 speech delayed. Yeah, and you know, we went to see 0:43:24.280 --> 0:43:26.200 a therapist. Of course, you know, all hands on deck. 0:43:26.239 --> 0:43:28.400 Now we're all talking to him every day, like Dakota. 0:43:29.520 --> 0:43:30.040 Here and check. 0:43:30.120 --> 0:43:32.120 We do all these things because of course, as a parent, 0:43:32.160 --> 0:43:34.319 you do your due diligence, you see, and make sure 0:43:34.360 --> 0:43:37.040 that your child is okay with all the resources. And 0:43:37.200 --> 0:43:39.040 after a couple of months, the Coda starts talking. And 0:43:39.120 --> 0:43:41.840 now he's talking up a storm, and we're thinking to ourselves, 0:43:42.360 --> 0:43:44.120 I think he duped us the whole time. And he's like, 0:43:44.640 --> 0:43:47.319 he's like, y'all mofos up in his house talking. I God, 0:43:47.400 --> 0:43:50.200 damn day, all seven of y'all because my parents live 0:43:50.239 --> 0:43:52.600 with us. So he's like between my parents talking asses, 0:43:52.880 --> 0:43:55.320 between my brothers giving me what I want, between my 0:43:55.400 --> 0:43:57.839 grandparents talking for me. Why do I have to talk? 0:43:58.080 --> 0:44:00.680 So it's funny how sometimes these children, we do all 0:44:00.719 --> 0:44:02.440 the things, and they have these labels they want to 0:44:02.440 --> 0:44:05.120 place on our black boys. But then it's like, no, baby, 0:44:05.239 --> 0:44:06.759 my baby, My baby knows what's going on. 0:44:07.080 --> 0:44:10.440 He's so he's so very smart. My son will recognize. 0:44:11.640 --> 0:44:14.840 We saw a basketball star from the seventies. He was 0:44:14.920 --> 0:44:17.560 crossing the street and Jeffrey goes, that's so and so, 0:44:17.719 --> 0:44:18.960 and he made this many. 0:44:20.280 --> 0:44:21.759 Three pointers in Then I was like, first of all, 0:44:21.800 --> 0:44:22.160 who is that? 0:44:22.960 --> 0:44:25.480 I was an all black man and I said, excuse me, sir, 0:44:25.640 --> 0:44:27.839 are you I can't remember his name and he said, 0:44:27.960 --> 0:44:30.359 yes I am, And I said my son, Like, can 0:44:30.400 --> 0:44:32.239 you take a picture of him? Because he knows you? 0:44:32.320 --> 0:44:35.480 And he was so like, I believe it. Jeffrey's just 0:44:35.560 --> 0:44:38.520 like he's just he knows all the stats and things. 0:44:38.600 --> 0:44:39.800 And at that point, you're like, you want to be 0:44:39.840 --> 0:44:42.480 on my show. I know it's like, oh you. 0:44:42.680 --> 0:44:46.200 Somebody, you somebody somebody, But yeah, a lot of times 0:44:46.239 --> 0:44:48.719 I feel Jeffrey. He's so smart in different things. But 0:44:49.320 --> 0:44:51.640 I also go, shiy, are you doing the right thing 0:44:52.239 --> 0:44:55.239 for Jeffrey? Are you too protective? Are you too? I've 0:44:55.280 --> 0:44:58.040 had to let go of a lot because I don't 0:44:58.120 --> 0:45:02.640 have a partner with me raised Jeffrey of really releasing him. 0:45:02.640 --> 0:45:04.160 My girlfriend. You always have to have a girlfriend that 0:45:04.320 --> 0:45:06.120 like talk to God like every day. 0:45:06.200 --> 0:45:06.640 She don't want to. 0:45:07.440 --> 0:45:09.800 She want to say God told me, and I literally 0:45:09.880 --> 0:45:12.240 she said to me, because I'm so protective of Jeffrey, 0:45:12.640 --> 0:45:15.279 And she said, God said to tell you you got 0:45:15.400 --> 0:45:17.799 to release him. And I said, what does that mean? 0:45:18.160 --> 0:45:22.480 She said, he said, who knows Jeffrey better his mother 0:45:22.800 --> 0:45:25.960 or the one who created him. You've got to release 0:45:26.080 --> 0:45:28.560 him to me. And so even moving out here to 0:45:28.680 --> 0:45:30.520 New York, I didn't want to do it because my 0:45:31.440 --> 0:45:34.960 village is in la And she said, God said, New 0:45:35.040 --> 0:45:37.280 York is not for you, Sherry, it is for Jeffrey. 0:45:37.360 --> 0:45:39.879 That is where he will find his independence. And when 0:45:39.880 --> 0:45:41.960 I tell you this boy walks to the bodega by himself, 0:45:42.520 --> 0:45:44.680 he picks he gets the ubers by himself. He done 0:45:44.719 --> 0:45:47.440 lost about ten of the house keys, and you know, 0:45:47.520 --> 0:45:48.080 Jeffrey's like. 0:45:48.040 --> 0:45:49.160 Well, whatever, we're going to another one. 0:45:49.160 --> 0:45:52.520 No, Jeffrey, were not behind gated community, you would get 0:45:52.600 --> 0:45:53.319 not to say, are. 0:45:53.239 --> 0:45:54.920 You the man that's just like, now everybody gonna get 0:45:54.960 --> 0:45:55.399 in my house? 0:45:55.480 --> 0:45:58.880 Yes, mother, I'm like everybody from prison. Don't take that 0:45:59.080 --> 0:46:00.960 uber and find those keys. 0:46:00.880 --> 0:46:03.359 And don't come up and kill everybody because you then 0:46:03.480 --> 0:46:04.880 lost it. And he's like, well then I won't get 0:46:04.880 --> 0:46:06.680 another one, and I get your mom thing to do. 0:46:06.800 --> 0:46:10.040 We always go to the worst case, the worst case baby. 0:46:10.040 --> 0:46:14.360 But he's so independent, Like he went to Times Square 0:46:14.400 --> 0:46:17.960 by himself, to daven Busters to play video games and 0:46:18.400 --> 0:46:22.200 like he and I'm like Jeffrey, and he's like, stop 0:46:22.440 --> 0:46:25.800 calling me. I'm fine, Stop texting me. And I texted 0:46:25.840 --> 0:46:28.120 him Kadeen, and I said, Jeffrey, I just wanted because 0:46:28.160 --> 0:46:29.760 he texted me. He said, I'm going to a restaurant. 0:46:29.920 --> 0:46:31.759 Because they don't money don't mean nothing because they got 0:46:31.760 --> 0:46:35.239 Apple pay. They think money falls from the phone. From 0:46:35.280 --> 0:46:36.920 the phone, he says, I'm going to get something to eat. 0:46:36.960 --> 0:46:39.920 So I was sitting here like this and I texted 0:46:39.960 --> 0:46:41.839 him and said, are you okay? And I called because 0:46:41.840 --> 0:46:43.959 he didn't answer. I says, it's everything okay. He goes, Mom, 0:46:44.239 --> 0:46:46.520 I don't call you when you're eating your lunch. Why 0:46:46.520 --> 0:46:47.960 are you calling me when I'm eating my lunch? 0:46:48.120 --> 0:46:49.000 Everything is fine? 0:46:49.040 --> 0:46:50.000 Why keep calling me? 0:46:50.400 --> 0:46:52.040 You got life through sixty on his phone job, I 0:46:52.120 --> 0:46:53.719 got life three six, I got. 0:46:53.719 --> 0:46:56.000 Life eight eighty, I got it all. Yeah, I got 0:46:56.560 --> 0:47:01.360 a lasting girl. When I tell you, I so just 0:47:01.760 --> 0:47:04.799 the letting go and letting. I've had to let men 0:47:04.920 --> 0:47:07.319 into his life because I'm not a man. So there's 0:47:07.360 --> 0:47:10.200 things that a man can teach Jeffrey that I just can't. 0:47:10.600 --> 0:47:12.000 I used to let that boy take a shower and 0:47:12.040 --> 0:47:13.960 put He puts the towel right above his dad on 0:47:14.680 --> 0:47:19.120 a yeah, and there was a man do Hughley or 0:47:19.200 --> 0:47:22.439 Cat Williams. Somebody was like, Sherry, he got to drop 0:47:22.480 --> 0:47:24.160 the towel, he got to drop the town put it 0:47:24.239 --> 0:47:24.720 on the stomach. 0:47:24.760 --> 0:47:26.720 And I said, well, I don't want Florid to get all. 0:47:26.640 --> 0:47:30.480 Wet, Sherry, Listen, we had an incident recently three days 0:47:30.480 --> 0:47:34.520 ago in our house. Jackson had a basketball game, okay, 0:47:34.960 --> 0:47:38.040 and Javal said, you know, he wasn't playing hard and 0:47:38.080 --> 0:47:40.080 he's gonna let these kids pump him. And he's growing 0:47:40.200 --> 0:47:42.160 up in this part of Georgia and he's not in 0:47:42.239 --> 0:47:42.880 the streets like I. 0:47:43.000 --> 0:47:45.239 Wasn't in Brooklyn. And I need to drop him off 0:47:45.280 --> 0:47:46.640 in a park in Brooklyn so he can get a 0:47:46.719 --> 0:47:47.080 man up. 0:47:47.520 --> 0:47:49.520 So he's carrying on after the game, right, And of 0:47:49.640 --> 0:47:51.799 course the mom is like, I just want to just hug, 0:47:52.040 --> 0:47:54.080 just hug them. Yes, some leting that Val do his things. 0:47:54.239 --> 0:47:56.520 I never want to underman mine a bad moment or 0:47:56.520 --> 0:47:58.759 a teachable moment in his eyes. And I've never been 0:47:58.800 --> 0:48:01.160 a boy before, but been a man, don't aspire to 0:48:01.200 --> 0:48:03.839 be one. So I'm like, listen, I'm going to let 0:48:04.080 --> 0:48:06.920 you know, lean on you for those moments. So they 0:48:06.960 --> 0:48:09.279 got we got home. I'm thinking everything is okay, but 0:48:09.360 --> 0:48:12.200 I'm noticing there's an air between Jackson and Deval. They're 0:48:12.239 --> 0:48:15.000 kind of passing each other the Vols pissed, you know. 0:48:15.080 --> 0:48:17.640 And then Jackson's kind of like walking through to because 0:48:17.640 --> 0:48:19.640 he's thirteen, so he's starting to feel himself a little right. 0:48:20.040 --> 0:48:22.520 So Deval leaves the gym sweaty, says he's going to 0:48:22.560 --> 0:48:24.480 take a shower. I said, all right, cool, I'll meet 0:48:24.520 --> 0:48:28.680 you upstairs. And then I hear like a rustling, tussling 0:48:28.800 --> 0:48:30.880 situation upstairs, and I'm like, these kids didn't go to 0:48:30.880 --> 0:48:32.239 bed dick Because I'm looking at the time, I'm like 0:48:32.239 --> 0:48:34.359 thinking it's hair own cash jumping off the bunk beds. 0:48:36.160 --> 0:48:39.920 Jackson and Devl from my point of view, are fighting, 0:48:41.040 --> 0:48:44.759 like physically fighting. So then my mom comes around the 0:48:44.800 --> 0:48:48.000 corner and she's like, we can't let this happen, and 0:48:48.120 --> 0:48:50.839 she's sprinting up the stairs and I'm like, Doesval what's 0:48:50.920 --> 0:48:53.759 going on? And as I'm like, literally, Jackson's on the floor, 0:48:53.800 --> 0:48:56.640 then Deval's on the floor, and they're fighting in my 0:48:56.800 --> 0:48:59.719 eyes and my mom's eyes. So we get upstairs and 0:48:59.760 --> 0:49:01.480 they go into Jackson's room and de Val closes the 0:49:01.520 --> 0:49:03.440 door and he was like, I'm having a moment with Jackson, 0:49:03.640 --> 0:49:06.040 leave us alone. So my mother busts through the door 0:49:06.040 --> 0:49:07.480 and she's like, you're not gonna do this. 0:49:07.640 --> 0:49:09.520 You're not doing this show my grandson. 0:49:09.880 --> 0:49:11.840 So de Val was just like, this is my house 0:49:12.160 --> 0:49:14.040 and now I'm gonna do what I want to do 0:49:14.160 --> 0:49:16.480 with my sons and if you can't respect that, and 0:49:16.600 --> 0:49:19.719 I was like, whoa, it became a thing, Sherry, right. 0:49:20.440 --> 0:49:24.799 So once everything calmed down after, Deval was like, did 0:49:24.880 --> 0:49:26.799 you really think that I was going to hurt our son. 0:49:27.040 --> 0:49:29.120 I've never raised the hand to you, never raised the 0:49:29.160 --> 0:49:30.800 hand to Our kids don't even get spanked. We're the 0:49:30.960 --> 0:49:33.359 parents that unlike what you said growing up, you don't 0:49:33.400 --> 0:49:35.000 look in the eye and you kind of just listen 0:49:35.080 --> 0:49:38.399 and you don't speak back. We have very candid, eye 0:49:38.440 --> 0:49:43.319 to eye locked in conversations with our boys. And he said, 0:49:43.360 --> 0:49:44.840 did you really think that I would do that? And 0:49:44.920 --> 0:49:47.000 I said, Deval, I said, I don't think you would 0:49:47.000 --> 0:49:50.160 do that. However, based on the tone for the day 0:49:51.120 --> 0:49:53.520 and what I heard and then seeing you guys looking 0:49:53.600 --> 0:49:55.800 like it wasn't like a little slack box and to me, 0:49:56.880 --> 0:49:59.240 I'm looking at y'all like y'all are tussling and fighting, 0:49:59.280 --> 0:50:01.800 and then he uses the relation between like a lion 0:50:02.120 --> 0:50:05.400 and a cub, and you know, the cub jumping on 0:50:05.480 --> 0:50:07.880 the lion and fighting him and then biting the lion, 0:50:07.960 --> 0:50:10.160 the daddy lion and guided lions like, oh my god, 0:50:10.239 --> 0:50:14.040 I'm so hurt, so that the lion cub can feel empowered, like, 0:50:14.120 --> 0:50:16.240 oh I beat my dad. Wow. 0:50:16.640 --> 0:50:19.239 I said, if we were having a lion king moment, 0:50:20.040 --> 0:50:22.480 and if I was supposed to be so robbie, you 0:50:22.520 --> 0:50:25.520 should let me know what's happening, like, like, let me know, given, 0:50:27.000 --> 0:50:29.520 so I can keep mom at bay, and then I 0:50:29.640 --> 0:50:31.600 can stay at Basically, y'all can have y'all moment, child, 0:50:31.640 --> 0:50:34.839 because from I'm looking up in the stairways, what I'm seeing, 0:50:35.080 --> 0:50:37.360 I'm seeing you tussling with my baby. So the first thing, 0:50:37.400 --> 0:50:39.560 as a mom I'm gonna do is run to his 0:50:39.719 --> 0:50:42.719 defense exactly. So in that moment, it was just so 0:50:42.840 --> 0:50:46.320 funny to me because I'm like, I can't teach Jackson. 0:50:46.040 --> 0:50:48.439 Certain things I would have never known, and I would 0:50:48.480 --> 0:50:51.000 have never known that that was the process. I have 0:50:51.200 --> 0:50:54.480 never known that a boy needs to feel empowered and 0:50:54.640 --> 0:50:58.239 that is a way that he can be because I'm 0:50:58.280 --> 0:50:59.080 a woman. 0:50:59.080 --> 0:51:00.600 That is confidence, so I'm gonna fight. 0:51:00.680 --> 0:51:04.680 Oh exactly. I teach Jeffrey how to avoid conflict and 0:51:04.800 --> 0:51:06.239 that's literally what moms do. 0:51:06.400 --> 0:51:08.200 And then, of course we spoke to mom after and 0:51:08.280 --> 0:51:10.680 devout apologize for raising his vote and all that, but 0:51:11.040 --> 0:51:14.239 my mom was like, we teach them to diffuse situations. 0:51:14.960 --> 0:51:17.600 Especially as a young black man growing up in America. 0:51:17.920 --> 0:51:19.960 You don't want to be the antagonizer. And dev I 0:51:20.080 --> 0:51:21.759 was like, yeah, but you also don't want to be 0:51:21.960 --> 0:51:25.480 someone's doormat. You have to walk around with a persona 0:51:25.600 --> 0:51:29.239 and a confidence that people know, don't mess with me. 0:51:29.840 --> 0:51:31.800 And it starts even on the basketball court. I'm like, 0:51:31.880 --> 0:51:33.759 I didn't know. I thought he was being a team player, Like, 0:51:33.880 --> 0:51:34.959 oh my gosh. 0:51:35.080 --> 0:51:36.839 That's why I'm at the basketball court when I see 0:51:36.880 --> 0:51:38.399 what I would see Jeffrey, and I'd be like, y'all 0:51:38.480 --> 0:51:40.840 talk to each other. Stop talking to each other like 0:51:40.960 --> 0:51:46.680 that be nice. And he was like, but that's that's 0:51:46.800 --> 0:51:47.200 the thing. 0:51:47.760 --> 0:51:48.239 That's it. 0:51:48.520 --> 0:51:52.480 You know why I had to allow men and I 0:51:52.560 --> 0:51:56.000 had to pray about that. Oh man, Lord put the 0:51:56.239 --> 0:51:59.520 right men in Jeffrey's life and you pray for the 0:51:59.560 --> 0:52:03.840 discernment to the discernment to allow them to you know, 0:52:03.880 --> 0:52:05.719 because I would have men that would say, Jeffrey, when 0:52:05.719 --> 0:52:07.759 I shake your hand, come on, look at. 0:52:07.680 --> 0:52:11.759 Me, tell me what your name is. Firm, I would say, oh, y'all. 0:52:12.400 --> 0:52:14.359 One a friend was teaching him, like how to ride 0:52:14.360 --> 0:52:16.279 a back and I was like, he can't ride that far. 0:52:16.760 --> 0:52:19.000 You talking about up the hills and downs and down 0:52:19.040 --> 0:52:22.000 the fact he only can go to a house. And 0:52:22.080 --> 0:52:24.040 then he came back. He was like, Mommy, we rode 0:52:24.160 --> 0:52:26.239 all the way to Kim Whitley's house. And I was like, 0:52:26.440 --> 0:52:29.279 that's ten of miles. What are you doing a match? 0:52:29.400 --> 0:52:31.160 And he was like he could do and do it. 0:52:31.680 --> 0:52:37.799 And men are the tears. Don't bother men. For us 0:52:38.080 --> 0:52:42.080 as mothers, we are that nurturing for sure, you know. 0:52:42.360 --> 0:52:45.160 And I've and it's speaking about that. We'll now we 0:52:45.280 --> 0:52:47.520 go home and go Jeffrey, come on, fight me, come on, 0:52:47.600 --> 0:52:51.560 fight me. He's gonna be right, this lady going on. 0:52:52.040 --> 0:52:55.439 But it's apparently like a known fact though, that when 0:52:55.760 --> 0:53:00.719 the boys are with their fathers that they get their oxytocin, 0:53:00.800 --> 0:53:03.560 which is that cuddle hormone, that that that yearn to 0:53:03.680 --> 0:53:08.920 be with their dad through play, fighting, playing sports, running 0:53:08.960 --> 0:53:12.200 and all that, whereas with moms they get that from 0:53:12.680 --> 0:53:15.680 cuddling and closeness and skin to skin. So it's a 0:53:15.840 --> 0:53:17.440 very different dynamic and. 0:53:17.880 --> 0:53:22.239 Serves such different purposes. See, he spent thirty days with 0:53:22.360 --> 0:53:25.480 his dad as camp counselor, and he didn't call me 0:53:25.560 --> 0:53:26.640 one time, And I was like, what did you and 0:53:26.680 --> 0:53:27.200 your daddy doing? 0:53:27.360 --> 0:53:27.480 Right? 0:53:27.640 --> 0:53:30.440 And his father was like, let I got him. 0:53:30.600 --> 0:53:32.800 He can do it. But see with you, bactly, he 0:53:32.880 --> 0:53:33.840 can't do it me. 0:53:33.960 --> 0:53:35.719 He won't do it, and they will. They will push that. 0:53:35.920 --> 0:53:38.319 Jackson's doing his laundry now, I said, you know, told 0:53:38.360 --> 0:53:40.800 my mom, I said, Jackson thirteen, I said, every Sunday 0:53:40.840 --> 0:53:43.040 or everybody wants to plan his schedule out. Yes, he's 0:53:43.080 --> 0:53:44.240 responsible for his laundry. 0:53:44.320 --> 0:53:44.440 Now. 0:53:45.440 --> 0:53:48.680 He already has so many responsibilities. And you're gonna make 0:53:48.760 --> 0:53:51.719 him do laundry too, Oh my goodness. But after I'm 0:53:51.800 --> 0:53:54.360 washing everybody's clothes, Why I can't just wash his close to, 0:53:54.920 --> 0:53:57.160 I said, Grandma, because you won't be at college to 0:53:57.320 --> 0:53:59.680 wash his draw wash. He needs to learn how to 0:53:59.719 --> 0:54:02.440 set rate, full drive, pack away and all that. Like 0:54:02.520 --> 0:54:05.719 we're trying to raise men so we're looking for a 0:54:05.760 --> 0:54:07.640 house for Mimi and Papa because we're like, listen, y'all 0:54:07.680 --> 0:54:10.040 are enabling these boys too much. And if the bell 0:54:10.040 --> 0:54:12.359 I got to fight them to get them to be men, 0:54:12.920 --> 0:54:15.520 because y'all hear, you know, waiting on them hand and foot, 0:54:15.600 --> 0:54:17.520 Then we're gonna have to figure out how to make 0:54:17.640 --> 0:54:20.400 this work. Well, Jeffrey, how do you even told the 0:54:20.440 --> 0:54:23.360 line between being like friend disciplinarian parents? Like how do 0:54:23.440 --> 0:54:25.040 you you navigate that? 0:54:25.480 --> 0:54:26.680 You know, it's funny because. 0:54:26.520 --> 0:54:28.320 It seems like it's pretty difficult for you, Sherry. 0:54:29.280 --> 0:54:30.520 But you know it's funny. 0:54:30.239 --> 0:54:34.520 Because I've raised Jeffrey to speak sometimes. I didn't raised 0:54:34.520 --> 0:54:36.560 them to speak too much because I came from a 0:54:36.600 --> 0:54:41.560 place like when we say that's enough, you stop. Jeffrey's like, yeah, 0:54:41.560 --> 0:54:43.640 but Mom, why But you know, but I saw you 0:54:43.880 --> 0:54:47.680 do this, and I'm like, okay, now you're pulling up receipts, Jeffrey, Ah, 0:54:47.680 --> 0:54:50.200 you're pulling up receipts in the way I was. I can't, Oh, 0:54:50.440 --> 0:54:52.799 why do I let you have this freedom to talk 0:54:52.880 --> 0:54:53.160 to me? 0:54:53.440 --> 0:54:53.760 Baby? 0:54:53.960 --> 0:54:56.040 But you know it's so funny because I do feel 0:54:56.120 --> 0:54:59.160 like at some point Jeffrey and I we are close 0:54:59.320 --> 0:55:02.200 like that. We are close like friends, but he still 0:55:02.280 --> 0:55:05.520 knows I'm your mother, you know. And there's sometimes I'll 0:55:05.600 --> 0:55:07.520 let Jeffrey he wants to tell me a story, but 0:55:07.600 --> 0:55:10.120 they cursed, and I go, Jeffrey, you can curse. You 0:55:10.200 --> 0:55:13.560 can say the curse and you will fly with the 0:55:13.600 --> 0:55:15.960 curse words. And I'm like, Okay, now it's enough, Jeffrey. 0:55:16.320 --> 0:55:18.480 But Jeffrey will come and tell me when he you know, 0:55:18.600 --> 0:55:21.239 like a girl. He likes and we do, and I 0:55:21.520 --> 0:55:23.880 like him to talk because I say, Jeffrey, you got 0:55:24.040 --> 0:55:26.520 to tell me stuff because I can't protect you if 0:55:26.560 --> 0:55:29.640 I don't know. And it keeps me involved. So I'm 0:55:29.760 --> 0:55:33.600 very thankful for that. But raising a boy is you 0:55:33.719 --> 0:55:37.239 know who I'm thankful for boy rather because girls are 0:55:37.400 --> 0:55:42.040 are something they have issues. But it has been such 0:55:42.080 --> 0:55:45.000 a it has been such a wonderful journey, and I've 0:55:45.080 --> 0:55:52.320 definitely needed God, you know, for me. With Jeffrey Darling. 0:55:52.640 --> 0:55:54.560 I let him use the bathroom. Will It took me 0:55:54.560 --> 0:55:55.920 a long time to let him go to the bathroom 0:55:55.920 --> 0:55:57.360 by himself. I find a man to go. Can you 0:55:57.440 --> 0:55:58.880 go in there and make sure my son. 0:55:58.760 --> 0:56:01.359 Is exactly baby, I'll I'm still trying to take Jackson 0:56:01.400 --> 0:56:03.440 to the woman's bathroom and he's like, Mom, I'm thirteen now, 0:56:03.480 --> 0:56:05.840 I said, just predators everywhere. Just with that. 0:56:06.000 --> 0:56:08.359 It was at about thirteen, Jeffrey said, I'm not going 0:56:08.440 --> 0:56:11.239 in there, mom, with the with the girls. And then 0:56:11.360 --> 0:56:14.279 somebody told me Jesus is always a comic. They say, 0:56:14.360 --> 0:56:17.399 you gotta let Jeffrey his pants aren't supposed to hang 0:56:17.480 --> 0:56:18.959 down fall to the floor. 0:56:19.120 --> 0:56:21.319 Sherry and I said, what are you talking about? Because 0:56:21.320 --> 0:56:22.439 they went in the tower. 0:56:22.680 --> 0:56:24.239 It was the town. He was like, he can't let 0:56:24.320 --> 0:56:26.759 his butt be showing in the puppy bathroom and I 0:56:26.840 --> 0:56:28.759 said I didn't know because I didn't want him. 0:56:28.800 --> 0:56:32.760 I was teaching him to aim for the cheerios the toilet. 0:56:33.040 --> 0:56:35.400 I didn't want the pants, and he so to go 0:56:35.440 --> 0:56:37.239 and down was like, Jeffrey, pull up your pants when 0:56:37.280 --> 0:56:39.520 you go to I said, well, a least I wouldn't 0:56:39.520 --> 0:56:40.920 like somebody else. And they made him sit on the 0:56:41.000 --> 0:56:41.920 toilet at. 0:56:41.880 --> 0:56:44.239 Lisa, Lisa can stand up girl. 0:56:44.360 --> 0:56:46.200 Let me say, we have a bathroom in our house 0:56:46.440 --> 0:56:48.720 that we call I call it the gas station bathroom 0:56:49.200 --> 0:56:51.120 because it's the one bathroom in the house that the 0:56:51.160 --> 0:56:54.760 boys and my dad used Austin. I never send guests 0:56:54.800 --> 0:56:57.479 there or anything. I will never know what you're gonna 0:56:57.520 --> 0:57:01.160 walk in to sit on, you know. So that's the 0:57:01.280 --> 0:57:03.080 gas station bathroom I make. 0:57:03.160 --> 0:57:07.000 Jeffrey he washes his clothes by himself, except he always 0:57:07.040 --> 0:57:10.680 throws it. He never takes. I keep saying, check the dryer, 0:57:10.880 --> 0:57:12.839 because my stuff is in there. Girl. He then threw 0:57:12.960 --> 0:57:17.440 towels in there with my stuff, his clothes. Ohtak My 0:57:17.520 --> 0:57:21.560 stuff then shrunk. But he cleans his bathroom every Saturday. 0:57:21.640 --> 0:57:23.960 He's got a bucket and the gloves. And I make 0:57:24.160 --> 0:57:27.040 because I said, you're not gonna have some woman saying 0:57:27.080 --> 0:57:31.880 to you, you're nasty ass, quick. 0:57:31.720 --> 0:57:34.360 To blame, blame us, to blame the mother devalles miss, 0:57:34.400 --> 0:57:36.280 the social butterfly. And you know there's a select few 0:57:36.320 --> 0:57:37.880 of people that he will invite by the house. And 0:57:37.920 --> 0:57:39.280 I said, can you at least give me a head 0:57:39.400 --> 0:57:41.160 up when someone's coming by a so I'm not just 0:57:41.280 --> 0:57:43.600 in my braw right. And then too, because if someone 0:57:43.680 --> 0:57:45.400 comes to your house and you're not accommodating, you're not 0:57:45.440 --> 0:57:46.880 a good host, or things are out of place, they're 0:57:46.880 --> 0:57:49.560 not gonna blame you the exactly you as if I'm 0:57:49.560 --> 0:57:52.439 not over here juggling all the things you've been working out. 0:57:52.360 --> 0:57:55.800 Sherry, though, girl just came from the gym. You see here, 0:57:56.400 --> 0:57:57.920 you've been locked in. I've been locked in. 0:57:58.200 --> 0:57:59.760 Was like a turning point for you where you were 0:57:59.760 --> 0:58:00.960 just like, O, I got to lock in. I know 0:58:01.040 --> 0:58:03.280 you struggle with the diabetes thing, and you know all 0:58:03.360 --> 0:58:06.280 that get in controlled, so locked into your health. 0:58:06.920 --> 0:58:08.960 Yeah, I get locked into my health because, Jeffrey said, 0:58:08.960 --> 0:58:12.400 because I'm also a type two diabetic, diabetes runs in 0:58:12.520 --> 0:58:15.640 my family. You know I have, We've lost family members 0:58:16.080 --> 0:58:19.640 to diabetes, and so I'm very passionate about that. And 0:58:19.760 --> 0:58:22.240 I just realized. Jeffrey said to me one time, Kaden, 0:58:22.760 --> 0:58:24.640 I think I was eating a candy bar or something 0:58:24.680 --> 0:58:26.760 because I was stressed out. I'm a stress eater. And 0:58:26.880 --> 0:58:30.000 he said, Mommy, Mommy, if you die, who's going to 0:58:30.040 --> 0:58:30.840 be my bodyguard? 0:58:30.960 --> 0:58:31.280 Oh? No? 0:58:31.840 --> 0:58:34.360 And I said what? Because when I eat chocolate raising 0:58:34.400 --> 0:58:36.080 my blood sugar and then I get eared of bil. 0:58:36.080 --> 0:58:37.280 I was like, what are you talking about? He goes, 0:58:37.440 --> 0:58:38.840 if you die, who's going to take care of me? 0:58:39.280 --> 0:58:41.360 And that really hit me, wow, because I lost my 0:58:41.440 --> 0:58:44.280 mother when I was in my early twenties. Twenty two 0:58:44.640 --> 0:58:46.920 she was forty one. Wow, she was very young when 0:58:46.920 --> 0:58:49.760 she passed away, and she left a girl to raise 0:58:49.800 --> 0:58:51.880 her two sisters who didn't know what she was doing. 0:58:51.920 --> 0:58:53.240 I don't know what I was doing by myself, but 0:58:53.320 --> 0:58:55.000 I had to learn to learn because my mother was 0:58:55.120 --> 0:58:58.720 not there. And I love people who have their mothers 0:58:58.840 --> 0:59:01.400 in their lives. There's so many times I would love 0:59:01.440 --> 0:59:03.280 to call my mother and go, what do I do? 0:59:04.920 --> 0:59:05.080 Well? 0:59:05.120 --> 0:59:09.720 We could be friends now, but I'm very passionate about 0:59:09.800 --> 0:59:13.040 my health because to me, it's like it ain't about 0:59:13.080 --> 0:59:16.880 fitting in a size six gens or putting on a bikini. 0:59:17.240 --> 0:59:20.600 It's literally I look at that boy, Jeffrey, and I go, 0:59:20.720 --> 0:59:22.960 I need to be here. We were talking about because 0:59:23.000 --> 0:59:25.840 my father has dementia and he's in a facility that 0:59:25.960 --> 0:59:27.800 we care for him. And I said, Jeffrey, I was 0:59:27.840 --> 0:59:31.919 explaining what Alzheimer's was, and he said, so that means 0:59:31.960 --> 0:59:33.000 you might not remember me? 0:59:33.720 --> 0:59:35.080 And I said, no, no, Jeffrey, I don't. 0:59:35.120 --> 0:59:37.000 I don't have that. He said, oh good, because I 0:59:37.000 --> 0:59:38.720 don't know what I would do if you couldn't remember me. 0:59:39.280 --> 0:59:42.880 And it was just like it was again those moment confirmation, Sure, 0:59:42.920 --> 0:59:44.720 you gotta do whatever you can do to take care 0:59:44.720 --> 0:59:47.040 of your health, and then you're trusting in God for sure. 0:59:47.360 --> 0:59:50.320 I'm so you know at this age, girl, welcome to 0:59:50.360 --> 0:59:52.400 the club. You're gonna be wiser, not say no, it's 0:59:52.400 --> 0:59:54.400 all those great things, but it's also then you're gonna 0:59:54.400 --> 0:59:57.440 realize your muscle start to melt. Unless you do heavyweight, anyweight, 0:59:57.920 --> 1:00:00.320 you gonna have more protein in your life. It's like 1:00:00.480 --> 1:00:02.640 my timeline on Instagram is not feel. 1:00:02.520 --> 1:00:04.640 With people who like okay SOUTHIEK. 1:00:04.800 --> 1:00:08.120 My timeline is you need more magnesium, you need potassium. 1:00:08.320 --> 1:00:10.680 These are the foot exercises you do when you wake up, 1:00:10.920 --> 1:00:14.760 just lower backstretches. Just when you got your hips is 1:00:14.800 --> 1:00:16.760 too tight. I'm like, oh my god, I ain't gonna 1:00:16.760 --> 1:00:19.720 be to use my hips just sex. Like that's what 1:00:19.880 --> 1:00:22.120 my timeline is. It's like all of like this is 1:00:22.120 --> 1:00:25.000 what you should say, like low carbs, high protein. 1:00:25.160 --> 1:00:27.520 That is what my right before you came in down 1:00:27.600 --> 1:00:29.560 like I don't get my side bowl because you know, 1:00:29.720 --> 1:00:31.480 thank you, we can't even eat the things when you 1:00:31.480 --> 1:00:33.520 said I ordered French toast and bacon this morning for him. 1:00:33.560 --> 1:00:34.680 He had one bite and that was it. 1:00:34.840 --> 1:00:38.600 That's it. Now Now it's like it's it's about taking 1:00:38.680 --> 1:00:39.400 care of your health. 1:00:39.560 --> 1:00:41.480 And it's internally internally. 1:00:41.880 --> 1:00:44.440 So it's great the perks I being able to wear 1:00:44.520 --> 1:00:48.080 great things, but if you're not internally. 1:00:47.600 --> 1:00:48.840 Feeling good, that's a fact. 1:00:48.880 --> 1:00:51.320 It's hard to take care of everybody else. It's hard 1:00:51.360 --> 1:00:54.040 to deal with with, you know, because Black women are 1:00:54.120 --> 1:00:58.840 having more heart attacks because of stress and and because my. 1:00:58.920 --> 1:01:02.960 Mom hell and that's stress and too young. Stress and 1:01:03.000 --> 1:01:05.560 stress induce because we as. 1:01:05.800 --> 1:01:09.040 Black women, we handle so much. We have to take 1:01:09.080 --> 1:01:11.920 care of our immediate family and then the rest of 1:01:12.000 --> 1:01:14.400 the family. And if you the one that has made it, 1:01:15.160 --> 1:01:16.320 everybody calls. 1:01:16.640 --> 1:01:20.800 You know what, I call myself elmer, and that's it 1:01:21.160 --> 1:01:24.880 the glue, because you're holding everybody and that's very, very stressful. 1:01:25.160 --> 1:01:27.400 I go through it with my family. I go through it, 1:01:27.520 --> 1:01:30.440 you know, and then people who just need you and 1:01:30.720 --> 1:01:31.480 call on you, and. 1:01:31.520 --> 1:01:33.280 It's like and it's the desire to want to be 1:01:33.360 --> 1:01:35.760 there to show up for them. However you can't because. 1:01:35.560 --> 1:01:37.960 You feel guilty that you made it, and then you're 1:01:38.000 --> 1:01:40.320 doing it's just so many of we're still trying to 1:01:40.360 --> 1:01:44.240 make a girl still and when people from my family 1:01:44.360 --> 1:01:45.280 like girl can cuzzo. 1:01:45.400 --> 1:01:48.440 That's what cuzzo, Auntie. I'm like this what I got 1:01:48.560 --> 1:01:49.160 to do with this money? 1:01:49.240 --> 1:01:52.640 This money, this money, But we have to treat our 1:01:52.720 --> 1:01:57.080 bodies special in order to even deal with stress. And 1:01:57.240 --> 1:01:59.560 so I just said, you know what, Sherry, I don't 1:01:59.560 --> 1:02:03.040 want to be the person that wishes I would have 1:02:03.320 --> 1:02:07.080 prioritized my health or wishes I would have done things different. 1:02:07.680 --> 1:02:10.880 Why don't I do it now? And every day I 1:02:11.000 --> 1:02:13.080 say God, thank you for giving me another chance to 1:02:13.160 --> 1:02:16.720 get this right. And it's not like I was at 1:02:16.720 --> 1:02:18.240 a place where I didn't like going to the gym, 1:02:18.520 --> 1:02:20.240 and I said, I want to get to that place 1:02:20.240 --> 1:02:23.200 where I yearned for the gym. I want to get 1:02:23.200 --> 1:02:25.520 to that place where it's like So I've even changed 1:02:25.560 --> 1:02:28.000 my the way I speak, because I used to always say, oh, 1:02:28.080 --> 1:02:29.560 I hate going to the gym, but I gotta do it. 1:02:29.920 --> 1:02:32.960 Now I go. Lord, thank you for giving me the 1:02:33.040 --> 1:02:36.600 opportunity to treat my body right. Thank you for for 1:02:36.680 --> 1:02:38.800 the ability to move. Thank you that you blessing me 1:02:38.840 --> 1:02:40.840 to lift these weights. Lord, blessed me to have a 1:02:40.880 --> 1:02:43.520 good time when I go to the gym, because it's 1:02:43.520 --> 1:02:45.160 some stuff. I'm just like, there's this one that you 1:02:45.240 --> 1:02:48.640 got to do for your booty come down exactly. 1:02:48.840 --> 1:02:50.720 And I'm like, I have heard tight for me, my 1:02:50.840 --> 1:02:52.600 hip flexes be too tight. And I was like, you've 1:02:52.600 --> 1:02:54.560 been stretching lately, though, I said, how could you tell. 1:02:56.080 --> 1:02:57.360 Them? Hip flexes ain't nothing. 1:02:58.040 --> 1:03:00.040 It's like last Tuesday, I can't open. 1:03:00.200 --> 1:03:02.320 Lex and when the lower back starts to hurt in 1:03:02.400 --> 1:03:03.200 the lower at the. 1:03:03.200 --> 1:03:04.760 Point now where we even go to hotels, and I'm 1:03:04.800 --> 1:03:07.440 like that bed was a good babys a bad matcher 1:03:07.800 --> 1:03:08.640 when I tell you so. 1:03:08.840 --> 1:03:11.120 And even when I go to barbecue's family functions, you 1:03:11.200 --> 1:03:12.440 know when you used to do them little things and 1:03:12.520 --> 1:03:14.880 you tell your nieces, I can do a back bed, baby, 1:03:15.080 --> 1:03:16.960 I'm went like this, and I said, oh oh oh, 1:03:17.320 --> 1:03:18.160 we can't do the bridge. 1:03:18.200 --> 1:03:19.800 Now, I can't do a split like I used. 1:03:19.840 --> 1:03:21.800 I try to do a little round off, but I said, ooh, 1:03:21.880 --> 1:03:22.520 my wrisk. 1:03:22.480 --> 1:03:24.200 No no, no, this a couple of days to recover 1:03:24.280 --> 1:03:24.920 from one things. 1:03:25.720 --> 1:03:30.000 So, yes, health is important to me because also to 1:03:30.200 --> 1:03:33.360 do what God has called you to do, you've got 1:03:33.520 --> 1:03:34.240 to be healthy. 1:03:34.360 --> 1:03:36.840 It's part of the process. It's part of what he's 1:03:36.920 --> 1:03:38.080 requiring from you as well. 1:03:38.360 --> 1:03:42.400 Because it's gonna take a lot of energy to walk 1:03:42.520 --> 1:03:45.040 in that purpose, yes, and he don't want you breathing 1:03:45.160 --> 1:03:47.959 hard and you can't tie your shoe, and you sitting 1:03:47.960 --> 1:03:51.000 there feeling like, oh my gosh, that's not what his will. 1:03:50.920 --> 1:03:51.240 Is for you. 1:03:51.360 --> 1:03:54.760 It's for you to be healthy. And so I'm just like, 1:03:54.840 --> 1:03:57.840 make the changes now, sharey, so that when you so 1:03:57.960 --> 1:03:59.160 you can proudly say I'm. 1:03:59.040 --> 1:04:02.240 Fifties, then you're gonna be like, I'm seventy seven. 1:04:03.120 --> 1:04:05.520 Grand follow women. I follow women at the seventy eight 1:04:05.720 --> 1:04:09.960 me Girlnaty dancing any draws. I'm like this, old ladies 1:04:10.600 --> 1:04:15.320 that's seventy eight years old. Be like muchels lean all that. 1:04:15.520 --> 1:04:28.320 When I'm telling you, girl, So, as we wrap things up, 1:04:30.080 --> 1:04:33.200 who would you say your career or your life so 1:04:33.360 --> 1:04:34.840 far has been a love letter to. 1:04:36.360 --> 1:04:41.800 Oh my goodness, I would say Jeffrey. Of course everybody knows. 1:04:41.880 --> 1:04:45.640 But I would say my mother because my mother never 1:04:45.920 --> 1:04:50.640 got to see this. My mother saw the struggle. My 1:04:50.760 --> 1:04:55.720 mother saw me because she was she was so sick. 1:04:55.760 --> 1:04:58.400 So I would have to drive from La to San Bernardino, 1:04:58.440 --> 1:05:01.160 which is an hour and a half every night to 1:05:01.320 --> 1:05:03.120 drive her around because that's the only way she would 1:05:03.120 --> 1:05:05.400 go to sleep for hours. I would drive my mother around. 1:05:05.680 --> 1:05:08.840 I was always with her at the hospital, and so 1:05:09.040 --> 1:05:10.800 then I would drive back to LA because I had 1:05:10.800 --> 1:05:12.400 to go to work, and then I had to hit 1:05:12.400 --> 1:05:15.400 a comedy club at nighttime. So she's my mother saw 1:05:15.600 --> 1:05:19.360 that the struggle. So when I do things, I do 1:05:19.520 --> 1:05:21.680 it because I go, mam, can you see me? 1:05:21.800 --> 1:05:23.680 Sometimes I go Laverne and I go ooh, I'm sorry. 1:05:23.680 --> 1:05:29.400 I just want to try answer mine. I want to 1:05:29.400 --> 1:05:31.360 see if I can use your first name. But I 1:05:31.880 --> 1:05:34.320 do it for my mother because she just didn't get 1:05:34.360 --> 1:05:37.880 to see this. And I hope that she's looking and 1:05:38.000 --> 1:05:40.400 she's very proud of me, and I hope that she's 1:05:40.440 --> 1:05:42.600 proud of me as a mother and as a sister. 1:05:43.520 --> 1:05:45.560 And you know, do you think she'd be surprised that 1:05:45.720 --> 1:05:47.480 like her little shy Sherry or did she get to 1:05:47.520 --> 1:05:49.960 see Sherry being a little bit more ongoing before her passing. 1:05:50.160 --> 1:05:51.920 I hope that, I you know, it's really because I 1:05:52.040 --> 1:05:54.440 lost her so early, we never got to the friendship 1:05:54.560 --> 1:05:57.960 portion we still were at the I was the child, 1:05:58.640 --> 1:06:02.320 you're the mother, and I became the caretaker, so I 1:06:03.080 --> 1:06:07.520 never really got to see who my mother was as 1:06:07.640 --> 1:06:11.520 a woman. My mother gave up everything, Like my dad 1:06:11.640 --> 1:06:14.080 slept with my mother on a dare. He was a jock. 1:06:14.600 --> 1:06:18.320 She was very studious and very shy, didn't talk to 1:06:18.360 --> 1:06:21.760 anybody from six kids, and it was a dare that 1:06:21.800 --> 1:06:23.520 because she had a crush on her. It was a dare. 1:06:24.440 --> 1:06:27.040 But she got pregnant the very first time. Wow, And 1:06:27.120 --> 1:06:30.840 everybody wanted her to aboord, thank you Lord. She did not, 1:06:31.720 --> 1:06:35.480 and she was forced to get married to my dad. 1:06:35.680 --> 1:06:36.360 I have pictures. 1:06:36.400 --> 1:06:39.000 I found pictures of her, and she looked so scared 1:06:39.120 --> 1:06:42.120 at eighteen years old, and her mother in law looked 1:06:42.160 --> 1:06:43.520 a because my mother in law didn't like it, just 1:06:43.720 --> 1:06:45.080 was looking at it like you ain't good enough on 1:06:45.160 --> 1:06:48.920 my side, So telling the pictures and she was so scared, 1:06:49.040 --> 1:06:50.920 and so she wanted to be a doctor, and she 1:06:51.160 --> 1:06:54.200 never got. She stayed and she took care of her family, 1:06:54.360 --> 1:06:57.960 her three girls, but she never got to fulfill her dreams. 1:06:58.200 --> 1:07:01.479 Which is why I'm so passionate about for my show, 1:07:02.000 --> 1:07:06.000 wanting to inspire women to take hold of a dream 1:07:06.680 --> 1:07:09.200 that you put on the fine with the fine china 1:07:09.320 --> 1:07:12.320 on that shelf, and it's been dusty, and you've been scared, 1:07:12.480 --> 1:07:15.920 and that thing on your face like this says, who 1:07:15.960 --> 1:07:18.240 do you think? Who do you think you are? Yeah, 1:07:18.960 --> 1:07:21.240 it's like you're not You're not good enough, you're not 1:07:21.320 --> 1:07:23.520 smart enough, you're too fat, you're too skinny, you're not 1:07:24.080 --> 1:07:27.520 that voice, and you never reached for it. And because 1:07:27.560 --> 1:07:30.280 of my mom, I want to inspire women that we 1:07:30.520 --> 1:07:34.920 see you, that life is short. Try it. I always say, 1:07:35.080 --> 1:07:37.800 on the other side of fear are we're all the 1:07:37.920 --> 1:07:42.280 blessings lines. So I do this really for my mother. 1:07:42.440 --> 1:07:48.160 Laverne era shepherd maiden named worried. Wow, that's beautiful my mommy. 1:07:48.280 --> 1:07:50.320 I'm sure, Yeah, I'm sure mom is up there. Just 1:07:50.720 --> 1:07:51.520 that's my baby. 1:07:51.720 --> 1:07:52.920 I hope it. 1:07:53.120 --> 1:07:55.280 Girl. Everybody keeps saying, you know, I asked got when 1:07:55.280 --> 1:07:57.440 I see a white butterfly, Kim Whitley says this all 1:07:57.480 --> 1:07:59.240 the time. When I see a white butterfly, I know 1:07:59.320 --> 1:08:01.240 that's my mother. That people always say. You know. 1:08:01.320 --> 1:08:03.000 I heard the song and I knew that was my mother, 1:08:03.080 --> 1:08:05.320 and I go, Lord, can you bless my mother to 1:08:05.400 --> 1:08:05.840 do something? 1:08:05.920 --> 1:08:06.560 Give me a sign. 1:08:06.760 --> 1:08:08.280 I slipped and sail and had a light pole. 1:08:08.360 --> 1:08:12.760 I was like, that's my dead MoMA. I told you 1:08:12.920 --> 1:08:16.160 not to walk that way. Tabitha Brown has the dimes. 1:08:16.200 --> 1:08:18.960 Have you heard the story about her brown has done. 1:08:19.240 --> 1:08:19.479 Yeah. 1:08:19.560 --> 1:08:21.439 I always I always ask my grandmother too, because I 1:08:21.600 --> 1:08:23.880 lost one in March and another one years before I 1:08:24.040 --> 1:08:26.120 got a little before I got married, And I always like, 1:08:26.240 --> 1:08:28.000 just visit me in my dreams. Do something, bit me, 1:08:28.080 --> 1:08:29.759 do something, do something, show me something. 1:08:29.800 --> 1:08:32.400 I'm always going, Mama, how do I handle this situation? 1:08:32.560 --> 1:08:34.600 It'll be silent, and I'm like, Lord, can you just 1:08:35.120 --> 1:08:37.160 I know she's having a good time up there, just say, 1:08:37.520 --> 1:08:39.320 just tell Sherry Needer for a little just a little bit, 1:08:39.400 --> 1:08:41.439 cause she come away from the party for a minute, just. 1:08:41.520 --> 1:08:43.439 A little bit. She's having a grando time. 1:08:43.640 --> 1:08:44.120 I love that. 1:08:44.640 --> 1:08:46.080 And in the vein of of course, this is a 1:08:46.160 --> 1:08:48.000 day with k But you know, of course dead ass 1:08:48.120 --> 1:08:51.000 is the brand for us. Tell me something you're. 1:08:50.880 --> 1:08:51.519 Dead ass about. 1:08:51.560 --> 1:08:53.080 I mean, you're in New York, you know what the 1:08:53.120 --> 1:08:56.000 phrase means. So I'm dead ass about. 1:08:57.080 --> 1:09:01.560 You know, I'm dead ass about living lighte and enjoying 1:09:02.400 --> 1:09:08.360 every moment and being present to every moment I am. 1:09:08.920 --> 1:09:14.920 I'm like dad ass about really making a difference, whether 1:09:15.080 --> 1:09:19.520 it be a smile, whether it be just talking to somebody. 1:09:20.840 --> 1:09:23.360 That's what it is all about for me. It's like life, 1:09:23.640 --> 1:09:25.559 if we didn't learn anything from being in the house 1:09:25.600 --> 1:09:28.880 for almost two years and losing people that we love, 1:09:29.360 --> 1:09:32.640 it's to step out and do things bigger and to 1:09:33.120 --> 1:09:36.920 dream bigger, Like what else can we How can we 1:09:37.040 --> 1:09:40.120 be of service and love? That's what I'm about this 1:09:40.280 --> 1:09:43.759 political season. It's like, we gotta we got to infuse 1:09:43.840 --> 1:09:47.800 more love in all the in this whole political season 1:09:47.840 --> 1:09:52.120 because when we are losing it, And that's what I'm 1:09:52.200 --> 1:09:54.400 Dad asked about about, how can I how can I love? 1:09:55.040 --> 1:09:57.080 How can I be of service? And just love may 1:09:57.240 --> 1:09:58.080 make people feel better? 1:09:58.200 --> 1:10:00.320 Well, this is one of those moments. This is one 1:10:00.320 --> 1:10:03.320 of those moments where I thank you, Sherry. You have 1:10:03.439 --> 1:10:05.519 no idea what this means to me, because it's not 1:10:05.640 --> 1:10:09.400 often that you find women who can can can build together, 1:10:09.439 --> 1:10:12.080 who can grow together, who can mentor each other and 1:10:12.320 --> 1:10:14.800 not feel threatened by each other, but just love on 1:10:14.920 --> 1:10:17.720 each other in whatever process is. Because I'm a firm 1:10:17.800 --> 1:10:20.519 believer that what God has in place for me is 1:10:20.800 --> 1:10:23.280 always gonna be for me. It's not nobody's gonna take it, 1:10:23.400 --> 1:10:24.160 No one's gonna take it. 1:10:25.680 --> 1:10:30.680 Reason to be threatened, because He's got a purpose for 1:10:30.880 --> 1:10:35.240 everybody everyone. There is a uniqueness about you, KaDee that 1:10:35.439 --> 1:10:38.799 I don't have, but what I have you don't have exactly, 1:10:38.800 --> 1:10:41.519 and he's going to use it all because he gave 1:10:41.600 --> 1:10:44.760 it to us. So it's like I love because I've 1:10:44.800 --> 1:10:47.599 been through women who wouldn't support me, who I've asked, 1:10:47.640 --> 1:10:49.479 can you tell me? I'm trying to do this talk show. 1:10:49.600 --> 1:10:51.400 I don't even know how much money to ask for 1:10:52.200 --> 1:10:54.080 and what to do and how to navigate. I feel 1:10:54.080 --> 1:10:56.200 like I will share that when you get a deal 1:10:56.640 --> 1:10:58.200 and you want to call me and go, Sherry, I 1:10:58.240 --> 1:11:00.559 don't know if this is the money I'm supposed to go. Girl, 1:11:01.000 --> 1:11:01.360 here's what. 1:11:01.479 --> 1:11:05.040 You no not before, not you, but somebody who's coming on. 1:11:05.120 --> 1:11:07.479 How much money make you ain't none of your business, right, 1:11:07.600 --> 1:11:10.320 but doing what you do, I'm going I gotta tell 1:11:10.360 --> 1:11:12.680 you because this is and then you're gonna tell the 1:11:12.800 --> 1:11:16.479 next person the person word. We gotta pays forward. 1:11:16.600 --> 1:11:17.280 That's how we think. 1:11:17.360 --> 1:11:20.160 So we have to support each other. It's to you 1:11:20.360 --> 1:11:23.200 can't be like this and get blessed. It has to 1:11:23.320 --> 1:11:27.400 be like this because you got to step up away, y'all. 1:11:27.840 --> 1:11:29.880 You know Oprah when she gave me like she was 1:11:29.960 --> 1:11:31.479 like I'm passing the torch to you. 1:11:31.680 --> 1:11:35.120 I was like, that was your first story, you said 1:11:35.160 --> 1:11:36.040 for story show. 1:11:36.320 --> 1:11:39.240 But it's like you, it's it's it's your time, and 1:11:39.800 --> 1:11:42.000 what what what would it be fit me to be 1:11:42.080 --> 1:11:44.920 trying to block you. I'd rather be helping you. And 1:11:45.000 --> 1:11:46.479 God remembers that. So when I get in it and 1:11:46.560 --> 1:11:48.960 I'm like on the cusp because Saint Peter won't let 1:11:49.000 --> 1:11:49.719 me bring. 1:11:49.640 --> 1:11:52.439 Her one back and be like I helped her, and 1:11:52.600 --> 1:12:00.120 I'll I'll be from below like she okay, well, so 1:12:00.280 --> 1:12:03.639 any anything, I love. 1:12:03.600 --> 1:12:07.000 You so much for you for this time. I had 1:12:07.040 --> 1:12:08.840 to cut it because it's like we could talk. 1:12:08.880 --> 1:12:14.120 Through this day. You're gonna get this from everybody. This 1:12:14.280 --> 1:12:16.320 is not just gonna be me. It's because you're so 1:12:16.520 --> 1:12:19.680 good and you allow people to feel comfortable and be 1:12:19.800 --> 1:12:21.639 I've never talked about my mom like this. You allow 1:12:21.680 --> 1:12:25.760 people to be comfortable and wherever they're at, that's what 1:12:25.920 --> 1:12:28.040 you bring. You bring a peace, you bring a comfort, 1:12:28.080 --> 1:12:29.200 you bring a sister girl. 1:12:29.479 --> 1:12:30.160 I love that. 1:12:30.640 --> 1:12:33.160 That's the energy that I feel. So I guess it 1:12:33.240 --> 1:12:35.360 makes sense that when you are around people, you could 1:12:35.360 --> 1:12:38.439 feel that energy and space to open up. And I 1:12:38.520 --> 1:12:39.360 don't take that for girl. 1:12:39.400 --> 1:12:41.360 I'm excited for what God is going to do for you. 1:12:41.439 --> 1:12:47.800 I appreciate that I don't even want to let me, 1:12:48.920 --> 1:12:53.840 let me thank you so much. Of course, A day 1:12:53.880 --> 1:12:54.639 with k Baby. 1:12:55.040 --> 1:12:56.400 Sherry Shepherd's. 1:12:58.600 --> 1:13:01.120 Dead Ass is a production of Eye Hard Media podcast 1:13:01.240 --> 1:13:04.719 Network and is produced by Donor Pinya and Tribble. 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