Speaker 1: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devoued, and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 2: You may know us from posting funny videos.
Speaker 1: With our boys and reading each other publicly as a
Speaker 1: form of therapy.
Speaker 3: Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow?
Speaker 1: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 2: Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open
Speaker 2: dialogue about some of li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 1: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 2: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 2: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 2: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
Speaker 2: the truth, the whole truth.
Speaker 3: And nothing but the truth.
Speaker 2: We about to take philosof to our whole new level.
Speaker 1: Dead ass starts right now, all right, Sherry, Yes, yes, this?
Speaker 1: How does this feel to be in the opposite chair?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Normally you're the host, you're asking the questions. How often
Speaker 1: do you sit down for an interview with someone?
Speaker 4: I don't really, So this is actually fun for me.
Speaker 3: It's giving exclusive, it's giving exclusive, and it's fun because
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 4: I'm not under any pressure.
Speaker 3: I'm not under any pressure to say, Oh, Kadeen wants
Speaker 3: to promote something. Oh, I can't ask Kadeen this. Oh
Speaker 3: my gosh, I don't want to upset her. Like I
Speaker 3: don't have to think about nothing you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the pressure somebody has turned on the air.
Speaker 1: But yeah, what's so funny. Initially coming into this, first
Speaker 1: of all, thank you for sitting with me. You can
Speaker 1: be doing a million other things right now. It's still
Speaker 1: the summertime in New York. My kids are back in school,
Speaker 1: but I know Jeffrey's not so Jeffer's.
Speaker 3: At his mom.
Speaker 1: However, I'm in a moment where coming here, initially I
Speaker 1: felt some butterflies. I was like, oh my god, Sherry,
Speaker 1: I have to sit and interview Shery like I'm doing
Speaker 1: like this is my dream job and I'm about to
Speaker 1: interview someone who is literally living my right. And then
Speaker 1: as I got closer to the studio and once I
Speaker 1: got here, I felt a sense of calm, and that
Speaker 1: for me was just kind of confirmation or affirmation that
Speaker 1: I'm where I'm supposed to be.
Speaker 3: Yes, which is too to whatever that thing is, that
Speaker 3: dream and how God is going to anoint it. Because
Speaker 3: we're spiritual people. Sure we talk deep spiritual, but sure.
Speaker 3: It's like when you say you could be doing anything, No,
Speaker 3: I'm supposed to be doing this with you, because, as
Speaker 3: I tell everybody on my team, the blessings that I
Speaker 3: get are not only for me. Everybody is supposed to
Speaker 3: eat off that blessing. So when your husband called and
Speaker 3: said my wife is I was like, I don't care what. Yes,
Speaker 3: we need you to fly with whatever.
Speaker 4: God bless him, your husband when I tell you he loved.
Speaker 3: You, and I love that because I remember you said
Speaker 3: when we were talking that this is your dream to
Speaker 3: have a talk show. So whatever I can do to
Speaker 3: help in whatever part I can play, or however God
Speaker 3: wants to use me to assist, then that's what I'm
Speaker 3: going to do. So it's not no, there were things,
Speaker 3: but I was supposed to be here, Like I didn't
Speaker 3: care how it was happening. When they said I had
Speaker 3: to fly out, I was like, however, I got, we
Speaker 3: gotta do this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Sherion was a plan to Chicago for me.
Speaker 4: Okay, don't even care. Listen like you're walking in your purpose.
Speaker 1: Indeed I received that, and I so see it deeply.
Speaker 3: You you have given up so much to highlight your husband.
Speaker 3: You've given up so much to raise these three princes. Lord,
Speaker 3: I forgot you track, and so I can't can track
Speaker 3: with your belly because you get the belly, you lose
Speaker 3: it so fast. I'll be losing track of the kids.
Speaker 4: But it's like you.
Speaker 3: You were raising these little princes to become kings, and
Speaker 3: you were fulfilling the first assignment. So God is gonna
Speaker 3: bless you on this journe and I would love to
Speaker 3: be a part of your blessing because your seeds that
Speaker 3: you've been planning, that's like investing in stocks. And I
Speaker 3: do want to you because this is gonna benefit me too.
Speaker 1: I received that shry that's so true, and I didn't
Speaker 1: even think of it that way. But you're absolutely right, Deval,
Speaker 1: and I always say it. Even on our podcast Dead Ass,
Speaker 1: we say all everything that we've accumulated is not for us.
Speaker 1: It's part of a bigger picture. We're blessed in abundance
Speaker 1: because we are on God's assignment to bless other people.
Speaker 3: And you have. That's how I found out about you.
Speaker 3: I was scrolling on Instagram and I saw a Dead
Speaker 3: Ass and y'all were talking about something about a like
Speaker 3: every every time you do the podcast is something. It's
Speaker 3: like amazing, But it was about relationships and trust and
Speaker 3: I couldn't look away.
Speaker 4: And that's when I started following both of you.
Speaker 3: I didn't even know you. I hadn't even watched Devel
Speaker 3: on TV. It was through dead Asso and it's so
Speaker 3: I just believe God blesses exponentially.
Speaker 4: It's never supposed to be like about y'all.
Speaker 3: It's who you're touching. God can't use you if you're
Speaker 3: not gonna be touching other people.
Speaker 1: That's when I realized what my purpose was, Sherry, because
Speaker 1: for so long I would think about it. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what's my purpose? Like why am I here other than
Speaker 1: being a wife and mom? And to your point, having
Speaker 1: dead Ass as a platform where we just share unapologetically
Speaker 1: about so many things. I'm just hoping that it resonates
Speaker 1: with someone when people stop us on the street now
Speaker 1: and they say, you saved my marriage single, Yeah me,
Speaker 1: you taught me how to talk to my partner. I
Speaker 1: didn't agree with what you said then, but it makes
Speaker 1: sense now. That's when I feel like, Wow, I'm really
Speaker 1: really fulfilling God's purpose for me.
Speaker 3: So in that darling she reisonated with me, I don't
Speaker 3: even want to get married. I was like, I gotta
Speaker 3: find a husband. But it showed me, like every time
Speaker 3: y'all talk, it shows me what a marriage should be
Speaker 3: looking like, honest, authentic, you know about trust, about God, about.
Speaker 4: Like I don't know.
Speaker 3: For some reason, the way you and Deval talk even
Speaker 3: about putting each other first, yes, because you can't take
Speaker 3: care of the family if y'all en, It just resonated
Speaker 3: with me. So true.
Speaker 1: And this is a service based industry. If you not
Speaker 1: prepared to serve, baby, this is not for you. And
Speaker 1: that's usually what I tell people. And as soon as
Speaker 1: you realize that which side of the industry you're on,
Speaker 1: you'll be a happier person.
Speaker 3: Girl. Sure see, I already got.
Speaker 4: It out blessing me.
Speaker 1: I mean you know, I know you did it twice.
Speaker 1: It's three times a trying real quick. While we're on
Speaker 1: the topic, not right now now.
Speaker 3: I will never say never, because I literally I'm a
Speaker 3: believer in marriage. Okay, I believe in the benefits of marriage.
Speaker 3: I'm not one of those people I'm in love with
Speaker 3: being married. I think marriage is so God said, if
Speaker 3: you are with the right person, And I think that
Speaker 3: a lot of people. Sometimes they rush into the pomp
Speaker 3: and the circumstance instead of really really vetting out the
Speaker 3: person and going, is this gonna fit me? Or am
Speaker 3: I willing to serve? Am I willing to Am I
Speaker 3: willing to lay down things that I think for.
Speaker 1: The better good of the collection of the collective?
Speaker 4: And so I don't think that I was there, and
Speaker 4: I want to.
Speaker 3: Take time to just wait. I don't want because I
Speaker 3: rushed into marriage because I was like, oh, I can't
Speaker 3: be in sin. I can't the Bible say it's better
Speaker 3: to be married than lust. I don't even remember the
Speaker 3: spel description was. And so I got married for the
Speaker 3: wrong reasons. And I'm not blaming the other person. It
Speaker 3: was the choices that I made.
Speaker 1: Did you have like a timeline in your head of
Speaker 1: like this is where my life should be yes time?
Speaker 3: I thought that at the time I got married, I
Speaker 3: was forty three, which is not that it's not okay, So.
Speaker 1: You weren't like I'm in my twenties and you know,
Speaker 1: I want to be thirties. I want to be damaged
Speaker 1: goods like they.
Speaker 3: Like to say, Well, I never thought I was want
Speaker 3: to be damaged goods.
Speaker 4: But I thought I was getting older.
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm forty three and I'm getting old,
Speaker 3: and who's going to want to get married to me?
Speaker 1: Who?
Speaker 3: All of that stuff? And it's so funny because now
Speaker 3: I'm fifty seven.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I'm fine.
Speaker 3: I can't even believe I thought that right forty three.
Speaker 3: At fifty seven, I'm like, I'm a great catch. Somebody's
Speaker 3: going to find this person. And until they do, I'm
Speaker 3: going to be moving and doing what I need to do,
Speaker 3: what God.
Speaker 4: Has called me to do.
Speaker 3: And I remember a pastor said he's going to interrupt
Speaker 3: what you're doing. So until I get interrupted, I'm not
Speaker 3: thinking about marriage.
Speaker 4: But I do believe I will never.
Speaker 3: Say I won't get married. But at this time, I'm
Speaker 3: not looking for marriage because, first of all, kadeem my mouth,
Speaker 3: I didn't found my voice.
Speaker 4: And sometimes and there's a thing.
Speaker 3: Of being a boss here that doesn't transfer over sometimes
Speaker 3: when you take that same energyhip into a relationship, and
Speaker 3: I have experienced that, and so I know, and so
Speaker 3: it's that pulling back that sometimes I have a hard
Speaker 3: time doing.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like you were forced into a boss position?
Speaker 1: Because I know some women who feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: I just had to take charge of my life and
Speaker 1: my career. So I was forced to be that boss.
Speaker 1: But did you feel like that was your story to
Speaker 1: be forced into it, so therefore you don't know how
Speaker 1: to turn it off in a relationship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would have to say I was forced into
Speaker 3: being a boss because number one, being a single mom
Speaker 3: and having a son with special needs. I've had to
Speaker 3: be a boss to advocate for him because he's a
Speaker 3: young black boy. So a lot of times people will
Speaker 3: say things to me and I don't have to say
Speaker 3: no with this voice that doesn't work for us, or no, you're.
Speaker 4: Not going to put my my son.
Speaker 3: I wanted him to attend a certain school and they
Speaker 3: said to me, his IQ will not allow him to attend,
Speaker 3: like we could put him in a great gym class.
Speaker 3: That was so insulting to me, and I had to
Speaker 3: deepen my voice.
Speaker 4: Do Chicago and.
Speaker 3: Me want to.
Speaker 1: Understand?
Speaker 3: But I had to say uh uh, and I will
Speaker 3: report you and what you just said. And so I've
Speaker 3: had to be the boss in those situations. And then
Speaker 3: taking on a talk show with my name on it,
Speaker 3: I get the glory and I get the the if
Speaker 3: it fails. They don't say, oh, that producer, that the
Speaker 3: booker of the show. They say, Sherry. So I've had
Speaker 3: to take on a leadership role because I'm the boss
Speaker 3: and you know, I'm always working and being a singular
Speaker 3: talk show host, which is what you will experience because
Speaker 3: you don't need nobody else could date being a singular
Speaker 3: talk show host, you have to take on all of that.
Speaker 3: You don't get to leave it at the job. It
Speaker 3: always is with you. If somebody falls out, a guess
Speaker 3: at the last minute, if something happens with one of
Speaker 3: the producers, if somebody has to be let go, if
Speaker 3: some I've had to talk to employees and take on
Speaker 3: that voice.
Speaker 4: So sometimes you know, I bring it with me.
Speaker 3: And this voice stays. It's not the not that you
Speaker 3: have to You.
Speaker 4: Don't have to dumb anything down. But that's the feminine.
Speaker 3: Part of Sherry, the soft part of Sherry. I keep
Speaker 3: forgetting like that this the soft part.
Speaker 4: So is there part of.
Speaker 1: Shary now that yearns for the term everyone's using now?
Speaker 1: Is that soft life? That soft girl era?
Speaker 4: Sometimes? But I guess it's so funny. I went out
Speaker 4: with somebody.
Speaker 3: It was very interesting. He was very very rich, he
Speaker 3: was very very well he's very well known, very well
Speaker 3: and it was so funny because he was like, he said, so,
Speaker 3: what have you been doing today? I was like, I've
Speaker 3: been investing in stocks and you know, in Vignia and
Speaker 3: then we bought uh some shares of this and I'm
Speaker 3: doing this and I'm doing and immediately I could see.
Speaker 4: I was like, where am I losing him?
Speaker 3: Where am I losing my god?
Speaker 1: So when you say losing him, did you see kind
Speaker 1: of like that light taking away from his eye like
Speaker 1: this might not be it like it was too.
Speaker 4: Much for him?
Speaker 1: Because I was it was.
Speaker 3: I was just very confident because I was like, you're powerful.
Speaker 3: I've got some power, so let's talk.
Speaker 5: In this thing.
Speaker 4: But I could see no, he was looking That's not
Speaker 4: what he was looking for. He wanted to feminine.
Speaker 3: So we ended up watching like a movie and I
Speaker 3: would laugh and I was like, oh and it came
Speaker 3: back and I said, dig cheer. You got to figure out.
Speaker 4: How to how to navigate this thing, you know.
Speaker 3: Or he wanted to show. I think he showed me
Speaker 3: something and I was like, oh, I don't know if.
Speaker 4: It was his car or something like that.
Speaker 3: I really messed up. He showed me his car, and
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, yeah, I used to have that.
Speaker 1: I bought that too, So this becomes almost like a competition.
Speaker 3: I wasn't meaning for it. I just was like, but
Speaker 3: I got it. As related. We're on the same miss level.
Speaker 3: I get that. And at some point I was like,
Speaker 3: he need he needn't want that. He needs somebody who
Speaker 3: needs him. And I don't mean to say that that's
Speaker 3: a bad thing, you understand it, but sometimes men need
Speaker 3: to feel needed. And I guess I was giving off
Speaker 3: the energy that I got it.
Speaker 1: I got it right, and you had it and you
Speaker 1: got it, and you have played differently now that you
Speaker 1: know that. Would you have been a little bit or
Speaker 1: as they said demure, I would have been.
Speaker 3: More like, oh my gosh, that's yeah. I would have
Speaker 3: been like, that's I love the car, that's a beautiful
Speaker 3: I don't know if I would have mentioned that I
Speaker 3: had one, right, but I was. I was doing it
Speaker 3: like I was talking to my girlfriend, girl, I had
Speaker 3: one of them, and you know what the engine, don't
Speaker 3: you got to take in and get a service. I
Speaker 3: was level to relate on right. Yes, So I probably
Speaker 3: would have said that's a that's a great car, and
Speaker 3: him going, what did you do today?
Speaker 4: It probably would.
Speaker 3: I would have saved the other stuff for you when
Speaker 3: we're talking, yeah, I would have softened.
Speaker 1: So here you are still learning, like you know.
Speaker 3: Fifty seven?
Speaker 1: What tell me?
Speaker 3: Baby?
Speaker 1: So you're proof that we're always learning or always growing.
Speaker 1: There's always something new. But take me back to little
Speaker 1: girl Cherry, one of three girls, right, correct? Yes, mom
Speaker 1: and dad at home. You were raised Jehovah's witness all
Speaker 1: that good stuff. So tell me about little Sherry. Did
Speaker 1: little Sherry foresee this for Sherry today?
Speaker 3: It's not that I foresaw because little Sherry was very shy.
Speaker 3: She always I was. I was like so shy, I
Speaker 3: couldn't even my mother told me one time we were
Speaker 3: at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses and she said,
Speaker 3: I'm going to do something. Don't let anybody sit in
Speaker 3: these seats. And somebody came and sat down, and I
Speaker 3: was so scared to speak up. And my younger sister,
Speaker 3: who now still gets in trouble because of mine, she
Speaker 3: was like, oh, my Mama said, you can't see here.
Speaker 3: So she had the voice. She had the voice, and
Speaker 3: like I didn't speak up. I was very shy.
Speaker 4: But I always made people laugh.
Speaker 3: Like in my family, everybody's funny, but I always made
Speaker 3: people laugh. So when you find that voice, I found
Speaker 3: that voice when I co hosted the View, no Way,
Speaker 3: because I got made fun of so much for not
Speaker 3: knowing what I was talking about. I went through a
Speaker 3: perre where black women hated me because I made so many,
Speaker 3: you know, errors on TV because as a Jehovah's witness,
Speaker 3: we didn't vote. And I got on the View when
Speaker 3: Barack Obama was run. I don't know nothing about politics.
Speaker 3: I was a stand up comic. Barbara Walters wanted me
Speaker 3: to do more serious stuff. I had everything that I
Speaker 3: was scared to do. I had to do. I was
Speaker 3: raised not to talk to your elders, talk bad. I
Speaker 3: was raised by my father and mother. You don't don't
Speaker 3: look me in the eye. You when I'm talking to you,
Speaker 3: you look at the floor. So it's very hard for
Speaker 3: me to look somebody in the eye. I was raised
Speaker 3: not to debate everything. I was raised you speak up.
Speaker 3: I'm sitting at the table with Whoopy gold Bird, Joy Bahar,
Speaker 3: Barbara Walters, Elizabeth Hasseback and to find airspace was so
Speaker 3: hard for me. And then they were talking about politics.
Speaker 3: I didn't know.
Speaker 1: It felt like a fish out of water.
Speaker 3: I felt like a fish out of water, and I
Speaker 3: made so many mistakes. But that's why I grew.
Speaker 1: How did you prep for that? Because I know politics
Speaker 1: is something that well, I mean.
Speaker 3: I love talking politics, so now you love it? Are
Speaker 3: there are talking about politics? Twenty four seven?
Speaker 1: You know? So it was it like you go home,
Speaker 1: I have to do homework. Did you have to find
Speaker 1: an angle? Like you have to prepare for that environment?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: I had to realize with politics instead of overthinking it
Speaker 3: and taking on like this great big whyew delegates and
Speaker 3: executive branch and judicial branch? How is it affecting you
Speaker 3: and your son the policies as a mother. And then
Speaker 3: I ranched out from there and it was really falling
Speaker 3: and having somebody like Bill Maher you know, talk about
Speaker 3: me on the air, or Bill O'Reilly talk about me
Speaker 3: on the air, Charlemagne even on the Breakfast Club talked
Speaker 3: about me badly. It was being hurt so much that
Speaker 3: I said, here, you gotta start reading. Barbara Walter's even said,
Speaker 3: since me, she goes read a book, deer. I was like,
Speaker 3: I did, have you read he read The Coldest Winter
Speaker 3: the Cold wrote a book recently too.
Speaker 1: You should be coming out this month or next month.
Speaker 3: I forget, I don't know, but Sister Soldiers, baby, I
Speaker 3: had no business reading this.
Speaker 5: Girl.
Speaker 1: Between that and Fly Girl, my mother would have been like, honey,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna hit you with this book. Do you know?
Speaker 3: I actually said that to Barbara, I said, when she said,
Speaker 3: read a book, deer, I said, sister Soldier got this
Speaker 3: book called The Coldest Winter Ever.
Speaker 1: You should read.
Speaker 3: And when she walked away, I said, I made a
Speaker 3: mistake and what I just said, But it was all
Speaker 3: of the failures and the public I failed in public.
Speaker 3: I didn't get to fail, you know, in private.
Speaker 1: So when did you develop this thick skin? Is that
Speaker 1: a persona that Sherry has to maintain because she's in
Speaker 1: the public eye. What's it like when you go home
Speaker 1: and you take off the makeup and you know, take
Speaker 1: off the.
Speaker 3: Hair, and you know, take off.
Speaker 1: To take off the hair, when you go home and
Speaker 1: you're by yourself, what does that feel like for you?
Speaker 1: The scrutiny, the eyes, the criticism.
Speaker 3: I think it's because I failed so much publicly that
Speaker 3: I learned to joy Bayhart said, something that resonated with
Speaker 3: me in my entire life. She said, Sherry, as soon
Speaker 3: as you open your mouth, half the world is gonna
Speaker 3: hate you. So you it's always you know, you have
Speaker 3: to learn to not take all of that on. And
Speaker 3: I felt like, oh, I'm the black person at the table,
Speaker 3: so I got to I'm the Christian, so I have
Speaker 3: to be this way. And it was John Murray, who
Speaker 3: is my best friend and he's executive producer of the show.
Speaker 3: He would tell me you can't take on the way
Speaker 3: of all black people, Sherry, You're not strong enough. And
Speaker 3: so I learned.
Speaker 4: And I will give you a great example.
Speaker 3: There used to be a blog site called I Hate
Speaker 3: Daytime Talk Shows, and every time I got aft off
Speaker 3: the show, I would go in these sites.
Speaker 4: On the internet.
Speaker 1: So you were glad for punishment, Sherry, and I had
Speaker 1: to read everything about me.
Speaker 4: What are they say?
Speaker 1: And their purpose behind reading everything? Was it that you
Speaker 1: wanted to find out how to better no validation.
Speaker 3: I needed them.
Speaker 1: You wanted to see a positive comments.
Speaker 3: And they hated me all the time, they always and
Speaker 3: they said Cherry is not authentic, She's a fake. You know.
Speaker 3: She and I've had abortions in the past, and I
Speaker 3: remember they said, you know, she talked about having abortions
Speaker 3: and she wasn't even sorry for it. So I said, Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go on TV the next day and we
Speaker 3: were talking about Banns Shoes girl, and I said, I
Speaker 3: had abortions and I'm so sorry for it, and I'm
Speaker 3: so and I've just got emotional to abortion because I
Speaker 3: wanted to get it in because redemption and I talked
Speaker 3: about it and Whoopee was looking at me like what
Speaker 3: what in the world. And I got on that site
Speaker 3: I hate daytime talk and they said Sherry is just
Speaker 3: hated me for did you see how she faked was
Speaker 3: emotional faith? And I said, that's when I really can't
Speaker 3: lose for trying. You can't lose for trying, and you
Speaker 3: can't make people like you. So now I'm like, here's
Speaker 3: my criteria for social media because I.
Speaker 4: Get people that don't like me. People are gonna hate you.
Speaker 3: People are gonna hate you because they're in fear because
Speaker 3: they didn't set out themselves. Absolutely, people are gonna hate
Speaker 3: you because they're envious. People are gonna.
Speaker 1: Hate you because they travel the road of mediocrity.
Speaker 4: They travel the road of mediocrity.
Speaker 3: They don't they're too they don't take a risk, and
Speaker 3: they're people who like you are gonna not like you.
Speaker 3: You can't make people happy. And if people, first of all,
Speaker 3: if you haven't sent me a card and asked about Jeffrey,
Speaker 3: if you haven't sent him twenty dollars for his birthday,
Speaker 3: if you haven't tried to help me with my mortgage,
Speaker 3: if you haven't prayed with me, I don't care what
Speaker 3: you think. Yes, so people who's because it's always somebody
Speaker 3: who be like you ain't cute? You think you and
Speaker 3: I go sist, step out and take a risk.
Speaker 1: Sex, you'll be you actually think I'm cute. That's the problem.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 3: That's you don't want to take so it would it
Speaker 3: serves you to criticize and always try to be positive.
Speaker 4: So that's why I don't pay.
Speaker 3: I feel for younger people who are on social media
Speaker 3: because it's such a different time in youth and you
Speaker 3: want to get valid and you want all this love
Speaker 3: and it's like you'll never get it. The lights all that,
Speaker 3: and everybody's picky.
Speaker 4: You know this girl love you one day and the
Speaker 4: same people hate you the next. Then they love you to.
Speaker 3: It's like fickles have fickle fickle if you don't have
Speaker 3: your cousins and your mama and your husband. That's the
Speaker 3: core people. I got a core group of girlfriends. When
Speaker 3: niece Nash calls me and checks me, her, I listen
Speaker 3: to a third.
Speaker 4: Of the time.
Speaker 1: You take some things with I completely get it. All right, y'all,
Speaker 1: stay right there. We're going to take a sure break
Speaker 1: and come right back to you. So Sherry multi hyphen it.
Speaker 1: You do all the things actress Radian. Everything is anything
Speaker 1: like the top for you, Like, what do you really enjoy?
Speaker 4: I feel like this is such a pet answer.
Speaker 3: I'm so blessed, Like it makes me cry that God
Speaker 3: has allowed me to do all of the things that
Speaker 3: I love. So I feel like it's hard to it's
Speaker 3: hard to pick one because it's always been my dream
Speaker 3: to be a talk show host. It is always, and
Speaker 3: you know this, when it's like that dream that has
Speaker 3: hadn't come to pass, it's always. I love doing stand up.
Speaker 3: I love making on the stage just me and myself
Speaker 3: and with my life making somebody feel better about what
Speaker 3: I've gone through, Like when I went through a relationship
Speaker 3: breakup and it had with single talked about it on stage,
Speaker 3: and I had so many women coming up to me, going,
Speaker 3: I'm going through the same thing. So I love being
Speaker 3: able to make people feel better with laughter. I love
Speaker 3: being able to I just finished this movie with Tyler Perry,
Speaker 3: you know, like I love acting. I love, you know,
Speaker 3: writing books. I'm working on the children's book right now,
Speaker 3: so I'm so thankful. And they're all different animals. So
Speaker 3: I love acting. I'm miss acting. I want to do
Speaker 3: a sitcom where I make people laugh even while I'm
Speaker 3: doing the talk show. So what's my favorite all of
Speaker 3: all the things? You know?
Speaker 1: Specifically look at you as a comedian, because I'm thinking
Speaker 1: of the talk show space, right, I have to have
Speaker 1: the personality like people tend to err on the side
Speaker 1: of comedy and make people laugh even if it's a
Speaker 1: serious topic. But in this day and age, I feel
Speaker 1: like people are so hypersensuive about all the things my
Speaker 1: good So how do you navigate this ever evolving ecosystem
Speaker 1: of sensitivity that people have as a comedian when you
Speaker 1: want to spit facts but doing it in jest, how
Speaker 1: do you navigate that girl, so you not canceled every
Speaker 1: two seconds? I feel like every comedian is canceled for
Speaker 1: saying something that people really want to say. Anyway, girls
Speaker 1: like I can't say it.
Speaker 3: Kadeen, I did a joke about my son. He's on
Speaker 3: the autism spectrum, and I did a joke and I said,
Speaker 3: sometimes I feel like he ain't autistic. I feel like
Speaker 3: I'm being bamboozo. I feel like this book and when
Speaker 3: I tell you the number of people that wrote in,
Speaker 3: they were offended. They were And I'm like, and my
Speaker 3: son is like, I gotta find humor, and some of
Speaker 3: the stuff that he does, I gotta and you get
Speaker 3: so many people to come against you. So doing a
Speaker 3: talk show, it's a little bit more tricky because I
Speaker 3: always want to find funny, but I don't want people
Speaker 3: to be hurt by my funny. Like because number one,
Speaker 3: Woopy said this to me. She said, because we were
Speaker 3: on the view and it was a hot topic and
Speaker 3: there was a certain person I can't even say names
Speaker 3: because will be gonna kill me.
Speaker 4: Who them something to somebody that we know.
Speaker 3: And I said, I know he did that on purpose,
Speaker 3: and I know this happened to her because of him,
Speaker 3: and I want to talk about it.
Speaker 4: And Whoopy said, we're not going to talk about that.
Speaker 3: And I was like, I'm telling you, he do this
Speaker 3: to women all the time, and he always and I
Speaker 3: want to like, we got the platform, and she said.
Speaker 3: And then of course, since Whoopy said she wasn't gonna
Speaker 3: do it, everybody was like, well, I'm not doing it either.
Speaker 4: So I went into.
Speaker 3: Whoopee's room and I said, Whoopee, why you shoot this
Speaker 3: down because everybody knows this particular superstar did this to
Speaker 3: this woman. And but and this is what she said
Speaker 3: to me. She said, Sherry, if you go up in
Speaker 3: the club, she said, first of all, celebrities have long memories,
Speaker 3: and you're going to work beyond the view you are
Speaker 3: an actress, yes, And she said, so if you walk
Speaker 3: into a comedy club or a club and he sees
Speaker 3: you and he decides he want to pop you in
Speaker 3: the mouth, ain't nobody gonna do nothing there, gonna pull
Speaker 3: out this help. They're not gonna do anything, right, she said,
Speaker 3: But if Elizabeth Hasselbacker asking the club, I don't do
Speaker 3: nothing to her. And she said, so they have long
Speaker 3: memories and you have to remember that. So that informs
Speaker 3: how I do things on this show. Like I come
Speaker 3: in from a place of love and you know, light
Speaker 3: and light laughter. So I want celebrities to know when
Speaker 3: Cherry's making fun of me, she's coming from a place
Speaker 3: of love where they don't feel like I'm being mean
Speaker 3: because I do have any but in this day and age,
Speaker 3: sometimes they don't. And I still have to go and
Speaker 3: work and take care of my son, and I don't
Speaker 3: want anybody like. I saw a celebrity at the comedy store.
Speaker 3: Now it was stuff about him and the Sherry wanted
Speaker 3: to get on the chair and be like anyway and
Speaker 3: talk about him. But thankfully my best friend John, He's like, now,
Speaker 3: where can we come in from a lighter place where
Speaker 3: people are going to be inspired?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: And I did? And do you know afterwards, I went
Speaker 3: to La I went to a club, walked in and
Speaker 3: that person was right there and he hugged me and
Speaker 3: he was like, hey, sis, now he's hugging me.
Speaker 4: My face was like this, but he said, I thank
Speaker 4: you for what you said.
Speaker 3: It really it made me feel so good and I
Speaker 3: appreciate that, and sists, if you want me to come
Speaker 3: on your show, I will be happy. He stayed and
Speaker 3: watch me do my set. He was like, oh my God,
Speaker 3: like we gotta like, I gotta, can you come do
Speaker 3: something with And I was like, okay, absolutely, that could
Speaker 3: have went a different way. I'm a woman, I'm a singer,
Speaker 3: you know, And I think about that all the time
Speaker 3: because I'm out in these streets.
Speaker 4: I did so many different things.
Speaker 1: So you never know when someone's gonna spend the block
Speaker 1: and you have to either work with them or they
Speaker 1: making a decision. Absolutely, And if I was even saying
Speaker 1: it the other day about some PA's who have now
Speaker 1: were PA's years ago and they're now executive producers and
Speaker 1: they're calling the shots and they're making the decisis and
Speaker 1: they remember that they remember every single interaction.
Speaker 3: There are some people who will never set foot on
Speaker 3: my couch because of how they treated me in the industry.
Speaker 3: And they come to me and go they don't remember,
Speaker 3: but I remember how I felt in their presence, and
Speaker 3: they will call me, go girl, when you're gonna bring
Speaker 3: me on your show, I'm gonna never phone near the
Speaker 3: never ary. I'm gonna put that on the T shirt
Speaker 3: girl like that. Yes, they would never be on the
Speaker 3: and and people say, but what would Jesus do? Well,
Speaker 3: I'm not Jesus. My name Cherry that Jesus will let
Speaker 3: them come on and get them a word. You don't
Speaker 3: get to come on, no, sir, so you're not work.
Speaker 1: I want to show you something, Sherry, show me really,
Speaker 1: Coret Clay, let me pull it up with this.
Speaker 4: I want to let you know I'm probably saying stuff
Speaker 4: I shouldn't even be saying.
Speaker 1: No, baby, transparate this atmosphere of comfort. We can just yeah, good,
Speaker 1: good and you do good.
Speaker 3: Thank you. I was actually going to ask you for
Speaker 3: feedback later, like how to do this makes me very
Speaker 3: happy because you're walking in, walking in your purpose. Awesome.
Speaker 1: Thank you, my love. All right, So take a look.
Speaker 3: Here now with me, right now, I have none other
Speaker 3: than the hilarious. I'm really doing great. Is I'm in
Speaker 3: a room for the mothers.
Speaker 4: I'm really doing good.
Speaker 1: Tell me about the event tonight and what it means
Speaker 1: to you to be here for celebrity women and doing
Speaker 1: both things. They're juggling home and heart.
Speaker 3: You know, it's really inspiring to be around these these
Speaker 3: mothers because I'm learning different tips of how to balance
Speaker 3: my life because I think mother wig the spinning plates.
Speaker 6: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Before I had my son Jeffrey, I was living, eating greer.
Speaker 3: I was always hustling. I everybody knew me. Oh my goodness, Jeffrey,
Speaker 3: both of us and you got there and everything else.
Speaker 3: I started learning to say no, and I've turned down
Speaker 3: projects because it took me away from Jeffrey. How good
Speaker 3: you are?
Speaker 1: Burning down names are come to me tenfold.
Speaker 4: I never wanted to be one of those homes that
Speaker 4: were Sam come to me and twenty one.
Speaker 3: You were never there, so I wanted him and I
Speaker 3: always know you are the most important thing in my life.
Speaker 4: Not a show, not a talk show, not a sitcom
Speaker 4: talk show.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, God, thank you.
Speaker 1: Talk about a full circle moment about living and walking
Speaker 1: in purpose, talk about God ordering our steps and opening
Speaker 1: the doors.
Speaker 3: In the windows. Baby. So that was okay.
Speaker 1: I went to school for broadcast journal I'm going to do.
Speaker 1: I went to school for broadcast journalism and it got
Speaker 1: my masters and speech communication, rhetorical studies, and performance. So
Speaker 1: this has always been since the beginning of time for me,
Speaker 1: and looking at that, it was what is God's confirmation
Speaker 1: for you? God's confirmation for me is that this is
Speaker 1: what It's funny that we watched that because we talked
Speaker 1: about the things you had to say no to because
Speaker 1: it didn't serve you and your son and your family
Speaker 1: in that moment. And my confirmation came from actually me
Speaker 1: recently canceling a live show. Oh, I had planned a
Speaker 1: live tour show, and having the guts to say I'm
Speaker 1: not going to do this, I'm going to cancel took
Speaker 1: a lot because of course there's a speculation like, oh,
Speaker 1: why did she cancel? What happens? The first of all,
Speaker 1: I'm not pregnant.
Speaker 3: That's the first thing. Oh darn, it's not it.
Speaker 4: I love when you get pregnant, Devo too.
Speaker 1: That's the process. But no, it was it was in
Speaker 1: those moments where I had to navigate and change plans
Speaker 1: and pivot that the doors opened further and why yeah,
Speaker 1: And that for me, try not to get emotional because
Speaker 1: it's not supposed to be there. It's supposed to be
Speaker 1: that the way around. But that for me in those
Speaker 1: moments when I have Sherry Shepherd who answers my husband's
Speaker 1: call and says, yes, Kadeen, I'll sit with you. A
Speaker 1: couple of other people who I've reached out to for
Speaker 1: my live show they said, Okay, the live show is
Speaker 1: not happening. But when can we chat? The people who
Speaker 1: are saying yes to me is literally my confirmation from God.
Speaker 1: Like Kadeen, you're moving in the way you're supposed to move.
Speaker 1: In the past ten years, I've dedicated so much time,
Speaker 1: especially to my family, to growing my family and to
Speaker 1: being that present mom. And in the video that we
Speaker 1: just watched, you talked about say no to opportunities because
Speaker 1: Jeffrey was of utmost importance as a mother and the
Speaker 1: door is opened and other directions that you could not
Speaker 1: have even fathomed.
Speaker 3: I think that's so I love that you speak that
Speaker 3: because I think it's so true. That's I believe is
Speaker 3: our first assignment as we're mothers, we're wives, and you
Speaker 3: just you put it aside. It wasn't to know, it
Speaker 3: was just not yet because you had to be a
Speaker 3: force in your family. You were there for your husband,
Speaker 3: you were there for your kids. And I just believe
Speaker 3: that God honors that and he brings it to you
Speaker 3: when it's supposed to happen. Absolutely, and it's for me
Speaker 3: with Jeffrey's same thing. I turned down so many things
Speaker 3: and I was like, Lord, did I make a mistake?
Speaker 3: Did I? But I didn't. I really didn't want him
Speaker 3: to say you were never there on Jew Jeffrey's nineteen
Speaker 3: Now he says other stuff, Why you in my room?
Speaker 3: Why how come you keep calling me? But he never
Speaker 3: says you were never They were never there.
Speaker 1: You sit in here and you don't want him to
Speaker 1: be twenty one and say that that was.
Speaker 4: Eleven years ago, that was eleven years ago.
Speaker 1: And he can't say that.
Speaker 3: He can That's the one thing he does not say,
Speaker 3: like and so I just know that God. Sometimes I say, God,
Speaker 3: why did you give this blessing to me? When you
Speaker 3: know my memory? I mean, forget girl. When I tell
Speaker 3: you A big superstar was sitting on the couch across
Speaker 3: from me, and I was like, what is his name?
Speaker 1: Again?
Speaker 4: Family?
Speaker 3: How many like that? Absolutely?
Speaker 4: And I said he's a heart throat, said in the moment,
Speaker 4: and then just.
Speaker 3: Name when I tell you? And they could tell I
Speaker 3: was panicking. I was like, I don't remember prompter.
Speaker 4: I was like, sweetie, who are you?
Speaker 3: Who are you telling you? I'm on your flipp it.
Speaker 3: But I was like, and you give me this blessing
Speaker 3: when I don't have as much energy as I would
Speaker 3: have had in my twenties.
Speaker 4: I'd have been.
Speaker 1: Ripping and run, more stories to tell.
Speaker 3: But I'm have more life.
Speaker 1: You've lived more.
Speaker 3: I've lived more. I was confidence, and it's because I
Speaker 3: just took a little break and I made sure Jeffrey
Speaker 3: was okay.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's great to have the support of not only
Speaker 1: my husband, but women like you in the industry who
Speaker 1: are taking the time to help push me forward and
Speaker 1: to help mentor me and to help further confirm where
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be. I was reading an article where
Speaker 1: someone was interviewing Lena Waithe and she said that no
Speaker 1: one should go to their grave with a dream deferred.
Speaker 1: And I've learned over time that a denial in a
Speaker 1: moment is not necessarily a no, that it's just deferred
Speaker 1: to a later time when you're better able and equipped
Speaker 1: to receive that blessing and be a blessing to others
Speaker 1: because it's not just about us, which we've said. So
Speaker 1: I'm in that space now where I feel like, no
Speaker 1: longer am I going to self sabotage and say you're
Speaker 1: not ready for this in this moment. You're no longer
Speaker 1: going to procrastinate because you say you're a perfectionist, but
Speaker 1: you're not really a perfectionist. You're really just out here
Speaker 1: trying to buy time. Yes, I've realized as I watched
Speaker 1: my children grow. I have a thirteen year old, which
Speaker 1: is insane to me, girl, and those moments when I
Speaker 1: look at him, it really gives me that real life,
Speaker 1: physical perspective of how time flies goes by so fast.
Speaker 1: It goes by so fast, and I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: live in it. Now, I'm in a space where I'm
Speaker 1: just living in it, and I'm like, God, order my
Speaker 1: steps where I'm supposed to be in those rooms. There's
Speaker 1: rooms that I haven't even been in that people are
Speaker 1: already talking about me and my name and who I am.
Speaker 3: And I receive that, Well, you're going to touch people
Speaker 3: that other people will not be able to touch. That's
Speaker 3: why He's putting you there, like we all you know, yeah,
Speaker 3: we have just speaking of black women who have a
Speaker 3: talk show. So it's Tameron Hall, it's Jennifer Hudson, it's
Speaker 3: me and you got you know, folks who are part
Speaker 3: of a panel like a Whoop we go bird. But
Speaker 3: there's so much room here, and there's an audience of
Speaker 3: people that God wants to be reached through you and
Speaker 3: you're absolutely walking in it. And so you know, sometimes
Speaker 3: we do, we procrastinate and we try to be perfectionists.
Speaker 3: But that's I think it's also because we're scared, absolutely
Speaker 3: because God don't require you to be a perfectionist. He
Speaker 3: just requires you to show show up and do the work.
Speaker 3: He requires you to show up and then he'll do
Speaker 3: the rest. But your move of faith is just standing
Speaker 3: there going I'm here, I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3: That's how I felt my first my first day when
Speaker 3: doing this talk show Kadeen, I was like I got
Speaker 3: a pan. I get into a panic, of course, and
Speaker 3: I said, Okay, how am I going to be different
Speaker 3: from there's so many talk show hosts.
Speaker 4: Lord, what am I going to do? I don't have, Like,
Speaker 4: I don't have a monologue, I don't have what.
Speaker 3: Am I supposed to like do? I just start out?
Speaker 3: And first of all, he was like, calm down, watch
Speaker 3: your tone. You get you question. And it was then
Speaker 3: it was literally like this voice said, you just talked
Speaker 3: to Oprah two days ago. Just tell the story the
Speaker 3: way you're gonna tell the story about the advice she
Speaker 3: gave you.
Speaker 4: And that was my first monologue.
Speaker 3: And it was like and then God sends people into
Speaker 3: your life to confirm. And then another sister said to me,
Speaker 3: you have to walk into what is he has already written.
Speaker 3: So he's already written it for you, you just gotta
Speaker 3: walk in it. And then another sister said, Cherry, just
Speaker 3: show up and he'll do the rest. And so whenever
Speaker 3: I get nervous and I go, Lord, I don't have
Speaker 3: any jokes, I don't feel funny, nothing is hitting me.
Speaker 3: I don't remember the story I'm supposed to do, the
Speaker 3: teleprompter has gone out. I'm just sitting here. I go.
Speaker 3: All you want me to do is show up and
Speaker 3: you'll do the rest. And that's what he's doing for you.
Speaker 1: Thank you, And I think thank you for that, Sherry.
Speaker 1: And I truly believe that I'm not going to touch everybody.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be liked by everybody, but the people
Speaker 1: who are for you are for you. We've even realized
Speaker 1: that in our social media journey. You know, take me
Speaker 1: or leave me, that's it, Take mere, leave me. Have
Speaker 1: you ever felt like you know what I have to
Speaker 1: kind of like style step and curtail. You know how
Speaker 1: I speak, or the way I move or the job
Speaker 1: I take because that will then eventually get people to
Speaker 1: buy into what I'm doing now, like throughout your journey,
Speaker 1: ycause you've done so many things.
Speaker 3: I have coming up Okay, And that's why I love
Speaker 3: that I'm not my twenties anymore. In these thirties because
Speaker 3: I felt like I wanted everybody to like me. I
Speaker 3: always said yes, because I felt like I just if
Speaker 3: you could depend on me, then you'll like me. If
Speaker 3: you will, if you like me, then you're gonna need me.
Speaker 3: You'll need me, And it doesn't work out that way.
Speaker 3: So now with this show, I see why he gave
Speaker 3: it to me at this age because if this is
Speaker 3: I'm Auntie, No, No, it's my go to.
Speaker 1: There is something about forty. I turned forty in December.
Speaker 3: M h.
Speaker 4: And what happened baby.
Speaker 1: Once I hit the fourth floor. Yes, it was a
Speaker 1: process and it took some tragic events for me to
Speaker 1: get to this point. But baby, I don't care.
Speaker 3: You don't care.
Speaker 1: This is who I am. It is you love it,
Speaker 1: you don't. Oh well, oh well, because like you said,
Speaker 1: no one's putting twenty dollars in that card to my kids.
Speaker 1: Absolutely're not looking for the bill to be paid. They're
Speaker 1: not doing anything with the lifestyle that I am now
Speaker 1: building for my family. So there's something about it. So
Speaker 1: you're telling me that there's.
Speaker 4: Even more girl when you get to my neighborhood, when
Speaker 4: you get to my block.
Speaker 3: When I get to the fifth it's even more man.
Speaker 3: From the fifth flip oh can get and when you
Speaker 3: get to the fifth floor girl, when I tell you,
Speaker 3: it is a freedom of not really caring, like if
Speaker 3: you're respectful. I read all my comments.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 3: I read them because there's a lot of people who
Speaker 3: are just respectful.
Speaker 4: One one lady said, cheer. I love you so much,
Speaker 4: but you gotta breathe like.
Speaker 3: You keep talking. I'm talking so fast. That's that's that rate.
Speaker 3: There was not disrespectful. It's because she cared and she's
Speaker 3: like her. And so I read and I go, thank
Speaker 3: you so much. And then I get the bad ones
Speaker 3: and I don't care. But I sit in this space
Speaker 3: when things are offered to me, I'm not afraid to
Speaker 3: say no, and I go. If you don't like me,
Speaker 3: then there's other people that there's other flavors that you
Speaker 3: can get with. But if you do, come on over
Speaker 3: to this side and let me take you on a journey,
Speaker 3: but otherwise my life is still moving. I don't have
Speaker 3: a lot of time to give energy to people and
Speaker 3: trying to change and trying to because I think the
Speaker 3: moment you try to change to become what you think
Speaker 3: people want.
Speaker 1: You to be is the moment you start to fail
Speaker 1: and you lose that authenticity.
Speaker 3: You lose the authenticity because it's.
Speaker 1: A hard facade to keep up with. People always ask
Speaker 1: the value, like how a y'all able to do content
Speaker 1: and do videos and type a podcast? I said, because
Speaker 1: we literally are speaking our truth through the life in
Speaker 1: real time and we're okay sharing that. Because what happens
Speaker 1: with sharing is that you are now kind of opening
Speaker 1: up a community of people that feel like I'm not alone. Right,
Speaker 1: someone can resonate with this. I am going through the
Speaker 1: same thing too. You don't feel like you're the anomaly anymore. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there's like a camaraderie in sharing that if you are
Speaker 1: positive and you're looking for the positivity in it, that
Speaker 1: you could really grow from there. You go, let's pivot
Speaker 1: back real quick too. When you wanted to become a mom.
Speaker 1: We have a lot of women who listen to the
Speaker 1: show and the purpose of a day with k when
Speaker 1: I have a lot of my women on we're talking
Speaker 1: about the woman three sixty, So what does she look
Speaker 1: like on different perspectives? Right, because I'm thinking about just
Speaker 1: like spinning a top, and we're doing all these things
Speaker 1: all the time. Right, at what point did you say,
Speaker 1: you know what I want to become a mom. You
Speaker 1: didn't have the conventional route of motherhood. You went through surrogacy.
Speaker 1: You said you had a couple abortions in the past too,
Speaker 1: So at what point did you say, you know what
Speaker 1: this is for me? This is the route I'm going
Speaker 1: to have to take and being okay with that?
Speaker 3: You know, I felt a lot of guilt. I was
Speaker 3: young when I went through abortions. I was just young,
Speaker 3: just wasn't thinking. And then they came back to bite
Speaker 3: me in the butt of feeling guilt because it was
Speaker 3: very hard for me to get pregnant, and all those
Speaker 3: guilt feelings came back. And I made peace with it
Speaker 3: because a woman came up to me at a faith
Speaker 3: conference and she said, because I felt so guilty, and
Speaker 3: I was like this, I'm cursed so I can't have
Speaker 3: a baby. And she said to me, she said, Sherry,
Speaker 3: I need you to name the babies, and she said,
Speaker 3: because when you get up to heaven, because that's where
Speaker 3: you're going. She said, when you get up there, they're
Speaker 3: gonna be waiting for you, and they're gonna be waiting
Speaker 3: with their arms wide open, saying Mama, Oh my God.
Speaker 3: And I tell you I cried. I cried, and I
Speaker 3: felt God's just forgiveness come over me, and so I
Speaker 3: can talk about it like that, yes, because I know
Speaker 3: that He's forgiven. But then it was like once that happened,
Speaker 3: it was like something released in me. And then then
Speaker 3: I went through that I don't know if I can
Speaker 3: do this. I don't know if I'm going to be
Speaker 3: a good mother because I came from a you know,
Speaker 3: generations of single mothers in my family that we were
Speaker 3: always having to do it by ourself. So I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm want to bring that child into the world. And
Speaker 3: then so I got married and I finally was like,
Speaker 3: oh kayah, and then everything went to hell and a
Speaker 3: handbasket and I was a single mother with a child
Speaker 3: that has special needs. So it is it's it's been
Speaker 3: a journey, like being a mother and feeling like I'm enough,
Speaker 3: you know, and being with Jeffrey. I love being a mama,
Speaker 3: but I go through Gosh, I go through something, especially
Speaker 3: if you have a son and he's black with special needs.
Speaker 1: Every day it's probably like label, label, label, but.
Speaker 3: I always worry every day, Like Jeffrey is different, he
Speaker 3: processes differently, so I worry. He's nineteen. He looks like
Speaker 3: he's twenty three. But if you were to looked at
Speaker 3: my son, you would see a fourteen year old. You'd see,
Speaker 3: you know, And I go, well, the police recognize that
Speaker 3: my son's you know, my son doesn't want to have
Speaker 3: a label. When I say, if your phone runs out, babe,
Speaker 3: tell people you are to stick and you just trying
Speaker 3: to get in touch with their mom. And my son says,
Speaker 3: I'm not going to tell people that because I'm not. WOW.
Speaker 1: So he doesn't subscribe.
Speaker 4: He doesn'tscribe.
Speaker 3: He was misdiagnosed wow up until the time he's nineteen.
Speaker 3: He was diagnosed with that at sixteen.
Speaker 1: Is that why you say that sometimes you feel like
Speaker 1: he's like tricking you, like he's.
Speaker 4: Not sometimes feeling because he's so smart.
Speaker 1: Right, Because Dakoda, our two year old, was diagnosed as
Speaker 1: speech delayed. Yeah, and you know, we went to see
Speaker 1: a therapist. Of course, you know, all hands on deck.
Speaker 1: Now we're all talking to him every day, like Dakota.
Speaker 7: Here and check.
Speaker 1: We do all these things because of course, as a parent,
Speaker 1: you do your due diligence, you see, and make sure
Speaker 1: that your child is okay with all the resources. And
Speaker 1: after a couple of months, the Coda starts talking. And
Speaker 1: now he's talking up a storm, and we're thinking to ourselves,
Speaker 1: I think he duped us the whole time. And he's like,
Speaker 1: he's like, y'all mofos up in his house talking. I God,
Speaker 1: damn day, all seven of y'all because my parents live
Speaker 1: with us. So he's like between my parents talking asses,
Speaker 1: between my brothers giving me what I want, between my
Speaker 1: grandparents talking for me. Why do I have to talk?
Speaker 1: So it's funny how sometimes these children, we do all
Speaker 1: the things, and they have these labels they want to
Speaker 1: place on our black boys. But then it's like, no, baby,
Speaker 1: my baby, My baby knows what's going on.
Speaker 3: He's so he's so very smart. My son will recognize.
Speaker 3: We saw a basketball star from the seventies. He was
Speaker 3: crossing the street and Jeffrey goes, that's so and so,
Speaker 3: and he made this many.
Speaker 4: Three pointers in Then I was like, first of all,
Speaker 4: who is that?
Speaker 3: I was an all black man and I said, excuse me, sir,
Speaker 3: are you I can't remember his name and he said,
Speaker 3: yes I am, And I said my son, Like, can
Speaker 3: you take a picture of him? Because he knows you?
Speaker 3: And he was so like, I believe it. Jeffrey's just
Speaker 3: like he's just he knows all the stats and things.
Speaker 1: And at that point, you're like, you want to be
Speaker 1: on my show. I know it's like, oh you.
Speaker 3: Somebody, you somebody somebody, But yeah, a lot of times
Speaker 3: I feel Jeffrey. He's so smart in different things. But
Speaker 3: I also go, shiy, are you doing the right thing
Speaker 3: for Jeffrey? Are you too protective? Are you too? I've
Speaker 3: had to let go of a lot because I don't
Speaker 3: have a partner with me raised Jeffrey of really releasing him.
Speaker 3: My girlfriend. You always have to have a girlfriend that
Speaker 3: like talk to God like every day.
Speaker 4: She don't want to.
Speaker 3: She want to say God told me, and I literally
Speaker 3: she said to me, because I'm so protective of Jeffrey,
Speaker 3: And she said, God said to tell you you got
Speaker 3: to release him. And I said, what does that mean?
Speaker 3: She said, he said, who knows Jeffrey better his mother
Speaker 3: or the one who created him. You've got to release
Speaker 3: him to me. And so even moving out here to
Speaker 3: New York, I didn't want to do it because my
Speaker 3: village is in la And she said, God said, New
Speaker 3: York is not for you, Sherry, it is for Jeffrey.
Speaker 3: That is where he will find his independence. And when
Speaker 3: I tell you this boy walks to the bodega by himself,
Speaker 3: he picks he gets the ubers by himself. He done
Speaker 3: lost about ten of the house keys, and you know,
Speaker 3: Jeffrey's like.
Speaker 4: Well, whatever, we're going to another one.
Speaker 3: No, Jeffrey, were not behind gated community, you would get
Speaker 3: not to say, are.
Speaker 7: You the man that's just like, now everybody gonna get
Speaker 7: in my house?
Speaker 4: Yes, mother, I'm like everybody from prison. Don't take that
Speaker 4: uber and find those keys.
Speaker 3: And don't come up and kill everybody because you then
Speaker 3: lost it. And he's like, well then I won't get
Speaker 3: another one, and I get your mom thing to do.
Speaker 3: We always go to the worst case, the worst case baby.
Speaker 3: But he's so independent, Like he went to Times Square
Speaker 3: by himself, to daven Busters to play video games and
Speaker 3: like he and I'm like Jeffrey, and he's like, stop
Speaker 3: calling me. I'm fine, Stop texting me. And I texted
Speaker 3: him Kadeen, and I said, Jeffrey, I just wanted because
Speaker 3: he texted me. He said, I'm going to a restaurant.
Speaker 3: Because they don't money don't mean nothing because they got
Speaker 3: Apple pay. They think money falls from the phone. From
Speaker 3: the phone, he says, I'm going to get something to eat.
Speaker 3: So I was sitting here like this and I texted
Speaker 3: him and said, are you okay? And I called because
Speaker 3: he didn't answer. I says, it's everything okay. He goes, Mom,
Speaker 3: I don't call you when you're eating your lunch. Why
Speaker 3: are you calling me when I'm eating my lunch?
Speaker 4: Everything is fine?
Speaker 3: Why keep calling me?
Speaker 1: You got life through sixty on his phone job, I
Speaker 1: got life three six, I got.
Speaker 3: Life eight eighty, I got it all. Yeah, I got
Speaker 3: a lasting girl. When I tell you, I so just
Speaker 3: the letting go and letting. I've had to let men
Speaker 3: into his life because I'm not a man. So there's
Speaker 3: things that a man can teach Jeffrey that I just can't.
Speaker 3: I used to let that boy take a shower and
Speaker 3: put He puts the towel right above his dad on
Speaker 3: a yeah, and there was a man do Hughley or
Speaker 3: Cat Williams. Somebody was like, Sherry, he got to drop
Speaker 3: the towel, he got to drop the town put it
Speaker 3: on the stomach.
Speaker 4: And I said, well, I don't want Florid to get all.
Speaker 1: Wet, Sherry, Listen, we had an incident recently three days
Speaker 1: ago in our house. Jackson had a basketball game, okay,
Speaker 1: and Javal said, you know, he wasn't playing hard and
Speaker 1: he's gonna let these kids pump him. And he's growing
Speaker 1: up in this part of Georgia and he's not in
Speaker 1: the streets like I.
Speaker 3: Wasn't in Brooklyn. And I need to drop him off
Speaker 3: in a park in Brooklyn so he can get a
Speaker 3: man up.
Speaker 1: So he's carrying on after the game, right, And of
Speaker 1: course the mom is like, I just want to just hug,
Speaker 1: just hug them. Yes, some leting that Val do his things.
Speaker 1: I never want to underman mine a bad moment or
Speaker 1: a teachable moment in his eyes. And I've never been
Speaker 1: a boy before, but been a man, don't aspire to
Speaker 1: be one. So I'm like, listen, I'm going to let
Speaker 1: you know, lean on you for those moments. So they
Speaker 1: got we got home. I'm thinking everything is okay, but
Speaker 1: I'm noticing there's an air between Jackson and Deval. They're
Speaker 1: kind of passing each other the Vols pissed, you know.
Speaker 1: And then Jackson's kind of like walking through to because
Speaker 1: he's thirteen, so he's starting to feel himself a little right.
Speaker 1: So Deval leaves the gym sweaty, says he's going to
Speaker 1: take a shower. I said, all right, cool, I'll meet
Speaker 1: you upstairs. And then I hear like a rustling, tussling
Speaker 1: situation upstairs, and I'm like, these kids didn't go to
Speaker 1: bed dick Because I'm looking at the time, I'm like
Speaker 1: thinking it's hair own cash jumping off the bunk beds.
Speaker 1: Jackson and Devl from my point of view, are fighting,
Speaker 1: like physically fighting. So then my mom comes around the
Speaker 1: corner and she's like, we can't let this happen, and
Speaker 1: she's sprinting up the stairs and I'm like, Doesval what's
Speaker 1: going on? And as I'm like, literally, Jackson's on the floor,
Speaker 1: then Deval's on the floor, and they're fighting in my
Speaker 1: eyes and my mom's eyes. So we get upstairs and
Speaker 1: they go into Jackson's room and de Val closes the
Speaker 1: door and he was like, I'm having a moment with Jackson,
Speaker 1: leave us alone. So my mother busts through the door
Speaker 1: and she's like, you're not gonna do this.
Speaker 4: You're not doing this show my grandson.
Speaker 1: So de Val was just like, this is my house
Speaker 1: and now I'm gonna do what I want to do
Speaker 1: with my sons and if you can't respect that, and
Speaker 1: I was like, whoa, it became a thing, Sherry, right.
Speaker 1: So once everything calmed down after, Deval was like, did
Speaker 1: you really think that I was going to hurt our son.
Speaker 1: I've never raised the hand to you, never raised the
Speaker 1: hand to Our kids don't even get spanked. We're the
Speaker 1: parents that unlike what you said growing up, you don't
Speaker 1: look in the eye and you kind of just listen
Speaker 1: and you don't speak back. We have very candid, eye
Speaker 1: to eye locked in conversations with our boys. And he said,
Speaker 1: did you really think that I would do that? And
Speaker 1: I said, Deval, I said, I don't think you would
Speaker 1: do that. However, based on the tone for the day
Speaker 1: and what I heard and then seeing you guys looking
Speaker 1: like it wasn't like a little slack box and to me,
Speaker 1: I'm looking at y'all like y'all are tussling and fighting,
Speaker 1: and then he uses the relation between like a lion
Speaker 1: and a cub, and you know, the cub jumping on
Speaker 1: the lion and fighting him and then biting the lion,
Speaker 1: the daddy lion and guided lions like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm so hurt, so that the lion cub can feel empowered, like,
Speaker 1: oh I beat my dad. Wow.
Speaker 7: I said, if we were having a lion king moment,
Speaker 7: and if I was supposed to be so robbie, you
Speaker 7: should let me know what's happening, like, like, let me know, given,
Speaker 7: so I can keep mom at bay, and then I
Speaker 7: can stay at Basically, y'all can have y'all moment, child,
Speaker 7: because from I'm looking up in the stairways, what I'm seeing,
Speaker 7: I'm seeing you tussling with my baby. So the first thing,
Speaker 7: as a mom I'm gonna do is run to his
Speaker 7: defense exactly. So in that moment, it was just so
Speaker 7: funny to me because I'm like, I can't teach Jackson.
Speaker 3: Certain things I would have never known, and I would
Speaker 3: have never known that that was the process. I have
Speaker 3: never known that a boy needs to feel empowered and
Speaker 3: that is a way that he can be because I'm
Speaker 3: a woman.
Speaker 1: That is confidence, so I'm gonna fight.
Speaker 3: Oh exactly. I teach Jeffrey how to avoid conflict and
Speaker 3: that's literally what moms do.
Speaker 1: And then, of course we spoke to mom after and
Speaker 1: devout apologize for raising his vote and all that, but
Speaker 1: my mom was like, we teach them to diffuse situations.
Speaker 1: Especially as a young black man growing up in America.
Speaker 1: You don't want to be the antagonizer. And dev I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, but you also don't want to be
Speaker 1: someone's doormat. You have to walk around with a persona
Speaker 1: and a confidence that people know, don't mess with me.
Speaker 1: And it starts even on the basketball court. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I didn't know. I thought he was being a team player, Like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm at the basketball court when I see
Speaker 3: what I would see Jeffrey, and I'd be like, y'all
Speaker 3: talk to each other. Stop talking to each other like
Speaker 3: that be nice. And he was like, but that's that's
Speaker 3: the thing.
Speaker 4: That's it.
Speaker 3: You know why I had to allow men and I
Speaker 3: had to pray about that. Oh man, Lord put the
Speaker 3: right men in Jeffrey's life and you pray for the
Speaker 3: discernment to the discernment to allow them to you know,
Speaker 3: because I would have men that would say, Jeffrey, when
Speaker 3: I shake your hand, come on, look at.
Speaker 4: Me, tell me what your name is. Firm, I would say, oh, y'all.
Speaker 3: One a friend was teaching him, like how to ride
Speaker 3: a back and I was like, he can't ride that far.
Speaker 3: You talking about up the hills and downs and down
Speaker 3: the fact he only can go to a house. And
Speaker 3: then he came back. He was like, Mommy, we rode
Speaker 3: all the way to Kim Whitley's house. And I was like,
Speaker 3: that's ten of miles. What are you doing a match?
Speaker 3: And he was like he could do and do it.
Speaker 3: And men are the tears. Don't bother men. For us
Speaker 3: as mothers, we are that nurturing for sure, you know.
Speaker 3: And I've and it's speaking about that. We'll now we
Speaker 3: go home and go Jeffrey, come on, fight me, come on,
Speaker 3: fight me. He's gonna be right, this lady going on.
Speaker 1: But it's apparently like a known fact though, that when
Speaker 1: the boys are with their fathers that they get their oxytocin,
Speaker 1: which is that cuddle hormone, that that that yearn to
Speaker 1: be with their dad through play, fighting, playing sports, running
Speaker 1: and all that, whereas with moms they get that from
Speaker 1: cuddling and closeness and skin to skin. So it's a
Speaker 1: very different dynamic and.
Speaker 3: Serves such different purposes. See, he spent thirty days with
Speaker 3: his dad as camp counselor, and he didn't call me
Speaker 3: one time, And I was like, what did you and
Speaker 3: your daddy doing?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 4: And his father was like, let I got him.
Speaker 3: He can do it. But see with you, bactly, he
Speaker 3: can't do it me.
Speaker 1: He won't do it, and they will. They will push that.
Speaker 1: Jackson's doing his laundry now, I said, you know, told
Speaker 1: my mom, I said, Jackson thirteen, I said, every Sunday
Speaker 1: or everybody wants to plan his schedule out. Yes, he's
Speaker 1: responsible for his laundry.
Speaker 7: Now.
Speaker 1: He already has so many responsibilities. And you're gonna make
Speaker 1: him do laundry too, Oh my goodness. But after I'm
Speaker 1: washing everybody's clothes, Why I can't just wash his close to,
Speaker 1: I said, Grandma, because you won't be at college to
Speaker 1: wash his draw wash. He needs to learn how to
Speaker 1: set rate, full drive, pack away and all that. Like
Speaker 1: we're trying to raise men so we're looking for a
Speaker 1: house for Mimi and Papa because we're like, listen, y'all
Speaker 1: are enabling these boys too much. And if the bell
Speaker 1: I got to fight them to get them to be men,
Speaker 1: because y'all hear, you know, waiting on them hand and foot,
Speaker 1: Then we're gonna have to figure out how to make
Speaker 1: this work. Well, Jeffrey, how do you even told the
Speaker 1: line between being like friend disciplinarian parents? Like how do
Speaker 1: you you navigate that?
Speaker 4: You know, it's funny because.
Speaker 1: It seems like it's pretty difficult for you, Sherry.
Speaker 4: But you know it's funny.
Speaker 3: Because I've raised Jeffrey to speak sometimes. I didn't raised
Speaker 3: them to speak too much because I came from a
Speaker 3: place like when we say that's enough, you stop. Jeffrey's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: but Mom, why But you know, but I saw you
Speaker 3: do this, and I'm like, okay, now you're pulling up receipts, Jeffrey, Ah,
Speaker 3: you're pulling up receipts in the way I was. I can't, Oh,
Speaker 3: why do I let you have this freedom to talk
Speaker 3: to me?
Speaker 1: Baby?
Speaker 3: But you know it's so funny because I do feel
Speaker 3: like at some point Jeffrey and I we are close
Speaker 3: like that. We are close like friends, but he still
Speaker 3: knows I'm your mother, you know. And there's sometimes I'll
Speaker 3: let Jeffrey he wants to tell me a story, but
Speaker 3: they cursed, and I go, Jeffrey, you can curse. You
Speaker 3: can say the curse and you will fly with the
Speaker 3: curse words. And I'm like, Okay, now it's enough, Jeffrey.
Speaker 3: But Jeffrey will come and tell me when he you know,
Speaker 3: like a girl. He likes and we do, and I
Speaker 3: like him to talk because I say, Jeffrey, you got
Speaker 3: to tell me stuff because I can't protect you if
Speaker 3: I don't know. And it keeps me involved. So I'm
Speaker 3: very thankful for that. But raising a boy is you
Speaker 3: know who I'm thankful for boy rather because girls are
Speaker 3: are something they have issues. But it has been such
Speaker 3: a it has been such a wonderful journey, and I've
Speaker 3: definitely needed God, you know, for me. With Jeffrey Darling.
Speaker 3: I let him use the bathroom. Will It took me
Speaker 3: a long time to let him go to the bathroom
Speaker 3: by himself. I find a man to go. Can you
Speaker 3: go in there and make sure my son.
Speaker 1: Is exactly baby, I'll I'm still trying to take Jackson
Speaker 1: to the woman's bathroom and he's like, Mom, I'm thirteen now,
Speaker 1: I said, just predators everywhere. Just with that.
Speaker 3: It was at about thirteen, Jeffrey said, I'm not going
Speaker 3: in there, mom, with the with the girls. And then
Speaker 3: somebody told me Jesus is always a comic. They say,
Speaker 3: you gotta let Jeffrey his pants aren't supposed to hang
Speaker 3: down fall to the floor.
Speaker 4: Sherry and I said, what are you talking about? Because
Speaker 4: they went in the tower.
Speaker 3: It was the town. He was like, he can't let
Speaker 3: his butt be showing in the puppy bathroom and I
Speaker 3: said I didn't know because I didn't want him.
Speaker 4: I was teaching him to aim for the cheerios the toilet.
Speaker 3: I didn't want the pants, and he so to go
Speaker 3: and down was like, Jeffrey, pull up your pants when
Speaker 3: you go to I said, well, a least I wouldn't
Speaker 3: like somebody else. And they made him sit on the
Speaker 3: toilet at.
Speaker 4: Lisa, Lisa can stand up girl.
Speaker 1: Let me say, we have a bathroom in our house
Speaker 1: that we call I call it the gas station bathroom
Speaker 1: because it's the one bathroom in the house that the
Speaker 1: boys and my dad used Austin. I never send guests
Speaker 1: there or anything. I will never know what you're gonna
Speaker 1: walk in to sit on, you know. So that's the
Speaker 1: gas station bathroom I make.
Speaker 3: Jeffrey he washes his clothes by himself, except he always
Speaker 3: throws it. He never takes. I keep saying, check the dryer,
Speaker 3: because my stuff is in there. Girl. He then threw
Speaker 3: towels in there with my stuff, his clothes. Ohtak My
Speaker 3: stuff then shrunk. But he cleans his bathroom every Saturday.
Speaker 3: He's got a bucket and the gloves. And I make
Speaker 3: because I said, you're not gonna have some woman saying
Speaker 3: to you, you're nasty ass, quick.
Speaker 1: To blame, blame us, to blame the mother devalles miss,
Speaker 1: the social butterfly. And you know there's a select few
Speaker 1: of people that he will invite by the house. And
Speaker 1: I said, can you at least give me a head
Speaker 1: up when someone's coming by a so I'm not just
Speaker 1: in my braw right. And then too, because if someone
Speaker 1: comes to your house and you're not accommodating, you're not
Speaker 1: a good host, or things are out of place, they're
Speaker 1: not gonna blame you the exactly you as if I'm
Speaker 1: not over here juggling all the things you've been working out.
Speaker 3: Sherry, though, girl just came from the gym. You see here,
Speaker 3: you've been locked in. I've been locked in.
Speaker 1: Was like a turning point for you where you were
Speaker 1: just like, O, I got to lock in. I know
Speaker 1: you struggle with the diabetes thing, and you know all
Speaker 1: that get in controlled, so locked into your health.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get locked into my health because, Jeffrey said,
Speaker 3: because I'm also a type two diabetic, diabetes runs in
Speaker 3: my family. You know I have, We've lost family members
Speaker 3: to diabetes, and so I'm very passionate about that. And
Speaker 3: I just realized. Jeffrey said to me one time, Kaden,
Speaker 3: I think I was eating a candy bar or something
Speaker 3: because I was stressed out. I'm a stress eater. And
Speaker 3: he said, Mommy, Mommy, if you die, who's going to
Speaker 3: be my bodyguard?
Speaker 1: Oh? No?
Speaker 3: And I said what? Because when I eat chocolate raising
Speaker 3: my blood sugar and then I get eared of bil.
Speaker 3: I was like, what are you talking about? He goes,
Speaker 3: if you die, who's going to take care of me?
Speaker 3: And that really hit me, wow, because I lost my
Speaker 3: mother when I was in my early twenties. Twenty two
Speaker 3: she was forty one. Wow, she was very young when
Speaker 3: she passed away, and she left a girl to raise
Speaker 3: her two sisters who didn't know what she was doing.
Speaker 3: I don't know what I was doing by myself, but
Speaker 3: I had to learn to learn because my mother was
Speaker 3: not there. And I love people who have their mothers
Speaker 3: in their lives. There's so many times I would love
Speaker 3: to call my mother and go, what do I do?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: We could be friends now, but I'm very passionate about
Speaker 3: my health because to me, it's like it ain't about
Speaker 3: fitting in a size six gens or putting on a bikini.
Speaker 3: It's literally I look at that boy, Jeffrey, and I go,
Speaker 3: I need to be here. We were talking about because
Speaker 3: my father has dementia and he's in a facility that
Speaker 3: we care for him. And I said, Jeffrey, I was
Speaker 3: explaining what Alzheimer's was, and he said, so that means
Speaker 3: you might not remember me?
Speaker 4: And I said, no, no, Jeffrey, I don't.
Speaker 3: I don't have that. He said, oh good, because I
Speaker 3: don't know what I would do if you couldn't remember me.
Speaker 3: And it was just like it was again those moment confirmation, Sure,
Speaker 3: you gotta do whatever you can do to take care
Speaker 3: of your health, and then you're trusting in God for sure.
Speaker 3: I'm so you know at this age, girl, welcome to
Speaker 3: the club. You're gonna be wiser, not say no, it's
Speaker 3: all those great things, but it's also then you're gonna
Speaker 3: realize your muscle start to melt. Unless you do heavyweight, anyweight,
Speaker 3: you gonna have more protein in your life. It's like
Speaker 3: my timeline on Instagram is not feel.
Speaker 4: With people who like okay SOUTHIEK.
Speaker 3: My timeline is you need more magnesium, you need potassium.
Speaker 3: These are the foot exercises you do when you wake up,
Speaker 3: just lower backstretches. Just when you got your hips is
Speaker 3: too tight. I'm like, oh my god, I ain't gonna
Speaker 3: be to use my hips just sex. Like that's what
Speaker 3: my timeline is. It's like all of like this is
Speaker 3: what you should say, like low carbs, high protein.
Speaker 1: That is what my right before you came in down
Speaker 1: like I don't get my side bowl because you know,
Speaker 1: thank you, we can't even eat the things when you
Speaker 1: said I ordered French toast and bacon this morning for him.
Speaker 1: He had one bite and that was it.
Speaker 3: That's it. Now Now it's like it's it's about taking
Speaker 3: care of your health.
Speaker 4: And it's internally internally.
Speaker 3: So it's great the perks I being able to wear
Speaker 3: great things, but if you're not internally.
Speaker 1: Feeling good, that's a fact.
Speaker 3: It's hard to take care of everybody else. It's hard
Speaker 3: to deal with with, you know, because Black women are
Speaker 3: having more heart attacks because of stress and and because my.
Speaker 1: Mom hell and that's stress and too young. Stress and
Speaker 1: stress induce because we as.
Speaker 3: Black women, we handle so much. We have to take
Speaker 3: care of our immediate family and then the rest of
Speaker 3: the family. And if you the one that has made it,
Speaker 3: everybody calls.
Speaker 1: You know what, I call myself elmer, and that's it
Speaker 1: the glue, because you're holding everybody and that's very, very stressful.
Speaker 3: I go through it with my family. I go through it,
Speaker 3: you know, and then people who just need you and
Speaker 3: call on you, and.
Speaker 1: It's like and it's the desire to want to be
Speaker 1: there to show up for them. However you can't because.
Speaker 3: You feel guilty that you made it, and then you're
Speaker 3: doing it's just so many of we're still trying to
Speaker 3: make a girl still and when people from my family
Speaker 3: like girl can cuzzo.
Speaker 4: That's what cuzzo, Auntie. I'm like this what I got
Speaker 4: to do with this money?
Speaker 3: This money, this money, But we have to treat our
Speaker 3: bodies special in order to even deal with stress. And
Speaker 3: so I just said, you know what, Sherry, I don't
Speaker 3: want to be the person that wishes I would have
Speaker 3: prioritized my health or wishes I would have done things different.
Speaker 3: Why don't I do it now? And every day I
Speaker 3: say God, thank you for giving me another chance to
Speaker 3: get this right. And it's not like I was at
Speaker 3: a place where I didn't like going to the gym,
Speaker 3: and I said, I want to get to that place
Speaker 3: where I yearned for the gym. I want to get
Speaker 3: to that place where it's like So I've even changed
Speaker 3: my the way I speak, because I used to always say, oh,
Speaker 3: I hate going to the gym, but I gotta do it.
Speaker 3: Now I go. Lord, thank you for giving me the
Speaker 3: opportunity to treat my body right. Thank you for for
Speaker 3: the ability to move. Thank you that you blessing me
Speaker 3: to lift these weights. Lord, blessed me to have a
Speaker 3: good time when I go to the gym, because it's
Speaker 3: some stuff. I'm just like, there's this one that you
Speaker 3: got to do for your booty come down exactly.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I have heard tight for me, my
Speaker 1: hip flexes be too tight. And I was like, you've
Speaker 1: been stretching lately, though, I said, how could you tell.
Speaker 3: Them? Hip flexes ain't nothing.
Speaker 4: It's like last Tuesday, I can't open.
Speaker 3: Lex and when the lower back starts to hurt in
Speaker 3: the lower at the.
Speaker 1: Point now where we even go to hotels, and I'm
Speaker 1: like that bed was a good babys a bad matcher
Speaker 1: when I tell you so.
Speaker 3: And even when I go to barbecue's family functions, you
Speaker 3: know when you used to do them little things and
Speaker 3: you tell your nieces, I can do a back bed, baby,
Speaker 3: I'm went like this, and I said, oh oh oh,
Speaker 3: we can't do the bridge.
Speaker 1: Now, I can't do a split like I used.
Speaker 3: I try to do a little round off, but I said, ooh,
Speaker 3: my wrisk.
Speaker 1: No no, no, this a couple of days to recover
Speaker 1: from one things.
Speaker 3: So, yes, health is important to me because also to
Speaker 3: do what God has called you to do, you've got
Speaker 3: to be healthy.
Speaker 1: It's part of the process. It's part of what he's
Speaker 1: requiring from you as well.
Speaker 3: Because it's gonna take a lot of energy to walk
Speaker 3: in that purpose, yes, and he don't want you breathing
Speaker 3: hard and you can't tie your shoe, and you sitting
Speaker 3: there feeling like, oh my gosh, that's not what his will.
Speaker 5: Is for you.
Speaker 3: It's for you to be healthy. And so I'm just like,
Speaker 3: make the changes now, sharey, so that when you so
Speaker 3: you can proudly say I'm.
Speaker 1: Fifties, then you're gonna be like, I'm seventy seven.
Speaker 3: Grand follow women. I follow women at the seventy eight
Speaker 3: me Girlnaty dancing any draws. I'm like this, old ladies
Speaker 3: that's seventy eight years old. Be like muchels lean all that.
Speaker 8: When I'm telling you, girl, So, as we wrap things up,
Speaker 8: who would you say your career or your life so
Speaker 8: far has been a love letter to.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, I would say Jeffrey. Of course everybody knows.
Speaker 3: But I would say my mother because my mother never
Speaker 3: got to see this. My mother saw the struggle. My
Speaker 3: mother saw me because she was she was so sick.
Speaker 3: So I would have to drive from La to San Bernardino,
Speaker 3: which is an hour and a half every night to
Speaker 3: drive her around because that's the only way she would
Speaker 3: go to sleep for hours. I would drive my mother around.
Speaker 3: I was always with her at the hospital, and so
Speaker 3: then I would drive back to LA because I had
Speaker 3: to go to work, and then I had to hit
Speaker 3: a comedy club at nighttime. So she's my mother saw
Speaker 3: that the struggle. So when I do things, I do
Speaker 3: it because I go, mam, can you see me?
Speaker 4: Sometimes I go Laverne and I go ooh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I just want to try answer mine. I want to
Speaker 3: see if I can use your first name. But I
Speaker 3: do it for my mother because she just didn't get
Speaker 3: to see this. And I hope that she's looking and
Speaker 3: she's very proud of me, and I hope that she's
Speaker 3: proud of me as a mother and as a sister.
Speaker 1: And you know, do you think she'd be surprised that
Speaker 1: like her little shy Sherry or did she get to
Speaker 1: see Sherry being a little bit more ongoing before her passing.
Speaker 3: I hope that, I you know, it's really because I
Speaker 3: lost her so early, we never got to the friendship
Speaker 3: portion we still were at the I was the child,
Speaker 3: you're the mother, and I became the caretaker, so I
Speaker 3: never really got to see who my mother was as
Speaker 3: a woman. My mother gave up everything, Like my dad
Speaker 3: slept with my mother on a dare. He was a jock.
Speaker 3: She was very studious and very shy, didn't talk to
Speaker 3: anybody from six kids, and it was a dare that
Speaker 3: because she had a crush on her. It was a dare.
Speaker 3: But she got pregnant the very first time. Wow, And
Speaker 3: everybody wanted her to aboord, thank you Lord. She did not,
Speaker 3: and she was forced to get married to my dad.
Speaker 4: I have pictures.
Speaker 3: I found pictures of her, and she looked so scared
Speaker 3: at eighteen years old, and her mother in law looked
Speaker 3: a because my mother in law didn't like it, just
Speaker 3: was looking at it like you ain't good enough on
Speaker 3: my side, So telling the pictures and she was so scared,
Speaker 3: and so she wanted to be a doctor, and she
Speaker 3: never got. She stayed and she took care of her family,
Speaker 3: her three girls, but she never got to fulfill her dreams.
Speaker 3: Which is why I'm so passionate about for my show,
Speaker 3: wanting to inspire women to take hold of a dream
Speaker 3: that you put on the fine with the fine china
Speaker 3: on that shelf, and it's been dusty, and you've been scared,
Speaker 3: and that thing on your face like this says, who
Speaker 3: do you think? Who do you think you are? Yeah,
Speaker 3: it's like you're not You're not good enough, you're not
Speaker 3: smart enough, you're too fat, you're too skinny, you're not
Speaker 3: that voice, and you never reached for it. And because
Speaker 3: of my mom, I want to inspire women that we
Speaker 3: see you, that life is short. Try it. I always say,
Speaker 3: on the other side of fear are we're all the
Speaker 3: blessings lines. So I do this really for my mother.
Speaker 3: Laverne era shepherd maiden named worried. Wow, that's beautiful my mommy.
Speaker 1: I'm sure, Yeah, I'm sure mom is up there. Just
Speaker 1: that's my baby.
Speaker 4: I hope it.
Speaker 3: Girl. Everybody keeps saying, you know, I asked got when
Speaker 3: I see a white butterfly, Kim Whitley says this all
Speaker 3: the time. When I see a white butterfly, I know
Speaker 3: that's my mother. That people always say. You know.
Speaker 4: I heard the song and I knew that was my mother,
Speaker 4: and I go, Lord, can you bless my mother to
Speaker 4: do something?
Speaker 3: Give me a sign.
Speaker 4: I slipped and sail and had a light pole.
Speaker 6: I was like, that's my dead MoMA. I told you
Speaker 6: not to walk that way. Tabitha Brown has the dimes.
Speaker 6: Have you heard the story about her brown has done.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I always I always ask my grandmother too, because I
Speaker 1: lost one in March and another one years before I
Speaker 1: got a little before I got married, And I always like,
Speaker 1: just visit me in my dreams. Do something, bit me,
Speaker 1: do something, do something, show me something.
Speaker 3: I'm always going, Mama, how do I handle this situation?
Speaker 3: It'll be silent, and I'm like, Lord, can you just
Speaker 3: I know she's having a good time up there, just say,
Speaker 3: just tell Sherry Needer for a little just a little bit,
Speaker 3: cause she come away from the party for a minute, just.
Speaker 1: A little bit. She's having a grando time.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 1: And in the vein of of course, this is a
Speaker 1: day with k But you know, of course dead ass
Speaker 1: is the brand for us. Tell me something you're.
Speaker 3: Dead ass about.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're in New York, you know what the
Speaker 1: phrase means. So I'm dead ass about.
Speaker 3: You know, I'm dead ass about living lighte and enjoying
Speaker 3: every moment and being present to every moment I am.
Speaker 3: I'm like dad ass about really making a difference, whether
Speaker 3: it be a smile, whether it be just talking to somebody.
Speaker 3: That's what it is all about for me. It's like life,
Speaker 3: if we didn't learn anything from being in the house
Speaker 3: for almost two years and losing people that we love,
Speaker 3: it's to step out and do things bigger and to
Speaker 3: dream bigger, Like what else can we How can we
Speaker 3: be of service and love? That's what I'm about this
Speaker 3: political season. It's like, we gotta we got to infuse
Speaker 3: more love in all the in this whole political season
Speaker 3: because when we are losing it, And that's what I'm
Speaker 3: Dad asked about about, how can I how can I love?
Speaker 3: How can I be of service? And just love may
Speaker 3: make people feel better?
Speaker 1: Well, this is one of those moments. This is one
Speaker 1: of those moments where I thank you, Sherry. You have
Speaker 1: no idea what this means to me, because it's not
Speaker 1: often that you find women who can can can build together,
Speaker 1: who can grow together, who can mentor each other and
Speaker 1: not feel threatened by each other, but just love on
Speaker 1: each other in whatever process is. Because I'm a firm
Speaker 1: believer that what God has in place for me is
Speaker 1: always gonna be for me. It's not nobody's gonna take it,
Speaker 1: No one's gonna take it.
Speaker 3: Reason to be threatened, because He's got a purpose for
Speaker 3: everybody everyone. There is a uniqueness about you, KaDee that
Speaker 3: I don't have, but what I have you don't have exactly,
Speaker 3: and he's going to use it all because he gave
Speaker 3: it to us. So it's like I love because I've
Speaker 3: been through women who wouldn't support me, who I've asked,
Speaker 3: can you tell me? I'm trying to do this talk show.
Speaker 3: I don't even know how much money to ask for
Speaker 3: and what to do and how to navigate. I feel
Speaker 3: like I will share that when you get a deal
Speaker 3: and you want to call me and go, Sherry, I
Speaker 3: don't know if this is the money I'm supposed to go. Girl,
Speaker 3: here's what.
Speaker 4: You no not before, not you, but somebody who's coming on.
Speaker 3: How much money make you ain't none of your business, right,
Speaker 3: but doing what you do, I'm going I gotta tell
Speaker 3: you because this is and then you're gonna tell the
Speaker 3: next person the person word. We gotta pays forward.
Speaker 1: That's how we think.
Speaker 3: So we have to support each other. It's to you
Speaker 3: can't be like this and get blessed. It has to
Speaker 3: be like this because you got to step up away, y'all.
Speaker 4: You know Oprah when she gave me like she was
Speaker 4: like I'm passing the torch to you.
Speaker 1: I was like, that was your first story, you said
Speaker 1: for story show.
Speaker 3: But it's like you, it's it's it's your time, and
Speaker 3: what what what would it be fit me to be
Speaker 3: trying to block you. I'd rather be helping you. And
Speaker 3: God remembers that. So when I get in it and
Speaker 3: I'm like on the cusp because Saint Peter won't let
Speaker 3: me bring.
Speaker 5: Her one back and be like I helped her, and
Speaker 5: I'll I'll be from below like she okay, well, so
Speaker 5: any anything, I love.
Speaker 1: You so much for you for this time. I had
Speaker 1: to cut it because it's like we could talk.
Speaker 3: Through this day. You're gonna get this from everybody. This
Speaker 3: is not just gonna be me. It's because you're so
Speaker 3: good and you allow people to feel comfortable and be
Speaker 3: I've never talked about my mom like this. You allow
Speaker 3: people to be comfortable and wherever they're at, that's what
Speaker 3: you bring. You bring a peace, you bring a comfort,
Speaker 3: you bring a sister girl.
Speaker 8: I love that.
Speaker 1: That's the energy that I feel. So I guess it
Speaker 1: makes sense that when you are around people, you could
Speaker 1: feel that energy and space to open up. And I
Speaker 1: don't take that for girl.
Speaker 3: I'm excited for what God is going to do for you.
Speaker 3: I appreciate that I don't even want to let me,
Speaker 3: let me thank you so much. Of course, A day
Speaker 3: with k Baby.
Speaker 1: Sherry Shepherd's.
Speaker 2: Dead Ass is a production of Eye Hard Media podcast
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Speaker 2: the podcast on social media at dead Ass the Podcast
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