Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garle.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 1: Everyone, welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all
Speaker 1: about the choices we make. So today I'm joined by
Speaker 1: the incredible Brooke Berk, a woman who's worn a lot
Speaker 1: of hats and somehow keeps finding new ones that fit.
Speaker 1: From reality TV, both as a competitor and a host
Speaker 1: to parenting and partnerships, Brooke has made some really big
Speaker 1: choices on an off screen and in her heart. We're
Speaker 1: talking about resilience, reinvention, and how to move forward when
Speaker 1: things don't go as planned. There are going to be
Speaker 1: laughs and surprises, a few wellness hacks that you're going
Speaker 1: to want to google immediately, and a really beautiful reminder
Speaker 1: that choosing yourself doesn't have to be loud to be powerful.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Okay, this is so exciting. Hi. Hi,
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you since Soho House Christmas party or
Speaker 1: something like that.
Speaker 2: I heard, Yeah, good memory. You're absolutely right that was
Speaker 2: the last time we saw each other.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, okay, you just got back from one of
Speaker 1: your retreats, right, yes, tell me everything I need to
Speaker 1: know about this, because I love a good retreat.
Speaker 2: Oh my, gosh, I would be so honored and would
Speaker 2: love to have you ever join us, because yes, it's same,
Speaker 2: and we need it and it's not a rite of
Speaker 2: passage and we deserve it. And for any female that's listening,
Speaker 2: men too, we won't. It's mostly women that do this work.
Speaker 2: It's called the Pause, and we really are in such
Speaker 2: desperate need of a moment to just slow the hell
Speaker 2: down again, listen to that inner voice. Take some time out,
Speaker 2: check out, check in. You know what I'm talking about
Speaker 2: when mind around. A new sort of capsule on the
Speaker 2: brook Brook Body app called the feminine strength theory. But
Speaker 2: it's not strength and like what we're building and what
Speaker 2: we're lifting. It's the things that we're building in our
Speaker 2: life strength and how we show up strength in our surrender, strengthen,
Speaker 2: what we're holding on to strength and what we need
Speaker 2: to let go of. Like all yeah, is that we're
Speaker 2: not necessarily relating to the concept of strength, and I
Speaker 2: feel like that's a This is a new phase for
Speaker 2: us as women, introducing the feminine Strength theory. It's called
Speaker 2: the Pause because it's going to be a really amazing
Speaker 2: week to just slow the heck down. We need it.
Speaker 1: I need it and I need it.
Speaker 2: I love guiding this work.
Speaker 1: Yes, I can imagine how fulfilling this must be. I'm
Speaker 1: curious when did you start focusing. When did you feel
Speaker 1: that the choice was clear for you to start focusing
Speaker 1: on this sort of offshoot of what you've always done. Yeah,
Speaker 1: as an actress, as you know all the things that
Speaker 1: you've done, this.
Speaker 2: Is you find yourself in a similar space as well,
Speaker 2: because entertainment, like is the world that we come from,
Speaker 2: which I love. It has allowed me to do so
Speaker 2: many other things. And about seven years ago I launched
Speaker 2: my app, which started out as a fitness app, and
Speaker 2: now brook Body is about wellness and mindfulness and meditation
Speaker 2: and it's education. So it's become a much bigger picture.
Speaker 2: So there's a re educating right to our audience. I
Speaker 2: say hour because I know you're in that same.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, reinventing yourself is it's an undertaking. It's
Speaker 1: not even a reinvention, it's just like a realignment of
Speaker 1: what you want to focus on and what. For me,
Speaker 1: it was like finding that purpose and doing something that
Speaker 1: was meaningful to me that at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: I was like, I feel good about what I'm doing.
Speaker 2: I totally get that. I mean, doing what we're passionate
Speaker 2: about and living with purpose is such a huge conversation,
Speaker 2: especially from a world of entertainment where I pitched a
Speaker 2: hundred shows and nobody really cared about the owners. So
Speaker 2: upon myself and built the app and then accidentally actually
Speaker 2: got into the retreat space when I was redesigning my
Speaker 2: own life, when I was going through my second divorce,
Speaker 2: and I had no idea how much I was going
Speaker 2: to get out of it. So I feel like I
Speaker 2: receive more in every retreat experience than I give. Like
Speaker 2: minded women, we connect, we journal, we share meals, we
Speaker 2: develop lifelong friendships. It's meaningful beyond I feel like everyone
Speaker 2: deserves to do this kind of work. And the days
Speaker 2: are full journaling, having sisterhood circles, asking provoking questions, really
Speaker 2: kind of taking a journey back to self. And the
Speaker 2: last retreat that I did at Savannah, I have a
Speaker 2: new partnership there. It was called the Body Blueprint.
Speaker 1: That's in Arizona, right, that's.
Speaker 2: An Arizona and it's top ten wellness destinations in our country.
Speaker 2: And it's like a playground of just self care, self love,
Speaker 2: from fitness to mindfulness and everything in between. They even
Speaker 2: have like a ropes course and team building opportunities.
Speaker 1: Oh god, I don't want to do that. Do we
Speaker 1: have to do the team building like the ropes?
Speaker 2: I can't raise out yours? Yes, But interesting enough, I
Speaker 2: was doing a little deep dive on your Instagram and
Speaker 2: some of the great things that you're doing lately and
Speaker 2: title of the show, Oh right. I just recorded, unrelated
Speaker 2: to this, a new meditation called I Choose Menaha, my
Speaker 2: daughter because it's her first year at school and she's
Speaker 2: been far away, well not that far away, but it
Speaker 2: feels far away, you know. And I haven't really even
Speaker 2: dealt with that publicly yet because it's so difficult for
Speaker 2: me finding herself really in a new space and really
Speaker 2: struggling and struggling sort of navigating this next phase of
Speaker 2: life and the party scene and all of those that
Speaker 2: are not in alignment with who she is. And so
Speaker 2: I wrote a meditation for her that just kind of
Speaker 2: like came through me, and it's called I Choose Me,
Speaker 2: and it's about those choices that we make that are
Speaker 2: for us, that support our own path. So I had
Speaker 2: to share that. I'm actually going to send it to
Speaker 2: you if you want, you can share it with.
Speaker 1: Your I want it right now. I want you to
Speaker 1: send it to me. I'm going to do it tonight
Speaker 1: when I go to sleep.
Speaker 2: I would love that, but I'll send it to you
Speaker 2: and share it with your audience because it's such an
Speaker 2: amazing moment when you can, I guess, find the no
Speaker 2: with every yes, the yes with every no, and find
Speaker 2: yourself in a space of confident and so when you're
Speaker 2: making choices that might not be aligned with the people
Speaker 2: around you, and especially as a young woman navigating that
Speaker 2: new stage that Rain is in. I know how to
Speaker 2: do that really well. But I didn't in my thirties,
Speaker 2: and I didn't know. It took me into my fifties
Speaker 2: to really understand that when I show up differently, I
Speaker 2: show up in a stronger way. That's what the whole
Speaker 2: femine strength theory is about. I'm stronger because of the choices.
Speaker 2: Daughter calling me right now, which I knew she would.
Speaker 2: You say, this is my life and I have five
Speaker 2: children at home right now.
Speaker 1: You wait, you have five children at home right now.
Speaker 2: Right now on a podcast. I love you. Please don't
Speaker 2: call back unless it's an emergency.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, five kids.
Speaker 2: At home at home, it's crazy. So Mariah's touring, she's
Speaker 2: my oldest singer songwriter. Sierra's back from school, which I
Speaker 2: love having her home. And actually I lied, I still
Speaker 2: feel like I have five reigns in college. Was actually
Speaker 2: for at home right now.
Speaker 1: It feels like you it was hard for you to
Speaker 1: send her to it was she is your baby.
Speaker 2: She's my baby daughter, but he's daughter. It's just such
Speaker 2: a it's a just disruption of the foundation. And although
Speaker 2: it's amazing and it's her time, like the energetically, the
Speaker 2: whole dynamic of the family shifted as it should. I'm
Speaker 2: so happy that.
Speaker 1: I know it's supposed to shift, but it's hard for
Speaker 1: the people that have been in it for so long.
Speaker 2: When I work with so many women that go through this,
Speaker 2: and my oldest daughters, they stayed local and there was
Speaker 2: still a moment of change. But I feel like I guide,
Speaker 2: I guide so much and I need so much work
Speaker 2: that when I found myself in this one, I was
Speaker 2: just like, oh my god. I know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's harder to practice what you teach or preach.
Speaker 1: You know, they always say that practice what you preach,
Speaker 1: and sometimes that's real, real hard. I agree, especially you know,
Speaker 1: when the kids fly the nest and like dealing with
Speaker 1: all that, it's hard. It's hard to it's hard for
Speaker 1: me sometimes to take my own advice. To know, you know,
Speaker 1: I am talking about something, yet I'm not incorporating into
Speaker 1: my life. Yesterday I was I failed miserably at it
Speaker 1: or whatever. You know, do you ever find yourself in
Speaker 1: those positions, like when you're leading a retreat or a
Speaker 1: group of women, you know, that kind of vulnerability. And
Speaker 1: because I be honest, I adore you. I am a
Speaker 1: fan of yours. I look at your Instagram. I get
Speaker 1: like inspiration, I get your hacks, your tips. I love it.
Speaker 1: The lemon and the blender. It's all good. But you, yeah,
Speaker 1: the whole women. But I ei, there is an element
Speaker 1: of me that's like, oh my god, she's perfect, her
Speaker 1: life is perfect. I want to be like her. I
Speaker 1: want to look like her. I want to live where
Speaker 1: she lives, like all the things that can kind of
Speaker 1: put women like remove themselves from the potential of them
Speaker 1: having the most for themselves because you get really, you know,
Speaker 1: sort of drawn in to see seeing how glamorous or
Speaker 1: beautiful or free or whatever your life is do you
Speaker 1: find that like breaking that down and showing your vulnerability
Speaker 1: just the same as the women are with that. You're
Speaker 1: talking to.
Speaker 2: A loaded question. You know, I feel like we live
Speaker 2: in this very strange and powerful and productive world of
Speaker 2: social media and this facade and filter, right that we're
Speaker 2: all living behind. And I'm glad you asked that because
Speaker 2: one of the commitments that I've really made to my
Speaker 2: audience and in the work that I do is to
Speaker 2: be vulnerable enough to share the good, the bad, and
Speaker 2: the ugly. And it's not and it's not always easy.
Speaker 2: And it's sort of like, if I'm teaching a workshop
Speaker 2: on how to show up, well, what about the days
Speaker 2: when I don't feel like showing up? I want to
Speaker 2: share that side of me as well, right, And I
Speaker 2: want to be able to laugh and cry and be
Speaker 2: honest and succeed and surrender and all of the different
Speaker 2: elements that make me a strong woman. And you know,
Speaker 2: we're doing a bit segment on that right now at
Speaker 2: book work, Body and the Strength and the Surrender, right,
Speaker 2: and really understanding strength and weakness and where that lies.
Speaker 2: And I think so many of us are striving like
Speaker 2: to do it perfectly and to do it right, And
Speaker 2: I don't even know what that means. It's like, my
Speaker 2: life is messy and chaotic, and you know, marriage, divorce, marriage,
Speaker 2: divorce again. I mean, one would say I'm not a
Speaker 2: great picker, but yet I have these amazing children, like
Speaker 2: I'm I'm okay, look at it and go, gosh, you know,
Speaker 2: what have I learned from that? From that? And how
Speaker 2: do I evolve from that? And how do I even
Speaker 2: sit in that space of not so great and really
Speaker 2: allow myself freedom to be in that space? How do
Speaker 2: I carve out that space.
Speaker 1: And also to forgive yourself for those moments yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: weren't great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then this whole concept of like choosing you.
Speaker 2: I've been using that narrative a little bit. Also, even
Speaker 2: I love to be a yoga teacher. I love to
Speaker 2: be a student in yoga, but yoga for me is
Speaker 2: like medicine. It's not even to work. But one of
Speaker 2: the things I've been saying lately is I'm your Matt,
Speaker 2: like literally your Matt, steel space, like create space for yourself,
Speaker 2: steel space that just belongs to you for one fricking hour, yep,
Speaker 2: make an hour. And you know, women like us, we
Speaker 2: know how chaotic life is in somebody always needs something
Speaker 2: like that's our I think that's our bittersweet challenge in
Speaker 2: life is that we given the give, and we give
Speaker 2: so we're really good at it because we don't meet
Speaker 2: ourselves with that you know, that same attention. And I
Speaker 2: guess that's what I try to teach you to my
Speaker 2: own children. So now that Rain is gone, Rain's my
Speaker 2: youngest daughter. I have one more daughter, Scott's daughter at home.
Speaker 2: But I'm like, now I need to be Now, I
Speaker 2: need to be a mother to myself because exactly, I mean,
Speaker 2: I've been everybody, so now WHOA what does this look
Speaker 2: like for me?
Speaker 1: It's so true you have to like sit down with
Speaker 1: yourself and say, I'm going to start parenting myself, taking
Speaker 1: care of myself with just as much care and love
Speaker 1: as I would my own children. Yeah, that's it, because
Speaker 1: there's the thing compared to that, and.
Speaker 2: That's what you're talking about. It's like we are we
Speaker 2: walking the talk. Yeah, you how to do that? I
Speaker 2: can tell my friend how to do that. Am I
Speaker 2: really meeting myself with that same love and respect? And
Speaker 2: for me, that equates to integrity? Like am I living
Speaker 2: a life of integrity. I'm really being honest with myself.
Speaker 2: Am I'm really being vulnerable and my really being truthful?
Speaker 2: Am I really showing up for myself? And it's not easy,
Speaker 2: you know, especially I don't know how old you are.
Speaker 2: I think we're about the same age.
Speaker 1: Yeah fifty three here, yeah, same.
Speaker 2: So it's like whoa, there's just like all these things
Speaker 2: coming at us and all these changes. So how to
Speaker 2: meet ourselves out of minimum ladies with love?
Speaker 1: Like just with love right with yeah, tenderness, grace, care
Speaker 1: for yourself. For me, it was like just stopping and
Speaker 1: looking back and seeing all that I've done, all the
Speaker 1: good things that I've done, all the bad things that
Speaker 1: I've done, and like just really getting super quiet and
Speaker 1: like letting those just sit with me and appreciating them,
Speaker 1: you know, well the good in the bad. And then
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, you're pretty rad like that, look what
Speaker 1: you have survived.
Speaker 2: You know, that's amazing. We see if women could change
Speaker 2: their perception just what you said, the good and the bad,
Speaker 2: and then you have the willingness to sit in that
Speaker 2: and go God, Like I was actually just about to
Speaker 2: post something on social media and sometimes are like, oh,
Speaker 2: my kid's gonna give a shit about this. Is this
Speaker 2: like to your self like Dadley, But anyway, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: post it. I'm really going to post it a good
Speaker 2: WAT rack because I've never really lifted heavyweights before, so
Speaker 2: I'm doing squats and yeah, it's kind of sexy whatever,
Speaker 2: But the caption is like, you're you're somebody's mother, you
Speaker 2: might as well be a badass, So just show up
Speaker 2: in it and be a climate and own it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: all of it, the big, the ugly, the messy, the complicated,
Speaker 2: it just all of it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: When I look at you, I see you definitely owning it,
Speaker 1: definitely like you're in your space, and it just resonates.
Speaker 2: Thank you. I appreciate you seeing that. You never know
Speaker 2: really what that portrayal is in perception. You know, that's
Speaker 2: the other loaded side of the world that we come from, right,
Speaker 2: which is really why I started for Body. It was
Speaker 2: like nobody wanted to know about and how I raised
Speaker 2: my kids or my flak. They just wanted to know
Speaker 2: how I got into sight shape in the summer and
Speaker 2: how I got red carpet ready. And I'm like, huh,
Speaker 2: maybe I can started face out and show people exactly
Speaker 2: what I'm doing so in a silly way. That's sort
Speaker 2: of what started it. And then being able to connect
Speaker 2: with women all over the globe and being able to
Speaker 2: really show them how to get it done and how
Speaker 2: to be a time and how to create energy forget
Speaker 2: about the workout, how do we create energy and body
Speaker 2: confidence and more clarity and all of the things that
Speaker 2: I do in the mindful space, even meditation, which I
Speaker 2: know is so hard for most people. I'm more productive,
Speaker 2: I'm sure when I'm met a t.
Speaker 1: Yes, I know, and then I'm the worst. Like when
Speaker 1: you don't do it, You're like, ah, I suck at meditating.
Speaker 1: I like, there's the worst part when you don't like
Speaker 1: live up to what you hope you or think you
Speaker 1: can do the changes that you want, But you just
Speaker 1: have to get back on the horse every.
Speaker 2: Day, even if you have to manipulate yourself into doing it.
Speaker 2: I'll give you a little funny like reality story, so
Speaker 2: pure vanity here. But you know those red light therapy
Speaker 2: mass Yeah, seeing me, I'm like, so go dorky on
Speaker 2: social media posting them, but they really I really like them.
Speaker 2: I have one that does like red light and blue
Speaker 2: light and stimulation. It's really right. But anyway, it's a
Speaker 2: ten minute mass and you know you're never going to
Speaker 2: use it. You have so much stuff sent to you, right,
Speaker 2: you're never gonna get So I keep it at my
Speaker 2: event on my bedside table. Oh my god, good morning,
Speaker 2: and I put it on every one day. I wake
Speaker 2: up ten minutes earlier and then I do my ten
Speaker 2: minute meditation or my prayer. So I'm getting this done.
Speaker 2: I'm getting this done, getting but otherwise, no, you're not
Speaker 2: going to che So that's my double whammy. I get
Speaker 2: my vanity and my genius.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're not going to believe this, but I have
Speaker 1: ask beside my bed on the table, plugged in, fully charged,
Speaker 1: ready to go. Never use it.
Speaker 2: You have to use it. It's amazing.
Speaker 1: This is me, This is this is why I'm talking
Speaker 1: to you today. I'm gonna put my mask on to
Speaker 1: God to use it.
Speaker 2: That your face is gonna love it. Stimulation, it's great
Speaker 2: for collagen production, it's great for inflammation. Using it and
Speaker 2: take those ten minutes, yes, do something like productive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just yeah, Okay, I'm in. I'm in. I've got
Speaker 1: my first hack, my first tip of the day. I
Speaker 1: love it. Your social and your content is so packed
Speaker 1: full of things we can do, little changes we can
Speaker 1: make in our lives, things that we can do to
Speaker 1: you know, just further our health or our connection with ourselves,
Speaker 1: all the things. So if you don't follow Brook, please
Speaker 1: do because you're gonna love it as much as I do.
Speaker 1: And you know you said that, you know there's a
Speaker 1: lot going on. There's all these kids in your house
Speaker 1: all the time. And you also have had, you know,
Speaker 1: like me, failed marriages, divorce. But you're in a great
Speaker 1: relationship now that's been going for a while, right and
Speaker 1: you're engaged.
Speaker 2: Is that engagements?
Speaker 1: Wow, that's a long engagement. Do you are you?
Speaker 2: Do you?
Speaker 1: How do you feel about getting married again? Is that?
Speaker 1: Was there reason why it's been such a long engagement
Speaker 1: or is it just because everybody's busy all the time.
Speaker 2: It's in the lamest truth, it's because we're busy. Malabu tragedies.
Speaker 2: We built a home in Arizona that took up two
Speaker 2: years of our time. It's kind of like, and this
Speaker 2: is no excuse, but it's kind of like, when is
Speaker 2: our turn coming up? And then there's always a monumental
Speaker 2: thing happening. And then we finally had agreed on a
Speaker 2: destination like Karen Malibu and then the fires up. It's
Speaker 2: just one thing after another. And also it's beautiful and
Speaker 2: fabulous just the way that it is. So there's that.
Speaker 2: Then there's that, right and having it not being my
Speaker 2: first rodeo, you know. So yeah, it's definitely in the
Speaker 2: future and I should be what people say, put yourself first,
Speaker 2: and I preach this and I know this. We're going
Speaker 2: back to walk the talk Brook.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I am. Oh my goodness, it's hard. It's
Speaker 1: a big undertaking. And you're busy. I see you. You
Speaker 1: are in the Pent and Teller Show. They look so sweet.
Speaker 1: By the way, they just got picked up. You are
Speaker 1: the host. Now you just got picked up for a
Speaker 1: twelfth season.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're They're amazing. I have had so much fun
Speaker 2: working with them. So we finished two seasons in Vegas
Speaker 2: Live show amazing. I mean, they've been together for fifty years.
Speaker 2: They're incredible, and I'm hoping that we're going to go
Speaker 2: another season. And there's so many changes happening and type
Speaker 2: so it's possible that we might not. But those guys,
Speaker 2: I mean magic. We all need a little bit of that, right,
Speaker 2: We all need a fantasy and a little feel good
Speaker 2: and great family like co viewing show. And I learned
Speaker 2: so much from those guys, and I love being in
Speaker 2: front of a live audience. I mean, there just aren't
Speaker 2: a lot of shows like that anymore. I don't know,
Speaker 2: it's got talent, like what, there's just not TV's change.
Speaker 2: If it exchanged in our world.
Speaker 1: It is you were on Dancing with the Stars. I
Speaker 1: was on Dancing with the Stars season three or five.
Speaker 1: I can never remember Derek, right, Yes, I was Derek's
Speaker 1: first dance partner and then and then you were his
Speaker 1: dance partner. And the difference is that you won the ball,
Speaker 1: the mirrored ball. You got it? Where is it? I
Speaker 1: don't see it.
Speaker 2: It's in my bathroom actually. And it's funny because people
Speaker 2: want to take a picture with the mirror ball more
Speaker 2: than they want to take a picture with anything. It's
Speaker 2: freaking mirror ball triphy. But you know, you know, like
Speaker 2: that was one of the hardest things I've ever done
Speaker 2: in my entire life. Do you agree? Oh?
Speaker 1: Yes, something I don't want to do again.
Speaker 2: I mean terrifying, right, Do you ever wish back though
Speaker 2: and do it again? Like?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah?
Speaker 2: And the maturity and knowing what you know now because
Speaker 2: I don't know about you. But I was so terrified
Speaker 2: and he was a phenomenal teacher. I remember being I
Speaker 2: couldn't even hear the music. I don't know the steps.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: It was before social media, was it? I mean I
Speaker 2: didn't know oh right.
Speaker 1: There was no going on and saying vote for me,
Speaker 1: vote for me all the time. Oh my gosh. I
Speaker 1: do think that the going back and doing it again
Speaker 1: would be amazing, because yeah, but I don't. I can't
Speaker 1: move like that anymore, Brooke. I don't think I can
Speaker 1: do it. I've gotten a couple of operations since then,
Speaker 1: and I think on my dance in years on television,
Speaker 1: Body Hard, Body Hard, I cannot Winning must have been exhilarating.
Speaker 2: It winning was you know, it's a silly reality competition, right,
Speaker 2: but it was so much more than for me because yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, you face your fingers, you can get in
Speaker 2: your comfort zone. I like to do scary things, not
Speaker 2: in real time, because I was like, why do I
Speaker 2: do such scary things? When am I just go get
Speaker 2: a normal job. But training like an athlete, learning how
Speaker 2: to think like an athlete. I don't think I've ever
Speaker 2: spent seven days a week doing anything. It really was
Speaker 2: a testament. You realize that you could do anything, anything,
Speaker 2: anything in the world you want to do. Like I
Speaker 2: can't sing, and I probably could never sing even if
Speaker 2: I trained, But you could rebably go to stand up
Speaker 2: comedy if you had to, or the thing if you
Speaker 2: trained seven days a week for it.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, if you face that for your head on, yeah,
Speaker 1: there it's once you complete. I felt the same exact way.
Speaker 1: There's nothing I cannot do now.
Speaker 2: I agree, you push yoursel and got over.
Speaker 1: But then you went on to be a host, which
Speaker 1: was amazing. You're such a good host.
Speaker 2: It seems so long ago. Oh gosh, eight seasons and
Speaker 2: there were two shows a year then. But the show
Speaker 2: allowed me to bring a different level of compassion and
Speaker 2: connection to that skill set because I knew what it
Speaker 2: was like when nobody wanted to talk to me, or
Speaker 2: they couldn't hear me, or they were so upset, or
Speaker 2: they are adrenaline was so high. I knew how difficult
Speaker 2: it was after you've showcased your talent, whether it went
Speaker 2: really well or it was horrible. That I know what
Speaker 2: it's like to want to crawl under the rug or
Speaker 2: it just allowed me to be a much more colorful
Speaker 2: and competent host because I knew both sides of it
Speaker 2: and just so much fun. Yeah. So, such a great
Speaker 2: show to work on. What a blessing that show was.
Speaker 1: Would you do it again? Would you go back? Would
Speaker 1: you be a host again on the show?
Speaker 2: I I mean I never say no, just never closed
Speaker 2: doors professionally, but I know I was eight seasons and
Speaker 2: I did everything I needed to do in the ballroom,
Speaker 2: amazing relationships. I mean, at the time it was one
Speaker 2: of the most watched shows on television. It would be
Speaker 2: hard to go back there with the same level of
Speaker 2: excitement and appreciation. And I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think they're getting ready to do their big anniversary,
Speaker 2: aren't they. Are you going back? Oh?
Speaker 1: I got an email about that. I didn't I purposely
Speaker 1: did not read it. That's terrible they're doing in an anniversary. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's what the email said.
Speaker 2: I'm not going either, but no, I mean, a redo
Speaker 2: is hard for me. You know. I guess there's some
Speaker 2: things that aren't worth a repeat in your life. But
Speaker 2: I feel like I wrung it out and I did
Speaker 2: everything I needed to do on that show.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like love marriage, you know, like you're
Speaker 1: in it and it's great and then it's not, and
Speaker 1: then you ask yourself, do I want to do that again?
Speaker 1: And then you get in it again? Because love is
Speaker 1: love and we're all sucker for love. But I think
Speaker 1: going back and doing something that you already know how
Speaker 1: it is, how it's going to end up, what's the end?
Speaker 1: You know, there's something not as challenging about it. So
Speaker 1: that's maybe what you're not excited about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, welcome back.
Speaker 1: But you talked about it before. It's such a difficult
Speaker 1: time in our industry and in every industry these days.
Speaker 1: Talk to me, tell us, how do you choose to
Speaker 1: get back up after a loss, like even if you
Speaker 1: can relate it to losing the hosting job or any
Speaker 1: other like a marriage, or how do you get back
Speaker 1: up from these big life moments that knock us down.
Speaker 2: I mean that was a big life moment, you know,
Speaker 2: leaving that show, being fired from that show, being let
Speaker 2: go from that show, my contract not being renewed. However
Speaker 2: you want to feel better about it. I'm a realist.
Speaker 2: I'm like, it is what it is. You don't divorce
Speaker 2: somebody that you're madly in love with. You don't let
Speaker 2: a host go that you're like madly in love like.
Speaker 2: So whenever it was, it ended right, yes, And so
Speaker 2: it was sort of like going from that high from
Speaker 2: hosting the number one show on television at the time,
Speaker 2: you know, hand to hand with Idle. It was sort
Speaker 2: of like WHOA. But I will say this to you
Speaker 2: and maybe somebody listening will understand this because I'm a
Speaker 2: big believer in this and I've had to come full
Speaker 2: circle and spend some time in this space. But you
Speaker 2: have to choose your words so carefully in life, and
Speaker 2: I really believe that, like choose your words before you
Speaker 2: spit them out. We manifest so many things, We put energy,
Speaker 2: we put some conscious energy into so many things. There
Speaker 2: was a time on that show, after like seven seasons
Speaker 2: where I was like, question, this is a live show,
Speaker 2: and I really don't have much freedom and just reason
Speaker 2: after season and I mean, by the way, amazing gig
Speaker 2: live television. It's better than being in a studio like
Speaker 2: the world that you come from. For fifteen hours a.
Speaker 1: Day, we're done, and it's much more exciting.
Speaker 2: It's one of the greatest shows to host. In television,
Speaker 2: and I know that I said to myself inside myself,
Speaker 2: Oh no, what else I'm gonna do? And you know,
Speaker 2: I wasn't like I've always been grateful, but I don't
Speaker 2: think I was showing up in complete gratitude that final season.
Speaker 2: And part of me believes that maybe I was meant
Speaker 2: to move on and do something else, and when it happened,
Speaker 2: I really wanted to exit that stage literally with grace
Speaker 2: and appreciation, with great relationships which I had, And it
Speaker 2: forced me to really look at what now, which I
Speaker 2: think so many of us explore at different stages in
Speaker 2: our life, even when there isn't a pivotabal moment. And
Speaker 2: I do a lot of that work during my retreats
Speaker 2: with women, and the common denominator is what now? What
Speaker 2: nexte for women that are empty nesters, for women that
Speaker 2: have retired, for women that are redesigning their life, for
Speaker 2: women that are going through a career change. They're like
Speaker 2: with the f what now is like is this it?
Speaker 1: That's a big void for yeah.
Speaker 2: Question a big boy. And I just decided, instead of
Speaker 2: like looking for that what next, to just kind of
Speaker 2: look at everything and to really sit in that space
Speaker 2: of I have so many opportunities and possibilities, and I
Speaker 2: didn't know what was going to happen next. I didn't
Speaker 2: know if it was going to do daytime talk. Was
Speaker 2: I going to New York? What about the kids? Can
Speaker 2: I stay here? What's the next move? And then our
Speaker 2: whole industry changed, right, and people like us didn't get
Speaker 2: to go to a daytime time show. But I mean
Speaker 2: for a million reasons, right right, So I just had
Speaker 2: to take all the good with me, all the skills,
Speaker 2: all the bittersweet curses that came along with it, because
Speaker 2: there was a lot of people that didn't even think
Speaker 2: about reaching out because I just hosted the number one
Speaker 2: show on television. I wouldn't possibly go do X, Y
Speaker 2: and Z, which I might have after I gig like that.
Speaker 2: So for me, it's just a matter of just looking
Speaker 2: at Okay, I need to explore the space that I'm
Speaker 2: sitting in right now and be really open. And I
Speaker 2: think that pause and then even later the COVID pause
Speaker 2: really allowed me to build my wellness app and that
Speaker 2: has been the love of my life right now, as
Speaker 2: far as work goes, a passion project, an opportunity to
Speaker 2: do something that really matters with other women to choreograph
Speaker 2: and to work with other team trainers, and to do
Speaker 2: things that are really that I really love and I
Speaker 2: never would have had time to do that. There's no way,
Speaker 2: So I don't know. I mean, a change is necessary.
Speaker 2: So I relate that to love as well, raising a family, divorce.
Speaker 2: Sometimes change is just necessary, right, and it doesn't look
Speaker 2: like it even when it really hurts, even when it sucks, right,
Speaker 2: even when it's really freaking hard and you're like, you
Speaker 2: want to just curl up in a ball. Yeah, their
Speaker 2: covers like, but we don't get to do that.
Speaker 1: Well maybe for just like a little while while a week,
Speaker 1: maybe longer.
Speaker 2: Get joking, But I think that that's what is really
Speaker 2: defining sometimes more than a thing that tried to shape
Speaker 2: you break you, it's the strength that you really have
Speaker 2: to get through it and get to the other side
Speaker 2: of it, because the other side of it honestly could
Speaker 2: be amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah right, I mean they do say it doesn't break you,
Speaker 1: makes you stronger, So that's a better way to kind
Speaker 1: of look at things.
Speaker 2: I think this whole theory, this new concept that we're introducing,
Speaker 2: the feminine strength theory. You know, so many people are
Speaker 2: talking about menopause, right, menopause is having is big, yeah,
Speaker 2: and I'm on the other side of it. I don't
Speaker 2: know where you are. But so complicated, so subjective, so individual,
Speaker 2: so many things that we can actually do about it.
Speaker 2: I'm almost like, I'm tired of hearing about menopause perception
Speaker 2: a little bit and step into this period of strength
Speaker 2: as women, especially women our age, especially women a decade
Speaker 2: younger than us, if they can kind of better equipped
Speaker 2: and prepare themselves and forty fifty sixty plus can be
Speaker 2: an amazing sensual, provocative, strong, insightful connect like a beautiful
Speaker 2: time in our life. And the strength theory is just
Speaker 2: it's about that. It's what are we building in our
Speaker 2: life that supports us? Right? And how are we leaving ourselves?
Speaker 2: Are we speaking to ourselves carrying that's too heavy that
Speaker 2: we need to let go of. Do we have the
Speaker 2: strength to pivot, to change, to pause, to rent to you?
Speaker 1: We're in charge, Yeah, We're in charge of There's so
Speaker 1: like you said, there's so many possibilities when even when
Speaker 1: you just look at your life like that, like all
Speaker 1: the things that you want to do in your life personally,
Speaker 1: like all the things you just listed. I could be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that sounds overwhelming. I can't handle all
Speaker 1: those things, and I would just regress back into that cave,
Speaker 1: that ball that I've been rolled up into. But it's
Speaker 1: the it's taking that first step. It's that choice to
Speaker 1: say I am going to make a concerted effort to
Speaker 1: take care of myself in any way.
Speaker 2: The women too that are in it, that are kind
Speaker 2: of drowning in it. Yeah, there's something very real and
Speaker 2: important about sitting in even that pain. It's like a
Speaker 2: morning I'm sure you get a lot of enquiries about
Speaker 2: divorce and how do we do what we do and
Speaker 2: we happen to be on television. All looks great, But
Speaker 2: I can promise everybody that's listening there have been peaks
Speaker 2: and valleys and really hard days and challenges in life.
Speaker 2: And there's nothing that anybody could tell me that would
Speaker 2: surprise me, because I've done so much of this work
Speaker 2: on my own and with other women. But there's value
Speaker 2: in allowing yourself to sit in those really hard, painful
Speaker 2: moments and not feel like you're just supposed to move
Speaker 2: on to the other side of it, like being It's
Speaker 2: like it's like a morning it's like a Desicately, there
Speaker 2: are parts of us, even as women, that need to die,
Speaker 2: I think, in my opinion, so that there can be
Speaker 2: a rebirth.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like a pruning like you know, you
Speaker 1: got to cut the roses back in order for them
Speaker 1: to bloom again.
Speaker 2: It's an essence, right, Like, that's exactly what it is.
Speaker 2: On a much more scientific way. I'll give you an example.
Speaker 2: Chavas not in yoga. It's the end of a yoga class, right,
Speaker 2: So we if yoga is in your practice, you spend
Speaker 2: a whole class for two minutes. I like to make
Speaker 2: it a lot more than that. But if there's another company,
Speaker 2: you get two lousy minutes, right, illness, and it's corpse pose.
Speaker 2: You're lying down in your bat and they call its
Speaker 2: corpse does And I was always like, why is this
Speaker 2: corpse pose? What is this death pose about? At the
Speaker 2: end of the class, so I did a deep dive.
Speaker 2: As I'm studying sanscripts, I'm doing a lot of work
Speaker 2: in my yoga practice. But it's the death of a
Speaker 2: class and it's the birth of the next moment. And
Speaker 2: that's really think about that. In life, it's so beautiful,
Speaker 2: it's Schilasina. It's two minutes, you lie, there's still a
Speaker 2: corpse post. But it's not about death. It's about the
Speaker 2: beginning and the awakening of the next moment, the next day, tonight,
Speaker 2: like all of these things. And I have tried to
Speaker 2: apply many of those philosophies, those sanscript principles to life,
Speaker 2: and it's I learned so much in that practice and
Speaker 2: those moments of stillness and the things that come up
Speaker 2: going to end that really the man as a woman.
Speaker 1: Yep, it's about facing them. Oh, there's so much I
Speaker 1: want to talked about. Okay, you're a co parent with
Speaker 1: two men. I can barely handle it.
Speaker 2: With one because Scott's Levi and Lilah. No, no, I'm like in,
Speaker 2: but now I'm ask me, go ahead, ask me.
Speaker 1: How do you do it? How do you are you
Speaker 1: a co parent with more than one guy?
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Each of them is different. Oh, it's just I know
Speaker 1: you married to an actor. I know we have some
Speaker 1: similar things, but it's just it's co parentings.
Speaker 2: It's a whole episode. If you invite me back, we
Speaker 2: can totally unpack this. Let me come from a space
Speaker 2: of not being an expert and for a long time
Speaker 2: after my divorce. There was a lot of inquiry for
Speaker 2: me to really speak about that, and I'm like, how
Speaker 2: could I possibly speak about that when I'm still in
Speaker 2: it and I certainly haven't figured it out yet. So
Speaker 2: I'm going to pause on that. For everybody that thinks
Speaker 2: I've got it all figured out, I do not. One
Speaker 2: thing that I made a commitment to in my second
Speaker 2: divorce was to be an incredible ex wife and to
Speaker 2: create a space for David to be an incredible ex
Speaker 2: husband and for us to be great excess because we
Speaker 2: were really shitty has been in lives and I was like,
Speaker 2: if we can have a working divorce for our children
Speaker 2: now first time around? Not so even if I wanted that,
Speaker 2: it would not matter what I did to try to
Speaker 2: make that one happen. And it's still toxic to the stick.
Speaker 2: So I'm not coming from like Confucius over here, think
Speaker 2: I'm coming from a few decades of experience. One failed,
Speaker 2: not so much surrender acceptance there. The second one or
Speaker 2: deep commitment to have a working divorce that is built
Speaker 2: on integrity, and that is for our children and because
Speaker 2: of that, they're better for it. And Scott, so we
Speaker 2: have six children between us, which is crazy, crazy, four
Speaker 2: of them in the house right now, and believe it
Speaker 2: or not, and I'll knock out Wood because I didn't
Speaker 2: experience that the second time around. There's harmony. And I
Speaker 2: have learned that what I want and what my expectations
Speaker 2: are and my vision of what family looks like has
Speaker 2: nothing to do with their vision. And the moment that
Speaker 2: I was able to accept that, there was a lot
Speaker 2: less disappointment, a lot less friction. And as a younger mom,
Speaker 2: I always thought, Oh, this is how it's supposed to be,
Speaker 2: and everybody's going to come home and dinner's going to
Speaker 2: be ready, and we're all going to sit down. And
Speaker 2: it was a continuous disappointment. Somebody was upset, somebody was late,
Speaker 2: somebody didn't care, somebody to buy their boyfriend my stage
Speaker 2: the movie and play that I just wrote for the evening.
Speaker 2: Nobody even got a freaking script. Okay, nobody even knew
Speaker 2: what was happening in act three but me. And so
Speaker 2: if that makes sense, No.
Speaker 1: Sometimes things you have this thing in your head, but
Speaker 1: you don't communicate it to someone else in order for
Speaker 1: it to be a shared idea.
Speaker 2: And these are all real people. That are there.
Speaker 1: They have their own perspectives, their.
Speaker 2: Own problems and perspectives and wishes and desires and challenges.
Speaker 2: And I think it's the same way I'm not in marriage,
Speaker 2: Like we have to communicate to I have to give
Speaker 2: a lot of grace to the people in my family
Speaker 2: because there's a lot of us. And I'm really lucky
Speaker 2: right now in this current situation and this rude that
Speaker 2: we're raising. That there's harmony, but at a minimum, we
Speaker 2: need each other with space and respect. And I don't
Speaker 2: think the younger me was able to do that. I
Speaker 2: also don't think the younger me was able to carve
Speaker 2: out time to be able to be like, whoa, I
Speaker 2: think I'm gonna go out to dinner with my girlfriends tonight.
Speaker 2: You guys, yeah, I'll see you later and I'll see
Speaker 2: you in the morning. Like I didn't know as a woman,
Speaker 2: as a younger woman, how to step back, not bail,
Speaker 2: but to be able to go. I'm going to go
Speaker 2: find joy simultaneously over here. I'm not leaving here, but
Speaker 2: I'm going to do things that are joyful so I
Speaker 2: can fill my cup. Right, I know how to do
Speaker 2: that now, as.
Speaker 1: You do right, my joy Oh, that's such a good feeling.
Speaker 2: And it's like, you know, just scratching the surface. But
Speaker 2: co parenting really really hard. I think there has to
Speaker 2: be boundaries, there has to be a lot of communication,
Speaker 2: and everybody has to know their role. And I believe
Speaker 2: that also masculine feminine partnerships marriage. You know, I'm a
Speaker 2: really strong, independent woman can be misinterpreted sometimes. Yeah, work
Speaker 2: on that. I have to work to bring my feminine
Speaker 2: energy to most situations because I can be very I
Speaker 2: can drop into my masculine energy super fast. But I
Speaker 2: have to be roles that are played, and those roles,
Speaker 2: roles are changeable. That would be who we need to
Speaker 2: be and show up in that space and get what
Speaker 2: we need. It's we should do another episode about this.
Speaker 1: There's so much to unpack about those roles and about
Speaker 1: like the freedom to choose what you want your role
Speaker 1: to be. And yeah, there's a lot. Oh my gosh, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do another episode with you in a
Speaker 1: couple of days and we're going to get into some
Speaker 1: of your amazing life hacks and all the things that
Speaker 1: you know and I cannot wait. But before we leave today,
Speaker 1: I want to ask you the question I always ask
Speaker 1: everyone before we go Brooke broke, what was your last
Speaker 1: I choose me moment?
Speaker 2: Well, honestly, it was this morning. Because I've made myself
Speaker 2: a priority at the stage in my life, so I
Speaker 2: try not to let a day go by where I
Speaker 2: don't have a moment that's for me. But this morning,
Speaker 2: and I woke up ten minutes earlier. We giggled about
Speaker 2: it earlier. I forget about the mask, but I spent
Speaker 2: those ten minutes to just visualize my day and to
Speaker 2: really walk through my day. And I ask myself a
Speaker 2: couple of questions every day, what could make today great?
Speaker 2: What are my goals today? And do I promise to
Speaker 2: myself that I'm going to achieve those goals so that
Speaker 2: I'm already sort of set up in yeah, in my
Speaker 2: vision for the day. And if I didn't wake up
Speaker 2: and steal those ten moments and choose me, because there's
Speaker 2: a lot of things I could have done. I could
Speaker 2: have went got up and helped try to get breakfast right,
Speaker 2: I could have started the coffee a little bit, and
Speaker 2: there's a lot of things I could have done. I
Speaker 2: made myself either for ten minutes to choose me, just
Speaker 2: ten minutes the day, in the day, just ten minutes
Speaker 2: in the day that like I'm worthy of so and
Speaker 2: then I went for a walk this morning too, which
Speaker 2: was really nice. I don't always I don't always get
Speaker 2: to do that.
Speaker 1: No, these are very easy things that I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people can say, Hey, I can do that too.
Speaker 2: We can take ten minutes and it doesn't have to
Speaker 2: be a big thing. It's ten minutes that I know
Speaker 2: are just for me, for me to do whatever I need,
Speaker 2: and it's the tone for my day. So I do
Speaker 2: that in the morning.
Speaker 1: Good advice. Thank you so much, Brooke, and we will
Speaker 1: be back with some bonus material, so keep an eye
Speaker 1: out for it.
Speaker 2: Thank you. Jim