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Speaker 1: Pushkin right there.

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Speaker 2: I knew I heard the loud.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Simon.

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Speaker 3: Hi, Hi.

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Speaker 1: When you picked up the phone, I heard voices in

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Speaker 1: the background. What was that?

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Speaker 4: I like just playing videos in the background and listening

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Speaker 4: to them.

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Speaker 1: Oh, just for the company. Yeah, so you just kind

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Speaker 1: of listen to them in the background. Like, Simon is

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Speaker 1: ten years old, and like most kids, his school is

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Speaker 1: closed indefinitely, but his parents have jobs they still need

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Speaker 1: to leave the house for. So Simon's home all alone

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Speaker 1: all day except for lunchtime when his dad stops by

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Speaker 1: to eat with him. What kind of lunch do you

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Speaker 1: usually have.

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Speaker 4: I've been having a lot of hot pockets.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, are they really hot inside?

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Speaker 4: Sometimes you gotta let him cool down. One time I

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Speaker 4: had one too hot and they burned the back of

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Speaker 4: my taste buds for like the rest of the day.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

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Speaker 4: You just can't tell when they're hot or not from

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Speaker 4: the outside because they don't steam up or anything. So

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Speaker 4: when you take your first bites, like, am I gonna

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Speaker 4: just swallow it or spit it out?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? You got to be patient. Yeah, so your dad

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Speaker 1: comes home, so you guys are able to have lunch together. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: do you look forward to that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I get really lonely.

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Speaker 1: Oh you do, huh.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't realize that I would get this lonely,

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Speaker 4: and only a few days.

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Speaker 1: Were the first couple of days less lonely.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they because it was just the first time ever

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Speaker 4: being home alone for a full day by myself. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: but then I just got used to it, and then

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Speaker 4: it wasn't so exciting, and then I realized how it

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Speaker 4: was pretty lonely.

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Speaker 1: So what do you do when you get lonely?

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Speaker 4: Well, usually I take my mind off it by doing

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Speaker 4: more homework or watching videos.

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Speaker 1: Do you have advice for other people who are by

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Speaker 1: themselves right now and who maybe aren't used to it.

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Speaker 4: It makes you feel a lot better if you just

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Speaker 4: open up a blind or something like in my living room,

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Speaker 4: we have a big window, okay, and then there's a

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Speaker 4: blind on it. I usually if I get scared, I

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Speaker 4: just open that up and look outside, and then I

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Speaker 4: know that, you know, nothing else is happening, so I'm

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Speaker 4: fine and I can see outside, and it just makes

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Speaker 4: you feel better.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good sometimes to just remember that there's an

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Speaker 1: outside out there.

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Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, it's not just you inside, and that's completely it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you have lunch, your dad heads back to work,

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Speaker 1: and then what then I do the not the.

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Speaker 4: Homework on paper, but just like where I have to

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Speaker 4: practice my recorder and do some read and all that stuff.

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Speaker 1: Oh you play the recorder?

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, that's our music.

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Speaker 1: Do you have your recorder with you right now?

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Speaker 4: Yes? I actually do. It's just on the automan.

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Speaker 1: Would you would you be able to favor me with

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Speaker 1: a little a little bit of what you've been practicing.

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Speaker 4: Okay, I'll try, might mess up.

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Speaker 1: You're just practicing we've been.

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Speaker 4: Trying to do when the same spot marching in.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, let's hear it. Okay, here we go, Simon. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was excellent. And you know what was really really

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Speaker 1: great about it was your sense of timing. It's it

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Speaker 1: sounds tight, is what I'm saying. Your hip to my

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Speaker 1: jazz lingo.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, I've probably kept you from your from

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Speaker 1: your studies long enough.

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Speaker 4: Right, I mean, I really don't care because I would

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Speaker 4: rather not do it.

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Speaker 1: But well, I don't want to get in trouble with

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Speaker 1: your parents, so I'm going to let you. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to let you get back to your routine. It's been

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Speaker 1: really nice getting to talk to you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you for letting me talk to you too.

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Speaker 1: Okay, take care Simon you too. Fe Hello, Stevie Lane.

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Speaker 5: This is g.

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Speaker 1: I have khalilt khalilt. Hey, I see you've got your

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Speaker 1: showbiz a voice on Khalila.

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Speaker 6: I think this is just my normal voice.

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Speaker 1: You just had a You just had a birthday this week.

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Speaker 6: I did just have a birthday. My birthday was very good.

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Speaker 6: I had a Zoom party. Our own Stevie was in attendance.

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Speaker 6: It was very fun, and I tweeted a thing about like, oh,

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Speaker 6: it would be nice if people sent me like photos

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Speaker 6: or stories of like small nice things. Get it to

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Speaker 6: my birthday. People sent me such amazing stuff.

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Speaker 1: Can you can you share some of the little moments

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Speaker 1: that you received?

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Speaker 6: So I got a lot of pick of people's pets.

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Speaker 6: Here's one that says, my small nice thing soup and

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Speaker 6: sandwich and soup and sand which are two cats that

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Speaker 6: are like cuddling together on the bed. Here's one that

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Speaker 6: says I was at the pharmacy and a sweet old

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Speaker 6: man in front of me announced to all the pharmacists,

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Speaker 6: I'm so in love with each and every one of you,

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Speaker 6: and there's nothing you can do about it. Someone sent

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Speaker 6: a video of a birthday party they threw for their

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Speaker 6: dog and they're like presenting him with a dog charcouterie

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Speaker 6: board and the dog's really excited.

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Speaker 1: This had to be a Brooklyn dog. No, probably. And Stevie,

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Speaker 1: how have you been? What have you been up to?

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Speaker 5: Last night, we were kind of flipping through the channels

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Speaker 5: and Panic Room was on. Have you guys seen Panic.

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Speaker 6: Room a long time ago?

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Speaker 1: Is that with Jody Foster?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, it's about home invasion and Jodi Foster and Christian Stewart,

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Speaker 5: her daughter, locked themselves in the Panic Room and they

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Speaker 5: like go out because the bad guys are out there,

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Speaker 5: and like there's this one moment where Jodie Foster realizes

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Speaker 5: she left her cell phone just outside the panic room,

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Speaker 5: and so she like opens the door the Panic room,

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Speaker 5: darts out, grabs her cell phone, and like runs back

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Speaker 5: in and closed the door. And I was like, I

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Speaker 5: feel like that's like our trips to the grocery store.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 5: It's like, yeah, oh, this is such a weird parallel.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I do feel like there are all these small signs

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Speaker 5: of nature re asserting itself. Just I feel like I've

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Speaker 5: been seeing so many birds, like so many blue jays

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Speaker 5: and red card too.

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Speaker 6: Actually I identified a bird call this morning. I was like,

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Speaker 6: you know, I hear that bird all the time, and

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna find out what kind of burd it is?

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Speaker 5: What does it sound like?

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Speaker 6: I'm sure you guys have heard it. It's that one

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Speaker 6: that's like, dude.

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Speaker 1: Dude, do do do do?

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Speaker 7: Do?

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Speaker 2: Do?

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Speaker 6: Do you know that word?

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Speaker 5: Yes?

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Speaker 1: I do know that part.

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Speaker 6: I hear that bird all the time. And I was

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Speaker 6: finally like, what is it?

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Speaker 1: And so how did you do that? Is there a

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Speaker 1: hizam for bird call?

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Speaker 6: I googled like a descending note bird trill and I

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Speaker 6: had to click around some but I found it. It's

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Speaker 6: a white throated sparrow.

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Speaker 1: Obviously, Like, this isn't affecting everybody the same way, but

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Speaker 1: do you feel like there's comfort in the idea that

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Speaker 1: everybody's going through it and everybody's in it together.

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Speaker 6: I think there is comfort in like sort of that

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Speaker 6: feeling of like community, and like it's funny just how

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Speaker 6: many people I've talked to you that are experiencing the

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Speaker 6: same things, and like one of them is that everyone

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Speaker 6: seems to be having really weird, vivid dreams yeah, And

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Speaker 6: I don't totally know why that is, if it's like

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Speaker 6: a stress response or like where it's coming from that

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Speaker 6: it's happening to so many people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And are you guys dreaming about this moment, like

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Speaker 1: about the virus specifically?

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Speaker 6: Sometimes a little bit. Yeah, But what was actually nice

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Speaker 6: was last night I had a stress dream about trying

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Speaker 6: to catch an Amtrak train and like not being able

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Speaker 6: to get to the right track, and like I woke

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Speaker 6: up and I was like, oh, like nostalgic for the

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Speaker 6: days that I was trying to catch trains.

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Speaker 1: Stevie, are you what are your dreams?

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Speaker 5: Like, I've just been having this thing where every single

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Speaker 5: moment of waking up has been like awaking from a dream,

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Speaker 5: and I've been enjoying them. Like none of them have

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Speaker 5: been bad. They've all been sort of like that kind

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Speaker 5: of like wonderful dream where you're.

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Speaker 7: Just like.

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Speaker 5: Enjoying being somewhere else or like in some strain world

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Speaker 5: in your head.

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Speaker 6: That's nice.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that is nice. It seems that right now there

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Speaker 1: are a lot of people who are feeling lonely and

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Speaker 1: lonely in a particular kind of way where they're just

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Speaker 1: yearning to reach out to people that they have lost

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Speaker 1: contact with in ways that they feel remiss about. They

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Speaker 1: don't understand why they drifted, and they just want to

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Speaker 1: get back in touch. So at the end of our

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Speaker 1: last check in, we put a call out to people

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Speaker 1: who wanted a little help. So people reached out to us,

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Speaker 1: and a lot of a lot of the emails that

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Speaker 1: people sent and voice messages were very touching and compelling,

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Speaker 1: so I talked to a few of them. Hey, Jonathan, So,

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Speaker 1: Caesar lives in downtown Los Angeles, and like all of us,

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Speaker 1: he's cooped up at home in his apartment, and lately

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Speaker 1: he finds himself thinking a lot about an old best

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Speaker 1: friend of his, a friend from college named Army.

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Speaker 8: We hung out basically every day. We hung out in

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Speaker 8: her dorm all the time between classes, and we graduated,

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Speaker 8: and she actually helped me get on my feet despite

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Speaker 8: not having much space. She allowed me to stay in

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Speaker 8: her living room on her couch for no money. She said,

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Speaker 8: you know what, just save up towards a deposit, save

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Speaker 8: up towards getting your own furniture, so don't worry about

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Speaker 8: paying me rent. She would go to work and she

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Speaker 8: would sneak. She worked at Mimi's Cafe, which is like

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Speaker 8: a chain restaurant. Okay, she would bring me back like

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Speaker 8: my favorite muffins from there, and I don't know. She

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Speaker 8: was a very encouraging and helpful friend, and I don't

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Speaker 8: feel like I even met her halfway.

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Speaker 1: So Armie was dealing with a lot at the time.

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Speaker 1: She was an undocumented immigrant from Mexico trying to start

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Speaker 1: a life in the US, and then she started dating

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Speaker 1: a much older man named Mark.

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Speaker 8: She was constantly arguing with him because she felt like

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Speaker 8: it would be beneficial to her if he would marry

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Speaker 8: her so she could get her citizenship squared away and

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Speaker 8: get a job and really get her career going, but

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Speaker 8: he was afraid to do it.

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Speaker 1: Caesar says Army would obsess over her relationship with Mark,

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Speaker 1: just replaying the same conversations they had over and over.

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Speaker 1: Now Caesar's able to see how the relationship with Mark

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Speaker 1: was tied to army sense of security, but at the

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Speaker 1: time he just found it exhausting and so he began

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Speaker 1: to slowly pull away. I, unfortunately, was more of a

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Speaker 1: fair weather friend at the time. I guess what was

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Speaker 1: also going on at the time was that Caesar was

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Speaker 1: coming to terms with the fact that he was gay.

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Speaker 1: He wasn't ready to come out yet, but Army and

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Speaker 1: her boyfriend Mark, we're pressuring him.

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Speaker 8: Her boyfriend was the one that was always like poking

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Speaker 8: fun at me, and he would always be like, oh,

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Speaker 8: just come out and say it already.

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Speaker 2: So I felt like I.

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Speaker 8: Couldn't because honestly, I didn't want to prove them right.

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Speaker 8: I didn't want to be like, Okay, fine.

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Speaker 2: You're right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So the breaking point came in the form of

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Speaker 1: a missed dinner date. Army had booked the reservation months

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Speaker 1: in advance, but Caesar completely forgot all about it, and

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Speaker 1: instead he went to Disneyland, and Army called him from

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Speaker 1: the restaurant while he was online at Space Mountain.

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Speaker 8: She got really, really, really upset, and I thought, Okay,

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Speaker 8: I just need to apologize. I'll reach out to her

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Speaker 8: later because I feel like she needs maybe a minute

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Speaker 8: to cool off. And that minute turned into I don't know,

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Speaker 8: I think it's been like five six years now. I

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Speaker 8: think about her all the time, and I feel I

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Speaker 8: just feel ashamed, and but I just don't know how

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Speaker 8: to how to approach it.

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Speaker 1: So what do you want to do? Do you want

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Speaker 1: to you want to you want to try to reach out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do.

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Speaker 8: I've been I've been contemplating doing it for years.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to just try cold calling.

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Speaker 2: Right now?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:32,210
Speaker 2: Yeah?

256
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Speaker 1: Let me see you still have her phone number?

257
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Speaker 8: So I do, but I don't know if it's still

258
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Speaker 8: her phone number. Let me send her a text. I'm saying, hello,

259
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Speaker 8: is this still Army's number?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? So yeah, we just we just wait and finally

261
00:14:53,970 --> 00:14:58,890
Speaker 1: he gets a text back and it says, what's up. Sorry,

262
00:14:59,250 --> 00:15:01,610
Speaker 1: my nine month old keeps me away from the phone,

263
00:15:02,330 --> 00:15:04,570
Speaker 1: and yeah, so Caesar writes back to her, Wow, you

264
00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:07,330
Speaker 1: have a baby. That's so nice to hear. He explains that,

265
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Speaker 1: you know, he lets her know that he's talking to me,

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Speaker 1: and he asks if we can give her a call,

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Speaker 1: and the text is marked red. But he doesn't hear

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Speaker 1: anything back from Army. So we just continue to wait

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Speaker 1: and still nothing, and so finally we just figure, you know,

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Speaker 1: that it couldn't hurt if we just try giving her

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Speaker 1: a call.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Hey Army. Yes, Hey, what's up. It's nice to

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Speaker 2: hear your voice. It's been way too long.

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Speaker 9: No, but I'm not promising anything because it's Conor's nap time.

275
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Speaker 9: So he might get a little loud.

276
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Speaker 2: He's a little crazy, So okay, well let me jump

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Speaker 2: into it. Then.

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Speaker 8: I've been thinking a lot about you throughout the years,

279
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Speaker 8: but especially more recently, and I wanted to reach out

280
00:16:13,210 --> 00:16:19,690
Speaker 8: again and apologize for being a crappy friend, for not

281
00:16:19,810 --> 00:16:23,850
Speaker 8: knowing how to listen to you when you were struggling

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Speaker 8: with figuring out what to do with your life, with

283
00:16:26,210 --> 00:16:30,130
Speaker 8: your legal statage, with your relationship, forgetting about our freaking

284
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Speaker 8: dinner reservations at bestie. I left you hanging, and I

285
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Speaker 8: when I was embarrassed.

286
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Speaker 9: You see, And when you did that, it was like

287
00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:42,090
Speaker 9: to me, like you always had so so many friends,

288
00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:47,090
Speaker 9: ca sir, I did not until this day, I still don't.

289
00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:50,730
Speaker 9: So when you left me was it was? It was bad?

290
00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:57,850
Speaker 2: So I just turned away and I have always felt

291
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,610
Speaker 2: bad about it.

292
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Speaker 8: I was feeling really awkward about coming out to you.

293
00:17:04,210 --> 00:17:07,689
Speaker 7: And why were you feeling about coming out to me?

294
00:17:07,730 --> 00:17:09,490
Speaker 2: It's not like I was home, like.

295
00:17:09,730 --> 00:17:15,050
Speaker 9: I was like totally open and like.

296
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Speaker 7: Like I you know, I wasn't going to reject you

297
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Speaker 7: for that.

298
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Speaker 2: Remember what you told me? You said, I will.

299
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Speaker 9: Never forget like I told you, Like we're gonna laugh

300
00:17:21,369 --> 00:17:24,009
Speaker 9: about this like when we're old, you know, and I

301
00:17:24,050 --> 00:17:25,770
Speaker 9: told you that I will always be there for you.

302
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Speaker 2: That's how I remember it.

303
00:17:27,730 --> 00:17:33,449
Speaker 8: And I know it sounds really.

304
00:17:31,730 --> 00:17:35,290
Speaker 2: Shitty, but I was really I was really afraid to

305
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Speaker 2: face Mark.

306
00:17:37,369 --> 00:17:40,090
Speaker 9: And he always says the most inappropriate things, but that's Mark,

307
00:17:40,169 --> 00:17:41,489
Speaker 9: you know, his sense of humor.

308
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Speaker 7: So to us, it was just like, just do it,

309
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Speaker 7: come out of the closet, you know.

310
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Speaker 9: And I think we were not sensitive to that.

311
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Speaker 7: Yeah, we're still together and we have a we got married,

312
00:17:51,369 --> 00:17:55,090
Speaker 7: we have a baby together, So you did, Yeah we did.

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00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:57,249
Speaker 2: Oh wow, congratulations.

314
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Speaker 7: We're actually pretty happy. We don't find like cats and

315
00:18:00,530 --> 00:18:03,330
Speaker 7: dogs anymore. We're pretty happy now, so oh good.

316
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Speaker 8: I'll be right behind you. I got married in September.

317
00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:11,649
Speaker 8: I got married to a man, surprise, surprise. His name

318
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Speaker 8: is Henry. And we've been working to make a baby too.

319
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Speaker 8: So right now we're in the process of being matched

320
00:18:18,689 --> 00:18:22,609
Speaker 8: with a surrogate. But yeah, everything's on hold because of

321
00:18:24,050 --> 00:18:33,009
Speaker 8: the pandemic. Well, honestly, what I wanted to do was

322
00:18:33,169 --> 00:18:41,289
Speaker 8: just connect and apologize. And I know it's sort of

323
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Speaker 8: a crummy time with COVID nineteen and everything that's going

324
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Speaker 8: on and social distancing but you know, I'm hoping maybe

325
00:18:50,649 --> 00:18:53,689
Speaker 8: in the near future we could see each other again,

326
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Speaker 8: that can meet your baby and you can be my husband.

327
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Speaker 2: And yeah, I love interesting.

328
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Speaker 7: Yeah, maybe when all this thing clears out, that'll be

329
00:19:06,889 --> 00:19:10,810
Speaker 7: an interesting, interesting thing to try.

330
00:19:11,169 --> 00:19:12,449
Speaker 2: I'm not going to say it's not going.

331
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Speaker 7: To be awkward, but yeah, you'll be had be something.

332
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Speaker 2: Okay, thanks again for hearing me out a yeah, well,

333
00:19:20,770 --> 00:19:32,009
Speaker 2: you take care and I'll talk too soon. Okay, bye bye.

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Speaker 1: Do you think you're gonna do you? I mean, do

335
00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:39,050
Speaker 1: you do you think you will reach out to her again?

336
00:19:39,649 --> 00:19:39,850
Speaker 2: Oh?

337
00:19:40,090 --> 00:19:42,889
Speaker 8: I will, definitely will. I want to see what a

338
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,570
Speaker 8: kid looks like and I want to.

339
00:19:46,169 --> 00:19:47,009
Speaker 2: Yeah.

340
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Speaker 8: I feel like she made it clear to me that

341
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Speaker 8: maybe I'm gonna have to be the one to make

342
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Speaker 8: more of an effort.

343
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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm okay with that.

344
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Speaker 5: It is funny that people are thinking about reaching out

345
00:20:08,649 --> 00:20:13,929
Speaker 5: to people and reconnecting at this time when like there's

346
00:20:14,490 --> 00:20:17,929
Speaker 5: no chance of actually like doing that in a real

347
00:20:17,970 --> 00:20:21,530
Speaker 5: way for the foreseeable future. You know, like I feel

348
00:20:21,609 --> 00:20:24,010
Speaker 5: like there's some safety in that almost Yeah.

349
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And also like it just I don't know. One

350
00:20:27,409 --> 00:20:29,810
Speaker 1: of the things that I felt in listening to the

351
00:20:29,850 --> 00:20:32,170
Speaker 1: two of them talk is that there's a certain kind

352
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Speaker 1: of permission that these times grant, but then there's there

353
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Speaker 1: are certain things that it just cannot do.

354
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Speaker 5: You know, like she's not just going to forgive him

355
00:20:43,929 --> 00:20:47,450
Speaker 5: because we're under quarantine.

356
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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, it just seems like Caesar is going to

357
00:20:51,490 --> 00:21:11,209
Speaker 1: have work to do. So there's one more call that

358
00:21:11,330 --> 00:21:14,530
Speaker 1: I made to somebody that I'd wanted to reach out

359
00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:19,330
Speaker 1: to and had been meaning to, someone that I'm fond

360
00:21:19,330 --> 00:21:25,370
Speaker 1: of and whose work I admire. He's an author, podcast host.

361
00:21:25,490 --> 00:21:30,129
Speaker 6: Even better, V blogger, vlogger, blogger, blogger with a V.

362
00:21:30,290 --> 00:21:32,290
Speaker 6: Is that a word in the twenty first century?

363
00:21:32,330 --> 00:21:33,050
Speaker 8: It sure is?

364
00:21:33,169 --> 00:21:35,289
Speaker 1: All right, what a glorious time we live in.

365
00:21:39,609 --> 00:21:44,330
Speaker 3: Hello John Green, Hi, how are you good?

366
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Speaker 1: I assume I'm catching you at home?

367
00:21:48,169 --> 00:21:55,530
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, we're in the library in my house and

368
00:21:55,570 --> 00:21:57,969
Speaker 3: we set up a microphone, and so.

369
00:21:58,810 --> 00:22:02,609
Speaker 1: I am talking to you from a closet in my basement.

370
00:22:05,169 --> 00:22:08,490
Speaker 1: The only desk that would fit into the closet isn't

371
00:22:08,490 --> 00:22:11,850
Speaker 1: a desk, a piano bench, And the only chair that

372
00:22:11,889 --> 00:22:14,649
Speaker 1: would fit under the piano bench is my three year

373
00:22:14,730 --> 00:22:20,570
Speaker 1: old's child sized chair. And like to pile the indignities on,

374
00:22:20,810 --> 00:22:23,449
Speaker 1: like I actually had to barter with him to get

375
00:22:23,490 --> 00:22:25,729
Speaker 1: it from him, you know, Like he was like, but

376
00:22:25,810 --> 00:22:28,209
Speaker 1: that's my chair, and I was like, I know, but

377
00:22:28,850 --> 00:22:35,490
Speaker 1: Papa has to go downstairs and earn his keep. How

378
00:22:35,570 --> 00:22:36,690
Speaker 1: are you faring.

379
00:22:38,129 --> 00:22:42,449
Speaker 3: Up and down? It has been really hard for me

380
00:22:42,570 --> 00:22:48,210
Speaker 3: at times, just because I know myself to be alarmist.

381
00:22:48,330 --> 00:22:50,850
Speaker 3: I know myself to be anxious, I know myself to

382
00:22:50,889 --> 00:22:54,369
Speaker 3: be a catastrophizer. But you can usually look to the

383
00:22:54,490 --> 00:22:57,050
Speaker 3: people in your life who don't look at the world

384
00:22:57,129 --> 00:23:00,209
Speaker 3: the way you do, and you can take their temperature

385
00:23:00,209 --> 00:23:04,090
Speaker 3: and be like, Okay, well that must be the real reality. Yeah,

386
00:23:04,129 --> 00:23:08,369
Speaker 3: And now I look at those people and they are

387
00:23:08,409 --> 00:23:12,049
Speaker 3: not community getting to me that everything is okay, like,

388
00:23:12,449 --> 00:23:16,090
Speaker 3: you know, like they are freaked out.

389
00:23:16,290 --> 00:23:16,490
Speaker 4: Yeah.

390
00:23:16,850 --> 00:23:19,850
Speaker 3: Like my brother is the sanest person I know and

391
00:23:20,530 --> 00:23:25,409
Speaker 3: always sees the good side of things, like never acts

392
00:23:25,409 --> 00:23:29,129
Speaker 3: as if he's under stress even when he is. And

393
00:23:29,929 --> 00:23:33,729
Speaker 3: he hung up on me yesterday like for the first

394
00:23:33,730 --> 00:23:36,570
Speaker 3: time in fifteen years, And then I called him back

395
00:23:37,090 --> 00:23:39,010
Speaker 3: and he was like, sorry, I'm under a lot of stress.

396
00:23:39,209 --> 00:23:45,609
Speaker 3: And I was like what you huh?

397
00:23:45,929 --> 00:23:49,570
Speaker 1: Are are there things that have been bringing you comfort lately?

398
00:23:50,570 --> 00:23:52,810
Speaker 3: I drink one diet Doctor Pepper per day.

399
00:23:53,209 --> 00:23:55,369
Speaker 1: Ah. Yeah, I have one.

400
00:23:55,369 --> 00:23:59,490
Speaker 3: Hundred diet Doctor Pepper's and I'm kind of counting down,

401
00:24:00,169 --> 00:24:02,169
Speaker 3: assuming that this will be over by the time I

402
00:24:02,209 --> 00:24:04,369
Speaker 3: get to the last diet Doctor Pepper, or at least

403
00:24:04,369 --> 00:24:08,530
Speaker 3: that it will be better. Yeah, and oh my god,

404
00:24:08,609 --> 00:24:11,729
Speaker 3: that one Doctor Pepper a day tastes so flipping good.

405
00:24:12,889 --> 00:24:16,289
Speaker 1: Last night, I had a can of Poke zero that

406
00:24:16,369 --> 00:24:19,769
Speaker 1: I took out for a walk with me, and that

407
00:24:19,889 --> 00:24:20,689
Speaker 1: was really nice.

408
00:24:20,970 --> 00:24:24,209
Speaker 3: Yeah. A couple of days ago, a neighbor rolled me

409
00:24:24,250 --> 00:24:26,850
Speaker 3: a beer. I was walking by and he said, do

410
00:24:26,889 --> 00:24:28,169
Speaker 3: you want a beer? And I said sure, and he

411
00:24:28,290 --> 00:24:30,490
Speaker 3: rolled the beer to me and then it was at

412
00:24:30,490 --> 00:24:31,929
Speaker 3: my feet and I was like, I guess I have

413
00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:34,369
Speaker 3: to pick this up, even though there's no way I'm

414
00:24:34,449 --> 00:24:37,050
Speaker 3: drinking this until I like wipe it down with sixteen

415
00:24:37,090 --> 00:24:40,330
Speaker 3: different colorox wipes and like wash my hands up to

416
00:24:40,369 --> 00:24:42,290
Speaker 3: my elbows. But I kind of like raised the beer

417
00:24:42,290 --> 00:24:43,889
Speaker 3: to him and I was like thanks, and then I

418
00:24:43,929 --> 00:24:47,329
Speaker 3: put it in my jacket pocket and I did drink it.

419
00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:52,689
Speaker 3: I really, I really believe that this. You know, we

420
00:24:52,770 --> 00:24:55,169
Speaker 3: will get through this, but the way we get through this,

421
00:24:55,290 --> 00:24:57,369
Speaker 3: like there's this Robert Frost quote I think about all

422
00:24:57,369 --> 00:25:00,409
Speaker 3: the time. The only way out is through, and I

423
00:25:00,449 --> 00:25:03,369
Speaker 3: really believe that we are going to get through this.

424
00:25:03,530 --> 00:25:07,129
Speaker 3: But the only way out is through, and we're going

425
00:25:07,209 --> 00:25:08,049
Speaker 3: to get through it together.

426
00:25:09,409 --> 00:25:16,330
Speaker 1: I think that's really nice. Yeah, it seems as though

427
00:25:16,369 --> 00:25:21,730
Speaker 1: like right now people are thinking about people that they've

428
00:25:21,730 --> 00:25:24,609
Speaker 1: lost touch with for whatever reasons and want to reach out.

429
00:25:25,929 --> 00:25:31,369
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I've been experiencing it so deeply. Oh really, Yeah,

430
00:25:31,490 --> 00:25:36,890
Speaker 3: because I was my best friend from high school. We

431
00:25:36,970 --> 00:25:41,650
Speaker 3: loved each other so much and we said I love

432
00:25:41,730 --> 00:25:48,569
Speaker 3: you all the time, and Todd's love for me like

433
00:25:48,649 --> 00:25:51,249
Speaker 3: held me together in those years. But what I've been

434
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,729
Speaker 3: thinking about lately is how much it still holds me

435
00:25:53,810 --> 00:25:56,529
Speaker 3: together even though I haven't talked to him and I

436
00:25:56,530 --> 00:26:01,289
Speaker 3: don't know seven or eight years, because the gifts that

437
00:26:01,330 --> 00:26:04,970
Speaker 3: he gave me, the confidence that he gave me, are

438
00:26:05,050 --> 00:26:08,209
Speaker 3: still with me. Because I was when I was in

439
00:26:08,290 --> 00:26:11,730
Speaker 3: high school is such an awkward kid, Like I sort

440
00:26:11,730 --> 00:26:16,290
Speaker 3: of had to learn by memorization what social cues were.

441
00:26:16,490 --> 00:26:18,090
Speaker 3: And I remember like Todd and I would go to

442
00:26:18,209 --> 00:26:20,609
Speaker 3: a party and then we'd be driving home from the

443
00:26:20,649 --> 00:26:23,209
Speaker 3: party and he would be like, yeah, so listen. That

444
00:26:23,290 --> 00:26:25,929
Speaker 3: was good. That was probably better than last time. A

445
00:26:25,929 --> 00:26:30,050
Speaker 3: couple notes you stand really close to people when you

446
00:26:30,090 --> 00:26:32,330
Speaker 3: talk to them, and then they take a half a

447
00:26:32,330 --> 00:26:34,969
Speaker 3: step back, and then you take a half a step forward,

448
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:37,369
Speaker 3: and then eventually they're up against a wall and you're

449
00:26:37,449 --> 00:26:39,530
Speaker 3: kind of still coming. And that feels a little aggressive

450
00:26:39,570 --> 00:26:42,289
Speaker 3: to people. So when you notice if somebody is like

451
00:26:42,369 --> 00:26:45,130
Speaker 3: up against the wall, that means that you've cornered them

452
00:26:45,129 --> 00:26:47,450
Speaker 3: and you should you should take a step back. Wow,

453
00:26:47,770 --> 00:26:51,129
Speaker 3: and so all that stuff like that. I still use. No,

454
00:26:51,290 --> 00:26:54,129
Speaker 3: he's good, Oh he was good. Yeah, So I've been

455
00:26:54,129 --> 00:26:54,930
Speaker 3: thinking about him a lot.

456
00:26:55,369 --> 00:27:01,490
Speaker 1: Yeah. And have you guys just just drifted no particular reason.

457
00:27:01,850 --> 00:27:04,810
Speaker 3: No reason, Yeah, no I don't. I don't think so.

458
00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:09,010
Speaker 3: But the distance almost becomes like a vicious cycle, because

459
00:27:09,609 --> 00:27:14,450
Speaker 3: the longer I go without talking to someone, the more

460
00:27:14,490 --> 00:27:16,570
Speaker 3: it feels like it will break my heart to talk

461
00:27:16,609 --> 00:27:21,010
Speaker 3: to them, and the more guilty I feel for not

462
00:27:21,330 --> 00:27:23,090
Speaker 3: having talk to them.

463
00:27:23,570 --> 00:27:29,170
Speaker 1: Yeah, this guy, his name is Todd. Yeah, you don't

464
00:27:29,169 --> 00:27:30,409
Speaker 1: feel like calling Todd, do you?

465
00:27:31,770 --> 00:27:33,409
Speaker 3: I don't know that I know how to call Todd.

466
00:27:33,689 --> 00:27:36,529
Speaker 3: Oh how come I don't know his number?

467
00:27:36,730 --> 00:27:37,969
Speaker 1: Oh you lost his number?

468
00:27:38,169 --> 00:27:41,129
Speaker 3: I was just googling him. Let me. I'm hold on,

469
00:27:41,169 --> 00:27:50,050
Speaker 3: I'm looking. Yeah, I think it might take me. I

470
00:27:50,050 --> 00:27:51,009
Speaker 3: think I have a number.

471
00:27:51,770 --> 00:27:53,209
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that was quick.

472
00:27:54,290 --> 00:27:57,530
Speaker 3: Yeah, it might not be right, but it also might

473
00:27:57,570 --> 00:28:06,170
Speaker 3: be right. I think it's right. Uh. Yeah, I'm nervous now.

474
00:28:07,169 --> 00:28:11,850
Speaker 3: Uh is it the idea of the idea of calling

475
00:28:11,929 --> 00:28:15,889
Speaker 3: of calling him on a podcast without having asked if

476
00:28:15,889 --> 00:28:17,449
Speaker 3: I could call him on a podcast first?

477
00:28:18,169 --> 00:28:19,449
Speaker 1: Yeah?

478
00:28:19,649 --> 00:28:22,009
Speaker 3: Can I call him? Ask if I can call him

479
00:28:22,050 --> 00:28:23,650
Speaker 3: on a podcast?

480
00:28:24,050 --> 00:28:28,369
Speaker 1: And then and then if he's game conference me in maybe.

481
00:28:29,770 --> 00:28:30,810
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so nervous.

482
00:28:31,050 --> 00:28:33,449
Speaker 1: Well, you know what and here here I mean, if

483
00:28:34,010 --> 00:28:36,570
Speaker 1: you get on the phone and you never come back

484
00:28:36,609 --> 00:28:38,810
Speaker 1: to the line, I'll just assume that you guys are

485
00:28:39,530 --> 00:28:44,890
Speaker 1: are talking and are happily talking and you've forgotten about me.

486
00:28:45,209 --> 00:28:47,810
Speaker 3: That's a great idea. All right, I'm gonna try this number.

487
00:28:47,810 --> 00:28:48,490
Speaker 3: We'll see if it were.

488
00:28:49,050 --> 00:28:52,170
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll be standing by.

489
00:28:56,330 --> 00:28:58,130
Speaker 3: Oh it didn't work.

490
00:28:58,330 --> 00:29:00,130
Speaker 1: Oh what happened?

491
00:29:00,610 --> 00:29:04,330
Speaker 3: There was a It just was wrong the disconnected number.

492
00:29:04,570 --> 00:29:07,450
Speaker 1: Huh did you try it twice? Make sure you had

493
00:29:07,450 --> 00:29:11,210
Speaker 1: the number? Great point, That's what I'm here for.

494
00:29:12,330 --> 00:29:15,330
Speaker 3: Hold on, Okay, let me do it again.

495
00:29:15,530 --> 00:29:16,130
Speaker 1: Try it again.