Speaker 1: I want to know when you want to introduce a
Speaker 1: sexual experience to your partner, how do you do it?
Speaker 1: Mandy and I are always saying through porn, set the scene.
Speaker 1: Let's just say tonight, you really want to chew on
Speaker 1: your niggas balls, you want to take your teeth and
Speaker 1: chew on them?
Speaker 2: How are you introducing new sexual shit?
Speaker 3: Something that I've been doing lately is using clips from
Speaker 3: my podcast. I'm like, oh, I had six dollars just
Speaker 3: on and they told me about this, Or I will
Speaker 3: use a clip from Horrible and I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 3: saw this on this podcast.
Speaker 2: Not porn, but you're just showing sterry conversation.
Speaker 3: Just as like, because there's a new relationship. I'm just
Speaker 3: you know, testing the waters. So I was like, do
Speaker 3: you know what compersion is? He was like, no, I
Speaker 3: saw hesw this clip. I saw it and then it
Speaker 3: was Louise explained what compression was, or if it was like, oh,
Speaker 3: what do you think about?
Speaker 4: What's another clip?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 4: I saw them golden showers, so when you think about
Speaker 4: golden showers? And he was like, yeah, nin into that.
Speaker 4: He was like, you ever did it before?
Speaker 1: Hey, here we are, y'all, Billy not saying he was
Speaker 1: never gonna come again. But it really amped it up
Speaker 1: when that nigga said, this is how I found out
Speaker 1: about King Noir. I went on, need to be studied,
Speaker 1: but we were trying to schedule. He's like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: I have a session with King Noir. But it's okay.
Speaker 1: I said, oh no, nigga, we could push our thing.
Speaker 1: You go get that and they come on home. Now,
Speaker 1: normally I thought King Noir was a female client, but
Speaker 1: he said that he was open for you to talk
Speaker 1: about it. So tell us how you got to the
Speaker 1: point where you finally hire a sex worker.
Speaker 4: All right, So this is where I had to do this.
Speaker 3: So I was in a toxic relationship and I developed
Speaker 3: sexual performance anxiety. So I wasn't confident about my body.
Speaker 3: He wasn't that like, it wasn't pouring into me. So
Speaker 3: I'm like, am I.
Speaker 2: Even good getting hard? Or just getting anxious?
Speaker 3: Just getting anxious, like thinking like am I taking dick
Speaker 3: the right way?
Speaker 4: Or am I stucking his dick property? Because he would
Speaker 4: just be like.
Speaker 3: It was I like, look at I And it made
Speaker 3: me call other niggas like, yo, this isn't my dick game?
Speaker 3: Like can I talk like, yeah, I'm like, so.
Speaker 4: This nigga's bugging. But he was just a toxic motherfucker.
Speaker 3: So I was like, you know what, before I go
Speaker 3: into this, and that's the point in my podcast, like
Speaker 3: I use it to make sure, like I'm learning stuff
Speaker 3: needs to be studied, so I'm learning about my sexual
Speaker 3: needs and how to communicate better relationships.
Speaker 4: So I was like, you know what, I have to
Speaker 4: do it. I have a segment called try It for
Speaker 4: the podcast.
Speaker 2: So I was like, such a good segment name.
Speaker 5: Yes, I mean we say we don't stuck for research
Speaker 5: with research, We're doing it for research over here.
Speaker 3: So I'm like, so I hit him up and I
Speaker 3: was like, do you work with male clients? Because I
Speaker 3: always was trying to figure out who works with male clients.
Speaker 3: I know Ken, No, I know some marvels. But I'm like, so,
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, Ken, I got to do it if
Speaker 3: I seen him suck a couple of dicks.
Speaker 2: So, but he sucked.
Speaker 5: Let's be very clear to separate only because I'm very
Speaker 5: adamant in drawing the line between I've only seen King
Speaker 5: no Art actively publicly suck trans women dicks. That's different
Speaker 5: than medics. Yes, So when you hit him up, and
Speaker 5: I don't know, like I'll say, you stuck a dick.
Speaker 5: Those were attached to women. So what was your question
Speaker 5: to him about dealing with male clients? Because I'm outside
Speaker 5: of like three stooms, I've never seen him deal with
Speaker 5: male clients.
Speaker 3: So I basically was like, oh, I'm interested in learning
Speaker 3: my kings and fetishes, but I don't know anybody that
Speaker 3: will male clients.
Speaker 4: Can you point me to a direction? Who would you know?
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll take your money, Oh not?
Speaker 4: Can you guide me?
Speaker 3: Give meidan where to go? And he said, I, you
Speaker 3: know male conent. I was like, oh, let's talk about this.
Speaker 3: So he told me he was like Donald Telegram, I telegram.
Speaker 3: So he gave me his number and then we started
Speaker 3: speaking about it.
Speaker 6: So did he send you his broundies boundaries too on
Speaker 6: what he does with Yeah, So at first we did
Speaker 6: a consultation. He's asking me well like and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 6: what were you hiring him for? I just want to know,
Speaker 6: Like I want to do stuff that I never explored.
Speaker 6: So I was like, let's do this session based off
Speaker 6: a century play, like I want to I want to
Speaker 6: see what flogging fils like.
Speaker 3: I want to feel. I want to feel different things
Speaker 3: I want to do. I want to do a professional Okay,
Speaker 3: it's like okay. So then he gave me a list
Speaker 3: of stuff to fill out and my arm to see
Speaker 3: what I'm into? Am I into change? Am I into which?
Speaker 3: So I'm like, all right, I'm into this, I'm into that.
Speaker 3: And then he was like, all right, I'll be back
Speaker 3: in New York at this time. Let's follow up.
Speaker 4: But then he followed up.
Speaker 3: And then that's when like we start speaking the money.
Speaker 3: I think it's pricey, but it.
Speaker 1: Was expensive, was it under? It was five hundred to
Speaker 1: one thousand, or thousand to fifteen hundred or what.
Speaker 4: I would say it was from twenty five hundred to
Speaker 4: three thousand.
Speaker 5: I was gonna say, So Marvelous is like fifteen hundred
Speaker 5: for two hours.
Speaker 2: Like I have friends that book smarts these mother.
Speaker 4: I can't tell you what he said.
Speaker 2: I saved it. He can't tell it on camera.
Speaker 5: I have friends that have booked So Marvelous for over
Speaker 5: two grand plus flights for like two to three hours.
Speaker 5: Like I will say for anywhere, solo sessions, solo sessions,
Speaker 5: I will say for.
Speaker 2: Anyone listening, anyone that we've come.
Speaker 5: On this podcast and kind of talk to they not cheat, No, no, no,
Speaker 5: she to that girl. Listen, she said six sixty six,
Speaker 5: she said, she said, may you all listen to the
Speaker 5: Dominatrix Jacks. She's the episode that you heard last week.
Speaker 5: She shared her rate.
Speaker 2: She did, these niggas is expensive.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they are. They are. So it was we get it. Yeah,
Speaker 4: it was.
Speaker 2: It was put.
Speaker 3: Him race for two hours or whatever. So I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: so you know you send a deposit and then.
Speaker 2: Fifty percent deposit?
Speaker 4: Why I say for an hour? When not you have two?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: What did you go in paying.
Speaker 4: For an experience?
Speaker 3: So I just I just want to try something like
Speaker 3: I watching you guys show you learned with flog in
Speaker 3: Nobody has a flog in it black.
Speaker 2: I say that all the time. I'll be like, where
Speaker 2: the fuck these niggas?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 2: So you wanted to experience flogging it?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 5: Ye?
Speaker 2: Flogging? Send three play? What other elements of sensory play?
Speaker 3: There was no exact reason. I just wanted to experience
Speaker 3: and say, okay, I did the first round.
Speaker 4: Now for the next round.
Speaker 1: I know I wanted to up thinking that like okay,
Speaker 1: he's guy said my yes, and nose.
Speaker 2: You're gonna get me whatever you got.
Speaker 4: I'm thinking, like, we're gonna do whatever you got.
Speaker 3: But he's like, Okay, when we get there, I'll show
Speaker 3: you what type of tools and the equipments that I
Speaker 3: have and we'll go through it.
Speaker 2: And his voice crazy that ship, that's it indeed.
Speaker 3: So now we get there, so you have to book
Speaker 3: the hotel yourself and then you tell him where to go.
Speaker 5: Wait, you got to pay him and pay for the room.
Speaker 3: So I booked the hotel on Time Square, okay, and
Speaker 3: he came over and then he just came in. He
Speaker 3: was like, you know, his voice is so deep there
Speaker 3: and find it's so sexy. I'm thriking about him too.
Speaker 3: So he was like, did he put the I don't
Speaker 3: know what radio station. I think it's a snow All
Speaker 3: radio station.
Speaker 2: Not you know about sex playlist, Nigga pointed me. When
Speaker 2: you say I didn't watch my ship, then playlist is it?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 3: Then he started taking the stuff out and then he
Speaker 3: was like, all right, this room was a little small,
Speaker 3: you know, it's New York City, Tom Square. He was like,
Speaker 3: all right, we're gonna make this work though, So then
Speaker 3: he started saying you want to be butt.
Speaker 4: Naked, and I'm like, I'll keep my clothing for right now,
Speaker 4: you know, like I just.
Speaker 2: Want to I've been nervous to get naggd too.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So then he's like telling me like layout and then
Speaker 3: like so I started explaining to him why I want
Speaker 3: to do it. I was having second so, like I
Speaker 3: was insecure about my body and I just want to
Speaker 3: build that confidence back. Yeah, he's already were gonna get
Speaker 3: you there right, So and I told him I want
Speaker 3: to be dominated, like I love a good dominant person
Speaker 3: like and I love being a little bitch ass. So
Speaker 3: so he told me spread out archie back.
Speaker 2: He said that you weren't naked.
Speaker 4: That wasn't that yet. He said, I have a great
Speaker 4: arch and I think every person that needs to know
Speaker 4: that I have a great arch.
Speaker 5: A great art.
Speaker 4: She said, my name Ke had a great art. Okay,
Speaker 4: all right, So he had me like right out and
Speaker 4: then he started flogging me.
Speaker 3: Then he so he started using ice down my back,
Speaker 3: and then he told me he was like, from now
Speaker 3: here on out, every time you talk to me, you
Speaker 3: have to say yes, king sir.
Speaker 4: So I'm just like, so he smacking my ass yes,
Speaker 4: king sir, you like this. Yes. At one point I
Speaker 4: was my mind. I said, yes, king daddy.
Speaker 2: Yes, he said, she'd be saying, my dick.
Speaker 5: Literally, I get to the ship instead of what was
Speaker 5: easy to come dick, okay, keep going, keep going.
Speaker 3: Now he's doing that. I'm just like, all right, this
Speaker 3: feels good. So now he tried to use another thing,
Speaker 3: but it was like a what I think it's called
Speaker 3: like a dragontail.
Speaker 4: That ship hurt.
Speaker 3: It felt like I was on roots, like, oh, so,
Speaker 3: thank you for mentioning that. So it was red, green
Speaker 3: or yellow. So it was at one point when he
Speaker 3: was using the whips, I said red that Nigga stought
Speaker 3: the music so fast.
Speaker 2: I like, he said, you stuck everything. I was like, yoo,
Speaker 2: don't kick.
Speaker 3: Yellow to me.
Speaker 2: I love something because he's got to check in that music.
Speaker 4: I said, right that Nigga jumped over so fast something yellow.
Speaker 2: Really happy to hear that.
Speaker 7: I like that.
Speaker 2: I like to click this because now we know what
Speaker 2: it was safe for. It really should be looking like everything,
Speaker 2: including back on you when you're out of sea.
Speaker 4: I looking at the nigga like everything he said.
Speaker 5: You said, right, nigga, you said your head let me gorsh.
Speaker 4: So then you know he's a speeding me affirmation.
Speaker 3: He was like, yo, you did that. He was like,
Speaker 3: you took three strong wits. I'm like you, nigga, that
Speaker 3: shit hurt. So he then from there he's back to
Speaker 3: the ice play. Then he's telling me like, your body
Speaker 3: is beautiful. Whatever your ex putting to you is poison.
Speaker 3: And he's like, I was just like, so now I've
Speaker 3: been over. He's standing on me right this not here
Speaker 3: a zip word.
Speaker 5: You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon,
Speaker 5: But why it's up there. Tap in for the full,
Speaker 5: uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to
Speaker 5: patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messy,
Speaker 5: t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else.
Speaker 5: And now here's You've Got Decisions if you would like to.
Speaker 2: Have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job,
Speaker 2: a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throatfle guess what You've
Speaker 2: got decisions?
Speaker 5: Hey, guys, we'll welcome to another you Got Decisions Because
Speaker 5: if it's one thing we know is we all have
Speaker 5: the right to make a toy as. Now, I don't
Speaker 5: know why it started this week off that way, but
Speaker 5: I'm in a little then, Dude, I am here to
Speaker 5: give my solicitor advice because you asked for a bitch.
Speaker 2: You motherfucking asked for it.
Speaker 5: Okay, But before we get into the you Guy Decision
Speaker 5: listeners submitted question of the week, I'm gonna read yet
Speaker 5: another review from Amazon. But also we have an update
Speaker 5: from a previous You Got Decisions listener about not being
Speaker 5: able to nut. Now, if y'all just saw one of
Speaker 5: our most recent episodes, soo, we was talking about our
Speaker 5: favorite nuts, So y'all might want to go and check
Speaker 5: that out and see if you like the nut like
Speaker 5: me or if you like the nut like Wheezy. And
Speaker 5: you know the type of nute we talk about. We're
Speaker 5: not talking about all Mends and Peak Hans.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 5: Anyways, y'all know we have our book out No Holds Bard,
Speaker 5: a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. And this
Speaker 5: book review comes from Amazon read us sixty two. So
Speaker 5: proud of Mandy and Whezy. This book is a must
Speaker 5: read bestseller. It's titillating, informative, humorous, vulnerable, and soul stiring.
Speaker 5: I identify so much with many of their experiences captured
Speaker 5: in this book in terms of exploring sexuality, affirming my
Speaker 5: personal preferences, and remaining open to learning new alternatives. The
Speaker 5: Horror Hive has been a safe space for so many
Speaker 5: of us. Can't wait for the masses to get to
Speaker 5: know the brilliance of these two media mavens Xoxoh now,
Speaker 5: I know that's right.
Speaker 2: I know that's right.
Speaker 5: We want the world baby to get with it or
Speaker 5: get lost. No, really excited about just the journey that
Speaker 5: we're on with this book. A lot of things have
Speaker 5: just been so unexpected, and I'm just really, really really
Speaker 5: grateful for the horre Hive and everything. Also, keep track
Speaker 5: of our Instagram page and Patreonon Patreon, we kind of
Speaker 5: let you know everything that we got going on, So
Speaker 5: join us on Patreon to be up to date where
Speaker 5: we may be coming to a.
Speaker 2: City near you.
Speaker 5: We are looking to do more intimate spaces within the
Speaker 5: bookstore routing and not doing the theaters. But we are
Speaker 5: looking to bring the podcast back on tour, possibly at
Speaker 5: the top of next year. We're looking to recreate it,
Speaker 5: but for everything this year, we are focused only on
Speaker 5: no holds barred. If you haven't got it yet, please
Speaker 5: go out and get that hunt. Now, I'm going to
Speaker 5: read an update from a previous letter before we get
Speaker 5: to this week's question.
Speaker 2: Now, this one is a follow up from I Can't
Speaker 2: Get My Nut.
Speaker 5: If you want to see where that is, you can
Speaker 5: go to our Instagram feed and literally it'll most likely
Speaker 5: be titled I Can't get my nut on the YGD portion.
Speaker 5: So hey, just wanted to say thank you both for
Speaker 5: the advice. It really came through. After watching, I went
Speaker 5: to the sex door, grabbed a new toy, some lube
Speaker 5: and lingerie, set the mood with music and body oil
Speaker 5: per Wheezy suggestion, and ended up squirting four times back
Speaker 5: to back.
Speaker 2: Now, to go from not.
Speaker 5: Getting a nut to squirting back to back four times,
Speaker 5: let's you know, we kind of know what we'd be
Speaker 5: talking about up here. Now we are unofficial experts on
Speaker 5: all things, but baby, I think we kind of know
Speaker 5: what we're talking when it comes to kind of the
Speaker 5: bitch right. Ever since, it's been easier and way more consistent,
Speaker 5: like something finally clicked. I've even caught myself trying to
Speaker 5: run from it. I know that's right, what I've picked up.
Speaker 5: Stop overthinking. Suction toys work well for me. Moaning makes
Speaker 5: the difference. Mandy, this sent me over the edge. And
Speaker 5: number four, no need to rush. Appreciate y'all for real,
Speaker 5: for real. Now that's always been kind of like my tidbit.
Speaker 5: And I guess it depends if you actually like verbal
Speaker 5: sex or not. But moaning, baby, I will ask. I'll
Speaker 5: be like, I will tell the man I don't hear you.
Speaker 5: I don't hear you.
Speaker 2: Let me hear you.
Speaker 5: Signify that what I'm doing is good. And then for
Speaker 5: me moaning just oh it just made me feel good
Speaker 5: or whatever. All right, let's get into this week's You
Speaker 5: Got Decisions. If you have a question that you want
Speaker 5: us to read here on You Got Decisions, please please
Speaker 5: please email us now at.
Speaker 2: Decisions pod at gmail dot com and just.
Speaker 4: See you know.
Speaker 2: If you'd like to see the full video of the
Speaker 2: You Got Decisions for.
Speaker 5: The week, head on over a Baby to Patreon dot
Speaker 5: com backslash Horrible Decisions. All right, let's see disciple sasshold.
Speaker 5: I need some help, she said, needs your advice. Hey, girls,
Speaker 5: I'm a new fan who loves listening to your podcast
Speaker 5: and will love to get your advice on my current situation,
Speaker 5: so I just had to email. I am recently out
Speaker 5: of an eleven year relationship and we have two young children.
Speaker 5: We are for sure over and I am ready to
Speaker 5: move on with my life. Of course, there's a lot
Speaker 5: more to it, but for the sake of not writing
Speaker 5: you guys a whole book. Basically, he just stopped showing
Speaker 5: me love, and after eleven years, we still weren't married
Speaker 5: and I just have fallen out of love. He still
Speaker 5: wants to work things out, but I am one hundred
Speaker 5: percent done with that relationship for many reasons. We broke
Speaker 5: up officially in October of last year, and I recently
Speaker 5: started fucking a new man. My closest friend has told
Speaker 5: me over and over again that she does not think
Speaker 5: I should be sleeping with anyone so soon, and has
Speaker 5: made it very clear that she doesn't agree with my choices,
Speaker 5: and it just makes me kind of second guess what
Speaker 5: I'm doing. I kind of like this new guy, and
Speaker 5: I definitely enjoy the casual sex we've been having. So
Speaker 5: do you guys think I'm moving on too fast? And
Speaker 5: am I wrong for moving on knowing it would hurt
Speaker 5: The father of my children.
Speaker 2: PS.
Speaker 5: I love what you guys are doing and pray you
Speaker 5: continue to thrive love death. Now, I guess let's start
Speaker 5: with friends and their opinions on what the fuck you
Speaker 5: do with yo kuchi yo dick and your heart? Okay,
Speaker 5: for me and how I operate, Let me share how
Speaker 5: I operate, just so that you know where this advice.
Speaker 2: Is coming from. I am someone that and y'all have
Speaker 2: heard me say this time and time again.
Speaker 5: I don't think I have one friend who's relationship I envy,
Speaker 5: or that I can look up to, or that I'm like, ooh,
Speaker 5: they got it right, not one.
Speaker 2: I think everyone has their ups and downs. I think
Speaker 2: we all have.
Speaker 5: Different ways that we view relationship dynamics, the way that
Speaker 5: we view looks.
Speaker 2: Because bitch, that's another thing. My friends like media ugly niggas,
Speaker 2: so we never agree on who to talk to who
Speaker 2: not to.
Speaker 5: I just say, if you like it, I love it, sis,
Speaker 5: And so for me, I normally come to my friends
Speaker 5: and share the dirt after I already did it. You
Speaker 5: know why, because bitch, I wasn't gonna care what you
Speaker 5: said anyways. So let me go through the.
Speaker 2: Dirt, the mud, the blood, get.
Speaker 5: My heart broke, feel stupid, feel dumb, and then I'm
Speaker 5: gonna come to you and be like, bitch'all was a
Speaker 5: dumb ass, bitch, let me tell you what I did, Like,
Speaker 5: I literally just did that where I brought somebody back
Speaker 5: from the past for like the fucking fifty eleventh time
Speaker 5: that didn't deserve to be in my present, and he
Speaker 5: showed his ass embarrassed me again. And I literally came
Speaker 5: to my friends with the embarrassment, and I was like,
Speaker 5: let me tell y'all why I really cut this nigga
Speaker 5: off now, Because I wasn't gonna tell y'all, I was
Speaker 5: letting him creep back in.
Speaker 2: But let me tell y'all why I don't talk to
Speaker 2: him no more.
Speaker 5: And it was because he showed his ass, so to me,
Speaker 5: I'd rather just get through the shit in silence and
Speaker 5: then share with my friends the blow up. Right.
Speaker 2: And so when you're talking to your friends constantly about
Speaker 2: your relationship.
Speaker 5: By the way, it's August, which means you broke up
Speaker 5: with your baby daddy and your long standing relationship with
Speaker 5: this man that didn't want to make you his wife
Speaker 5: almost a year ago.
Speaker 2: You are like eleven months ten eleven months to the year.
Speaker 5: I personally think you are currently at a place where
Speaker 5: it is fine that you have moved on and am
Speaker 5: having sex and are having sex with someone else. Now
Speaker 5: when it comes to your friend, I think what we
Speaker 5: as women need to do is learn to create our
Speaker 5: create boundaries, tell our friends to shut the fuck up,
Speaker 5: and still let them feel like they can share their
Speaker 5: opinions at the same time.
Speaker 2: So let me tell you what I mean in terms
Speaker 2: of creating boundaries.
Speaker 5: I think that you, if you feel like she's now
Speaker 5: having you second guest someone, you should create your boundary
Speaker 5: by saying, hey, I really love sharing you know what's
Speaker 5: happening in my life with you. However, if you're going
Speaker 5: to keep being negative about something that is currently bringing
Speaker 5: me joy, I'm not going to feel comfortable sharing these
Speaker 5: things with you. So I would love for you to
Speaker 5: either respond to or if you ain't got nothing nice
Speaker 5: to say, don't say nothing at all. There's a boundary
Speaker 5: where you're giving her the right to still be privy
Speaker 5: to the things in your life on the on the
Speaker 5: precedents that she doesn't come to you with some negative
Speaker 5: shit telling you you're not supposed to be doing what
Speaker 5: you're doing right The other part is kindly telling a
Speaker 5: bitch to shut the fuck up. Now, I'm gonna tell
Speaker 5: you the toxic way to do it, and then i'm
Speaker 5: gonna tell you. Let me tell you the nice way
Speaker 5: to do it first. Then I'm gonna tell you the
Speaker 5: toxic way to do it, because I've done it the
Speaker 5: toxic way a few times and baby, it's shuts them
Speaker 5: the fuck up. So the nice way to do it
Speaker 5: would literally be to just say that, like, girl, every
Speaker 5: time I bring this up to you and I'm talking
Speaker 5: about my happiness, you have something negative to say, I
Speaker 5: really wish you wouldn't do that. That would be the
Speaker 5: nice way, right, to just be like, damn you negative,
Speaker 5: Nancy pulls ass whole, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2: I'm happy and you writing all my motherfucking prey. Here's
Speaker 2: the here's the toxic way.
Speaker 5: Here's the toxic way to check a friend who's giving
Speaker 5: you the unsolicited device on what you're doing, especially when
Speaker 5: they shit not together. Now, girl, you telling me all
Speaker 5: these things, but when you left Craig, your baby daddy,
Speaker 5: and when it started fucking Darius and you went.
Speaker 2: Through all that shit, I supported your decisions to make
Speaker 2: that right. What you do in.
Speaker 5: The toxic way to get a bitch to shut up
Speaker 5: is to call out where they fucked up, call out
Speaker 5: where they did some shit that you didn't agree with,
Speaker 5: but you let them continue to find their way.
Speaker 2: That's the toxic way. And you shaking your hand, y'all.
Speaker 2: I'm in the studio.
Speaker 5: I need to know studios right now, and the engineer
Speaker 5: court is like shaking his hand, that would be the
Speaker 5: toxic way. Like, bitch, hold up the mirror to your
Speaker 5: friend and tell her how she did some fuckery and
Speaker 5: you allowed her to just live in her fuckery.
Speaker 2: For as long as she lived in it. Ain't that
Speaker 2: the right way to do a court.
Speaker 7: To be honest, I wouldn't even call that a toxic
Speaker 7: my book. That's just that's just how I That's just
Speaker 7: how I keep.
Speaker 5: It real with.
Speaker 2: Let's be very clear. This is why my friends know.
Speaker 5: There are certain stories and inklings where once they start
Speaker 5: giving me the advice on what I'm doing, Oh bitch,
Speaker 5: at this point, girl, you're not serious because the way
Speaker 5: your baby daddy is set up, the way you not
Speaker 5: get it, the way a nigga ain't never.
Speaker 2: Gave you that. I'm not the fact you feel.
Speaker 5: Me like it's so weird because we do normally have
Speaker 5: all of this like rah, you know what I mean
Speaker 5: for someone doing some shit that we think is some
Speaker 5: some doodo, but then we expect them to kind of
Speaker 5: be supportive when we're doing that same shit. And I
Speaker 5: think it's it's the hypocritic nature of that, you know
Speaker 5: what I mean, Like there's a lot of people who
Speaker 5: could give advice that can't take their advice.
Speaker 7: So also too is like, don't lecture me on accountability
Speaker 7: when you can't take it, like audacity is a thing.
Speaker 5: But also it's interesting to me, and I want to
Speaker 5: go back to the letter. This is the father of
Speaker 5: two children. They were together for eleven years. She mentions
Speaker 5: like he stops showing up for her. She fell out
Speaker 5: of love for him. And let's be very clear when
Speaker 5: a woman's better, y'all know. I love referencing that. I
Speaker 5: know even yeah, I don't care. One of the best
Speaker 5: songs ever. So, knowing that she's stuck around this long,
Speaker 5: she says she never got a ring, they never got married,
Speaker 5: you know, and now she's moving on to someone that
Speaker 5: a you She identified this person as casual sex, so
Speaker 5: it's not like she's fully stepping out there to like
Speaker 5: start dating someone else.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
Speaker 4: Yeah, she knew what it was in her mind.
Speaker 2: Type you feel me and so to me.
Speaker 5: I genuinely feel like a you need to tell your
Speaker 5: friend you either show up for me and support or
Speaker 5: you don't. Secondly, since you called an asked, I do
Speaker 5: not believe at all.
Speaker 2: That you are quote unquote moving too fast.
Speaker 5: I also don't think at this point personally, you should
Speaker 5: be considering the feelings of your baby daddy. If you
Speaker 5: have not been with him for ten or eleven months,
Speaker 5: you quote unquote making him mad, which is what you
Speaker 5: reference in this letter.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you it's a little toxic. It's a little toxic.
Speaker 2: Do you want to be with this man or do
Speaker 2: you not? I think you should not be.
Speaker 5: Considering your ex partner's feelings if the only relationship currently
Speaker 5: is going to be co parenting. Now, if you genuinely
Speaker 5: feel guilty that you're sleeping with someone else, if you
Speaker 5: genuinely feel like you are doing something wrong, if you're
Speaker 5: not feeling like you can express any sort of love
Speaker 5: intimacy with another man, because your baby daddy, in this
Speaker 5: lie in your relationship is still in the back of
Speaker 5: your mind. You may need to sit with yourself to
Speaker 5: figure out if you were actually one hundred percent done,
Speaker 5: because you said you were one hundred percent over this man.
Speaker 5: But the last sentence in this letter literally brings up
Speaker 5: hurting his feelings. It said, and am I wrong for
Speaker 5: moving on? Knowing it would hurt the father of my children?
Speaker 2: Girl, you're a good person.
Speaker 4: But he ain't worried about that.
Speaker 5: Obviously he's not, I mean, but you know what, and
Speaker 5: if he is, if he's making you guilty for moving on, baby,
Speaker 5: it's called manipulation. Uh, Because if he wanted to, he
Speaker 5: would right. So, if he wanted to within those eleven years,
Speaker 5: put a ring on your finger, make you his wife,
Speaker 5: show up for you in a way that didn't make
Speaker 5: you want to step out or leave or break up
Speaker 5: or end the relationship, he would have. And so this
Speaker 5: one foot in, one foot out, whatever he's doing right
Speaker 5: now to you making you feel guilty, maybe you have
Speaker 5: to stand true in what you want to do. And
Speaker 5: if you said you're one hundred percent done, it looks
Speaker 5: like only considering the feelings of the father of your
Speaker 5: children in terms of the children, not what you're doing
Speaker 5: with another man, not how you sleep in with another
Speaker 5: man or moving on. It's funny because you reference him
Speaker 5: as the father of your child, but you're to me
Speaker 5: considering his feelings as an ex, as a lover, as
Speaker 5: a partner, and so those have to be now separated.
Speaker 2: He is the father of your child and an ex
Speaker 2: two different things.
Speaker 5: The father of your children can't make you feel guilty
Speaker 5: for moving on in a relationship when y'all are no
Speaker 5: longer in a relationship now an ex who might still
Speaker 5: just be trying to keep in and has the emotional
Speaker 5: lingering ties to you as a lover and a partner,
Speaker 5: those are the strings that you need to break free of.
Speaker 5: If you're saying he didn't show up for you, y'all
Speaker 5: spent eleven years together. You're saying you've moved on. You
Speaker 5: got to move on, and moving on looks like cutting
Speaker 5: those emotional ties and specifically any guilt around how you're
Speaker 5: enjoying yourself outside of being with him. So those would
Speaker 5: be my two tidbits. I don't think you're moving too fast.
Speaker 5: You're almost a year out of that relationship. I think
Speaker 5: you are owed an orgasm a nut intimacy company. You're
Speaker 5: old that all people are like, we're owed that. I
Speaker 5: would also make sure that you are cutting those sexual
Speaker 5: and intimate ties with your baby daddy, because you can't
Speaker 5: be double dipping and then telling him you one hundred
Speaker 5: percent done with him.
Speaker 2: You either move the bug on, or you don't you
Speaker 2: say or you don't like.
Speaker 5: You can't be on both sides of the coin, and
Speaker 5: so stand firm on business.
Speaker 2: If you one hundred percent over, talk to your friend.
Speaker 5: In either the nice way or to realize bitchway and
Speaker 5: figure out how how much you want or need your
Speaker 5: friend's input on how you handle your love life. That
Speaker 5: would be my advice to you. Let me see who
Speaker 5: wait this way, good on this way, good on this y'all.
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