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Speaker 1: I want to know when you want to introduce a

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Speaker 1: sexual experience to your partner, how do you do it?

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Speaker 1: Mandy and I are always saying through porn, set the scene.

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Speaker 1: Let's just say tonight, you really want to chew on

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Speaker 1: your niggas balls, you want to take your teeth and

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Speaker 1: chew on them?

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Speaker 2: How are you introducing new sexual shit?

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Speaker 3: Something that I've been doing lately is using clips from

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Speaker 3: my podcast. I'm like, oh, I had six dollars just

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Speaker 3: on and they told me about this, Or I will

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Speaker 3: use a clip from Horrible and I'm like, oh, I

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Speaker 3: saw this on this podcast.

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Speaker 2: Not porn, but you're just showing sterry conversation.

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Speaker 3: Just as like, because there's a new relationship. I'm just

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Speaker 3: you know, testing the waters. So I was like, do

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Speaker 3: you know what compersion is? He was like, no, I

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Speaker 3: saw hesw this clip. I saw it and then it

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Speaker 3: was Louise explained what compression was, or if it was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: what do you think about?

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Speaker 4: What's another clip?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 4: I saw them golden showers, so when you think about

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Speaker 4: golden showers? And he was like, yeah, nin into that.

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Speaker 4: He was like, you ever did it before?

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Speaker 1: Hey, here we are, y'all, Billy not saying he was

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Speaker 1: never gonna come again. But it really amped it up

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Speaker 1: when that nigga said, this is how I found out

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Speaker 1: about King Noir. I went on, need to be studied,

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Speaker 1: but we were trying to schedule. He's like, oh, well,

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Speaker 1: I have a session with King Noir. But it's okay.

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Speaker 1: I said, oh no, nigga, we could push our thing.

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Speaker 1: You go get that and they come on home. Now,

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Speaker 1: normally I thought King Noir was a female client, but

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Speaker 1: he said that he was open for you to talk

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Speaker 1: about it. So tell us how you got to the

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Speaker 1: point where you finally hire a sex worker.

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Speaker 4: All right, So this is where I had to do this.

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Speaker 3: So I was in a toxic relationship and I developed

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Speaker 3: sexual performance anxiety. So I wasn't confident about my body.

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Speaker 3: He wasn't that like, it wasn't pouring into me. So

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Speaker 3: I'm like, am I.

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Speaker 2: Even good getting hard? Or just getting anxious?

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Speaker 3: Just getting anxious, like thinking like am I taking dick

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Speaker 3: the right way?

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Speaker 4: Or am I stucking his dick property? Because he would

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Speaker 4: just be like.

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Speaker 3: It was I like, look at I And it made

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Speaker 3: me call other niggas like, yo, this isn't my dick game?

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Speaker 3: Like can I talk like, yeah, I'm like, so.

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Speaker 4: This nigga's bugging. But he was just a toxic motherfucker.

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Speaker 3: So I was like, you know what, before I go

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Speaker 3: into this, and that's the point in my podcast, like

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Speaker 3: I use it to make sure, like I'm learning stuff

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Speaker 3: needs to be studied, so I'm learning about my sexual

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Speaker 3: needs and how to communicate better relationships.

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Speaker 4: So I was like, you know what, I have to

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Speaker 4: do it. I have a segment called try It for

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Speaker 4: the podcast.

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Speaker 2: So I was like, such a good segment name.

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Speaker 5: Yes, I mean we say we don't stuck for research

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Speaker 5: with research, We're doing it for research over here.

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Speaker 3: So I'm like, so I hit him up and I

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Speaker 3: was like, do you work with male clients? Because I

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Speaker 3: always was trying to figure out who works with male clients.

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Speaker 3: I know Ken, No, I know some marvels. But I'm like, so,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, well, Ken, I got to do it if

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Speaker 3: I seen him suck a couple of dicks.

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Speaker 2: So, but he sucked.

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Speaker 5: Let's be very clear to separate only because I'm very

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Speaker 5: adamant in drawing the line between I've only seen King

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Speaker 5: no Art actively publicly suck trans women dicks. That's different

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Speaker 5: than medics. Yes, So when you hit him up, and

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Speaker 5: I don't know, like I'll say, you stuck a dick.

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Speaker 5: Those were attached to women. So what was your question

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Speaker 5: to him about dealing with male clients? Because I'm outside

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Speaker 5: of like three stooms, I've never seen him deal with

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Speaker 5: male clients.

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Speaker 3: So I basically was like, oh, I'm interested in learning

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Speaker 3: my kings and fetishes, but I don't know anybody that

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Speaker 3: will male clients.

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Speaker 4: Can you point me to a direction? Who would you know?

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Speaker 1: Okay, I'll take your money, Oh not?

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Speaker 4: Can you guide me?

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Speaker 3: Give meidan where to go? And he said, I, you

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Speaker 3: know male conent. I was like, oh, let's talk about this.

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Speaker 3: So he told me he was like Donald Telegram, I telegram.

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Speaker 3: So he gave me his number and then we started

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Speaker 3: speaking about it.

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Speaker 6: So did he send you his broundies boundaries too on

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Speaker 6: what he does with Yeah, So at first we did

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Speaker 6: a consultation. He's asking me well like and I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 6: what were you hiring him for? I just want to know,

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Speaker 6: Like I want to do stuff that I never explored.

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Speaker 6: So I was like, let's do this session based off

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Speaker 6: a century play, like I want to I want to

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Speaker 6: see what flogging fils like.

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Speaker 3: I want to feel. I want to feel different things

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Speaker 3: I want to do. I want to do a professional Okay,

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Speaker 3: it's like okay. So then he gave me a list

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Speaker 3: of stuff to fill out and my arm to see

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Speaker 3: what I'm into? Am I into change? Am I into which?

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Speaker 3: So I'm like, all right, I'm into this, I'm into that.

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Speaker 3: And then he was like, all right, I'll be back

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Speaker 3: in New York at this time. Let's follow up.

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Speaker 4: But then he followed up.

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Speaker 3: And then that's when like we start speaking the money.

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Speaker 3: I think it's pricey, but it.

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Speaker 1: Was expensive, was it under? It was five hundred to

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Speaker 1: one thousand, or thousand to fifteen hundred or what.

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Speaker 4: I would say it was from twenty five hundred to

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Speaker 4: three thousand.

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Speaker 5: I was gonna say, So Marvelous is like fifteen hundred

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Speaker 5: for two hours.

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Speaker 2: Like I have friends that book smarts these mother.

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Speaker 4: I can't tell you what he said.

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Speaker 2: I saved it. He can't tell it on camera.

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Speaker 5: I have friends that have booked So Marvelous for over

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Speaker 5: two grand plus flights for like two to three hours.

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Speaker 5: Like I will say for anywhere, solo sessions, solo sessions,

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Speaker 5: I will say for.

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Speaker 2: Anyone listening, anyone that we've come.

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Speaker 5: On this podcast and kind of talk to they not cheat, No, no, no,

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Speaker 5: she to that girl. Listen, she said six sixty six,

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Speaker 5: she said, she said, may you all listen to the

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Speaker 5: Dominatrix Jacks. She's the episode that you heard last week.

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Speaker 5: She shared her rate.

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Speaker 2: She did, these niggas is expensive.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they are. They are. So it was we get it. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it was.

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Speaker 2: It was put.

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Speaker 3: Him race for two hours or whatever. So I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 3: so you know you send a deposit and then.

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Speaker 2: Fifty percent deposit?

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Speaker 4: Why I say for an hour? When not you have two?

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Speaker 3: Now?

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Speaker 2: What did you go in paying.

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Speaker 4: For an experience?

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Speaker 3: So I just I just want to try something like

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Speaker 3: I watching you guys show you learned with flog in

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Speaker 3: Nobody has a flog in it black.

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Speaker 2: I say that all the time. I'll be like, where

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Speaker 2: the fuck these niggas?

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Speaker 5: Right?

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Speaker 2: So you wanted to experience flogging it?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 5: Ye?

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Speaker 2: Flogging? Send three play? What other elements of sensory play?

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Speaker 3: There was no exact reason. I just wanted to experience

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Speaker 3: and say, okay, I did the first round.

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Speaker 4: Now for the next round.

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Speaker 1: I know I wanted to up thinking that like okay,

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Speaker 1: he's guy said my yes, and nose.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna get me whatever you got.

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Speaker 4: I'm thinking, like, we're gonna do whatever you got.

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Speaker 3: But he's like, Okay, when we get there, I'll show

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Speaker 3: you what type of tools and the equipments that I

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Speaker 3: have and we'll go through it.

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Speaker 2: And his voice crazy that ship, that's it indeed.

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Speaker 3: So now we get there, so you have to book

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Speaker 3: the hotel yourself and then you tell him where to go.

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Speaker 5: Wait, you got to pay him and pay for the room.

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Speaker 3: So I booked the hotel on Time Square, okay, and

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Speaker 3: he came over and then he just came in. He

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Speaker 3: was like, you know, his voice is so deep there

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Speaker 3: and find it's so sexy. I'm thriking about him too.

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Speaker 3: So he was like, did he put the I don't

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Speaker 3: know what radio station. I think it's a snow All

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Speaker 3: radio station.

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Speaker 2: Not you know about sex playlist, Nigga pointed me. When

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Speaker 2: you say I didn't watch my ship, then playlist is it?

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Speaker 4: Okay?

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Speaker 3: Then he started taking the stuff out and then he

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Speaker 3: was like, all right, this room was a little small,

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Speaker 3: you know, it's New York City, Tom Square. He was like,

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Speaker 3: all right, we're gonna make this work though, So then

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Speaker 3: he started saying you want to be butt.

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Speaker 4: Naked, and I'm like, I'll keep my clothing for right now,

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Speaker 4: you know, like I just.

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Speaker 2: Want to I've been nervous to get naggd too.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So then he's like telling me like layout and then

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Speaker 3: like so I started explaining to him why I want

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Speaker 3: to do it. I was having second so, like I

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Speaker 3: was insecure about my body and I just want to

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Speaker 3: build that confidence back. Yeah, he's already were gonna get

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Speaker 3: you there right, So and I told him I want

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Speaker 3: to be dominated, like I love a good dominant person

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Speaker 3: like and I love being a little bitch ass. So

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Speaker 3: so he told me spread out archie back.

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Speaker 2: He said that you weren't naked.

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Speaker 4: That wasn't that yet. He said, I have a great

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Speaker 4: arch and I think every person that needs to know

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Speaker 4: that I have a great arch.

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Speaker 5: A great art.

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Speaker 4: She said, my name Ke had a great art. Okay,

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Speaker 4: all right, So he had me like right out and

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Speaker 4: then he started flogging me.

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Speaker 3: Then he so he started using ice down my back,

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Speaker 3: and then he told me he was like, from now

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Speaker 3: here on out, every time you talk to me, you

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Speaker 3: have to say yes, king sir.

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Speaker 4: So I'm just like, so he smacking my ass yes,

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Speaker 4: king sir, you like this. Yes. At one point I

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Speaker 4: was my mind. I said, yes, king daddy.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he said, she'd be saying, my dick.

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Speaker 5: Literally, I get to the ship instead of what was

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Speaker 5: easy to come dick, okay, keep going, keep going.

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Speaker 3: Now he's doing that. I'm just like, all right, this

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Speaker 3: feels good. So now he tried to use another thing,

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Speaker 3: but it was like a what I think it's called

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Speaker 3: like a dragontail.

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Speaker 4: That ship hurt.

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Speaker 3: It felt like I was on roots, like, oh, so,

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Speaker 3: thank you for mentioning that. So it was red, green

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Speaker 3: or yellow. So it was at one point when he

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Speaker 3: was using the whips, I said red that Nigga stought

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Speaker 3: the music so fast.

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Speaker 2: I like, he said, you stuck everything. I was like, yoo,

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Speaker 2: don't kick.

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Speaker 3: Yellow to me.

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Speaker 2: I love something because he's got to check in that music.

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Speaker 4: I said, right that Nigga jumped over so fast something yellow.

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Speaker 2: Really happy to hear that.

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Speaker 7: I like that.

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Speaker 2: I like to click this because now we know what

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Speaker 2: it was safe for. It really should be looking like everything,

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Speaker 2: including back on you when you're out of sea.

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Speaker 4: I looking at the nigga like everything he said.

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Speaker 5: You said, right, nigga, you said your head let me gorsh.

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Speaker 4: So then you know he's a speeding me affirmation.

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Speaker 3: He was like, yo, you did that. He was like,

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Speaker 3: you took three strong wits. I'm like you, nigga, that

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Speaker 3: shit hurt. So he then from there he's back to

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Speaker 3: the ice play. Then he's telling me like, your body

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Speaker 3: is beautiful. Whatever your ex putting to you is poison.

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Speaker 3: And he's like, I was just like, so now I've

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Speaker 3: been over. He's standing on me right this not here

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Speaker 3: a zip word.

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Speaker 5: You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon,

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Speaker 5: But why it's up there. Tap in for the full,

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Speaker 5: uncut and way naster episodes over on Patreon. Go to

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Speaker 5: patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlock all the messy,

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Speaker 5: t wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else.

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Speaker 5: And now here's You've Got Decisions if you would like to.

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Speaker 2: Have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job,

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Speaker 2: a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throatfle guess what You've

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Speaker 2: got decisions?

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Speaker 5: Hey, guys, we'll welcome to another you Got Decisions Because

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Speaker 5: if it's one thing we know is we all have

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Speaker 5: the right to make a toy as. Now, I don't

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Speaker 5: know why it started this week off that way, but

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Speaker 5: I'm in a little then, Dude, I am here to

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Speaker 5: give my solicitor advice because you asked for a bitch.

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Speaker 2: You motherfucking asked for it.

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Speaker 5: Okay, But before we get into the you Guy Decision

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Speaker 5: listeners submitted question of the week, I'm gonna read yet

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Speaker 5: another review from Amazon. But also we have an update

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Speaker 5: from a previous You Got Decisions listener about not being

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Speaker 5: able to nut. Now, if y'all just saw one of

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Speaker 5: our most recent episodes, soo, we was talking about our

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Speaker 5: favorite nuts, So y'all might want to go and check

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Speaker 5: that out and see if you like the nut like

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Speaker 5: me or if you like the nut like Wheezy. And

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Speaker 5: you know the type of nute we talk about. We're

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Speaker 5: not talking about all Mends and Peak Hans.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 5: Anyways, y'all know we have our book out No Holds Bard,

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Speaker 5: a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. And this

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Speaker 5: book review comes from Amazon read us sixty two. So

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Speaker 5: proud of Mandy and Whezy. This book is a must

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Speaker 5: read bestseller. It's titillating, informative, humorous, vulnerable, and soul stiring.

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Speaker 5: I identify so much with many of their experiences captured

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Speaker 5: in this book in terms of exploring sexuality, affirming my

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Speaker 5: personal preferences, and remaining open to learning new alternatives. The

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Speaker 5: Horror Hive has been a safe space for so many

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Speaker 5: of us. Can't wait for the masses to get to

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Speaker 5: know the brilliance of these two media mavens Xoxoh now,

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Speaker 5: I know that's right.

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Speaker 2: I know that's right.

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Speaker 5: We want the world baby to get with it or

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Speaker 5: get lost. No, really excited about just the journey that

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Speaker 5: we're on with this book. A lot of things have

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Speaker 5: just been so unexpected, and I'm just really, really really

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Speaker 5: grateful for the horre Hive and everything. Also, keep track

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Speaker 5: of our Instagram page and Patreonon Patreon, we kind of

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Speaker 5: let you know everything that we got going on, So

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Speaker 5: join us on Patreon to be up to date where

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Speaker 5: we may be coming to a.

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Speaker 2: City near you.

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Speaker 5: We are looking to do more intimate spaces within the

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Speaker 5: bookstore routing and not doing the theaters. But we are

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Speaker 5: looking to bring the podcast back on tour, possibly at

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Speaker 5: the top of next year. We're looking to recreate it,

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Speaker 5: but for everything this year, we are focused only on

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Speaker 5: no holds barred. If you haven't got it yet, please

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Speaker 5: go out and get that hunt. Now, I'm going to

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Speaker 5: read an update from a previous letter before we get

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Speaker 5: to this week's question.

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Speaker 2: Now, this one is a follow up from I Can't

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Speaker 2: Get My Nut.

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Speaker 5: If you want to see where that is, you can

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Speaker 5: go to our Instagram feed and literally it'll most likely

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Speaker 5: be titled I Can't get my nut on the YGD portion.

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Speaker 5: So hey, just wanted to say thank you both for

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Speaker 5: the advice. It really came through. After watching, I went

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Speaker 5: to the sex door, grabbed a new toy, some lube

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Speaker 5: and lingerie, set the mood with music and body oil

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Speaker 5: per Wheezy suggestion, and ended up squirting four times back

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Speaker 5: to back.

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Speaker 2: Now, to go from not.

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Speaker 5: Getting a nut to squirting back to back four times,

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Speaker 5: let's you know, we kind of know what we'd be

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Speaker 5: talking about up here. Now we are unofficial experts on

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Speaker 5: all things, but baby, I think we kind of know

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Speaker 5: what we're talking when it comes to kind of the

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Speaker 5: bitch right. Ever since, it's been easier and way more consistent,

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Speaker 5: like something finally clicked. I've even caught myself trying to

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Speaker 5: run from it. I know that's right, what I've picked up.

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Speaker 5: Stop overthinking. Suction toys work well for me. Moaning makes

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Speaker 5: the difference. Mandy, this sent me over the edge. And

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Speaker 5: number four, no need to rush. Appreciate y'all for real,

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Speaker 5: for real. Now that's always been kind of like my tidbit.

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Speaker 5: And I guess it depends if you actually like verbal

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Speaker 5: sex or not. But moaning, baby, I will ask. I'll

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Speaker 5: be like, I will tell the man I don't hear you.

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Speaker 5: I don't hear you.

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Speaker 2: Let me hear you.

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Speaker 5: Signify that what I'm doing is good. And then for

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Speaker 5: me moaning just oh it just made me feel good

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Speaker 5: or whatever. All right, let's get into this week's You

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Speaker 5: Got Decisions. If you have a question that you want

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Speaker 5: us to read here on You Got Decisions, please please

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Speaker 5: please email us now at.

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Speaker 2: Decisions pod at gmail dot com and just.

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Speaker 4: See you know.

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Speaker 2: If you'd like to see the full video of the

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Speaker 2: You Got Decisions for.

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Speaker 5: The week, head on over a Baby to Patreon dot

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Speaker 5: com backslash Horrible Decisions. All right, let's see disciple sasshold.

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Speaker 5: I need some help, she said, needs your advice. Hey, girls,

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Speaker 5: I'm a new fan who loves listening to your podcast

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Speaker 5: and will love to get your advice on my current situation,

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Speaker 5: so I just had to email. I am recently out

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Speaker 5: of an eleven year relationship and we have two young children.

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Speaker 5: We are for sure over and I am ready to

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Speaker 5: move on with my life. Of course, there's a lot

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Speaker 5: more to it, but for the sake of not writing

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Speaker 5: you guys a whole book. Basically, he just stopped showing

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Speaker 5: me love, and after eleven years, we still weren't married

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Speaker 5: and I just have fallen out of love. He still

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Speaker 5: wants to work things out, but I am one hundred

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Speaker 5: percent done with that relationship for many reasons. We broke

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Speaker 5: up officially in October of last year, and I recently

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Speaker 5: started fucking a new man. My closest friend has told

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Speaker 5: me over and over again that she does not think

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Speaker 5: I should be sleeping with anyone so soon, and has

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Speaker 5: made it very clear that she doesn't agree with my choices,

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Speaker 5: and it just makes me kind of second guess what

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Speaker 5: I'm doing. I kind of like this new guy, and

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Speaker 5: I definitely enjoy the casual sex we've been having. So

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Speaker 5: do you guys think I'm moving on too fast? And

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Speaker 5: am I wrong for moving on knowing it would hurt

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Speaker 5: The father of my children.

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Speaker 2: PS.

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Speaker 5: I love what you guys are doing and pray you

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Speaker 5: continue to thrive love death. Now, I guess let's start

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Speaker 5: with friends and their opinions on what the fuck you

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Speaker 5: do with yo kuchi yo dick and your heart? Okay,

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Speaker 5: for me and how I operate, Let me share how

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Speaker 5: I operate, just so that you know where this advice.

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Speaker 2: Is coming from. I am someone that and y'all have

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Speaker 2: heard me say this time and time again.

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Speaker 5: I don't think I have one friend who's relationship I envy,

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Speaker 5: or that I can look up to, or that I'm like, ooh,

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Speaker 5: they got it right, not one.

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Speaker 2: I think everyone has their ups and downs. I think

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Speaker 2: we all have.

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Speaker 5: Different ways that we view relationship dynamics, the way that

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Speaker 5: we view looks.

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Speaker 2: Because bitch, that's another thing. My friends like media ugly niggas,

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Speaker 2: so we never agree on who to talk to who

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Speaker 2: not to.

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Speaker 5: I just say, if you like it, I love it, sis,

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Speaker 5: And so for me, I normally come to my friends

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Speaker 5: and share the dirt after I already did it. You

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Speaker 5: know why, because bitch, I wasn't gonna care what you

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Speaker 5: said anyways. So let me go through the.

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Speaker 2: Dirt, the mud, the blood, get.

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Speaker 5: My heart broke, feel stupid, feel dumb, and then I'm

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Speaker 5: gonna come to you and be like, bitch'all was a

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Speaker 5: dumb ass, bitch, let me tell you what I did, Like,

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Speaker 5: I literally just did that where I brought somebody back

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Speaker 5: from the past for like the fucking fifty eleventh time

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00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,399
Speaker 5: that didn't deserve to be in my present, and he

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Speaker 5: showed his ass embarrassed me again. And I literally came

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Speaker 5: to my friends with the embarrassment, and I was like,

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Speaker 5: let me tell y'all why I really cut this nigga

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Speaker 5: off now, Because I wasn't gonna tell y'all, I was

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Speaker 5: letting him creep back in.

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Speaker 2: But let me tell y'all why I don't talk to

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Speaker 2: him no more.

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00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,159
Speaker 5: And it was because he showed his ass, so to me,

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Speaker 5: I'd rather just get through the shit in silence and

404
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:44,560
Speaker 5: then share with my friends the blow up. Right.

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00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:48,920
Speaker 2: And so when you're talking to your friends constantly about

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Speaker 2: your relationship.

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00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:53,000
Speaker 5: By the way, it's August, which means you broke up

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00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,399
Speaker 5: with your baby daddy and your long standing relationship with

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Speaker 5: this man that didn't want to make you his wife

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Speaker 5: almost a year ago.

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00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 2: You are like eleven months ten eleven months to the year.

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00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 5: I personally think you are currently at a place where

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00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 5: it is fine that you have moved on and am

414
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,160
Speaker 5: having sex and are having sex with someone else. Now

415
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 5: when it comes to your friend, I think what we

416
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 5: as women need to do is learn to create our

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00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,479
Speaker 5: create boundaries, tell our friends to shut the fuck up,

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Speaker 5: and still let them feel like they can share their

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Speaker 5: opinions at the same time.

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Speaker 2: So let me tell you what I mean in terms

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Speaker 2: of creating boundaries.

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00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:38,520
Speaker 5: I think that you, if you feel like she's now

423
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 5: having you second guest someone, you should create your boundary

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00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 5: by saying, hey, I really love sharing you know what's

425
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 5: happening in my life with you. However, if you're going

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00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 5: to keep being negative about something that is currently bringing

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00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:56,200
Speaker 5: me joy, I'm not going to feel comfortable sharing these

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00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,720
Speaker 5: things with you. So I would love for you to

429
00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,360
Speaker 5: either respond to or if you ain't got nothing nice

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00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 5: to say, don't say nothing at all. There's a boundary

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00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,439
Speaker 5: where you're giving her the right to still be privy

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00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,960
Speaker 5: to the things in your life on the on the

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00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 5: precedents that she doesn't come to you with some negative

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Speaker 5: shit telling you you're not supposed to be doing what

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00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 5: you're doing right The other part is kindly telling a

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00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,200
Speaker 5: bitch to shut the fuck up. Now, I'm gonna tell

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00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 5: you the toxic way to do it, and then i'm

438
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:26,920
Speaker 5: gonna tell you. Let me tell you the nice way

439
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 5: to do it first. Then I'm gonna tell you the

440
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:30,680
Speaker 5: toxic way to do it, because I've done it the

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00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 5: toxic way a few times and baby, it's shuts them

442
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 5: the fuck up. So the nice way to do it

443
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 5: would literally be to just say that, like, girl, every

444
00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 5: time I bring this up to you and I'm talking

445
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,720
Speaker 5: about my happiness, you have something negative to say, I

446
00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 5: really wish you wouldn't do that. That would be the

447
00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 5: nice way, right, to just be like, damn you negative,

448
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 5: Nancy pulls ass whole, shut the fuck up.

449
00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:59,119
Speaker 2: I'm happy and you writing all my motherfucking prey. Here's

450
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 2: the here's the toxic way.

451
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 5: Here's the toxic way to check a friend who's giving

452
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 5: you the unsolicited device on what you're doing, especially when

453
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:16,399
Speaker 5: they shit not together. Now, girl, you telling me all

454
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 5: these things, but when you left Craig, your baby daddy,

455
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 5: and when it started fucking Darius and you went.

456
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:27,199
Speaker 2: Through all that shit, I supported your decisions to make

457
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 2: that right. What you do in.

458
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,119
Speaker 5: The toxic way to get a bitch to shut up

459
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 5: is to call out where they fucked up, call out

460
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,119
Speaker 5: where they did some shit that you didn't agree with,

461
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 5: but you let them continue to find their way.

462
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 2: That's the toxic way. And you shaking your hand, y'all.

463
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 2: I'm in the studio.

464
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:49,159
Speaker 5: I need to know studios right now, and the engineer

465
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 5: court is like shaking his hand, that would be the

466
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 5: toxic way. Like, bitch, hold up the mirror to your

467
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 5: friend and tell her how she did some fuckery and

468
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 5: you allowed her to just live in her fuckery.

469
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 2: For as long as she lived in it. Ain't that

470
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 2: the right way to do a court.

471
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:06,119
Speaker 7: To be honest, I wouldn't even call that a toxic

472
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,200
Speaker 7: my book. That's just that's just how I That's just

473
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 7: how I keep.

474
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 5: It real with.

475
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 2: Let's be very clear. This is why my friends know.

476
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 5: There are certain stories and inklings where once they start

477
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 5: giving me the advice on what I'm doing, Oh bitch,

478
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,919
Speaker 5: at this point, girl, you're not serious because the way

479
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 5: your baby daddy is set up, the way you not

480
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:31,120
Speaker 5: get it, the way a nigga ain't never.

481
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:35,440
Speaker 2: Gave you that. I'm not the fact you feel.

482
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 5: Me like it's so weird because we do normally have

483
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 5: all of this like rah, you know what I mean

484
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,879
Speaker 5: for someone doing some shit that we think is some

485
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 5: some doodo, but then we expect them to kind of

486
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 5: be supportive when we're doing that same shit. And I

487
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 5: think it's it's the hypocritic nature of that, you know

488
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,959
Speaker 5: what I mean, Like there's a lot of people who

489
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 5: could give advice that can't take their advice.

490
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 7: So also too is like, don't lecture me on accountability

491
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 7: when you can't take it, like audacity is a thing.

492
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 5: But also it's interesting to me, and I want to

493
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 5: go back to the letter. This is the father of

494
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 5: two children. They were together for eleven years. She mentions

495
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 5: like he stops showing up for her. She fell out

496
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,240
Speaker 5: of love for him. And let's be very clear when

497
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:27,119
Speaker 5: a woman's better, y'all know. I love referencing that. I

498
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 5: know even yeah, I don't care. One of the best

499
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:34,240
Speaker 5: songs ever. So, knowing that she's stuck around this long,

500
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 5: she says she never got a ring, they never got married,

501
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,639
Speaker 5: you know, and now she's moving on to someone that

502
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 5: a you She identified this person as casual sex, so

503
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,639
Speaker 5: it's not like she's fully stepping out there to like

504
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 5: start dating someone else.

505
00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?

506
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, she knew what it was in her mind.

507
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 2: Type you feel me and so to me.

508
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 5: I genuinely feel like a you need to tell your

509
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,159
Speaker 5: friend you either show up for me and support or

510
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 5: you don't. Secondly, since you called an asked, I do

511
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 5: not believe at all.

512
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 2: That you are quote unquote moving too fast.

513
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 5: I also don't think at this point personally, you should

514
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,840
Speaker 5: be considering the feelings of your baby daddy. If you

515
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,200
Speaker 5: have not been with him for ten or eleven months,

516
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 5: you quote unquote making him mad, which is what you

517
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 5: reference in this letter.

518
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 2: I'll tell you it's a little toxic. It's a little toxic.

519
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 2: Do you want to be with this man or do

520
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 2: you not? I think you should not be.

521
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:41,240
Speaker 5: Considering your ex partner's feelings if the only relationship currently

522
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 5: is going to be co parenting. Now, if you genuinely

523
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 5: feel guilty that you're sleeping with someone else, if you

524
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 5: genuinely feel like you are doing something wrong, if you're

525
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 5: not feeling like you can express any sort of love

526
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 5: intimacy with another man, because your baby daddy, in this

527
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 5: lie in your relationship is still in the back of

528
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 5: your mind. You may need to sit with yourself to

529
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,440
Speaker 5: figure out if you were actually one hundred percent done,

530
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,480
Speaker 5: because you said you were one hundred percent over this man.

531
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:15,800
Speaker 5: But the last sentence in this letter literally brings up

532
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 5: hurting his feelings. It said, and am I wrong for

533
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 5: moving on? Knowing it would hurt the father of my children?

534
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 2: Girl, you're a good person.

535
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:30,000
Speaker 4: But he ain't worried about that.

536
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:32,119
Speaker 5: Obviously he's not, I mean, but you know what, and

537
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:36,919
Speaker 5: if he is, if he's making you guilty for moving on, baby,

538
00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 5: it's called manipulation. Uh, Because if he wanted to, he

539
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 5: would right. So, if he wanted to within those eleven years,

540
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 5: put a ring on your finger, make you his wife,

541
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 5: show up for you in a way that didn't make

542
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,399
Speaker 5: you want to step out or leave or break up

543
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 5: or end the relationship, he would have. And so this

544
00:26:56,520 --> 00:27:00,159
Speaker 5: one foot in, one foot out, whatever he's doing right

545
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 5: now to you making you feel guilty, maybe you have

546
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:07,399
Speaker 5: to stand true in what you want to do. And

547
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 5: if you said you're one hundred percent done, it looks

548
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:15,199
Speaker 5: like only considering the feelings of the father of your

549
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,920
Speaker 5: children in terms of the children, not what you're doing

550
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 5: with another man, not how you sleep in with another

551
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,479
Speaker 5: man or moving on. It's funny because you reference him

552
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,000
Speaker 5: as the father of your child, but you're to me

553
00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:32,400
Speaker 5: considering his feelings as an ex, as a lover, as

554
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 5: a partner, and so those have to be now separated.

555
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 2: He is the father of your child and an ex

556
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 2: two different things.

557
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 5: The father of your children can't make you feel guilty

558
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,200
Speaker 5: for moving on in a relationship when y'all are no

559
00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 5: longer in a relationship now an ex who might still

560
00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 5: just be trying to keep in and has the emotional

561
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:56,400
Speaker 5: lingering ties to you as a lover and a partner,

562
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 5: those are the strings that you need to break free of.

563
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,040
Speaker 5: If you're saying he didn't show up for you, y'all

564
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,680
Speaker 5: spent eleven years together. You're saying you've moved on. You

565
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:10,040
Speaker 5: got to move on, and moving on looks like cutting

566
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 5: those emotional ties and specifically any guilt around how you're

567
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 5: enjoying yourself outside of being with him. So those would

568
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 5: be my two tidbits. I don't think you're moving too fast.

569
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 5: You're almost a year out of that relationship. I think

570
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:33,400
Speaker 5: you are owed an orgasm a nut intimacy company. You're

571
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 5: old that all people are like, we're owed that. I

572
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 5: would also make sure that you are cutting those sexual

573
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 5: and intimate ties with your baby daddy, because you can't

574
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 5: be double dipping and then telling him you one hundred

575
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 5: percent done with him.

576
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 2: You either move the bug on, or you don't you

577
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 2: say or you don't like.

578
00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 5: You can't be on both sides of the coin, and

579
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,120
Speaker 5: so stand firm on business.

580
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 2: If you one hundred percent over, talk to your friend.

581
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 5: In either the nice way or to realize bitchway and

582
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 5: figure out how how much you want or need your

583
00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 5: friend's input on how you handle your love life. That

584
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 5: would be my advice to you. Let me see who

585
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 5: wait this way, good on this way, good on this y'all.

586
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 5: This one was a quick one this week, but make

587
00:29:33,280 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 5: sure you hit us up send us an email. That's

588
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 5: Decisions Pod at gmail dot com. Also in the comments,

589
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,479
Speaker 5: make sure you go on over to our Instagram at

590
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:51,920
Speaker 5: underscore Decisions Decisions, leave your comments, engage, let me know

591
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 5: what you think this person should do. And also you

592
00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 5: get to see the full video over on our Patreon.

593
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 5: So that's patreon dot com. Backslash Horrible Decisions where you

594
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 5: could go ahead and give your advice get into the community,

595
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:09,120
Speaker 5: join our discord, talk do all the things, and thank

596
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 5: you guys for constantly supporting, listening to us, rocking with

597
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 5: us if you want to listen to more of me

598
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 5: as well. Y'all know I got Selective Ignorance every Tuesday

599
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 5: and Friday, So just go on over to Selective Ignorance.

600
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 5: Wherever you listen to Decisions Decisions, I'm there, and you

601
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 5: can also go watch all of period to Selective Ignorance

602
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 5: and everything Mandy b Over on my YouTube channel at

603
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 5: with Mandy b Search that and thank you guys so

604
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,040
Speaker 5: much for tuning in. It's another you got Decisions. We

605
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 5: will see you next Homeday, baby Hie