1 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,600 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of Couch 2 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: Talks on You Need Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat, 3 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: I'm the host, and if you don't know what couch 4 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,319 Speaker 1: Talks is, it is the special bonus episode of You 5 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 1: Need Therapy where I Kat answer questions that you guys, 6 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: the listeners send to me, and you can send this 7 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 1: to Katherine at you Need Therapy podcast dot com. Now. 8 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: Usually we answer one question a week. We always keep 9 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,879 Speaker 1: them anonymous, so don't worry about me reading your name. 10 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: I will not do that. We are going to do 11 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 1: something a little bit different. I'll get into that in 12 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,279 Speaker 1: a second, but before we do that, I just want 13 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: to give the quick reminder that although I am answering 14 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: your questions and I'm a therapist, this podcast does not 15 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: serve as a replacement or substitute for any actual mental 16 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: health services. Okay, so I want to start off the 17 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: episode saying I'm so sorry for giving you guys a 18 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 1: little bit of misinformation last time I recorded. I was 19 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: planning on having a new episode on Monday this past Monday, 20 00:01:09,959 --> 00:01:12,759 Speaker 1: and I actually put out one of my favorite episodes 21 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: I've ever recorded instead because I just went to Vegas 22 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: for I also learned that apparently I say Vegas wrong, 23 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:21,440 Speaker 1: but it feels right to me, So I'm going to 24 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:23,520 Speaker 1: keep saying it the way I say it. But I 25 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: went to Vegas for the first time this past week 26 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,679 Speaker 1: for one of my friend's birthdays. It was also really 27 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 1: weird because Patrick also was there for his bachelor party 28 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,479 Speaker 1: at this same week end. I did run into him 29 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: one time, kind of on accident, kind of on purpose. 30 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: I was not upset about it. However, the weekend just 31 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 1: got the best of me. I thought I was going 32 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: to have plenty of time to plan out this episode 33 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: before I got home and then would record it when 34 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,520 Speaker 1: I got home. But I didn't have the time I 35 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,400 Speaker 1: thought I was going to have, and the episode was 36 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,960 Speaker 1: not giving the attention that I wanted it to get 37 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: because it's an episode that I'm really excited about making 38 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 1: and creating, and so I made the game time decision 39 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: to save it, and I think it'll be worth it 40 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:10,239 Speaker 1: because it just is one of those episodes and topics 41 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: that I feel very passionate about. So I didn't want 42 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,440 Speaker 1: to put like a half done conversation out there. And 43 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: when I say conversation, it's me talking to myself or 44 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: talking to y'all because I think this topic could be 45 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,639 Speaker 1: really impactful and I have a lot of thoughts that 46 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 1: I just want to make really clear. So that's why 47 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,120 Speaker 1: that happened and why I said I would have a 48 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: new episode Monday. However you didn't have one because of that. 49 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,680 Speaker 1: Now you will have a new episode on New Year's 50 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: which is kind of cool. Start the new year off 51 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:42,200 Speaker 1: with a bang, with something fresh, something fun. Maybe New 52 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: Year's themed, maybe not, we don't know yet. So just 53 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 1: know that next week Christmas there will not be new episodes. 54 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,239 Speaker 1: I will do best of episodes and then the week 55 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,919 Speaker 1: after that will be back on track. Now, today I'm 56 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: coming to you with the last new episode of the year. 57 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 1: This is the last new episode of twenty twenty three, 58 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: and so to round out the year, I thought, instead 59 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,359 Speaker 1: of doing a typical couch talks where I answer one question, 60 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:11,960 Speaker 1: we would do some rapid fire, possibly lighter types of 61 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 1: questions to just you know, kind of end with a 62 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 1: little bit of levity, you know. So I had you 63 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 1: guys send me questions via Instagram, and I picked about 64 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,920 Speaker 1: five of them out. And my goal here is to 65 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 1: not take more than two minutes to answer each question. 66 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,520 Speaker 1: Which I know two minutes is not rapid fire, but 67 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,079 Speaker 1: for me, it is rapid fire because I could talk 68 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: about all these things for probably fifteen minutes, if not 69 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 1: longer each So that is my goal. So let's start 70 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 1: with the first question, which is do you have a 71 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: goal setting process for twenty twenty four? Speaking of goals, 72 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: I actually don't. So I usually like to have some 73 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: kind of goal in sight, but I've never developed like 74 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: a New Year's process where I set goals and become 75 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: very intentional and I have a word, and I don't 76 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: have any of those traditions. One thing I do try 77 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,920 Speaker 1: to do each year is write a letter to that 78 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: version of myself. So I write a letter from myself 79 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 1: today to this past year version of me, talking about 80 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,160 Speaker 1: things I've accomplished, things that I've been through. And I 81 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:24,239 Speaker 1: started doing that maybe in twenty eighteen or twenty nineteen. 82 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 1: It was just after I had a really emotionally rough year, 83 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,040 Speaker 1: and I don't know what encouraged me to do it, 84 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: but it actually was so helpful, and it helped me 85 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: see that the year wasn't as terrible as I thought 86 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: it was. And it also was just something that felt 87 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:44,160 Speaker 1: very kind, just a letter to myself, just cheering me 88 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,560 Speaker 1: on and talking me through some other things I had 89 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: been through, and so I will do that. That's not 90 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,600 Speaker 1: necessarily goal setting, but it is a little tradition that 91 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: I like to make time for. And then next year 92 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,840 Speaker 1: what I am planning on doing. Instead of having all 93 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 1: is very sought out, like orderly goals, my goal actually 94 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,040 Speaker 1: is just to be very present, especially in the beginning 95 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 1: of the year, because it's going to go by very fast. 96 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 1: My wedding is in February, and I just imagine it 97 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 1: being gone in the blink of an eye. So my 98 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: goal is just to be very present throughout the beginning 99 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,479 Speaker 1: of the year and take it one day at a time. 100 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: And then instead of creating all these lofty goals for 101 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 1: the year after that, I have a couple of things 102 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: in mind, but I'm going to focus on one goal 103 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,720 Speaker 1: at a time. So I'm going to set a goal, 104 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 1: I'm going to put some attention to it, and then 105 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,600 Speaker 1: I'm going to move forward from there. Once one thing 106 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,520 Speaker 1: is done, then I can move on to the next. 107 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 1: Because if you know any sevens in your life, we 108 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: can really get on a kick of creating seventeen thousand 109 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 1: goals and accomplishing none of them, So staying present one 110 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 1: day at a time, and then probably in March, I'll 111 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: start focusing on one thing at a time. And that's 112 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,839 Speaker 1: my process, if you can call that a process. The 113 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: next question, any advice after years of dating and no success. 114 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: So this is the type of question I get a lot. 115 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 1: I get a lot of questions around dating, and I 116 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: think part of that is because I'm a therapist and 117 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 1: a lot of you guys are going through that process. 118 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 1: And part of that is I've shared a lot about 119 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: my experience dating and how it wasn't always the most 120 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 1: fun until I met Patrick. And I love and I 121 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 1: hate this question. I love this question because I have 122 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: been there and I can feel it viscerally in my soul, 123 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 1: and I want to be able to help people and 124 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,360 Speaker 1: offer hope to people who are in a position that 125 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,559 Speaker 1: I was in for the I mean majority of my life. 126 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:43,040 Speaker 1: And I also hate this question because most advice that 127 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: I received through my process of dating was annoying, and 128 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,600 Speaker 1: most advice that I want to give to anyone I 129 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 1: imagine also to be annoying. And again, I spent a 130 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,479 Speaker 1: lot of years frustrated by dating and frustrated by the 131 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,839 Speaker 1: things that people in relationships would say to me while 132 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: I was dating, and so part of me wants to 133 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: not answer this question. However, somebody asked this question because 134 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 1: they actually want my feedback, and so there are a 135 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 1: couple of things that made a big deal for me 136 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 1: throughout my process and allowed me to stay in it 137 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 1: and gave me hope. So I'm going to answer it. 138 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: I'm taking two minutes to answer the fact that I'm 139 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,840 Speaker 1: going to answer this question. That goal is gone. But 140 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 1: also I won't be offended if any of you guys 141 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: don't want to listen to this, and you can like 142 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: fast forward two minutes to the next question. I feel 143 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: free to do that. That's taking care of yourself. I 144 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: totally get it. I might have done that a couple 145 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: of years ago. But here are a couple just little 146 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,440 Speaker 1: pieces of advice, if you want to call them that, 147 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: that made a big difference for me when I was dating. One, 148 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: take breaks when you need to take a break, and 149 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 1: it doesn't need to be a two week break. It 150 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,960 Speaker 1: doesn't need to be a month break at year break. 151 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: It can be however long. I mean, stay in the present. 152 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 1: You can just take it day by day. But take 153 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: breaks when you need it. You don't always have to 154 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 1: be looking for somebody, you don't always have to be 155 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: intentional about it. You're allowed to rest so you can 156 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: go out and continue. Because dating is a lot of work, 157 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 1: especially in the I mean it's always work, but especially 158 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:16,680 Speaker 1: in the beginning when there's a lot of unknown and 159 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: you know, if you're using dating apps, it's like getting 160 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,280 Speaker 1: yourself ready to go on this date with this person 161 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 1: you don't. There's just a lot of emotional energy, It's 162 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,960 Speaker 1: what I'm trying to say, And so take breaks. The 163 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,520 Speaker 1: second thing I really, really, really strongly highly highly encourage 164 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,160 Speaker 1: is allow yourself to laugh through the process, because if 165 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 1: you cannot laugh through this process, it's going to eat 166 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: you alive. If you had experienced anything like I experienced 167 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 1: through dating, and I've shared before that I had, I 168 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:46,360 Speaker 1: still have it a shitty date jar, which is a 169 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:49,400 Speaker 1: jar that me and my former roommate created when we 170 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:53,439 Speaker 1: started online dating, and anytime we went on a date 171 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 1: or especially really horrible date, we would just write what 172 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: happened on a little piece of paper, put it in 173 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,080 Speaker 1: the jar, and then it became a really fun party 174 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:04,439 Speaker 1: game where people would come over and read about our dates, 175 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: and sometimes we read about them still and laugh. So 176 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: allow yourself to find humor, enjoy it. Not everything has 177 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,239 Speaker 1: to be super serious. We can have all of the emotions. 178 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: We can cry, we can be sad, and also we 179 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:20,320 Speaker 1: can find joy in some of the difficult parts, and 180 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: that might give you a little more energy to be 181 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,280 Speaker 1: able to stay in it, so you don't miss what's 182 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: meant for you. Which that's a phrase that I feel 183 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: is probably really annoying, but it felt right when I 184 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: said it, so I'm going to keep it there. And 185 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,680 Speaker 1: then the third thing I would say is make sure 186 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:41,079 Speaker 1: when you are dating somebody. I really strongly encourage everybody 187 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 1: make sure that you like somebody before you start hoping, wanting, needing, 188 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:50,120 Speaker 1: wishing all of the things, before you start hoping that 189 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:54,160 Speaker 1: they like you. Because you want somebody to want to 190 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:58,120 Speaker 1: date you, not who you think that they want. And 191 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,080 Speaker 1: if we are hyper focused on them liking us, one 192 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: we might be wasting our time because do we even 193 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 1: like this person? And two are we going to create 194 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 1: a version of ourselves or create something that we think 195 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:13,480 Speaker 1: they want versus allow ourselves to show up? And that 196 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 1: can actually be a huge predictor of a relationship not 197 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: going to end up working out if we show up 198 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,200 Speaker 1: in a way to in quote took somebody in and 199 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:28,359 Speaker 1: then eventually relax when we become deeper in the relationship 200 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 1: and then we become more of ourselves. The person we're 201 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: dating might say, Hey, I don't know if I like this. 202 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: I liked the thing you were doing before, the person 203 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 1: you were acting like before, And it doesn't mean there's 204 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: something wrong with you, and doesn't mean there's something wrong 205 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,440 Speaker 1: with the authentic, real part of you, the part of 206 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 1: you and the person and the version that you're being now. 207 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 1: But I kind of think of it as like if 208 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 1: someone thinks that they're buying a bowl, ordering a bowl online, 209 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,400 Speaker 1: and when they get their package it's a plate, good 210 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: chances are they're going to go return the plate and 211 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 1: they're going to go buy a bowl because that's what 212 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: they were looking for. And again I say that that 213 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,440 Speaker 1: doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It's that not 214 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:09,440 Speaker 1: everybody likes everybody. So if we don't show up as 215 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:13,200 Speaker 1: ourselves and that's who somebody likes, well, then we're going 216 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 1: to get ourselves in trouble because that person doesn't like you. 217 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,760 Speaker 1: So you're kind of saving yourself some unnecessary heartbreak in that. 218 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,439 Speaker 1: So make sure you like somebody before you start hoping, 219 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,520 Speaker 1: worrying and wanting them to like you. And then the 220 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 1: most cliche thing be yourself. Ah, I find myself being 221 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 1: annoyed with myself with some of those things. So hopes 222 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: that was helpful, and I hope if it wasn't helpful, 223 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: you just breezed past it and moved to question number three, 224 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:44,840 Speaker 1: which is my favorite Harry Potter book or movie? And 225 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,400 Speaker 1: if you are unaware of why somebody would send that in. 226 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: I went on a Harry Potter journey this year. I 227 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:53,280 Speaker 1: watched all of the Harry Potter movies starting in twenty 228 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 1: twenty two and then twenty twenty three. My goal was 229 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 1: to read all the books. And when I say read, 230 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:02,280 Speaker 1: I mean listen on audiobook. They are so the audio 231 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,240 Speaker 1: versions of those are honestly better than the movies. I 232 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 1: might take that back, but right now I mean it. 233 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,839 Speaker 1: And this is hard because when I listened to the movies, 234 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:11,840 Speaker 1: they kind of I mean when I listened to the books, 235 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,800 Speaker 1: they kind of all ran together. So I'm going to 236 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 1: go with the first book was my favorite one because 237 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: it was the shortest and two it was just setting 238 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,360 Speaker 1: everything up, and I felt like I learned so much 239 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 1: more about the characters that I didn't get from the 240 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: movies just in the first book. And there are so 241 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,080 Speaker 1: many details that you don't get in the movies that 242 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,200 Speaker 1: I started getting in the first book. It really made 243 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: listening to the books exciting because even though I kind 244 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,000 Speaker 1: of knew what was going to happen at the same time, 245 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: I did it. So the first book for sure. And 246 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,079 Speaker 1: then my favorite movie I think was Prisoner of Azkavan. 247 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:50,560 Speaker 1: I cannot tell you why, because again, just like the books, 248 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:52,840 Speaker 1: the movie is kind of because I've watched them all 249 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 1: pretty close together, they kind of all ran together. I 250 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: will say the one movie that I thought like was 251 00:12:58,559 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: kind of boring was The Half Blood Prints, but the 252 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 1: book wasn't boring, which was interesting. I just felt like 253 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:08,760 Speaker 1: nothing happened in it. And then the second to last movie. 254 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: I can't remember if there were like seven movies six 255 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: books or seven books eight movies, but the second to 256 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 1: last movie I felt kind of dread. It was just 257 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 1: like setting up the last movie, So that one also 258 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: wasn't my favorite, but Prisoner of Askaman I for whatever reason, 259 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: that one stands out to me. Maybe it's because I 260 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 1: like the name, but we're going to get with that. Now. 261 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: We're going to try to convince Patrick to take me 262 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,199 Speaker 1: to Harry Potter World, because that was the deal if 263 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 1: I got through all the books in a year. But 264 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: that's a pretty expensive trip, so that might be happening 265 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty five. And then the last question I'm 266 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:48,480 Speaker 1: going to answer is what are non negotiables for maintaining 267 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: what you feel is a healthy life? Now? I could 268 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,240 Speaker 1: take this question a couple ways. The first time I 269 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,680 Speaker 1: read it was like, what are tangible things that you 270 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:02,080 Speaker 1: do every day that help you maintain what you feel 271 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,880 Speaker 1: is like a healthy life. The other way I read 272 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 1: that the second time I read it was things that 273 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 1: you live by that you incorporate maybe more like belief 274 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 1: systems that you put into your every day that help 275 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,839 Speaker 1: you live your days in a healthy way. And that's 276 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 1: how I'm going to answer that, because there actually are 277 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 1: not that I can really think of right now. There's 278 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: not really anything that I do in quotes like actions 279 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 1: that I do every single day. No matter what. I 280 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: don't work out every day, I don't eat the same 281 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,800 Speaker 1: things every day, I don't wake up at the same 282 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 1: time every single day. I don't have any of those rituals. 283 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 1: I mean I most of the time like wash my 284 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 1: face and brush my teeth before bed and shower and 285 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 1: stuff like that. But I don't think that that's what 286 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: this person is asking. And so I think, really, what 287 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,480 Speaker 1: is a non negotiable for me is what has actually 288 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,240 Speaker 1: set up the fact that I don't have any of 289 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: these things that I do every day, and that's allowing 290 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:01,280 Speaker 1: flexibility in my life and allow wowing myself to change 291 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: my mind at any point. And I personally hope to 292 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,560 Speaker 1: never be tied down by the kind of rules that 293 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: I once lived by, especially when I was struggling with 294 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 1: an eating disorder, and so steering clear of super rigid 295 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 1: rules feels very important to me. There can be things 296 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: that I like to do normally, there are things that 297 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,479 Speaker 1: I do regularly. There are things that I do consistently, 298 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 1: for sure, But every single day, I think my one 299 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 1: non negotiable is to be flexible and allow change to 300 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 1: exist in my life. Of course, like I said, I 301 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:42,000 Speaker 1: do the same basic skincare every day. I wake up 302 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 1: at about the same time every day, but they are 303 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 1: not things that I think are in place, and those 304 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,160 Speaker 1: allow me to live and maintain a healthy life and lifestyle. 305 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: I think what that really is is the flexibility and 306 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 1: allowing myself to take every day at its own because 307 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: not everything that I do fits with every day that 308 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: I live, and I think that's really important. Thank you 309 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: everybody who sent a question, And if I didn't answer 310 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,400 Speaker 1: your question, I'll try to answer them on my stories 311 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:11,120 Speaker 1: when this comes out. So I guess today, if you're 312 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 1: listening to it on Wednesday or maybe Thursday, it might 313 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,640 Speaker 1: drag onto the next day. And I hope you guys 314 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: have a wonderful holiday. I hope you have a wonderful 315 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,360 Speaker 1: New Year. I will be with you guys on New Years. 316 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,840 Speaker 1: There will be a new episode out, so look out 317 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,600 Speaker 1: for that. Until then, I hope you guys have the 318 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 1: days that you need to have, the end of the 319 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 1: year that you need to have, the holiday that you 320 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 1: need to have, allow flexibility into your life. And thank 321 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 1: you so much for spending twenty twenty three or part 322 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: of your twenty twenty three with me. I have a 323 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 1: lot of things that have happened this past year that 324 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 1: have been really exciting that I have shared with you guys, 325 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:48,480 Speaker 1: and a lot of conversations I have had with people 326 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:52,160 Speaker 1: on here. We're really exciting and really important, so thank 327 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:55,040 Speaker 1: you for being a part of it, and I guess 328 00:16:55,040 --> 00:17:08,120 Speaker 1: I will talk to you in twenty twenty four. Bye.