Speaker 1: A.
Speaker 2: Hi, is this Marissa?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: How are you doing Marissa?
Speaker 1: I'm doing good?
Speaker 2: How are you Marissa? It says here that you're twenty
Speaker 2: seven years old from California. It says that you lied
Speaker 2: to a bunch of people that your mom died and
Speaker 2: that and then you moved away and then now you
Speaker 2: have to face the people that you lied to.
Speaker 1: Is this the gay?
Speaker 2: This is Marisa?
Speaker 3: Where?
Speaker 2: How did you?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: Marissa? Why did you lie to a bunch of people
Speaker 2: that your mom died? Let's start there.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I lied to begin with because I just
Speaker 1: have a very I had a very tumultuous, just kind
Speaker 1: of crazy upbringing and a rough childhood, so to speak,
Speaker 1: and my mom wasn't in my life, and it gets
Speaker 1: kind of exhausting having to answer people, you know, where's
Speaker 1: your mom? What happened? Why aren't you guys on good terms?
Speaker 1: And I made up the shitty lie that she passed
Speaker 1: away and I had died to avoid having to answer
Speaker 1: any more questions about my mom and kind of having
Speaker 1: to bring up trauma for me over and over again.
Speaker 1: And you know, I told this to everybody that I
Speaker 1: worked with, my roommates, everyone, and my roommate even knew her.
Speaker 1: We were friends for like over a decade, and he
Speaker 1: first hand knew her. And I ended up leaving the job.
Speaker 1: A couple of years later. We moved to southern California
Speaker 1: and I am reconnecting with my mom and the relationship
Speaker 1: is starting to thrive again, and my partner and I
Speaker 1: we are kind of moving towards marriage, and I brought
Speaker 1: up the discussion of what's gonna happen if my mom
Speaker 1: comes to our wedding and all these people that I'm
Speaker 1: friends with and I love I want at the wedding also,
Speaker 1: and they're gonna come face to face with my life.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a pretty funny scenario. So tell me
Speaker 2: what happened to all right, So you had to kind
Speaker 2: of shit a relationship with your mom. She wasn't there,
Speaker 2: so you didn't feel like explaining it to people, so
Speaker 2: you just told them all she died, which is understandable.
Speaker 2: I'll say that what happened to make it so that
Speaker 2: you guys repair to your relationship later on.
Speaker 1: I I've just done a lot of growing. I've looked
Speaker 1: into myself a lot, and you know, is it worth
Speaker 1: hanging on to all this negative feelings towards her, is
Speaker 1: it worth kind of living in the past still, just
Speaker 1: by being so angry at her? And you know, I
Speaker 1: never even knew her aside from you know, the drug
Speaker 1: usage and all of that. So I just have been
Speaker 1: working on myself a lot these last couple of years,
Speaker 1: especially since we moved to southern California, and trying to
Speaker 1: seek what's just peep inside of myself. And so I
Speaker 1: found sure my mom and I messaged her on Facebook
Speaker 1: and I told her that I had basically forgiven her,
Speaker 1: and I found that in myself I had forgiven her.
Speaker 1: And I told her I don't need her to respond anything.
Speaker 1: I just want her to know that she's okay with me,
Speaker 1: and I'm okay with her, and if we're not on
Speaker 1: each other's life, that's fine. I just I didn't want
Speaker 1: could die knowing that my mom thinks I hated her,
Speaker 1: and I don't hate her. I just realized she you know,
Speaker 1: she has a lot of trauma. She made a lot
Speaker 1: of shitty decisions and a lot of bad decisions that
Speaker 1: ultimately affected me and my childhood. And I just I
Speaker 1: got over that. I was ready to forgive her. So
Speaker 1: now she's present and we've been talking to each other
Speaker 1: for the last seven or eight months now, and things
Speaker 1: have been really great, and she's changed into a whole
Speaker 1: other person and I really admire her.
Speaker 4: And she's just.
Speaker 1: Come a long way since all of the drug usage
Speaker 1: and all of just the narcissistic abuse, and I'm proud
Speaker 1: of her, and so I'm happy to, you know, tell
Speaker 1: my partner, Hey, we could potentially have my mom at
Speaker 1: my wedding or our wedding. And I never thought that
Speaker 1: was possible, but holy shit, we have.
Speaker 5: A whole nother problem.
Speaker 1: Everyone thinks she's dead.
Speaker 2: No, okay, So first of all, first of all, that's
Speaker 2: a that's an amazing story.
Speaker 3: To me.
Speaker 2: That's pretty wild. Uh, I don't know, I mean, don't
Speaker 2: have to get into the details of of what it
Speaker 2: was like growing up with your mom or any of
Speaker 2: that stuff. But for you to, you know, now that
Speaker 2: you're older, summon the forgiveness to reach out to your
Speaker 2: mom and go, we're cool, and then after that, for
Speaker 2: your mom to reveal herself to you as a whole
Speaker 2: other person who you enjoy being around, who you say
Speaker 2: you admire, I mean, that's that's pretty that's pretty sweet.
Speaker 2: That's pretty wild to me. Uh, and and and yeah,
Speaker 2: it's probably she was on the.
Speaker 1: East coast, so we we won't have a chance to
Speaker 1: kind of like be in person together. So it makes
Speaker 1: rekindling the relationship a lot easier. I don't have to
Speaker 1: fake her, but I do feel like shit, obviously that
Speaker 1: I've fucking made this huge lie up about my mom
Speaker 1: and now here she is. I never thought that she
Speaker 1: would ever be back in my life and I'm.
Speaker 5: Shitty.
Speaker 2: No, Marissa, you don't have shat your pants. And here's why.
Speaker 2: The Rissa, the truth of this whole thing is perfectly
Speaker 2: understandable to people, like tell like I mean, I mean,
Speaker 2: your only problem, Your only problem is that it's a
Speaker 2: long ish story. But dude, if anyone asks Marissa, tell
Speaker 2: them the truth, they'll understand the truth. Like, here's the truth.
Speaker 2: Your mom was shitty when you were growing up, and
Speaker 2: you resented her for a while, and so to you,
Speaker 2: she pretty much was dead. She was out of your life,
Speaker 2: and you didn't want to have to explain to people
Speaker 2: the complexities of the relationship. She wasn't in your life,
Speaker 2: so you told them that she was dead. And that's like,
Speaker 2: I think most people will understand that. You know, you
Speaker 2: didn't lie for some weird, stupid reason like you wanted
Speaker 2: to gain sympathy or anything like that. You lied for
Speaker 2: a understandable reason. And like I said to you, she
Speaker 2: pretty much was dead. And then why is she at
Speaker 2: your wedding? Well, now you have this amazing story of
Speaker 2: you summoned the courage to forgive her. She revealed herself
Speaker 2: to you as changed. Now you are blossoming a new relationship,
Speaker 2: and I think people will find that truth to be
Speaker 2: kind of beautiful. So I don't think you need to
Speaker 2: lie about any of this stuff. I think that the
Speaker 2: truth is acceptable, So you don't need to be shitting
Speaker 2: your pants. Your only problem is that it will take
Speaker 2: you a little bit to explain. But you totally don't
Speaker 2: need to shoo your pants over this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess you're right, because I mean, I loved
Speaker 1: everybody I worked with and.
Speaker 5: That I did tell this fallacy too. But you know,
Speaker 5: I don't not all of them in my life, just
Speaker 5: you know, the ones that matter to me.
Speaker 1: But it's just so it's.
Speaker 5: A it's a lot I guess to hold. You know,
Speaker 5: I don't want anything bad to happen to my mom
Speaker 5: because I made.
Speaker 3: Up this shitty lie.
Speaker 5: But I mean, I guess I could only hope.
Speaker 1: That my friends would understand that, like what you said,
Speaker 1: I I did it to protect myself.
Speaker 2: I think they will. I think if they're good friends,
Speaker 2: they will. I don't think you and I want to
Speaker 2: reframe your if, like if we could. I'm not a
Speaker 2: real therapist, but let's do this. You you have this
Speaker 2: idea of this lie as like a shitty thing, or
Speaker 2: that like it was somehow immoral of you to do.
Speaker 2: Is that true?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, I have a lot of guilt about this
Speaker 1: lie I've made.
Speaker 2: I don't think you should be guilty about this lie.
Speaker 2: I think you should reframe it. I think you should
Speaker 2: cut yourself some slegh because it's totally understandable why you
Speaker 2: you said this, And I look, I don't know some
Speaker 2: people could even argue it's not a lie. I mean,
Speaker 2: maybe here's the here's the sort of argument why why
Speaker 2: it's not a lie? Because she was out of your life.
Speaker 2: She's practically dead to you. She didn't exist. I mean,
Speaker 2: she was not literally dead, but she's practically dead to you.
Speaker 2: She didn't exist in your life. Yeah, you didn't feel
Speaker 2: like telling acquaintances the whole long story of all this
Speaker 2: shit that you didn't want to revisit, and so you
Speaker 2: told them she was dead. You don't owe these people
Speaker 2: this long explanation of the literal truth. And every person
Speaker 2: who has any amount of you know, empathy for you
Speaker 2: or considers you their friend, will be able to understand that.
Speaker 2: I really do think so. And I don't think you
Speaker 2: should feel guilty about about tell people earlier that your
Speaker 2: mom was dead. I think if anything, I mean, I mean, look,
Speaker 2: to me, this is a funny story. I know it's
Speaker 2: I know, I know it's I know. It like doesn't
Speaker 2: feel like that because there's was a lot of pain
Speaker 2: in there, but it's it's a little funny to me
Speaker 2: because it also ends in a happy and nice way.
Speaker 2: Now you've had this beautiful relationship with uh uh, your mom.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of healing, it sounds uh the fact
Speaker 2: that you admire her now and that you're forming this
Speaker 2: new land and you're inviting her to your wedding, like
Speaker 2: everything is is like working out like a cool, positive way.
Speaker 2: And these feelings of guilt they have, I don't they
Speaker 2: don't have a place in this story.
Speaker 3: To me.
Speaker 2: This just feels like a kind of a funny story
Speaker 2: to me.
Speaker 1: Okay, old, oh my god, a lot of funny stories
Speaker 1: about my trauma.
Speaker 2: Lyle, Well, well, I mean, I really do, I really
Speaker 2: do want you to not feel guilty about this. And
Speaker 2: I'm not reading the chat, but I think a lot
Speaker 2: of people I'm.
Speaker 1: Telling you better about it. You're communicating it very well,
Speaker 1: and I appreciate you listening to it. It's you know,
Speaker 1: like I said, I've carried it a lot. You know,
Speaker 1: it's been years since I told anybody about this. You know,
Speaker 1: this was back in I don't know twenty nineteen, twenty
Speaker 1: eighteen that I started telling people this, And yeah, I
Speaker 1: think you're right. I just felt like it was a
Speaker 1: guilty It was just a part of my life I
Speaker 1: didn't want to experience anymore because she wasn't a part
Speaker 1: of it. Now she's back, And if anyone has to
Speaker 1: ask any questions, I just tell them the truth, guilt free.
Speaker 2: Tell you please, please, please tell them the truth guilt free.
Speaker 2: Because the truth. Anyone listening to this any like the
Speaker 2: truth of this story. You don't have to lie anymore,
Speaker 2: like this is the truth of this story is understandable
Speaker 2: to anyone who has any empathy for you.
Speaker 1: You right lyle fucking get forever.
Speaker 2: I want to ask real quick before we go, what
Speaker 2: can you tell me where the guilt is like coming from?
Speaker 2: Like what's the crux of the guilt. Are you guilty?
Speaker 2: Like who do you feel like you're hurting with this lie?
Speaker 2: You know, you don't oh your work, acquaintances, the literal
Speaker 2: truth of anything, Like where do you feel like this
Speaker 2: guilt is coming from?
Speaker 1: I mean, maybe my I do just feel bad my mom.
Speaker 1: You know, she might be upset about that, But I
Speaker 1: don't think that's something that I would ever tell my mom.
Speaker 1: I kind of even have in a way that I've
Speaker 1: I've told her kind of blatantly and straight up to
Speaker 1: that I kind of killed her off in a sense.
Speaker 1: And I don't talk about her and I don't think
Speaker 1: about her, And you know, it's really just kind of
Speaker 1: knowing that I lied about something that some people would
Speaker 1: consider to be really serious.
Speaker 2: M hmm.
Speaker 1: That's kind of it, just knowing that I lied. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm really big on honesty overall. I'm a little too
Speaker 1: honest up tons, But just knowing that that is a
Speaker 1: lie that occurred, and that it's kind of a big one,
Speaker 1: and that's that's kind of it.
Speaker 2: I think if you're at a point with your mom
Speaker 2: where you're repairing the relationship, I think, so your mom
Speaker 2: doesn't know that you told everyone.
Speaker 3: She was dead.
Speaker 1: No, she knows that I have killed her off in
Speaker 1: a way, but she thinks that that's kind of you know,
Speaker 1: between being myself and I not between me myself and
Speaker 1: my co workers in my old roommate.
Speaker 3: You know. But that's a lot.
Speaker 1: I'm sure.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll say this. I think if you don't, you know,
Speaker 2: I obviously you don't have to do anything. But if
Speaker 2: you were to tell your mom that you told every
Speaker 2: when she was dead, I don't think that's a horrible
Speaker 2: thing because your mom, like in this process of rebuilding
Speaker 2: your relationship, when you're telling her the truth of hey,
Speaker 2: you did all these things and they were fucked up,
Speaker 2: and so I told her when you were dead and
Speaker 2: like that and that's the truth. Like part of the
Speaker 2: healing process should be her accepting that truth. And I
Speaker 2: don't again, I don't. I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 2: a whole lot about your relationship with her or where
Speaker 2: it is right now.
Speaker 3: But.
Speaker 2: I feel like if it's in a good place, she
Speaker 2: should be able to accept that truth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well she's coming to is it my partner and
Speaker 1: I in about two weeks, so uh, maybe that'll be
Speaker 1: a good time to tell.
Speaker 2: Her, beautiful what kind of what kind of food are
Speaker 2: we getting at this wedding? Will there be a chocolate fountain?
Speaker 2: Will there be mac and cheese?
Speaker 1: I've talked multiple times for my partner about this. I
Speaker 1: desperately want pizza at my wedding. It's just a kind
Speaker 1: of bitch that I am pizza forever.
Speaker 2: Can you tell me or what kind of is it? Like?
Speaker 2: Are you going to get? Yeah, doude, tell well what
Speaker 2: kind of pizza? Is this like from a from a
Speaker 2: name brand pizza joint or is this like a catering
Speaker 2: company's pizza option?
Speaker 1: Well, I would prefer name brand.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: If anything Mod pizza, shout out Mod?
Speaker 2: What kind of a Mod pizza? Can we get? A
Speaker 2: We need a Mod pizza sponsorship for your wedding. I
Speaker 2: don't know how we can get that going, but if
Speaker 2: anyone listens to.
Speaker 1: This, absolutely sponsor my wedding because I worked there for
Speaker 1: like almost four years, Well that would be amazing.
Speaker 2: Marsa, get yourself some goddamn Mod pizza at your wedding,
Speaker 2: Mazel tav on the marriage, and thank you very much
Speaker 2: for sharing all this with us.
Speaker 5: Thank you lyle Gek forever.
Speaker 1: I love you, buddy.
Speaker 2: Thanks versa, have a good night. Well that was fucking fascinating.
Speaker 2: I I really do feel like that was that to
Speaker 2: me is it is a funny story. It's like, like
Speaker 2: I know that the background of it, there's like a
Speaker 2: lot of fucked up feelings, but it's it's like, I
Speaker 2: don't know, it's a little funny. You told everyone that
Speaker 2: your mom is dead, and then you repaired your relationship,
Speaker 2: and now she's coming back to your wedding. Like when
Speaker 2: you tell this, like these these things that in the
Speaker 2: moment of them have these like you know, you got
Speaker 2: guilt and you got uh shame or whatever else feelings
Speaker 2: are going on. But when you tell that story, when
Speaker 2: you tell the whole of that story in a retrospective
Speaker 2: and the truth of it, it's a good story. It's
Speaker 2: kind of a beautiful story that they were able to
Speaker 2: repair their relationship after all this nonsense, and she's at
Speaker 2: the wedding and she's alive. It's got a good ending
Speaker 2: to it. So I don't think she should be afraid
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, Hello, how are you doing.
Speaker 2: I'm hanging out. I'm being a gecko on the computer.
Speaker 2: How are you?
Speaker 3: You know, just chilling? You a hobby?
Speaker 2: I actually don't know how. I've never talked to you
Speaker 2: before in my life.
Speaker 3: I was about to say, but please tell me how
Speaker 3: you be.
Speaker 2: I want to that's why we're on the phone. Hears too,
Speaker 2: I want to know how you be.
Speaker 3: I'll be pretty good, you know, I'm just chilling. You know,
Speaker 3: I got today off work. You know, this great holiday,
Speaker 3: you know, if you're as white male, great holiday. So
Speaker 3: you know pretty good?
Speaker 2: Sure? Okay, well maze, tell me what you you wanted
Speaker 2: to talk about today.
Speaker 3: So I'm I'm terrified. I've always found humor in people
Speaker 3: being in defeat. And then I was talking to my
Speaker 3: dad the other day and he was a little tipsy
Speaker 3: and he admitted to me that he was in defeat.
Speaker 3: So naturally, what do you do? You you you you
Speaker 3: go talk to your siblings and see, I.
Speaker 2: Thought you said you found humor in people being in defeat,
Speaker 2: like like like like to okay, you're you're saying in two.
Speaker 3: Feet in space to space feet period.
Speaker 2: I think into is one word.
Speaker 3: Though, bro I went to I went to school in Alabama.
Speaker 3: My grammar is not great. I'm not good with words
Speaker 3: or maths, but you know, I do. I do my best.
Speaker 2: Okay, I respect that.
Speaker 3: But yeah, So I went and talked to my sister,
Speaker 3: and my sister told me that she finds people's She
Speaker 3: is aesthetically into people's arches. And I am curious if
Speaker 3: that means that. Do you think she is in defeat?
Speaker 3: Is in defeat? And if so, do you think that
Speaker 3: is an hereditary thing?
Speaker 2: Interesting? So your father drunkenly told you that he is
Speaker 2: a foot fetish, and then you started asking your siblings
Speaker 2: about whether or not they have foot fetishes.
Speaker 3: Even worse, my father said he is into a bunch
Speaker 3: of stuff. He didn't specify, but he said he's into
Speaker 3: a bunch of different things. And I don't really want
Speaker 3: to know what that means.
Speaker 2: Okay, I would also not want to know what that
Speaker 2: means if my father told me that. And why how
Speaker 2: did you start this conversation with your sister again? I
Speaker 2: feel like I glossed over that.
Speaker 3: I just asked her if I was in feed I
Speaker 3: played a lot of online video games, and my first
Speaker 3: question is people, If people can send me feet picks,
Speaker 3: because that's that's it's funny. It gets the other team
Speaker 3: on their toes. So I just naturally was like, hey,
Speaker 3: like are you are you in defeat? And she said,
Speaker 3: well no, but I find people's arches aesthetically pleasing.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so now you know that about your sister.
Speaker 2: You could have stopped into your family's foot fetish right
Speaker 2: at your dad. Well you chose to investigate further into
Speaker 2: your sister.
Speaker 3: Have you ever seen national treasure?
Speaker 2: With Nicholas Cage, I have not seen nationalist treasure.
Speaker 3: You haven't seen natural national treasure?
Speaker 2: No, I know it's the Declaration of Independence. I think
Speaker 2: it is right? Is that the same?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Yes, My search into my family's foot fetish thing is
Speaker 3: like Nicholas Cage trying to find the Declaration.
Speaker 2: Of This is your national treasure?
Speaker 3: Got it?
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I.
Speaker 3: This is this is my this is my familiar or
Speaker 3: a family or treasure whatever.
Speaker 2: Felt's your vout.
Speaker 3: Okay, So I haven't I haven't talked.
Speaker 2: No, No, keep going please, No, I haven't asked.
Speaker 3: My grandmother yet. But I mean I wouldn't be surprised
Speaker 3: if she is. She's she's all over the place, you know,
Speaker 3: and she's very active sexually, So I maybe maybe my
Speaker 3: grandmother is my next step to ask her.
Speaker 2: But yeah, what is it that that leads you to
Speaker 2: believe that your grandmother is very active sexually? How do
Speaker 2: you know that.
Speaker 3: She's just always kind of hopping around from boyfriend to
Speaker 3: boyfriend to get uh, you know, like she's been married
Speaker 3: six times and the grandpa or her husband whenever I
Speaker 3: growing up, had a porno DVD that my mother found
Speaker 3: called Daddy her Mommy loves Pooh. Ever since then, we've
Speaker 3: always just kind of been prying at her how big
Speaker 3: her original husband's cock was, so, I mean, it's always
Speaker 3: just been kind of like a joke. But also it's
Speaker 3: always been very clear that she does get it. My
Speaker 3: my dad's mother, we found a pair of edible panties
Speaker 3: in her garage when we were cleaning it out.
Speaker 2: You know, I feel like your this is your this
Speaker 2: is your h the grandmother that had these edible panties,
Speaker 2: that the same one that you say is very sexually active.
Speaker 3: No oh, God, no no, no. The other one, the one,
Speaker 3: the sugar Daddy, is the one that I believe sexually active.
Speaker 3: I pray to God every day that the grandmother with
Speaker 3: the edible panties, it's not sexual sexually active? I why
Speaker 3: do you?
Speaker 2: Well, well, why do you? I mean, why? Why? Why
Speaker 2: is it such a bad thing that your grandmother is
Speaker 2: sexually active? What don't you your grandmother?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know how old she is. I don't know
Speaker 2: what she did with her life. But you know, in
Speaker 2: her old age, doesn't she deserve to have a good time?
Speaker 3: Not her. See if my other grandmother, if she was
Speaker 3: sexually active, I wouldn't want to know about it, But
Speaker 3: that wouldn't bother I mean, I've always been of your
Speaker 3: parent as long. If my parents been fucking, I don't care.
Speaker 3: A lot of my friends growing up with I don't
Speaker 3: want to I don't want to hear it. I don't
Speaker 3: want to see it. But if it's happening, good for them.
Speaker 3: But you know what, therapy get go. You're right, I
Speaker 3: think that's kind of the point of the podcast. If
Speaker 3: she was sexually active, good for her?
Speaker 2: Good for her? Wouldn't don't don't you want to be
Speaker 2: sexually active when you're how old is she eighty?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: I don't really talk to her about seventy five?
Speaker 2: Don't you want to be sexually active when you're seventy five,
Speaker 2: don't you want to a nice, spry, active body.
Speaker 3: Be pop? Oh, she does not have a spry or
Speaker 3: active body. There's a lot of folds there, a lot
Speaker 3: of crevices to be explored.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I mean back to the original thing. You
Speaker 2: you you said here that you are investigating your family's
Speaker 2: interest in feet. Yeah, and so you're wondering if it's hereditary.
Speaker 3: Very terrified it's hereditary.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well here I have a few things for that.
Speaker 2: First of all, how old your sister twenty five?
Speaker 3: Around there?
Speaker 2: Okay, she's twenty five. It says here you're twenty three.
Speaker 2: So if it were hereditary, I'm not going to pretend
Speaker 2: like I know how how he reads work. But if
Speaker 2: it were hereditary, then you would you would be developing
Speaker 2: in it approximately two years.
Speaker 3: God, I gotta get ready.
Speaker 2: H Do you know what age your father developed his
Speaker 2: feedestial feet?
Speaker 3: No, but he's been with my mom for a long time,
Speaker 3: so it could be kind of a thing where, you know,
Speaker 3: over time, I feel like eventually you're going to have
Speaker 3: to try different stuff out and maybe he was just
Speaker 3: into it.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Again, I'm happy, you know, I mean that
Speaker 2: your father has been I understand why you wouldn't want
Speaker 2: to know about it, but I'm happy for your father
Speaker 2: that he is.
Speaker 3: Uh No, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Him and your mom are continually finding ways to keep
Speaker 2: things interesting in their relationship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, and you know, I think it's a
Speaker 3: thing where nobody wants to know. But my mom did
Speaker 3: get a boob job two months ago, so that's I mean,
Speaker 3: I guess they are keeping it active. Thank God I
Speaker 3: don't have any more kids, because I don't think this.
Speaker 3: You know, this world needs any more people, you know.
Speaker 2: But okay, well let me let me let me hammer
Speaker 2: this last thing and about you with the foot fetish.
Speaker 2: It's not just why, it's you should not be afraid of.
Speaker 2: First of all, I don't and I don't think that
Speaker 2: fee fetishes are hereditary. But even if they are, and
Speaker 2: even if at the age of twenty five you are
Speaker 2: biologically programmed through your DNA that was passed on to
Speaker 2: you from your family to have a foot fresh, even
Speaker 2: if you are, why is that such a bad thing?
Speaker 3: Feet or nast I mean, I just.
Speaker 2: Now, but during two years you're gonna love them.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm afraid of lyle, That's why.
Speaker 2: But if you love them, why are you afraid of that?
Speaker 2: You're saying feet a nasty now. But in two years,
Speaker 2: if what you are saying, what we're hypothesizing here is true,
Speaker 2: you will love them, then you'll just have another thing
Speaker 2: that you love. What's the matter with that?
Speaker 3: So what you're getting at is I don't need to
Speaker 3: be afraid of it. I need to be excited if
Speaker 3: that part of myself does develop.
Speaker 2: I think. So what exactly is there to be afraid of?
Speaker 3: I don't know. Maybe you could get a disease from feet,
Speaker 3: but I'm you know, I shouldn't be afraid of the
Speaker 3: disease here, like you can get wonder.
Speaker 2: People, many many different parts of the body can carry diseases.
Speaker 2: Every other part of a person's body that you may
Speaker 2: be attracted to will will have a disease.
Speaker 3: And to be honest with you, I eat ass So
Speaker 3: I don't feel like it could be any worse than
Speaker 3: an asshole.
Speaker 2: I really can't. I don't think so either, and especial
Speaker 2: because I.
Speaker 3: Do have attracted to them. Man, See, this is why
Speaker 3: this is such a beautiful thing. Is because I was
Speaker 3: terrified of this and you have just made it into
Speaker 3: a beautiful thing. I'm excited to develop a foot fetish.
Speaker 2: You should be dexcited when you're twenty five years old.
Speaker 2: That's a that's it's an interesting time in a person's
Speaker 2: life because you have had enough time to kind of
Speaker 2: develop who you are as a human being, and you
Speaker 2: I feel like you kind of get to a certain
Speaker 2: point where you're like, am I done developing as a person?
Speaker 3: I am?
Speaker 2: I done feeling all that I have? I felt all
Speaker 2: the feelings that exist to me to be felt in
Speaker 2: this universe. And how amazing is it to have the
Speaker 2: answer to that question be no, and to have a
Speaker 2: new thing to feel. I think you should be excited.
Speaker 3: And that's really all the human experience is is going
Speaker 3: through and feeling new things and experiencing new things and
Speaker 3: all sorts of stuff like that.
Speaker 2: So I feel a different person on the phone than
Speaker 2: than when we started.
Speaker 3: I've really changed. I've you know, I will say I've
Speaker 3: always been I've always wanted. I mean, if foot fetish
Speaker 3: just seems so easy. If you look for an actress
Speaker 3: nude or an actor where I don't know what, if
Speaker 3: the listeners are into and you can't find anything. You
Speaker 3: cannot find any ball picks, any ass picks, any tippics.
Speaker 3: But if you look up, good to the life the
Speaker 3: way this.
Speaker 2: Entire phone call. Person in the room with you who
Speaker 2: has been just groaning.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's my fiance. Yeah, that is my my future
Speaker 3: foot love. She will be the one that I'm sucking
Speaker 3: on the toes of.
Speaker 2: Let me let me talk to your fiance really. Let
Speaker 2: me talk to your fiance really quick before we go.
Speaker 2: I want to get her kind of.
Speaker 3: Hey.
Speaker 2: Hey, what's your name?
Speaker 4: My name is Kara.
Speaker 2: How are you doing, Kara?
Speaker 4: I'm pretty good. How are you?
Speaker 2: I'm doing well. Do you have any sort of final
Speaker 2: thoughts on it? Sounds like you've been in the room
Speaker 2: for this entire conversation. I want to know if you
Speaker 2: have any any thoughts on it.
Speaker 4: Well, I'm glad that he feels better about this whole
Speaker 4: foot fetish thing. At the end of the conversation, do.
Speaker 2: You how do you feel about the foot fetish thing?
Speaker 4: I mean, I guess it would be easy, but I
Speaker 4: guess it would be better.
Speaker 5: Than anal.
Speaker 2: Why why why do you say it would be better
Speaker 2: than anal who?
Speaker 5: For so many reasons?
Speaker 4: I mean, just first off, like paineful.
Speaker 1: We've tried it before.
Speaker 5: It's painful.
Speaker 2: It sounds really painful.
Speaker 4: And second off, I just I don't know.
Speaker 5: I don't wanna anything in my butt only.
Speaker 2: Well, what is your name?
Speaker 4: My name is Kara?
Speaker 2: Kara. Oh sorry, I'm horrible, horror, I am horrible with names.
Speaker 2: What do you think of it before? What do you
Speaker 2: think about your fiance just as a human being?
Speaker 4: He's all he's really awesome. He's we've been together for
Speaker 4: seven years and he's always been there for me.
Speaker 2: He's a big seedy that's sweet. I like that. I'm
Speaker 2: glad that we could make this into this thing that
Speaker 2: was a fear of his into something that was nice
Speaker 2: and something for you both to look forward to me Karen,
Speaker 2: you said Kiara like Sarah, but with the sea. Thank
Speaker 2: you for calling Kara, of.
Speaker 4: Course, thank you for accepting our phone call.
Speaker 2: Of course, love a happy ending. You know, it's the
Speaker 2: thing he said about his grandma being sexually active. It's weird.
Speaker 2: You know. The thing with your parents, the thing with
Speaker 2: sex and your family members is you never want You
Speaker 2: want your family members to be happy. You want your
Speaker 2: family members to leave to lead independent lives. You want
Speaker 2: them to be with people that make them happy, and
Speaker 2: in a in a weird way, you do want you
Speaker 2: want your grandmother to have a fulfilling sex life as
Speaker 2: as part of you wanting her to have a fulfilling
Speaker 2: life in general. You just don't want to know about it. Hello,
Speaker 2: Hey is this Ruth?
Speaker 5: This is Ruth.
Speaker 2: What is going on with your Ruth? Oh?
Speaker 4: Nothing much, just painting and was watching your stream?
Speaker 2: Send and Rob all my love quite frankly, Well, Ruth,
Speaker 2: what is going on with you? Actually? It says here,
Speaker 2: what's going on with you? Let me just say it.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it. Ruth twenty two years old from
Speaker 2: Nebraska says, you have a severe fear of pooping.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if I can. Like, no,
Speaker 4: this is like, honestly as real as it gets. And
Speaker 4: I've been to a therapist about it. I've been to
Speaker 4: a doctor about it. This is kind of like my
Speaker 4: last stitch effort. But so a little bit ago, I.
Speaker 2: Was on.
Speaker 4: I was on the type of birth control that you
Speaker 4: like put in your arm, which made me get super
Speaker 4: sick all the time. And I don't know if I
Speaker 4: can classify this as a phobia, but yeah, no, so
Speaker 4: I was I had this. It's like the implant that
Speaker 4: goes inside your arm as birth control, and it just
Speaker 4: made me sick every single day. And I had it
Speaker 4: for about like six months, and then I took it out.
Speaker 4: And then after that, I, you know, I was still
Speaker 4: afraid to like go to the bathroom. I was still afraid.
Speaker 4: It's like.
Speaker 1: To you know, poop.
Speaker 4: It's it's still it's so embarrassing to say, but it, yeah,
Speaker 4: I was afraid to poop. And now what were a
Speaker 4: year and a half after that, and every time I
Speaker 4: have to use the restroom, I just freak out, like
Speaker 4: I have a I start sweating, I sometimes start crying.
Speaker 4: I sometimes have to have my fiance like literally hold
Speaker 4: my hand. I don't know what to do about it, all.
Speaker 2: Right, So I want to know off the bat what
Speaker 2: your therapist told you you should do about this.
Speaker 4: My therapist told me that I could have had trauma
Speaker 4: from it, because I don't know. I don't think it's drama.
Speaker 4: I think she basically just gave me some like coping
Speaker 4: mechanisms for panic attacks and then just told me to like,
Speaker 4: you know, breathe through it, remind yourself that like you're okay,
Speaker 4: like all of that stuff, and I tried that stuff,
Speaker 4: you know, it didn't hurt, but just didn't work. And
Speaker 4: then my doctor told me or he prescribes them, like
Speaker 4: you know, like relax and stuff, and he told me
Speaker 4: that maybe that would make you know, the process easier.
Speaker 4: But after that I found out it was literally just
Speaker 4: the act of like feeling it, like feeling.
Speaker 2: Your therapist told you that there might be some trauma there.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, because okay, so I've been in therapy for
Speaker 4: a lot of years. I think therapy is healthy for anybody.
Speaker 4: But apparently, like one person can stub their toe when
Speaker 4: like they're six years old and have the worst trauma
Speaker 4: from it, and then another person you know, can stub
Speaker 4: their toe and you know, not feel anything. Trauma can
Speaker 4: happen like at weird different places for brains.
Speaker 2: Oh what is trau? Because we that that word comes
Speaker 2: up as trauma? Because I think if trauma is like,
Speaker 2: you know, you were taking a ship and your mom
Speaker 2: came in when you were seven, she like beat you up.
Speaker 2: Like that's why I think when you think, but you're like,
Speaker 2: apparently if you stub your toe, is that trauma? Like
Speaker 2: what is trauma?
Speaker 4: So do you want like I don't know like a
Speaker 4: like a like a like a scientific definition or do
Speaker 4: you just definitely not don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I have the if I will
Speaker 2: understand a single word of any scientific definition of anything.
Speaker 2: But okay, so so trauma. You might have trauma from pooping.
Speaker 2: What do you think that trauma is? Like when you
Speaker 2: were younger, you had a bad experience pooping?
Speaker 4: Well, okay, so really dive into this. I guess I've
Speaker 4: always had, like you know, bowel movement issues, even from
Speaker 4: a kid.
Speaker 1: I like had to.
Speaker 4: Go through procedures to get this done. I gotta fix.
Speaker 4: And then my boyfriend at the time of when I
Speaker 4: got this birth control, he was very supportive of it,
Speaker 4: but he just like very supportive of it, and he
Speaker 4: just didn't make it a good experience for me. But
Speaker 4: I had it in it, like in me, the birth control,
Speaker 4: So maybe that played a factor. I I really couldn't
Speaker 4: tell you or else, like I wouldn't be on this goal.
Speaker 4: But something, something's gotta change, something's gotta work, because every
Speaker 4: time I got a poop, it's like all whole process
Speaker 4: of like panic. It takes two hours.
Speaker 2: Oh it takes two hours. So I mean, dude, how
Speaker 2: often did how many times I didy poop.
Speaker 4: Probably like I probably only poop like two or three
Speaker 4: times a week, which I don't think is healthy.
Speaker 2: But do you do that actively because you don't want
Speaker 2: to deal with all the you know, panicky ship that
Speaker 2: you have to go through.
Speaker 4: Not even that I just don't have much of an
Speaker 4: appetite like in general.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Well the doctor say, yeah, no, he just he said
Speaker 4: it's a psychological thing. And then he's like, here's some
Speaker 4: mirror relaxed you.
Speaker 2: Know my relexis it's a laxative, right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, so like you know, stopt and stools. So
Speaker 4: maybe like this year was like of me like having
Speaker 4: like constipation issues. He's like, maybe it comes out. That's
Speaker 4: but a as one might say, it would get better.
Speaker 4: But yeah, that's how I found out. It was just
Speaker 4: like the feeling and the act of doing some thing.
Speaker 2: Okay, what do you think about this exposure therapy? We
Speaker 2: take you to Taco Bell, we load you up on
Speaker 2: a cheesy bean burritos, and then in one day you
Speaker 2: just fucking a whole diarrhea filled day of liquidy posts
Speaker 2: and after a certain point, you adrenaline just gives out
Speaker 2: and you are cured. Has anyone brought this up as
Speaker 2: an idea.
Speaker 4: No, I honestly haven't told anybody about it, about you,
Speaker 4: my fiance, so he has about that. I would a
Speaker 4: heart attack, my fiance.
Speaker 2: You'd have a heart Oh you know, you think you'd
Speaker 2: have a heart attack if you like had to like
Speaker 2: diarrhea the entire day.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, like if like if diaryeta came out
Speaker 4: of me for that long of it, like extensive of time,
Speaker 4: like and I can't handle like one second of it,
Speaker 4: I'd be afraid of having like a fucking aneurysm in
Speaker 4: my brain or something. I don't know if that works
Speaker 4: like that.
Speaker 2: But man, I you know I can't. I'm having a
Speaker 2: hard time empathizing because I I don't know if you
Speaker 2: ever had diarrhea, But having diarrhea it almost feels a
Speaker 2: little good because like there's I mean you probably you
Speaker 2: probably can't because you've made this stuff makes you have
Speaker 2: a panic attack, But expelling when you have diarrhea in you,
Speaker 2: it feels amazing to expel it from your body.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Now your people talk about like, oh my gosh, I
Speaker 4: just have like the best poop in my life or
Speaker 4: like the best ship of my life, like we all
Speaker 4: like you're really full, and you're like you're just you
Speaker 4: just gotta like get back to the normal go to Okay?
Speaker 4: Is that not normal?
Speaker 2: What does your husband say you're about to or your fiance?
Speaker 2: What was it you were at to just tell us what?
Speaker 2: He what his way in on this was.
Speaker 4: He honestly doesn't say much. He just like holds He's
Speaker 4: a sweetheart, and he just holds my hand through it
Speaker 4: and it's just like you're gonna be okay, and like
Speaker 4: it's like birth or something like it's ridiculous and I'm so.
Speaker 2: That's a good guy. I want somebody to hold my
Speaker 2: hand through my shits.
Speaker 4: Honestly, honestly, it's it's not ideal, but if it were
Speaker 4: to happen, I'm lucky to have him. He hasn't. He
Speaker 4: hasn't here with any ideas. I think it's just more
Speaker 4: of like I just gotta like like top it out.
Speaker 4: I guess I don't know, But I also just want
Speaker 4: like something to help me.
Speaker 1: I don't know how.
Speaker 2: You see.
Speaker 4: That's fine.
Speaker 1: I'm good with that.
Speaker 2: How are you with sharks? You ever shared yourself.
Speaker 4: In my sleep? Want?
Speaker 2: Okay? What about what about P S P A A
Speaker 2: a factor here.
Speaker 4: No, he's fine. I love it.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Interesting. So the doctor hasn't been able to help.
Speaker 2: The therapist has it has kind of helped.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like just kind of told me that, like you're
Speaker 4: just gonna need to cope through it. I was telling
Speaker 4: the screen collar about sometimes like I bring like like
Speaker 4: stim toys if you know those are like you like
Speaker 4: little stress balls, or like the thing that you need.
Speaker 2: A fidget spinner every time you take a shit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly, no, it's one of those things. And like
Speaker 4: that sounds so funny, but like I hate that it's
Speaker 4: my reality. But yeah, so sometimes I just like distract myself.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I literally talk to myself like, hey, all you're
Speaker 4: doing is like you're doing what everyone else in this
Speaker 4: world has to do, and they get through it. You're
Speaker 4: gonna be okay, But to me, it feels like death.
Speaker 2: M Have you have you had a like a panic
Speaker 2: attack like this in a public restroom, because that sounds
Speaker 2: like an absolute nightmare.
Speaker 1: Yes, it is.
Speaker 4: I avoid public restrooms that all.
Speaker 2: Cost mm hmm. Okay, so the therapist told you to
Speaker 2: just gave you some Now, the doctor gave you the
Speaker 2: mirror lax. The therapist gave you some breathing exercises and
Speaker 2: then yes, but there's no cure as far as you know.
Speaker 4: I mean, like you said, exposure therapy.
Speaker 2: But like, there's the taco bell idea that's on the table.
Speaker 4: It is on the table. But what if taco bell
Speaker 4: doesn't make me sick? Because I eat taco bell and
Speaker 4: I kind of like it, so it it made me
Speaker 4: like taco hell, I hear a bunch like I don't
Speaker 4: doesn't make you.
Speaker 2: Eat You're afraid you have panic attacks every time you
Speaker 2: ship and you eat taco bell.
Speaker 4: I do because it's never really I feel like it
Speaker 4: might be potentially, but to me, it's just like that's
Speaker 4: a good fake taco.
Speaker 2: Hmm. Well, what's your name again? Ruth? Ruth? If anything,
Speaker 2: if anything, let this, Uh would you call it an illness?
Speaker 2: Would you call it a what would you call this.
Speaker 4: A phobia?
Speaker 2: I think let this, let this poop phobia.
Speaker 1: Be.
Speaker 2: If anything, if anything, if we could, because I like
Speaker 2: to look at things in a positive way, if we
Speaker 2: could look at this in a positive way, it is
Speaker 2: maybe the greatest litmus test you could possibly give. Litmus test,
Speaker 2: you know what litmus test is? I don't fuck I
Speaker 2: don't know how to describe it, but it's like a
Speaker 2: it's like a test. Let it. Let this be a
Speaker 2: great litmus test to any potential partner that you know
Speaker 2: he is truly the one for you. If if this
Speaker 2: could be any sort of positive thing, because you now
Speaker 2: know that you know if your if your fiance is
Speaker 2: in the in the bathroom with you, holding your hand
Speaker 2: while you're shitting, he is, He's the one, and know
Speaker 2: that with with utmost confidence, the marriage is gonna work out.
Speaker 2: So if this can be a positive in any way,
Speaker 2: let it be that.
Speaker 4: And you're saying like, if potentially it does not work
Speaker 4: out for some reason and I acquire another boyfriend, if
Speaker 4: they don't hold my hand when I poop like.
Speaker 2: That, they don't hold you know, if you if you
Speaker 2: go back into the dating market and guys are not
Speaker 2: willing to sit in the bathroom with you and hold
Speaker 2: your hand while you poop, they're not the one.
Speaker 4: I feel like that's a rare breed of men. It
Speaker 4: would sit there and you got one, Yeah, and I didn't. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I wasn't even looking for that specific quality in a man.
Speaker 2: But yes, God is good and Jesus is okay to Ruth,
Speaker 2: anything else you want to say to the people of
Speaker 2: the computer before we go.
Speaker 4: It's okay to have poop phobias. You're not alone. If
Speaker 4: anyone is watching this, honestly, if I'm the only one
Speaker 4: that I've heard of, so I.
Speaker 2: Bet someone is send us an email you have poop phobia.
Speaker 2: Well you cut out of bunch just now, but I
Speaker 2: kind of I kind of got the gist of what
Speaker 2: you were trying to say, Ruth, thank you very much
Speaker 2: for calling.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, have a good night.
Speaker 2: You have a good She cut out at the end.
Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't cut out. There's a thing on
Speaker 2: this fucking podcast where I cut off people when they're
Speaker 2: saying good night. But that was it that she cut
Speaker 2: off herself. That was a phone line thing, all right.
Speaker 2: Never goes on the line thinking your phone calls every night.
Speaker 2: The rebacon goes to what it hide just teaching you
Speaker 2: aloud in the middle of your life.
Speaker 3: But he's not really an expert.