1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:00,240 Speaker 1: A. 2 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:01,280 Speaker 2: Hi, is this Marissa? 3 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:02,679 Speaker 1: Yes? 4 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 2: How are you doing Marissa? 5 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,440 Speaker 1: I'm doing good? 6 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:12,280 Speaker 2: How are you Marissa? It says here that you're twenty 7 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:17,120 Speaker 2: seven years old from California. It says that you lied 8 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:21,600 Speaker 2: to a bunch of people that your mom died and 9 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 2: that and then you moved away and then now you 10 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 2: have to face the people that you lied to. 11 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:34,080 Speaker 1: Is this the gay? 12 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 2: This is Marisa? 13 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 3: Where? 14 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 2: How did you? 15 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: What? 16 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,160 Speaker 2: Marissa? Why did you lie to a bunch of people 17 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,000 Speaker 2: that your mom died? Let's start there. 18 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: Okay, So I lied to begin with because I just 19 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,959 Speaker 1: have a very I had a very tumultuous, just kind 20 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: of crazy upbringing and a rough childhood, so to speak, 21 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 1: and my mom wasn't in my life, and it gets 22 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 1: kind of exhausting having to answer people, you know, where's 23 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 1: your mom? What happened? Why aren't you guys on good terms? 24 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 1: And I made up the shitty lie that she passed 25 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,360 Speaker 1: away and I had died to avoid having to answer 26 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 1: any more questions about my mom and kind of having 27 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,240 Speaker 1: to bring up trauma for me over and over again. 28 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: And you know, I told this to everybody that I 29 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:38,360 Speaker 1: worked with, my roommates, everyone, and my roommate even knew her. 30 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 1: We were friends for like over a decade, and he 31 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:45,040 Speaker 1: first hand knew her. And I ended up leaving the job. 32 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 1: A couple of years later. We moved to southern California 33 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: and I am reconnecting with my mom and the relationship 34 00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 1: is starting to thrive again, and my partner and I 35 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:08,080 Speaker 1: we are kind of moving towards marriage, and I brought 36 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: up the discussion of what's gonna happen if my mom 37 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 1: comes to our wedding and all these people that I'm 38 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:25,920 Speaker 1: friends with and I love I want at the wedding also, 39 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 1: and they're gonna come face to face with my life. 40 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a pretty funny scenario. So tell me 41 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 2: what happened to all right, So you had to kind 42 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,239 Speaker 2: of shit a relationship with your mom. She wasn't there, 43 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 2: so you didn't feel like explaining it to people, so 44 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 2: you just told them all she died, which is understandable. 45 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,960 Speaker 2: I'll say that what happened to make it so that 46 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 2: you guys repair to your relationship later on. 47 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 1: I I've just done a lot of growing. I've looked 48 00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,320 Speaker 1: into myself a lot, and you know, is it worth 49 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 1: hanging on to all this negative feelings towards her, is 50 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,160 Speaker 1: it worth kind of living in the past still, just 51 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,679 Speaker 1: by being so angry at her? And you know, I 52 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,760 Speaker 1: never even knew her aside from you know, the drug 53 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: usage and all of that. So I just have been 54 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: working on myself a lot these last couple of years, 55 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 1: especially since we moved to southern California, and trying to 56 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:34,000 Speaker 1: seek what's just peep inside of myself. And so I 57 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:39,320 Speaker 1: found sure my mom and I messaged her on Facebook 58 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 1: and I told her that I had basically forgiven her, 59 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 1: and I found that in myself I had forgiven her. 60 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: And I told her I don't need her to respond anything. 61 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: I just want her to know that she's okay with me, 62 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 1: and I'm okay with her, and if we're not on 63 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: each other's life, that's fine. I just I didn't want 64 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:04,640 Speaker 1: could die knowing that my mom thinks I hated her, 65 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: and I don't hate her. I just realized she you know, 66 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: she has a lot of trauma. She made a lot 67 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 1: of shitty decisions and a lot of bad decisions that 68 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 1: ultimately affected me and my childhood. And I just I 69 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 1: got over that. I was ready to forgive her. So 70 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:23,479 Speaker 1: now she's present and we've been talking to each other 71 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 1: for the last seven or eight months now, and things 72 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 1: have been really great, and she's changed into a whole 73 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,839 Speaker 1: other person and I really admire her. 74 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,720 Speaker 4: And she's just. 75 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,160 Speaker 1: Come a long way since all of the drug usage 76 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: and all of just the narcissistic abuse, and I'm proud 77 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 1: of her, and so I'm happy to, you know, tell 78 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 1: my partner, Hey, we could potentially have my mom at 79 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,599 Speaker 1: my wedding or our wedding. And I never thought that 80 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:54,920 Speaker 1: was possible, but holy shit, we have. 81 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 5: A whole nother problem. 82 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:57,800 Speaker 1: Everyone thinks she's dead. 83 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:02,760 Speaker 2: No, okay, So first of all, first of all, that's 84 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:03,960 Speaker 2: a that's an amazing story. 85 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:04,200 Speaker 3: To me. 86 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 2: That's pretty wild. Uh, I don't know, I mean, don't 87 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,919 Speaker 2: have to get into the details of of what it 88 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 2: was like growing up with your mom or any of 89 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 2: that stuff. But for you to, you know, now that 90 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 2: you're older, summon the forgiveness to reach out to your 91 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,760 Speaker 2: mom and go, we're cool, and then after that, for 92 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 2: your mom to reveal herself to you as a whole 93 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 2: other person who you enjoy being around, who you say 94 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 2: you admire, I mean, that's that's pretty that's pretty sweet. 95 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 2: That's pretty wild to me. Uh, and and and yeah, 96 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,920 Speaker 2: it's probably she was on the. 97 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,600 Speaker 1: East coast, so we we won't have a chance to 98 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 1: kind of like be in person together. So it makes 99 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,479 Speaker 1: rekindling the relationship a lot easier. I don't have to 100 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 1: fake her, but I do feel like shit, obviously that 101 00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:59,800 Speaker 1: I've fucking made this huge lie up about my mom 102 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:02,479 Speaker 1: and now here she is. I never thought that she 103 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: would ever be back in my life and I'm. 104 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 5: Shitty. 105 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:10,040 Speaker 2: No, Marissa, you don't have shat your pants. And here's why. 106 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:17,479 Speaker 2: The Rissa, the truth of this whole thing is perfectly 107 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:21,120 Speaker 2: understandable to people, like tell like I mean, I mean, 108 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,640 Speaker 2: your only problem, Your only problem is that it's a 109 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 2: long ish story. But dude, if anyone asks Marissa, tell 110 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 2: them the truth, they'll understand the truth. Like, here's the truth. 111 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,480 Speaker 2: Your mom was shitty when you were growing up, and 112 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 2: you resented her for a while, and so to you, 113 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,279 Speaker 2: she pretty much was dead. She was out of your life, 114 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,520 Speaker 2: and you didn't want to have to explain to people 115 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 2: the complexities of the relationship. She wasn't in your life, 116 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 2: so you told them that she was dead. And that's like, 117 00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 2: I think most people will understand that. You know, you 118 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 2: didn't lie for some weird, stupid reason like you wanted 119 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 2: to gain sympathy or anything like that. You lied for 120 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,920 Speaker 2: a understandable reason. And like I said to you, she 121 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:15,960 Speaker 2: pretty much was dead. And then why is she at 122 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 2: your wedding? Well, now you have this amazing story of 123 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 2: you summoned the courage to forgive her. She revealed herself 124 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 2: to you as changed. Now you are blossoming a new relationship, 125 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 2: and I think people will find that truth to be 126 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 2: kind of beautiful. So I don't think you need to 127 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 2: lie about any of this stuff. I think that the 128 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:39,240 Speaker 2: truth is acceptable, So you don't need to be shitting 129 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: your pants. Your only problem is that it will take 130 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 2: you a little bit to explain. But you totally don't 131 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:45,480 Speaker 2: need to shoo your pants over this. 132 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess you're right, because I mean, I loved 133 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 1: everybody I worked with and. 134 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:58,280 Speaker 5: That I did tell this fallacy too. But you know, 135 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 5: I don't not all of them in my life, just 136 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,000 Speaker 5: you know, the ones that matter to me. 137 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,080 Speaker 1: But it's just so it's. 138 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 5: A it's a lot I guess to hold. You know, 139 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 5: I don't want anything bad to happen to my mom 140 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,040 Speaker 5: because I made. 141 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,559 Speaker 3: Up this shitty lie. 142 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 5: But I mean, I guess I could only hope. 143 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:21,960 Speaker 1: That my friends would understand that, like what you said, 144 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,160 Speaker 1: I I did it to protect myself. 145 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,679 Speaker 2: I think they will. I think if they're good friends, 146 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 2: they will. I don't think you and I want to 147 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 2: reframe your if, like if we could. I'm not a 148 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 2: real therapist, but let's do this. You you have this 149 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,440 Speaker 2: idea of this lie as like a shitty thing, or 150 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 2: that like it was somehow immoral of you to do. 151 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 2: Is that true? 152 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:50,080 Speaker 3: Yeah? 153 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, I have a lot of guilt about this 154 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 1: lie I've made. 155 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 2: I don't think you should be guilty about this lie. 156 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 2: I think you should reframe it. I think you should 157 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 2: cut yourself some slegh because it's totally understandable why you 158 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,560 Speaker 2: you said this, And I look, I don't know some 159 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 2: people could even argue it's not a lie. I mean, 160 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:14,040 Speaker 2: maybe here's the here's the sort of argument why why 161 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 2: it's not a lie? Because she was out of your life. 162 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:19,520 Speaker 2: She's practically dead to you. She didn't exist. I mean, 163 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,319 Speaker 2: she was not literally dead, but she's practically dead to you. 164 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 2: She didn't exist in your life. Yeah, you didn't feel 165 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:32,920 Speaker 2: like telling acquaintances the whole long story of all this 166 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 2: shit that you didn't want to revisit, and so you 167 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,280 Speaker 2: told them she was dead. You don't owe these people 168 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:47,800 Speaker 2: this long explanation of the literal truth. And every person 169 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 2: who has any amount of you know, empathy for you 170 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,320 Speaker 2: or considers you their friend, will be able to understand that. 171 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,959 Speaker 2: I really do think so. And I don't think you 172 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 2: should feel guilty about about tell people earlier that your 173 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 2: mom was dead. I think if anything, I mean, I mean, look, 174 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:10,000 Speaker 2: to me, this is a funny story. I know it's 175 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 2: I know, I know it's I know. It like doesn't 176 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 2: feel like that because there's was a lot of pain 177 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 2: in there, but it's it's a little funny to me 178 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:21,960 Speaker 2: because it also ends in a happy and nice way. 179 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:26,439 Speaker 2: Now you've had this beautiful relationship with uh uh, your mom. 180 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,840 Speaker 2: There's a lot of healing, it sounds uh the fact 181 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,600 Speaker 2: that you admire her now and that you're forming this 182 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:35,240 Speaker 2: new land and you're inviting her to your wedding, like 183 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:40,960 Speaker 2: everything is is like working out like a cool, positive way. 184 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,840 Speaker 2: And these feelings of guilt they have, I don't they 185 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,320 Speaker 2: don't have a place in this story. 186 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 3: To me. 187 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,079 Speaker 2: This just feels like a kind of a funny story 188 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:49,320 Speaker 2: to me. 189 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,959 Speaker 1: Okay, old, oh my god, a lot of funny stories 190 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: about my trauma. 191 00:10:55,679 --> 00:11:01,440 Speaker 2: Lyle, Well, well, I mean, I really do, I really 192 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 2: do want you to not feel guilty about this. And 193 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,760 Speaker 2: I'm not reading the chat, but I think a lot 194 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,199 Speaker 2: of people I'm. 195 00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:11,520 Speaker 1: Telling you better about it. You're communicating it very well, 196 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:15,680 Speaker 1: and I appreciate you listening to it. It's you know, 197 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: like I said, I've carried it a lot. You know, 198 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 1: it's been years since I told anybody about this. You know, 199 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 1: this was back in I don't know twenty nineteen, twenty 200 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:33,720 Speaker 1: eighteen that I started telling people this, And yeah, I 201 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,360 Speaker 1: think you're right. I just felt like it was a 202 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 1: guilty It was just a part of my life I 203 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,040 Speaker 1: didn't want to experience anymore because she wasn't a part 204 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 1: of it. Now she's back, And if anyone has to 205 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,439 Speaker 1: ask any questions, I just tell them the truth, guilt free. 206 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,679 Speaker 2: Tell you please, please, please tell them the truth guilt free. 207 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 2: Because the truth. Anyone listening to this any like the 208 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 2: truth of this story. You don't have to lie anymore, 209 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 2: like this is the truth of this story is understandable 210 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:11,440 Speaker 2: to anyone who has any empathy for you. 211 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: You right lyle fucking get forever. 212 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,240 Speaker 2: I want to ask real quick before we go, what 213 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,560 Speaker 2: can you tell me where the guilt is like coming from? 214 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 2: Like what's the crux of the guilt. Are you guilty? 215 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 2: Like who do you feel like you're hurting with this lie? 216 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 2: You know, you don't oh your work, acquaintances, the literal 217 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 2: truth of anything, Like where do you feel like this 218 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 2: guilt is coming from? 219 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,839 Speaker 1: I mean, maybe my I do just feel bad my mom. 220 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,000 Speaker 1: You know, she might be upset about that, But I 221 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 1: don't think that's something that I would ever tell my mom. 222 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: I kind of even have in a way that I've 223 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:58,120 Speaker 1: I've told her kind of blatantly and straight up to 224 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 1: that I kind of killed her off in a sense. 225 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 1: And I don't talk about her and I don't think 226 00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 1: about her, And you know, it's really just kind of 227 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 1: knowing that I lied about something that some people would 228 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,679 Speaker 1: consider to be really serious. 229 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 2: M hmm. 230 00:13:16,679 --> 00:13:19,280 Speaker 1: That's kind of it, just knowing that I lied. You know, 231 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,560 Speaker 1: I'm really big on honesty overall. I'm a little too 232 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: honest up tons, But just knowing that that is a 233 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:31,320 Speaker 1: lie that occurred, and that it's kind of a big one, 234 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 1: and that's that's kind of it. 235 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 2: I think if you're at a point with your mom 236 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 2: where you're repairing the relationship, I think, so your mom 237 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 2: doesn't know that you told everyone. 238 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 3: She was dead. 239 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:48,920 Speaker 1: No, she knows that I have killed her off in 240 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:52,200 Speaker 1: a way, but she thinks that that's kind of you know, 241 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 1: between being myself and I not between me myself and 242 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,320 Speaker 1: my co workers in my old roommate. 243 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 3: You know. But that's a lot. 244 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 1: I'm sure. 245 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 2: Okay, I'll say this. I think if you don't, you know, 246 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,560 Speaker 2: I obviously you don't have to do anything. But if 247 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:11,679 Speaker 2: you were to tell your mom that you told every 248 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:15,960 Speaker 2: when she was dead, I don't think that's a horrible 249 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 2: thing because your mom, like in this process of rebuilding 250 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:29,400 Speaker 2: your relationship, when you're telling her the truth of hey, 251 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,440 Speaker 2: you did all these things and they were fucked up, 252 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 2: and so I told her when you were dead and 253 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 2: like that and that's the truth. Like part of the 254 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 2: healing process should be her accepting that truth. And I 255 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,880 Speaker 2: don't again, I don't. I don't know. I don't know 256 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,560 Speaker 2: a whole lot about your relationship with her or where 257 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,280 Speaker 2: it is right now. 258 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:47,960 Speaker 3: But. 259 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:53,640 Speaker 2: I feel like if it's in a good place, she 260 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 2: should be able to accept that truth. 261 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, well she's coming to is it my partner and 262 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,280 Speaker 1: I in about two weeks, so uh, maybe that'll be 263 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: a good time to tell. 264 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 2: Her, beautiful what kind of what kind of food are 265 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 2: we getting at this wedding? Will there be a chocolate fountain? 266 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:12,520 Speaker 2: Will there be mac and cheese? 267 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 1: I've talked multiple times for my partner about this. I 268 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 1: desperately want pizza at my wedding. It's just a kind 269 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,280 Speaker 1: of bitch that I am pizza forever. 270 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 2: Can you tell me or what kind of is it? Like? 271 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,840 Speaker 2: Are you going to get? Yeah, doude, tell well what 272 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 2: kind of pizza? Is this like from a from a 273 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,360 Speaker 2: name brand pizza joint or is this like a catering 274 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:34,640 Speaker 2: company's pizza option? 275 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 1: Well, I would prefer name brand. 276 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:39,960 Speaker 3: Uh. 277 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 1: If anything Mod pizza, shout out Mod? 278 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,280 Speaker 2: What kind of a Mod pizza? Can we get? A 279 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:50,920 Speaker 2: We need a Mod pizza sponsorship for your wedding. I 280 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 2: don't know how we can get that going, but if 281 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:53,160 Speaker 2: anyone listens to. 282 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:58,320 Speaker 1: This, absolutely sponsor my wedding because I worked there for 283 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 1: like almost four years, Well that would be amazing. 284 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 2: Marsa, get yourself some goddamn Mod pizza at your wedding, 285 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 2: Mazel tav on the marriage, and thank you very much 286 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 2: for sharing all this with us. 287 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 5: Thank you lyle Gek forever. 288 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 1: I love you, buddy. 289 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:19,080 Speaker 2: Thanks versa, have a good night. Well that was fucking fascinating. 290 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 2: I I really do feel like that was that to 291 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 2: me is it is a funny story. It's like, like 292 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:30,200 Speaker 2: I know that the background of it, there's like a 293 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:35,560 Speaker 2: lot of fucked up feelings, but it's it's like, I 294 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 2: don't know, it's a little funny. You told everyone that 295 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,920 Speaker 2: your mom is dead, and then you repaired your relationship, 296 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 2: and now she's coming back to your wedding. Like when 297 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:51,360 Speaker 2: you tell this, like these these things that in the 298 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,960 Speaker 2: moment of them have these like you know, you got 299 00:16:55,040 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 2: guilt and you got uh shame or whatever else feelings 300 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,520 Speaker 2: are going on. But when you tell that story, when 301 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:07,439 Speaker 2: you tell the whole of that story in a retrospective 302 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 2: and the truth of it, it's a good story. It's 303 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 2: kind of a beautiful story that they were able to 304 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 2: repair their relationship after all this nonsense, and she's at 305 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 2: the wedding and she's alive. It's got a good ending 306 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,680 Speaker 2: to it. So I don't think she should be afraid 307 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:24,960 Speaker 2: of it. 308 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,640 Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, Hello, how are you doing. 309 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,400 Speaker 2: I'm hanging out. I'm being a gecko on the computer. 310 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,120 Speaker 2: How are you? 311 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 3: You know, just chilling? You a hobby? 312 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 2: I actually don't know how. I've never talked to you 313 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 2: before in my life. 314 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,880 Speaker 3: I was about to say, but please tell me how 315 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:50,159 Speaker 3: you be. 316 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,159 Speaker 2: I want to that's why we're on the phone. Hears too, 317 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:53,080 Speaker 2: I want to know how you be. 318 00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 3: I'll be pretty good, you know, I'm just chilling. You know, 319 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 3: I got today off work. You know, this great holiday, 320 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:04,000 Speaker 3: you know, if you're as white male, great holiday. So 321 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:04,840 Speaker 3: you know pretty good? 322 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:12,639 Speaker 2: Sure? Okay, well maze, tell me what you you wanted 323 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 2: to talk about today. 324 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:21,119 Speaker 3: So I'm I'm terrified. I've always found humor in people 325 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 3: being in defeat. And then I was talking to my 326 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 3: dad the other day and he was a little tipsy 327 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,200 Speaker 3: and he admitted to me that he was in defeat. 328 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,439 Speaker 3: So naturally, what do you do? You you you you 329 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,399 Speaker 3: go talk to your siblings and see, I. 330 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,880 Speaker 2: Thought you said you found humor in people being in defeat, 331 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:50,880 Speaker 2: like like like like to okay, you're you're saying in two. 332 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:57,639 Speaker 3: Feet in space to space feet period. 333 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 2: I think into is one word. 334 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 3: Though, bro I went to I went to school in Alabama. 335 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 3: My grammar is not great. I'm not good with words 336 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,680 Speaker 3: or maths, but you know, I do. I do my best. 337 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 2: Okay, I respect that. 338 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 3: But yeah, So I went and talked to my sister, 339 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:22,879 Speaker 3: and my sister told me that she finds people's She 340 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:27,840 Speaker 3: is aesthetically into people's arches. And I am curious if 341 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:31,000 Speaker 3: that means that. Do you think she is in defeat? 342 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,439 Speaker 3: Is in defeat? And if so, do you think that 343 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,160 Speaker 3: is an hereditary thing? 344 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,720 Speaker 2: Interesting? So your father drunkenly told you that he is 345 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:44,760 Speaker 2: a foot fetish, and then you started asking your siblings 346 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:47,400 Speaker 2: about whether or not they have foot fetishes. 347 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:52,119 Speaker 3: Even worse, my father said he is into a bunch 348 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 3: of stuff. He didn't specify, but he said he's into 349 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 3: a bunch of different things. And I don't really want 350 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,240 Speaker 3: to know what that means. 351 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 2: Okay, I would also not want to know what that 352 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:08,400 Speaker 2: means if my father told me that. And why how 353 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 2: did you start this conversation with your sister again? I 354 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 2: feel like I glossed over that. 355 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 3: I just asked her if I was in feed I 356 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,879 Speaker 3: played a lot of online video games, and my first 357 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,120 Speaker 3: question is people, If people can send me feet picks, 358 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,840 Speaker 3: because that's that's it's funny. It gets the other team 359 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:27,200 Speaker 3: on their toes. So I just naturally was like, hey, 360 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 3: like are you are you in defeat? And she said, 361 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 3: well no, but I find people's arches aesthetically pleasing. 362 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, so now you know that about your sister. 363 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,440 Speaker 2: You could have stopped into your family's foot fetish right 364 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,640 Speaker 2: at your dad. Well you chose to investigate further into 365 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 2: your sister. 366 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 3: Have you ever seen national treasure? 367 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,359 Speaker 2: With Nicholas Cage, I have not seen nationalist treasure. 368 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:58,040 Speaker 3: You haven't seen natural national treasure? 369 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:02,280 Speaker 2: No, I know it's the Declaration of Independence. I think 370 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,479 Speaker 2: it is right? Is that the same? 371 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:05,480 Speaker 1: Yes? 372 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:09,600 Speaker 3: Yes, My search into my family's foot fetish thing is 373 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,640 Speaker 3: like Nicholas Cage trying to find the Declaration. 374 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,879 Speaker 2: Of This is your national treasure? 375 00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:14,159 Speaker 3: Got it? 376 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:15,760 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I. 377 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 3: This is this is my this is my familiar or 378 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 3: a family or treasure whatever. 379 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 2: Felt's your vout. 380 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,760 Speaker 3: Okay, So I haven't I haven't talked. 381 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:31,680 Speaker 2: No, No, keep going please, No, I haven't asked. 382 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 3: My grandmother yet. But I mean I wouldn't be surprised 383 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,679 Speaker 3: if she is. She's she's all over the place, you know, 384 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 3: and she's very active sexually, So I maybe maybe my 385 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 3: grandmother is my next step to ask her. 386 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:50,879 Speaker 2: But yeah, what is it that that leads you to 387 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,600 Speaker 2: believe that your grandmother is very active sexually? How do 388 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:54,280 Speaker 2: you know that. 389 00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:59,240 Speaker 3: She's just always kind of hopping around from boyfriend to 390 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 3: boyfriend to get uh, you know, like she's been married 391 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 3: six times and the grandpa or her husband whenever I 392 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:10,000 Speaker 3: growing up, had a porno DVD that my mother found 393 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:15,120 Speaker 3: called Daddy her Mommy loves Pooh. Ever since then, we've 394 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:17,160 Speaker 3: always just kind of been prying at her how big 395 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:22,119 Speaker 3: her original husband's cock was, so, I mean, it's always 396 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:24,000 Speaker 3: just been kind of like a joke. But also it's 397 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:28,480 Speaker 3: always been very clear that she does get it. My 398 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,640 Speaker 3: my dad's mother, we found a pair of edible panties 399 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,880 Speaker 3: in her garage when we were cleaning it out. 400 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:40,439 Speaker 2: You know, I feel like your this is your this 401 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,679 Speaker 2: is your h the grandmother that had these edible panties, 402 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,840 Speaker 2: that the same one that you say is very sexually active. 403 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:51,120 Speaker 3: No oh, God, no no, no. The other one, the one, 404 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,520 Speaker 3: the sugar Daddy, is the one that I believe sexually active. 405 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 3: I pray to God every day that the grandmother with 406 00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:00,399 Speaker 3: the edible panties, it's not sexual sexually active? I why 407 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 3: do you? 408 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,840 Speaker 2: Well, well, why do you? I mean, why? Why? Why 409 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,600 Speaker 2: is it such a bad thing that your grandmother is 410 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 2: sexually active? What don't you your grandmother? 411 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:09,000 Speaker 3: I don't know. 412 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 2: I don't know how old she is. I don't know 413 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,560 Speaker 2: what she did with her life. But you know, in 414 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,920 Speaker 2: her old age, doesn't she deserve to have a good time? 415 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:21,439 Speaker 3: Not her. See if my other grandmother, if she was 416 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 3: sexually active, I wouldn't want to know about it, But 417 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 3: that wouldn't bother I mean, I've always been of your 418 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 3: parent as long. If my parents been fucking, I don't care. 419 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 3: A lot of my friends growing up with I don't 420 00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 3: want to I don't want to hear it. I don't 421 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,640 Speaker 3: want to see it. But if it's happening, good for them. 422 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,760 Speaker 3: But you know what, therapy get go. You're right, I 423 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:38,680 Speaker 3: think that's kind of the point of the podcast. If 424 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,360 Speaker 3: she was sexually active, good for her? 425 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,159 Speaker 2: Good for her? Wouldn't don't don't you want to be 426 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:48,160 Speaker 2: sexually active when you're how old is she eighty? 427 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:49,639 Speaker 4: Oh? 428 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,080 Speaker 3: I don't really talk to her about seventy five? 429 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:56,080 Speaker 2: Don't you want to be sexually active when you're seventy five, 430 00:23:56,880 --> 00:24:00,000 Speaker 2: don't you want to a nice, spry, active body. 431 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 3: Be pop? Oh, she does not have a spry or 432 00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,120 Speaker 3: active body. There's a lot of folds there, a lot 433 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 3: of crevices to be explored. 434 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,600 Speaker 2: Okay, So I mean back to the original thing. You 435 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 2: you you said here that you are investigating your family's 436 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:22,240 Speaker 2: interest in feet. Yeah, and so you're wondering if it's hereditary. 437 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,280 Speaker 3: Very terrified it's hereditary. 438 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 2: Okay, Well here I have a few things for that. 439 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:35,280 Speaker 2: First of all, how old your sister twenty five? 440 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:36,000 Speaker 3: Around there? 441 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,440 Speaker 2: Okay, she's twenty five. It says here you're twenty three. 442 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,600 Speaker 2: So if it were hereditary, I'm not going to pretend 443 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 2: like I know how how he reads work. But if 444 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,160 Speaker 2: it were hereditary, then you would you would be developing 445 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,199 Speaker 2: in it approximately two years. 446 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 3: God, I gotta get ready. 447 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,199 Speaker 2: H Do you know what age your father developed his 448 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:00,840 Speaker 2: feedestial feet? 449 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,880 Speaker 3: No, but he's been with my mom for a long time, 450 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,439 Speaker 3: so it could be kind of a thing where, you know, 451 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,680 Speaker 3: over time, I feel like eventually you're going to have 452 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 3: to try different stuff out and maybe he was just 453 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 3: into it. 454 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Again, I'm happy, you know, I mean that 455 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,159 Speaker 2: your father has been I understand why you wouldn't want 456 00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,480 Speaker 2: to know about it, but I'm happy for your father 457 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:19,000 Speaker 2: that he is. 458 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 3: Uh No, I don't know. 459 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:24,240 Speaker 2: Him and your mom are continually finding ways to keep 460 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:26,480 Speaker 2: things interesting in their relationship. 461 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, and you know, I think it's a 462 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,120 Speaker 3: thing where nobody wants to know. But my mom did 463 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:37,680 Speaker 3: get a boob job two months ago, so that's I mean, 464 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,639 Speaker 3: I guess they are keeping it active. Thank God I 465 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,280 Speaker 3: don't have any more kids, because I don't think this. 466 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:46,199 Speaker 3: You know, this world needs any more people, you know. 467 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 2: But okay, well let me let me let me hammer 468 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 2: this last thing and about you with the foot fetish. 469 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:56,919 Speaker 2: It's not just why, it's you should not be afraid of. 470 00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,480 Speaker 2: First of all, I don't and I don't think that 471 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,919 Speaker 2: fee fetishes are hereditary. But even if they are, and 472 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,479 Speaker 2: even if at the age of twenty five you are 473 00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:10,200 Speaker 2: biologically programmed through your DNA that was passed on to 474 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,520 Speaker 2: you from your family to have a foot fresh, even 475 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,800 Speaker 2: if you are, why is that such a bad thing? 476 00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:20,520 Speaker 3: Feet or nast I mean, I just. 477 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 2: Now, but during two years you're gonna love them. 478 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,080 Speaker 3: That's what I'm afraid of lyle, That's why. 479 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,239 Speaker 2: But if you love them, why are you afraid of that? 480 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,040 Speaker 2: You're saying feet a nasty now. But in two years, 481 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 2: if what you are saying, what we're hypothesizing here is true, 482 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,560 Speaker 2: you will love them, then you'll just have another thing 483 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:40,720 Speaker 2: that you love. What's the matter with that? 484 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,359 Speaker 3: So what you're getting at is I don't need to 485 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:46,560 Speaker 3: be afraid of it. I need to be excited if 486 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,560 Speaker 3: that part of myself does develop. 487 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,480 Speaker 2: I think. So what exactly is there to be afraid of? 488 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:56,800 Speaker 3: I don't know. Maybe you could get a disease from feet, 489 00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,240 Speaker 3: but I'm you know, I shouldn't be afraid of the 490 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,680 Speaker 3: disease here, like you can get wonder. 491 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,639 Speaker 2: People, many many different parts of the body can carry diseases. 492 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 2: Every other part of a person's body that you may 493 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 2: be attracted to will will have a disease. 494 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,439 Speaker 3: And to be honest with you, I eat ass So 495 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 3: I don't feel like it could be any worse than 496 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 3: an asshole. 497 00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:20,959 Speaker 2: I really can't. I don't think so either, and especial 498 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:21,639 Speaker 2: because I. 499 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:26,800 Speaker 3: Do have attracted to them. Man, See, this is why 500 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,040 Speaker 3: this is such a beautiful thing. Is because I was 501 00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 3: terrified of this and you have just made it into 502 00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:34,360 Speaker 3: a beautiful thing. I'm excited to develop a foot fetish. 503 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:38,679 Speaker 2: You should be dexcited when you're twenty five years old. 504 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:41,360 Speaker 2: That's a that's it's an interesting time in a person's 505 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 2: life because you have had enough time to kind of 506 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,120 Speaker 2: develop who you are as a human being, and you 507 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 2: I feel like you kind of get to a certain 508 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,879 Speaker 2: point where you're like, am I done developing as a person? 509 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 3: I am? 510 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 2: I done feeling all that I have? I felt all 511 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 2: the feelings that exist to me to be felt in 512 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 2: this universe. And how amazing is it to have the 513 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 2: answer to that question be no, and to have a 514 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,640 Speaker 2: new thing to feel. I think you should be excited. 515 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:11,480 Speaker 3: And that's really all the human experience is is going 516 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:15,959 Speaker 3: through and feeling new things and experiencing new things and 517 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,240 Speaker 3: all sorts of stuff like that. 518 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 2: So I feel a different person on the phone than 519 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:21,919 Speaker 2: than when we started. 520 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:29,080 Speaker 3: I've really changed. I've you know, I will say I've 521 00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 3: always been I've always wanted. I mean, if foot fetish 522 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 3: just seems so easy. If you look for an actress 523 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 3: nude or an actor where I don't know what, if 524 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:41,920 Speaker 3: the listeners are into and you can't find anything. You 525 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 3: cannot find any ball picks, any ass picks, any tippics. 526 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:46,960 Speaker 3: But if you look up, good to the life the 527 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:47,320 Speaker 3: way this. 528 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,320 Speaker 2: Entire phone call. Person in the room with you who 529 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 2: has been just groaning. 530 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:58,480 Speaker 3: Yes, that's my fiance. Yeah, that is my my future 531 00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:04,200 Speaker 3: foot love. She will be the one that I'm sucking 532 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:04,840 Speaker 3: on the toes of. 533 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:07,800 Speaker 2: Let me let me talk to your fiance really. Let 534 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 2: me talk to your fiance really quick before we go. 535 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 2: I want to get her kind of. 536 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 3: Hey. 537 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:17,040 Speaker 2: Hey, what's your name? 538 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:19,920 Speaker 4: My name is Kara. 539 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 2: How are you doing, Kara? 540 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 4: I'm pretty good. How are you? 541 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 2: I'm doing well. Do you have any sort of final 542 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 2: thoughts on it? Sounds like you've been in the room 543 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 2: for this entire conversation. I want to know if you 544 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,440 Speaker 2: have any any thoughts on it. 545 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:46,440 Speaker 4: Well, I'm glad that he feels better about this whole 546 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 4: foot fetish thing. At the end of the conversation, do. 547 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:54,520 Speaker 2: You how do you feel about the foot fetish thing? 548 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 4: I mean, I guess it would be easy, but I 549 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 4: guess it would be better. 550 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 5: Than anal. 551 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:11,040 Speaker 2: Why why why do you say it would be better 552 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:14,560 Speaker 2: than anal who? 553 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:18,760 Speaker 5: For so many reasons? 554 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 4: I mean, just first off, like paineful. 555 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 1: We've tried it before. 556 00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 5: It's painful. 557 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 2: It sounds really painful. 558 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,840 Speaker 4: And second off, I just I don't know. 559 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:41,360 Speaker 5: I don't wanna anything in my butt only. 560 00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:43,640 Speaker 2: Well, what is your name? 561 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 4: My name is Kara? 562 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 2: Kara. Oh sorry, I'm horrible, horror, I am horrible with names. 563 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 2: What do you think of it before? What do you 564 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,000 Speaker 2: think about your fiance just as a human being? 565 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 4: He's all he's really awesome. He's we've been together for 566 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,960 Speaker 4: seven years and he's always been there for me. 567 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 2: He's a big seedy that's sweet. I like that. I'm 568 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,640 Speaker 2: glad that we could make this into this thing that 569 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,640 Speaker 2: was a fear of his into something that was nice 570 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 2: and something for you both to look forward to me Karen, 571 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 2: you said Kiara like Sarah, but with the sea. Thank 572 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:29,920 Speaker 2: you for calling Kara, of. 573 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,440 Speaker 4: Course, thank you for accepting our phone call. 574 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 2: Of course, love a happy ending. You know, it's the 575 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:45,160 Speaker 2: thing he said about his grandma being sexually active. It's weird. 576 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,479 Speaker 2: You know. The thing with your parents, the thing with 577 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 2: sex and your family members is you never want You 578 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 2: want your family members to be happy. You want your 579 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:58,920 Speaker 2: family members to leave to lead independent lives. You want 580 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 2: them to be with people that make them happy, and 581 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:06,680 Speaker 2: in a in a weird way, you do want you 582 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:13,600 Speaker 2: want your grandmother to have a fulfilling sex life as 583 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:18,040 Speaker 2: as part of you wanting her to have a fulfilling 584 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:24,640 Speaker 2: life in general. You just don't want to know about it. Hello, 585 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,360 Speaker 2: Hey is this Ruth? 586 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:28,640 Speaker 5: This is Ruth. 587 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:33,600 Speaker 2: What is going on with your Ruth? Oh? 588 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:37,560 Speaker 4: Nothing much, just painting and was watching your stream? 589 00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:44,440 Speaker 2: Send and Rob all my love quite frankly, Well, Ruth, 590 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 2: what is going on with you? Actually? It says here, 591 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 2: what's going on with you? Let me just say it. 592 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:52,520 Speaker 2: I'm gonna say it. Ruth twenty two years old from 593 00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 2: Nebraska says, you have a severe fear of pooping. 594 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if I can. Like, no, 595 00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,920 Speaker 4: this is like, honestly as real as it gets. And 596 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,920 Speaker 4: I've been to a therapist about it. I've been to 597 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:12,440 Speaker 4: a doctor about it. This is kind of like my 598 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:17,760 Speaker 4: last stitch effort. But so a little bit ago, I. 599 00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:18,480 Speaker 2: Was on. 600 00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,280 Speaker 4: I was on the type of birth control that you 601 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 4: like put in your arm, which made me get super 602 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,400 Speaker 4: sick all the time. And I don't know if I 603 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:31,680 Speaker 4: can classify this as a phobia, but yeah, no, so 604 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:35,440 Speaker 4: I was I had this. It's like the implant that 605 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,240 Speaker 4: goes inside your arm as birth control, and it just 606 00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,640 Speaker 4: made me sick every single day. And I had it 607 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:43,880 Speaker 4: for about like six months, and then I took it out. 608 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:49,680 Speaker 4: And then after that, I, you know, I was still 609 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 4: afraid to like go to the bathroom. I was still afraid. 610 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:53,480 Speaker 4: It's like. 611 00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 1: To you know, poop. 612 00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,960 Speaker 4: It's it's still it's so embarrassing to say, but it, yeah, 613 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:04,200 Speaker 4: I was afraid to poop. And now what were a 614 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:09,200 Speaker 4: year and a half after that, and every time I 615 00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:12,839 Speaker 4: have to use the restroom, I just freak out, like 616 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,720 Speaker 4: I have a I start sweating, I sometimes start crying. 617 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,479 Speaker 4: I sometimes have to have my fiance like literally hold 618 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,479 Speaker 4: my hand. I don't know what to do about it, all. 619 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 2: Right, So I want to know off the bat what 620 00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,960 Speaker 2: your therapist told you you should do about this. 621 00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 4: My therapist told me that I could have had trauma 622 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:38,800 Speaker 4: from it, because I don't know. I don't think it's drama. 623 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:43,200 Speaker 4: I think she basically just gave me some like coping 624 00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 4: mechanisms for panic attacks and then just told me to like, 625 00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,920 Speaker 4: you know, breathe through it, remind yourself that like you're okay, 626 00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,720 Speaker 4: like all of that stuff, and I tried that stuff, 627 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:58,600 Speaker 4: you know, it didn't hurt, but just didn't work. And 628 00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:03,200 Speaker 4: then my doctor told me or he prescribes them, like 629 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:07,200 Speaker 4: you know, like relax and stuff, and he told me 630 00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 4: that maybe that would make you know, the process easier. 631 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,680 Speaker 4: But after that I found out it was literally just 632 00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:17,719 Speaker 4: the act of like feeling it, like feeling. 633 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,040 Speaker 2: Your therapist told you that there might be some trauma there. 634 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,880 Speaker 4: Well, yeah, because okay, so I've been in therapy for 635 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,640 Speaker 4: a lot of years. I think therapy is healthy for anybody. 636 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:34,919 Speaker 4: But apparently, like one person can stub their toe when 637 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,320 Speaker 4: like they're six years old and have the worst trauma 638 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,359 Speaker 4: from it, and then another person you know, can stub 639 00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:41,799 Speaker 4: their toe and you know, not feel anything. Trauma can 640 00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:45,839 Speaker 4: happen like at weird different places for brains. 641 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 2: Oh what is trau? Because we that that word comes 642 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,799 Speaker 2: up as trauma? Because I think if trauma is like, 643 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:55,120 Speaker 2: you know, you were taking a ship and your mom 644 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,480 Speaker 2: came in when you were seven, she like beat you up. 645 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,880 Speaker 2: Like that's why I think when you think, but you're like, 646 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,080 Speaker 2: apparently if you stub your toe, is that trauma? Like 647 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:03,800 Speaker 2: what is trauma? 648 00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 4: So do you want like I don't know like a 649 00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,080 Speaker 4: like a like a like a scientific definition or do 650 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 4: you just definitely not don't. 651 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,839 Speaker 2: I don't know if I have the if I will 652 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,080 Speaker 2: understand a single word of any scientific definition of anything. 653 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:25,360 Speaker 2: But okay, so so trauma. You might have trauma from pooping. 654 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,040 Speaker 2: What do you think that trauma is? Like when you 655 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,040 Speaker 2: were younger, you had a bad experience pooping? 656 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:36,080 Speaker 4: Well, okay, so really dive into this. I guess I've 657 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:40,239 Speaker 4: always had, like you know, bowel movement issues, even from 658 00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:40,640 Speaker 4: a kid. 659 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:41,839 Speaker 1: I like had to. 660 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,440 Speaker 4: Go through procedures to get this done. I gotta fix. 661 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:49,319 Speaker 4: And then my boyfriend at the time of when I 662 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:55,279 Speaker 4: got this birth control, he was very supportive of it, 663 00:36:55,400 --> 00:37:00,400 Speaker 4: but he just like very supportive of it, and he 664 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,880 Speaker 4: just didn't make it a good experience for me. But 665 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:07,240 Speaker 4: I had it in it, like in me, the birth control, 666 00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 4: So maybe that played a factor. I I really couldn't 667 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:17,439 Speaker 4: tell you or else, like I wouldn't be on this goal. 668 00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:22,279 Speaker 4: But something, something's gotta change, something's gotta work, because every 669 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:25,160 Speaker 4: time I got a poop, it's like all whole process 670 00:37:25,239 --> 00:37:27,880 Speaker 4: of like panic. It takes two hours. 671 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,799 Speaker 2: Oh it takes two hours. So I mean, dude, how 672 00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,000 Speaker 2: often did how many times I didy poop. 673 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:39,439 Speaker 4: Probably like I probably only poop like two or three 674 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,400 Speaker 4: times a week, which I don't think is healthy. 675 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:45,080 Speaker 2: But do you do that actively because you don't want 676 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,920 Speaker 2: to deal with all the you know, panicky ship that 677 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:48,760 Speaker 2: you have to go through. 678 00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,239 Speaker 4: Not even that I just don't have much of an 679 00:37:52,239 --> 00:37:54,760 Speaker 4: appetite like in general. 680 00:37:59,040 --> 00:37:59,239 Speaker 3: Yeah. 681 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:05,000 Speaker 4: Well the doctor say, yeah, no, he just he said 682 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,640 Speaker 4: it's a psychological thing. And then he's like, here's some 683 00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:08,640 Speaker 4: mirror relaxed you. 684 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,719 Speaker 2: Know my relexis it's a laxative, right. 685 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, so like you know, stopt and stools. So 686 00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:19,720 Speaker 4: maybe like this year was like of me like having 687 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:23,879 Speaker 4: like constipation issues. He's like, maybe it comes out. That's 688 00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:29,520 Speaker 4: but a as one might say, it would get better. 689 00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,520 Speaker 4: But yeah, that's how I found out. It was just 690 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:35,680 Speaker 4: like the feeling and the act of doing some thing. 691 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,360 Speaker 2: Okay, what do you think about this exposure therapy? We 692 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:43,719 Speaker 2: take you to Taco Bell, we load you up on 693 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:48,840 Speaker 2: a cheesy bean burritos, and then in one day you 694 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:57,319 Speaker 2: just fucking a whole diarrhea filled day of liquidy posts 695 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:02,360 Speaker 2: and after a certain point, you adrenaline just gives out 696 00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:07,279 Speaker 2: and you are cured. Has anyone brought this up as 697 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:08,640 Speaker 2: an idea. 698 00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:12,920 Speaker 4: No, I honestly haven't told anybody about it, about you, 699 00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:24,040 Speaker 4: my fiance, so he has about that. I would a 700 00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:25,400 Speaker 4: heart attack, my fiance. 701 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:27,480 Speaker 2: You'd have a heart Oh you know, you think you'd 702 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:29,360 Speaker 2: have a heart attack if you like had to like 703 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:30,719 Speaker 2: diarrhea the entire day. 704 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:36,879 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, like if like if diaryeta came out 705 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:40,000 Speaker 4: of me for that long of it, like extensive of time, 706 00:39:40,200 --> 00:39:42,520 Speaker 4: like and I can't handle like one second of it, 707 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:45,359 Speaker 4: I'd be afraid of having like a fucking aneurysm in 708 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:46,959 Speaker 4: my brain or something. I don't know if that works 709 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:47,359 Speaker 4: like that. 710 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,080 Speaker 2: But man, I you know I can't. I'm having a 711 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,400 Speaker 2: hard time empathizing because I I don't know if you 712 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,400 Speaker 2: ever had diarrhea, But having diarrhea it almost feels a 713 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:59,360 Speaker 2: little good because like there's I mean you probably you 714 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 2: probably can't because you've made this stuff makes you have 715 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,880 Speaker 2: a panic attack, But expelling when you have diarrhea in you, 716 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,160 Speaker 2: it feels amazing to expel it from your body. 717 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:11,319 Speaker 5: Yeah. 718 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:13,600 Speaker 4: Now your people talk about like, oh my gosh, I 719 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:15,600 Speaker 4: just have like the best poop in my life or 720 00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:21,880 Speaker 4: like the best ship of my life, like we all 721 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:23,880 Speaker 4: like you're really full, and you're like you're just you 722 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:28,000 Speaker 4: just gotta like get back to the normal go to Okay? 723 00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:30,640 Speaker 4: Is that not normal? 724 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:33,480 Speaker 2: What does your husband say you're about to or your fiance? 725 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:34,799 Speaker 2: What was it you were at to just tell us what? 726 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:38,000 Speaker 2: He what his way in on this was. 727 00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,640 Speaker 4: He honestly doesn't say much. He just like holds He's 728 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,440 Speaker 4: a sweetheart, and he just holds my hand through it 729 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,319 Speaker 4: and it's just like you're gonna be okay, and like 730 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:51,680 Speaker 4: it's like birth or something like it's ridiculous and I'm so. 731 00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,480 Speaker 2: That's a good guy. I want somebody to hold my 732 00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,000 Speaker 2: hand through my shits. 733 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:03,719 Speaker 4: Honestly, honestly, it's it's not ideal, but if it were 734 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:08,719 Speaker 4: to happen, I'm lucky to have him. He hasn't. He 735 00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:10,839 Speaker 4: hasn't here with any ideas. I think it's just more 736 00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:15,480 Speaker 4: of like I just gotta like like top it out. 737 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,000 Speaker 4: I guess I don't know, But I also just want 738 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,680 Speaker 4: like something to help me. 739 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:21,920 Speaker 1: I don't know how. 740 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,560 Speaker 2: You see. 741 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:26,200 Speaker 4: That's fine. 742 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:27,680 Speaker 1: I'm good with that. 743 00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:31,680 Speaker 2: How are you with sharks? You ever shared yourself. 744 00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:34,479 Speaker 4: In my sleep? Want? 745 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,920 Speaker 2: Okay? What about what about P S P A A 746 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:39,680 Speaker 2: a factor here. 747 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:43,920 Speaker 4: No, he's fine. I love it. 748 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:48,480 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. Interesting. So the doctor hasn't been able to help. 749 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,920 Speaker 2: The therapist has it has kind of helped. 750 00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:54,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, like just kind of told me that, like you're 751 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:56,799 Speaker 4: just gonna need to cope through it. I was telling 752 00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:00,160 Speaker 4: the screen collar about sometimes like I bring like like 753 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,040 Speaker 4: stim toys if you know those are like you like 754 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:05,680 Speaker 4: little stress balls, or like the thing that you need. 755 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:07,239 Speaker 2: A fidget spinner every time you take a shit. 756 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:11,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, honestly, no, it's one of those things. And like 757 00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:13,359 Speaker 4: that sounds so funny, but like I hate that it's 758 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:18,720 Speaker 4: my reality. But yeah, so sometimes I just like distract myself. 759 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,319 Speaker 4: Sometimes I literally talk to myself like, hey, all you're 760 00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:25,920 Speaker 4: doing is like you're doing what everyone else in this 761 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,960 Speaker 4: world has to do, and they get through it. You're 762 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,359 Speaker 4: gonna be okay, But to me, it feels like death. 763 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,120 Speaker 2: M Have you have you had a like a panic 764 00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:36,279 Speaker 2: attack like this in a public restroom, because that sounds 765 00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:37,320 Speaker 2: like an absolute nightmare. 766 00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:40,160 Speaker 1: Yes, it is. 767 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:41,920 Speaker 4: I avoid public restrooms that all. 768 00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:48,160 Speaker 2: Cost mm hmm. Okay, so the therapist told you to 769 00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:50,520 Speaker 2: just gave you some Now, the doctor gave you the 770 00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:55,279 Speaker 2: mirror lax. The therapist gave you some breathing exercises and 771 00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:59,560 Speaker 2: then yes, but there's no cure as far as you know. 772 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,680 Speaker 4: I mean, like you said, exposure therapy. 773 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,080 Speaker 2: But like, there's the taco bell idea that's on the table. 774 00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:10,640 Speaker 4: It is on the table. But what if taco bell 775 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,680 Speaker 4: doesn't make me sick? Because I eat taco bell and 776 00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:14,040 Speaker 4: I kind of like it, so it it made me 777 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,600 Speaker 4: like taco hell, I hear a bunch like I don't 778 00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:17,640 Speaker 4: doesn't make you. 779 00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,319 Speaker 2: Eat You're afraid you have panic attacks every time you 780 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:21,640 Speaker 2: ship and you eat taco bell. 781 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:27,880 Speaker 4: I do because it's never really I feel like it 782 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:31,160 Speaker 4: might be potentially, but to me, it's just like that's 783 00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,279 Speaker 4: a good fake taco. 784 00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:40,640 Speaker 2: Hmm. Well, what's your name again? Ruth? Ruth? If anything, 785 00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:46,440 Speaker 2: if anything, let this, Uh would you call it an illness? 786 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:48,880 Speaker 2: Would you call it a what would you call this. 787 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:51,240 Speaker 4: A phobia? 788 00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:57,080 Speaker 2: I think let this, let this poop phobia. 789 00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:57,400 Speaker 1: Be. 790 00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:00,680 Speaker 2: If anything, if anything, if we could, because I like 791 00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:02,440 Speaker 2: to look at things in a positive way, if we 792 00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:04,560 Speaker 2: could look at this in a positive way, it is 793 00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:10,920 Speaker 2: maybe the greatest litmus test you could possibly give. Litmus test, 794 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:15,040 Speaker 2: you know what litmus test is? I don't fuck I 795 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,440 Speaker 2: don't know how to describe it, but it's like a 796 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:19,640 Speaker 2: it's like a test. Let it. Let this be a 797 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:26,480 Speaker 2: great litmus test to any potential partner that you know 798 00:44:26,600 --> 00:44:29,640 Speaker 2: he is truly the one for you. If if this 799 00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:32,480 Speaker 2: could be any sort of positive thing, because you now 800 00:44:32,560 --> 00:44:35,840 Speaker 2: know that you know if your if your fiance is 801 00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:39,919 Speaker 2: in the in the bathroom with you, holding your hand 802 00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,600 Speaker 2: while you're shitting, he is, He's the one, and know 803 00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:48,320 Speaker 2: that with with utmost confidence, the marriage is gonna work out. 804 00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:51,120 Speaker 2: So if this can be a positive in any way, 805 00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:51,759 Speaker 2: let it be that. 806 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:59,960 Speaker 4: And you're saying like, if potentially it does not work 807 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:05,000 Speaker 4: out for some reason and I acquire another boyfriend, if 808 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,120 Speaker 4: they don't hold my hand when I poop like. 809 00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:08,920 Speaker 2: That, they don't hold you know, if you if you 810 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:11,600 Speaker 2: go back into the dating market and guys are not 811 00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,279 Speaker 2: willing to sit in the bathroom with you and hold 812 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 2: your hand while you poop, they're not the one. 813 00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:18,719 Speaker 4: I feel like that's a rare breed of men. It 814 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:24,480 Speaker 4: would sit there and you got one, Yeah, and I didn't. Yeah, 815 00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,040 Speaker 4: I wasn't even looking for that specific quality in a man. 816 00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:32,680 Speaker 2: But yes, God is good and Jesus is okay to Ruth, 817 00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:34,040 Speaker 2: anything else you want to say to the people of 818 00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:35,000 Speaker 2: the computer before we go. 819 00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,080 Speaker 4: It's okay to have poop phobias. You're not alone. If 820 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,719 Speaker 4: anyone is watching this, honestly, if I'm the only one 821 00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:44,759 Speaker 4: that I've heard of, so I. 822 00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:48,800 Speaker 2: Bet someone is send us an email you have poop phobia. 823 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,200 Speaker 2: Well you cut out of bunch just now, but I 824 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,920 Speaker 2: kind of I kind of got the gist of what 825 00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:58,200 Speaker 2: you were trying to say, Ruth, thank you very much 826 00:45:58,239 --> 00:45:58,560 Speaker 2: for calling. 827 00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,440 Speaker 3: Absolutely, have a good night. 828 00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,319 Speaker 2: You have a good She cut out at the end. 829 00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:08,040 Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't cut out. There's a thing on 830 00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:13,160 Speaker 2: this fucking podcast where I cut off people when they're 831 00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:15,239 Speaker 2: saying good night. But that was it that she cut 832 00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:19,520 Speaker 2: off herself. That was a phone line thing, all right. 833 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:24,279 Speaker 2: Never goes on the line thinking your phone calls every night. 834 00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,320 Speaker 2: The rebacon goes to what it hide just teaching you 835 00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:28,800 Speaker 2: aloud in the middle of your life. 836 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,320 Speaker 3: But he's not really an expert.